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Sometimes we are in situations where we cannot do the things that we want to do. Sometimes the reasons are political: we can't afford to make certain moves without good reason. So although we might want to, say, befriend someone unusual, we need justification. It's not enough to just decide to be kind. We have to have an excuse: "We're working on a project together." "His daughter goes to school with my kids." We have to balance the consequences of unprovoked kindness -- sometimes it results in more evil than good. All it takes is a little bit of tactful wrangling to make such kindness seem provoked.
