The Collection
Drama
Sermon Warm-ups
21 Lead-in Skits
Cast Of Characters
Narrator: male or female, any age
Husband: male non-speaking role
Wife: female non-speaking role
Poor Woman: female non-speaking role
Usher: male or female non-speaking role
(The lights come up on an empty pew center stage, with stool to one side. All of the motions spoken by the Narrator should be acted out and exaggerated by the characters. The Narrator comes out and seats himself on the stool, then opens a book to read the following)
Narrator: Once upon a time there was a church. It was similar to many of God's churches. Every Sunday the church held services, which various people attended. People, creatures of habit, gravitated toward their usual pews or areas in the sanctuary. As usual, the Couple was one of the first to arrive. (Husband can be seen walking on stage) Well, just the Husband, really. He is a detail man, very precise, and a clock-watcher. (Husband checks his watch) Yes, he's right on time. The Husband carefully selects the same pew, where he always sits. (Husband walks towards the pew and assesses the space) After carefully allowing just enough room for his wife on the end, he sits down. He wouldn't want to allow too much room because then someone else might sit in his pew. His wife is usually a little late. (Wife appears) Especially if she sees someone to gossip with -- (Wife stops, hands on her hips, and glares towards Narrator) Excuse me, "fellowship with" on the way into church. (Wife rushes in to take her seat next to her husband) The Wife walks quickly to her pew and takes her seat. Just in time, because the worship service has started. (Husband checks his watch) Yes, the minister has started on time. Both listen attentively, or at least appear to listen. Wife leans over and starts to tell her Husband the juicy tidbit she just learned. (She leans over to whisper into his ear) But Husband is already trying to concentrate on what he needs to accomplish at the office tomorrow. (He brings his finger up to his chin and taps lightly, lost in thought) Wife is irritated, because as usual he is not listening to her. (She pokes him with her elbow) Husband checks, yes, he has allowed sufficient space for her to sit without bumping into him. (Husband checks the spacing, then glares at his wife) He is about to reprimand her, when suddenly a woman appears at the end of the row. (His mouth is open to speak to his Wife, when he sees the Woman standing hesitantly at the end of the aisle. Both Husband and Wife stare at the Woman) Why is she standing at their pew? Can't she find somewhere else to sit? (Couple glances around) Unfortunately, the church seems to be rather full. Husband and Wife are going to have to share their pew today. They grudgingly slide toward the other end of the pew. (Couple moves down) The Woman smiles timidly and gratefully. Husband checks his watch. Yes, the Woman arrived very late. (Husband and Wife look at his watch) Wife nods in righteous agreement. After all, she arrived before the service started, barely. (Wife glares again at the Narrator, who speaks to the audience) Okay, just ignore the "barely." Both Husband and Wife begin to look over the pew invader. (Both turn and look the Woman over head to toe) The Woman appears to be dressed rather poorly. (Husband and Wife look at each other in agreement, then scoot away from the Woman even more) So, the Couple decides to move away from the Woman, who obviously is not dressed properly for church. The Woman nervously straightens her clothes, and grasps her handbag tightly against her. Her movement draws attention to her 99 cent purse, which she picked up at the Salvation Army Thrift Store. Husband and Wife scoot a little farther down the pew. Suddenly, the Usher appears on the end of the aisle. The Usher passes the plate to the Husband and Wife. (Wife holds the plate, while Husband opens his wallet, and carefully selects his donation) The Husband, being the detail man that he is, wets his thumb and finger, and pulls out a crisp five-dollar bill. (Husband should hold the money so the audience can clearly see) He checks to be sure he only got one. Then, he wets his fingers again to pull out another five-dollar bill. Three times he carefully invades his billfold. He takes his time, so that everyone surrounding him may realize what a truly generous man he is. His Wife, sitting next to him, beams with pleasure at the generosity of her husband. She opens her purse and pulls out a rumpled twenty. She is employed too, and is not one to be outdone by her husband. The Wife then passes the plate to the Woman, being careful not to allow their fingers to touch. The Woman nervously takes the plate, which knocks her coin purse off her lap. Mortified the Woman watches as two pennies fall out onto the floor. Those two pennies are all the money that she has right now. Quickly she scoops the pennies up, and puts her money in the collection plate. She whispers reassuringly to herself, "The Lord will provide." (Woman should mouth the words as the Narrator speaks)
(Blackout)
Narrator: male or female, any age
Husband: male non-speaking role
Wife: female non-speaking role
Poor Woman: female non-speaking role
Usher: male or female non-speaking role
(The lights come up on an empty pew center stage, with stool to one side. All of the motions spoken by the Narrator should be acted out and exaggerated by the characters. The Narrator comes out and seats himself on the stool, then opens a book to read the following)
Narrator: Once upon a time there was a church. It was similar to many of God's churches. Every Sunday the church held services, which various people attended. People, creatures of habit, gravitated toward their usual pews or areas in the sanctuary. As usual, the Couple was one of the first to arrive. (Husband can be seen walking on stage) Well, just the Husband, really. He is a detail man, very precise, and a clock-watcher. (Husband checks his watch) Yes, he's right on time. The Husband carefully selects the same pew, where he always sits. (Husband walks towards the pew and assesses the space) After carefully allowing just enough room for his wife on the end, he sits down. He wouldn't want to allow too much room because then someone else might sit in his pew. His wife is usually a little late. (Wife appears) Especially if she sees someone to gossip with -- (Wife stops, hands on her hips, and glares towards Narrator) Excuse me, "fellowship with" on the way into church. (Wife rushes in to take her seat next to her husband) The Wife walks quickly to her pew and takes her seat. Just in time, because the worship service has started. (Husband checks his watch) Yes, the minister has started on time. Both listen attentively, or at least appear to listen. Wife leans over and starts to tell her Husband the juicy tidbit she just learned. (She leans over to whisper into his ear) But Husband is already trying to concentrate on what he needs to accomplish at the office tomorrow. (He brings his finger up to his chin and taps lightly, lost in thought) Wife is irritated, because as usual he is not listening to her. (She pokes him with her elbow) Husband checks, yes, he has allowed sufficient space for her to sit without bumping into him. (Husband checks the spacing, then glares at his wife) He is about to reprimand her, when suddenly a woman appears at the end of the row. (His mouth is open to speak to his Wife, when he sees the Woman standing hesitantly at the end of the aisle. Both Husband and Wife stare at the Woman) Why is she standing at their pew? Can't she find somewhere else to sit? (Couple glances around) Unfortunately, the church seems to be rather full. Husband and Wife are going to have to share their pew today. They grudgingly slide toward the other end of the pew. (Couple moves down) The Woman smiles timidly and gratefully. Husband checks his watch. Yes, the Woman arrived very late. (Husband and Wife look at his watch) Wife nods in righteous agreement. After all, she arrived before the service started, barely. (Wife glares again at the Narrator, who speaks to the audience) Okay, just ignore the "barely." Both Husband and Wife begin to look over the pew invader. (Both turn and look the Woman over head to toe) The Woman appears to be dressed rather poorly. (Husband and Wife look at each other in agreement, then scoot away from the Woman even more) So, the Couple decides to move away from the Woman, who obviously is not dressed properly for church. The Woman nervously straightens her clothes, and grasps her handbag tightly against her. Her movement draws attention to her 99 cent purse, which she picked up at the Salvation Army Thrift Store. Husband and Wife scoot a little farther down the pew. Suddenly, the Usher appears on the end of the aisle. The Usher passes the plate to the Husband and Wife. (Wife holds the plate, while Husband opens his wallet, and carefully selects his donation) The Husband, being the detail man that he is, wets his thumb and finger, and pulls out a crisp five-dollar bill. (Husband should hold the money so the audience can clearly see) He checks to be sure he only got one. Then, he wets his fingers again to pull out another five-dollar bill. Three times he carefully invades his billfold. He takes his time, so that everyone surrounding him may realize what a truly generous man he is. His Wife, sitting next to him, beams with pleasure at the generosity of her husband. She opens her purse and pulls out a rumpled twenty. She is employed too, and is not one to be outdone by her husband. The Wife then passes the plate to the Woman, being careful not to allow their fingers to touch. The Woman nervously takes the plate, which knocks her coin purse off her lap. Mortified the Woman watches as two pennies fall out onto the floor. Those two pennies are all the money that she has right now. Quickly she scoops the pennies up, and puts her money in the collection plate. She whispers reassuringly to herself, "The Lord will provide." (Woman should mouth the words as the Narrator speaks)
(Blackout)
