The Committee
Drama
Sermon Warm-ups
21 Lead-in Skits
Cast Of Characters
Janet Jason: female, older than college age
Mr. Snictnity: older, detail-oriented male
Minister: male or female, middle-aged
Mr./Ms. Jones: male or female, middle-aged architect
Mrs. Van Zahnt: older, wealthy church member
(The lights come up on a round table, with a semi-circle of chairs facing the audience. A refreshment table is off to one side. Mr. Snictnity is already seated, with his coffee. Janet Jason enters immediately)
Janet: Hello. Oh, I don't believe I've actually met you before, although, I've seen you around the church. I'm Janet Jason. (Holds out her arm to shake hands)
Snictnity: (Rises) Hello, I am Mr. Snictnity. (Takes her hand to shake, then pulls a hankie out of his pocket, and proceeds to wipe off his hands) That's with two n's, two i's, and two t's.
Janet: Uh, thanks, I'll remember that. (Crosses over to the side refreshment table, getting a glass of water and a cookie) Can I get you a refill on your coffee, while I get my water?
Snictnity: No, thank you. I limit the amount of coffee I can have per evening.
Janet: Oh, okay. (Joins him at the table and sits) I'm kind of excited about this committee meeting, since it's my first one here. Have you met the architect yet?
Snictnity: No, and unless the architect arrives within the next minute he/she will be late. This meeting is scheduled to start at 7 p.m.
Janet: Well, yes, but perhaps --
Minister: (Enters with the architect carrying blueprints) Good evening. Hi, Janet, good to see you here. Let me introduce you to Mr./Ms. Jones. (Jones and Janet shake hands) Hello, Mr. Snictnity, glad you could make the meeting. This is Mr./Ms. Jones. (The minister knows better than to shake hands with Snictnity. However, Jones shakes hands with Snictnity, who promptly wipes his hands off on his hankie again)
Snictnity: That's with two n's, two i's, and two t's.
Jones: Uh, how interesting.
Snictnity: Shall we go ahead and get started? I have 7 p.m. and counting.
Minister: Well, is Mrs. Van Zahnt here yet?
Janet: No, I don't believe so. At least I haven't seen her.
Minister: Maybe we'll just wait a few minutes. Mr./Ms. Jones, can I get you a cup of coffee or ice water to drink? We also have some cookies.
Jones: A cup of coffee would be great.
Minister: (Pours coffee for both) Mr. Snictnity, have you had your evening's limit yet?
Snictnity: Oh, yes, so good of you to remember, I --
Mrs. Van Zahnt: Hello, everyone. (Stops, and hits a pose to get everyone's attention) I see everyone's here. The best was saved for last. (She laughs at her joke; no one else is quite sure it was funny)
Snictnity: You are late.
Van Zahnt: I certainly hope you haven't started without me. (Crosses to sit at the table)
Minister: Oh, no, we were waiting for everyone to arrive. (Snictnity snorts in disgust) Why don't we go ahead and get this meeting started? As you know, the building committee has already approved the plans for the new church building. Now it's time for you, our church's Landscape and Grounds Committee, to approve the plans. I'd like to introduce Mr./Ms. Jones, who is a nationally-known architect and landscape designer, and at this point I will let Mr. /Ms. Jones take over the meeting. Mr./Ms. Jones takes over the meeting. (Everyone claps as the minister takes a seat at the table)
Jones: Thank you. (Jones begins to unroll the blueprints for all to see) The church plans have been approved and so now it is time for the preliminary discussion on the landscape design. As you know, I believe that it is vitally important that the building and the landscape design interact as one, to create a unity of composition.
Snictnity: (Quietly) Also convenient for keeping all business within your company.
Van Zahnt: Shh!
Jones: Here you can see the outline of the building. (Points to various places on the blueprint) The parking lot is located at the back with a play area located to the side. Because you chose an enormously large tract of land, a variety of landscape options are available to you.
Snictnity: We bought this large tract of land to allow for expansion possibilities in future years. Therefore, I don't see that we need a very detailed landscape plan. It seems to me, we should just bulldoze the entire tract. Put some grass all around with maybe just a few bushes up by the building. Then, when we need to add-on, the land is all ready to go.
Van Zahnt: I disagree entirely. Our church has a responsibility to present a beautiful face to the world, so that anyone driving by would be interested in attending. It is also important for current members to take pride in the appearance of the church. We wouldn't want to suffer any embarrassment from looking too plain or ordinary. I have been meeting with my garden club, and we have devised a list of plants, trees, and shrubs that should be used to beautify the church. (Pulls several sheets of paper out of her purse, which she hands to Jones) Now I am sure when you read through this list, you will recognize the experience and expertise that went into the selection of these plants, some of which are truly exotic and expensive, I might add. Naturally I would be willing to contribute some additional funds to the Building And Grounds budget, to ensure that the quality and size of vegetation selected is suitable for our church's needs. (Hands a check to the minister) You can see that I have earmarked the check for the appropriate use of the funds. Well, I think that takes care of just about everything. Shall we adjourn?
Snictnity: Although I am in favor of an efficient meeting, I am certainly not going along with your hare-brained notion of sticking weird plants everywhere, when we will just have to bulldoze them in a year or two.
Van Zahnt: (Gasps) You most certainly will not be bulldozing my lovely and expensive flowers.
Janet: (Gently) Just a minute. I thought this was supposed to be a committee meeting and a committee decision, with guidance from the designer. I don't believe I agree with either of you. I think that --
Snictnity: Listen, since this is your first committee as a member of this church, perhaps you should just listen and learn.
Van Zahnt: Well, I am surprised that we agree on something. Dear girl, I doubt that you have the experience or the funding to vastly influence the decision that is made here, so --
Snictnity: I know for a fact, that no donation is going to be the determining factor on the decision here, so you can just think --
Minister: Just a minute. Perhaps we should all take a deep breath and let the designer explain any ideas that he/she has.
Jones: Well, generally I like to meet with my clients first, to get an idea of their areas of interest and budget, before submitting a suggested plan. I think I have an understanding of Mr. Snictnity's and Mrs. Van Zahnt's position, but I don't believe I have heard from all.
Janet: Thank you! I would like to see, as much as possible, the original indigenous trees and plants left intact. This would allow for a greater appreciation of God's creation through the native plants and wildlife. Perhaps since we have so much land, a nature area with a walking trail through, so the children could learn more --
Snictnity: Oh, no, it's one of those kook environmentalists. They always slow up the process and won't allow any construction. This meeting should have been over some time ago. (Looks at his watch) I simply don't have any more time. I have to go. Please notify me of the next meeting. I will put the date on my Daytimer. (Leaves)
Van Zahnt: This is simply ridiculous, as if I am going to fund some sort of nature area. I don't know who selected these people for the Landscape Committee, but obviously a grievous error has been made. (Takes the check back, and heads for the door) I take it the error will be corrected before the next meeting.
Jones: (Bewildered) Wasn't this supposed to be a church committee meeting?
(Blackout)
Janet Jason: female, older than college age
Mr. Snictnity: older, detail-oriented male
Minister: male or female, middle-aged
Mr./Ms. Jones: male or female, middle-aged architect
Mrs. Van Zahnt: older, wealthy church member
(The lights come up on a round table, with a semi-circle of chairs facing the audience. A refreshment table is off to one side. Mr. Snictnity is already seated, with his coffee. Janet Jason enters immediately)
Janet: Hello. Oh, I don't believe I've actually met you before, although, I've seen you around the church. I'm Janet Jason. (Holds out her arm to shake hands)
Snictnity: (Rises) Hello, I am Mr. Snictnity. (Takes her hand to shake, then pulls a hankie out of his pocket, and proceeds to wipe off his hands) That's with two n's, two i's, and two t's.
Janet: Uh, thanks, I'll remember that. (Crosses over to the side refreshment table, getting a glass of water and a cookie) Can I get you a refill on your coffee, while I get my water?
Snictnity: No, thank you. I limit the amount of coffee I can have per evening.
Janet: Oh, okay. (Joins him at the table and sits) I'm kind of excited about this committee meeting, since it's my first one here. Have you met the architect yet?
Snictnity: No, and unless the architect arrives within the next minute he/she will be late. This meeting is scheduled to start at 7 p.m.
Janet: Well, yes, but perhaps --
Minister: (Enters with the architect carrying blueprints) Good evening. Hi, Janet, good to see you here. Let me introduce you to Mr./Ms. Jones. (Jones and Janet shake hands) Hello, Mr. Snictnity, glad you could make the meeting. This is Mr./Ms. Jones. (The minister knows better than to shake hands with Snictnity. However, Jones shakes hands with Snictnity, who promptly wipes his hands off on his hankie again)
Snictnity: That's with two n's, two i's, and two t's.
Jones: Uh, how interesting.
Snictnity: Shall we go ahead and get started? I have 7 p.m. and counting.
Minister: Well, is Mrs. Van Zahnt here yet?
Janet: No, I don't believe so. At least I haven't seen her.
Minister: Maybe we'll just wait a few minutes. Mr./Ms. Jones, can I get you a cup of coffee or ice water to drink? We also have some cookies.
Jones: A cup of coffee would be great.
Minister: (Pours coffee for both) Mr. Snictnity, have you had your evening's limit yet?
Snictnity: Oh, yes, so good of you to remember, I --
Mrs. Van Zahnt: Hello, everyone. (Stops, and hits a pose to get everyone's attention) I see everyone's here. The best was saved for last. (She laughs at her joke; no one else is quite sure it was funny)
Snictnity: You are late.
Van Zahnt: I certainly hope you haven't started without me. (Crosses to sit at the table)
Minister: Oh, no, we were waiting for everyone to arrive. (Snictnity snorts in disgust) Why don't we go ahead and get this meeting started? As you know, the building committee has already approved the plans for the new church building. Now it's time for you, our church's Landscape and Grounds Committee, to approve the plans. I'd like to introduce Mr./Ms. Jones, who is a nationally-known architect and landscape designer, and at this point I will let Mr. /Ms. Jones take over the meeting. Mr./Ms. Jones takes over the meeting. (Everyone claps as the minister takes a seat at the table)
Jones: Thank you. (Jones begins to unroll the blueprints for all to see) The church plans have been approved and so now it is time for the preliminary discussion on the landscape design. As you know, I believe that it is vitally important that the building and the landscape design interact as one, to create a unity of composition.
Snictnity: (Quietly) Also convenient for keeping all business within your company.
Van Zahnt: Shh!
Jones: Here you can see the outline of the building. (Points to various places on the blueprint) The parking lot is located at the back with a play area located to the side. Because you chose an enormously large tract of land, a variety of landscape options are available to you.
Snictnity: We bought this large tract of land to allow for expansion possibilities in future years. Therefore, I don't see that we need a very detailed landscape plan. It seems to me, we should just bulldoze the entire tract. Put some grass all around with maybe just a few bushes up by the building. Then, when we need to add-on, the land is all ready to go.
Van Zahnt: I disagree entirely. Our church has a responsibility to present a beautiful face to the world, so that anyone driving by would be interested in attending. It is also important for current members to take pride in the appearance of the church. We wouldn't want to suffer any embarrassment from looking too plain or ordinary. I have been meeting with my garden club, and we have devised a list of plants, trees, and shrubs that should be used to beautify the church. (Pulls several sheets of paper out of her purse, which she hands to Jones) Now I am sure when you read through this list, you will recognize the experience and expertise that went into the selection of these plants, some of which are truly exotic and expensive, I might add. Naturally I would be willing to contribute some additional funds to the Building And Grounds budget, to ensure that the quality and size of vegetation selected is suitable for our church's needs. (Hands a check to the minister) You can see that I have earmarked the check for the appropriate use of the funds. Well, I think that takes care of just about everything. Shall we adjourn?
Snictnity: Although I am in favor of an efficient meeting, I am certainly not going along with your hare-brained notion of sticking weird plants everywhere, when we will just have to bulldoze them in a year or two.
Van Zahnt: (Gasps) You most certainly will not be bulldozing my lovely and expensive flowers.
Janet: (Gently) Just a minute. I thought this was supposed to be a committee meeting and a committee decision, with guidance from the designer. I don't believe I agree with either of you. I think that --
Snictnity: Listen, since this is your first committee as a member of this church, perhaps you should just listen and learn.
Van Zahnt: Well, I am surprised that we agree on something. Dear girl, I doubt that you have the experience or the funding to vastly influence the decision that is made here, so --
Snictnity: I know for a fact, that no donation is going to be the determining factor on the decision here, so you can just think --
Minister: Just a minute. Perhaps we should all take a deep breath and let the designer explain any ideas that he/she has.
Jones: Well, generally I like to meet with my clients first, to get an idea of their areas of interest and budget, before submitting a suggested plan. I think I have an understanding of Mr. Snictnity's and Mrs. Van Zahnt's position, but I don't believe I have heard from all.
Janet: Thank you! I would like to see, as much as possible, the original indigenous trees and plants left intact. This would allow for a greater appreciation of God's creation through the native plants and wildlife. Perhaps since we have so much land, a nature area with a walking trail through, so the children could learn more --
Snictnity: Oh, no, it's one of those kook environmentalists. They always slow up the process and won't allow any construction. This meeting should have been over some time ago. (Looks at his watch) I simply don't have any more time. I have to go. Please notify me of the next meeting. I will put the date on my Daytimer. (Leaves)
Van Zahnt: This is simply ridiculous, as if I am going to fund some sort of nature area. I don't know who selected these people for the Landscape Committee, but obviously a grievous error has been made. (Takes the check back, and heads for the door) I take it the error will be corrected before the next meeting.
Jones: (Bewildered) Wasn't this supposed to be a church committee meeting?
(Blackout)
