Forgive And Forget
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Contents
"Forgive and Forget" by Keith Wagner
"Times of Redemption" by Keith Wagner
Forgive and Forget
by Keith Wagner
Hebrews 9:24-28
During my teaching career in counseling I used the textbook entitled, Interviewing and Action in a Multicultural World, by Murphy and Dillon. The textbook included video clips of counselors working with clients.
In one episode, Vinnie was a young man who got into trouble with the law because of drugs. He hung around with the wrong crowd and fortunately he was probated to a half-way house. He was assigned to a counselor who was really worth her salt. During a session she told him that she observed him playing basketball. She noticed that he frequently passed the ball to others so they could make a shot. She said this was symbolic of who he was as a person. He actually cared for others and wanted others to succeed.
That session changed Vinnie’s life. Never before had anyone said something positive to him. It was a decisive moment and it enabled him to go forward with his life.
What Vinnie experienced though that counselor was a God who forgets sins but remembers good deeds. God does more than forgive, God forgets. Since God is a God of grace we don’t have to let others control us with their grudges and inability to forget. It may take years for reconciliation to happen but God wants us to be “unwavering” in our faith. The only true way to grasp the nature of God’s unconditional forgiveness is to be people who forget, just as God has forgotten.
People are human and there will be some who just won’t forget. But, we don’t have to let the controlling memories of others keep us from moving forward.
In Hebrews we hear these words; “But as it is, Jesus has appeared once for all at the end of the age to remove sin by the sacrifice of himself.” In other words the forgiveness of God is total and everlasting. This was the purpose of this passage in Hebrews. The writer (most likely Paul) contrasts the priestly role of Jesus with the priests of the day. The priests repeated the temple ritual of animal sacrifice, over and over. The writer is saying that their work was essentially futile, because it was never finished. On the other hand, Jesus finished his work. His one-time atonement for our sins was enough because the forgiveness of Jesus was totally unconditional.
It’s not a simple thing to forgive others. What ultimately matters is a change in our behavior. In the book, Putting Forgiveness Into Practice, Doris Donnelly tells the story of The Forgiving Son.
In her story a seven-year-old boy was riding in the back seat of the car. Suddenly, in a fit of anger, his mother, who was driving, spun around and struck him across the face. Then she yelled at him: "And you! I never wanted you. The only reason I had you was to keep your father. But then he left anyway. I hate you," she said.
That scene branded itself on the boy's memory. During the years that followed, his mother reinforced her feelings toward him by constantly finding fault with him. Years later, that son told a friend: "I can't tell you how many times in the ensuing years I have relived that experience, probably thousands." Then he added: "But recently I put myself in my mother's shoes. She was a high school graduate with no money, no job, and a family to support. I realized how lonely and depressed she must have felt. I thought of the anger and the pain that must have been there. And I thought of how much I reminded her of the failure of her young hopes. And so one day I went to visit her and told her that I understood her feelings and that I loved her just the same.” He not only forgave his mother, he forgot what had happened.
We find this unusual since we find it difficult to forgive others completely. Are we able to tolerate someone who has wronged us and completely erase their sins? I think not. When it comes to forgiving others I frequently hear people say, “I can forgive, but I will never forget.” That’s a clever way of saying that forgiveness is conditional. God’s forgiveness however is unconditional and the only way for us to fully understand that God forgets is to be persons who can also forget.
* * *
Times of Redemption
by Keith Wagner
Ruth 3:1-5, 4:13-17
My wife and I recently returned from a cruise which went from Rome to Venice. The trip was amazing as we discovered many new sites and traveled in countries we have never been to before, like Croatia, Montenegro, and Slovenia. We saw the ancient city of Pompeii, the canals of Venice, an underground lake in Greece and the panoramic views of Montenegro.
It was a wonderful experience but our return home was not so wonderful. We missed our overseas connection in Amsterdam and had to spend an extra day. We waited in long lines, which made it difficult for us to rebook a flight. We were tired, hungry and anxious to get home. Since we were in a foreign country it was hard to communicate. At times we felt totally helpless. This was one moment in my life when I felt powerless to do anything. Finally I managed to rebook a flight on Delta Airlines to the US the next morning. At least for the moment we thought all was well.
Unfortunately, the following morning we were bumped from our flight to Atlanta with a connection to Columbus. Lin was devastated and I was in shock. We started to leave when a KLM official told us he was going to help us. He said, “Since you were booked on our airline we have a responsibility to make sure you get home.” He made a phone call then escorted us to a waiting area next to the transfer desk which was a good walk from there. He then told us that he would meet with us in about 30-40 minutes. Lin took a seat and I got us some breakfast. About the time I returned the KLM agent, Jan, met us.
Jan had a complete itinerary with boarding passes. He had booked three flights which would take us back to Columbus where we had left our car. We had been given seats in First Class on the KLM flight to London, our first stop. We had seats on a British Airways flight to Washington DC and confirmation on a flight to Columbus. He gave us vouchers for food and two credit cards to compensate us for our troubles. Lin and I were overwhelmed by the kindness of the KLM airline but really overwhelmed that a complete stranger had taken such a personal interest in us.
We had spent the last twelve days in foreign countries and now we were on our way home. Thanks to the grace of God we had been redeemed.
The story of Ruth is also a story of redemption. Ruth, a Moabite, a gentile, marries Boaz. She bears a son, Obed, an ancestor of David. Her mother, Naomi, a poverty stricken widow, is provided for because of Ruth’s marriage to Boaz. In other words, two powerless women’s lives are redeemed because of Boaz’s love for them.
Just as Boaz cared for Ruth and Naomi in their situation of powerlessness, Jan cared for us who were foreigners, trying to get home. The marriage of Ruth and Boaz was redeeming, not just for them but for Naomi, and the descendants of the faith community that would follow. When people experience redemption it can transcend a whole community.
One time I received a phone call from a couple in my community who wanted me to officiate at their wedding. Both she and her fiancé were Roman Catholic. It was a second marriage for both of them. When I told her they could have her wedding at the church where I served, she was elated. She really didn’t think that they would find a church where they could be married.
For me, it was a transforming event. It turned out that the couple also wanted to have communion. I ended up serving communion to an all-Catholic congregation. I have performed over 400 weddings and I am always amazed at what happens behind the scenes. Complete strangers, relatives and friends of the bride and groom come together for the first time. And on many occasions, I have witnessed healings between friends and relatives who have been estranged from one another. Another phenomenon is that all those presently married are hearing their vows repeated which enriches their marriage. Weddings are a time of great joy, a time of new beginnings but most importantly they can be a time of redemption.
Rev. Dr. Keith Wagner is the pastor of St. John's UCC in Troy, Ohio. He has served churches in Southwest Ohio for over three decades. He is an ordained minister of the United Church of Christ and has an M.Div. from Methodist Theological School, Delaware, Ohio, and a D.Min. from United Theological Seminary in Dayton, Ohio. He has also been an adjunct professor at Edison Community College, Piqua, Ohio. He and his wife, Lin, live in Springfield, Ohio.
*****************************************
StoryShare, November 8, 2015, issue.
Copyright 2015 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to the StoryShare service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons, in worship and classroom settings, in brief devotions, in radio spots, and as newsletter fillers. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to permissions@csspub.com or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., 5450 N. Dixie Highway, Lima, Ohio 45807.
"Forgive and Forget" by Keith Wagner
"Times of Redemption" by Keith Wagner
Forgive and Forget
by Keith Wagner
Hebrews 9:24-28
During my teaching career in counseling I used the textbook entitled, Interviewing and Action in a Multicultural World, by Murphy and Dillon. The textbook included video clips of counselors working with clients.
In one episode, Vinnie was a young man who got into trouble with the law because of drugs. He hung around with the wrong crowd and fortunately he was probated to a half-way house. He was assigned to a counselor who was really worth her salt. During a session she told him that she observed him playing basketball. She noticed that he frequently passed the ball to others so they could make a shot. She said this was symbolic of who he was as a person. He actually cared for others and wanted others to succeed.
That session changed Vinnie’s life. Never before had anyone said something positive to him. It was a decisive moment and it enabled him to go forward with his life.
What Vinnie experienced though that counselor was a God who forgets sins but remembers good deeds. God does more than forgive, God forgets. Since God is a God of grace we don’t have to let others control us with their grudges and inability to forget. It may take years for reconciliation to happen but God wants us to be “unwavering” in our faith. The only true way to grasp the nature of God’s unconditional forgiveness is to be people who forget, just as God has forgotten.
People are human and there will be some who just won’t forget. But, we don’t have to let the controlling memories of others keep us from moving forward.
In Hebrews we hear these words; “But as it is, Jesus has appeared once for all at the end of the age to remove sin by the sacrifice of himself.” In other words the forgiveness of God is total and everlasting. This was the purpose of this passage in Hebrews. The writer (most likely Paul) contrasts the priestly role of Jesus with the priests of the day. The priests repeated the temple ritual of animal sacrifice, over and over. The writer is saying that their work was essentially futile, because it was never finished. On the other hand, Jesus finished his work. His one-time atonement for our sins was enough because the forgiveness of Jesus was totally unconditional.
It’s not a simple thing to forgive others. What ultimately matters is a change in our behavior. In the book, Putting Forgiveness Into Practice, Doris Donnelly tells the story of The Forgiving Son.
In her story a seven-year-old boy was riding in the back seat of the car. Suddenly, in a fit of anger, his mother, who was driving, spun around and struck him across the face. Then she yelled at him: "And you! I never wanted you. The only reason I had you was to keep your father. But then he left anyway. I hate you," she said.
That scene branded itself on the boy's memory. During the years that followed, his mother reinforced her feelings toward him by constantly finding fault with him. Years later, that son told a friend: "I can't tell you how many times in the ensuing years I have relived that experience, probably thousands." Then he added: "But recently I put myself in my mother's shoes. She was a high school graduate with no money, no job, and a family to support. I realized how lonely and depressed she must have felt. I thought of the anger and the pain that must have been there. And I thought of how much I reminded her of the failure of her young hopes. And so one day I went to visit her and told her that I understood her feelings and that I loved her just the same.” He not only forgave his mother, he forgot what had happened.
We find this unusual since we find it difficult to forgive others completely. Are we able to tolerate someone who has wronged us and completely erase their sins? I think not. When it comes to forgiving others I frequently hear people say, “I can forgive, but I will never forget.” That’s a clever way of saying that forgiveness is conditional. God’s forgiveness however is unconditional and the only way for us to fully understand that God forgets is to be persons who can also forget.
* * *
Times of Redemption
by Keith Wagner
Ruth 3:1-5, 4:13-17
My wife and I recently returned from a cruise which went from Rome to Venice. The trip was amazing as we discovered many new sites and traveled in countries we have never been to before, like Croatia, Montenegro, and Slovenia. We saw the ancient city of Pompeii, the canals of Venice, an underground lake in Greece and the panoramic views of Montenegro.
It was a wonderful experience but our return home was not so wonderful. We missed our overseas connection in Amsterdam and had to spend an extra day. We waited in long lines, which made it difficult for us to rebook a flight. We were tired, hungry and anxious to get home. Since we were in a foreign country it was hard to communicate. At times we felt totally helpless. This was one moment in my life when I felt powerless to do anything. Finally I managed to rebook a flight on Delta Airlines to the US the next morning. At least for the moment we thought all was well.
Unfortunately, the following morning we were bumped from our flight to Atlanta with a connection to Columbus. Lin was devastated and I was in shock. We started to leave when a KLM official told us he was going to help us. He said, “Since you were booked on our airline we have a responsibility to make sure you get home.” He made a phone call then escorted us to a waiting area next to the transfer desk which was a good walk from there. He then told us that he would meet with us in about 30-40 minutes. Lin took a seat and I got us some breakfast. About the time I returned the KLM agent, Jan, met us.
Jan had a complete itinerary with boarding passes. He had booked three flights which would take us back to Columbus where we had left our car. We had been given seats in First Class on the KLM flight to London, our first stop. We had seats on a British Airways flight to Washington DC and confirmation on a flight to Columbus. He gave us vouchers for food and two credit cards to compensate us for our troubles. Lin and I were overwhelmed by the kindness of the KLM airline but really overwhelmed that a complete stranger had taken such a personal interest in us.
We had spent the last twelve days in foreign countries and now we were on our way home. Thanks to the grace of God we had been redeemed.
The story of Ruth is also a story of redemption. Ruth, a Moabite, a gentile, marries Boaz. She bears a son, Obed, an ancestor of David. Her mother, Naomi, a poverty stricken widow, is provided for because of Ruth’s marriage to Boaz. In other words, two powerless women’s lives are redeemed because of Boaz’s love for them.
Just as Boaz cared for Ruth and Naomi in their situation of powerlessness, Jan cared for us who were foreigners, trying to get home. The marriage of Ruth and Boaz was redeeming, not just for them but for Naomi, and the descendants of the faith community that would follow. When people experience redemption it can transcend a whole community.
One time I received a phone call from a couple in my community who wanted me to officiate at their wedding. Both she and her fiancé were Roman Catholic. It was a second marriage for both of them. When I told her they could have her wedding at the church where I served, she was elated. She really didn’t think that they would find a church where they could be married.
For me, it was a transforming event. It turned out that the couple also wanted to have communion. I ended up serving communion to an all-Catholic congregation. I have performed over 400 weddings and I am always amazed at what happens behind the scenes. Complete strangers, relatives and friends of the bride and groom come together for the first time. And on many occasions, I have witnessed healings between friends and relatives who have been estranged from one another. Another phenomenon is that all those presently married are hearing their vows repeated which enriches their marriage. Weddings are a time of great joy, a time of new beginnings but most importantly they can be a time of redemption.
Rev. Dr. Keith Wagner is the pastor of St. John's UCC in Troy, Ohio. He has served churches in Southwest Ohio for over three decades. He is an ordained minister of the United Church of Christ and has an M.Div. from Methodist Theological School, Delaware, Ohio, and a D.Min. from United Theological Seminary in Dayton, Ohio. He has also been an adjunct professor at Edison Community College, Piqua, Ohio. He and his wife, Lin, live in Springfield, Ohio.
*****************************************
StoryShare, November 8, 2015, issue.
Copyright 2015 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to the StoryShare service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons, in worship and classroom settings, in brief devotions, in radio spots, and as newsletter fillers. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to permissions@csspub.com or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., 5450 N. Dixie Highway, Lima, Ohio 45807.
