Stone Drunk And Naked
Stories
Seldom-Told Bible Tales
Fifteen Eye-Opening Stories from the Bible
Object:
The gallon wine jug was lying uncorked, on its side, drained dry by the bleary-eyed sailor stretched out on the warm ground nearby. He twitched and moaned faintly, making erratic designs in the dirt with his toes and fingers. A dozen desert flies swarmed about the empty jug and the inebriated victim, sprawled in his foggy, limp condition.
In due time, a young man passed the tent and looked in. Sneeringly, he wondered how his father could allow himself to be reduced to such a pathetic state. He was a most unpleasant sight -- completely drunk, without a stitch of clothing and wallowing in the dirt.
This pitiful-looking individual was Noah, the Lord's chosen, who had been judged holy in God's sight and found worthy to be spared from the great flood. His onlooking son was Ham, who knew his father as a competent and powerful man. Ham was shocked to see Noah in such a weak, disgusting state. Motivated by an unforgiving judgment, he made no effort to assist his father or even to cover him with a robe. Ham exited the tent, leaving his father naked, and went instead to offer his angry complaint to his brothers.
They refused to listen to his criticism. Instead, they went immediately for a blanket and, backing into the tent to avoid looking at their father in his intoxicated state, they covered his exposed body. In the eyes of these two older brothers, Shem and Japheth, their dad could do no wrong. They would not lessen their opinion of him or allow his heroic image to become shattered or tarnished in the view of others. "Shame on you, Ham," they both shouted condemningly as they were leaving the tent. "Can't you be forgiving of Dad? Don't you remember his mighty deeds of the past?"
No man had ever performed greater feats than Noah. He had been the powerful and intelligent builder, chosen to construct the colossal ark out of split gopher wood. He had superbly demonstrated his ability as an expert shipbuilder, an indefatigable stevedore at the animal dock, a skilled meteorologist who knew exactly when the rain would begin, and a knowledgeable zookeeper. Noah had admirably endured a tough life on the sea, and both elevated the spirits of others and brought them safely to shore, because he was basically a survivor.
Had he lived in modern times, we would never have known his greatness, for we would have forced him to retire at the age of 65. As it happened, he was nearly 600 years old before he had reached his full potential -- an age when most men would have died for the seventh or eighth time. His gigantic ark, the length and a half of a football field, as wide as an eight-lane highway, and floating three stories tall, was quite a sight.
He had also been notoriously successful in his worldwide safari, skillfully herding tons of animals and birds toward the desert rendezvous. Orderly at his command, they boarded the ark, two-by-two as a class of first graders under the watchful eye of their teacher. This project, with the code name of "Operation High-Water," has never been equaled. Noah put together a floating zoo that will be the eternal envy of Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey. He decoded God's voice from heaven, effected its fulfillment on earth, and orchestrated the whole show with superb class.
When the ark was finally ready to sail, Mrs. Noah was escorted to her archaic quarters by her husband with their three sons and their wives following. Then God personally closed the door, bidding them bon voyage, and, with the rain beginning, shouted, "See you in forty days." For his performance inside the ark, this old man of the sea was later publicly congratulated by God. He had attended to every detail aboard ship, even personally protecting the two ants from the feet of the elephants.
This great and powerful man was lying drunk and naked in his tent, and his son, Ham, could not be forgiving or understanding. Ham, after all, was only 550 years old at the time, but someday when he was more mature he would realize a man can't be strong all the time.
What Ham didn't understand was the terrible mental anguish his dad experienced in the years following the flood. Anytime clouds would gather in the western sky, Noah would begin to perspire and become extremely nervous. He would pace continually around his tent during a storm and expectantly watch for the rainbow. He couldn't bear the thought of another ark ride, and when the sign from heaven was slow in appearing, he would fear the rain would not stop. Many people told him this was silly and he should not worry about it. However, his anxieties grew stronger and that's why he started drinking. A cup of wine would help him remain calm until the covenant sign would finally appear. He soon discovered two cups would make it appear sooner. Now that he was older, his patience was frazzled and his drinking bouts were longer. This particular day he had seen the ill omen -- heavy, dark, rain clouds -- and had immediately run to find the rainbow in his wine jug.
When Noah finally sobered, long after the storm had subsided, his wife told him of the conduct of their three sons. "I'm sorry Ham did that," she said. "But Shem and Japheth backed into the tent and placed the blanket over you." Noah smiled gratefully. His family were experts at walking backward, which they had done in the ark each day as they exited the tiger pen at feeding time.
While Shem and Japheth were exceedingly blessed by their father, Ham was condemned and his descendants, the Canaanites, where also to share his unfortunate lot. They were relegated to the position of slaves, for many generations.
Of Noah's three sons, Ham was the youngest and, from the day of his birth, was never fully accepted by his father. Why an ancestor of the Jewish race would be called Ham has never been fully explained. The boy resented the name from early childhood and grew up rebelliously. It was Ham who had caused most of the dissension aboard the ark during the great deluge, by not doing his share of ark work and complaining about the food. Undoubtedly, the name had predicted only ill fortune for its bearer.
Noah continued to cope with life rather well considering the rigors he had been put through with family and elements. He lived 350 more years after the flood until he died at the age of 950. His body was a bit waterlogged but his mind remained sharp to the end. He was never ill a day in his life, not even with seasickness. He is the universally acknowledged recipient of the "Old-man-of-the-sea award."
Here's a toast to a mighty Noah,
Captain of a floating zoo.
For his favor God included
Him in his Book of Who's Who.
Though he caught sight of the rainbow,
Noah still had storms to face.
Even after God approved him,
He had moments of disgrace.
Read Genesis 9
In due time, a young man passed the tent and looked in. Sneeringly, he wondered how his father could allow himself to be reduced to such a pathetic state. He was a most unpleasant sight -- completely drunk, without a stitch of clothing and wallowing in the dirt.
This pitiful-looking individual was Noah, the Lord's chosen, who had been judged holy in God's sight and found worthy to be spared from the great flood. His onlooking son was Ham, who knew his father as a competent and powerful man. Ham was shocked to see Noah in such a weak, disgusting state. Motivated by an unforgiving judgment, he made no effort to assist his father or even to cover him with a robe. Ham exited the tent, leaving his father naked, and went instead to offer his angry complaint to his brothers.
They refused to listen to his criticism. Instead, they went immediately for a blanket and, backing into the tent to avoid looking at their father in his intoxicated state, they covered his exposed body. In the eyes of these two older brothers, Shem and Japheth, their dad could do no wrong. They would not lessen their opinion of him or allow his heroic image to become shattered or tarnished in the view of others. "Shame on you, Ham," they both shouted condemningly as they were leaving the tent. "Can't you be forgiving of Dad? Don't you remember his mighty deeds of the past?"
No man had ever performed greater feats than Noah. He had been the powerful and intelligent builder, chosen to construct the colossal ark out of split gopher wood. He had superbly demonstrated his ability as an expert shipbuilder, an indefatigable stevedore at the animal dock, a skilled meteorologist who knew exactly when the rain would begin, and a knowledgeable zookeeper. Noah had admirably endured a tough life on the sea, and both elevated the spirits of others and brought them safely to shore, because he was basically a survivor.
Had he lived in modern times, we would never have known his greatness, for we would have forced him to retire at the age of 65. As it happened, he was nearly 600 years old before he had reached his full potential -- an age when most men would have died for the seventh or eighth time. His gigantic ark, the length and a half of a football field, as wide as an eight-lane highway, and floating three stories tall, was quite a sight.
He had also been notoriously successful in his worldwide safari, skillfully herding tons of animals and birds toward the desert rendezvous. Orderly at his command, they boarded the ark, two-by-two as a class of first graders under the watchful eye of their teacher. This project, with the code name of "Operation High-Water," has never been equaled. Noah put together a floating zoo that will be the eternal envy of Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey. He decoded God's voice from heaven, effected its fulfillment on earth, and orchestrated the whole show with superb class.
When the ark was finally ready to sail, Mrs. Noah was escorted to her archaic quarters by her husband with their three sons and their wives following. Then God personally closed the door, bidding them bon voyage, and, with the rain beginning, shouted, "See you in forty days." For his performance inside the ark, this old man of the sea was later publicly congratulated by God. He had attended to every detail aboard ship, even personally protecting the two ants from the feet of the elephants.
This great and powerful man was lying drunk and naked in his tent, and his son, Ham, could not be forgiving or understanding. Ham, after all, was only 550 years old at the time, but someday when he was more mature he would realize a man can't be strong all the time.
What Ham didn't understand was the terrible mental anguish his dad experienced in the years following the flood. Anytime clouds would gather in the western sky, Noah would begin to perspire and become extremely nervous. He would pace continually around his tent during a storm and expectantly watch for the rainbow. He couldn't bear the thought of another ark ride, and when the sign from heaven was slow in appearing, he would fear the rain would not stop. Many people told him this was silly and he should not worry about it. However, his anxieties grew stronger and that's why he started drinking. A cup of wine would help him remain calm until the covenant sign would finally appear. He soon discovered two cups would make it appear sooner. Now that he was older, his patience was frazzled and his drinking bouts were longer. This particular day he had seen the ill omen -- heavy, dark, rain clouds -- and had immediately run to find the rainbow in his wine jug.
When Noah finally sobered, long after the storm had subsided, his wife told him of the conduct of their three sons. "I'm sorry Ham did that," she said. "But Shem and Japheth backed into the tent and placed the blanket over you." Noah smiled gratefully. His family were experts at walking backward, which they had done in the ark each day as they exited the tiger pen at feeding time.
While Shem and Japheth were exceedingly blessed by their father, Ham was condemned and his descendants, the Canaanites, where also to share his unfortunate lot. They were relegated to the position of slaves, for many generations.
Of Noah's three sons, Ham was the youngest and, from the day of his birth, was never fully accepted by his father. Why an ancestor of the Jewish race would be called Ham has never been fully explained. The boy resented the name from early childhood and grew up rebelliously. It was Ham who had caused most of the dissension aboard the ark during the great deluge, by not doing his share of ark work and complaining about the food. Undoubtedly, the name had predicted only ill fortune for its bearer.
Noah continued to cope with life rather well considering the rigors he had been put through with family and elements. He lived 350 more years after the flood until he died at the age of 950. His body was a bit waterlogged but his mind remained sharp to the end. He was never ill a day in his life, not even with seasickness. He is the universally acknowledged recipient of the "Old-man-of-the-sea award."
Here's a toast to a mighty Noah,
Captain of a floating zoo.
For his favor God included
Him in his Book of Who's Who.
Though he caught sight of the rainbow,
Noah still had storms to face.
Even after God approved him,
He had moments of disgrace.
Read Genesis 9

