The Goal of Marriage
Sermon
Together Till Death Us Do Part
(Name) and (name), what is happening today may not be taking place exactly as you had envisioned. But believe me, your days of reverie are over. Reality is here. Today you become man and wife. What a privilege it is, and what a joy we feel, to share this special and sacred hour with you.
Since this is reality and not some romantic fantasy, we must speak to you about life as it is. There's a telling passage in Shaw's play, "Back to Methuselah," which can get us started. Adam and Eve are talking to the serpent. Adam says, "I will live a thousand years and then I will endure no more. I will die and take my rest, and I will love Eve all that time, and no other woman."
Eve says, "If Adam keeps his vow, I will love no other man until I die."
The serpent says, "You have just invented marriage. And what he will be to you and not to any other woman is husband. And what you will be to him and not to any other man is wife."
Adam says, "Husband and wife."
Eve says, "Wife and husband."
And the serpent laughs, because he knows that the trouble has already started.
Well, the troubles of men and women have multiplied since then, and most of the problems are far more serious than who gets top billing on the marquee of marriage. In truth, because of our self-centeredness every one of us fails to live up to God's ideals for marriage.
That's why even back in Jesus' day (a time, in some ways, not so different from our own) problems in marriage and easy divorce were commonplace. In fact, Jewish law permitted a man to divorce his wife very easily. A man, for instance, could justifiably get rid of his wife if she burned his food or put too much salt on it. He could divorce her if she went out in public without covering her head, talked with men in the streets, or talked back to her in-laws. It was against this background that Jesus spoke his immortal words, saying the only reason the Law permitted divorce was because men were, literally, slow learners. Matthew 19:8 He continues: "Haven't you read the scripture that says that in the beginning the Creator made people male and female? [His design was that] the two will become one. So they are no longer two, but one. Man must not separate, then, what God has joined together." Matthew 19:4-6 (Good News Version) When God instituted marriage he intended male and female to be one. So they are no longer to be regarded as two, but one. Therefore let no one separate what God has united.
Jesus reminded the people that God designed marriage to be a union of body, mind, and spirit, so the marriage partners become bonded into a single organism. This is not only a matter of sensual, romantic love, which in itself can be very beautiful. It is not just a matter of friendship and companionship which are, of course, essential. It is a matter of seeing the other as an extension of one's self - desiring for our mate all that we want for ourself. It means, therefore, to be willing to work - to do what is necessary - to bring happiness to our spouse.
In very practical terms it means, ________ and ________ you are going to have to live out your love and your commitments to each other in very mundane, everyday kinds of ways. You're going to have to be faithful to each other in all areas of your life. If your relationship is going to grow you will need to be open and honest with each other, willing to admit mistakes, and always ready to forgive. Indeed, as theologian, Gibson Winter, says, "Forgiveness is the daily bread of married life." If your marriage is going to survive, you will need to be patient and compassionate with each other. In other words - and it should be obvious by now - it's going to take dedication, devotion, and a lot of hard work, but it can be a labor of love.
It seems many couples work hard to foster a relationship during courtship, but once they become married they tend to take that relationship for granted. Perhaps that is why the Beatles' song of years ago is still relevant. The words ask, "Will you still need me; will you still feed me; when I'm sixty-four?" It's an important question; a lot of the fears people have regarding marriage revolve around questions like that.
That's why Jesus' words are so important, so necessary for us (for you) to take to heart. God intends that you should be able to relax in your love and in the commitments of your vows, and so be able to celebrate your marriage with unconditional enthusiasm. It is in the climate of total commitment showered liberally with unselfish love that you truly become one, as Jesus says, and your marriage becomes an exquisitely beautiful thing which grows more priceless as the years pass.
_______ and ________, that's the hope we have for you today. We know it's your desire as well, and it's a worthy goal. May you stay close to our Lord, that he might bless you and fill you with his power and grace, that the hopes and dreams of all of us for your marriage can become a wonderful reality, now and forever. Amen
Since this is reality and not some romantic fantasy, we must speak to you about life as it is. There's a telling passage in Shaw's play, "Back to Methuselah," which can get us started. Adam and Eve are talking to the serpent. Adam says, "I will live a thousand years and then I will endure no more. I will die and take my rest, and I will love Eve all that time, and no other woman."
Eve says, "If Adam keeps his vow, I will love no other man until I die."
The serpent says, "You have just invented marriage. And what he will be to you and not to any other woman is husband. And what you will be to him and not to any other man is wife."
Adam says, "Husband and wife."
Eve says, "Wife and husband."
And the serpent laughs, because he knows that the trouble has already started.
Well, the troubles of men and women have multiplied since then, and most of the problems are far more serious than who gets top billing on the marquee of marriage. In truth, because of our self-centeredness every one of us fails to live up to God's ideals for marriage.
That's why even back in Jesus' day (a time, in some ways, not so different from our own) problems in marriage and easy divorce were commonplace. In fact, Jewish law permitted a man to divorce his wife very easily. A man, for instance, could justifiably get rid of his wife if she burned his food or put too much salt on it. He could divorce her if she went out in public without covering her head, talked with men in the streets, or talked back to her in-laws. It was against this background that Jesus spoke his immortal words, saying the only reason the Law permitted divorce was because men were, literally, slow learners. Matthew 19:8 He continues: "Haven't you read the scripture that says that in the beginning the Creator made people male and female? [His design was that] the two will become one. So they are no longer two, but one. Man must not separate, then, what God has joined together." Matthew 19:4-6 (Good News Version) When God instituted marriage he intended male and female to be one. So they are no longer to be regarded as two, but one. Therefore let no one separate what God has united.
Jesus reminded the people that God designed marriage to be a union of body, mind, and spirit, so the marriage partners become bonded into a single organism. This is not only a matter of sensual, romantic love, which in itself can be very beautiful. It is not just a matter of friendship and companionship which are, of course, essential. It is a matter of seeing the other as an extension of one's self - desiring for our mate all that we want for ourself. It means, therefore, to be willing to work - to do what is necessary - to bring happiness to our spouse.
In very practical terms it means, ________ and ________ you are going to have to live out your love and your commitments to each other in very mundane, everyday kinds of ways. You're going to have to be faithful to each other in all areas of your life. If your relationship is going to grow you will need to be open and honest with each other, willing to admit mistakes, and always ready to forgive. Indeed, as theologian, Gibson Winter, says, "Forgiveness is the daily bread of married life." If your marriage is going to survive, you will need to be patient and compassionate with each other. In other words - and it should be obvious by now - it's going to take dedication, devotion, and a lot of hard work, but it can be a labor of love.
It seems many couples work hard to foster a relationship during courtship, but once they become married they tend to take that relationship for granted. Perhaps that is why the Beatles' song of years ago is still relevant. The words ask, "Will you still need me; will you still feed me; when I'm sixty-four?" It's an important question; a lot of the fears people have regarding marriage revolve around questions like that.
That's why Jesus' words are so important, so necessary for us (for you) to take to heart. God intends that you should be able to relax in your love and in the commitments of your vows, and so be able to celebrate your marriage with unconditional enthusiasm. It is in the climate of total commitment showered liberally with unselfish love that you truly become one, as Jesus says, and your marriage becomes an exquisitely beautiful thing which grows more priceless as the years pass.
_______ and ________, that's the hope we have for you today. We know it's your desire as well, and it's a worthy goal. May you stay close to our Lord, that he might bless you and fill you with his power and grace, that the hopes and dreams of all of us for your marriage can become a wonderful reality, now and forever. Amen
