Eternal Life -- For The Childish, Or The Childlike?
Sermon
Here in England we're now well into the wedding season, in which many young couples will follow the age old tradition of plighting their troth. Some of them will do so here in Pulham St. Mary church, and several more here in our benefice in South Norfolk.
Although our country has the highest divorce rate in the whole of Europe and is second only to the United States in the world, and although many couples now live together outside marriage, nonetheless marriage is still a very popular institution.
But as anyone who has ever been married knows, marriage isn't easy. Perhaps one of the difficulties is the way in which relationships change after marriage.
During the courting process, many young couples do almost everything together. Usually their greatest desire is to be with each other, and so the girl will often support her man by huddling on the touchline of the rugby pitch in the depths of winter. And the man will often support his girl by sitting in the back row of the cinema watching romantic films.
It may be that the girl can't stand rugby, but she wants to be with her man. And it may be that the man can't stand romantic films, but he wants to be with his girl in the back seat of the cinema.
At some point during marriage those needs and desires change a little, and in a healthy marriage although they continue to do some things together, each partner will be able to allow the other space to do his or her own thing to some extent.
But that isn't an easy transition to make. Some people don't have the confidence to splash out on their own, and continue to need somebody else to go with them, to always be there, sharing the activity. So if these people are unsupported by their partner they simply stay at home, and never get out to do anything. And that can lead to all sorts of resentments and anger and bad feeling.
The girl who decides after marriage that she really can't stand rugby, but who is happy to allow her man to go off and play once a week will probably survive. But the girl who decides after marriage that she really can't stand rugby and therefore wants her husband to stay at home with her, and does her best to make his life a misery if he insists on going out to play once a week, probably won't survive.
And vice versa - the man who doesn't want to attend church and therefore makes it difficult for his wife if she wants to go. Or the wife who won't attend church unless her husband goes with her.
In a good marriage there has to be give and take, with both partners having the confidence to allow the other some space and freedom. And both partners giving the support which will allow each other to grow with some independence, rather than demanding total dependence by never allowing the other to be out of sight.
It's a bit like children who need an adult to watch whatever they're doing, whether it's riding a bike or diving into the swimming pool. "Look at me Mummy, look at me Daddy, see what I'm doing." Watch me and approve, and I'll feel much better if you join in with me.
The trouble is, when that childhood need for approval is continued into adulthood, it can cause problems. Jesus came up against it when he discovered it was impossible to please all the people all the time.
People complained about John the Baptist because he was so severe in his observance of fasting and abstinence. He was regarded as something of a kill-joy, and was rather too narrow and harsh in his beliefs for many people.
But they also complained about Jesus because he enjoyed eating and drinking and having parties with his friends, and they regarded him as a glutton and a drunk. But Jesus wasn't having that. "You're just like children," Jesus told the people, "always complaining because I don't quite match your expectations. Because I do things my way instead of doing what you want me to do or expect me to do."
Yet just a few verses later on in the same passage, Jesus commends those with a childlike grasp of his message. He says, "I thank you, Father, for hiding these things from the wise and intelligent and revealing them to infants."
Perhaps the difference is between being childish and being childlike. Those who are childish, are immature in their responses to life. They're unhappy if things don't go exactly their way. They need constant support and constant affirmation for all they do. They're unable to function by themselves, but always need somebody with them to affirm them.
Those who are childish haven't yet faced all the realities of life. They may have grown outwardly, but they haven't grown very much inwardly.
The childlike are quite different. They find life a constant source of joy and delight. At some point they've managed to break those bonds which keep them tied to that which is familiar and well-known. They're able to go off and explore by themselves, and they're able to allow other people to go off by themselves too. They tend to be outward looking rather than inward looking, and they're able to value other people for who they are, rather than needing other people to fulfil certain expectations.
Those who are childish tend to have closed minds and can only see life their way. But those who are childlike tend to have open minds and are therefore ready to receive whatever may come their way. And so it's the childlike who hear God's word because they're open to all influences. And it's the childish who miss out because God rarely speaks in the way in which they want him or expect him to speak, and they're too afraid to consider any other way.
And none of that has anything to do with intelligence or brain power. It has much more to do with an innate, childlike, intuitive wisdom, God's wisdom.
Jesus summed it up when he said, "Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it." (Mark 10:15) He was talking about the childlike rather than the childish. He was talking about the qualities of acceptance and joy and the ability to find delight in the simplest of things. He was talking about having an open mind and being prepared to explore in order to discover the truth. He was talking about being able to allow other people to be themselves, rather than always needing them to fulfil expectations.
Those who are able to allow childlike qualities to develop within them, whether within marriage or outside marriage, will begin to experience the Kingdom of God here and now. And anyone who experiences that, discovers a vibrant, exciting, new life. Jesus called it "eternal life."
Although our country has the highest divorce rate in the whole of Europe and is second only to the United States in the world, and although many couples now live together outside marriage, nonetheless marriage is still a very popular institution.
But as anyone who has ever been married knows, marriage isn't easy. Perhaps one of the difficulties is the way in which relationships change after marriage.
During the courting process, many young couples do almost everything together. Usually their greatest desire is to be with each other, and so the girl will often support her man by huddling on the touchline of the rugby pitch in the depths of winter. And the man will often support his girl by sitting in the back row of the cinema watching romantic films.
It may be that the girl can't stand rugby, but she wants to be with her man. And it may be that the man can't stand romantic films, but he wants to be with his girl in the back seat of the cinema.
At some point during marriage those needs and desires change a little, and in a healthy marriage although they continue to do some things together, each partner will be able to allow the other space to do his or her own thing to some extent.
But that isn't an easy transition to make. Some people don't have the confidence to splash out on their own, and continue to need somebody else to go with them, to always be there, sharing the activity. So if these people are unsupported by their partner they simply stay at home, and never get out to do anything. And that can lead to all sorts of resentments and anger and bad feeling.
The girl who decides after marriage that she really can't stand rugby, but who is happy to allow her man to go off and play once a week will probably survive. But the girl who decides after marriage that she really can't stand rugby and therefore wants her husband to stay at home with her, and does her best to make his life a misery if he insists on going out to play once a week, probably won't survive.
And vice versa - the man who doesn't want to attend church and therefore makes it difficult for his wife if she wants to go. Or the wife who won't attend church unless her husband goes with her.
In a good marriage there has to be give and take, with both partners having the confidence to allow the other some space and freedom. And both partners giving the support which will allow each other to grow with some independence, rather than demanding total dependence by never allowing the other to be out of sight.
It's a bit like children who need an adult to watch whatever they're doing, whether it's riding a bike or diving into the swimming pool. "Look at me Mummy, look at me Daddy, see what I'm doing." Watch me and approve, and I'll feel much better if you join in with me.
The trouble is, when that childhood need for approval is continued into adulthood, it can cause problems. Jesus came up against it when he discovered it was impossible to please all the people all the time.
People complained about John the Baptist because he was so severe in his observance of fasting and abstinence. He was regarded as something of a kill-joy, and was rather too narrow and harsh in his beliefs for many people.
But they also complained about Jesus because he enjoyed eating and drinking and having parties with his friends, and they regarded him as a glutton and a drunk. But Jesus wasn't having that. "You're just like children," Jesus told the people, "always complaining because I don't quite match your expectations. Because I do things my way instead of doing what you want me to do or expect me to do."
Yet just a few verses later on in the same passage, Jesus commends those with a childlike grasp of his message. He says, "I thank you, Father, for hiding these things from the wise and intelligent and revealing them to infants."
Perhaps the difference is between being childish and being childlike. Those who are childish, are immature in their responses to life. They're unhappy if things don't go exactly their way. They need constant support and constant affirmation for all they do. They're unable to function by themselves, but always need somebody with them to affirm them.
Those who are childish haven't yet faced all the realities of life. They may have grown outwardly, but they haven't grown very much inwardly.
The childlike are quite different. They find life a constant source of joy and delight. At some point they've managed to break those bonds which keep them tied to that which is familiar and well-known. They're able to go off and explore by themselves, and they're able to allow other people to go off by themselves too. They tend to be outward looking rather than inward looking, and they're able to value other people for who they are, rather than needing other people to fulfil certain expectations.
Those who are childish tend to have closed minds and can only see life their way. But those who are childlike tend to have open minds and are therefore ready to receive whatever may come their way. And so it's the childlike who hear God's word because they're open to all influences. And it's the childish who miss out because God rarely speaks in the way in which they want him or expect him to speak, and they're too afraid to consider any other way.
And none of that has anything to do with intelligence or brain power. It has much more to do with an innate, childlike, intuitive wisdom, God's wisdom.
Jesus summed it up when he said, "Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it." (Mark 10:15) He was talking about the childlike rather than the childish. He was talking about the qualities of acceptance and joy and the ability to find delight in the simplest of things. He was talking about having an open mind and being prepared to explore in order to discover the truth. He was talking about being able to allow other people to be themselves, rather than always needing them to fulfil expectations.
Those who are able to allow childlike qualities to develop within them, whether within marriage or outside marriage, will begin to experience the Kingdom of God here and now. And anyone who experiences that, discovers a vibrant, exciting, new life. Jesus called it "eternal life."
