Lighting The Unity Candle
Sermon
Wedding Sermons And Marriage Ceremonies
Paul, the Apostle, once wrote a letter to his Christian friends in Corinth about the nature of true love. Hear his words as they are found in 1 Corinthians 13 (TEV):
Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill--mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.
Love is eternal.
Eternal love. That is what you will be pledging to each other in front of all your family and friends today, (Bride) and (Groom). "As long as we both shall live," you will say. We are talking about something really strong here: a love that will last your whole lives long. The strange thing is, as strong as your love for one another is, remember there is something fragile about this strong love you have. It will need a lot of care.
Think about the symbolism of the unity candle you will be lighting. Eternal love between a couple begins with two individuals standing strong on their own, like the two candles burning brightly on the communion table right now. The large candle in the middle represents a new life about to be formed. (No, I'm not talking about children, yet.) I'm talking about your new life together as a couple committed to one another in marriage. The big candle stands for your marriage relationship. It will receive its light not from random sparks of romance, though that may have been what brought you together in the first place. This middle candle will come to light by your own careful choosing. Two strong individuals, you two, are choosing today to share your energy and love to create a marriage.
It used to be that after lighting the unity candle, couples would blow out the side candles, to symbolize the merging of their lives in this one relationship. But I think it is healthy for you to keep all the candles lit, as a reminder that you are still two strong individuals who will need to choose daily to put your energy into this new creation called "marriage." That is where the patience, kindness, unselfishness, and honesty of which Paul speaks come in. You will need all those things and more to keep your love and your marriage strong. I hope you don't see your marriage as a desperate necessity or a losing of self--identity. A good marriage is a wonderful choice that you make to keep on loving one another.
One thing you might note as you look at these candles is that none of them are burning at both ends. There will be times in your marriage when one or both of you will be extremely busy. You may feel like you just pass each other on the go. Short stints of that can actually be invigorating. But if that becomes the pattern of your married life, watch out. A candle burning at both ends doesn't last long. When all your energy is going toward your own individual stuff, who is going to trim the wick and keep the flame going in your marriage? That's not the job of the wife alone, or the husband alone. Marriage is a two--person job. And it takes time. Give yourselves time, (Bride) and (Groom). Don't burn your candles at both ends.
There is one flaw in using candles as a symbol of your eternal love. Candles have a very limited life span. But then, in the whole scope of things, so do we. How can we get eternal love from mortal beings like ourselves? That is when we need to look beyond the candles to the cross. Christ was God's eternal love come to dwell with us, showing us the way to live with a love that does last forever. (Bride) and (Groom), as you vow to share your love with each other forever, remember the Source of eternal love. Add the energy of God's great love for you to your love for each other and nothing can stop your marriage from burning bright and warm forever.
God be with you and give to you that love which is eternal.
Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill--mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.
Love is eternal.
Eternal love. That is what you will be pledging to each other in front of all your family and friends today, (Bride) and (Groom). "As long as we both shall live," you will say. We are talking about something really strong here: a love that will last your whole lives long. The strange thing is, as strong as your love for one another is, remember there is something fragile about this strong love you have. It will need a lot of care.
Think about the symbolism of the unity candle you will be lighting. Eternal love between a couple begins with two individuals standing strong on their own, like the two candles burning brightly on the communion table right now. The large candle in the middle represents a new life about to be formed. (No, I'm not talking about children, yet.) I'm talking about your new life together as a couple committed to one another in marriage. The big candle stands for your marriage relationship. It will receive its light not from random sparks of romance, though that may have been what brought you together in the first place. This middle candle will come to light by your own careful choosing. Two strong individuals, you two, are choosing today to share your energy and love to create a marriage.
It used to be that after lighting the unity candle, couples would blow out the side candles, to symbolize the merging of their lives in this one relationship. But I think it is healthy for you to keep all the candles lit, as a reminder that you are still two strong individuals who will need to choose daily to put your energy into this new creation called "marriage." That is where the patience, kindness, unselfishness, and honesty of which Paul speaks come in. You will need all those things and more to keep your love and your marriage strong. I hope you don't see your marriage as a desperate necessity or a losing of self--identity. A good marriage is a wonderful choice that you make to keep on loving one another.
One thing you might note as you look at these candles is that none of them are burning at both ends. There will be times in your marriage when one or both of you will be extremely busy. You may feel like you just pass each other on the go. Short stints of that can actually be invigorating. But if that becomes the pattern of your married life, watch out. A candle burning at both ends doesn't last long. When all your energy is going toward your own individual stuff, who is going to trim the wick and keep the flame going in your marriage? That's not the job of the wife alone, or the husband alone. Marriage is a two--person job. And it takes time. Give yourselves time, (Bride) and (Groom). Don't burn your candles at both ends.
There is one flaw in using candles as a symbol of your eternal love. Candles have a very limited life span. But then, in the whole scope of things, so do we. How can we get eternal love from mortal beings like ourselves? That is when we need to look beyond the candles to the cross. Christ was God's eternal love come to dwell with us, showing us the way to live with a love that does last forever. (Bride) and (Groom), as you vow to share your love with each other forever, remember the Source of eternal love. Add the energy of God's great love for you to your love for each other and nothing can stop your marriage from burning bright and warm forever.
God be with you and give to you that love which is eternal.
