The Tooth Fairy
Drama
Lectionary Scenes
57 Vignettes For Cycle A
Theme
People retaliate for a wrong done to them and think it is right. Jesus said, "Don't pay back evil for evil."
Summary
The Tooth Fairy visits Albert to pay him "tooth for tooth." He knocked out someone's tooth so he will now have his knocked out.
Playing Time: 7 minutes
Place: A neutral playing area that represents Albert's home
Props: Pistol
Costumes: Albert -- pajamas
The Tooth Fairy -- overalls
Time: The present
Cast: ALBERT -- a bully
THE TOOTH FAIRY -- a big brute
THE TOOTH FAIRY: (CALLING SOFTLY TO ALBERT WHO IS ASLEEP) Albert. Albert. Albert. (YELLING) Albert!
ALBERT: (HE HAS A BLACK EYE) What? How dare you. Why I ought to ... (HE GRABS A PISTOL FROM UNDER THE PILLOW AND POINTS IT AT THE TOOTH FAIRY)
THE TOOTH FAIRY: (GRABBING ALBERT AND RESTRAINING HIM) Just calm down. I'm here to bring you a present.
ALBERT: A present? Well, this is a strange way to deliver a present, in the middle of the night, sneaking into a man's bedroom.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: I came in through the window.
ALBERT: You came in through the window? You're a burglar.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: No, I am not a burglar. Have you ever heard of any burglars waking up their victims?
ALBERT: Well, no, I can't say that I have. For that matter you could have gotten my name from the phone book.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Well, I didn't.
ALBERT: You didn't?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Why would I wake you up to rob you?
ALBERT: I don't know. Why did you?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: I'm not going to rob you. I'm here to deliver my present.
ALBERT: Did the guys at the office dream this up?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: No.
ALBERT: No? Well, who did then?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: I represent the law.
ALBERT: The law?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Why do you have to repeat everything I say? Do you do that all the time?
ALBERT: All the time? No, I don't think so. Why?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Because it irritates me.
ALBERT: It irritates you?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: YES IT DOES! STOP IT! This would be a lot easier if you just listen and then I can give you the present and leave.
ALBERT: All right, but why not let me go and we can talk, I mean, I can listen and you can talk.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: That's better. But you have to drop the gun first.
ALBERT: Drop the gun first? I will not.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: I can force you to drop it.
ALBERT: You think you can force me to drop it? Oh, yeah?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Yeah. You're repeating me again. I don't like that, remember? I ought to make you drop it just because I don't like you repeating me all the time.
ALBERT: You're a bully.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: In your situation you better call me Mr. Bully. Now drop the gun! (GRABBING ALBERT AND FORCING HIM)
ALBERT: I will not. I have to protect myself against bullies like you.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Drop it. (THERE IS A BRIEF STRUGGLE BUT ALBERT DROPS THE GUN) There, that's better.
ALBERT: You almost broke my arm.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: You had a gun. What would you have done if I would have let you go?
ALBERT: I would have made you get out of my house.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: I wouldn't have gone.
ALBERT: Oh, yes you would. I would have the gun.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: But you don't have it now. I do. Now, let's talk so I can give you the present.
ALBERT: Hurry up and give it to me.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: No. We're going to talk first.
ALBERT: I remember. Go ahead.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Good. Now, remember last Friday when you were out drinking and ...
ALBERT: I was relaxing after work. The boys in the office always stop for one, Friday after work.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Don't interrupt. Listen.
ALBERT: Okay, okay. We just had a few.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: A few too many for you. You got into a pretty big argument with Lou Winger.
ALBERT: Ah, that stupid ...
THE TOOTH FAIRY: (MOTIONS FOR SILENCE) Now, as I was saying, you got into an argument and then you started fighting.
ALBERT: Say, how do you know all this?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: I represent the law.
ALBERT: You do, huh. And Lou Winger is pressing charges, is that it?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: No. Oh, no. Not at all. One of my friends is visiting Lou tonight. He's getting a present, too.
ALBERT: A present? That louse? Why would anyone give him a present?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: The law requires it.
ALBERT: The law, huh? Well, Lou got the worst of the fight. I knocked out his tooth.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Yes, I know. And he gave you that black eye.
ALBERT: That's right. Boy, I'm going to get him good.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: You're not going to continue the violence, are you? Didn't you ever hear about turning the other cheek?
ALBERT: Turning the other cheek? Are you kidding? Are you from my sister's church? She's preaching that goody-goody stuff to me all the time. "Jesus said, 'Turn the other cheek.' " Rubbish! I was just protecting myself. A man's got a right to protect himself, doesn't he? "An eye for an eye," I say.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: That's a fair law.
ALBERT: Sure.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: But what if you shoot someone when you're in a fit of rage like last Friday?
ALBERT: Shoot Lou? Boy, if I would've had this gun ...
THE TOOTH FAIRY: That's what I thought. It's a good thing I was sent to give you my present.
ALBERT: Sent? Sent by whom?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: I already told you. I represent the law.
ALBERT: Good. Then you're fair. The law is fair, isn't it?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Oh, yes. Quite impartial and fair -- lex talionis.
ALBERT: Good. Well, get on with it. Wait. Who is Lex what's-his-name?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Lex talionis, it means the law of retaliation. I represent that law.
ALBERT: Just get on with it. Where is my present?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: You don't want to protest?
ALBERT: Why should I protest? I trust the law. I live by the law.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Glad to hear it. Most people are such cowards when they get their present.
ALBERT: I'm not a coward. I knocked out Lou Winger's tooth, didn't I?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: You surely did. And he blackened your eye.
ALBERT: It still hurts, too.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: A friend of mine is returning the favor, right about now.
ALBERT: Do you mean someone is punching Lou in the eye right now?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Right about now, yes. We were sent out about the same time.
ALBERT: (LAUGHING) Oh, that's great. Lou gets a black eye and I get a present. That's great.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Oh, you are good sport.
ALBERT: Sure, why not. I'm ready, now. How about giving me my present.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: All right. (HE CLOSES IN ON ALBERT AND DRAWS HIS ARM BACK AS IF TO SOCK HIM IN THE JAW)
ALBERT: Hey, what are you doing? Who are you anyway?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: My friends call me "The Tooth Fairy!" (ALBERT RUNS AWAY. THE TOOTH FAIRY RUNS OUT AFTER HIM)
People retaliate for a wrong done to them and think it is right. Jesus said, "Don't pay back evil for evil."
Summary
The Tooth Fairy visits Albert to pay him "tooth for tooth." He knocked out someone's tooth so he will now have his knocked out.
Playing Time: 7 minutes
Place: A neutral playing area that represents Albert's home
Props: Pistol
Costumes: Albert -- pajamas
The Tooth Fairy -- overalls
Time: The present
Cast: ALBERT -- a bully
THE TOOTH FAIRY -- a big brute
THE TOOTH FAIRY: (CALLING SOFTLY TO ALBERT WHO IS ASLEEP) Albert. Albert. Albert. (YELLING) Albert!
ALBERT: (HE HAS A BLACK EYE) What? How dare you. Why I ought to ... (HE GRABS A PISTOL FROM UNDER THE PILLOW AND POINTS IT AT THE TOOTH FAIRY)
THE TOOTH FAIRY: (GRABBING ALBERT AND RESTRAINING HIM) Just calm down. I'm here to bring you a present.
ALBERT: A present? Well, this is a strange way to deliver a present, in the middle of the night, sneaking into a man's bedroom.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: I came in through the window.
ALBERT: You came in through the window? You're a burglar.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: No, I am not a burglar. Have you ever heard of any burglars waking up their victims?
ALBERT: Well, no, I can't say that I have. For that matter you could have gotten my name from the phone book.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Well, I didn't.
ALBERT: You didn't?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Why would I wake you up to rob you?
ALBERT: I don't know. Why did you?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: I'm not going to rob you. I'm here to deliver my present.
ALBERT: Did the guys at the office dream this up?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: No.
ALBERT: No? Well, who did then?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: I represent the law.
ALBERT: The law?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Why do you have to repeat everything I say? Do you do that all the time?
ALBERT: All the time? No, I don't think so. Why?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Because it irritates me.
ALBERT: It irritates you?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: YES IT DOES! STOP IT! This would be a lot easier if you just listen and then I can give you the present and leave.
ALBERT: All right, but why not let me go and we can talk, I mean, I can listen and you can talk.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: That's better. But you have to drop the gun first.
ALBERT: Drop the gun first? I will not.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: I can force you to drop it.
ALBERT: You think you can force me to drop it? Oh, yeah?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Yeah. You're repeating me again. I don't like that, remember? I ought to make you drop it just because I don't like you repeating me all the time.
ALBERT: You're a bully.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: In your situation you better call me Mr. Bully. Now drop the gun! (GRABBING ALBERT AND FORCING HIM)
ALBERT: I will not. I have to protect myself against bullies like you.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Drop it. (THERE IS A BRIEF STRUGGLE BUT ALBERT DROPS THE GUN) There, that's better.
ALBERT: You almost broke my arm.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: You had a gun. What would you have done if I would have let you go?
ALBERT: I would have made you get out of my house.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: I wouldn't have gone.
ALBERT: Oh, yes you would. I would have the gun.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: But you don't have it now. I do. Now, let's talk so I can give you the present.
ALBERT: Hurry up and give it to me.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: No. We're going to talk first.
ALBERT: I remember. Go ahead.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Good. Now, remember last Friday when you were out drinking and ...
ALBERT: I was relaxing after work. The boys in the office always stop for one, Friday after work.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Don't interrupt. Listen.
ALBERT: Okay, okay. We just had a few.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: A few too many for you. You got into a pretty big argument with Lou Winger.
ALBERT: Ah, that stupid ...
THE TOOTH FAIRY: (MOTIONS FOR SILENCE) Now, as I was saying, you got into an argument and then you started fighting.
ALBERT: Say, how do you know all this?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: I represent the law.
ALBERT: You do, huh. And Lou Winger is pressing charges, is that it?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: No. Oh, no. Not at all. One of my friends is visiting Lou tonight. He's getting a present, too.
ALBERT: A present? That louse? Why would anyone give him a present?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: The law requires it.
ALBERT: The law, huh? Well, Lou got the worst of the fight. I knocked out his tooth.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Yes, I know. And he gave you that black eye.
ALBERT: That's right. Boy, I'm going to get him good.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: You're not going to continue the violence, are you? Didn't you ever hear about turning the other cheek?
ALBERT: Turning the other cheek? Are you kidding? Are you from my sister's church? She's preaching that goody-goody stuff to me all the time. "Jesus said, 'Turn the other cheek.' " Rubbish! I was just protecting myself. A man's got a right to protect himself, doesn't he? "An eye for an eye," I say.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: That's a fair law.
ALBERT: Sure.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: But what if you shoot someone when you're in a fit of rage like last Friday?
ALBERT: Shoot Lou? Boy, if I would've had this gun ...
THE TOOTH FAIRY: That's what I thought. It's a good thing I was sent to give you my present.
ALBERT: Sent? Sent by whom?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: I already told you. I represent the law.
ALBERT: Good. Then you're fair. The law is fair, isn't it?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Oh, yes. Quite impartial and fair -- lex talionis.
ALBERT: Good. Well, get on with it. Wait. Who is Lex what's-his-name?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Lex talionis, it means the law of retaliation. I represent that law.
ALBERT: Just get on with it. Where is my present?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: You don't want to protest?
ALBERT: Why should I protest? I trust the law. I live by the law.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Glad to hear it. Most people are such cowards when they get their present.
ALBERT: I'm not a coward. I knocked out Lou Winger's tooth, didn't I?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: You surely did. And he blackened your eye.
ALBERT: It still hurts, too.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: A friend of mine is returning the favor, right about now.
ALBERT: Do you mean someone is punching Lou in the eye right now?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Right about now, yes. We were sent out about the same time.
ALBERT: (LAUGHING) Oh, that's great. Lou gets a black eye and I get a present. That's great.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: Oh, you are good sport.
ALBERT: Sure, why not. I'm ready, now. How about giving me my present.
THE TOOTH FAIRY: All right. (HE CLOSES IN ON ALBERT AND DRAWS HIS ARM BACK AS IF TO SOCK HIM IN THE JAW)
ALBERT: Hey, what are you doing? Who are you anyway?
THE TOOTH FAIRY: My friends call me "The Tooth Fairy!" (ALBERT RUNS AWAY. THE TOOTH FAIRY RUNS OUT AFTER HIM)

