Proper 6 | Ordinary Time 11
Preaching
Lectionary Preaching Workbook
Series VIII, Cycle B
Revised Common
1 Samuel 15:34--16:13
2 Corinthians 5:6-10 (11-13) 14-17
Mark 4:26-34
Roman Catholic
Ezekiel 17:22-24
2 Corinthians 5:6-10
Mark 4:26-34
Episcopal
Ezekiel 37:1-6, 10-14
2 Corinthians 5:1-10
Mark 4:26-34
Theme For The Day
A primary task of fatherhood is the symbolic anointing of children.
Old Testament Lesson
1 Samuel 15:34--16:13
Samuel Anoints David As King, Replacing Saul
Some background: in 15:26, Samuel rejects Saul's confession of sin, refusing to accompany the king any longer. In a poignant scene, the king reaches out to grasp the edge of the prophet's robe, tearing it. "The Lord has torn the kingdom of Israel from you this very day," Samuel responds at the time (v. 28). Now, in verse 35b, we learn that "the Lord was sorry that he had made Saul king over Israel." The Lord directs Samuel to stop moping, to fill his horn with anointing-oil, and seek out the sons of Jesse, from among whom God has chosen a successor to Saul (16:1). There is a clandestine nature to this undertaking -- which is, in effect, a secret coronation. The Lord gives Samuel a cover story: he is to take a sacrificial cow with him, explaining his visit to Bethlehem as a religious, and not a political, mission. The fact that the village elders respond to Samuel's arrival with alarm suggests that he is indeed a powerful political figure in Israel; it's likely that news of the rift between the king and his chief prophet has reached their ears (v. 4). Samuel examines seven promising-looking sons of Jesse, one by one, but the Lord rejects them all. It is only then that he discovers there is an eighth son, David, who is out watching the sheep. Samuel orders that David be brought, and the Lord indicates that he is the one. Although the Lord has previously indicated that it is not outward appearance that matters, but a faithful heart, the author can't resist adding that David is "ruddy, and [has] beautiful eyes, and [is] handsome" (v. 12). Samuel anoints David, with his brothers for witnesses (v. 13). Verses 14-16 describe Saul's descent into madness, and set the scene for the entry of David into the royal court as a musician. The scriptures take pains to point out that, in the choice of David as king, the initiative belongs wholly to God.
Alternate Old Testament Lesson
Ezekiel 17:22-24
The Lord Will Plant A New Tree On Mount Zion
Speaking in metaphorical terms, the prophet declares that the Lord will plant a new tree on Mount Zion. Taking "a sprig from the lofty top of a cedar," the Lord will plant it, and in time it will mature into a tree that will provide many benefits. "I bring low the high tree, I make high the low tree" -- God, in other words, will establish a new ruler for Israel, to offer the blessings of the Davidic kingship.
New Testament Lesson
2 Corinthians 5:6-10 (11-13) 14-17
A New Creation
On the subject of eternal life, Paul has just reassured the people that "if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens" (v. 1). Now we hear him speaking of supreme confidence in the Lord, because in this life "we walk by faith, not by sight" (v. 7). Knowing what he knows about life and death, the apostle admits that he naturally feels desire to be "away from the body and at home with the Lord" -- although that is not what God wills for him at the present time (v. 8). Because Christ died for all, those who realize this truth must now live no longer for ourselves, but for him (v. 15). We must regard others no longer "from a human point of view" (literally, "according to the flesh"), but as God sees them (v. 16). That new vision, Paul says, is that "if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!" (v. 17). Conventional wisdom affirms, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." In this great verse, Paul contradicts that pessimistic old saw by affirming that, in Christ, rebirth and renewal are always possible. Paul's assertion that Christ "died for all" (v. 15) is cryptic; there has been much debate over what the apostle means by it. Is it an offer of salvation to all, or is that salvation an accomplished fact (universalism)?
The Gospel
Mark 4:26-34
Seed Parables
We return now to the Gospel of Mark, after our long, Easter-season sojourn in Johannine literature. This passage contains three separate pericopes: the parable of the growing seed, the parable of the mustard seed, and a brief postscript in which Mark explains Jesus' use of parables. These are among the most elegantly simple of Jesus' parables: an allusion to the miracle of growing plants as symbolic of the coming reign of God, and another parable that focuses in on a particular type of seed, the mustard seed. That type of seed is the smallest and seemingly least significant of all, but it grows into an impressive plant. Jesus, here, reflects on a universal human experience: the feeling of wonder as we observe the growth of the natural world around us. Even today, with all that we know about biology, there is still something mysterious about that growth. Science has still not been able to define the life-force that is at the heart of the natural world. Farmers may manipulate nature in order to produce the most useful crops, but in the final analysis it is God who is responsible. Jesus is saying here, too, that the signs of God's reign in our midst may seem insignificant and nearly invisible: but just wait, they will result in remarkable growth.
Preaching Possibilities
Because this is Father's Day in the United States, the story from 1 Samuel of Jesse and his sons provides an excellent opportunity to consider the theme of fatherhood. "For the Lord does not see as mortals do; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7b). A good father is one who aspires to "look on the heart" in just such a way.
Jesse has eight sons, and who knows how many daughters -- but the name of only one of them has become a household word: David, the greatest of Israel's kings. Today's passage begins the story of how David came to be king over Israel.
God has decided it's time for a change: King Saul isn't working out so well, so God dispatches the Prophet Samuel on a secret mission: to go find the sons of Jesse, look them over, and see which one is to be the new king. Samuel doesn't ask how he'll recognize the new king; that's God's department.
The first one to step forward is Eliab -- and a fine example of Israelite manhood he is, too. Samuel's all set to whip out his vial of anointing-oil and do the prophetic deed when God interrupts him, saying, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart."
One by one, Jesse parades his other sons before Samuel. Guided by the Lord, he rejects each one in turn. Finally, he ascertains that there is another son, and when David is at last brought before him, he is the one who passes the Lord's heart-test. Samuel reaches, mysteriously, into the folds of his robe, and pulls out a horn -- in which is stored a carefully prepared supply of scented olive oil. He uncorks the horn, and pours the oil over young David's head. Then all the sons of Jesse know that David, the youngest among them, is destined to be king over Israel.
Yet what about those older brothers? As they paraded by that venerable, snowy-haired gentleman, the last living judge of Israel, they may not have known they were auditioning for kingship -- but as they regard their youngest brother standing there, oil dripping down from his hair onto his tunic, and that giddy smile on his face, do they feel they have missed out? Why is it David, and not them, who has received the anointing?
This whole concept of anointing is symbolic of what children receive from their fathers (in the ideal world, anyway). Samuel wasn't David's father, of course, but in this story he steps into a fatherly role: blessing the boy who is on the verge of manhood, and performing for him a simple ritual he will remember all his life. Maybe, as David will shortly stand before the hulking champion Goliath, twirling his sling as it gradually picks up speed, he will remember the smell of that scented oil, and all that it symbolizes.
Fathers don't receive a lot of encouragement, in our society, for taking that role -- for anointing their children. The shadow of John Wayne (or maybe, today, Clint Eastwood) looms large: the strong and silent figure riding off into the sunset, his work completed, the grateful women and children left behind. "Maw, who was that masked man?"... "I don't know -- but he left a silver bullet!"
Some of the writers of today's Men's Movement have zeroed in on this particular deficit -- especially as it relates to sons. It used to be that men worked in the fields, or in a cottage industry at home, and sons got to watch them, as day succeeded day, doing their work. Yet beginning with the Industrial Age, and continuing on into today's Information Age, many men leave home in the morning -- sometimes even in the dark -- and never see their children until evening.
According to one study of two-parent households, fewer than 25 percent of young children experience an hour or more per day of contact with their fathers. The average daily amount of one-to-one father / child contact reported in this country is less than thirty minutes. Almost twenty percent of junior-high and high-schoolers have not had a good conversation with either of their parents, lasting more than ten minutes, in more than a month. All this, according to the poet Robert Bly, can lead to a kind of hunger -- especially as sons seek to relate to fathers. It used to be, Bly writes, that "standing next to the father, as they repair arrowheads, or repair plows, or wash pistons in gasoline, or care for birthing animals, the son's body has the chance to retune. Slowly, over months or years, the son's body-strings begin to resonate to the harsh, sometimes demanding, testily humorous, irreverent, impatient, opinionated, forward-driven, silence-loving older masculine body. Both male and female cells carry marvelous music, but the son needs to resonate to the masculine frequency as well as to the female frequency" (Robert Bly, Iron John [New York: Random House, 1999]).
The whole subject of Father's Day may not be a happy one for everyone. There are many who gladly honor their fathers, but there are others who find that difficult. They find it difficult because they are still mourning their fathers' passing -- maybe a literal passing, because the grief-wound is recent; or maybe a figurative passing, for the wound has simply never healed.
Some adults -- both male and female -- have yearned to be anointed, as Samuel anointed David, but have never had that experience. They watched other young people receive it -- maybe at the time they learned to drive, or graduated, or came to church to get married -- but they never did.
There's not any single occasion in life at which the anointing ought to take place; most often it's a process, extending over many years. Every time a parent says to a child, "You've done well" -- or even, "You've made a mistake, but I still love you" -- that child is anointed, set apart, for the task of responsible adulthood.
The anointing is part of the essential equipment for striking out on one's own, in life. You can't take it out and inspect it later (any more than David could call forth Samuel's horn of oil) -- but you can cherish it, in heart and mind and memory. And no matter what may happen in life, the anointing is like an educational degree: no one, but no one can take it away from you.
But what of those haven't received it? How do they satisfy the hunger within? The answer is a very ancient ritual of the church -- one that, in some traditions, is still associated with anointing-oil. It's baptism. Through remembering our baptism, we can experience a sense of having been anointed by God to a life not of kingship, but of discipleship -- after the example of Jesus Christ.
Prayer For The Day
Today, Lord, we celebrate fatherhood -- the real, as well as the ideal. We celebrate those men who courageously take that role on -- though society these days gives them precious little encouragement and few positive examples. We celebrate the men who can be tender as well as tough; present as well as providing; who are faithful to their God, their wives and their children. May we always hold up such a way as an example -- and let us encourage more men to live it! Amen.
To Illustrate
There's a story of a Roman Catholic nun who works as a prison chaplain. One day an inmate came to her, and asked if she could find him a Mother's Day card he could send. She had the bright idea of asking a greeting card manufacturer to donate some. They donated a whole case, as it turned out, and the sister handed them out to many a grateful inmate.
A few weeks later, Father's Day came around, and the nun approached the same greeting-card manufacturer. Sure enough, the case of cards arrived -- only this time, things were different. Not a single inmate would accept a Father's Day card from her, not even a free one. Years later, the sister still had the entire case of cards sitting in her closet. Such is the impact of missing one's fatherly anointing.
***
The Irish-born actress Roma Downey was one of the stars of television's Touched By An Angel. When she was twenty years old, her father died. Before he died, however, he anointed his daughter. He did so very simply, and in a rather unusual place: in his hospital room, on his deathbed.
Of all the things he could have shared with his daughter, at that moment, he chose this (and to this day, she declares, she finds it empowering): "Remember," he told her, "if you can bury your dad, you can do anything." What a gift of courage that man gave, in naming his own death -- so his daughter wouldn't have to name it alone!
***
These words were written by a man who evidently feels some regrets about the amount of time he spent with his children:
If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self-esteem first and the house later.
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often.
I would be firm less often and affirm much more.
I'd model less about the love of power and more about the power of love.
***
Our most painful suffering often comes from those who love us and those we love. The relationships between husband and wife, parents and children, brothers and sisters, teachers and students, pastors and parishioners -- these are where our deepest wounds occur. Even late in life, yes, even after those who wounded us have long since died, we might still need help to sort out what happened in these relationships. The great temptation is to keep blaming those who were closest to us for our present condition, saying: "You made me who I am now, and I hate who I am." The great challenge is to acknowledge our hurts and claim our true selves as being more than the result of what other people do to us. Only when we can claim our God-made selves as the true source of our being will we be free to forgive those who have wounded us.
-- Henri J. M. Nouwen, Bread for the Journey (New York: HarperCollins, 1997)
***
Any fool can have a trophy wife. It takes a real man to have a trophy marriage.
-- Diane Sollee
***
Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.
-- Robert Fulghum
1 Samuel 15:34--16:13
2 Corinthians 5:6-10 (11-13) 14-17
Mark 4:26-34
Roman Catholic
Ezekiel 17:22-24
2 Corinthians 5:6-10
Mark 4:26-34
Episcopal
Ezekiel 37:1-6, 10-14
2 Corinthians 5:1-10
Mark 4:26-34
Theme For The Day
A primary task of fatherhood is the symbolic anointing of children.
Old Testament Lesson
1 Samuel 15:34--16:13
Samuel Anoints David As King, Replacing Saul
Some background: in 15:26, Samuel rejects Saul's confession of sin, refusing to accompany the king any longer. In a poignant scene, the king reaches out to grasp the edge of the prophet's robe, tearing it. "The Lord has torn the kingdom of Israel from you this very day," Samuel responds at the time (v. 28). Now, in verse 35b, we learn that "the Lord was sorry that he had made Saul king over Israel." The Lord directs Samuel to stop moping, to fill his horn with anointing-oil, and seek out the sons of Jesse, from among whom God has chosen a successor to Saul (16:1). There is a clandestine nature to this undertaking -- which is, in effect, a secret coronation. The Lord gives Samuel a cover story: he is to take a sacrificial cow with him, explaining his visit to Bethlehem as a religious, and not a political, mission. The fact that the village elders respond to Samuel's arrival with alarm suggests that he is indeed a powerful political figure in Israel; it's likely that news of the rift between the king and his chief prophet has reached their ears (v. 4). Samuel examines seven promising-looking sons of Jesse, one by one, but the Lord rejects them all. It is only then that he discovers there is an eighth son, David, who is out watching the sheep. Samuel orders that David be brought, and the Lord indicates that he is the one. Although the Lord has previously indicated that it is not outward appearance that matters, but a faithful heart, the author can't resist adding that David is "ruddy, and [has] beautiful eyes, and [is] handsome" (v. 12). Samuel anoints David, with his brothers for witnesses (v. 13). Verses 14-16 describe Saul's descent into madness, and set the scene for the entry of David into the royal court as a musician. The scriptures take pains to point out that, in the choice of David as king, the initiative belongs wholly to God.
Alternate Old Testament Lesson
Ezekiel 17:22-24
The Lord Will Plant A New Tree On Mount Zion
Speaking in metaphorical terms, the prophet declares that the Lord will plant a new tree on Mount Zion. Taking "a sprig from the lofty top of a cedar," the Lord will plant it, and in time it will mature into a tree that will provide many benefits. "I bring low the high tree, I make high the low tree" -- God, in other words, will establish a new ruler for Israel, to offer the blessings of the Davidic kingship.
New Testament Lesson
2 Corinthians 5:6-10 (11-13) 14-17
A New Creation
On the subject of eternal life, Paul has just reassured the people that "if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens" (v. 1). Now we hear him speaking of supreme confidence in the Lord, because in this life "we walk by faith, not by sight" (v. 7). Knowing what he knows about life and death, the apostle admits that he naturally feels desire to be "away from the body and at home with the Lord" -- although that is not what God wills for him at the present time (v. 8). Because Christ died for all, those who realize this truth must now live no longer for ourselves, but for him (v. 15). We must regard others no longer "from a human point of view" (literally, "according to the flesh"), but as God sees them (v. 16). That new vision, Paul says, is that "if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!" (v. 17). Conventional wisdom affirms, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." In this great verse, Paul contradicts that pessimistic old saw by affirming that, in Christ, rebirth and renewal are always possible. Paul's assertion that Christ "died for all" (v. 15) is cryptic; there has been much debate over what the apostle means by it. Is it an offer of salvation to all, or is that salvation an accomplished fact (universalism)?
The Gospel
Mark 4:26-34
Seed Parables
We return now to the Gospel of Mark, after our long, Easter-season sojourn in Johannine literature. This passage contains three separate pericopes: the parable of the growing seed, the parable of the mustard seed, and a brief postscript in which Mark explains Jesus' use of parables. These are among the most elegantly simple of Jesus' parables: an allusion to the miracle of growing plants as symbolic of the coming reign of God, and another parable that focuses in on a particular type of seed, the mustard seed. That type of seed is the smallest and seemingly least significant of all, but it grows into an impressive plant. Jesus, here, reflects on a universal human experience: the feeling of wonder as we observe the growth of the natural world around us. Even today, with all that we know about biology, there is still something mysterious about that growth. Science has still not been able to define the life-force that is at the heart of the natural world. Farmers may manipulate nature in order to produce the most useful crops, but in the final analysis it is God who is responsible. Jesus is saying here, too, that the signs of God's reign in our midst may seem insignificant and nearly invisible: but just wait, they will result in remarkable growth.
Preaching Possibilities
Because this is Father's Day in the United States, the story from 1 Samuel of Jesse and his sons provides an excellent opportunity to consider the theme of fatherhood. "For the Lord does not see as mortals do; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7b). A good father is one who aspires to "look on the heart" in just such a way.
Jesse has eight sons, and who knows how many daughters -- but the name of only one of them has become a household word: David, the greatest of Israel's kings. Today's passage begins the story of how David came to be king over Israel.
God has decided it's time for a change: King Saul isn't working out so well, so God dispatches the Prophet Samuel on a secret mission: to go find the sons of Jesse, look them over, and see which one is to be the new king. Samuel doesn't ask how he'll recognize the new king; that's God's department.
The first one to step forward is Eliab -- and a fine example of Israelite manhood he is, too. Samuel's all set to whip out his vial of anointing-oil and do the prophetic deed when God interrupts him, saying, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart."
One by one, Jesse parades his other sons before Samuel. Guided by the Lord, he rejects each one in turn. Finally, he ascertains that there is another son, and when David is at last brought before him, he is the one who passes the Lord's heart-test. Samuel reaches, mysteriously, into the folds of his robe, and pulls out a horn -- in which is stored a carefully prepared supply of scented olive oil. He uncorks the horn, and pours the oil over young David's head. Then all the sons of Jesse know that David, the youngest among them, is destined to be king over Israel.
Yet what about those older brothers? As they paraded by that venerable, snowy-haired gentleman, the last living judge of Israel, they may not have known they were auditioning for kingship -- but as they regard their youngest brother standing there, oil dripping down from his hair onto his tunic, and that giddy smile on his face, do they feel they have missed out? Why is it David, and not them, who has received the anointing?
This whole concept of anointing is symbolic of what children receive from their fathers (in the ideal world, anyway). Samuel wasn't David's father, of course, but in this story he steps into a fatherly role: blessing the boy who is on the verge of manhood, and performing for him a simple ritual he will remember all his life. Maybe, as David will shortly stand before the hulking champion Goliath, twirling his sling as it gradually picks up speed, he will remember the smell of that scented oil, and all that it symbolizes.
Fathers don't receive a lot of encouragement, in our society, for taking that role -- for anointing their children. The shadow of John Wayne (or maybe, today, Clint Eastwood) looms large: the strong and silent figure riding off into the sunset, his work completed, the grateful women and children left behind. "Maw, who was that masked man?"... "I don't know -- but he left a silver bullet!"
Some of the writers of today's Men's Movement have zeroed in on this particular deficit -- especially as it relates to sons. It used to be that men worked in the fields, or in a cottage industry at home, and sons got to watch them, as day succeeded day, doing their work. Yet beginning with the Industrial Age, and continuing on into today's Information Age, many men leave home in the morning -- sometimes even in the dark -- and never see their children until evening.
According to one study of two-parent households, fewer than 25 percent of young children experience an hour or more per day of contact with their fathers. The average daily amount of one-to-one father / child contact reported in this country is less than thirty minutes. Almost twenty percent of junior-high and high-schoolers have not had a good conversation with either of their parents, lasting more than ten minutes, in more than a month. All this, according to the poet Robert Bly, can lead to a kind of hunger -- especially as sons seek to relate to fathers. It used to be, Bly writes, that "standing next to the father, as they repair arrowheads, or repair plows, or wash pistons in gasoline, or care for birthing animals, the son's body has the chance to retune. Slowly, over months or years, the son's body-strings begin to resonate to the harsh, sometimes demanding, testily humorous, irreverent, impatient, opinionated, forward-driven, silence-loving older masculine body. Both male and female cells carry marvelous music, but the son needs to resonate to the masculine frequency as well as to the female frequency" (Robert Bly, Iron John [New York: Random House, 1999]).
The whole subject of Father's Day may not be a happy one for everyone. There are many who gladly honor their fathers, but there are others who find that difficult. They find it difficult because they are still mourning their fathers' passing -- maybe a literal passing, because the grief-wound is recent; or maybe a figurative passing, for the wound has simply never healed.
Some adults -- both male and female -- have yearned to be anointed, as Samuel anointed David, but have never had that experience. They watched other young people receive it -- maybe at the time they learned to drive, or graduated, or came to church to get married -- but they never did.
There's not any single occasion in life at which the anointing ought to take place; most often it's a process, extending over many years. Every time a parent says to a child, "You've done well" -- or even, "You've made a mistake, but I still love you" -- that child is anointed, set apart, for the task of responsible adulthood.
The anointing is part of the essential equipment for striking out on one's own, in life. You can't take it out and inspect it later (any more than David could call forth Samuel's horn of oil) -- but you can cherish it, in heart and mind and memory. And no matter what may happen in life, the anointing is like an educational degree: no one, but no one can take it away from you.
But what of those haven't received it? How do they satisfy the hunger within? The answer is a very ancient ritual of the church -- one that, in some traditions, is still associated with anointing-oil. It's baptism. Through remembering our baptism, we can experience a sense of having been anointed by God to a life not of kingship, but of discipleship -- after the example of Jesus Christ.
Prayer For The Day
Today, Lord, we celebrate fatherhood -- the real, as well as the ideal. We celebrate those men who courageously take that role on -- though society these days gives them precious little encouragement and few positive examples. We celebrate the men who can be tender as well as tough; present as well as providing; who are faithful to their God, their wives and their children. May we always hold up such a way as an example -- and let us encourage more men to live it! Amen.
To Illustrate
There's a story of a Roman Catholic nun who works as a prison chaplain. One day an inmate came to her, and asked if she could find him a Mother's Day card he could send. She had the bright idea of asking a greeting card manufacturer to donate some. They donated a whole case, as it turned out, and the sister handed them out to many a grateful inmate.
A few weeks later, Father's Day came around, and the nun approached the same greeting-card manufacturer. Sure enough, the case of cards arrived -- only this time, things were different. Not a single inmate would accept a Father's Day card from her, not even a free one. Years later, the sister still had the entire case of cards sitting in her closet. Such is the impact of missing one's fatherly anointing.
***
The Irish-born actress Roma Downey was one of the stars of television's Touched By An Angel. When she was twenty years old, her father died. Before he died, however, he anointed his daughter. He did so very simply, and in a rather unusual place: in his hospital room, on his deathbed.
Of all the things he could have shared with his daughter, at that moment, he chose this (and to this day, she declares, she finds it empowering): "Remember," he told her, "if you can bury your dad, you can do anything." What a gift of courage that man gave, in naming his own death -- so his daughter wouldn't have to name it alone!
***
These words were written by a man who evidently feels some regrets about the amount of time he spent with his children:
If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self-esteem first and the house later.
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often.
I would be firm less often and affirm much more.
I'd model less about the love of power and more about the power of love.
***
Our most painful suffering often comes from those who love us and those we love. The relationships between husband and wife, parents and children, brothers and sisters, teachers and students, pastors and parishioners -- these are where our deepest wounds occur. Even late in life, yes, even after those who wounded us have long since died, we might still need help to sort out what happened in these relationships. The great temptation is to keep blaming those who were closest to us for our present condition, saying: "You made me who I am now, and I hate who I am." The great challenge is to acknowledge our hurts and claim our true selves as being more than the result of what other people do to us. Only when we can claim our God-made selves as the true source of our being will we be free to forgive those who have wounded us.
-- Henri J. M. Nouwen, Bread for the Journey (New York: HarperCollins, 1997)
***
Any fool can have a trophy wife. It takes a real man to have a trophy marriage.
-- Diane Sollee
***
Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.
-- Robert Fulghum
