No Longer Strangers
Stories
Lectionary Tales For The Pulpit
62 Stories For Cycle B
Milenko and Eldina Sunjic came to the United States as refugees from Bosnia in July of 1994. Their son, Dorian, was just four years old, and their son Vedran was born one month later, after they moved into an apartment on West Wells Street in Milwaukee. In late October of that year, our church in Wauwatosa offered Milenko a job as custodian. He and his family moved into the old parsonage next to the church, and he began his duties during the first week in November.
In January of 1996, our Global Ministries Commission invited Milenko and Eldina to tell their stories at the Mission Festival. Over 125 people crowded into Youth Hall on January 21 to hear them speak. John kidded Milenko afterward that the custodian hadn't set up nearly enough chairs.
Everyone was impressed by Milenko and Eldina's excellent grasp of the English language after just eighteen months in the United States. And we were deeply moved by their stories. Twelve years ago, when she was fifteen, Eldina was one of the dancers in the opening ceremonies of the 1984 Olympic winter games in the beautiful city of Sarajevo. Now much of Sarajevo lies in ruins, and she and Milenko find themselves far away from their beloved homeland. This is their story.
Eldina's Story
"Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen," the pretty, young blond woman said in a soft, heavily accented voice. "I am going to speak about my perspective of the war as a woman and a mother. First of all, I will tell you a little about myself before the war. I grew up just like most children in the world. I didn't care what nationality or religion other people were. I had friends of all different nationalities: Serbians, Croatians, Bosnian Muslims. We were very good friends. I danced with a popular folk dancing group. We performed all over Europe and I was very happy during that time.
"When I met Milenko, I heard for the first time in my life about people having hard times and problems because of their nationality. Milenko's family is Croatian/Catholic and had a very hard life. His two uncles left the country because of communism - and because of that the whole Sunjic family had to pay! They couldn't get a larger apartment. They lived in a little two-bedroom apartment - six of them. Milenko's father couldn't earn better pay even though he worked very hard. Milenko talked to me about other people in the same situation, and I was surprised! In my family, no one talked about politics and communism, so I didn't know about it. I just remember about one uncle who was in jail for six months because he used one wrong word. He was a journalist and in one short story he used a word that the communists didn't like, so after that my family was afraid to talk to me about communism. My family is Muslim.
"Later, when Milenko and I got married, we had a nice apartment. We bought all new furniture, a car and everything we needed for a good life. Milenko had a good paying job as a warehouse manager. I had my own beauty shop, so we had enough money, a good life, and soon, a beautiful, healthy son. We had no idea our happiness would last for such a short time. The war was beginning.
"At first, I was surprised. I couldn't believe people were fighting over land and domination! That was history that I learned about in school. But I did not have a lot of time to be shocked. Being a mother and mother-to-be during a war is so hard. Our son was past his second birthday, and babies that age can tell your feelings and emotions just by watching your facial expressions. So, even though I was scared, I kept smiling and held him so he wouldn't feel my fear. That was hard to do, but I knew I had to be strong and protect my baby.
"We could hear grenades and shelling around us. Roads were closed and grocery stores were empty. Everybody was afraid to stay because of the food shortage. Milenko found a way to send Dorian and me to Croatia. There was only one way, and that was a dangerous trip over the mountains. In peacetime, a trip to Croatia would take around five hours, but over the mountains, with Serbian soldiers all around, it took fourteen! We didn't have food, milk, or water for our children. We were very hungry. We cried and felt helpless.
"However, we finally came to Croatia and the Red Cross settled us on an island called Brac, in a refugee camp. There we got food and a room, so we were safe. There were a lot of mothers with children in the same situation I was in. I heard a lot of sad stories. Every day someone came with bad news about someone's husband or father being killed, or someone who lost a whole family. I was nervous, waiting to hear bad news. This was a very hard time for me. During the day I was a good mother so my son didn't know that I was worried, but at night, when he was sleeping, I would cry! I didn't have contact with Milenko for a long time because the telephone line was dead. Finally, he was able to get through to me on the satellite military phone to let me know he was alive. I don't know which is harder, to be a refugee, helpless and worrying, or to be in the war in a dangerous situation, but together. We were refugees, separated from Milenko for more than two years.
"Finally, Milenko came to Croatia to live, with no injuries. I was happy we were together again. I learned that my family was alive and still in Bosnia. It was hard to hear we lost everything - our home, money, car, business, even our photographs - it was like we lost our past. But I felt those were things that we could have again, and, most importantly, we were alive and together. We were lucky. A lot of people lost their whole family; women were raped; men lost an arm or a leg. A lot of people are still separated from the people they love.
"Now we are here in this beautiful country, starting a new life. I hope we are past the hardest part of our life, and I am thankful to God for a chance for a new life. I am glad you are interested in learning about our tragedy and the tragedy in our homeland. Thank you."
Milenko's Story
Milenko, dark-haired, tall and strong, looked uncomfortable before the microphone. His voice was deep, but soft, more heavily accented and less certain than his wife's.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, dear friends! Before I begin my speech, I wish to greet you and thank you for your interest in the situation in our country. It is difficult to explain the total situation, but I will try to make things clear.
"Before the beginning of the war, we lived in a small city in central Bosnia, in the country called Yugoslavia. Originally, Yugoslavia was the Kingdom of Serbia, Croatia and Slovenia, but it changed after the first World War. The Kingdom of Yugoslavia, which remained the country's name until the second World War, means Kingdom of South Slavish. After World War II, a second Yugoslavia was created from parts of six republics: Serbia, Croatia, Montenegro, Macedonia, Slovenia, and Bosnia/Herzegovina.
"The collapse of communism in the Soviet Union and the change to a democratic form of government allowed the first free elections in Yugoslavia. New political parties won that first free election, causing changes inside Yugoslavia that were opposed to the wishes of Serbia and Montenegro. These Serb countries wanted to retain the old communist system. The Serbian army carried out attacks, first on Slovenia and Croatia, then on Bosnia and Herzegovina. The war in Bosnia and Herzegovina was terrible mostly because there is such a mixed population there, more so than in any other republic. The first strike was deadly because the Serbians had a strong, well-organized army. Our republics were mostly unarmed, with no heavy weapons. Because of that, in the first few months the Serbian army took seventy percent of the Bosnian and Herzegovinian territory. I want to remind you that before the beginning of the war, Serbian people made up 33 percent of the population of Bosnia and Herzegovina, Muslims made up 44 percent, and Croatians made up seventeen percent.
"Many areas of our country were isolated by the fighting - even our own area in central Bosnia. People weren't prepared for war, and soon we were without food and other necessities for normal living. After the first attack, I was afraid for the safety of my family, and I decided to send them on a very dangerous trip to Croatia. I had to stay in our city because I was drafted into army duty. For a long time, I had heard nothing about my family - my parents, brother, sister, and their families. After a few months, I got a telephone call from my sister. She was in Croatia with her children, a refugee. She told me that our parents and our older brother's family were in northwest Croatia, also refugees. She didn't know anything about our older brother or her own husband. My youngest brother was with me, along with his wife and two daughters. During that time, it was difficult to see my brother's children live through the terrible situation we were in. They spent a few hours of every day in a shelter. There was shelling everywhere in our city. I had a hard time, being separated from my wife and son, but I was glad they were in a safe place, far from the war.
"The war affected many people. It was very serious and there was nothing anyone could do to change it. All people were very nervous, and demonstrated it in different ways. Some people were very distrustful and became aggressive. Others became frightened and looked for ways to stay alive. Worst of all was the feeling of helplessness.
"After the first few chaotic months, our people were successful in organizing and stopping the Serbian army's advance. During that time, I found out that my older brother was in southern Herzegovina. He and others from his town had been forced into the nearby mountains. After a few days, I succeeded in finding him, and our brother-in-law and a few cousins. While I was there with them, thousands and thousands of refugees began to enter my city, and other cities and towns of central Bosnia, daily from northern Bosnia. Soon there were about 10,000 refugees in my city, which caused a shortage of food. Distrust grew between local residents and the refugees, especially between the Croatian and Bosnian people. I expected to hear any day that a new war had broken out - for the arguments to become actual fighting. My youngest brother remained there, in isolation, with his family. I couldn't get back into our city because it was isolated by the war.
"During that time, Croatians, who were in the minority in Bosnia, retreated into Serbian territory. The Serbian army took men prisoners, but sent women and children back into Croatia. We were worried about my younger brother. We hadn't heard anything about him for a few days. Through the Red Cross, we found out that he was in a concentration camp, Manjica, in northern Bosnia. We were told by the Red Cross that they were making negotiations for the exchange of prisoners. After a few days, we received a telephone call from a friend saying my brother was alive and free. Although he was returned to an isolated area in central Bosnia, Kiseljak, we were glad that he was alive.
"I was finally able to travel to Croatia to find my wife and son, and our family was together again. I was very frustrated with the situation in Bosnia and decided to stay in Croatia to find a job and live with my family. But I couldn't find a job because there was still fighting in Croatia, too. We began thinking about leaving Croatia and going to a western country. We found an American organization for the naturalization of refugees in the U.S. I have two uncles in the U.S., so I was able to get an affidavit of relationship and soon we were here.
"After three months of living in Milwaukee, I was lucky to find a job in this church, and I am thankful to the people here who helped give me a chance for a new life. My family experienced tragedy, but there were a lot of other families who lost everything, so their tragedy was worse than ours.
"I am hopeful that our country will come to a peace agreement through the support of the U.S. and our country will finally have peace. I hope that people there will find a way to forgive one another. There are a lot of problems. They must find a way to rebuild destroyed factories, homes, schools, for a better future for them and their children. We are thankful for the U.S. government's support in negotiations and feel we couldn't reach a peace agreement without that support.
"We are able to have contact with other refugees here by telephone and letter. Recently, I found the telephone number of the best man from our wedding. He went to Belgrade before the beginning of the war. Right now he is in Sweden with his mother and daughter. He was very happy to get my call. Sometimes we receive letters from our friends in Bosnia, but not often enough, because the mail there isn't very efficient.
"Dear friends, my story is short, but I hope you can better understand the situation in our country. Thank you very much!"
In January of 1996, our Global Ministries Commission invited Milenko and Eldina to tell their stories at the Mission Festival. Over 125 people crowded into Youth Hall on January 21 to hear them speak. John kidded Milenko afterward that the custodian hadn't set up nearly enough chairs.
Everyone was impressed by Milenko and Eldina's excellent grasp of the English language after just eighteen months in the United States. And we were deeply moved by their stories. Twelve years ago, when she was fifteen, Eldina was one of the dancers in the opening ceremonies of the 1984 Olympic winter games in the beautiful city of Sarajevo. Now much of Sarajevo lies in ruins, and she and Milenko find themselves far away from their beloved homeland. This is their story.
Eldina's Story
"Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen," the pretty, young blond woman said in a soft, heavily accented voice. "I am going to speak about my perspective of the war as a woman and a mother. First of all, I will tell you a little about myself before the war. I grew up just like most children in the world. I didn't care what nationality or religion other people were. I had friends of all different nationalities: Serbians, Croatians, Bosnian Muslims. We were very good friends. I danced with a popular folk dancing group. We performed all over Europe and I was very happy during that time.
"When I met Milenko, I heard for the first time in my life about people having hard times and problems because of their nationality. Milenko's family is Croatian/Catholic and had a very hard life. His two uncles left the country because of communism - and because of that the whole Sunjic family had to pay! They couldn't get a larger apartment. They lived in a little two-bedroom apartment - six of them. Milenko's father couldn't earn better pay even though he worked very hard. Milenko talked to me about other people in the same situation, and I was surprised! In my family, no one talked about politics and communism, so I didn't know about it. I just remember about one uncle who was in jail for six months because he used one wrong word. He was a journalist and in one short story he used a word that the communists didn't like, so after that my family was afraid to talk to me about communism. My family is Muslim.
"Later, when Milenko and I got married, we had a nice apartment. We bought all new furniture, a car and everything we needed for a good life. Milenko had a good paying job as a warehouse manager. I had my own beauty shop, so we had enough money, a good life, and soon, a beautiful, healthy son. We had no idea our happiness would last for such a short time. The war was beginning.
"At first, I was surprised. I couldn't believe people were fighting over land and domination! That was history that I learned about in school. But I did not have a lot of time to be shocked. Being a mother and mother-to-be during a war is so hard. Our son was past his second birthday, and babies that age can tell your feelings and emotions just by watching your facial expressions. So, even though I was scared, I kept smiling and held him so he wouldn't feel my fear. That was hard to do, but I knew I had to be strong and protect my baby.
"We could hear grenades and shelling around us. Roads were closed and grocery stores were empty. Everybody was afraid to stay because of the food shortage. Milenko found a way to send Dorian and me to Croatia. There was only one way, and that was a dangerous trip over the mountains. In peacetime, a trip to Croatia would take around five hours, but over the mountains, with Serbian soldiers all around, it took fourteen! We didn't have food, milk, or water for our children. We were very hungry. We cried and felt helpless.
"However, we finally came to Croatia and the Red Cross settled us on an island called Brac, in a refugee camp. There we got food and a room, so we were safe. There were a lot of mothers with children in the same situation I was in. I heard a lot of sad stories. Every day someone came with bad news about someone's husband or father being killed, or someone who lost a whole family. I was nervous, waiting to hear bad news. This was a very hard time for me. During the day I was a good mother so my son didn't know that I was worried, but at night, when he was sleeping, I would cry! I didn't have contact with Milenko for a long time because the telephone line was dead. Finally, he was able to get through to me on the satellite military phone to let me know he was alive. I don't know which is harder, to be a refugee, helpless and worrying, or to be in the war in a dangerous situation, but together. We were refugees, separated from Milenko for more than two years.
"Finally, Milenko came to Croatia to live, with no injuries. I was happy we were together again. I learned that my family was alive and still in Bosnia. It was hard to hear we lost everything - our home, money, car, business, even our photographs - it was like we lost our past. But I felt those were things that we could have again, and, most importantly, we were alive and together. We were lucky. A lot of people lost their whole family; women were raped; men lost an arm or a leg. A lot of people are still separated from the people they love.
"Now we are here in this beautiful country, starting a new life. I hope we are past the hardest part of our life, and I am thankful to God for a chance for a new life. I am glad you are interested in learning about our tragedy and the tragedy in our homeland. Thank you."
Milenko's Story
Milenko, dark-haired, tall and strong, looked uncomfortable before the microphone. His voice was deep, but soft, more heavily accented and less certain than his wife's.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, dear friends! Before I begin my speech, I wish to greet you and thank you for your interest in the situation in our country. It is difficult to explain the total situation, but I will try to make things clear.
"Before the beginning of the war, we lived in a small city in central Bosnia, in the country called Yugoslavia. Originally, Yugoslavia was the Kingdom of Serbia, Croatia and Slovenia, but it changed after the first World War. The Kingdom of Yugoslavia, which remained the country's name until the second World War, means Kingdom of South Slavish. After World War II, a second Yugoslavia was created from parts of six republics: Serbia, Croatia, Montenegro, Macedonia, Slovenia, and Bosnia/Herzegovina.
"The collapse of communism in the Soviet Union and the change to a democratic form of government allowed the first free elections in Yugoslavia. New political parties won that first free election, causing changes inside Yugoslavia that were opposed to the wishes of Serbia and Montenegro. These Serb countries wanted to retain the old communist system. The Serbian army carried out attacks, first on Slovenia and Croatia, then on Bosnia and Herzegovina. The war in Bosnia and Herzegovina was terrible mostly because there is such a mixed population there, more so than in any other republic. The first strike was deadly because the Serbians had a strong, well-organized army. Our republics were mostly unarmed, with no heavy weapons. Because of that, in the first few months the Serbian army took seventy percent of the Bosnian and Herzegovinian territory. I want to remind you that before the beginning of the war, Serbian people made up 33 percent of the population of Bosnia and Herzegovina, Muslims made up 44 percent, and Croatians made up seventeen percent.
"Many areas of our country were isolated by the fighting - even our own area in central Bosnia. People weren't prepared for war, and soon we were without food and other necessities for normal living. After the first attack, I was afraid for the safety of my family, and I decided to send them on a very dangerous trip to Croatia. I had to stay in our city because I was drafted into army duty. For a long time, I had heard nothing about my family - my parents, brother, sister, and their families. After a few months, I got a telephone call from my sister. She was in Croatia with her children, a refugee. She told me that our parents and our older brother's family were in northwest Croatia, also refugees. She didn't know anything about our older brother or her own husband. My youngest brother was with me, along with his wife and two daughters. During that time, it was difficult to see my brother's children live through the terrible situation we were in. They spent a few hours of every day in a shelter. There was shelling everywhere in our city. I had a hard time, being separated from my wife and son, but I was glad they were in a safe place, far from the war.
"The war affected many people. It was very serious and there was nothing anyone could do to change it. All people were very nervous, and demonstrated it in different ways. Some people were very distrustful and became aggressive. Others became frightened and looked for ways to stay alive. Worst of all was the feeling of helplessness.
"After the first few chaotic months, our people were successful in organizing and stopping the Serbian army's advance. During that time, I found out that my older brother was in southern Herzegovina. He and others from his town had been forced into the nearby mountains. After a few days, I succeeded in finding him, and our brother-in-law and a few cousins. While I was there with them, thousands and thousands of refugees began to enter my city, and other cities and towns of central Bosnia, daily from northern Bosnia. Soon there were about 10,000 refugees in my city, which caused a shortage of food. Distrust grew between local residents and the refugees, especially between the Croatian and Bosnian people. I expected to hear any day that a new war had broken out - for the arguments to become actual fighting. My youngest brother remained there, in isolation, with his family. I couldn't get back into our city because it was isolated by the war.
"During that time, Croatians, who were in the minority in Bosnia, retreated into Serbian territory. The Serbian army took men prisoners, but sent women and children back into Croatia. We were worried about my younger brother. We hadn't heard anything about him for a few days. Through the Red Cross, we found out that he was in a concentration camp, Manjica, in northern Bosnia. We were told by the Red Cross that they were making negotiations for the exchange of prisoners. After a few days, we received a telephone call from a friend saying my brother was alive and free. Although he was returned to an isolated area in central Bosnia, Kiseljak, we were glad that he was alive.
"I was finally able to travel to Croatia to find my wife and son, and our family was together again. I was very frustrated with the situation in Bosnia and decided to stay in Croatia to find a job and live with my family. But I couldn't find a job because there was still fighting in Croatia, too. We began thinking about leaving Croatia and going to a western country. We found an American organization for the naturalization of refugees in the U.S. I have two uncles in the U.S., so I was able to get an affidavit of relationship and soon we were here.
"After three months of living in Milwaukee, I was lucky to find a job in this church, and I am thankful to the people here who helped give me a chance for a new life. My family experienced tragedy, but there were a lot of other families who lost everything, so their tragedy was worse than ours.
"I am hopeful that our country will come to a peace agreement through the support of the U.S. and our country will finally have peace. I hope that people there will find a way to forgive one another. There are a lot of problems. They must find a way to rebuild destroyed factories, homes, schools, for a better future for them and their children. We are thankful for the U.S. government's support in negotiations and feel we couldn't reach a peace agreement without that support.
"We are able to have contact with other refugees here by telephone and letter. Recently, I found the telephone number of the best man from our wedding. He went to Belgrade before the beginning of the war. Right now he is in Sweden with his mother and daughter. He was very happy to get my call. Sometimes we receive letters from our friends in Bosnia, but not often enough, because the mail there isn't very efficient.
"Dear friends, my story is short, but I hope you can better understand the situation in our country. Thank you very much!"
