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He said to him, " 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets." (vv. 37--40)


For the final two months of our engagement, my wife moved in with her parents. We went ahead and moved the bulk of her possessions into my house early. One piece of furniture was a gorgeous solid oak antique bed. There was an ornamental piece that stretched across the top of the six--foot--high headboard. It was held in place with wooden pegs. Hadley indicated that the ornamental piece hadn't been used in the past, but she didn't know why.

Two days before our wedding, we found out why. We put the ornamental piece in place. We tested it by shaking the bed. The piece didn't budge so we felt it was secure.

Later that evening, I lay down on the bed while Hadley was packing for our honeymoon. I closed my eyes and clunk - the solid oak ornamental piece knocked me in the forehead, creating a two--inch gash. We called a doctor friend in the church who took me to his office to stitch up the cut.

The next day, our families arrived for the rehearsal to discover the stitched--up scab that looked like a caterpillar on my forehead. That evening at the rehearsal dinner, a deputy sheriff arrived asking for me! It seems a young woman had been assaulted and kidnapped the evening before. Her sister was with her and knocked the assailant in the forehead with a 2 x 4. The police checked the hospital records, and I was a suspect because of my head injury.

Obviously, I didn't do it. I would have remembered assaulting and kidnapping someone, but I was still scared. I was a 25--year--old youth minister and part-time substitute teacher. More than once, I had to gently tell teenaged girls that I was not interested in them romantically. I wondered if some confused young woman was crushed that I would no longer be single: Fatal Attraction, Part Deux.

However, the why really didn't matter. What mattered was that I was going to jail the night before my wedding. The sister of the alleged victim accompanied the deputy sheriff, and she identified me as the kidnapper. Just before being handcuffed, the truth was told. The deputy sheriff was pulling a prank as a favor to one of my friends - an usher in the wedding. But before we could all laugh about it - not that I was in the mood - my best man led the brigade to kidnap me and take me to Dallas, which was a four--hour drive. Joining in on the kidnapping was another friend, one of my brothers, my future brother--in--law, and one of his friends.

I couldn't stop them, but I did convince them to change the destination to Tulsa, which was only an hour and a half away. During the trip, my eyes were extremely uncomfortable because my new gas permeable contacts needed to come out. They continued to cause pain until I was returned home at 4:00 a.m.

By 6:00 a.m., my family members, who were staying with me for the wedding, awakened me. They were getting around to go decorate the church. Due to a scheduling conflict, we hadn't been able to decorate the night before. The wedding was scheduled for 2:00 p.m.

Before I left for the church, I got into an argument with my brother who still couldn't understand why I hadn't wanted to be kidnapped. Then while at the church, I got into an argument with my fianc e. It was my first chance to talk to her since I was almost arrested and then kidnapped. I knew she had some foreknowledge of the arrest, but I didn't know the extent of her involvement. It turned out she only found out moments before I did, and she insisted they end the prank before I was jailed, which had been the plan. Pre--wedding jitters are tough enough without having to deal with them on two hours of sleep.

When I parked my car, I hid it three blocks from the church because I didn't want the kids in my youth group to trash it. Eventually, they came to me asking where it was parked. I fibbed and told them it was in the staff parking lot. When they replied that it wasn't, I became a master thespian and screamed, "Ah, man! Someone's pulled another prank on me and hid my car." My best man told them that I had hid it; it would be nearby and they would find it if they kept looking. They found it, of course, and gave it the "Just Married" treatment. They had tied string all the way around it, shoe polished the windows, and tied tin cans behind. There was more shoe polish on the paint and aluminum wheels.

After the wedding, we cleaned the car and left for our honeymoon. We had a great time and came back a day early so we could settle in to our home together as husband and wife. However when we returned home, we discovered that members of my family had trashed my house. Since some of them had stayed with me for the wedding, they had access after we left for the honeymoon. They had put confetti in magazines, in beds, in silverware drawers, and in cupboards. They had also put Vaseline on doorknobs, cellophane on toilets, and shoe polished messages on mirrors. Our first day in our home together as husband and wife was spent cleaning the house.

To recap: I was hit in the head giving me a scabby forehead for my wedding. I was nearly arrested and, then I was actually kidnapped. I almost called off the wedding. Both my car and house were trashed. All this in a week's time. Believe me, I was angry with a lot of people for a long time.

You know, with friends like these, who needs enemies? To be fair, none of the culprits consulted with the others. This was not a grand conspiracy. Any one prank might have been tolerable, but together they were too much.

But all these events beg the question: Is this how we show love to one another? We wouldn't choose our wedding to take place with beatings, kidnappings, arrests, arguments, and vandalism. We wouldn't love ourselves that way. And yet sometimes we treat others very cruelly - often even in the name of love.