Before It's Too Late
Sermon
Sermons On The First Readings
Series I, Cycle B
Actress Melanie Griffith candidly writes of her painful experiences while growing up. When she was four years old, her parents broke up and she believes this contributed to her life-long feelings of insecurity.
As a teenager she hid her fears behind a rebellious streak. She was barely fifteen when she met the 22-year-old actor Don Johnson and announced that she wanted to live with him. "I didn't have to put up a big fight," she says.
Reflecting on her life, Melanie states, "What I really needed was to be sent to boarding school to give me the chance to grow up."1 This serves as another reminder that parents have a responsibility to their children. It is important for children to feel the love and support of their parents. There might be times when parents need to intercede when a son or daughter is acting in inappropriate ways.
David's life must have seemed like a recurrent nightmare. Nothing seemed to be going right. David's life and that of his kingdom would never again be the same as a result of his affair with Bathsheba and the subsequent murder of her husband, Uriah. The prophet Nathan confronted David with his sin. Speaking the Word of the Lord, Nathan told David that the consequences of his sin would be played out in his own family. One reason we might be hesitant to admit our sin is because we are afraid of the consequences. David confessed his sin, admitted the wrong he had done, and was forgiven. God promised David that he would not die.
Much had happened to David and his family in the years since the prophet confronted him. David's oldest son had attacked one of his daughters. While David knew what had happened, he did nothing. Another son, Absalom, was livid over this attack on his sister and two years later had one of his servants murder the brother who attacked his sister. In his grief David still did not seek to intervene in any way.
Absalom then fled and would not return to his family for three years. When he was allowed to return to Jerusalem he undercut his father's authority. This continued for four additional years. During that time Absalom gathered an army and claimed to be king, which forced his father to depart abruptly from the capital city of Jerusalem. The fighting continued, "The battle spread over the face of all the country." The result was many lives lost in battle.
David was in a difficult position. On the one hand, he was the ruler and had to deal effectively with anyone who challenged his authority. On the other hand, David was also a father who did not want to see any harm come to his son. David called his military advisors instructing them, "Deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom." Alas, victories are not won by dealing "gently" with the enemy.
"All the people heard when the king gave orders to all the commanders concerning Absalom." This is an interesting note, everyone including the soldiers knew they should not harm the prince, Absalom. If the soldiers captured Absalom they would obey the king's order and not harm him.
The battle took place in the forest and surrounding countryside. The fighting was heavy with casualties on both sides. At one point in the battle Absalom unexpectedly met up with some servants of David. Trying to escape capture, Absalom rode away on a mule as fast as he could, but somehow he managed to get snagged by a low branch. Absalom was left dangling "between heaven and earth" as his mule continued without him. He was stuck and could not free himself. He was alone in the forest; his soldiers were not around to free him or protect him either. There he was defenseless in the heat of the battle.
Word soon reached the commanding field officer, Joab, that Absalom was caught in an oak tree. Joab questioned the soldier, "Why then did you not strike him there to the ground?" Joab would gladly have paid anyone who took care of the rebellious prince "ten pieces of silver and a belt" to be rid of this troublesome young man. The soldiers had heard the king's command not to harm Absalom so they would not strike him. So Joab decided to take matters into his own hands. Going against the king's orders, he thrust spears into Absalom's chest. Only then did the others join in. Absalom was killed and buried in the forest.
The victory belonged to David. The insurrection was over. Now he could claim his rightful place as king. One thing remained however. Who would tell David that his son was dead? Messengers bringing bad news to the king have been known to be killed. They decided to send a foreigner to tell David of his son's demise.
Like the father in the Parable of the Prodigal Son, David is anxiously awaiting word on his son. With a sentinel David waited between two gates. Off in the distance he spied a messenger. His heart pounded. Would this be the one to tell him that his son was alive? The first messenger arrived to inform David that "all is well." When asked specifically about his son the messenger was silent.
The second messenger arrived telling David the news, "Good tidings for my lord the King! For the Lord has vindicated you this day, delivering you from the power of all who rose up against you." This was all well and fine but what David really wanted to know was if his son had survived the battle. The only thing he wanted to hear was news about his son. The messenger broke the news to him as best he could that his son had been killed in the battle.
David was heavyhearted with the reality of his son's death. Retreating to his chamber David wept over the death of his son. Down through the ages we can hear David cry out, "O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I had died instead of you. O Absalom, my son, my son!" David was undone by the news of his son Absalom's death. In that moment everything else became irrelevant, the battle, the rebellion, the throne, everything but his deep grief.
A message from this tragic episode might be that when we face difficulties or even open conflict with those we love, our family or circle of friends, we need to intercede as soon as possible.
Was David's grief intensified because he felt responsible? After all, his sinful act set in motion all that transpired. Or, was David grieving in part because this sad chain of events might have been prevented had he intervened earlier with his son?
For this passage to mean anything to us we have to ask ourselves how we would respond when a loved one is in serious trouble. How might we intervene to prevent potential tragedies? We live at a time when there are more books about creating successful, happy marriages and raising children to reach their potential than at any other time in history. Besides books and tapes you cannot walk past a magazine display without noticing articles which offer all sorts of help for our troubled relationships. Why is it that if there is so much available that so many people are hurting?
Perhaps what is missing is our willingness to confront wrong, to talk problems out when someone we love hurts us. The longer we wait the more difficult it becomes and the more time that passes the more resentment grows.
One day Misty was cleaning her teenage daughter's bedroom when she happened to find some letters which she found quite disturbing. The letter was from her daughter's best friend, who wrote about murdering a teacher she did not like. There were other letters decorated with monkeys with vampire teeth, axes, and knives that told of death.
When her daughter came home from school, Misty confronted her about the letters. At first her daughter tried to play it down: "Oh, we didn't mean anything bad." Things would get worse before they would get better. Her mother described this difficult time with her daughter. "When she wasn't raging, she was seething and moody, and she continually taunted us with threats of running away." Her daughter was becoming more and more difficult to communicate with. Misty reached the point that many parents reach. "Part of me was so angry that I almost didn't care," she admitted. "Here was this girl, this child I had carried for nine months and loved with all my being, telling me that she hated me."
Misty and her husband knew that they had to do something. They realized that if they did nothing things would only get worse. Their daughter repeatedly threatened to run away from home or commit suicide. Over Christmas break they enrolled their daughter in a private Christian school. They began regular searches of their daughter's room and backpack, monitored her use of the phone, and forbad her to leave the house without permission. Naturally their daughter was angry and wrote a note to a friend saying she had the dumbest parents in the world.
Fortunately this family received the love and support of their church during this time. They tried to involve their daughter in the youth group. At first it was a struggle. That spring their daughter attended a youth retreat where she made new friends and that helped turn her life around. She recommitted her life to Jesus Christ. As time went on Misty could not believe how her daughter had completely changed. Their daughter seemed like a totally different person.
Through all her trials, Misty discovered that "despite the best efforts of parents and relatives, teachers and friends -- a good kid will go bad, and there is little more you can do than admit your shortcomings and start picking up the pieces."2
It is especially important to intervene when a person we love is acting in destructive ways that could cause harm to themselves or others. Whether we like it or not, there are times when we need to be "in your face" with those we care about.
It's easier to see someone else's faults than to identify our own and work toward resolution. It's easier to ignore the problem, hoping it will go away by itself or our loved ones will grow out of it, rather than dealing with it in a loving, forgiving way to restore the relationship.
We cannot help but wonder what might have happened to David and his family had he intervened earlier. David did nothing and look how badly things turned out: he had two dead sons and his kingdom was in turmoil.
Alica walked in front of the lights and cameras at a Pennsylvania high school and calmly spoke her lines as part of a public service announcement. "My daughter, Natashia, was killed in a single-car, drug-related accident. She was sixteen. Please learn from this tragedy. You have a life. Be there for it."
As Alica spoke those heart-felt words she was surrounded by some of her daughter's classmates along with a framed picture of her daughter. Her daughter's friends and other students wanted to be involved in the project. Between 200 and 300 ideas had been submitted and then the students picked five to be filmed.
While it was hard for Alica to say those words in front of a camera, she wanted others to view her personal tragedy as a warning to parents and others in the community to reach out to other young people who are in trouble. Alica's daughter had died just three months earlier.
"Natashia made a terrible mistake," she said. "She was a wonderful kid; she just made a very bad choice." Then this grieving mother said, "You hope and pray that you're never in my place. If I could just reach one child, then I feel like my daughter's death was not in vain."3
May David's grieving cry, "O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I had died instead of you. O Absalom, my son, my son!" serve as a wake up call for us that we do all in our power to prevent misfortune from happening to those we love and care about.
____________
1. "I Took A Chance On A Normal Life," Melanie Griffith, Parade, August 6, 2000, p. 4.
2. She Said Yes, Misty Bernall, (Farmington, Pennsylvania: The Plough Publishing House, 1999), p. 38.
3. "Hempfield Students Deliver Message," Alyssa Roggie, Intelligencer Journal, Lancaster, Pennsylvania, May 8, 2001.
As a teenager she hid her fears behind a rebellious streak. She was barely fifteen when she met the 22-year-old actor Don Johnson and announced that she wanted to live with him. "I didn't have to put up a big fight," she says.
Reflecting on her life, Melanie states, "What I really needed was to be sent to boarding school to give me the chance to grow up."1 This serves as another reminder that parents have a responsibility to their children. It is important for children to feel the love and support of their parents. There might be times when parents need to intercede when a son or daughter is acting in inappropriate ways.
David's life must have seemed like a recurrent nightmare. Nothing seemed to be going right. David's life and that of his kingdom would never again be the same as a result of his affair with Bathsheba and the subsequent murder of her husband, Uriah. The prophet Nathan confronted David with his sin. Speaking the Word of the Lord, Nathan told David that the consequences of his sin would be played out in his own family. One reason we might be hesitant to admit our sin is because we are afraid of the consequences. David confessed his sin, admitted the wrong he had done, and was forgiven. God promised David that he would not die.
Much had happened to David and his family in the years since the prophet confronted him. David's oldest son had attacked one of his daughters. While David knew what had happened, he did nothing. Another son, Absalom, was livid over this attack on his sister and two years later had one of his servants murder the brother who attacked his sister. In his grief David still did not seek to intervene in any way.
Absalom then fled and would not return to his family for three years. When he was allowed to return to Jerusalem he undercut his father's authority. This continued for four additional years. During that time Absalom gathered an army and claimed to be king, which forced his father to depart abruptly from the capital city of Jerusalem. The fighting continued, "The battle spread over the face of all the country." The result was many lives lost in battle.
David was in a difficult position. On the one hand, he was the ruler and had to deal effectively with anyone who challenged his authority. On the other hand, David was also a father who did not want to see any harm come to his son. David called his military advisors instructing them, "Deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom." Alas, victories are not won by dealing "gently" with the enemy.
"All the people heard when the king gave orders to all the commanders concerning Absalom." This is an interesting note, everyone including the soldiers knew they should not harm the prince, Absalom. If the soldiers captured Absalom they would obey the king's order and not harm him.
The battle took place in the forest and surrounding countryside. The fighting was heavy with casualties on both sides. At one point in the battle Absalom unexpectedly met up with some servants of David. Trying to escape capture, Absalom rode away on a mule as fast as he could, but somehow he managed to get snagged by a low branch. Absalom was left dangling "between heaven and earth" as his mule continued without him. He was stuck and could not free himself. He was alone in the forest; his soldiers were not around to free him or protect him either. There he was defenseless in the heat of the battle.
Word soon reached the commanding field officer, Joab, that Absalom was caught in an oak tree. Joab questioned the soldier, "Why then did you not strike him there to the ground?" Joab would gladly have paid anyone who took care of the rebellious prince "ten pieces of silver and a belt" to be rid of this troublesome young man. The soldiers had heard the king's command not to harm Absalom so they would not strike him. So Joab decided to take matters into his own hands. Going against the king's orders, he thrust spears into Absalom's chest. Only then did the others join in. Absalom was killed and buried in the forest.
The victory belonged to David. The insurrection was over. Now he could claim his rightful place as king. One thing remained however. Who would tell David that his son was dead? Messengers bringing bad news to the king have been known to be killed. They decided to send a foreigner to tell David of his son's demise.
Like the father in the Parable of the Prodigal Son, David is anxiously awaiting word on his son. With a sentinel David waited between two gates. Off in the distance he spied a messenger. His heart pounded. Would this be the one to tell him that his son was alive? The first messenger arrived to inform David that "all is well." When asked specifically about his son the messenger was silent.
The second messenger arrived telling David the news, "Good tidings for my lord the King! For the Lord has vindicated you this day, delivering you from the power of all who rose up against you." This was all well and fine but what David really wanted to know was if his son had survived the battle. The only thing he wanted to hear was news about his son. The messenger broke the news to him as best he could that his son had been killed in the battle.
David was heavyhearted with the reality of his son's death. Retreating to his chamber David wept over the death of his son. Down through the ages we can hear David cry out, "O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I had died instead of you. O Absalom, my son, my son!" David was undone by the news of his son Absalom's death. In that moment everything else became irrelevant, the battle, the rebellion, the throne, everything but his deep grief.
A message from this tragic episode might be that when we face difficulties or even open conflict with those we love, our family or circle of friends, we need to intercede as soon as possible.
Was David's grief intensified because he felt responsible? After all, his sinful act set in motion all that transpired. Or, was David grieving in part because this sad chain of events might have been prevented had he intervened earlier with his son?
For this passage to mean anything to us we have to ask ourselves how we would respond when a loved one is in serious trouble. How might we intervene to prevent potential tragedies? We live at a time when there are more books about creating successful, happy marriages and raising children to reach their potential than at any other time in history. Besides books and tapes you cannot walk past a magazine display without noticing articles which offer all sorts of help for our troubled relationships. Why is it that if there is so much available that so many people are hurting?
Perhaps what is missing is our willingness to confront wrong, to talk problems out when someone we love hurts us. The longer we wait the more difficult it becomes and the more time that passes the more resentment grows.
One day Misty was cleaning her teenage daughter's bedroom when she happened to find some letters which she found quite disturbing. The letter was from her daughter's best friend, who wrote about murdering a teacher she did not like. There were other letters decorated with monkeys with vampire teeth, axes, and knives that told of death.
When her daughter came home from school, Misty confronted her about the letters. At first her daughter tried to play it down: "Oh, we didn't mean anything bad." Things would get worse before they would get better. Her mother described this difficult time with her daughter. "When she wasn't raging, she was seething and moody, and she continually taunted us with threats of running away." Her daughter was becoming more and more difficult to communicate with. Misty reached the point that many parents reach. "Part of me was so angry that I almost didn't care," she admitted. "Here was this girl, this child I had carried for nine months and loved with all my being, telling me that she hated me."
Misty and her husband knew that they had to do something. They realized that if they did nothing things would only get worse. Their daughter repeatedly threatened to run away from home or commit suicide. Over Christmas break they enrolled their daughter in a private Christian school. They began regular searches of their daughter's room and backpack, monitored her use of the phone, and forbad her to leave the house without permission. Naturally their daughter was angry and wrote a note to a friend saying she had the dumbest parents in the world.
Fortunately this family received the love and support of their church during this time. They tried to involve their daughter in the youth group. At first it was a struggle. That spring their daughter attended a youth retreat where she made new friends and that helped turn her life around. She recommitted her life to Jesus Christ. As time went on Misty could not believe how her daughter had completely changed. Their daughter seemed like a totally different person.
Through all her trials, Misty discovered that "despite the best efforts of parents and relatives, teachers and friends -- a good kid will go bad, and there is little more you can do than admit your shortcomings and start picking up the pieces."2
It is especially important to intervene when a person we love is acting in destructive ways that could cause harm to themselves or others. Whether we like it or not, there are times when we need to be "in your face" with those we care about.
It's easier to see someone else's faults than to identify our own and work toward resolution. It's easier to ignore the problem, hoping it will go away by itself or our loved ones will grow out of it, rather than dealing with it in a loving, forgiving way to restore the relationship.
We cannot help but wonder what might have happened to David and his family had he intervened earlier. David did nothing and look how badly things turned out: he had two dead sons and his kingdom was in turmoil.
Alica walked in front of the lights and cameras at a Pennsylvania high school and calmly spoke her lines as part of a public service announcement. "My daughter, Natashia, was killed in a single-car, drug-related accident. She was sixteen. Please learn from this tragedy. You have a life. Be there for it."
As Alica spoke those heart-felt words she was surrounded by some of her daughter's classmates along with a framed picture of her daughter. Her daughter's friends and other students wanted to be involved in the project. Between 200 and 300 ideas had been submitted and then the students picked five to be filmed.
While it was hard for Alica to say those words in front of a camera, she wanted others to view her personal tragedy as a warning to parents and others in the community to reach out to other young people who are in trouble. Alica's daughter had died just three months earlier.
"Natashia made a terrible mistake," she said. "She was a wonderful kid; she just made a very bad choice." Then this grieving mother said, "You hope and pray that you're never in my place. If I could just reach one child, then I feel like my daughter's death was not in vain."3
May David's grieving cry, "O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I had died instead of you. O Absalom, my son, my son!" serve as a wake up call for us that we do all in our power to prevent misfortune from happening to those we love and care about.
____________
1. "I Took A Chance On A Normal Life," Melanie Griffith, Parade, August 6, 2000, p. 4.
2. She Said Yes, Misty Bernall, (Farmington, Pennsylvania: The Plough Publishing House, 1999), p. 38.
3. "Hempfield Students Deliver Message," Alyssa Roggie, Intelligencer Journal, Lancaster, Pennsylvania, May 8, 2001.
