Robin Hood?
Drama
Lectionary Scenes
57 Vignettes For Cycle A
Theme
Jesus, when He taught the kingdom truths in His Sermon on the Mount, turned the values of the world upside down.
Summary
Robin Hood is questioned about his practice of stealing and decides to quit.
Playing Time: 6 minutes
Costumes: Legendary
Props: Robin -- an apple with an arrow through it
Place: Sherwood Forest
Time: The time of legends
Cast: ROBIN HOOD
FRIAR TUCK
LITTLE JOHN
ROBIN HOOD: (ENTERS CARRYING AN APPLE WITH AN ARROW PIERCING IT) Ho, there.
LITTLE JOHN: (TAKES APPLE AND BEGINS TO EAT IT) Foresooth! What sight from yonder verdant wood do I see? Robin, the most wanted outlaw entereth having killed an apple. The hunted becomes the hunter, indeed. Didst thou sneakily track its tender trail through the rooky wood, catching it napping or didst thou warily sneaketh upon it whilst it paused, mayhap drinking its fill from a placid pool? Ah, alas much more, wouldst I be haply viewing a fine antlered specimen from the King's own herd.
ROBIN: Shuteth thy overstuffed mouth, John Little, thou louty layabout! Whilst I risketh my life amongst the wild furzy wood thou resteth here safe by thy fire.
JOHN: It doth thee no good, Sir Hoodlum, to rail upon my poor station. He who guardeth is worth the equal of he who hunteth -- especially if he who hunteth, hunteth for apples.
ROBIN: If needs thee to know my work, John, and I think not that thou needeth, I shooteth the apple for practice solely. (GRABBING THE APPLE BACK FROM JOHN)
JOHN: Well, seedlings and blossoms, Robin, what dost thou supposeth me to eat?
ROBIN: Not my apple, surely, for by thy bearded grandmother I chooseth an apple that was the home of a worm.
JOHN: Yuketh! What then? There hath been this long and dreary fortnight no meat of which to speaketh.
ROBIN: Remembereth thou not the sumptuous meal that was luxuriously laid before us only yesterday?
JOHN: I remembereth it well, Robin, but I remembereth that it consisteth of the bean of soy -- faux hamburger.
ROBIN: Well, fee fie faux foo and fow to thou. Faux, indeed. Knowest not, friend John, that I ordereth that fare ...
JOHN: Faux fare.
ROBIN: That I ordereth that fare full knowing the contents thereof? In truth I doeth it for thine own sake.
JOHN: Sayeth not so, Robin?
ROBIN: In truth I sayeth. Knoweth thee not that I knoweth all concerning nutrition?
JOHN: Huh?
ROBIN: Thou lamest of brains, nutrition is something that havest to do with what thou eatest.
JOHN: Oh, yeah.
ROBIN: The bean of soy is good for thy digestion.
JOHN: Huh?
ROBIN: Never thee mind, dear friend John. The explaining of it would take too long. And the understanding, never.
FRIAR TUCK: (ENTERS) Hail, Robin.
ROBIN: And a hi-thee-well to thee, fair companion, this day, Friar.
JOHN: Thou art well met, Friar Tuck. Didst thou see any game about?
FRIAR: Nary a hare. (GRABBING APPLE FROM ROBIN AND BITING INTO IT) Yuketh!
JOHN: What couldst be the problem?
FRIAR: I think, dear friends, that the dearth of game must be causeth by a lack of animals.
ROBIN: Yea, verily. Although the truth of which you speak soundeth tinny to my ear.
JOHN: All gone? All the animals vanisheth?
ROBIN: What will we do? We cannot, in all truth, live longer in this tranquil glade without game to eat.
FRIAR: I supposeth we will have needs to revert to our old ways.
JOHN: Nay, tell me not the truth.
ROBIN: Dost thou mean ... ?
FRIAR: Yea, and verily. We must needs henceforth work for our living.
ROBIN: Drat! That it cometh to this.
JOHN: Do I read your meaning thus -- we must needs be the farmers that raiseth the bean of soy?
FRIAR: Ah, tis true. Tis true. We must, by the sweat of our brow, till the unkind earth.
ROBIN: But we are unused to such labor. We shall falter in the doing of it.
FRIAR: And why are thou so unused to work, Robin?
ROBIN: Why, thou knowest truly, good Friar. I was trained to rob and steal, of course. Thou knowest this?
JOHN: Yea and verily. It is what we do best, is it not?
FRIAR: It is a truth, surely. It is what we do best, but I thinkest to myself that it is not the will of Almighty God, who rulest the vast universe.
ROBIN: But, kind Friar, and dearest friend, Almighty God, who rules our lives, cannot intend for us to allow the mean Sheriff to continue stealing from the poor.
FRIAR: Hast thou tried prayer, Robin?
JOHN: Art thou of a serious nature whenst thou suggesteth that?
FRIAR: I am, verily.
ROBIN: But how could prayer help our situation? We are men of action.
FRIAR: I fully understand your situation.
JOHN: And this play is supposed to be a play of action. I ain't seen nary a battle yet.
FRIAR: Dear friend, duck your sweaty head in a pail of patience.
JOHN: Why, I ought to ... (HE GRABS FOR THE FRIAR)
ROBIN: Be resourceful with thine energy, John. Let Tuck say his say. Continue. I wouldest knoweth more of this prayer.
FRIAR: Firstly, the Bible teaches us to pray for those who rule over us.
JOHN: The Bible? When did he learn to readeth?
ROBIN: Never thee mind.
FRIAR: I cannot readeth, of course, but I heardeth the Abbot readeth the Bible once.
JOHN: Once!
ROBIN: Shhh-eth!
FRIAR: Secondly, we knoweth that stealing is against the law.
JOHN: Telleth that to King John. He's been stealing from the people since his incarnation.
ROBIN: Not "incarnation," thou denseth of dunces. The word you want is "incarceration." Since the king's incarceration.
FRIAR: Not "incarceration" or "incarnation." Thou misseth the mark. The word thou searchest for is "coronation." Dost thou not remember we witnesseth King John's coronation? He was coronated by a coroner.
ROBIN: Thy learning astoundeth me.
JOHN: Yea, but my pointeth is: the King stealeth so why shouldn't we?
ROBIN: John graspeth upon a grain of truth, thou must admiteth, Tuck.
FRIAR: One man's sin needeth not be reason for another's sin.
JOHN: Zounds, that Abbot readeth a long passage.
FRIAR: Watcheth thy mouth. But thou art correct. Indeed the Abbot did readeth a long passage.
JOHN: But the King is our enemy. We have to fighteth him. I itcheth for a good fight.
ROBIN: Thy itcheth all the time, John.
FRIAR: The Bible teacheth us to loveth our enemies.
ROBIN: So, thou art saying that we shouldest stealeth no more and loveth our enemies.
FRIAR: And honoreth the king.
JOHN: To whom no honoreth is due.
FRIAR: Honoreth is due God. We must allowest God to dealeth with the King.
JOHN: I geteth it. We cannot be God. I will doeth it. I will become a laborer and no longer stealeth anything.
FRIAR: A noble vow, John.
ROBIN: I geteth it too, but I will never till the stubborn earth. I think I will starteth an industry of some sort.
JOHN: Huh?
FRIAR: He speaketh in riddles.
JOHN: Huh?
ROBIN: I will manufactureth something. Something the populace will have need of.
JOHN: Huh?
FRIAR: What will you maketh, Robin?
ROBIN: Money, I hopeth.
JOHN: I understoodeth that!
FRIAR: No, I meaneth, what will you manufacture for the populace to buy?
ROBIN: I thinketh I will maketh home security systems.
FRIAR AND JOHN: HUH?!
Jesus, when He taught the kingdom truths in His Sermon on the Mount, turned the values of the world upside down.
Summary
Robin Hood is questioned about his practice of stealing and decides to quit.
Playing Time: 6 minutes
Costumes: Legendary
Props: Robin -- an apple with an arrow through it
Place: Sherwood Forest
Time: The time of legends
Cast: ROBIN HOOD
FRIAR TUCK
LITTLE JOHN
ROBIN HOOD: (ENTERS CARRYING AN APPLE WITH AN ARROW PIERCING IT) Ho, there.
LITTLE JOHN: (TAKES APPLE AND BEGINS TO EAT IT) Foresooth! What sight from yonder verdant wood do I see? Robin, the most wanted outlaw entereth having killed an apple. The hunted becomes the hunter, indeed. Didst thou sneakily track its tender trail through the rooky wood, catching it napping or didst thou warily sneaketh upon it whilst it paused, mayhap drinking its fill from a placid pool? Ah, alas much more, wouldst I be haply viewing a fine antlered specimen from the King's own herd.
ROBIN: Shuteth thy overstuffed mouth, John Little, thou louty layabout! Whilst I risketh my life amongst the wild furzy wood thou resteth here safe by thy fire.
JOHN: It doth thee no good, Sir Hoodlum, to rail upon my poor station. He who guardeth is worth the equal of he who hunteth -- especially if he who hunteth, hunteth for apples.
ROBIN: If needs thee to know my work, John, and I think not that thou needeth, I shooteth the apple for practice solely. (GRABBING THE APPLE BACK FROM JOHN)
JOHN: Well, seedlings and blossoms, Robin, what dost thou supposeth me to eat?
ROBIN: Not my apple, surely, for by thy bearded grandmother I chooseth an apple that was the home of a worm.
JOHN: Yuketh! What then? There hath been this long and dreary fortnight no meat of which to speaketh.
ROBIN: Remembereth thou not the sumptuous meal that was luxuriously laid before us only yesterday?
JOHN: I remembereth it well, Robin, but I remembereth that it consisteth of the bean of soy -- faux hamburger.
ROBIN: Well, fee fie faux foo and fow to thou. Faux, indeed. Knowest not, friend John, that I ordereth that fare ...
JOHN: Faux fare.
ROBIN: That I ordereth that fare full knowing the contents thereof? In truth I doeth it for thine own sake.
JOHN: Sayeth not so, Robin?
ROBIN: In truth I sayeth. Knoweth thee not that I knoweth all concerning nutrition?
JOHN: Huh?
ROBIN: Thou lamest of brains, nutrition is something that havest to do with what thou eatest.
JOHN: Oh, yeah.
ROBIN: The bean of soy is good for thy digestion.
JOHN: Huh?
ROBIN: Never thee mind, dear friend John. The explaining of it would take too long. And the understanding, never.
FRIAR TUCK: (ENTERS) Hail, Robin.
ROBIN: And a hi-thee-well to thee, fair companion, this day, Friar.
JOHN: Thou art well met, Friar Tuck. Didst thou see any game about?
FRIAR: Nary a hare. (GRABBING APPLE FROM ROBIN AND BITING INTO IT) Yuketh!
JOHN: What couldst be the problem?
FRIAR: I think, dear friends, that the dearth of game must be causeth by a lack of animals.
ROBIN: Yea, verily. Although the truth of which you speak soundeth tinny to my ear.
JOHN: All gone? All the animals vanisheth?
ROBIN: What will we do? We cannot, in all truth, live longer in this tranquil glade without game to eat.
FRIAR: I supposeth we will have needs to revert to our old ways.
JOHN: Nay, tell me not the truth.
ROBIN: Dost thou mean ... ?
FRIAR: Yea, and verily. We must needs henceforth work for our living.
ROBIN: Drat! That it cometh to this.
JOHN: Do I read your meaning thus -- we must needs be the farmers that raiseth the bean of soy?
FRIAR: Ah, tis true. Tis true. We must, by the sweat of our brow, till the unkind earth.
ROBIN: But we are unused to such labor. We shall falter in the doing of it.
FRIAR: And why are thou so unused to work, Robin?
ROBIN: Why, thou knowest truly, good Friar. I was trained to rob and steal, of course. Thou knowest this?
JOHN: Yea and verily. It is what we do best, is it not?
FRIAR: It is a truth, surely. It is what we do best, but I thinkest to myself that it is not the will of Almighty God, who rulest the vast universe.
ROBIN: But, kind Friar, and dearest friend, Almighty God, who rules our lives, cannot intend for us to allow the mean Sheriff to continue stealing from the poor.
FRIAR: Hast thou tried prayer, Robin?
JOHN: Art thou of a serious nature whenst thou suggesteth that?
FRIAR: I am, verily.
ROBIN: But how could prayer help our situation? We are men of action.
FRIAR: I fully understand your situation.
JOHN: And this play is supposed to be a play of action. I ain't seen nary a battle yet.
FRIAR: Dear friend, duck your sweaty head in a pail of patience.
JOHN: Why, I ought to ... (HE GRABS FOR THE FRIAR)
ROBIN: Be resourceful with thine energy, John. Let Tuck say his say. Continue. I wouldest knoweth more of this prayer.
FRIAR: Firstly, the Bible teaches us to pray for those who rule over us.
JOHN: The Bible? When did he learn to readeth?
ROBIN: Never thee mind.
FRIAR: I cannot readeth, of course, but I heardeth the Abbot readeth the Bible once.
JOHN: Once!
ROBIN: Shhh-eth!
FRIAR: Secondly, we knoweth that stealing is against the law.
JOHN: Telleth that to King John. He's been stealing from the people since his incarnation.
ROBIN: Not "incarnation," thou denseth of dunces. The word you want is "incarceration." Since the king's incarceration.
FRIAR: Not "incarceration" or "incarnation." Thou misseth the mark. The word thou searchest for is "coronation." Dost thou not remember we witnesseth King John's coronation? He was coronated by a coroner.
ROBIN: Thy learning astoundeth me.
JOHN: Yea, but my pointeth is: the King stealeth so why shouldn't we?
ROBIN: John graspeth upon a grain of truth, thou must admiteth, Tuck.
FRIAR: One man's sin needeth not be reason for another's sin.
JOHN: Zounds, that Abbot readeth a long passage.
FRIAR: Watcheth thy mouth. But thou art correct. Indeed the Abbot did readeth a long passage.
JOHN: But the King is our enemy. We have to fighteth him. I itcheth for a good fight.
ROBIN: Thy itcheth all the time, John.
FRIAR: The Bible teacheth us to loveth our enemies.
ROBIN: So, thou art saying that we shouldest stealeth no more and loveth our enemies.
FRIAR: And honoreth the king.
JOHN: To whom no honoreth is due.
FRIAR: Honoreth is due God. We must allowest God to dealeth with the King.
JOHN: I geteth it. We cannot be God. I will doeth it. I will become a laborer and no longer stealeth anything.
FRIAR: A noble vow, John.
ROBIN: I geteth it too, but I will never till the stubborn earth. I think I will starteth an industry of some sort.
JOHN: Huh?
FRIAR: He speaketh in riddles.
JOHN: Huh?
ROBIN: I will manufactureth something. Something the populace will have need of.
JOHN: Huh?
FRIAR: What will you maketh, Robin?
ROBIN: Money, I hopeth.
JOHN: I understoodeth that!
FRIAR: No, I meaneth, what will you manufacture for the populace to buy?
ROBIN: I thinketh I will maketh home security systems.
FRIAR AND JOHN: HUH?!
