A No-Win Situation
Sermon
PENTECOST FIRE
PREACHING COMMUNITY IN SEASONS OF CHANGE
I think one of the best lessons I have learned in ministry is the lesson of win-win. Have you ever heard of win-win? In a world where win-lose situations seem to dominate our interactions, the discovery of the possibility of building scenarios where everyone can benefit, where everyone can, in effect, win, has been an incredible answer to prayer. In church, community, and family life it has been a powerful way forward on numerous occasions. Recently, an experience in negotiations in a sensitive church situation resulted in a win-win, and it was unbelievable. Former adversaries threatening to leave the church walked out of the room as friends with renewed commitment to the faith community. Those who were once miles apart on some serious issues found themselves looking to common ground and seeking common language. It was a thing of beauty, a moment of grace.
It's a good bet that most of us have been in a win or lose situation. Some, too, have had the blessing of a win-win outcome. But almost certainly, everyone has encountered a no-win situation.
A no-win situation is just one of those times, one of those moments, when no matter where you turn or what you decide, the outcome isn't going to be as good as you had hoped. Sometimes, in fact, it seems that no matter what you do, the outcome will be just plain bad. It's like the story about the young fellow coming home from school who took a side street to avoid bumping into this girl. As he turned the corner, he suddenly found himself confronted by the school bully. What to do? Face a certain beating, or turn and face the girl who made him stutter and blush? Definitely a no-win situation. In another instance, a friend was offered a speaking engagement at a distant university. His children were young and he really didn't want to be away from his family. Neither, however, did he wish to disappoint these folks with a negative answer. So, thinking himself rather smart, he called the university and said he couldn't possibly accept the speaking engagement for less than $6,000, which was more than three times his usual fee. Without hesitation, the voice on the other side of the phone accepted his offer. No-win. Either he leaves his family for a week, or charges more than he knows ethically he should for his services. No-win.
Don't you just hate no-win situations? Perhaps the good news is that everyone seems to experience them at one time or another. Former President Clinton, after hearing from a number of citizens about the lack of United States aid to a beleaguered African country, changed his mind and worked to ensure that country got the aid it needed. Suddenly, his critics were sounding off that he was inconsistent, because he changed his mind. No-win. From presidents to pastors to teachers and back again, everyone finds oneself at some point in a no-win situation. It just seems to be the stuff of life.
Even Jesus had the problem. For him, the problem centered around meeting -- or not meeting -- peoples' expectations. None of us, of course, have that problem. We can hear the tension that Jesus had to confront as we explore this Gospel passage. One can sense his frustration, as he compares the people to a group of children who are never quite satisfied:
"To what shall I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling to one another, 'We played the flute for you and you did not dance; we wailed and you did not mourn.' "
Who among us has not heard the whiny, complaining voices of children who simply are not satisfied by anything. The conundrum is clear. And Jesus gets the point home as he relates it to his own situation.
"For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, 'He has a demon'; the Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, 'Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!' "
Jesus' cousin John was an esthete. He dressed in rough clothes and lived a spartan life. Jesus, on the other hand, loved life. He ate, drank, and spent generous amounts of time at table with friend and foe alike.
They were both equally criticized. No-win.
Jesus says, "Look at my cousin John. He was a real hermit, eating nothing but grasshoppers and honey. You didn't like him much, did you? Well, I'm nothing like that. I sit down and eat a good meal. I love to be with people and celebrate, and you call me a drunk. I just can't win with you people!"
Poor Jesus. It does seem like he couldn't win, doesn't it? Do you think his no-win situations were similar to ours? Do you think that we all fall into these things from time to time? Or do you think perhaps Jesus had an extra strike against him? Interesting.
Win-win. Win-lose. Lose-lose.
Winning and losing is quite important to us, isn't it?
In fact, it's more than "quite important." Winning or losing is really about how the game is played. Some might say that winning or losing is the game. I once saw a bumper sticker that was trying to be funny, but it stated the reality. "It's not how you play the game that matters. It's whether you win or lose." Losing, you see, isn't an option. At least it's not an option if you want to be valued, to be taken seriously, to be considered a real person.
Olympic athletes trying out in most countries work over a series of trials to see if they can get on the team. But in the United States there is one chance, one shot only. You win or you lose. You're on the team, or you're not. You can train for years and years to get on this team, and if you have a bad day -- too bad. You lose.
And Jesus stands at the intersection of our obsession with the game, our insistence on lining everyone up and making them into winners or losers, and challenges us. Jesus, who found himself in the ultimate lose-lose situation calls to us, waving his arms with the children in the square. "To what shall I compare this generation?" I think the truth is that he can't think of anything that compares with us. We are singular in our need to have losers and winners. We, like the critics to whom Jesus is responding, wouldn't like John the Baptist or Jesus. Both of them were losers: one beheaded, the other crucified. Losers.
But still, Jesus calls us, o'er the tumult of competitive lives and says it is, in fact, about how we play the game. Win, lose, or draw, it doesn't matter. Having the most toys, the biggest car, the nicest job, the fanciest church? None of it matters at all. It doesn't matter if you wear camel's hair, eat locusts and honey, and run around baptizing. It doesn't matter if you sit at table with the marginalized and the outcast. The question has to do with faithfulness.
Win-win situations are, of course, wonderful. And as a pastor my hand goes up to vote for that. But the truth is win-win can't always happen. Sometimes "no" is the answer, and there is no way to let everyone win. Sometimes you're the one who loses, and sometimes everyone loses. There really isn't a lot of control that you or I have over things like that. What we can control, though, is our own faithfulness to that which we know is right.
We know it's right to love and lift up others. We know it's right to share the glory. We know it's right to err on the side of compassion and justice. And we know it's right to put right action before victory.
Jesus knew this too. That's why he compared himself to John the Baptist and said, "You didn't like John and you don't like me." He was saying, in effect, that they -- that we -- won't like anyone who doesn't play by the rules.
So they both lost. Or did they? Was Dorothy Day a loser? Was Mahatma Gandhi a loser? Was Martin Luther King, Jr., a loser? All the women and men who have given their lives nonviolently for love -- were they losers? No. For, as Paul writes in his letter to the Church in Rome, "we are more than conquerors through him who loved us" (Romans 8:37). We are better than winners because we have rejected the very idea of winners and losers. We are more than conquerors because we would rather do what is right than win.
No wonder people grow frustrated with Christians. No wonder, too, that Jesus observed wryly that he was in a no-win situation.
But, sisters and brothers, we are not in a no-win situation because we're losing. We are in a no-win situation because we have risen up together to claim victory beyond winning. We have joined arms and hearts to claim that the struggle is over and the battle is done, and the winner is not you or me; it isn't the kid who used to wait after school to beat you up; it isn't the boss who called you a loser. No. The winner in every battle is our wonderful God who has won the victory in Christ Jesus.
As we go forward in ministry to grow and reclaim our Church, let us abandon the notion of winning. Let us ask for God's strength to help us let go of our need for success, and to ask only for the strength to be faithful to God and to God's Living Word, Jesus Christ.
Win, lose, or draw -- it finally doesn't matter. Camel hair and grasshoppers or wine and good company. Win-win, win-lose, no-win. All we need to seek is faithfulness to our calling, to our community, and to our common heart in God's love. Amen.
It's a good bet that most of us have been in a win or lose situation. Some, too, have had the blessing of a win-win outcome. But almost certainly, everyone has encountered a no-win situation.
A no-win situation is just one of those times, one of those moments, when no matter where you turn or what you decide, the outcome isn't going to be as good as you had hoped. Sometimes, in fact, it seems that no matter what you do, the outcome will be just plain bad. It's like the story about the young fellow coming home from school who took a side street to avoid bumping into this girl. As he turned the corner, he suddenly found himself confronted by the school bully. What to do? Face a certain beating, or turn and face the girl who made him stutter and blush? Definitely a no-win situation. In another instance, a friend was offered a speaking engagement at a distant university. His children were young and he really didn't want to be away from his family. Neither, however, did he wish to disappoint these folks with a negative answer. So, thinking himself rather smart, he called the university and said he couldn't possibly accept the speaking engagement for less than $6,000, which was more than three times his usual fee. Without hesitation, the voice on the other side of the phone accepted his offer. No-win. Either he leaves his family for a week, or charges more than he knows ethically he should for his services. No-win.
Don't you just hate no-win situations? Perhaps the good news is that everyone seems to experience them at one time or another. Former President Clinton, after hearing from a number of citizens about the lack of United States aid to a beleaguered African country, changed his mind and worked to ensure that country got the aid it needed. Suddenly, his critics were sounding off that he was inconsistent, because he changed his mind. No-win. From presidents to pastors to teachers and back again, everyone finds oneself at some point in a no-win situation. It just seems to be the stuff of life.
Even Jesus had the problem. For him, the problem centered around meeting -- or not meeting -- peoples' expectations. None of us, of course, have that problem. We can hear the tension that Jesus had to confront as we explore this Gospel passage. One can sense his frustration, as he compares the people to a group of children who are never quite satisfied:
"To what shall I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling to one another, 'We played the flute for you and you did not dance; we wailed and you did not mourn.' "
Who among us has not heard the whiny, complaining voices of children who simply are not satisfied by anything. The conundrum is clear. And Jesus gets the point home as he relates it to his own situation.
"For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, 'He has a demon'; the Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, 'Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!' "
Jesus' cousin John was an esthete. He dressed in rough clothes and lived a spartan life. Jesus, on the other hand, loved life. He ate, drank, and spent generous amounts of time at table with friend and foe alike.
They were both equally criticized. No-win.
Jesus says, "Look at my cousin John. He was a real hermit, eating nothing but grasshoppers and honey. You didn't like him much, did you? Well, I'm nothing like that. I sit down and eat a good meal. I love to be with people and celebrate, and you call me a drunk. I just can't win with you people!"
Poor Jesus. It does seem like he couldn't win, doesn't it? Do you think his no-win situations were similar to ours? Do you think that we all fall into these things from time to time? Or do you think perhaps Jesus had an extra strike against him? Interesting.
Win-win. Win-lose. Lose-lose.
Winning and losing is quite important to us, isn't it?
In fact, it's more than "quite important." Winning or losing is really about how the game is played. Some might say that winning or losing is the game. I once saw a bumper sticker that was trying to be funny, but it stated the reality. "It's not how you play the game that matters. It's whether you win or lose." Losing, you see, isn't an option. At least it's not an option if you want to be valued, to be taken seriously, to be considered a real person.
Olympic athletes trying out in most countries work over a series of trials to see if they can get on the team. But in the United States there is one chance, one shot only. You win or you lose. You're on the team, or you're not. You can train for years and years to get on this team, and if you have a bad day -- too bad. You lose.
And Jesus stands at the intersection of our obsession with the game, our insistence on lining everyone up and making them into winners or losers, and challenges us. Jesus, who found himself in the ultimate lose-lose situation calls to us, waving his arms with the children in the square. "To what shall I compare this generation?" I think the truth is that he can't think of anything that compares with us. We are singular in our need to have losers and winners. We, like the critics to whom Jesus is responding, wouldn't like John the Baptist or Jesus. Both of them were losers: one beheaded, the other crucified. Losers.
But still, Jesus calls us, o'er the tumult of competitive lives and says it is, in fact, about how we play the game. Win, lose, or draw, it doesn't matter. Having the most toys, the biggest car, the nicest job, the fanciest church? None of it matters at all. It doesn't matter if you wear camel's hair, eat locusts and honey, and run around baptizing. It doesn't matter if you sit at table with the marginalized and the outcast. The question has to do with faithfulness.
Win-win situations are, of course, wonderful. And as a pastor my hand goes up to vote for that. But the truth is win-win can't always happen. Sometimes "no" is the answer, and there is no way to let everyone win. Sometimes you're the one who loses, and sometimes everyone loses. There really isn't a lot of control that you or I have over things like that. What we can control, though, is our own faithfulness to that which we know is right.
We know it's right to love and lift up others. We know it's right to share the glory. We know it's right to err on the side of compassion and justice. And we know it's right to put right action before victory.
Jesus knew this too. That's why he compared himself to John the Baptist and said, "You didn't like John and you don't like me." He was saying, in effect, that they -- that we -- won't like anyone who doesn't play by the rules.
So they both lost. Or did they? Was Dorothy Day a loser? Was Mahatma Gandhi a loser? Was Martin Luther King, Jr., a loser? All the women and men who have given their lives nonviolently for love -- were they losers? No. For, as Paul writes in his letter to the Church in Rome, "we are more than conquerors through him who loved us" (Romans 8:37). We are better than winners because we have rejected the very idea of winners and losers. We are more than conquerors because we would rather do what is right than win.
No wonder people grow frustrated with Christians. No wonder, too, that Jesus observed wryly that he was in a no-win situation.
But, sisters and brothers, we are not in a no-win situation because we're losing. We are in a no-win situation because we have risen up together to claim victory beyond winning. We have joined arms and hearts to claim that the struggle is over and the battle is done, and the winner is not you or me; it isn't the kid who used to wait after school to beat you up; it isn't the boss who called you a loser. No. The winner in every battle is our wonderful God who has won the victory in Christ Jesus.
As we go forward in ministry to grow and reclaim our Church, let us abandon the notion of winning. Let us ask for God's strength to help us let go of our need for success, and to ask only for the strength to be faithful to God and to God's Living Word, Jesus Christ.
Win, lose, or draw -- it finally doesn't matter. Camel hair and grasshoppers or wine and good company. Win-win, win-lose, no-win. All we need to seek is faithfulness to our calling, to our community, and to our common heart in God's love. Amen.
