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When I was a child I was fussy about one thing at bedtime. The door to my room had to be propped open just the right amount of space. As I recall, it was about three inches. If it was more than that, the room was too bright with light from the living room. If it were less, I would be afraid because it was too dark. And if the door was shut I couldn't hear the sound of my parents' voices. The sound of their voices and the little sliver of light made me feel safe. The only time I ever shut the door was when my parents were fighting, which wasn't often, thank goodness. But when they were arguing, I preferred the scary darkness inside my room to the even scarier darkness of their angry words.

Unlike me, Hagar had no security at all. Also unlike me she must have heard constant arguing: Sarah fighting with Hagar, Sarah arguing with Abraham, Ishmael fighting with Isaac ... what a household! They were a truly dysfunctional family. And as though that weren't bad enough, Hagar had four strikes against her: She was a slave, a woman, a foreigner, and she was dark--skinned. There is a line from the poet A. E. Housman that describes her, "I, a stranger, and afraid in a world I never made." Hagar must have been afraid a lot. She was in a terrible situation. She had only two options, and both of them were bad. Either she put up with the constant battling of a dysfunctional household or she faced the threat of hunger, homelessness, and the wild beasts of the wilderness.

Poor Hagar. Twice she was driven out of Abraham's household. The first time she was pregnant. An angel appears and tells her to return to Abraham and Sarah, but sends her back with a promise of a son and many descendents. So, Hagar returns to the fighting and humiliation of Sarah's household. Later on, she and her son are kicked out for good. This time there is no going back. Again an angel comes to the rescue. Hagar and Ishmael are saved by a well and a second promise: that Ishmael would become the father of a great nation.

The story of Hagar and Ishmael is a very important episode in the history of God's people. It tells us plainly that the outsiders and embattled ones are also God's children. Just look at what God has done to honor Hagar. She is unique in the Old Testament. Hagar is the first woman to be visited by a divine messenger. Then, she not only sees God, she has a conversation with God. God names her child. Hagar is the only person who dares to name God. She is the only woman given the promise of descendents. She is the only woman in all of scripture permitted to choose her son's wife. Through the story of Hagar and Ishmael God is doing an amazing thing. God is weaving the outsider into the history of the nation and helping us to see outsiders as insiders ... right from the beginning of the nation's history.

The fact is, there are Hagars all over the place. There are wars going on in many of our families, wars that create insiders and outsiders. There are wars between husband and wife, wars between parents and children, sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles, and in--laws. We all know of families where siblings refuse to speak to each other. We have a terrible capacity for wounding each other and being wounded by each other in our own homes.

Then there are the wars further away. We sit in front of our televisions with full stomachs and watch the third world children with vacant eyes and swollen bellies, their arms and legs like sticks. These people are Hagars and Ishmaels. They are people we would rather not see, but God sees them, includes them, and calls them our neighbors.

Jesus commanded us to love our neighbors, and that includes the outsiders, both in our own homes and far away. And Jesus did this not just for the outsider's sake, but for our sake. God knows that we need to find a way to include the outsider because there is a part of each of us that is an outsider too.

"Woe to you that are rich," Jesus said, "for you have received your consolation. Woe to you that are full now, for you shall hunger. Woe to you that laugh now, for you shall mourn and weep." We don't like to hear this, but woe to us, indeed, if we forget the outsiders, the enemies, and the forgotten ones, those who often have no power and no faces, and no place where they belong. Woe to us because in a way they are us. Some of us are trapped in warfare in our family systems. Some of us have wars going on inside of us. What would God have us do about this? How in the world are we to deal with the people we are at war with, the spouse we are miserable with, the children who disappoint us? How can we deal with the outsiders in our own home, much less those far away? There is no book in which to look up the answer. One thing we can do is to remember the story of Hagar and try to see her as God saw her. God chose to honor Hagar, an outsider.

In a recent television series about the Civil War, the narrator describes a remarkable scene which took place in 1913. It was the fiftieth anniversary of the battle of Gettysburg. The old--timers who had survived decided to stage a re--enactment of the battle. All the Union veterans up on the ridge took their places among the rocks. All the old Confederate veterans started marching toward them across the field below. Then an extraordinary thing happened. As the old men among the rocks began to rush down at the old men coming across the field, a great cry went up. Only, instead of doing battle as they had fifty years earlier, this time they threw their arms around each other. They hugged each other and wept openly.

If only we had eyes to see what those men saw as they fell into each others' arms. If only our household battles could end like this. If only we could embrace the outsider. If only we could see what God saw when he looked at Hagar and Ishmael. God took care of them when no one else would. This is God weaving the outsider into the history of Israel. Ishmael did become the father of twelve princes. His daughter, Mahalath, married Esau, the son of Jacob. And when Abraham died, it is Ishmael and Isaac who together bury him in the cave of Machpelah. Ishmael lived to the ripe old age of 137 years and was gathered to his people (Genesis 25:17).

If this is what God does for an outsider, maybe we need to take a closer look at those we are fighting with or excluding. Can we see in their faces what God saw in Hagar and Ishmael? Can we see what those civil war veterans saw in each other? If we can, maybe then we will have peace in our homes and in the world. One thing I know for certain: there can be no real peace for any of us until there is peace for all of us. Amen.