It had been a long...
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It had been a long, cold night. Now, in the wee hours of morning, he approached the welcoming fire. "How did things get into such a mess?" he silently asked himself. "Was it Judas?" No, he didn't think Judas had expected this either. No one had. Maybe Judas even had more faith in Jesus than the rest of them. Maybe he just wanted to force Jesus' hand, make him reveal himself to the world as the Messiah Judas knew him to be, make him get on with the restoration of Israel. Maybe Judas, the betrayer, was himself betrayed, by his own expectations. Jesus didn't resist when the soldiers came to arrest him. "Why?" Peter asked himself for the thousandth time. "Why didn't Jesus fight back? Why didn't he save himself and those of us he called to follow him?" With sudden insight, Peter thought, "Probably Judas is asking himself the same thing: Why?" If anything, Peter realized, Judas probably felt worse than he did. "What will become of us?" Peter wondered. Jesus had called him a rock, the rock on which he would build his church. But Peter didn't feel much like a rock this night. He was afraid. Murmuring voices brought him out of his reverie. "He was one of them!" Peter realized they meant him! "I don't know him!" he said suddenly, startled by his words. In the distance, he heard a cock crowing, announcing a new dawn. They accused him again; again he denied any association. "But you're a Galilean," they said. "You must know him." And Peter tasted betrayal's bitterness yet a third time as he denied ever having known his best friend. The cock crowed a second time, and suddenly Peter remembered his friend's words, "Before the cock crows twice you will have denied me three times." Profoundly moved by love for this man who knew him better than he knew himself, Peter wept. -- Fannin
