What's A Tith-thee?
Drama
Mrs. Johnson's Rummage Sale
And Other Stewardship Dramas
a drama about understandings
The Players
Fred -- a member with a problem understanding a word he's seen a lot recently
Chris -- chair of the finance committee
The Setting
A table has all the items needed for a coffee table after the worship service -- a coffee pot, cups, creamer, sugar, spoons, and so forth. A plate of cookies or doughnuts can also be placed on the table.
Note: This drama is based on a question once actually asked of a pastor by a pronunciationally-challenged parishioner. Everything beyond the question and mispronunciation which form the basis for the drama is drawn from the writer's imagination.
Pronounce the word in question with at least two syllables: "TITH ... thee." The pronunciation should rhyme with "pithy."
(Fred enters and pours himself a cup of coffee. Chris enters after Fred and walks over to the table)
Chris: Did you make the coffee?
Fred: No, I think Mrs. Johnson made it.
Chris: Oh, good. Then I can have some safely.
Fred: Well, I think I make a pretty good cup of coffee. When I was in the Army, I made coffee strong enough to put hair on your chest!
Chris: I'm not sure that's a recommendation.
Fred: We did have a rule, though. The first one to complain had to make the next pot of coffee.
Chris: (Thinks for a minute) I'm sure you make a fine pot of coffee, Fred. (Pours a cup)
Fred: Thanks. (Stirs his coffee as he watches Chris) Are you still chair of the Finance Committee?
Chris: Let me warn you, if I hear any complaints, you might be nominated as the next chair of the Finance Committee.
Fred: Oh, no complaints. I just have a question for you. (Looks around before asking his question, doesn't speak)
Chris: (Looks around with Fred) Did you want to ask a question?
Fred: Well, yes. But I'm a little embarrassed about it.
(Both look around again)
Chris: Go ahead; ask anything. If I can, I'll give you an answer. If I can't, we'll go find out.
Fred: Okay. (A last glance around) What's a tith-thee?
Chris: A what?
Fred: A tith-thee.
Chris: I don't think I've ever heard of a ... what'd you call it, again?
Fred: A tith-thee.
Chris: A tith-thee? ... No, I've never heard of that. Where'd you hear about it?
Fred: You must've heard of it. Don't you even read the stuff your committee sends out? It's all over it.
Chris: Tith-thee?
Fred: That's right.
Chris: Well, what do we say about it?
Fred: Stuff like everybody should consider a tith-thee -- and how everybody should really be tith-thee-ing, or at least working toward that goal of being a tith-thee-er. Stuff like that.
Chris: Huh?
Fred: Well, it's a fine thing, when you don't even know what your own committee is telling people to do.
Chris: I honestly have never heard of a tith-thee, as least as far as I know.
Fred: Then I guess I don't have to worry much about all that stuff your committee is sending out about a tith-thee. (Begins to walk away)
Chris: (Begins to have an idea of what is going on) Fred, wait a minute.
Fred: What?
Chris: How do you spell it?
Fred: What?
Chris: A tith-thee.
Fred: T - I - T - H - E. Tith-thee!
Chris: (Tries very hard not to laugh out loud) Oh, you mean a tithe!
Fred: Do I?
Chris: I think so.
Fred: So I just can't pronounce the word, huh?
Chris: It sounds like it.
Fred: Well, then I guess your committee isn't trying to put some new gimmick in place. Tithing's been around for a long time.
Chris: It certainly has.
Fred: So, I guess I'm safe. Nobody is going to nominate me to be chair of the Finance Committee. I'm not going to complain about something like tithing.
Chris: I guess I won't find a replacement today.
(Both exit)
The Players
Fred -- a member with a problem understanding a word he's seen a lot recently
Chris -- chair of the finance committee
The Setting
A table has all the items needed for a coffee table after the worship service -- a coffee pot, cups, creamer, sugar, spoons, and so forth. A plate of cookies or doughnuts can also be placed on the table.
Note: This drama is based on a question once actually asked of a pastor by a pronunciationally-challenged parishioner. Everything beyond the question and mispronunciation which form the basis for the drama is drawn from the writer's imagination.
Pronounce the word in question with at least two syllables: "TITH ... thee." The pronunciation should rhyme with "pithy."
(Fred enters and pours himself a cup of coffee. Chris enters after Fred and walks over to the table)
Chris: Did you make the coffee?
Fred: No, I think Mrs. Johnson made it.
Chris: Oh, good. Then I can have some safely.
Fred: Well, I think I make a pretty good cup of coffee. When I was in the Army, I made coffee strong enough to put hair on your chest!
Chris: I'm not sure that's a recommendation.
Fred: We did have a rule, though. The first one to complain had to make the next pot of coffee.
Chris: (Thinks for a minute) I'm sure you make a fine pot of coffee, Fred. (Pours a cup)
Fred: Thanks. (Stirs his coffee as he watches Chris) Are you still chair of the Finance Committee?
Chris: Let me warn you, if I hear any complaints, you might be nominated as the next chair of the Finance Committee.
Fred: Oh, no complaints. I just have a question for you. (Looks around before asking his question, doesn't speak)
Chris: (Looks around with Fred) Did you want to ask a question?
Fred: Well, yes. But I'm a little embarrassed about it.
(Both look around again)
Chris: Go ahead; ask anything. If I can, I'll give you an answer. If I can't, we'll go find out.
Fred: Okay. (A last glance around) What's a tith-thee?
Chris: A what?
Fred: A tith-thee.
Chris: I don't think I've ever heard of a ... what'd you call it, again?
Fred: A tith-thee.
Chris: A tith-thee? ... No, I've never heard of that. Where'd you hear about it?
Fred: You must've heard of it. Don't you even read the stuff your committee sends out? It's all over it.
Chris: Tith-thee?
Fred: That's right.
Chris: Well, what do we say about it?
Fred: Stuff like everybody should consider a tith-thee -- and how everybody should really be tith-thee-ing, or at least working toward that goal of being a tith-thee-er. Stuff like that.
Chris: Huh?
Fred: Well, it's a fine thing, when you don't even know what your own committee is telling people to do.
Chris: I honestly have never heard of a tith-thee, as least as far as I know.
Fred: Then I guess I don't have to worry much about all that stuff your committee is sending out about a tith-thee. (Begins to walk away)
Chris: (Begins to have an idea of what is going on) Fred, wait a minute.
Fred: What?
Chris: How do you spell it?
Fred: What?
Chris: A tith-thee.
Fred: T - I - T - H - E. Tith-thee!
Chris: (Tries very hard not to laugh out loud) Oh, you mean a tithe!
Fred: Do I?
Chris: I think so.
Fred: So I just can't pronounce the word, huh?
Chris: It sounds like it.
Fred: Well, then I guess your committee isn't trying to put some new gimmick in place. Tithing's been around for a long time.
Chris: It certainly has.
Fred: So, I guess I'm safe. Nobody is going to nominate me to be chair of the Finance Committee. I'm not going to complain about something like tithing.
Chris: I guess I won't find a replacement today.
(Both exit)
