God is enlightening you and...
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"... God is enlightening you and teaching you direct, bit by bit as you can bear it. It will feel uncomfortable, you often will feel lost, ashamed and contrite. But all that is a great grace for which you must be very grateful, because it comes from the contrast between the great God deigning to touch you, and your small soul. It is for him to choose what he shall show you, for you just to accept his lights and gently purify your love. It is natural and right that the soul should desire him in himself and also to be used by him. Both these phases are part of a full spiritual life. But our longing for him must be the kind that longs first for his will to be done, even though it means darkness for ourselves --at least that is how it seems to me.
"Don't strain after more light than you've got yet; just wait quietly. God holds you when you cannot hold him, and when the time comes to jump he will see to it that you do jump --and you will find you are not frightened then."
(From The Letters of Evelyn Underhill, edited by Charles Williams. Longmans, Green and Co.: London, 1943. p. 213.)
--Hedahl
"Don't strain after more light than you've got yet; just wait quietly. God holds you when you cannot hold him, and when the time comes to jump he will see to it that you do jump --and you will find you are not frightened then."
(From The Letters of Evelyn Underhill, edited by Charles Williams. Longmans, Green and Co.: London, 1943. p. 213.)
--Hedahl
