Humorist Lewis Grizzard recalls a...
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Humorist Lewis Grizzard recalls a dispute in a church in his hometown of Moreland, Georgia. A church decided to install chimes that would play hymns over the loudspeaker for the townspeople to enjoy at suppertime. One of the members happened to be a turkey farmer, and he claimed the chimes bothered his turkeys during their evening meal, and they weren't eating and getting fat so he could sell them at the market.
Ugliness ensued. The turkey farmer began shooting at the loudspeaker on the church steeple to silence the chimes. Other members of the church, meanwhile, crept into the turkey pens at night, carrying hatchets, which spooked the birds, giving them yet another reason not to eat. "Only after the church steeple had been riddled with bullet holes and most of the turkey farmer's flock had suffered complete nervous breakdowns was the matter settled," Grizzard writes. A solution was reached. The church agreed to play the chimes at an hour that would not interfere with the turkey's eating habits, and the turkey farmer called off his artillery.
Ugliness ensued. The turkey farmer began shooting at the loudspeaker on the church steeple to silence the chimes. Other members of the church, meanwhile, crept into the turkey pens at night, carrying hatchets, which spooked the birds, giving them yet another reason not to eat. "Only after the church steeple had been riddled with bullet holes and most of the turkey farmer's flock had suffered complete nervous breakdowns was the matter settled," Grizzard writes. A solution was reached. The church agreed to play the chimes at an hour that would not interfere with the turkey's eating habits, and the turkey farmer called off his artillery.
