The Heifer That Will Change The World!
Sermon
Sermons On The Second Readings
Series II, Cycle A
Object:
The Reverend Clyde Lott is a national champion cattle judge and livestock showman. He's also a preacher recognized by the National Pentecostal Assemblies of Jesus Christ. Reverend Lott is uniquely qualified, therefore, to breed "the heifer that will change the world," the heifer that will fulfill God's apocalyptic promise of purity for his people.
We're talking holy cow, here.
Reverend Lott is anxiously waiting for the rapture of the church, because he doesn't want to be left behind. He believes the tribulation is going to get ugly. After Reverend Lott is safely raptured up to heaven, he believes the antichrist will show up and set up shop in the newly built third temple in Jerusalem and will begin persuading the world to worship him as the Messiah. (Personally, I don't think the antichrist has any better chance competing against school sports, weekends up north, and the Packers, than the real Messiah.) Then, after seven years, the real Messiah will show up, pulverize the third temple, skewer all the antichrist's followers, bind the antichrist, and toss him in the bottomless pit burning with sulfurous fire for 1,000 years (or until tender). After all that, the real Messiah will conduct judgment day to see who gets to enjoy his 1,000-year reign of peace.
Rabbi Chaim Richman's take on the third temple is an utterly different one. You can read about it in his book, The Mystery of the Red Heifer: Divine Promise of Purity (available online at TempleMount.org for $10.00 plus $2.50 shipping and handling). Rabbi Richman believes as fervently as Reverend Lott that a third temple must be built. He believes the present form of the Jewish religion is not an adequate way to connect to God. He believes a third temple must be rebuilt, because about a third of the 613 commandments in the Torah can only be obeyed by re-establishing the animal sacrifice system in a third temple. He believes achieving this complete obedience to the Torah is a necessary preparation for the return of the real Messiah, who will find the third temple a fitting setting from which to conduct judgment day to see who gets to enjoy his everlasting reign of peace.
Fundamentalist Christians like Reverend Lott believe the third temple will be the home of the fake Messiah; Jews like Rabbi Richman believe the third temple will be the home of the real Messiah.
Despite the radical disparity of their respective apocalyptic theologies, Reverend Lott and Rabbi Richman have embarked upon a solemn, sacred cooperative venture that they both believe is necessary for the Divine Promise of Purity for the Jewish people and for the final countdown to commence: the breeding of a red heifer.
Since the beginning of this venture, Reverend Lott has felt the Lord has been guiding him to become the one man on earth who could breed a perfect red heifer for people like Rabbi Richman who have been waiting for a red heifer and who know exactly what God wants them to do with one once they have one. Reverend Lott discovered the unique place the red heifer has in preparing the world for the Messiah while he was faithfully engaged in a Bible study of the book of Numbers, chapter 19 (Numbers 19:1-10). Here the scriptures describe the process by which a three-year-old, pure red heifer must be sacrificed and burned along with juniper, hyssop, and a scarlet red thread. The ashes of the heifer must then be used to purify the people of Israel, so they can walk again on the temple mount, begin to build the third temple, and finally, serve in it again. Reverend Lott, being a national champion judge of cattle and a livestock showman, knew all about red heifers. What he didn't know was whether or not there were any Jews looking for one.
Reverend Lott sought the help of the director of international trade for the Mississippi Department of Agriculture and Commerce, who in turn sought the help of the attaché at the American Embassy in Athens who oversees agricultural exports to the Middle East who, for his part, sought help from the State Department, who informed officials at the American Embassy in Tel Aviv, who finally referred the matter to the Israeli Ministry of Religious Affairs. In this obviously miraculous manner, it took ninety days for the Reverend Lott to be put in touch with Rabbi Richman.
But there were a lot more miracles and signs.
The rabbis who worked with Rabbi Richman at his Temple Institute believed it was a good sign that Reverend Lott's last name was Lott, because the Lot in the Bible was also a cattle farmer. As negotiations ensued, the price of one of the red heifers Reverend Lott proposed delivering was mistranslated. When the mistake was discovered, Reverend Lott assured the rabbis that the cost of a red heifer was $2,000 and not $20,000, and he added that he certainly didn't want to take advantage of them as they sought to turn back to God. Several rabbis were astounded that these were the exact words said in a 2,500-year-old scriptural story by a jeweler who had been asked to replace a jewel on the breastplate of the high priest. The jeweler offered to replace the jewel for 100 shekels, but added that he couldn't do it right away because he was too busy. The priests interpreted his reluctance as a bargaining ploy, so they offered him as much as they could: 1,000 shekels. Spurned even after their generous offer, the priests stormed off. The father of the jeweler, upon having learned that his son had turned the priests away, rushed after them with just the jewel they needed. Although the priests tried to pay him the 1,000 shekels, he took only the amount his son originally asked for saying, "I am not trying to take advantage of you as you are seeking to turn to God." Even though a red heifer was just the kind of cow they needed, Reverend Lott is an honest man and was not seeking to take advantage of the rabbis. Reverend Lott, Rabbi Richman, and his associates interpreted the recapitulation of this obscure story as another miraculous sign.
As was the birth in 1996 of the tenth red heifer in Israel. The foundation for the end of the world has now been laid through the efforts of Reverend Lott and Rabbi Richman, not to mention the Holy Heifer of Haifa. Her name is Melody.
One small problem.
In 685 CE, to honor the place they believed Mohammed ascended into heaven on a winged horse, Moslems built the Noble Sanctuary (including the Dome of the Rock and the Al-Aqsa mosque) in precisely the place where many of the red-heifer-breeding Jews and Christians agree the third temple must be built.
Not to worry, say the red-heifer-breeding Jews and Christians. Because the book of Revelation assumes there will be a temple in Jerusalem during the tribulation, red-heifer-breeding Christians believe that those buildings so sacred to Moslems will all somehow be simply swept away. They believe that somehow complete political control of all that real estate will pass into the hands of Israel, and the third temple will be built. The Reverend Jerry Falwell believes that the development of CNN was foretold by the book of Revelation, so apparently anything is possible. Maybe red-heifer-breeding Jewish and Christian terrorists will get together and find a way to penetrate the tight security around the Noble Sanctuary and blow the whole complex up to make way for the Divine Promise of Purity for the Jewish people.
It's already been tried.
Or maybe it will transpire as an Israeli official suggested in an interview quoted by Hal Lindsey for his best-selling book The Late Great Planet Earth: maybe an earthquake will do the trick. The earthquake that shook the area in 2004 is just one in a long line of earthquakes occurring along "the Great Rift Valley which runs for 3,000 miles between Syria and Mozambique and passes through the Dead Sea, below Jerusalem's eastern hills." Because the Noble Sanctuary is built on layers upon layers of unstable debris from thousands of years of ruins, scientists predict the next major quake will be particularly devastating. No amount of tuck-pointing appears to be standing in the way of the apocalypse now.
But before you pack your rapture bags (no liquids or gels, please), there's some bad news. Or good news, depending on your point of view.
Melody grew a white tail. According to some rabbinical authorities, even two white hairs are enough to disqualify any heifer aspiring to be the heifer that will change the world.
Lucky for Melody. She was only going to get burned anyway. Now she and an unnamed bull are cavorting in a high security pasture in an undisclosed location attempting to get the apocalyptic ball rolling again. The code name for this covert CIA operation is "Temple Mount."
Okay. I admit it. I made up the CIA part. But that's the only thing I made up for this sermon.
What then shall we say about these things? Who is right about the third temple? Reverend Lott? Rabbi Richman? Are the red heifer and the third temple really necessary for the Divine Promise of Purity for the Jewish people?
In today's lesson, the apostle Paul addresses the issue of the Divine Promise of Purity for his people. You'll notice that he doesn't discuss red heifers or the building of the third temple. Nor does he seem to be aware of the essential role that CNN must play in fulfilling apocalyptic prophecy. Even though the apostle Paul believed that some of his people's hearts were "hardened" (Romans 11:7) toward Jesus and were "disobedient" (Romans 11:30-32) in their "unbelief" (Romans 11:20), he also believed that they had not "stumbled so as to fall" (Romans 11:11), but that "there is a remnant, chosen by grace" (Romans 11:5) whom "God has the power to graft ... in again" (Romans 11:23). The apostle Paul uses the same grafting image to describe how the Gentiles became Christians. He treats "the elect" among his people no differently than he treats those who have been "elected" to be Christians (Romans 8:33; 9:11; 11:7; 11:17-23). The disobedience that can lead any of the elect astray has one divine remedy for the apostle Paul -- not the ashes of a red heifer -- not the re-establishment of animal sacrifice in a third temple -- only loving gospel mercy. The apostle Paul wrote:
God has imprisoned all in disobedience so that he may be merciful to all.
-- Romans 11:32God has imprisoned all in disobedience so that he may be merciful to all.
-- Romans 11:32
Throughout chapter 11 of his letter to the Romans, the apostle Paul repeatedly repudiates any manner by which anyone proposes that the Divine Promise of Purity is accomplished by anything other the loving gospel mercy of God. I don't know about you, but when it comes to my sins and failures and doubts and yes, even when it comes to the very end of the world, I'm hanging on to the loving gospel mercy of God.
Not some smelly, red cow. Amen.
____________
1. Information for this sermon was found in Lawrence Wright's, "Letter from Jerusalem Forcing the End," The New Yorker, July 20, 1998, http://www.lawrencewright.com/art-jerusalem.html.
We're talking holy cow, here.
Reverend Lott is anxiously waiting for the rapture of the church, because he doesn't want to be left behind. He believes the tribulation is going to get ugly. After Reverend Lott is safely raptured up to heaven, he believes the antichrist will show up and set up shop in the newly built third temple in Jerusalem and will begin persuading the world to worship him as the Messiah. (Personally, I don't think the antichrist has any better chance competing against school sports, weekends up north, and the Packers, than the real Messiah.) Then, after seven years, the real Messiah will show up, pulverize the third temple, skewer all the antichrist's followers, bind the antichrist, and toss him in the bottomless pit burning with sulfurous fire for 1,000 years (or until tender). After all that, the real Messiah will conduct judgment day to see who gets to enjoy his 1,000-year reign of peace.
Rabbi Chaim Richman's take on the third temple is an utterly different one. You can read about it in his book, The Mystery of the Red Heifer: Divine Promise of Purity (available online at TempleMount.org for $10.00 plus $2.50 shipping and handling). Rabbi Richman believes as fervently as Reverend Lott that a third temple must be built. He believes the present form of the Jewish religion is not an adequate way to connect to God. He believes a third temple must be rebuilt, because about a third of the 613 commandments in the Torah can only be obeyed by re-establishing the animal sacrifice system in a third temple. He believes achieving this complete obedience to the Torah is a necessary preparation for the return of the real Messiah, who will find the third temple a fitting setting from which to conduct judgment day to see who gets to enjoy his everlasting reign of peace.
Fundamentalist Christians like Reverend Lott believe the third temple will be the home of the fake Messiah; Jews like Rabbi Richman believe the third temple will be the home of the real Messiah.
Despite the radical disparity of their respective apocalyptic theologies, Reverend Lott and Rabbi Richman have embarked upon a solemn, sacred cooperative venture that they both believe is necessary for the Divine Promise of Purity for the Jewish people and for the final countdown to commence: the breeding of a red heifer.
Since the beginning of this venture, Reverend Lott has felt the Lord has been guiding him to become the one man on earth who could breed a perfect red heifer for people like Rabbi Richman who have been waiting for a red heifer and who know exactly what God wants them to do with one once they have one. Reverend Lott discovered the unique place the red heifer has in preparing the world for the Messiah while he was faithfully engaged in a Bible study of the book of Numbers, chapter 19 (Numbers 19:1-10). Here the scriptures describe the process by which a three-year-old, pure red heifer must be sacrificed and burned along with juniper, hyssop, and a scarlet red thread. The ashes of the heifer must then be used to purify the people of Israel, so they can walk again on the temple mount, begin to build the third temple, and finally, serve in it again. Reverend Lott, being a national champion judge of cattle and a livestock showman, knew all about red heifers. What he didn't know was whether or not there were any Jews looking for one.
Reverend Lott sought the help of the director of international trade for the Mississippi Department of Agriculture and Commerce, who in turn sought the help of the attaché at the American Embassy in Athens who oversees agricultural exports to the Middle East who, for his part, sought help from the State Department, who informed officials at the American Embassy in Tel Aviv, who finally referred the matter to the Israeli Ministry of Religious Affairs. In this obviously miraculous manner, it took ninety days for the Reverend Lott to be put in touch with Rabbi Richman.
But there were a lot more miracles and signs.
The rabbis who worked with Rabbi Richman at his Temple Institute believed it was a good sign that Reverend Lott's last name was Lott, because the Lot in the Bible was also a cattle farmer. As negotiations ensued, the price of one of the red heifers Reverend Lott proposed delivering was mistranslated. When the mistake was discovered, Reverend Lott assured the rabbis that the cost of a red heifer was $2,000 and not $20,000, and he added that he certainly didn't want to take advantage of them as they sought to turn back to God. Several rabbis were astounded that these were the exact words said in a 2,500-year-old scriptural story by a jeweler who had been asked to replace a jewel on the breastplate of the high priest. The jeweler offered to replace the jewel for 100 shekels, but added that he couldn't do it right away because he was too busy. The priests interpreted his reluctance as a bargaining ploy, so they offered him as much as they could: 1,000 shekels. Spurned even after their generous offer, the priests stormed off. The father of the jeweler, upon having learned that his son had turned the priests away, rushed after them with just the jewel they needed. Although the priests tried to pay him the 1,000 shekels, he took only the amount his son originally asked for saying, "I am not trying to take advantage of you as you are seeking to turn to God." Even though a red heifer was just the kind of cow they needed, Reverend Lott is an honest man and was not seeking to take advantage of the rabbis. Reverend Lott, Rabbi Richman, and his associates interpreted the recapitulation of this obscure story as another miraculous sign.
As was the birth in 1996 of the tenth red heifer in Israel. The foundation for the end of the world has now been laid through the efforts of Reverend Lott and Rabbi Richman, not to mention the Holy Heifer of Haifa. Her name is Melody.
One small problem.
In 685 CE, to honor the place they believed Mohammed ascended into heaven on a winged horse, Moslems built the Noble Sanctuary (including the Dome of the Rock and the Al-Aqsa mosque) in precisely the place where many of the red-heifer-breeding Jews and Christians agree the third temple must be built.
Not to worry, say the red-heifer-breeding Jews and Christians. Because the book of Revelation assumes there will be a temple in Jerusalem during the tribulation, red-heifer-breeding Christians believe that those buildings so sacred to Moslems will all somehow be simply swept away. They believe that somehow complete political control of all that real estate will pass into the hands of Israel, and the third temple will be built. The Reverend Jerry Falwell believes that the development of CNN was foretold by the book of Revelation, so apparently anything is possible. Maybe red-heifer-breeding Jewish and Christian terrorists will get together and find a way to penetrate the tight security around the Noble Sanctuary and blow the whole complex up to make way for the Divine Promise of Purity for the Jewish people.
It's already been tried.
Or maybe it will transpire as an Israeli official suggested in an interview quoted by Hal Lindsey for his best-selling book The Late Great Planet Earth: maybe an earthquake will do the trick. The earthquake that shook the area in 2004 is just one in a long line of earthquakes occurring along "the Great Rift Valley which runs for 3,000 miles between Syria and Mozambique and passes through the Dead Sea, below Jerusalem's eastern hills." Because the Noble Sanctuary is built on layers upon layers of unstable debris from thousands of years of ruins, scientists predict the next major quake will be particularly devastating. No amount of tuck-pointing appears to be standing in the way of the apocalypse now.
But before you pack your rapture bags (no liquids or gels, please), there's some bad news. Or good news, depending on your point of view.
Melody grew a white tail. According to some rabbinical authorities, even two white hairs are enough to disqualify any heifer aspiring to be the heifer that will change the world.
Lucky for Melody. She was only going to get burned anyway. Now she and an unnamed bull are cavorting in a high security pasture in an undisclosed location attempting to get the apocalyptic ball rolling again. The code name for this covert CIA operation is "Temple Mount."
Okay. I admit it. I made up the CIA part. But that's the only thing I made up for this sermon.
What then shall we say about these things? Who is right about the third temple? Reverend Lott? Rabbi Richman? Are the red heifer and the third temple really necessary for the Divine Promise of Purity for the Jewish people?
In today's lesson, the apostle Paul addresses the issue of the Divine Promise of Purity for his people. You'll notice that he doesn't discuss red heifers or the building of the third temple. Nor does he seem to be aware of the essential role that CNN must play in fulfilling apocalyptic prophecy. Even though the apostle Paul believed that some of his people's hearts were "hardened" (Romans 11:7) toward Jesus and were "disobedient" (Romans 11:30-32) in their "unbelief" (Romans 11:20), he also believed that they had not "stumbled so as to fall" (Romans 11:11), but that "there is a remnant, chosen by grace" (Romans 11:5) whom "God has the power to graft ... in again" (Romans 11:23). The apostle Paul uses the same grafting image to describe how the Gentiles became Christians. He treats "the elect" among his people no differently than he treats those who have been "elected" to be Christians (Romans 8:33; 9:11; 11:7; 11:17-23). The disobedience that can lead any of the elect astray has one divine remedy for the apostle Paul -- not the ashes of a red heifer -- not the re-establishment of animal sacrifice in a third temple -- only loving gospel mercy. The apostle Paul wrote:
God has imprisoned all in disobedience so that he may be merciful to all.
-- Romans 11:32God has imprisoned all in disobedience so that he may be merciful to all.
-- Romans 11:32
Throughout chapter 11 of his letter to the Romans, the apostle Paul repeatedly repudiates any manner by which anyone proposes that the Divine Promise of Purity is accomplished by anything other the loving gospel mercy of God. I don't know about you, but when it comes to my sins and failures and doubts and yes, even when it comes to the very end of the world, I'm hanging on to the loving gospel mercy of God.
Not some smelly, red cow. Amen.
____________
1. Information for this sermon was found in Lawrence Wright's, "Letter from Jerusalem Forcing the End," The New Yorker, July 20, 1998, http://www.lawrencewright.com/art-jerusalem.html.
