The Grocery Store
Drama
Sermon Warm-ups
21 Lead-in Skits
(The lights come up on a woman, sitting on the couch talking on the telephone)
Oh, I agree. How typical. Wait till I tell you what happened to me the other day at the grocery store. You know, the one that's up the street, on the corner. Ohhh, what's the name? (Pauses as if listening to a response) Yeah, that's the one. Anyway, I was in such a hurry that day, so I ran in and picked up just a few items. I get in the express lane, you know, twelve items or less. And the person who is not directly in front of me, but the next person, has a cart full. I mean, there had to be at least twenty items, basically double the number. Talk about a counting problem. I really wish people would be a little more considerate of other people; nowadays all they think about is themselves. I mean I was buying some milk, bread, butter, and several bunches of bananas, but the bananas are all one thing, so that just counts as one item. Right? ... (Pauses as she waits for an answer)
The next thing I know, she is arguing with the clerk about a coupon. Something about not having the right size item. I mean, please, doesn't the store have a responsibility to tell that lady to get in a regular checkout line instead of the rest of us being forced to wait forever ... (Pauses) ... I know, I know, but wait, I haven't even gotten to the best part of the story. Guess who it was? Oh, you'll never guess ... no ... guess again ... it was Mrs. Crispin. You know, the lady at church who is so pious, she scrunches up her face ... (Disgustedly) No, she did not get that way from drinking prune juice ... She got that way from always being so proper, and doing everything correctly. And there she is at the grocery store lying, sinning no less, about the number of items she has. And for what? So she can go through the express lane. I mean, let me tell you, when I sin I want to get a little more out of it than going through the express lane. Do you think she put that in her prayers at night? "Dear God, please forgive me for lying, so I could go through the express lane."
Nooo! I didn't know her son was still at home! (Laughs) Is he a typical mama's boy? Oh really, when did the car accident ... When he was twelve years old ... that's terrible ... So, how long has she paid someone to watch her son, while she runs errands? I know what you are trying to say, that maybe she had a good reason for being in a hurry. But whether you have a good excuse or not, a lie is still a lie, isn't it? I needed to get home and fix dinner. Harold just throws a fit if I don't have his supper ready for him when he gets home.
Did I ever tell you about Doris? No? Well, let me tell you --
(Blackout)
Oh, I agree. How typical. Wait till I tell you what happened to me the other day at the grocery store. You know, the one that's up the street, on the corner. Ohhh, what's the name? (Pauses as if listening to a response) Yeah, that's the one. Anyway, I was in such a hurry that day, so I ran in and picked up just a few items. I get in the express lane, you know, twelve items or less. And the person who is not directly in front of me, but the next person, has a cart full. I mean, there had to be at least twenty items, basically double the number. Talk about a counting problem. I really wish people would be a little more considerate of other people; nowadays all they think about is themselves. I mean I was buying some milk, bread, butter, and several bunches of bananas, but the bananas are all one thing, so that just counts as one item. Right? ... (Pauses as she waits for an answer)
The next thing I know, she is arguing with the clerk about a coupon. Something about not having the right size item. I mean, please, doesn't the store have a responsibility to tell that lady to get in a regular checkout line instead of the rest of us being forced to wait forever ... (Pauses) ... I know, I know, but wait, I haven't even gotten to the best part of the story. Guess who it was? Oh, you'll never guess ... no ... guess again ... it was Mrs. Crispin. You know, the lady at church who is so pious, she scrunches up her face ... (Disgustedly) No, she did not get that way from drinking prune juice ... She got that way from always being so proper, and doing everything correctly. And there she is at the grocery store lying, sinning no less, about the number of items she has. And for what? So she can go through the express lane. I mean, let me tell you, when I sin I want to get a little more out of it than going through the express lane. Do you think she put that in her prayers at night? "Dear God, please forgive me for lying, so I could go through the express lane."
Nooo! I didn't know her son was still at home! (Laughs) Is he a typical mama's boy? Oh really, when did the car accident ... When he was twelve years old ... that's terrible ... So, how long has she paid someone to watch her son, while she runs errands? I know what you are trying to say, that maybe she had a good reason for being in a hurry. But whether you have a good excuse or not, a lie is still a lie, isn't it? I needed to get home and fix dinner. Harold just throws a fit if I don't have his supper ready for him when he gets home.
Did I ever tell you about Doris? No? Well, let me tell you --
(Blackout)
