SermonStudio

It's an old but usable one which tells of the old man who is
dying and the preacher asks, "Have you made peace with God by
renouncing the devil and all his works?"
The man answers, "I have made peace with God but I am in no
position to antagonize anybody."
Lynn H. Rupert

The missionary saw the Chinese strewing rice over the graves
of his ancestors and said to him, "When do you expect your
departed ones to come back and eat the rice?"
The Chinese man replied, "At about the same time your
ancestors come back and smell the flowers."
Heard in the 1950s

A man picked up the morning paper and read his obituary in the
section on death notices. He went down to the newspaper

34

office asking to see who had written it. He was shown a cub
reporter to whom he said, "I am not dead. You can see I am very
much alive. Now I demand you write a retraction for tomorrow's
paper."
The reporter replied, "I never retract a story. But I tell you
what I will do: I'll put you in the birth column and give you a
fresh start."
H.R.