Mothering God
Stories
Object:
Contents
A Story to Live By: "Mothering God"
Sharing Visions: "Just Let Go" by Bonny J. Bailey
Good Stories: "Five Smooth Stones" by Bruce Stunkard
Scrap Pile: "Beginnings and Endings" by Pamela J.Tinnin
Seeking "Holy Moments" Stories
It usually starts to get thin in the pews about this time of year in the place where we worship. Many of the "faithful" are sleeping in at the cottage or are making their way across the country in cars heavy with kids and camping gear. They will start to trickle back about the time school shopping begins near the end of August. What's it like where you worship in the summer? Do you have many folks who take a vacation from church? What do you do to keep in touch with the seasonal dropouts? Do you have any summer programs that have worked well? Drop us a line at jsumwalt@naspa.net.
We are grateful to Bonny Bailey for sharing a wonderful personal experience story this week. In a time of overwhelming difficulties, she received a message from God that comforted her troubled soul and has sustained her ever since. Bruce Stunkard gives us a story/drama based on the tale of David and Goliath. Check out Pam Tinnin's piece in the Scrap Pile. It is a lovely reflection on "Beginnings and Endings" which she wrote for her church newsletter, in part as a way of announcing the birth of a new grandchild. Do you have pictures, Pam?
John & Jo Sumwalt
A Story to Live By
Mothering God
In The Essence of Julian (Northstone, 2002), his paraphrase of Julian of Norwich's Revelations of Divine Love, Ralph Milton tells how Julian struggles to find a way to describe the God who loves us so completely. "Julian speaks of a 'mothering God' who yearns constantly for our welfare -- who wants nothing more than to hold us close as a mother holds her child."
In one of her visions of Christ on the cross, Julian experiences a kind of explanation of God's love in Christ. She sees a mighty king "who was warm and kind to a very poor, very lowly servant. This vision was full of warmth and love." Julian writes, "I couldn't stop saying, 'Bless the Lord!' for I realized that God made all things for love, and by that same love all things are preserved and protected and always shall be." (Milton, pp. 15, 26, 28)
The psalmist writes, "And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you."
(Psalm 9:10)
Ralph Milton hosts an online discussion group, Julian's Cell, at www.joinhands.com. And he edits a lively and fun newsletter called RUMORS, which is available free on the net. It's for "active Christians with a sense of humor." To subscribe, send a blank e-mail to rumors-subscribe@joinhands.com. (Don't put anything else in that e-mail.)
Sharing Visions
Just Let Go
by Bonny J. Bailey
As we work together with him, we urge you also not to accept the grace of God in vain. For he says, "At an acceptable time I have listened to you, and on a day of salvation I have helped you." See, now is the acceptable time; see, now is the day of salvation!
2 Corinthians 6:1-2
My first husband was an alcoholic, which made for a very rough marriage. We had four children and I wanted to stay together. I tried to do everything I could to make him happy and to make the marriage work. Despite this, it wasn't working.
One night, after yet another of our arguments, I sat on the stairs leading to our basement. There were no lights on and no nearby windows, just brick walls surrounding me. I felt as though I was at the bottom of a pit. I put my head down and cried, pleading with God, "Lord, I just can't take this anymore. I don't know what else to do, I've tried everything to keep this marriage going. Please help me. You've got to tell me what to do!"
All of a sudden, I felt like someone had placed a hand my shoulder and all the heavy weight was being lifted off my back. As that weight was lifted, I looked up and saw a glowing light in the middle of the room. As I looked into the light, I heard a voice in my head saying, "Just let go, everything will be all right."
I stood up feeling very relaxed, and then went back upstairs and told my husband to do what he wanted to do. I then went to bed and had the best sleep that I had in a long time. I ended up getting a divorce. It was rough at times, but everything ended up for the best.
I believe God was telling me that I was trying too hard to control too many things. I just had to let go and let him take over in my life. Through the years I have been guided by that voice, only without the light. I have grown to trust in the Lord with all my heart. I know he is in charge, not me.
Bonny J. Bailey is a member of Christ United Methodist Church in Greenfield, Wisconsin, where she leads a group called Companions in Christ. She just completed participation in a three-year covenant community and has been involved in many Bible study classes. Bonny has published poems and loves to write. She is retired and has been happily remarried for many years.
Good Stories
Five Smooth Stones
by Bruce Stunkard
Then he took his staff in his hand, and chose five smooth stones from the wadi, and put them in his shepherd's bag, in the pouch; his sling was in his hand, and he drew near the Philistine.
1 Samuel 17:40
In those days, the land was a spiritual desert with no one to lead the people to God. Everyone did what seemed right in their own eyes, and the voice of God was seldom heard. Violence and injustice caused the people to groan. Crying out, they said, "Lord, we have done harm against you by valuing other things over you. Do to us whatever seems good to you, but please, deliver us." And God heard their cry and could bear their suffering no longer.
Meanwhile, a prophet wept near a lake, crying because of what was going on. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared and nudged the prophet's side. "Get up quickly and dry your eyes. Do you think your tears can water this arid land? God has heard the cries and is now sending you to anoint a leader for God's people. Gather from the water five smooth stones and go to the fields to give them to the one I have chosen." So the prophet immediately did what the angel commanded, reaching down into the cold water to gather the stones, and then left in haste.
When the prophet arrived at the fields where the flocks were grazing, he came upon a water well and rested next to it. After some time had passed, a young girl drew near to the well to draw water for her flock. Suddenly the prophet heard the voice of God saying, "Rise up and anoint her, for she is the one." So the prophet rose up, ran to the girl, and said, "Greetings, O favored one. The Lord is with you."
She hesitated, and drew back from the prophet because what he said disturbed her. "What type of greeting can this possibly be?" she wondered. But the prophet reassured her. "Do not be afraid, for you have found grace in the eyes of God. Listen! God has chosen you to lead God's people."
"Me? I don't know what to say," she replied. "How can this be possible, since I am only a girl?"
The prophet swiftly rebuked her, saying, "Don't say you are only a girl! You are the chosen one, and you shall go where God will send you. Don't be afraid, for God is with you to deliver. Remember, with God nothing is impossible."
She replied, "But who am I to lead God's people? What if they don't believe that God has chosen me to lead them? How shall they ever be convinced?"
"This will be a sign for the people that I have sent you," says the Lord. "When you have defeated five giants, you shall worship God with the whole community in this place."
Suddenly shaken by his words, she asked, "Did you say five giants? With what am I to defeat five giants?"
"With these," smiled the prophet, as he placed into her hand the five smooth stones.
She looked at the stones in astonishment, and then began to laugh mockingly. "With these? With pebbles? God expects me to fight giants with pebbles? What kind of foolishness is this?"
"God's foolishness," answered the prophet. "It is wiser than the wisdom of humans, and God's weakness is stronger than human strength. For God has chosen the foolish to shame the wise, and the puny to shame the strong, and the nothings of this world to bring to nothing the things that are, so that no one can take the credit from God by saying, 'My own hand has delivered me.'"
She gulped hard, then asked, "When will this all take place?"
"Look," pointed the prophet, "the giant is almost near. Its name is Goliath. It is the champion of all that seeks to intimidate creation through its craftiness, strength, and arrogance. It mocks God and laughs at all who trust in God. You must challenge it face to face, or it will dominate you and carry you off to a shadow land of fear and trembling."
"I'm so afraid," she said.
"You must be strong and courageous," replied the prophet. "Don't be terrified, or discouraged, for your God will be with you wherever you go."
She was not comforted by his words. "But I feel so alone," she whispered.
"For you to prevail, you must overcome your fear of being abandoned," spoke the prophet, "for those who fear abandonment will find themselves imprisoned behind bars of despair. Be not afraid, only believe -- for God will never leave you or forsake you. God's full and unlimited love will vanquish your fear."
She raised up her head to look at him. "Even if I were to succeed in overcoming the first giant, how could I ever hope to defeat four more?" she asked.
"That's easy," said the prophet, "you won't have to."
His words surprised her. "What? I thought you told me that I was to defeat five giants. Why else would God give me five stones?" she asked.
The prophet explained, "You are to challenge the first giant, and for that you will need only one stone. As for the other giants, they may come when you least expect them and they could find you unprepared or even weary. When they come, you are to cry out, and God will send others into your life to aid you in defeating them. Those remaining four stones are to be a reminder that you cannot overcome by yourself all the giants that will confront you in your life. You must only stay near to those who listen for God's voice."
For a long time she pondered his words. Then she lifted her head and said, "Here I am, send me, for I am the servant of God. Let it be with me according to your word." So she bowed her head and the prophet anointed her. She then bent down to pick up her staff leaning against the well, placed the five smooth stones in the pouch of her shepherd's bag, and with her sling in her hand, she went out to confront the giant.
Bruce Stunkard is a circuit-riding United Methodist preacher serving Ellsworth, Hartland, and Diamond Bluff United Methodist Churches in northwestern Wisconsin. The father of two, Bruce is a teacher of Ennegram, and enjoys woodworking, kayaking, searching for stones, and Lake Superior. Write to him at 520 River Hills Drive, River Falls, WI 54022. Phone 715-425-1196.
Scrap Pile
Beginnings and Endings
by Pamela J. Tinnin
I received a baby picture via e-mail today -- a pretty round-faced infant with soft, downy hair, the son of my nephew Ben and his wife Akemi. We seem to be having a baby boom in our circle of family and friends. Our grandson Atticus James made his appearance on April 4.
I've heard that expression "the miracle of birth," and it's true; birth is indeed a miracle. I learned that on the sheep ranch when every birth of a lamb would leave me humbled by the mystery and perfection of life's beginnings. I remember my first lambing season and that first lamb, silent and unmoving on the straw. I feared it was dead, but suddenly there came a squeaky little sneeze, the lamb shook its floppy wet ears, and within minutes it began to struggle to stand on its tiny hooves.
Baby Atticus was delivered by Caesarian, so we did not share his first moments of life. Instead, the four prospective grandparents waited nervously in a nearby hallway. When two nurses appeared pushing a clear plastic isolette, we caught sight of him, squirming and flailing his hands, his skin brightly pink. Like my Oklahoma grandma used to say, "He's the spittin' image of his daddy," and he is, at least he was in those first quick glimpses. Their Polaroid baby pictures taken only moments after birth are nearly interchangeable.
When Atticus' father Tyrell was born nearly twenty-two years ago, the doctor laid him face down on my chest. The baby, only minutes old, raised his head, opened his eyes, and looked at me. They say newborns cannot see, other than light and shadow. Whether that is true or not, as I looked into his eyes in those early morning hours, all I could think was, "I know you... you are mine."
Atticus' entrance into the world was a little rough and he stayed his first five days in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Via Christi. The first time I held him, he was hooked up to the machines that helped him breathe and kept track of his heartbeat, his pulse, his blood pressure. Even at 8 pounds 15 ounces (the exact birth weight of his father), he felt small in my arms. When his eyes slowly opened, I remembered those same words I'd thought when I saw his father.
I also have three California grandsons. We do not know each other well -- their parents are no longer together, which makes visiting more difficult on my once-a-year trips there. Jacob, Corey, and Byron are handsome, lively boys, 8, 9, and 10, their shiny black hair, dark eyes and skin from their mother's people, the Pomos, indigenous to California long before it was a state or had a name. Their pictures hang with all the rest of our family, and though I do not see them often, they are mine just as surely as Atticus and any babies to come.
"During these last months, there has also been much sadness in our church family and community what with the constant war news and the long list of friends and family who have died just since the first of the year."
Beginnings and endings and all the days in between ... life itself. Our task? To welcome the newest of God's children with rejoicing and celebration, to bid a loving farewell to those who must leave us, and in the meantime to help each other move through our days with at least a bit of grace.
The Monday after my grandson was born, I was at the bedside of Fritz Hirst. Hospice had been called in, and Fritz spent his last days in a hospital bed in the middle of the dining room of the house where he was raised, a small white house just across the road from the parsonage. By then Fritz wasn't talking much, but just held my hand. I said a few words, prayed for him, and sat there a while. When I stood up to go, he held on, so I turned back. I remembered then I had the picture the nurses took of our new grandson in my pocket. I held it close for him to see. Fritz took his hand out of mine and stuck up his thumb in a congratulatory gesture, the slightest smile on his face. The last thing he said to me was, "Don't get lost, buddy."
Fritz died the next evening, surrounded by his family and closest friends. I came to be with them to wait for the mortuary people, to talk, to pray with them, to say my own good-byes. We buried him that Friday on a warm and sunny spring morning, the seventh funeral since January. Thinking of Atticus' arrival and of my own babies, thinking of that long list of names and the time I shared with those folks, I have to wonder that perhaps our endings are more like our beginnings than we realize. It's hard work to get into this world, and just as hard work to leave it, but there is a sacred moment when we enter the new life that is waiting for us. At our dying, like at our borning, there is a moment when we are recognized and claimed, claimed as God's own, when God whispers in our ear, "I know you ... you are mine."
Pamela Tinnin is pastor of Partridge Community Church (United Church of Christ), the only church in Partridge, Kansas (population 250). She was an editor at the University of California-Berkeley for ten years, a freelance writer, and a sheep rancher. Recently Pam collaborated with two United Methodist pastors on a collection of dramatic monologue sermons. The book will be released in the fall of 2004 by CSS Publishing Company.
**********************************************
Seeking "Holy Moments" Stories
We are pleased to announce that the second volume in the vision series, titled Sharing Visions: Divine Revelations, Angels, and Holy Coincidences [link to 0-7880-1970-8], has now been released. It is available from CSS Publishing Company by calling 1-800-241-4056.
The 85 contributing authors include the Canadian writer Ralph Milton, author of Julian's Cell; singers Kerri Sherwood, Cheryl Kirking, and Lee Domann; professor Linda J. Vogel of Garrett-Evangelical Seminary; and Rosmarie Trapp, whose family story was told in the movie The Sound of Music. Rosmarie also has a wonderful story in Vision Stories [link to 0-7880-1896-5].
John and Jo are collecting personal stories for a third volume in the vision series, to be released in 2004. The working title is Holy Moments: Life-Changing Visions And Other Signs of God's Presence. They are broadening the scope a bit to include any experience of the holy. Send stories to jsumwalt@naspa.net.
Praise For Sharing Visions
Bishop Richard Wilke, creator of the Disciple Bible Study series, writes: "I am rejoicing as I read the testimonies in Sharing Visions. What an inspiration! I recall my father, an unemotional man, telling me that his mother (who had died some years before) appeared to him in a dream and gave him counsel on a difficult decision he was wrestling with."
To learn more about John and Jo Sumwalt, visit their church website: http://www.waumc.org/. Click on "staff" for bios and photos.
StoryShare, June 22, 2003, issue.
Copyright 2003 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to the StoryShare service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons, in worship and classroom settings, in brief devotions, in radio spots, and as newsletter fillers. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to permissions@csspub.com or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., P.O. Box 4503, Lima, Ohio 45802-4503.
A Story to Live By: "Mothering God"
Sharing Visions: "Just Let Go" by Bonny J. Bailey
Good Stories: "Five Smooth Stones" by Bruce Stunkard
Scrap Pile: "Beginnings and Endings" by Pamela J.Tinnin
Seeking "Holy Moments" Stories
It usually starts to get thin in the pews about this time of year in the place where we worship. Many of the "faithful" are sleeping in at the cottage or are making their way across the country in cars heavy with kids and camping gear. They will start to trickle back about the time school shopping begins near the end of August. What's it like where you worship in the summer? Do you have many folks who take a vacation from church? What do you do to keep in touch with the seasonal dropouts? Do you have any summer programs that have worked well? Drop us a line at jsumwalt@naspa.net.
We are grateful to Bonny Bailey for sharing a wonderful personal experience story this week. In a time of overwhelming difficulties, she received a message from God that comforted her troubled soul and has sustained her ever since. Bruce Stunkard gives us a story/drama based on the tale of David and Goliath. Check out Pam Tinnin's piece in the Scrap Pile. It is a lovely reflection on "Beginnings and Endings" which she wrote for her church newsletter, in part as a way of announcing the birth of a new grandchild. Do you have pictures, Pam?
John & Jo Sumwalt
A Story to Live By
Mothering God
In The Essence of Julian (Northstone, 2002), his paraphrase of Julian of Norwich's Revelations of Divine Love, Ralph Milton tells how Julian struggles to find a way to describe the God who loves us so completely. "Julian speaks of a 'mothering God' who yearns constantly for our welfare -- who wants nothing more than to hold us close as a mother holds her child."
In one of her visions of Christ on the cross, Julian experiences a kind of explanation of God's love in Christ. She sees a mighty king "who was warm and kind to a very poor, very lowly servant. This vision was full of warmth and love." Julian writes, "I couldn't stop saying, 'Bless the Lord!' for I realized that God made all things for love, and by that same love all things are preserved and protected and always shall be." (Milton, pp. 15, 26, 28)
The psalmist writes, "And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you."
(Psalm 9:10)
Ralph Milton hosts an online discussion group, Julian's Cell, at www.joinhands.com. And he edits a lively and fun newsletter called RUMORS, which is available free on the net. It's for "active Christians with a sense of humor." To subscribe, send a blank e-mail to rumors-subscribe@joinhands.com. (Don't put anything else in that e-mail.)
Sharing Visions
Just Let Go
by Bonny J. Bailey
As we work together with him, we urge you also not to accept the grace of God in vain. For he says, "At an acceptable time I have listened to you, and on a day of salvation I have helped you." See, now is the acceptable time; see, now is the day of salvation!
2 Corinthians 6:1-2
My first husband was an alcoholic, which made for a very rough marriage. We had four children and I wanted to stay together. I tried to do everything I could to make him happy and to make the marriage work. Despite this, it wasn't working.
One night, after yet another of our arguments, I sat on the stairs leading to our basement. There were no lights on and no nearby windows, just brick walls surrounding me. I felt as though I was at the bottom of a pit. I put my head down and cried, pleading with God, "Lord, I just can't take this anymore. I don't know what else to do, I've tried everything to keep this marriage going. Please help me. You've got to tell me what to do!"
All of a sudden, I felt like someone had placed a hand my shoulder and all the heavy weight was being lifted off my back. As that weight was lifted, I looked up and saw a glowing light in the middle of the room. As I looked into the light, I heard a voice in my head saying, "Just let go, everything will be all right."
I stood up feeling very relaxed, and then went back upstairs and told my husband to do what he wanted to do. I then went to bed and had the best sleep that I had in a long time. I ended up getting a divorce. It was rough at times, but everything ended up for the best.
I believe God was telling me that I was trying too hard to control too many things. I just had to let go and let him take over in my life. Through the years I have been guided by that voice, only without the light. I have grown to trust in the Lord with all my heart. I know he is in charge, not me.
Bonny J. Bailey is a member of Christ United Methodist Church in Greenfield, Wisconsin, where she leads a group called Companions in Christ. She just completed participation in a three-year covenant community and has been involved in many Bible study classes. Bonny has published poems and loves to write. She is retired and has been happily remarried for many years.
Good Stories
Five Smooth Stones
by Bruce Stunkard
Then he took his staff in his hand, and chose five smooth stones from the wadi, and put them in his shepherd's bag, in the pouch; his sling was in his hand, and he drew near the Philistine.
1 Samuel 17:40
In those days, the land was a spiritual desert with no one to lead the people to God. Everyone did what seemed right in their own eyes, and the voice of God was seldom heard. Violence and injustice caused the people to groan. Crying out, they said, "Lord, we have done harm against you by valuing other things over you. Do to us whatever seems good to you, but please, deliver us." And God heard their cry and could bear their suffering no longer.
Meanwhile, a prophet wept near a lake, crying because of what was going on. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared and nudged the prophet's side. "Get up quickly and dry your eyes. Do you think your tears can water this arid land? God has heard the cries and is now sending you to anoint a leader for God's people. Gather from the water five smooth stones and go to the fields to give them to the one I have chosen." So the prophet immediately did what the angel commanded, reaching down into the cold water to gather the stones, and then left in haste.
When the prophet arrived at the fields where the flocks were grazing, he came upon a water well and rested next to it. After some time had passed, a young girl drew near to the well to draw water for her flock. Suddenly the prophet heard the voice of God saying, "Rise up and anoint her, for she is the one." So the prophet rose up, ran to the girl, and said, "Greetings, O favored one. The Lord is with you."
She hesitated, and drew back from the prophet because what he said disturbed her. "What type of greeting can this possibly be?" she wondered. But the prophet reassured her. "Do not be afraid, for you have found grace in the eyes of God. Listen! God has chosen you to lead God's people."
"Me? I don't know what to say," she replied. "How can this be possible, since I am only a girl?"
The prophet swiftly rebuked her, saying, "Don't say you are only a girl! You are the chosen one, and you shall go where God will send you. Don't be afraid, for God is with you to deliver. Remember, with God nothing is impossible."
She replied, "But who am I to lead God's people? What if they don't believe that God has chosen me to lead them? How shall they ever be convinced?"
"This will be a sign for the people that I have sent you," says the Lord. "When you have defeated five giants, you shall worship God with the whole community in this place."
Suddenly shaken by his words, she asked, "Did you say five giants? With what am I to defeat five giants?"
"With these," smiled the prophet, as he placed into her hand the five smooth stones.
She looked at the stones in astonishment, and then began to laugh mockingly. "With these? With pebbles? God expects me to fight giants with pebbles? What kind of foolishness is this?"
"God's foolishness," answered the prophet. "It is wiser than the wisdom of humans, and God's weakness is stronger than human strength. For God has chosen the foolish to shame the wise, and the puny to shame the strong, and the nothings of this world to bring to nothing the things that are, so that no one can take the credit from God by saying, 'My own hand has delivered me.'"
She gulped hard, then asked, "When will this all take place?"
"Look," pointed the prophet, "the giant is almost near. Its name is Goliath. It is the champion of all that seeks to intimidate creation through its craftiness, strength, and arrogance. It mocks God and laughs at all who trust in God. You must challenge it face to face, or it will dominate you and carry you off to a shadow land of fear and trembling."
"I'm so afraid," she said.
"You must be strong and courageous," replied the prophet. "Don't be terrified, or discouraged, for your God will be with you wherever you go."
She was not comforted by his words. "But I feel so alone," she whispered.
"For you to prevail, you must overcome your fear of being abandoned," spoke the prophet, "for those who fear abandonment will find themselves imprisoned behind bars of despair. Be not afraid, only believe -- for God will never leave you or forsake you. God's full and unlimited love will vanquish your fear."
She raised up her head to look at him. "Even if I were to succeed in overcoming the first giant, how could I ever hope to defeat four more?" she asked.
"That's easy," said the prophet, "you won't have to."
His words surprised her. "What? I thought you told me that I was to defeat five giants. Why else would God give me five stones?" she asked.
The prophet explained, "You are to challenge the first giant, and for that you will need only one stone. As for the other giants, they may come when you least expect them and they could find you unprepared or even weary. When they come, you are to cry out, and God will send others into your life to aid you in defeating them. Those remaining four stones are to be a reminder that you cannot overcome by yourself all the giants that will confront you in your life. You must only stay near to those who listen for God's voice."
For a long time she pondered his words. Then she lifted her head and said, "Here I am, send me, for I am the servant of God. Let it be with me according to your word." So she bowed her head and the prophet anointed her. She then bent down to pick up her staff leaning against the well, placed the five smooth stones in the pouch of her shepherd's bag, and with her sling in her hand, she went out to confront the giant.
Bruce Stunkard is a circuit-riding United Methodist preacher serving Ellsworth, Hartland, and Diamond Bluff United Methodist Churches in northwestern Wisconsin. The father of two, Bruce is a teacher of Ennegram, and enjoys woodworking, kayaking, searching for stones, and Lake Superior. Write to him at 520 River Hills Drive, River Falls, WI 54022. Phone 715-425-1196.
Scrap Pile
Beginnings and Endings
by Pamela J. Tinnin
I received a baby picture via e-mail today -- a pretty round-faced infant with soft, downy hair, the son of my nephew Ben and his wife Akemi. We seem to be having a baby boom in our circle of family and friends. Our grandson Atticus James made his appearance on April 4.
I've heard that expression "the miracle of birth," and it's true; birth is indeed a miracle. I learned that on the sheep ranch when every birth of a lamb would leave me humbled by the mystery and perfection of life's beginnings. I remember my first lambing season and that first lamb, silent and unmoving on the straw. I feared it was dead, but suddenly there came a squeaky little sneeze, the lamb shook its floppy wet ears, and within minutes it began to struggle to stand on its tiny hooves.
Baby Atticus was delivered by Caesarian, so we did not share his first moments of life. Instead, the four prospective grandparents waited nervously in a nearby hallway. When two nurses appeared pushing a clear plastic isolette, we caught sight of him, squirming and flailing his hands, his skin brightly pink. Like my Oklahoma grandma used to say, "He's the spittin' image of his daddy," and he is, at least he was in those first quick glimpses. Their Polaroid baby pictures taken only moments after birth are nearly interchangeable.
When Atticus' father Tyrell was born nearly twenty-two years ago, the doctor laid him face down on my chest. The baby, only minutes old, raised his head, opened his eyes, and looked at me. They say newborns cannot see, other than light and shadow. Whether that is true or not, as I looked into his eyes in those early morning hours, all I could think was, "I know you... you are mine."
Atticus' entrance into the world was a little rough and he stayed his first five days in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Via Christi. The first time I held him, he was hooked up to the machines that helped him breathe and kept track of his heartbeat, his pulse, his blood pressure. Even at 8 pounds 15 ounces (the exact birth weight of his father), he felt small in my arms. When his eyes slowly opened, I remembered those same words I'd thought when I saw his father.
I also have three California grandsons. We do not know each other well -- their parents are no longer together, which makes visiting more difficult on my once-a-year trips there. Jacob, Corey, and Byron are handsome, lively boys, 8, 9, and 10, their shiny black hair, dark eyes and skin from their mother's people, the Pomos, indigenous to California long before it was a state or had a name. Their pictures hang with all the rest of our family, and though I do not see them often, they are mine just as surely as Atticus and any babies to come.
"During these last months, there has also been much sadness in our church family and community what with the constant war news and the long list of friends and family who have died just since the first of the year."
Beginnings and endings and all the days in between ... life itself. Our task? To welcome the newest of God's children with rejoicing and celebration, to bid a loving farewell to those who must leave us, and in the meantime to help each other move through our days with at least a bit of grace.
The Monday after my grandson was born, I was at the bedside of Fritz Hirst. Hospice had been called in, and Fritz spent his last days in a hospital bed in the middle of the dining room of the house where he was raised, a small white house just across the road from the parsonage. By then Fritz wasn't talking much, but just held my hand. I said a few words, prayed for him, and sat there a while. When I stood up to go, he held on, so I turned back. I remembered then I had the picture the nurses took of our new grandson in my pocket. I held it close for him to see. Fritz took his hand out of mine and stuck up his thumb in a congratulatory gesture, the slightest smile on his face. The last thing he said to me was, "Don't get lost, buddy."
Fritz died the next evening, surrounded by his family and closest friends. I came to be with them to wait for the mortuary people, to talk, to pray with them, to say my own good-byes. We buried him that Friday on a warm and sunny spring morning, the seventh funeral since January. Thinking of Atticus' arrival and of my own babies, thinking of that long list of names and the time I shared with those folks, I have to wonder that perhaps our endings are more like our beginnings than we realize. It's hard work to get into this world, and just as hard work to leave it, but there is a sacred moment when we enter the new life that is waiting for us. At our dying, like at our borning, there is a moment when we are recognized and claimed, claimed as God's own, when God whispers in our ear, "I know you ... you are mine."
Pamela Tinnin is pastor of Partridge Community Church (United Church of Christ), the only church in Partridge, Kansas (population 250). She was an editor at the University of California-Berkeley for ten years, a freelance writer, and a sheep rancher. Recently Pam collaborated with two United Methodist pastors on a collection of dramatic monologue sermons. The book will be released in the fall of 2004 by CSS Publishing Company.
**********************************************
Seeking "Holy Moments" Stories
We are pleased to announce that the second volume in the vision series, titled Sharing Visions: Divine Revelations, Angels, and Holy Coincidences [link to 0-7880-1970-8], has now been released. It is available from CSS Publishing Company by calling 1-800-241-4056.
The 85 contributing authors include the Canadian writer Ralph Milton, author of Julian's Cell; singers Kerri Sherwood, Cheryl Kirking, and Lee Domann; professor Linda J. Vogel of Garrett-Evangelical Seminary; and Rosmarie Trapp, whose family story was told in the movie The Sound of Music. Rosmarie also has a wonderful story in Vision Stories [link to 0-7880-1896-5].
John and Jo are collecting personal stories for a third volume in the vision series, to be released in 2004. The working title is Holy Moments: Life-Changing Visions And Other Signs of God's Presence. They are broadening the scope a bit to include any experience of the holy. Send stories to jsumwalt@naspa.net.
Praise For Sharing Visions
Bishop Richard Wilke, creator of the Disciple Bible Study series, writes: "I am rejoicing as I read the testimonies in Sharing Visions. What an inspiration! I recall my father, an unemotional man, telling me that his mother (who had died some years before) appeared to him in a dream and gave him counsel on a difficult decision he was wrestling with."
To learn more about John and Jo Sumwalt, visit their church website: http://www.waumc.org/. Click on "staff" for bios and photos.
StoryShare, June 22, 2003, issue.
Copyright 2003 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to the StoryShare service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons, in worship and classroom settings, in brief devotions, in radio spots, and as newsletter fillers. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to permissions@csspub.com or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., P.O. Box 4503, Lima, Ohio 45802-4503.
