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When I was growing up, in our large family which performed all over Europe and the U.S., I was the rebellious one. I was the one who decided I no longer wanted to sing with the family, and eventually I ran away, causing much grief and pain for everyone. It seems to me that my brain was in total darkness. Once, when it seemed that I had sunk as low as I could sink, I heard an evangelist on a radio program talk about repeating a sinner's prayer to confess to God our need for forgiveness. I said that prayer, asking God's forgiveness by the Blood of the Lamb, and it changed my life. But my mother had also been praying for me, as she prayed for all her children. She was a powerful prayer, and by her faith in God, I came back home safely. Now, more and more, I can see the past in the light of God, and I realize that he was there all the time. He really is the Good Shepherd.

Agathe, my oldest sister, had also had a "heavenly experience," and she enthusiastically invited my other sisters and I to a ten-day retreat at an Ann Arbor, Michigan, university. The four of us, Hedwig, Maria, Agathe, and I, all went there. Living in different houses, we would get together for meetings and services. One day, I got tired of all the meetings. They didn't reach my spirit, so I decided to take a walk "to anywhere out in the world."

It was a lovely, warm summer day. I remember walking through a quiet suburb, under sycamore trees, when I heard a booming voice say, "No Man's Land." It came from nowhere. I could pinpoint no radio, no car with a horn blaring out at me. Then, in awe, I decided it must have been God calling to me. The rebellion in my soul made me pretend I had not heard it, and on I went, only to find myself at a dead end, with an empty house on the right side.

That made me think twice about my "running away," because the message that suddenly came to me was: If you keep on, you will be in "no man's land" and become like an abandoned house. Reluctantly, I turned back and found the rest of the members of the retreat in the gym, praising God in tongues, with lifted hands.

It was such a beautiful and peaceful sight! As I had entered upstairs, I could see people from above with lifted hands. Also, people were coming in across the gym, and a scripture popped into my head: "I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than live in the tents of wickedness." That was the first time this had happened, and I later found out the scripture was from Psalm 84:10. As I seek the Lord, my spirit is quickened by his influence.

Isn't God wonderful to intervene in the choices we make in our lives? He brings us out of darkness into his marvelous light. Those are the only words I can use to express my thanks -- my spirit was really in deep darkness, like a pit in the ground that I couldn't get out of myself. God still lifts me out of the pits that I stumble into. He is the Good Shepherd who watches his sheep! Trust in him. He is worthy! Jesus loves you and me!


Editor's Note: Rosmarie von Trapp is the daughter of Captain George and Maria von Trapp whose story was told in the movie, The Sound of Music. Rosmarie was the first of three children born to the von Trapps after their marriage. The widowed captain already had seven children when Maria came to be the family governess. Rosmarie and her nine brothers and sisters made up the von Trapp Family singers who became famous after their triumphant flight from Nazi-controlled Austria in the 1930s.