Cost Analysis
Drama
Lectionary Scenes
56 Vignettes For Cycle C
Theme
Jesus asks so much of us, but he gave so much for us.
Summary
There is a special in the K-Mart cross department. Jesus is there offering crosses but the cost is very high.
Playing Time
3 minutes
Setting
K-Mart
Props
A portable cart with revolving blue light; crosses, underwear
Costumes
Contemporary, casual; Jesus -- robe
Time
The present
Cast
ANNOUNCER
JESUS
MADGE -- a shopper
HERMIE -- her friend
ANNOUNCER: Attention, K-Mart shoppers, there is a blue light special in the cross department. If you will make your way to the department where you see the flashing light, you will see the bargains that await you there.
MADGE: Quick, Hermie, I'm going to get one of those crosses. (HANDING HERMIE THE BARGAINS SHE HAD IN HER HAND) Here, pay for these. I'll be back. I simply must have one of those beautiful crosses.
HERMIE: (HANDING THE THINGS BACK TO MADGE)
Forget you, Madge. I'm going to the cross department to get myself a cross, too. Pay for these things yourself. (HURRYING TO THE BLUE LIGHT)
JESUS: And, now, this morning, we're offering this cross. (HOLDING THE LARGE CROSS)
HERMIE: I'll take it.
JESUS: You will? I haven't even told you the cost, yet.
HERMIE: Never mind the spiel, buster. Give me the cross.
JESUS: You'd better wait a minute. Let me explain a few things about this cross.
HERMIE: Money is no object. I want that cross! I don't want to be the only one who doesn't have one. Gimme it! (MAKING A GRAB FOR IT)
JESUS: (EVADING HER LUNGE) Watch out! You could hurt yourself.
HERMIE: You watch out!
MADGE: (APPROACHING BLUE LIGHT) Wouldn't you know it. My best friend and shopping comrade buying the cross I wanted. Well, I never.
HERMIE: You certainly have. You've bought lots of things that you wanted. You had no use for them, but you bought them just to spite me. Now I'm buying this cross. Go on back to the underwear.
JESUS: No need to quarrel. You both may purchase a cross. But I suggest you allow me to inform you of the cost.
MADGE: Money is not important to me, laddie. A bargain is what's important.
HERMIE: You said a mouthful, Madge, baby. Now, young man, if you'll just get out of the way and let some experts handle this. (THEY BOTH GRAB THE CROSS)
JESUS: I said, don't get grabby. Now, listen to me for a second.
HERMIE: Pretty slick, isn't he? Okay, shoot. But make it short.
JESUS: Fair enough. This cross is going to cost you everything that you love ...
MADGE: Inflation hits K-Mart!
HERMIE: He's joshin'.
JESUS: No, I'm Jesus. All who want to follow me must love their enemies. Do good to those who hate them. And lend to others without expecting them to repay, otherwise they cannot be my disciples.
MADGE: Quite a long list, honey.
JESUS: Do you still want a cross?
HERMIE: Maybe it's not such a bargain. Do I have to give up my Thursday evening bridge club?
JESUS: No. The point is you must love me more. And do what I say.
MADGE: Kinda stuck on yourself, aren't you? Love my enemies? C'mon. Get serious.
HERMIE: God, just who do you think you are?
JESUS: I know who I am. That's why I can make this offer.
HERMIE: Wait until my minister hears about this.
JESUS: That's a good idea -- spread the word.
HERMIE: I think I'll pass on this cross deal.
JESUS: You're sure?
HERMIE: Yeah. I should have stayed in underwear. I understand underwear. And it doesn't cost an arm and a leg. (HERMIE EXITS)
JESUS: At least she understands. Now, how about you? Are you still in a buying mood?
MADGE: Me, uh, yeah, I guess so. What do I have to do?
JESUS: Are you sure you want to follow me?
MADGE: I get a cross, right?
JESUS: Right.
MADGE: That's it?
JESUS: No, there's more. You get a chance to be a servant.
MADGE: This is a bargain?
JESUS: And you can talk to God.
MADGE: Oh, yeah? Now you're talkin'.
JESUS: You're catching on.
MADGE: So, what did God ever do for me?
JESUS: I think you are really interested. Come to my office. And we'll sign the contract. Let me tell you what I did for you. (THEY BEGIN TO EXIT. JESUS PUSHES CART)
MADGE: You? You've done something for me? I thought I was going to pay the price.
JESUS: You can give your life to me because I already gave my life for you.
MADGE: Oh, yeah? Tell me more.
JESUS: Okay, I will. (HE TURNS TO TALK TO CONGREGATION) Anyone else want to buy a cross? Follow me. (THEY EXIT)
Jesus asks so much of us, but he gave so much for us.
Summary
There is a special in the K-Mart cross department. Jesus is there offering crosses but the cost is very high.
Playing Time
3 minutes
Setting
K-Mart
Props
A portable cart with revolving blue light; crosses, underwear
Costumes
Contemporary, casual; Jesus -- robe
Time
The present
Cast
ANNOUNCER
JESUS
MADGE -- a shopper
HERMIE -- her friend
ANNOUNCER: Attention, K-Mart shoppers, there is a blue light special in the cross department. If you will make your way to the department where you see the flashing light, you will see the bargains that await you there.
MADGE: Quick, Hermie, I'm going to get one of those crosses. (HANDING HERMIE THE BARGAINS SHE HAD IN HER HAND) Here, pay for these. I'll be back. I simply must have one of those beautiful crosses.
HERMIE: (HANDING THE THINGS BACK TO MADGE)
Forget you, Madge. I'm going to the cross department to get myself a cross, too. Pay for these things yourself. (HURRYING TO THE BLUE LIGHT)
JESUS: And, now, this morning, we're offering this cross. (HOLDING THE LARGE CROSS)
HERMIE: I'll take it.
JESUS: You will? I haven't even told you the cost, yet.
HERMIE: Never mind the spiel, buster. Give me the cross.
JESUS: You'd better wait a minute. Let me explain a few things about this cross.
HERMIE: Money is no object. I want that cross! I don't want to be the only one who doesn't have one. Gimme it! (MAKING A GRAB FOR IT)
JESUS: (EVADING HER LUNGE) Watch out! You could hurt yourself.
HERMIE: You watch out!
MADGE: (APPROACHING BLUE LIGHT) Wouldn't you know it. My best friend and shopping comrade buying the cross I wanted. Well, I never.
HERMIE: You certainly have. You've bought lots of things that you wanted. You had no use for them, but you bought them just to spite me. Now I'm buying this cross. Go on back to the underwear.
JESUS: No need to quarrel. You both may purchase a cross. But I suggest you allow me to inform you of the cost.
MADGE: Money is not important to me, laddie. A bargain is what's important.
HERMIE: You said a mouthful, Madge, baby. Now, young man, if you'll just get out of the way and let some experts handle this. (THEY BOTH GRAB THE CROSS)
JESUS: I said, don't get grabby. Now, listen to me for a second.
HERMIE: Pretty slick, isn't he? Okay, shoot. But make it short.
JESUS: Fair enough. This cross is going to cost you everything that you love ...
MADGE: Inflation hits K-Mart!
HERMIE: He's joshin'.
JESUS: No, I'm Jesus. All who want to follow me must love their enemies. Do good to those who hate them. And lend to others without expecting them to repay, otherwise they cannot be my disciples.
MADGE: Quite a long list, honey.
JESUS: Do you still want a cross?
HERMIE: Maybe it's not such a bargain. Do I have to give up my Thursday evening bridge club?
JESUS: No. The point is you must love me more. And do what I say.
MADGE: Kinda stuck on yourself, aren't you? Love my enemies? C'mon. Get serious.
HERMIE: God, just who do you think you are?
JESUS: I know who I am. That's why I can make this offer.
HERMIE: Wait until my minister hears about this.
JESUS: That's a good idea -- spread the word.
HERMIE: I think I'll pass on this cross deal.
JESUS: You're sure?
HERMIE: Yeah. I should have stayed in underwear. I understand underwear. And it doesn't cost an arm and a leg. (HERMIE EXITS)
JESUS: At least she understands. Now, how about you? Are you still in a buying mood?
MADGE: Me, uh, yeah, I guess so. What do I have to do?
JESUS: Are you sure you want to follow me?
MADGE: I get a cross, right?
JESUS: Right.
MADGE: That's it?
JESUS: No, there's more. You get a chance to be a servant.
MADGE: This is a bargain?
JESUS: And you can talk to God.
MADGE: Oh, yeah? Now you're talkin'.
JESUS: You're catching on.
MADGE: So, what did God ever do for me?
JESUS: I think you are really interested. Come to my office. And we'll sign the contract. Let me tell you what I did for you. (THEY BEGIN TO EXIT. JESUS PUSHES CART)
MADGE: You? You've done something for me? I thought I was going to pay the price.
JESUS: You can give your life to me because I already gave my life for you.
MADGE: Oh, yeah? Tell me more.
JESUS: Okay, I will. (HE TURNS TO TALK TO CONGREGATION) Anyone else want to buy a cross? Follow me. (THEY EXIT)
