It Doesn't Pay
Sermon
Life Injections II
Further Connections Of Scripture To The Human Experience
Withholding forgiveness can be detrimental to our character and well-being.
A forest ranger at Yellowstone National Park led a group of tourists to an area of the forest where they could safely observe the activity of a grizzly bear. Lights were situated in such a way that they could see the bear but the bear couldn't see them and, at the moment, the bear was feasting on some food that had been purposely placed opposite those lights. The ranger then began to lecture the tourists on the behavior and activity of the grizzly, citing the bear as the strongest and most powerful creature in the Park and explaining how he would often tear to shreds any animal that crossed his path, especially while he was eating.
Just then, a skunk emerged from the woods and began to help himself to the bear's food. The grizzly made no attempt to stop him. The tourists asked the ranger why it was and how it was that the grizzly didn't tear the skunk to shreds. The ranger paused and said: "The grizzly learned long ago that it doesn't pay."
I begin with that anecdote because I'd like to talk with you today as to why it doesn't pay to withhold forgiveness, why it doesn't pay to nurse grudges, to wallow in bitterness, to maintain resentment, or to loathe one's enemies. When Jesus told Peter in the Gospel that he should forgive seven times seventy times, he was trying to keep Peter from being sprayed by a skunk; he was trying to keep Peter from suffering the consequences that arise from the withholding of forgiveness.
Rabbi Harold Kushner, in his latest book,1 talks of counseling a wife and mother whose husband left her for another woman several years earlier. He's now fallen behind in his child support payments and that's only added fuel to her mounting resentment and bitterness. When the rabbi suggested that she forgive her husband, her response was: "How do you expect me to forgive him after what he's done to me and my children?" The rabbi's response was classic! He said: "I'm not asking you to forgive him because what he did wasn't terrible, it was terrible! I'm suggesting that you forgive him because he doesn't deserve to have the power to turn you into a bitter and resentful woman!"
Think of it! When we hate an ex-spouse, when we hate a former friend, when we hate anyone, we're giving them power over our sleep, power over our nerves, and power over our peace of mind. Our enemies would dance for joy if they knew how our hatred was hurting us while not hurting them in the least.
So when Jesus told Peter to forgive seven times seventy times, he was trying to keep Peter from succumbing to the power of his enemies. And, at the same time, he was also trying to keep him from ill health.
I remember reading the case of a doctor who had a patient suddenly arrive in his office with crippling rheumatoid arthritis. The disease had been under control for some time but it was obvious that something had exacerbated her condition for her hands were now doubled up like claws. A thorough examination revealed no physical reason for the change so he asked: "Has anything unusual happened to you recently?" "Oh, yes!" she replied. "I know exactly what you mean and furthermore I have no intention of forgiving him!" The doctor couldn't find out who she was talking about or what had happened, but apparently at that point in her life nursing resentment was more important to her than her health.
It's been documented in many a medical journal as to the ill effects that arise when forgiveness is withheld, how when people decide to stew and wallow in bitterness and anger their blood pressure is negatively affected as is the lining of their stomach and their entire cardiovascular system. The withholding of forgiveness can shorten one's life considerably.
I read of a recent study which revealed that one out of every five victims of a fatal car accident had a quarrel within six hours before his or her accident. So if we're fighting with an enemy or even a friend, if we walk way from a dispute without practicing forgiveness, it may not only harm our physical health but it may so affect our mental health and alertness that we could be open prey for a serious, if not fatal, accident.
So when Jesus told Peter to forgive seven times seventy times, he was trying to keep Peter from succumbing to the power of his enemies, he was trying to keep Peter from ill health, and he was also trying to keep Peter from making a tragic mistake.
A woman's answering machine recorded a message from a teacher asking her to call about her son's irresponsible behavior. The teacher left no number so the woman couldn't let her know that she misdialed the call. A day later, another misdialed call informed Bob of a schedule change for an important business meeting. Again, no number was left. The woman wondered what impact these two mistakes would have on the people involved. Would the teacher wrongly judge that the mother didn't care enough to return the call? Would Bob's boss wrongly judge his missing that meeting as an act of irresponsibility?
Wrong judgments, as you can see, are easy to make. So it could well be that what we're mad about when it comes to someone else, what may have fueled a grudge we happen to be holding, may have no basis whatsoever in truth or fact. It could well be that we misinterpreted or wrongly judged a particular action or lack of action and all our anger, resentment, and hate has been directed toward someone who didn't deserve that anger or resentment or hate.
And how about the reality of our making mountains out of molehills, our raising to a high level someone or something of little importance or concern? Forgiveness can spare us that!
There's a story about a speaker who was giving a lecture after which she passed out sheets of paper for the audience to write down their name along with a question that she might answer and discuss. Once collected, she began to answer them one at a time. When she came to the sixth sheet of paper, on it was the word "idiot" written in bold letters. She read the one letter word out loud and then looked at the audience. "Ladies and gentlemen!" she announced. "Over the years, I have frequently received replies where the sender has written the question and forgotten to sign his name. This, however, is the first time the writer has signed his name and forgotten to write the question!"
How often has it happened where we've gotten angry and resentful and bitter over someone or something of "idiot" quality, someone or something that we shouldn't have allowed to get under our skin? Far too many times, instead of forgiving a comment from a foolish source, instead of forgiving an incident that spoke to childishness and immaturity and vulgarity, we raise it to a standard it didn't deserve. We make the molehill a mountain. We invest a tremendous amount of negative emotion in someone or something we should have treated as unworthy of our attention.
So when Jesus told Peter to forgive seven times seventy times, he was trying to keep Peter from succumbing to the power of his enemies; he was trying to keep Peter from ill health; he was trying to keep Peter from a tragic mistake; he was trying to keep Peter from raising to a high level someone or something of little importance; and he was trying to keep Peter from tarnishing his character.
Elie Wiesel in the book titled Night2 (his story of the Holocaust) writes that, after their liberation from the Nazi concentration camps, he and others put revenge out of their minds. They did so, first because they survived and that was more important than revenge. And most especially and most importantly, they did so because they realized that revenge would have meant their descending to the level of those who put them through their horror.
The great Booker T. Washington, who endured much racial prejudice, once said: "I will permit no person to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him!"
All too often when we withhold forgiveness, all too often when we decide to nurse bitterness and hatred and resentment, we're portraying qualities that do not speak well of us. We're portraying qualities very similar to the ones we despised in the person who's the target of our bitterness and hatred and resentment.
I believe it was Saint Augustine who said: "Imagine the vanity of thinking that your enemy can do you more damage than your enmity!"
Lastly, I believe Jesus told Peter to forgive seven times seventy times to keep him from the embarrassment of acknowledging his own imperfection.
I like the story of Sid and Barney out for a round of golf. To make the game more interesting, they made a five-dollar bet as to who would have the lowest score. After the seventeenth hole, Barney is ahead by a stroke but slices his ball into the rough on the eighteenth. "Help me find my ball!" he says to Sid and the two of them head for the rough to look for the lost ball. After five minutes, neither has any luck. Since a lost ball carries a one-stroke penalty, Barney secretly throws another ball into the rough and yells to his partner that he found his lost ball. Sid looks at him and shakes his head in disgust. "After all these years we've been friends, do you mean to tell me that you'd cheat me on golf for a measly five bucks?" "What do you mean, cheat?" asks Barney. "I found my ball sitting right here!" "And you're a liar, too!" says Sid in amazement. "I'll have you know I've been standing on your ball for the last five minutes!"
One of the problems with holding back on forgiveness is that quite often there's an air of self-righteousness around it. There's this idea that we're pure and pristine, that we're devoid of any faults, that we've never done anything in our lives for which we might need forgiveness. Like Sid, we'll get mad and resentful at Barney when, in fact, Barney had every reason to be mad and resentful at us. Being forgiving can save us the embarrassment of admitting that we have faults and shortcomings just like everyone else.
That grizzly bear at the Park did not swing his paw and tear apart that skunk because he knew it didn't pay. It would behoove us to listen to Jesus on forgiving seven times seventy times because, in fact, to withhold forgiveness doesn't pay.
It gives our enemy the undeserved power to turn us into a bitter and resentful person. It can flare up our rheumatoid arthritis, our ulcers, and our blood pressure. It can have us hating someone who didn't do what he or she was judged to have done. It can have us getting hot and bothered over someone or something that didn't deserve our attention. It can lower us to the level of our enemy. It can have us angry with a golf partner while, at the same time, admitting that we're standing on the lost ball.
My friends, heed the words of Jesus! Forgive seven times seventy times!
____________
1. Harold S. Kushner, How Good Do We Have To Be (New York: Little, Brown & Company, 1996).
2. Elie Wiesel, Night (New York: Hill & Wang, 1960).
A forest ranger at Yellowstone National Park led a group of tourists to an area of the forest where they could safely observe the activity of a grizzly bear. Lights were situated in such a way that they could see the bear but the bear couldn't see them and, at the moment, the bear was feasting on some food that had been purposely placed opposite those lights. The ranger then began to lecture the tourists on the behavior and activity of the grizzly, citing the bear as the strongest and most powerful creature in the Park and explaining how he would often tear to shreds any animal that crossed his path, especially while he was eating.
Just then, a skunk emerged from the woods and began to help himself to the bear's food. The grizzly made no attempt to stop him. The tourists asked the ranger why it was and how it was that the grizzly didn't tear the skunk to shreds. The ranger paused and said: "The grizzly learned long ago that it doesn't pay."
I begin with that anecdote because I'd like to talk with you today as to why it doesn't pay to withhold forgiveness, why it doesn't pay to nurse grudges, to wallow in bitterness, to maintain resentment, or to loathe one's enemies. When Jesus told Peter in the Gospel that he should forgive seven times seventy times, he was trying to keep Peter from being sprayed by a skunk; he was trying to keep Peter from suffering the consequences that arise from the withholding of forgiveness.
Rabbi Harold Kushner, in his latest book,1 talks of counseling a wife and mother whose husband left her for another woman several years earlier. He's now fallen behind in his child support payments and that's only added fuel to her mounting resentment and bitterness. When the rabbi suggested that she forgive her husband, her response was: "How do you expect me to forgive him after what he's done to me and my children?" The rabbi's response was classic! He said: "I'm not asking you to forgive him because what he did wasn't terrible, it was terrible! I'm suggesting that you forgive him because he doesn't deserve to have the power to turn you into a bitter and resentful woman!"
Think of it! When we hate an ex-spouse, when we hate a former friend, when we hate anyone, we're giving them power over our sleep, power over our nerves, and power over our peace of mind. Our enemies would dance for joy if they knew how our hatred was hurting us while not hurting them in the least.
So when Jesus told Peter to forgive seven times seventy times, he was trying to keep Peter from succumbing to the power of his enemies. And, at the same time, he was also trying to keep him from ill health.
I remember reading the case of a doctor who had a patient suddenly arrive in his office with crippling rheumatoid arthritis. The disease had been under control for some time but it was obvious that something had exacerbated her condition for her hands were now doubled up like claws. A thorough examination revealed no physical reason for the change so he asked: "Has anything unusual happened to you recently?" "Oh, yes!" she replied. "I know exactly what you mean and furthermore I have no intention of forgiving him!" The doctor couldn't find out who she was talking about or what had happened, but apparently at that point in her life nursing resentment was more important to her than her health.
It's been documented in many a medical journal as to the ill effects that arise when forgiveness is withheld, how when people decide to stew and wallow in bitterness and anger their blood pressure is negatively affected as is the lining of their stomach and their entire cardiovascular system. The withholding of forgiveness can shorten one's life considerably.
I read of a recent study which revealed that one out of every five victims of a fatal car accident had a quarrel within six hours before his or her accident. So if we're fighting with an enemy or even a friend, if we walk way from a dispute without practicing forgiveness, it may not only harm our physical health but it may so affect our mental health and alertness that we could be open prey for a serious, if not fatal, accident.
So when Jesus told Peter to forgive seven times seventy times, he was trying to keep Peter from succumbing to the power of his enemies, he was trying to keep Peter from ill health, and he was also trying to keep Peter from making a tragic mistake.
A woman's answering machine recorded a message from a teacher asking her to call about her son's irresponsible behavior. The teacher left no number so the woman couldn't let her know that she misdialed the call. A day later, another misdialed call informed Bob of a schedule change for an important business meeting. Again, no number was left. The woman wondered what impact these two mistakes would have on the people involved. Would the teacher wrongly judge that the mother didn't care enough to return the call? Would Bob's boss wrongly judge his missing that meeting as an act of irresponsibility?
Wrong judgments, as you can see, are easy to make. So it could well be that what we're mad about when it comes to someone else, what may have fueled a grudge we happen to be holding, may have no basis whatsoever in truth or fact. It could well be that we misinterpreted or wrongly judged a particular action or lack of action and all our anger, resentment, and hate has been directed toward someone who didn't deserve that anger or resentment or hate.
And how about the reality of our making mountains out of molehills, our raising to a high level someone or something of little importance or concern? Forgiveness can spare us that!
There's a story about a speaker who was giving a lecture after which she passed out sheets of paper for the audience to write down their name along with a question that she might answer and discuss. Once collected, she began to answer them one at a time. When she came to the sixth sheet of paper, on it was the word "idiot" written in bold letters. She read the one letter word out loud and then looked at the audience. "Ladies and gentlemen!" she announced. "Over the years, I have frequently received replies where the sender has written the question and forgotten to sign his name. This, however, is the first time the writer has signed his name and forgotten to write the question!"
How often has it happened where we've gotten angry and resentful and bitter over someone or something of "idiot" quality, someone or something that we shouldn't have allowed to get under our skin? Far too many times, instead of forgiving a comment from a foolish source, instead of forgiving an incident that spoke to childishness and immaturity and vulgarity, we raise it to a standard it didn't deserve. We make the molehill a mountain. We invest a tremendous amount of negative emotion in someone or something we should have treated as unworthy of our attention.
So when Jesus told Peter to forgive seven times seventy times, he was trying to keep Peter from succumbing to the power of his enemies; he was trying to keep Peter from ill health; he was trying to keep Peter from a tragic mistake; he was trying to keep Peter from raising to a high level someone or something of little importance; and he was trying to keep Peter from tarnishing his character.
Elie Wiesel in the book titled Night2 (his story of the Holocaust) writes that, after their liberation from the Nazi concentration camps, he and others put revenge out of their minds. They did so, first because they survived and that was more important than revenge. And most especially and most importantly, they did so because they realized that revenge would have meant their descending to the level of those who put them through their horror.
The great Booker T. Washington, who endured much racial prejudice, once said: "I will permit no person to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him!"
All too often when we withhold forgiveness, all too often when we decide to nurse bitterness and hatred and resentment, we're portraying qualities that do not speak well of us. We're portraying qualities very similar to the ones we despised in the person who's the target of our bitterness and hatred and resentment.
I believe it was Saint Augustine who said: "Imagine the vanity of thinking that your enemy can do you more damage than your enmity!"
Lastly, I believe Jesus told Peter to forgive seven times seventy times to keep him from the embarrassment of acknowledging his own imperfection.
I like the story of Sid and Barney out for a round of golf. To make the game more interesting, they made a five-dollar bet as to who would have the lowest score. After the seventeenth hole, Barney is ahead by a stroke but slices his ball into the rough on the eighteenth. "Help me find my ball!" he says to Sid and the two of them head for the rough to look for the lost ball. After five minutes, neither has any luck. Since a lost ball carries a one-stroke penalty, Barney secretly throws another ball into the rough and yells to his partner that he found his lost ball. Sid looks at him and shakes his head in disgust. "After all these years we've been friends, do you mean to tell me that you'd cheat me on golf for a measly five bucks?" "What do you mean, cheat?" asks Barney. "I found my ball sitting right here!" "And you're a liar, too!" says Sid in amazement. "I'll have you know I've been standing on your ball for the last five minutes!"
One of the problems with holding back on forgiveness is that quite often there's an air of self-righteousness around it. There's this idea that we're pure and pristine, that we're devoid of any faults, that we've never done anything in our lives for which we might need forgiveness. Like Sid, we'll get mad and resentful at Barney when, in fact, Barney had every reason to be mad and resentful at us. Being forgiving can save us the embarrassment of admitting that we have faults and shortcomings just like everyone else.
That grizzly bear at the Park did not swing his paw and tear apart that skunk because he knew it didn't pay. It would behoove us to listen to Jesus on forgiving seven times seventy times because, in fact, to withhold forgiveness doesn't pay.
It gives our enemy the undeserved power to turn us into a bitter and resentful person. It can flare up our rheumatoid arthritis, our ulcers, and our blood pressure. It can have us hating someone who didn't do what he or she was judged to have done. It can have us getting hot and bothered over someone or something that didn't deserve our attention. It can lower us to the level of our enemy. It can have us angry with a golf partner while, at the same time, admitting that we're standing on the lost ball.
My friends, heed the words of Jesus! Forgive seven times seventy times!
____________
1. Harold S. Kushner, How Good Do We Have To Be (New York: Little, Brown & Company, 1996).
2. Elie Wiesel, Night (New York: Hill & Wang, 1960).
