Thomas had always been Janet's...
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Thomas had always been Janet's favorite of the Twelve because of his doubt. So often she had found herself in the same place he must have been -- wanting desperately to believe, but needing something more than her own desire to form a foundation for faith. She had felt heretical over the years whenever doubts assailed her. How could she verge on nonbelief when all those around her seemed so strong in their faith? What was wrong with her that she continually walked the path that seemed to lead through endless darkness? In those times, it comforted her to know that even one of Jesus' best friends had doubted the truth of such an incredible story. Thomas could genuinely believe only out of his own experience. Maybe that was ultimately the purpose of doubt, for Thomas and for her, to bring meaning to their faith once they finally managed to journey beyond the doubt. She often envied Thomas his experience of actually seeing Jesus and being invited to touch his wounds. Such things didn't happen in the twentieth century. And yet, her growing faith was based on her personal experience, "coincidences" that were hard to even tell anyone about, but which she could explain no other way than to attribute them to God acting in her life. -- Fannin
