It should have been an...
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It should have been an effective remedy for both of them, and Brandon had wrestled for years trying to understand why it wasn't. Brandon had never meant to hurt Aaron. He was trying to live his life with kindness and compassion as his guides. But along the way, what was a kindness for another, was not a kindness for Aaron. And when Aaron had discovered what Brandon had done, he was outraged. How well Brandon recalled that day in the barn when Aaron had appeared in the doorway. Brandon had been glad to see him until Aaron had made his accusations. Then Brandon felt as if his heart would break, for he truly cared for Aaron and saw no way to heal the wound he'd never meant to cause. Thinking about it again, as he had so often over the years, Brandon began to realize that Aaron hadn't come that day seeking reconciliation, but to wound in return. That was the reason he had never let Brandon say anything at all. Aaron had made his accusations; Brandon had acknowledged his actions. Then Aaron had stalked away. Neither of them, Brandon now realized, had ever been able to take the next step. Brandon could not ask for Aaron's forgiveness, because Brandon did not feel what he had done was wrong. But he did regret hurting Aaron -- and that was the part Brandon never had a chance to express. Meanwhile, over the years, Aaron's anger had turned to hatred. As much as Brandon would like to have had Aaron's forgiveness for whatever wrongs, perceived or real, he wanted it even more for Aaron's sake. But he doubted that Aaron would ever understand that he needed to forgive in order to be whole, in order to heal. -- Fannin
