SermonStudio

Theme

What are the things that keep people from following Jesus? Why don't people give themselves freely to the Son of God?

Summary

The three stooges want to follow Jesus but do not know how.

Playing Time
3 minutes
Setting
A church
Props
Three Bibles, three hymnals
Costumes
Double-breasted suits for stooges

Bathrobes for stooges

Curly -- Bowler hat

Jesus -- Hebrew, first century
Time
Now
Cast
JESUS

MOE

LARRY

CURLY

(THREE STOOGES THEME PLAYS. LARRY, CURLY AND MOE SING "HELLO" IN THREE-PART HARMONY AND THEN SAY "HELLO")

CURLY: Where are we?

MOE: Can't you see? We're in a church. (TO CURLY) Take off your hat. (CURLY TAKES OFF HIS HAT WITH HIS RIGHT HAND. MOE PICKS UP THREE BIBLES AND THREE HYMNBOOKS AND HANDS TWO OF EACH TO LARRY, WHO TAKES ONE OF EACH AND HANDS ONE OF EACH TO CURLY)

LARRY: (CURLY GETS A BIG BIBLE) Here, take this. You need this. (CURLY PUTS HIS HAT ON TO TAKE BIBLE WITH HIS RIGHT HAND AND THE HYMNBOOK WITH HIS LEFT HAND)

MOE: I said, take off your hat. You're in a church. (CURLY GIVES THE HYMNBOOK BACK TO LARRY, WHO HANDS IT TO MOE, WHO SLAPS HIM ON THE FOREHEAD. CURLY TAKES HIS HAT OFF WITH HIS LEFT HAND)

MOE: (TO CURLY) That's better. (TO LARRY) What are you giving this to me for? (MOE PUNCHES LARRY IN THE CHIN AND HANDS THE HYMNBOOK BACK TO LARRY, WHO GIVES IT BACK TO CURLY, WHO HAS TO PUT HIS HAT BACK ON TO TAKE IT)

MOE: (TO CURLY) You are being disrespectful. I said take off your hat. (CURLY GIVES BIBLE TO LARRY AND THEN TAKES HIS HAT OFF WITH HIS RIGHT HAND. LARRY GIVES THE BIBLE TO MOE)

MOE: You two don't know how to behave in a church. Why don't you leave? (CURLY AND LARRY START TO LEAVE AND BUMP INTO EACH OTHER AND KNOCK EACH OTHER DOWN)

MOE: Now straighten up. (TO LARRY) Don't give me this. (HANDS BIBLE BACK TO LARRY, WHO HANDS IT BACK TO CURLY, WHO PUTS HIS HAT ON TO TAKE IT. TO CURLY) Take your hat off!

(THEY GO THROUGH THE SAME ROUTINE AGAIN)

MOE: Will you stop it! This is a church. You are supposed to act respectable in a church. We're here to find Jesus so we can follow him. (JESUS IS WALKING PAST)

MOE: Now look, there's Jesus. You two stay here. I'm going to talk to Jesus. (TO JESUS) Jesus, I'll follow you wherever you go.

JESUS: Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head. (MOE IS DAZED. JESUS SEES LARRY) Follow me.

LARRY: Lord, let me first go and bury my father.

JESUS: Leave the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God. (LARRY IS DAZED)

CURLY: I can do better than that. Watch me. (TO JESUS) I'll follow you, Lord; but let me first say bye-bye to my family.

JESUS: No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God. (CURLY IS DAZED)

LARRY: Well, that about does it for us, then, doesn't it.

MOE: (PULLING LARRY'S HAIR) What happened? I said I would follow Jesus and he tells me about the nesting habits of birds. I don't get it.

CURLY: I wanted a teensie-weensie little farewell party. I never put my hand to a plow. I wouldn't put my hand to a plow. I don't want to touch a plow.

MOE: (JABBING CURLY IN THE EYES) Will you stop it? I just want to follow Jesus.

CURLY: Then why are you standing here? Why don't you follow him? (STARTS TO FOLLOW LARRY CLOSELY; LARRY FOLLOWS MOE CLOSELY)

MOE:
(HITS HIS HAND, WHO IN TURN HITS CURLY) You heard what he said. He told me about fox homes.

CURLY: What's that got to do with following him?

MOE: I don't know. How should I know? Do I know everything?

MOE: (STOPS ABRUPTLY, OTHERS BUMP INTO EACH OTHER. MOE SLAPS EACH ONE OF THEM IN SUCCESSION) Will you two get serious. I want to follow Jesus.

LARRY: (RAISING HIS HAND) Me, too.

CURLY: (RAISING HIS HAND) Me, three.

MOE: (SLAPS EACH OF THEIR HANDS AND THEIR HANDS SLAP EACH OTHER'S FACE) Pay attention. We must have a plan. How can we follow Jesus?

CURLY: (CREEPING AROUND MOE) We could creep up on him. (MOE BOPS HIM ON THE HEAD)

LARRY: (RUNNING INTO MOE, KNOCKING THEM BOTH DOWN) We could run after him. (MOE PINCHES LARRY'S NOSE AND THEN HITS HIS FIST WITH HIS OTHER HAND)

MOE: No. Now listen; we're intelligent fellows.

CURLY: We are? (MOE KICKS HIM IN THE REAR)

LARRY: Don't do that. You might hurt his intelligence. (MOE KICKS HIM)

MOE: As I was remarking, we are intelligent fellows and we can figure out a way to follow Jesus.

CURLY: Without plowing, I hope. (MOE KNOCKS HIM DOWN. CURLY FALLS INTO LARRY AND KNOCKS HIM DOWN)

MOE: Yes, without plowing and without living with the foxes and birds. Here's the plan. We'll dress like Jesus and then He'll think we're some of His disciples.

CURLY: His despicables?

MOE: Never mind. (HANDING THEM ROBES WHICH THEY PUT ON) Put these on.

LARRY: I feel funny.

MOE: You look funny. (HAIR PULL)

CURLY: I never wore a dress before.

MOE: These are bathrobes. (EYE PUNCH)

CURLY: I never took a bath before.

MOE: Okay, now we look like disciples.

CURLY: Despisibles?

MOE: Never mind. Follow me.

CURLY: I don't want to follow you. I want to follow Jesus.

MOE: (BONKS THEIR HEAD TOGETHER) Behave and walk this way. (LARRY AND CURLY WALK LIKE MOE)

MOE: (PRESENTING HIMSELF TO JESUS) We are ready to follow you, Jesus.

JESUS: Your flesh is willing but your mind is weak.

MOE: What about the spirit?

JESUS: Your spirit is even weaker. Take up your cross and follow me.

CURLY: Oh, no. More things to carry.

MOE: (DOUBLE SLAP) Never mind them, Jesus. Why not just take me?

JESUS: Why not just take me?

CURLY: I don't understand.

JESUS: Trust me.

CURLY: Just trust you?

JESUS: You believe in God; believe in me, too.

MOE: That sounds easy.

LARRY: It sounds too easy.

MOE: (NOSE PUNCH) Don't argue with Jesus.

JESUS: When you're ready, come see me.

MOE: We will. (CURLY AND LARRY CHIME IN WITH HARMONY)

LARRY AND CURLY: We will. (MOE, CURLY AND LARRY EXIT)

JESUS: Don't try this at home. (JESUS EXITS)