James knew his death was...
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James knew his death was not going to be an easy one. AIDS claimed its victims in slow, agonizing increments. Yet it wasn't death James feared, nor even so much the process of dying. Rather, it was telling his family about the illness that was almost more than he could face. He knew if it was any other fatal disease, his family would walk with him through it, to the end, easing his journey. But this was AIDS, a disease with a stigma. True, there were many ways in which it could be contracted. But it wasn't in him to lie to his family about how he had gotten it, because that would deny his love for Paul. And above all else, James was not willing to turn his back on this friend who knew him better than he knew himself, and who loved him unconditionally. James had never thought of himself as a prophet -- one who confronts the world with realities it would prefer not to see. It was a role he particularly did not relish with his family. But AIDS had removed his options. He wondered, as he approached the door to his parents' home that Thanksgiving Day, who of his family would remain thankful that he was one of them, how many of them would accept him without the masks he had worn for years, how many deaths he would have to die before his final demise. -- Fannin
