Knock, Knock!
Drama
Lectionary Scenes
57 Vignettes For Cycle A
Theme
What if the people in the Kingdom of God are not like us? Will we welcome them, help them, love them?
Summary
A couple are surprised to have guests, an IRS man and a prostitute, who are seeking information about the Kingdom of God. The couple are unwilling to help them and finally kick them out of their home.
Playing Time: 3 minutes
Setting: A normal Christian home
Props: A cellular phone
Costumes: Contemporary, casual appropriate for characters
Time: The present
Cast: MITCH -- a Christian businessman
VERNA -- his wife
WINNY -- an IRS man
SUGAR -- a prostitute
MITCH: (ENTERS. ON THE PHONE) Yes, take care of the Williams account.
VERNA: (ENTERS ALONG WITH WINNY AND SUGAR) Honey, we have some guests.
WINNY: Hello.
MITCH: Listen, I'll call you back. (HANGS UP PHONE) Yes?
VERNA: Make yourself at home.
SUGAR: Thanks.
WINNY: Hi, we're here about the Kingdom of God.
MITCH: Sorry. I'm not interested.
WINNY: You are part of it, aren't you?
MITCH: The Kingdom of God? Of course. I belong to the Lord.
WINNY: Well, we want to know all about it.
MITCH: Are you selling magazines?
WINNY: No.
MITCH: Well, I'm not interested anyway.
WINNY: We just want to find out about the Kingdom of God.
MITCH: I'm really busy.
WINNY: Could you just share with us about God?
VERNA: How wonderful. Of course we will, won't we, dear.
MITCH: Who are you?
WINNY: My name is Winfield Stratton. I work for the IRS and this is ...
MITCH: The IRS! I get it. You want to audit my return.
WINNY: Not at all. I just want to know about the Kingdom of God.
MITCH: I think that's pretty tricky, slipping in here, telling me you're interested in finding out about God.
WINNY: We do want to find out about God. We heard that you knew the Lord and therefore we thought that you might help us.
MITCH: Well, you thought wrong.
VERNA: Dear, maybe we could be of some help to these fine people.
MITCH: You just stay out of this. Let me handle it.
VERNA: (TO SUGAR) Hello, my dear. It's so nice to have you in my home. I'm sure my husband and I can answer all your questions about the Kingdom of God.
SUGAR: Thanks.
WINNY: Now we're getting somewhere. Could you tell us how to become a part of God's Kingdom?
VERNA: Of course we'll help, won't we, dear.
MITCH: No! I thought I made it clear. You're not welcome here.
WINNY: I just thought ...
MITCH: No. No more talk. Just leave. Leave my house.
VERNA: Must you be so harsh? All they want is to hear about the Kingdom of God. Surely we, as Christians ...
MITCH: I told you to keep out of it. I don't want any snooping IRS man here. He just wants to audit me.
VERNA: I don't think so, dear.
WINNY: I assure you, Sir, I didn't come to audit your tax return.
MITCH: That's what you say.
VERNA: Dear, isn't it our Christian duty to help those who want to learn about the Kingdom of God? I think it is.
WINNY: Thank you, Ma'am.
MITCH: You two just get out of here, now! (HE SHOVES WINNY AND SUGAR)
VERNA: Here, now, there's no need to get violent.
MITCH: Just get them out of here.
VERNA: (WITH HER ARM AROUND SUGAR) Are you all right? I hope he didn't hurt you. What's your name, dear?
SUGAR: Sugar.
VERNA: Sugar. That's an interesting name -- Sugar.
SUGAR: It's not my real name.
VERNA: Well, my dear, it's a really pretty name. What is it you do, dear?
SUGAR: I'm a prostitute.
VERNA: What?
SUGAR: A prostitute, you know, I ...
VERNA: Are you serious?
SUGAR: Yes, I'm afraid so.
VERNA: Well, you better get out of here.
WINNY: What about the Kingdom of God?
VERNA: Forget it! Get out of here! (WINNY AND SUGAR EXIT) The nerve. Imagine.
MITCH: The Kingdom of God was not made for the likes of those scum.
What if the people in the Kingdom of God are not like us? Will we welcome them, help them, love them?
Summary
A couple are surprised to have guests, an IRS man and a prostitute, who are seeking information about the Kingdom of God. The couple are unwilling to help them and finally kick them out of their home.
Playing Time: 3 minutes
Setting: A normal Christian home
Props: A cellular phone
Costumes: Contemporary, casual appropriate for characters
Time: The present
Cast: MITCH -- a Christian businessman
VERNA -- his wife
WINNY -- an IRS man
SUGAR -- a prostitute
MITCH: (ENTERS. ON THE PHONE) Yes, take care of the Williams account.
VERNA: (ENTERS ALONG WITH WINNY AND SUGAR) Honey, we have some guests.
WINNY: Hello.
MITCH: Listen, I'll call you back. (HANGS UP PHONE) Yes?
VERNA: Make yourself at home.
SUGAR: Thanks.
WINNY: Hi, we're here about the Kingdom of God.
MITCH: Sorry. I'm not interested.
WINNY: You are part of it, aren't you?
MITCH: The Kingdom of God? Of course. I belong to the Lord.
WINNY: Well, we want to know all about it.
MITCH: Are you selling magazines?
WINNY: No.
MITCH: Well, I'm not interested anyway.
WINNY: We just want to find out about the Kingdom of God.
MITCH: I'm really busy.
WINNY: Could you just share with us about God?
VERNA: How wonderful. Of course we will, won't we, dear.
MITCH: Who are you?
WINNY: My name is Winfield Stratton. I work for the IRS and this is ...
MITCH: The IRS! I get it. You want to audit my return.
WINNY: Not at all. I just want to know about the Kingdom of God.
MITCH: I think that's pretty tricky, slipping in here, telling me you're interested in finding out about God.
WINNY: We do want to find out about God. We heard that you knew the Lord and therefore we thought that you might help us.
MITCH: Well, you thought wrong.
VERNA: Dear, maybe we could be of some help to these fine people.
MITCH: You just stay out of this. Let me handle it.
VERNA: (TO SUGAR) Hello, my dear. It's so nice to have you in my home. I'm sure my husband and I can answer all your questions about the Kingdom of God.
SUGAR: Thanks.
WINNY: Now we're getting somewhere. Could you tell us how to become a part of God's Kingdom?
VERNA: Of course we'll help, won't we, dear.
MITCH: No! I thought I made it clear. You're not welcome here.
WINNY: I just thought ...
MITCH: No. No more talk. Just leave. Leave my house.
VERNA: Must you be so harsh? All they want is to hear about the Kingdom of God. Surely we, as Christians ...
MITCH: I told you to keep out of it. I don't want any snooping IRS man here. He just wants to audit me.
VERNA: I don't think so, dear.
WINNY: I assure you, Sir, I didn't come to audit your tax return.
MITCH: That's what you say.
VERNA: Dear, isn't it our Christian duty to help those who want to learn about the Kingdom of God? I think it is.
WINNY: Thank you, Ma'am.
MITCH: You two just get out of here, now! (HE SHOVES WINNY AND SUGAR)
VERNA: Here, now, there's no need to get violent.
MITCH: Just get them out of here.
VERNA: (WITH HER ARM AROUND SUGAR) Are you all right? I hope he didn't hurt you. What's your name, dear?
SUGAR: Sugar.
VERNA: Sugar. That's an interesting name -- Sugar.
SUGAR: It's not my real name.
VERNA: Well, my dear, it's a really pretty name. What is it you do, dear?
SUGAR: I'm a prostitute.
VERNA: What?
SUGAR: A prostitute, you know, I ...
VERNA: Are you serious?
SUGAR: Yes, I'm afraid so.
VERNA: Well, you better get out of here.
WINNY: What about the Kingdom of God?
VERNA: Forget it! Get out of here! (WINNY AND SUGAR EXIT) The nerve. Imagine.
MITCH: The Kingdom of God was not made for the likes of those scum.

