COPS: Bethlehem
Drama
Nativity Dramas
Four Nontraditional Christmas Plays for All Ages
Object:
Characters (in order of appearance)
Benjamin Cameraman (nonspeaking)
Producer Extras (nonspeaking, people used in crowds)
Street Person 1
David
Innkeeper's Wife (Martha)
Innkeeper (Ezra)
Angry Mob 1 (part of the angry mob)
Angry Mob 2 (part of the angry mob)
Angry Mob 3 (part of the angry mob)
Joseph
Ezekiel
Ezekiel's Wife
Melchior
Balthasar
Gaspar
Passerby (woman)
Shepherd 1
Shepherd 2
Shepherd 3
Mary
Costumes
All characters wear appropriate costumes for the time period, 2,000 years ago.
Props
2 sets of police gear (helmets, badges, belts, spears, plastic handcuffs)
Video camera (an old VHS camera is good, but a camera can also be made from a shoebox)
Boom microphone (microphone attached to a broomstick or other pole)
Scrolls
Pouch with drawstring
Inn furniture
Camel
Small lamp
Small flask
Coins
Basket
Three shepherd's crooks
Manger
Doll (baby Jesus in manger)
Scene One: The Inn
(Scene One opens on the streets of old Bethlehem with two officers on foot patrol. A Cameraman and Producer are following the officers, and the senior officer is talking to the camera as they walk. People are milling around the street as they walk by.)
Benjamin: Anyway, this time of year you see a little bit of everything, no matter what. The harvest is in, it's too early to plant for next season, so you've got people with time on their hands. People plus spare time always equals trouble.
Producer: Like what kind of trouble?
Benjamin: Usual sort of stuff, in a city like this. Pickpockets, charlatans, the occasional mugging, some scam artist trying to get your help to transfer money out of a bank account in Ethiopia. Everybody has an angle.
Street Person 1: (steps in front of them, holds up a scroll) Got your map of the Prophets' Tombs, right here. Ten shekels. It's the only one of its kind, only one copy made -- drawn by a scribe who was struck by blindness the day he finished it.
Benjamin: Really?
Street Person 1: (glances anxiously at camera) Really. Best bargain you'll ever see, Captain. For you, eight shekels. I've always been partial to the boys in blue, Captain.
Benjamin: It's Sergeant.
(As they talk, David, the other cop, reaches out and slips a pouch off the street person's shoulder, dumps out a dozen identical scrolls.)
David: One of a kind? What are these?
Street Person 1: (looks down at them, wide-eyed for a moment, then drops to his knees and throws up his hands) It's a miracle! Praise the Lord!
David: (kicks the scrolls aside) Get on with you, before I show you the Miracle of the Blunt Object.
(Street Person 1 scrambles to gather up the scrolls, stuffs them into the pouch and hurries offstage. David picks up one, studies it idly as the others talk.)
Benjamin: Of course, it's worse this year than it usually is.
Producer: Why is that?
Benjamin: The Roman census, of course --
David: (interrupts) Census! It's not enough that they enslave us, that they take away our freedom and desecrate our temple, but they have to make sure they have an accurate count of us so they know how much they can expect to steal from us every year. (makes a spitting gesture) Caesar Augustus can count my -- oof!
(Benjamin elbows David, points over his shoulder to the camera and mimes using a movie camera. David falls silent.)
Benjamin: What I think my young friend was getting at is that there have been some problems with the census. It's caused a lot of hardship in the last month or so, for some folks.
Producer: Why is that?
Benjamin: Rome has ordered that everyone must go back to the ancestral home, the city where their family came from, to be counted.
(Innkeeper's Wife steps out into the street to flag them down.)
Innkeeper's Wife: Watchmen! Watchmen! Can you hurry, please? I think there's going to be trouble!
(The entourage of officers and journalists hurry to the door of the Bethlehem Inn where Innkeeper's Wife is waiting anxiously. They step inside. The inn is messy and there are four people standing at the desk.)
Innkeeper's Wife: Thank goodness you came! I was afraid things might get ugly.
David: (looks around distastefully) If that's what you were worried about, I'm afraid we're too late, ma'am.
Innkeeper's Wife: (momentarily confused) What?
David: Who did your decorating, the Goths?
Innkeeper's Wife: Don't worry about that, now --
David: You should really think about getting those Trading Spaces people to come here. They can do wonders.
Benjamin: Let the lady talk, David.
Innkeeper's Wife: You can see there's a crowd forming here. They're angry. It's an angry mob. Help us!
Innkeeper: (embarrassed) Now, Martha --
Innkeeper's Wife: It's an angry mob. Somebody's got to do something!
Angry Mob 1: You're darn right we're angry! We need a place to stay!
Angry Mob 2: We booked our room six months ago, and this innkeeper, here, is telling us he doesn't have a room for us! (pulls out a scroll) I have a confirmation number! I have a late check-in guarantee!
Angry Mob 3: And I have a confirmation, too! And a mother-in-law who's going to boil me alive if I don't have a room for her for the night.
Innkeeper: And I have no more room! I don't care what kind of paper you have, I can't just magically produce another wing on the inn. Have you been outside lately? Have you looked at the roads, and the streets, and the town well?
Angry Mob 2: (waves scroll in Innkeeper's face) What about my confirmation?
Innkeeper: (snatches scroll from Angry Mob 2's hand and rips it) What confirmation?
(Benjamin steps forward, carefully reaches out to put his spear between Innkeeper and the rest of the crowd.)
Benjamin: Okay, I think we need to take a step back, here. Let's everybody calm down a bit, take a deep breath, and try to work this out.
Angry Mob 1: He can work it out right now. Just give me my room! (others say more or less the same thing. Benjamin turns to Innkeeper; Cameraman gets closer, Producer leans in with microphone.)
Innkeeper: (nervously) That's what I've been trying to tell everyone. There is no room at the inn. I can't help them -- nobody can. There's not a room to be had within a day's walk of Jerusalem. The only room we've got left is the stable, and even the animals are getting a little crowded.
Benjamin: Okay, what about doubling up? (to the mob) Would you be willing to share rooms?
Angry Mob 1: (looks at Angry Mob 2) I can't, with him. He's a Samaritan. No offense.
Angry Mob 2: (points over his shoulder at Angry Mob 3) And he's a tax collector. No one would stay with him. He's the reason we're in this mess.
Angry Mob 3: (shrugs) I just follow orders. Nobody likes paying taxes. I'd be willing to share, but my mother-in-law is kind of picky --
Innkeeper: It doesn't matter anyway. It's what I've been saying, there's just no room. We're already doubled up in the guest rooms, and I've got families sleeping in my lobby tonight. You're not going to be able to get up and go to the bathroom without stepping on someone during the night. I can't crowd anyone else in.
David: Sounds like a bad time for a visit from the Fire Marshal.
(Benjamin rolls his eyes, shakes his head.)
Innkeeper: Go ahead, shut me down. Then you're going to have ten times this many people screaming for a place to stay. I'll send them to your house.
Benjamin: Nobody's shutting anybody down. So you're saying you don't have any room -- and you (to the mob) if he did have a room or two, that wouldn't do you any good, is that right? You all need separate rooms?
Mob: That's right.
Benjamin: Then here's what's going to happen. In about thirty seconds, I'm going to start taking people in for vagrancy. Anybody inside the city walls who doesn't have a room to sleep in is going to spend the night in the Jerusalem lockup. If they're lucky, they'll get to leave in the morning -- but you never know, King Herod's jailers get a little overeager, sometimes, and someone might end up minus an eye or a limb, or something worse.
Angry Mob 1: Now look, let's be reasonable --
Benjamin: If you'd rather not gamble on how cranky the jailers might be, you can be outside the walls by the time I start rounding people up. There's shepherds out there, in the hills. Find a group of them and bed down for the night, and come back to be counted in the morning. Give 'em a few shekels, and you might get a place by the fire.
Angry Mob 2: Shepherds? Why would I want to spend the night with shepherds?
Angry Mob 3: Because you don't want to spend it in the lockup. Come on, let's go. I have to figure out how to explain this to my mother-in-law.
Angry Mob 1: Mother-in-law? Try explaining it to my wife. She hasn't been in a good mood since ... ever.
(Angry Mob leaves; Joseph remains behind. He had been standing behind the others, listening without speaking. He looks tired and a little afraid.)
Joseph: Uh -- excuse me, sir ... you mentioned that you had room in the stable?
Innkeeper: I was being sarcastic. I can't rent you the stable, son.
Joseph: Normally I wouldn't ask, sir, but we really need a place to stay. My wife is with child -- and I'm afraid the journey has been too hard on her, and she's going to have the baby tonight. She needs a roof over her head to do that.
Innkeeper: But I --
Innkeeper's Wife: Shush, don't be a hardheaded old man, Ezra. How far along is your wife, son?
Joseph: Eight or nine months, I think.
Innkeeper's Wife: Then it may well be time. We can put you up in the stable for the night, young man. It's the cave in the hillside, just south of here.
Joseph: (anxiously) Thank you! Thank you! Let me tell my wife! (hurries out of the room)
Producer: (watches Joseph leave) This is a nice thing you're doing. I'm glad we were here for it.
Innkeeper's Wife: (shrugs) I guess. We all do what we have to do. We're occupied, you know -- we have to take care of one another.
Producer: Very nice. (signals Cameraman to stop taping; they turn and start walking away)
Innkeeper's Wife: (as they walk away) Besides, donkeys and cows don't pay rent. People do. Every shekel helps, you know?
(Producer looks back at her, then at Cameraman, who shrugs and indicates he's already stopped taping.)
Benjamin: (shakes his head) Like I said before, everybody's got an angle. Come on, it's time to check the watch at the gates.
(Benjamin and David walk off together with Producer casting one more backward glance at Innkeeper and Innkeeper's wife.)
Scene One ends
Scene Two: The Gate
(Scene Two opens as the Officers, Cameraman, and Producer are standing on a Bethlehem street, with Ezekiel and his wife, next to a camel. Ezekiel is in a sleeveless T-shirt and is trying to look unconcerned; his wife is nervous.)
Benjamin: So -- (looks at scroll) -- Ezekiel, is this your camel?
Ezekiel: Yeah, it's, like, totally mine, man.
Benjamin: (hands scroll back to Ezekiel) Could I see the registration, please?
Ezekiel: I -- uh -- I -- I don't have it, man. I think I left it at home.
Benjamin: You wouldn't be driving an unregistered camel, would you? You wouldn't be trying to avoid the tax, would you?
Ezekiel: No, no, I'm good. I mean it, I'm good. I know I got it at home.
David: (slowly walks around camel as he speaks) Do you know why we pulled you over, Ezekiel?
Ezekiel: I don't know, man. I just know I'm gonna be late for work. Is this gonna take long?
Benjamin: You blew through a stop sign, back there a couple of blocks. Before that, you were going down the wrong side of Main Street.
Ezekiel: Wrong side? Man, isn't that a one-way street anymore? It used to be a one-way. (agitated) Look, man, I've got to get to work. I'm going to be late.
David: I think you need to focus, Ezekiel. This could be bad for you. (whacks the back end of the camel with the butt of his spear, knocks off a small lamp; the camel snorts) Look, Sarge -- the taillight's broken.
Ezekiel: Look, what is this? What's going on here, man? You really gonna roust me for a lousy walking stop? I know what this really is! I know what this really is!
Ezekiel's Wife: (takes his arm) Ezekiel, don't get like that. Cool down! You can't afford to --
Ezekiel: (shrugs off her hand) Look, man, we all know the only thing I'm guilty of is DWG -- driving while Galilean.
David: That's it! (grabs Ezekiel) Up against the camel! Feet back, hands on the hump. (begins searching Ezekiel once he's in position)
Ezekiel's Wife: (upset) I told you to calm down! I told you to take it easy!
Ezekiel: I didn't do nothin'! They just don't like us country people down here in the city. I didn't do nothin', man.
David: No? (straightens up, holding a small flask pulled out of a pocket in Ezekiel's robe; passes it over to Benjamin)
Benjamin: (takes the lid off, sniffs it, dabs a finger in, and touches it to his tongue) How long you been doing myrrh, son?
Ezekiel: I went to the dentist today, man! Got two teeth pulled out, and he gave me some myrrh to dull the pain. (opens his mouth widely) Want to see? (opens mouth again)
David: (backs away) Oh, man, you want to brush, or something? Something die in there?
Ezekiel's Wife: He really was at the dentist, officer. And he told him not to drive. I told him not to drive. But he wouldn't listen.
Benjamin: Dentist, eh? Well, until we get everything sorted out, you're going to have to go to lockup.
Ezekiel: Look, man, I'm already late for work. I've got to get the ovens fired up, or the bakers won't be able to do anything when they come in, in a couple of hours.
Benjamin: (shrugs) It wasn't my choice, it was yours.
(Ezekiel walks over to the line.)
Ezekiel's Wife: (sobs) I tried to get him to give me the reins, but he wouldn't do it. I tried!
Benjamin: You should have listened to your wife, Ezekiel. David, take him in -- and take this along. (hands him the flask)
David: (starts to put plastic cuffs on Ezekiel) Ezekiel, you are under arrest. You have the right ... What am I saying, it's 4 BC -- you don't have any rights. Just come with me.
Ezekiel: (as David hustles him offstage) I'm innocent! You can't do this to me! I'm going to be late for work!
Ezekiel's Wife: Ezekiel! I'll wait for you! Everything's going to be okay! (to Benjamin) What's going to happen to him?
Benjamin: He should be fine. He'll spend a night or two in the lockup, while we sort things out, but he should be fine unless King Herod takes a dislike to him. He's not related to the king, is he?
Ezekiel's Wife: Ezekiel? No, not even close.
Benjamin: Good, everything should be fine. You know, there's a saying that it's safer to be King Herod's pig than his relative. (pauses, looks at camera) Can you take that out?
Producer: All sorts of things end up on the cutting room floor, Benjamin. Just depends on how much interesting footage we get.
Benjamin: I'll try to keep the rest of the night interesting. (to Ezekiel's Wife) Are you okay, ma'am?
Ezekiel's Wife: I guess so. If I hurry, I can make it home before the kids wake up.
Benjamin: You left your children home -- alone?
Ezekiel's Wife: (shrugs) We had things to do. The oldest is almost five -- he can take care of things, if need be.
Benjamin: Then you'd best be getting along, ma'am. And drive safely. (touches his helmet in farewell)
(Benjamin, Producer, and Cameraman walk on as Ezekiel's Wife and camel move offstage.)
Benjamin: You know, in this job especially, you see so much wrong in the world. So many ways people screw up, so many ways people can make the wrong choices. (glances back over his shoulder) You look at someone, and you think to yourself, "How did they end up here?" Given a choice between right and wrong, how come we make the wrong choice so many times?
Producer: It's just the way people are, I guess. I see it, too.
Benjamin: I'm sure you do. I've been doing this since ... oh, since I was David's age, I suppose. And after all those years, I can't look back and say, "Well, things were bad then, but they've gotten better." People are doing the same things now they did then.
Producer: Is that why you stay in this? Are you trying to make things better?
Benjamin: I hope not -- otherwise I'd be very depressed by now. I'm in it because this is what I know how to do ... and I keep hoping that something will come along that will make it better. Or at least give us reason to hope. When that happens, I want to be there.
Melchior: (from offstage) Excuse me, sir?
(Benjamin, Producer, and Cameraman stop, turn toward Melchior's voice.)
Melchior: (hurries onstage, with Balthasar and Gaspar) Excuse me, sir?
Benjamin: What can I do for you?
Melchior: I'm afraid we might be lost, and I'm hoping you can put us back on the right path. We're looking for a king.
Benjamin: Looking for a king? Then I know you're lost. Jerusalem is that way, about four miles. That's where you'll find King Herod's court. (looks at them closely) You're not from around here, are you?
Balthasar: We have come here from far away. I am Balthasar, a Royal Astronomer from Babylon. Gaspar is a scholar of ancient texts from the library at Ur, and Melchior, here, is a philosopher from the University of Babel. And it's not King Herod or his court we seek.
Benjamin: I thought you were looking for the king?
Balthasar: We are. But King Herod is the old king -- we have traveled here looking for a new king, the one foretold by your own great prophets and proclaimed by the stars of heaven.
Benjamin: New king? I haven't heard of any births at the palace in Jerusalem.
Gaspar: The new king we seek will not come from the family of Herod. Your own prophets have foretold that he will come from the family of King David. It was Micah who said, "But you O Bethlehem Ephrathah, who are little among the clans of Judah, from you shall come forth for me one who is to be ruler of Israel."
Benjamin: (looks around, tries to point subtly to the camera, which has closed in on them) Look, Casper --
Gaspar: Gaspar.
Benjamin: Whatever. I don't know what the king is like back where you come from, but around here it's not too healthy to go talking about a new King of Israel that's going to replace King Herod. The man gets moody. You don't want to be on his bad side, even if you are from out of town.
Gaspar: We did not write the prophecy, my friend -- we have only read it, and understood it.
Benjamin: He's not real big on reading and understanding, either. He's more into people just sitting down and being quiet. You don't want to be called to his court, Jasper.
Gaspar: Gaspar.
Melchior: In truth, sir, we have already been to visit your King Herod. We thought it best to announce ourselves when we entered his kingdom. We wanted to extend a hand of friendship from the East and pay our respects.
Balthasar: That, and some of his spies spotted us when we crossed the border.
(Melchior shrugs agreement.)
Benjamin: And he let you come looking for this new king, after all you told him?
Melchior: He seemed very eager for us to find him. He even asked that we go back to Jerusalem to let him know where this new king is, once we have found him. He said he wants to see this new king for himself, to pay his respects.
Benjamin: I'll just bet he does. So how can I help you? I still say if you're looking for a king, you're in the wrong place. We are just overrun with people right now -- common people. Very common people.
Gaspar: And yet your prophets have told us the place, just as the stars have announced the date. He is here. Believe us.
Benjamin: Listen, Gaston --
Gaspar: Gaspar.
Benjamin: -- take another look at the stars. There's thousands of them up there -- it's easy enough to misread them, right?
Balthasar: Not really. We know it's now, we know he's here ... we just have to find him. Now, we thought we would start at the actual birthplace of your King David (unrolls a scroll, holds it out for Benjamin to look at), and just inside the gates we met this very helpful young man who happened to have a map of famous sites from King David's time --
Benjamin: (takes the scroll and looks at it, shakes his head) Let me guess. You bought this from him, right?
Melchior: He didn't want to sell it, but we really needed it. Then he was going to give it to us, but we talked him into accepting payment for it.
Balthasar: It seemed only fair. It was a rare and valuable artifact, passed down in this young man's family for many generations ... we're lucky it was still in one piece.
Benjamin: In one piece? You're lucky the ink was dry. Look, Gaspar --
Gaspar: (automatically) Casper. (does a double-take)
Benjamin: The man's a scam artist, a hustler. (hands the scroll back to Balthasar) How much did he let you force him to take?
Balthasar: (takes the scroll, looks at it dispiritedly) A hundred shekels.
Benjamin: Whew! He sure had you pegged. Sorry to say, you've been had, friends.
Balthasar: He seemed so honest. We trusted him.
Benjamin: Listen, when you've been doing this as long as I have, you learn not to put your trust in anyone, or anything. They'll only end up letting you down.
Melchior: That seems like a lonely way to live, Sergeant. I've found that in the end, trust and faith are the only things you can count on -- everything else will just let you down.
Benjamin: And here you are, 1,000 miles from home, with no place to lay your head, looking for a person no one knows.
Melchior: God never promised us an easy journey, Sergeant -- just an interesting one.
(As they're talking, Street Person 1 wanders onstage, counting money. He stops when he realizes who else is there, and Balthasar makes eye contact first.)
Balthasar: That's him! That's the man who sold us the map!
(All turn to face Street Person 1.)
Street Person 1: Hey, I don't know what you're -- Benjamin: You! Hold it right there!
Street Person 1: (realizing who Benjamin is) Oh, man!
(Street Person 1 takes off running. Benjamin takes off after him, with Cameraman and Producer close behind. The Magi watch for a moment, then follow.)
Scene Two ends
Scene Three: The Stable
(Scene Three opens on another street in Bethlehem. Benjamin, the Producer, Cameraman, and the Magi walk onstage from one direction, looking around.)
Balthasar: I don't see him. I think we've lost him.
Melchior: How can that be? How can a man disappear into thin air?
Benjamin: When you live on the wrong side of the law, you become very good at hiding from it. You might even convince yourself you'll never get caught -- but you can't hide from the law forever. Eventually, there's a reckoning.
(Passerby walks onstage carrying a basket.)
Gaspar: Excuse me, ma'am? Ma'am!
Passerby: (stops) What, me?
Gaspar: Yes, ma'am. Did you see a young man running down this street in the last couple of minutes?
Passerby: (looks at the Magi) I don't know. It's late, and I'm tired. My memory isn't very good, right now --
Balthasar: No? (takes out a handful of coins, holds them out to the woman) Perhaps this will help your memory.
Passerby: (pleased, takes the coins) Hmmm. Perhaps it will. Who were you looking for?
Balthasar: A man, running down this street within the last few minutes.
Passerby: About this tall (shows height with her hand), dark hair, brown robe, running like Old Man Herod was chasing after him?
Balthasar: That would be him. Where did he go?
Passerby: Don't know, didn't see him. But thanks for the donation. (walks off, laughing to herself)
Benjamin: (who had been watching skeptically) I could have told you that would happen.
Melchior: Then why didn't you?
Benjamin: Because you're free to make your own mistakes. Free will, you know. But, look, you guys are going to have to be a little smarter about how you do things, or people around here are going to talk about you for a long time -- about how not-very-bright you were.
Melchior: Then that's their right. Free will, and all. You can't live your life believing that everyone around you is a criminal.
Benjamin: Sure you can. And you'll end up being disappointed a lot less often. I --
(Benjamin is interrupted by the sound of sheep bleating. He pauses, looks around.)
Benjamin: Where is that noise coming from?
Balthasar: (points) Just outside the gate, I think.
Benjamin: Don't they know what time of the night this is?
(Shepherds walk onstage, followed by David and Ezekiel, still in cuffs. David and Ezekiel seem confused. The sheep continue to bleat occasionally.)
Shepherd 1: Excuse me, sir, but have you seen the new king?
Benjamin: New king? I think the guys you want to talk to are over there. (points to the Magi)
(The Shepherds walk past, David starts to walk by, also, but Benjamin catches him by the arm.)
Benjamin: David! What are you doing here? You should be in Jerusalem by now.
David: I -- I don't know. Something incredible just happened.
Benjamin: What are you --
Ezekiel: (animated) It was awesome, man! It was, like, totally ... awesome!
Benjamin: Thank you, Mister Dictionary. Totally. David, snap out of it! What happened out there?
(Benjamin, David, and Ezekiel stop talking out loud, although they still seem to be speaking. The Shepherds are now speaking to the Magi, at the other side of the stage.)
Shepherd 2: Have you seen the new king?
Balthasar: No, we haven't. How did you come to know about the new king?
Shepherd 3: Do you know where the new king might be? We must find him.
Balthasar: We may be able to help you. But how did you find out about him?
Shepherd 1: We were in the field, in the hills not far from here. My brother and I, there, were asleep. We had drawn lots, and our cousin (gestures toward Shepherd 3), lost, so he was the night watch.
Shepherd 2: I heard voices -- it was the other officer and his prisoner. I turned over and paid no mind. And then it happened.
Shepherd 3: A man -- or maybe it was a woman -- a person suddenly appeared in the sky, floating up there among the stars. His face glowed, and he said, "Don't be afraid! I bring you glad tidings of great joy!"
Shepherd 1: The light woke us up -- and the voice. It was like ... music.
Shepherd 2: And then he said, "A new king, a Savior, the Messiah, has been born to you this night in the city of Bethlehem."
Shepherd 3: "And you will know it is him because you will find him lying in a manger, wrapped in swaddling clothes."
(Shepherds and Magi continue to talk, but without sound. David, Benjamin, and Ezekiel begin speaking out loud.)
David: I let the water cup fall out of my hand -- I just stood there, like a tree, barely able to look at this creature, but not able to turn away. And suddenly it was like daytime out there -- like the sun had come to earth, and there were no shadows, no dark places in the entire world. Hundreds -- maybe thousands of these creatures appeared in the sky.
Benjamin: (doubtfully) Hundreds? Thousands?
David: Were you that much more comfortable with just one glowing being hovering in the air above us? I tell you, there were thousands of them all of a sudden, like the heavens had opened up.
Ezekiel: And they said, like, "Praise God! Glory to God! Glory to God in Heaven -- and, like, peace and good will on earth, to everybody." (shakes his head) It was awesome.
David: And then they were gone. The light faded, and I realized I couldn't see any of them. It was just the shepherds and us ... like before. Only not like before. Because everything is different now. Do you understand?
Benjamin: What are you talking about?
Ezekiel: The Messiah is here! The Messiah has been born tonight -- right here!
Benjamin: (to Ezekiel) Did you use some more myrrh? (to David) Did he get the bottle of myrrh?
Ezekiel: The only thing I got was the message, man. I got the message.
(Benjamin, David, and Ezekiel stop talking out loud and the Magi and Shepherds begin speaking out loud again.)
Gaspar: Are you sure this new king is the Messiah?
Shepherd 1: All I know is that the angels told us a new king has been born tonight, in the city of Bethlehem.
Shepherd 2: Just as it was foretold in the Torah.
Shepherd 3: He has come to deliver us all. Just as it was written by the prophets.
(The Magi walk to where Benjamin, David, and Ezekiel are standing. The Shepherds follow.)
Melchior: Did you hear what happened? Did they tell you?
Benjamin: They told me. I just don't know if I believe it. Face it, I've got a myrrh-head and a young officer who seems to be in shock. Not your best witnesses.
Melchior: But we have three shepherds -- and I'll bet you they told the same story.
Benjamin: No bet. Something happened out there -- I'm just not sure what.
Balthasar: There's an easy way to find out. They were told to look for a baby, lying in a manger, wrapped in swaddling clothes.
Benjamin: Right, and what kind of sense does that make? Why would anyone have a baby and put it out in a stable ... (slows down) ... in a manger ... Oh my gosh.
Balthasar: What?
Benjamin: The Bethlehem Inn. It doesn't make sense -- it doesn't make sense at all -- but I think I saw them earlier tonight. The father, at least.
Producer: At the inn! The young man who asked if they could stay in the stable!
Benjamin: And he said his wife was about to give birth! Come on, the stable is over this way!
(The entire entourage moves across the stage to the setting of the stable. Mary and Joseph are sitting by a manger, in which rests a baby. Everybody hangs back for a moment or two, and then Melchior steps forward hesitantly.)
Melchior: Is this the child that we were told about?
Joseph: I suspect that he is.
Balthasar: And what will you call him?
Mary: (reaches out to the manger, pats the baby) We will call him Jesus.
Gaspar: And he will also be called Marvelous, Counselor, Prince of Peace, King of kings --
Mary: All in good time. But for tonight, he is Jesus. Our son.
Shepherd 1: And our Savior. (kneels)
Shepherd 2: Let us worship him. (kneels)
Shepherd 3: The ancient promise is fulfilled. (kneels)
(David takes off Ezekiel's cuffs, and they both join the Shepherds, kneeling. Gaspar and Balthasar give gifts to Mary and Joseph. Melchior and Benjamin step back, to speak.)
Benjamin: This is the Messiah? How can that be? The Messiah is supposed to be a great leader.
Melchior: Being born in humble circumstances doesn't mean that a child can't grow up to be someone truly remarkable -- anymore than being born in a royal court means that a child will grow up to be a leader worthy of respect. It's not how you're born, or who you are born to -- it's what you do with the life you are given that tells the measure of a man.
Benjamin: And that man -- that child -- in there?
Melchior: Is destined for great things. Great and terrible things. He is here to set us free.
Benjamin: From the Romans? (looks over his shoulder at the camera, then back to Melchior then lowers his voice) From King Herod?
Melchior: From ourselves. From the evil that we do. One day, that child in there will be a man, and that man will take on the sins of the world, so the rest of us can be free of the burden of what we have done.
Benjamin: But how?
Melchior: All in good time, son, all in good time. For today, let's just celebrate the fact that he is finally here. And tomorrow ... tomorrow is another day.
Benjamin: I told someone that I was waiting for things to get better, waiting for hope. I just never expected to find it ... not here, not tonight.
Melchior: The best gifts are always the ones we weren't expecting. (puts an arm around Benjamin's shoulder) Let's go in and see the future.
Benjamin: You know -- I always wondered what the future would look like.
Melchior: The future has the face of a child, Benjamin, it always does. Just like hope.
The End
Benjamin Cameraman (nonspeaking)
Producer Extras (nonspeaking, people used in crowds)
Street Person 1
David
Innkeeper's Wife (Martha)
Innkeeper (Ezra)
Angry Mob 1 (part of the angry mob)
Angry Mob 2 (part of the angry mob)
Angry Mob 3 (part of the angry mob)
Joseph
Ezekiel
Ezekiel's Wife
Melchior
Balthasar
Gaspar
Passerby (woman)
Shepherd 1
Shepherd 2
Shepherd 3
Mary
Costumes
All characters wear appropriate costumes for the time period, 2,000 years ago.
Props
2 sets of police gear (helmets, badges, belts, spears, plastic handcuffs)
Video camera (an old VHS camera is good, but a camera can also be made from a shoebox)
Boom microphone (microphone attached to a broomstick or other pole)
Scrolls
Pouch with drawstring
Inn furniture
Camel
Small lamp
Small flask
Coins
Basket
Three shepherd's crooks
Manger
Doll (baby Jesus in manger)
Scene One: The Inn
(Scene One opens on the streets of old Bethlehem with two officers on foot patrol. A Cameraman and Producer are following the officers, and the senior officer is talking to the camera as they walk. People are milling around the street as they walk by.)
Benjamin: Anyway, this time of year you see a little bit of everything, no matter what. The harvest is in, it's too early to plant for next season, so you've got people with time on their hands. People plus spare time always equals trouble.
Producer: Like what kind of trouble?
Benjamin: Usual sort of stuff, in a city like this. Pickpockets, charlatans, the occasional mugging, some scam artist trying to get your help to transfer money out of a bank account in Ethiopia. Everybody has an angle.
Street Person 1: (steps in front of them, holds up a scroll) Got your map of the Prophets' Tombs, right here. Ten shekels. It's the only one of its kind, only one copy made -- drawn by a scribe who was struck by blindness the day he finished it.
Benjamin: Really?
Street Person 1: (glances anxiously at camera) Really. Best bargain you'll ever see, Captain. For you, eight shekels. I've always been partial to the boys in blue, Captain.
Benjamin: It's Sergeant.
(As they talk, David, the other cop, reaches out and slips a pouch off the street person's shoulder, dumps out a dozen identical scrolls.)
David: One of a kind? What are these?
Street Person 1: (looks down at them, wide-eyed for a moment, then drops to his knees and throws up his hands) It's a miracle! Praise the Lord!
David: (kicks the scrolls aside) Get on with you, before I show you the Miracle of the Blunt Object.
(Street Person 1 scrambles to gather up the scrolls, stuffs them into the pouch and hurries offstage. David picks up one, studies it idly as the others talk.)
Benjamin: Of course, it's worse this year than it usually is.
Producer: Why is that?
Benjamin: The Roman census, of course --
David: (interrupts) Census! It's not enough that they enslave us, that they take away our freedom and desecrate our temple, but they have to make sure they have an accurate count of us so they know how much they can expect to steal from us every year. (makes a spitting gesture) Caesar Augustus can count my -- oof!
(Benjamin elbows David, points over his shoulder to the camera and mimes using a movie camera. David falls silent.)
Benjamin: What I think my young friend was getting at is that there have been some problems with the census. It's caused a lot of hardship in the last month or so, for some folks.
Producer: Why is that?
Benjamin: Rome has ordered that everyone must go back to the ancestral home, the city where their family came from, to be counted.
(Innkeeper's Wife steps out into the street to flag them down.)
Innkeeper's Wife: Watchmen! Watchmen! Can you hurry, please? I think there's going to be trouble!
(The entourage of officers and journalists hurry to the door of the Bethlehem Inn where Innkeeper's Wife is waiting anxiously. They step inside. The inn is messy and there are four people standing at the desk.)
Innkeeper's Wife: Thank goodness you came! I was afraid things might get ugly.
David: (looks around distastefully) If that's what you were worried about, I'm afraid we're too late, ma'am.
Innkeeper's Wife: (momentarily confused) What?
David: Who did your decorating, the Goths?
Innkeeper's Wife: Don't worry about that, now --
David: You should really think about getting those Trading Spaces people to come here. They can do wonders.
Benjamin: Let the lady talk, David.
Innkeeper's Wife: You can see there's a crowd forming here. They're angry. It's an angry mob. Help us!
Innkeeper: (embarrassed) Now, Martha --
Innkeeper's Wife: It's an angry mob. Somebody's got to do something!
Angry Mob 1: You're darn right we're angry! We need a place to stay!
Angry Mob 2: We booked our room six months ago, and this innkeeper, here, is telling us he doesn't have a room for us! (pulls out a scroll) I have a confirmation number! I have a late check-in guarantee!
Angry Mob 3: And I have a confirmation, too! And a mother-in-law who's going to boil me alive if I don't have a room for her for the night.
Innkeeper: And I have no more room! I don't care what kind of paper you have, I can't just magically produce another wing on the inn. Have you been outside lately? Have you looked at the roads, and the streets, and the town well?
Angry Mob 2: (waves scroll in Innkeeper's face) What about my confirmation?
Innkeeper: (snatches scroll from Angry Mob 2's hand and rips it) What confirmation?
(Benjamin steps forward, carefully reaches out to put his spear between Innkeeper and the rest of the crowd.)
Benjamin: Okay, I think we need to take a step back, here. Let's everybody calm down a bit, take a deep breath, and try to work this out.
Angry Mob 1: He can work it out right now. Just give me my room! (others say more or less the same thing. Benjamin turns to Innkeeper; Cameraman gets closer, Producer leans in with microphone.)
Innkeeper: (nervously) That's what I've been trying to tell everyone. There is no room at the inn. I can't help them -- nobody can. There's not a room to be had within a day's walk of Jerusalem. The only room we've got left is the stable, and even the animals are getting a little crowded.
Benjamin: Okay, what about doubling up? (to the mob) Would you be willing to share rooms?
Angry Mob 1: (looks at Angry Mob 2) I can't, with him. He's a Samaritan. No offense.
Angry Mob 2: (points over his shoulder at Angry Mob 3) And he's a tax collector. No one would stay with him. He's the reason we're in this mess.
Angry Mob 3: (shrugs) I just follow orders. Nobody likes paying taxes. I'd be willing to share, but my mother-in-law is kind of picky --
Innkeeper: It doesn't matter anyway. It's what I've been saying, there's just no room. We're already doubled up in the guest rooms, and I've got families sleeping in my lobby tonight. You're not going to be able to get up and go to the bathroom without stepping on someone during the night. I can't crowd anyone else in.
David: Sounds like a bad time for a visit from the Fire Marshal.
(Benjamin rolls his eyes, shakes his head.)
Innkeeper: Go ahead, shut me down. Then you're going to have ten times this many people screaming for a place to stay. I'll send them to your house.
Benjamin: Nobody's shutting anybody down. So you're saying you don't have any room -- and you (to the mob) if he did have a room or two, that wouldn't do you any good, is that right? You all need separate rooms?
Mob: That's right.
Benjamin: Then here's what's going to happen. In about thirty seconds, I'm going to start taking people in for vagrancy. Anybody inside the city walls who doesn't have a room to sleep in is going to spend the night in the Jerusalem lockup. If they're lucky, they'll get to leave in the morning -- but you never know, King Herod's jailers get a little overeager, sometimes, and someone might end up minus an eye or a limb, or something worse.
Angry Mob 1: Now look, let's be reasonable --
Benjamin: If you'd rather not gamble on how cranky the jailers might be, you can be outside the walls by the time I start rounding people up. There's shepherds out there, in the hills. Find a group of them and bed down for the night, and come back to be counted in the morning. Give 'em a few shekels, and you might get a place by the fire.
Angry Mob 2: Shepherds? Why would I want to spend the night with shepherds?
Angry Mob 3: Because you don't want to spend it in the lockup. Come on, let's go. I have to figure out how to explain this to my mother-in-law.
Angry Mob 1: Mother-in-law? Try explaining it to my wife. She hasn't been in a good mood since ... ever.
(Angry Mob leaves; Joseph remains behind. He had been standing behind the others, listening without speaking. He looks tired and a little afraid.)
Joseph: Uh -- excuse me, sir ... you mentioned that you had room in the stable?
Innkeeper: I was being sarcastic. I can't rent you the stable, son.
Joseph: Normally I wouldn't ask, sir, but we really need a place to stay. My wife is with child -- and I'm afraid the journey has been too hard on her, and she's going to have the baby tonight. She needs a roof over her head to do that.
Innkeeper: But I --
Innkeeper's Wife: Shush, don't be a hardheaded old man, Ezra. How far along is your wife, son?
Joseph: Eight or nine months, I think.
Innkeeper's Wife: Then it may well be time. We can put you up in the stable for the night, young man. It's the cave in the hillside, just south of here.
Joseph: (anxiously) Thank you! Thank you! Let me tell my wife! (hurries out of the room)
Producer: (watches Joseph leave) This is a nice thing you're doing. I'm glad we were here for it.
Innkeeper's Wife: (shrugs) I guess. We all do what we have to do. We're occupied, you know -- we have to take care of one another.
Producer: Very nice. (signals Cameraman to stop taping; they turn and start walking away)
Innkeeper's Wife: (as they walk away) Besides, donkeys and cows don't pay rent. People do. Every shekel helps, you know?
(Producer looks back at her, then at Cameraman, who shrugs and indicates he's already stopped taping.)
Benjamin: (shakes his head) Like I said before, everybody's got an angle. Come on, it's time to check the watch at the gates.
(Benjamin and David walk off together with Producer casting one more backward glance at Innkeeper and Innkeeper's wife.)
Scene One ends
Scene Two: The Gate
(Scene Two opens as the Officers, Cameraman, and Producer are standing on a Bethlehem street, with Ezekiel and his wife, next to a camel. Ezekiel is in a sleeveless T-shirt and is trying to look unconcerned; his wife is nervous.)
Benjamin: So -- (looks at scroll) -- Ezekiel, is this your camel?
Ezekiel: Yeah, it's, like, totally mine, man.
Benjamin: (hands scroll back to Ezekiel) Could I see the registration, please?
Ezekiel: I -- uh -- I -- I don't have it, man. I think I left it at home.
Benjamin: You wouldn't be driving an unregistered camel, would you? You wouldn't be trying to avoid the tax, would you?
Ezekiel: No, no, I'm good. I mean it, I'm good. I know I got it at home.
David: (slowly walks around camel as he speaks) Do you know why we pulled you over, Ezekiel?
Ezekiel: I don't know, man. I just know I'm gonna be late for work. Is this gonna take long?
Benjamin: You blew through a stop sign, back there a couple of blocks. Before that, you were going down the wrong side of Main Street.
Ezekiel: Wrong side? Man, isn't that a one-way street anymore? It used to be a one-way. (agitated) Look, man, I've got to get to work. I'm going to be late.
David: I think you need to focus, Ezekiel. This could be bad for you. (whacks the back end of the camel with the butt of his spear, knocks off a small lamp; the camel snorts) Look, Sarge -- the taillight's broken.
Ezekiel: Look, what is this? What's going on here, man? You really gonna roust me for a lousy walking stop? I know what this really is! I know what this really is!
Ezekiel's Wife: (takes his arm) Ezekiel, don't get like that. Cool down! You can't afford to --
Ezekiel: (shrugs off her hand) Look, man, we all know the only thing I'm guilty of is DWG -- driving while Galilean.
David: That's it! (grabs Ezekiel) Up against the camel! Feet back, hands on the hump. (begins searching Ezekiel once he's in position)
Ezekiel's Wife: (upset) I told you to calm down! I told you to take it easy!
Ezekiel: I didn't do nothin'! They just don't like us country people down here in the city. I didn't do nothin', man.
David: No? (straightens up, holding a small flask pulled out of a pocket in Ezekiel's robe; passes it over to Benjamin)
Benjamin: (takes the lid off, sniffs it, dabs a finger in, and touches it to his tongue) How long you been doing myrrh, son?
Ezekiel: I went to the dentist today, man! Got two teeth pulled out, and he gave me some myrrh to dull the pain. (opens his mouth widely) Want to see? (opens mouth again)
David: (backs away) Oh, man, you want to brush, or something? Something die in there?
Ezekiel's Wife: He really was at the dentist, officer. And he told him not to drive. I told him not to drive. But he wouldn't listen.
Benjamin: Dentist, eh? Well, until we get everything sorted out, you're going to have to go to lockup.
Ezekiel: Look, man, I'm already late for work. I've got to get the ovens fired up, or the bakers won't be able to do anything when they come in, in a couple of hours.
Benjamin: (shrugs) It wasn't my choice, it was yours.
(Ezekiel walks over to the line.)
Ezekiel's Wife: (sobs) I tried to get him to give me the reins, but he wouldn't do it. I tried!
Benjamin: You should have listened to your wife, Ezekiel. David, take him in -- and take this along. (hands him the flask)
David: (starts to put plastic cuffs on Ezekiel) Ezekiel, you are under arrest. You have the right ... What am I saying, it's 4 BC -- you don't have any rights. Just come with me.
Ezekiel: (as David hustles him offstage) I'm innocent! You can't do this to me! I'm going to be late for work!
Ezekiel's Wife: Ezekiel! I'll wait for you! Everything's going to be okay! (to Benjamin) What's going to happen to him?
Benjamin: He should be fine. He'll spend a night or two in the lockup, while we sort things out, but he should be fine unless King Herod takes a dislike to him. He's not related to the king, is he?
Ezekiel's Wife: Ezekiel? No, not even close.
Benjamin: Good, everything should be fine. You know, there's a saying that it's safer to be King Herod's pig than his relative. (pauses, looks at camera) Can you take that out?
Producer: All sorts of things end up on the cutting room floor, Benjamin. Just depends on how much interesting footage we get.
Benjamin: I'll try to keep the rest of the night interesting. (to Ezekiel's Wife) Are you okay, ma'am?
Ezekiel's Wife: I guess so. If I hurry, I can make it home before the kids wake up.
Benjamin: You left your children home -- alone?
Ezekiel's Wife: (shrugs) We had things to do. The oldest is almost five -- he can take care of things, if need be.
Benjamin: Then you'd best be getting along, ma'am. And drive safely. (touches his helmet in farewell)
(Benjamin, Producer, and Cameraman walk on as Ezekiel's Wife and camel move offstage.)
Benjamin: You know, in this job especially, you see so much wrong in the world. So many ways people screw up, so many ways people can make the wrong choices. (glances back over his shoulder) You look at someone, and you think to yourself, "How did they end up here?" Given a choice between right and wrong, how come we make the wrong choice so many times?
Producer: It's just the way people are, I guess. I see it, too.
Benjamin: I'm sure you do. I've been doing this since ... oh, since I was David's age, I suppose. And after all those years, I can't look back and say, "Well, things were bad then, but they've gotten better." People are doing the same things now they did then.
Producer: Is that why you stay in this? Are you trying to make things better?
Benjamin: I hope not -- otherwise I'd be very depressed by now. I'm in it because this is what I know how to do ... and I keep hoping that something will come along that will make it better. Or at least give us reason to hope. When that happens, I want to be there.
Melchior: (from offstage) Excuse me, sir?
(Benjamin, Producer, and Cameraman stop, turn toward Melchior's voice.)
Melchior: (hurries onstage, with Balthasar and Gaspar) Excuse me, sir?
Benjamin: What can I do for you?
Melchior: I'm afraid we might be lost, and I'm hoping you can put us back on the right path. We're looking for a king.
Benjamin: Looking for a king? Then I know you're lost. Jerusalem is that way, about four miles. That's where you'll find King Herod's court. (looks at them closely) You're not from around here, are you?
Balthasar: We have come here from far away. I am Balthasar, a Royal Astronomer from Babylon. Gaspar is a scholar of ancient texts from the library at Ur, and Melchior, here, is a philosopher from the University of Babel. And it's not King Herod or his court we seek.
Benjamin: I thought you were looking for the king?
Balthasar: We are. But King Herod is the old king -- we have traveled here looking for a new king, the one foretold by your own great prophets and proclaimed by the stars of heaven.
Benjamin: New king? I haven't heard of any births at the palace in Jerusalem.
Gaspar: The new king we seek will not come from the family of Herod. Your own prophets have foretold that he will come from the family of King David. It was Micah who said, "But you O Bethlehem Ephrathah, who are little among the clans of Judah, from you shall come forth for me one who is to be ruler of Israel."
Benjamin: (looks around, tries to point subtly to the camera, which has closed in on them) Look, Casper --
Gaspar: Gaspar.
Benjamin: Whatever. I don't know what the king is like back where you come from, but around here it's not too healthy to go talking about a new King of Israel that's going to replace King Herod. The man gets moody. You don't want to be on his bad side, even if you are from out of town.
Gaspar: We did not write the prophecy, my friend -- we have only read it, and understood it.
Benjamin: He's not real big on reading and understanding, either. He's more into people just sitting down and being quiet. You don't want to be called to his court, Jasper.
Gaspar: Gaspar.
Melchior: In truth, sir, we have already been to visit your King Herod. We thought it best to announce ourselves when we entered his kingdom. We wanted to extend a hand of friendship from the East and pay our respects.
Balthasar: That, and some of his spies spotted us when we crossed the border.
(Melchior shrugs agreement.)
Benjamin: And he let you come looking for this new king, after all you told him?
Melchior: He seemed very eager for us to find him. He even asked that we go back to Jerusalem to let him know where this new king is, once we have found him. He said he wants to see this new king for himself, to pay his respects.
Benjamin: I'll just bet he does. So how can I help you? I still say if you're looking for a king, you're in the wrong place. We are just overrun with people right now -- common people. Very common people.
Gaspar: And yet your prophets have told us the place, just as the stars have announced the date. He is here. Believe us.
Benjamin: Listen, Gaston --
Gaspar: Gaspar.
Benjamin: -- take another look at the stars. There's thousands of them up there -- it's easy enough to misread them, right?
Balthasar: Not really. We know it's now, we know he's here ... we just have to find him. Now, we thought we would start at the actual birthplace of your King David (unrolls a scroll, holds it out for Benjamin to look at), and just inside the gates we met this very helpful young man who happened to have a map of famous sites from King David's time --
Benjamin: (takes the scroll and looks at it, shakes his head) Let me guess. You bought this from him, right?
Melchior: He didn't want to sell it, but we really needed it. Then he was going to give it to us, but we talked him into accepting payment for it.
Balthasar: It seemed only fair. It was a rare and valuable artifact, passed down in this young man's family for many generations ... we're lucky it was still in one piece.
Benjamin: In one piece? You're lucky the ink was dry. Look, Gaspar --
Gaspar: (automatically) Casper. (does a double-take)
Benjamin: The man's a scam artist, a hustler. (hands the scroll back to Balthasar) How much did he let you force him to take?
Balthasar: (takes the scroll, looks at it dispiritedly) A hundred shekels.
Benjamin: Whew! He sure had you pegged. Sorry to say, you've been had, friends.
Balthasar: He seemed so honest. We trusted him.
Benjamin: Listen, when you've been doing this as long as I have, you learn not to put your trust in anyone, or anything. They'll only end up letting you down.
Melchior: That seems like a lonely way to live, Sergeant. I've found that in the end, trust and faith are the only things you can count on -- everything else will just let you down.
Benjamin: And here you are, 1,000 miles from home, with no place to lay your head, looking for a person no one knows.
Melchior: God never promised us an easy journey, Sergeant -- just an interesting one.
(As they're talking, Street Person 1 wanders onstage, counting money. He stops when he realizes who else is there, and Balthasar makes eye contact first.)
Balthasar: That's him! That's the man who sold us the map!
(All turn to face Street Person 1.)
Street Person 1: Hey, I don't know what you're -- Benjamin: You! Hold it right there!
Street Person 1: (realizing who Benjamin is) Oh, man!
(Street Person 1 takes off running. Benjamin takes off after him, with Cameraman and Producer close behind. The Magi watch for a moment, then follow.)
Scene Two ends
Scene Three: The Stable
(Scene Three opens on another street in Bethlehem. Benjamin, the Producer, Cameraman, and the Magi walk onstage from one direction, looking around.)
Balthasar: I don't see him. I think we've lost him.
Melchior: How can that be? How can a man disappear into thin air?
Benjamin: When you live on the wrong side of the law, you become very good at hiding from it. You might even convince yourself you'll never get caught -- but you can't hide from the law forever. Eventually, there's a reckoning.
(Passerby walks onstage carrying a basket.)
Gaspar: Excuse me, ma'am? Ma'am!
Passerby: (stops) What, me?
Gaspar: Yes, ma'am. Did you see a young man running down this street in the last couple of minutes?
Passerby: (looks at the Magi) I don't know. It's late, and I'm tired. My memory isn't very good, right now --
Balthasar: No? (takes out a handful of coins, holds them out to the woman) Perhaps this will help your memory.
Passerby: (pleased, takes the coins) Hmmm. Perhaps it will. Who were you looking for?
Balthasar: A man, running down this street within the last few minutes.
Passerby: About this tall (shows height with her hand), dark hair, brown robe, running like Old Man Herod was chasing after him?
Balthasar: That would be him. Where did he go?
Passerby: Don't know, didn't see him. But thanks for the donation. (walks off, laughing to herself)
Benjamin: (who had been watching skeptically) I could have told you that would happen.
Melchior: Then why didn't you?
Benjamin: Because you're free to make your own mistakes. Free will, you know. But, look, you guys are going to have to be a little smarter about how you do things, or people around here are going to talk about you for a long time -- about how not-very-bright you were.
Melchior: Then that's their right. Free will, and all. You can't live your life believing that everyone around you is a criminal.
Benjamin: Sure you can. And you'll end up being disappointed a lot less often. I --
(Benjamin is interrupted by the sound of sheep bleating. He pauses, looks around.)
Benjamin: Where is that noise coming from?
Balthasar: (points) Just outside the gate, I think.
Benjamin: Don't they know what time of the night this is?
(Shepherds walk onstage, followed by David and Ezekiel, still in cuffs. David and Ezekiel seem confused. The sheep continue to bleat occasionally.)
Shepherd 1: Excuse me, sir, but have you seen the new king?
Benjamin: New king? I think the guys you want to talk to are over there. (points to the Magi)
(The Shepherds walk past, David starts to walk by, also, but Benjamin catches him by the arm.)
Benjamin: David! What are you doing here? You should be in Jerusalem by now.
David: I -- I don't know. Something incredible just happened.
Benjamin: What are you --
Ezekiel: (animated) It was awesome, man! It was, like, totally ... awesome!
Benjamin: Thank you, Mister Dictionary. Totally. David, snap out of it! What happened out there?
(Benjamin, David, and Ezekiel stop talking out loud, although they still seem to be speaking. The Shepherds are now speaking to the Magi, at the other side of the stage.)
Shepherd 2: Have you seen the new king?
Balthasar: No, we haven't. How did you come to know about the new king?
Shepherd 3: Do you know where the new king might be? We must find him.
Balthasar: We may be able to help you. But how did you find out about him?
Shepherd 1: We were in the field, in the hills not far from here. My brother and I, there, were asleep. We had drawn lots, and our cousin (gestures toward Shepherd 3), lost, so he was the night watch.
Shepherd 2: I heard voices -- it was the other officer and his prisoner. I turned over and paid no mind. And then it happened.
Shepherd 3: A man -- or maybe it was a woman -- a person suddenly appeared in the sky, floating up there among the stars. His face glowed, and he said, "Don't be afraid! I bring you glad tidings of great joy!"
Shepherd 1: The light woke us up -- and the voice. It was like ... music.
Shepherd 2: And then he said, "A new king, a Savior, the Messiah, has been born to you this night in the city of Bethlehem."
Shepherd 3: "And you will know it is him because you will find him lying in a manger, wrapped in swaddling clothes."
(Shepherds and Magi continue to talk, but without sound. David, Benjamin, and Ezekiel begin speaking out loud.)
David: I let the water cup fall out of my hand -- I just stood there, like a tree, barely able to look at this creature, but not able to turn away. And suddenly it was like daytime out there -- like the sun had come to earth, and there were no shadows, no dark places in the entire world. Hundreds -- maybe thousands of these creatures appeared in the sky.
Benjamin: (doubtfully) Hundreds? Thousands?
David: Were you that much more comfortable with just one glowing being hovering in the air above us? I tell you, there were thousands of them all of a sudden, like the heavens had opened up.
Ezekiel: And they said, like, "Praise God! Glory to God! Glory to God in Heaven -- and, like, peace and good will on earth, to everybody." (shakes his head) It was awesome.
David: And then they were gone. The light faded, and I realized I couldn't see any of them. It was just the shepherds and us ... like before. Only not like before. Because everything is different now. Do you understand?
Benjamin: What are you talking about?
Ezekiel: The Messiah is here! The Messiah has been born tonight -- right here!
Benjamin: (to Ezekiel) Did you use some more myrrh? (to David) Did he get the bottle of myrrh?
Ezekiel: The only thing I got was the message, man. I got the message.
(Benjamin, David, and Ezekiel stop talking out loud and the Magi and Shepherds begin speaking out loud again.)
Gaspar: Are you sure this new king is the Messiah?
Shepherd 1: All I know is that the angels told us a new king has been born tonight, in the city of Bethlehem.
Shepherd 2: Just as it was foretold in the Torah.
Shepherd 3: He has come to deliver us all. Just as it was written by the prophets.
(The Magi walk to where Benjamin, David, and Ezekiel are standing. The Shepherds follow.)
Melchior: Did you hear what happened? Did they tell you?
Benjamin: They told me. I just don't know if I believe it. Face it, I've got a myrrh-head and a young officer who seems to be in shock. Not your best witnesses.
Melchior: But we have three shepherds -- and I'll bet you they told the same story.
Benjamin: No bet. Something happened out there -- I'm just not sure what.
Balthasar: There's an easy way to find out. They were told to look for a baby, lying in a manger, wrapped in swaddling clothes.
Benjamin: Right, and what kind of sense does that make? Why would anyone have a baby and put it out in a stable ... (slows down) ... in a manger ... Oh my gosh.
Balthasar: What?
Benjamin: The Bethlehem Inn. It doesn't make sense -- it doesn't make sense at all -- but I think I saw them earlier tonight. The father, at least.
Producer: At the inn! The young man who asked if they could stay in the stable!
Benjamin: And he said his wife was about to give birth! Come on, the stable is over this way!
(The entire entourage moves across the stage to the setting of the stable. Mary and Joseph are sitting by a manger, in which rests a baby. Everybody hangs back for a moment or two, and then Melchior steps forward hesitantly.)
Melchior: Is this the child that we were told about?
Joseph: I suspect that he is.
Balthasar: And what will you call him?
Mary: (reaches out to the manger, pats the baby) We will call him Jesus.
Gaspar: And he will also be called Marvelous, Counselor, Prince of Peace, King of kings --
Mary: All in good time. But for tonight, he is Jesus. Our son.
Shepherd 1: And our Savior. (kneels)
Shepherd 2: Let us worship him. (kneels)
Shepherd 3: The ancient promise is fulfilled. (kneels)
(David takes off Ezekiel's cuffs, and they both join the Shepherds, kneeling. Gaspar and Balthasar give gifts to Mary and Joseph. Melchior and Benjamin step back, to speak.)
Benjamin: This is the Messiah? How can that be? The Messiah is supposed to be a great leader.
Melchior: Being born in humble circumstances doesn't mean that a child can't grow up to be someone truly remarkable -- anymore than being born in a royal court means that a child will grow up to be a leader worthy of respect. It's not how you're born, or who you are born to -- it's what you do with the life you are given that tells the measure of a man.
Benjamin: And that man -- that child -- in there?
Melchior: Is destined for great things. Great and terrible things. He is here to set us free.
Benjamin: From the Romans? (looks over his shoulder at the camera, then back to Melchior then lowers his voice) From King Herod?
Melchior: From ourselves. From the evil that we do. One day, that child in there will be a man, and that man will take on the sins of the world, so the rest of us can be free of the burden of what we have done.
Benjamin: But how?
Melchior: All in good time, son, all in good time. For today, let's just celebrate the fact that he is finally here. And tomorrow ... tomorrow is another day.
Benjamin: I told someone that I was waiting for things to get better, waiting for hope. I just never expected to find it ... not here, not tonight.
Melchior: The best gifts are always the ones we weren't expecting. (puts an arm around Benjamin's shoulder) Let's go in and see the future.
Benjamin: You know -- I always wondered what the future would look like.
Melchior: The future has the face of a child, Benjamin, it always does. Just like hope.
The End
