Ruth had been afraid of...
Illustration
Ruth had been afraid of Steven from the moment she was first introduced to him. As the months passed, she encountered him occasionally in social situations, got to know him a little better, always wondering what it was about him that caused her to be so ill at ease. Was it the haunted look in his eyes? His obvious need for control? What was it she sensed in him? What lay behind his public facade? Anger? No, it was more than that. Outrage? What lay in his past that caused so much anguish that he felt a need to bury it so deeply? She could not know. But she sensed something volcanic, ready to explode if circumstances shifted, putting too much pressure on weaknesses he would never acknowledge. She had prayed during those months for his well-being, never dreaming the price the process would extract from her. As their lives progressed, Steven discovered aspects of Ruth's life that did not mesh with his firmly set ideas of right and wrong. And now, he hated her. Perhaps, with whatever lay in his past he really could not have reacted any other way. To have forgiven her would have changed everything he was, requiring him to face other unforgiven aspects of his life, and ultimately, to face himself. Probably he would have hated her for that, too. Still, Ruth continued to pray for his well-being, trying not to waiver in her faith that somehow God was using her to help Steven heal by giving him a focus for his outrage that was finally outside himself. She wished she could have been his friend rather than his enemy. But that was in God's hands. Perhaps one day Steven would understand the love that held him. -- Fannin
