Call to Repentance through Storytelling
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For August 5, 2018:
Call to Repentance through Storytelling
by Bethany Peerbolte
2 Samuel 11:26--12:13a
Nathan confronts the most powerful man in the kingdom about his sins. He calls David to repent for his sins, and it works! As a people who are called to speak the truth in love what can we learn from the artistry of Nathan’s message. Artistry may be the lesson. Nathan’s story allows David enough space to process the problem and accept his own involvement in the offense. We still have storytellers who are calling us to repent. Filmmakers, comedians, artists around the world use their gifts to hold up mirrors when we would rather look away. Speaking truth to power has never been an easy task but Nathan finds a way to make David see, and our storytellers may be the keys to enacting the repentance and change our world needs today.
In the Scripture
As the story of King David unfolds we come to the point where the dirty deeds are done, and the time has come to face the consequences. In light of modern norms, it would not surprise anyone if King David gets away with adultery and murder because of his power and position. Thankfully, that will not be the case with God’s man Nathan on the scene. The prophet Nathan has watched David make passionate and poor decisions. It is finally time to face David and call him to repent for his actions.
There may be countless reasons why Nathan waits till now to confront David. Nathan could have been afraid of the ramifications of his words. If David decided not to heed the message of repentance Nathan would at best be out of a job; more likely he would be killed. Nathan’s delay could be that he fell victim to the thought “kings will be kings” and turned a blind eye to David’s womanizing until now. Possibly Nathan tried to hint that David’s choices were wrong and the message was never heard nor recorded for us today. Whatever the cause for the timing we find Nathan unable to stay quiet after the murder of Uriah.
Standing in front of the most powerful man to tell him he was wrong, Nathan is indeed putting his life on the line. Nathan has to be clever to safely bring David’s attention to the issue. Nathan decides to tell a story. He roots the tale in a social norm that allowed a person to take a lamb from a neighbor’s flock if an unexpected guest arrives. The rule was meant to ensure hospitality to travelers without travelers being a burden on the poor. As such it was the poorer of the two neighbors who could enact the rule.
In Nathan’s story, however, a rich man with a large prosperous flock takes a lamb from a poor neighbor for his guest’s visit. With this story, Nathan can gage David’s moral compass and adjust, if needed, how he will point out that David’s recent actions parallel the rich man in the story. If David sides with the rich man and tries to reason away the man’s actions, Nathan will know David is farther off the path then he anticipated. Thankfully, the story’s example of misuse of power enrages David and he insists this rich man be held accountable for his wrong doing. David’s reaction allows Nathan to show that David’s choices and action surrounding the affair with Bathsheba are like what the rich man had done in the story.
Nathan says, “You are the man” and lists the abundant blessings God has given David, yet David has chosen to take the one good lamb of a poorer man. Uriah did not deserve to lose his wife or be killed yet David’s action leads to those outcomes. The consequences are now due. Just as David called for judgement on the rich man God is now calling for judgement on David.
David is mature enough to know he has done wrong and repents. Instead of trying to fight, David agrees he has sinned and looks to Nathan to help him repent. Nathan assures David there are consequences, his son by Bathsheba will die, but now that he has chosen to repent David will live.
In the News
The best method to call someone or some corporation or some government to repentance has many question marks around it. There are many methods with varying levels of success. Some methods seem obviously out of bounds. A man in New York beat his girlfriend with a Bible. In Arkansas, a woman killed her husband for looking at pornography. There are other methods with more grey area though.
New York Times Publisher AG Sulzberger recently tried the method of sitting down with his offender to talk about the problem. He had a private heart to heart meeting with President Trump to urge him not to call the news and reporters “evil.” The meeting was prompted after a recent shooting at a newspaper in Maryland. Sulzberger believes the negative rhetoric from the White House encouraged the shooter. At first it seemed the conversation moved Trump and he tweeted that the time with Sulzberger was “very good.” That impression lasted barely a day when another tweet from the President called reporters “unpatriotic.”
In Georgia, young citizens are trying to make safe spaces for their LGBT friends with night clubs and music. The government however is raiding those night clubs. A recent raid prompted young citizens to try the method of public protest in a “Rave Revolution,” an open air rave in the streets to call attention to the mistreatment.
Arkady Babchenko faked his own death in May to try and bring attention to Russia’s involvement in political assassinations. There was a lot of backlash over this attempted method of call to repentance. Some felt he had gone too far, putting his family and friend through the pain of thinking he was dead. While others agreed these extreme demonstrations would be the only thing to draw attention to the issue.
The public response to a call to repentance is a whole other level. Twitter has given everyone a platform to make calls of repentance, but it also allows everyone to comment on the validity of the call. Usually commenters only have a portion of the story onto which they are casting judgement. This week, a woman was asked by a friend to step down as a bridesmaid. When the woman tried to get a refund for her plane ticket from Jet Blue on Twitter, the internet caught fire. Complete strangers turned against the bride and chastised the airline for offering to fly the friends somewhere for free so they could make amends. Twitter users even suggested people boycott Jet Blue if she does not get a full refund. Scott Altman urges us to save boycotts for people who deserve them. Altman says “on one hand, [boycotts] have been important tools for expressing moral outrage and for seeking justice, as they were, for example, in the Montgomery bus boycott. On the other hand, these tools can be used oppressively, like they were in the case of Hollywood blacklists of alleged Communists.” The appropriate call to repentance method is a case by case judgement.
Nathan’s example does point us towards a method that is still very effective today -- storytelling. Leslie Jones, a cast member of Saturday Night Live, recently went on The View to talk about her call to be a comedian. In the interview, Jones expresses the belief that society needs to keep listening to comedians. She believes comedians are the ones who make us laugh through the stressful times while also making us think.
Comedians may just be our modern-day prophets. In her comedy special on Netflix, called Nanette, Hannah Gadsby effortlessly slides from comedy to social commentary. Gadsby grew up in a conservative part of Australia where homosexuality was illegal until 1997. Her childhood was filled with self-hatred and turmoil as she became more aware of her own sexual identity. Abuse, assault, and rejection painted her experience and her only way to cope was to defuse the tension with jokes. Gadsby admits when she wrote the set she assumed she would perform it once and be booed off every stage. Instead she has rocketed into the spotlight. Her success shows society’s readiness to hear these fringe stories and our willingness to do better. Much like the prophet Nathan, Gadsby calls the audience to repentance by weaving a compelling and hilarious story. When the audience is certain she has no malicious intent, she reveals the painful truth behind her jokes and offers a chance to be better.
Gadsby is not the first comedian to infuse laughter with hard truths. Late night hosts often comment on headlines with humor and a razor-focused lens. This week John Oliver’s show, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, looked at work place sexual harassment. In the episode he shows how the #MeToo movement has brought sexual harassment into the social consciousness. With the Oscars being themed around the movement, a record number of women running for office, and major companies having to pay large settlements, we seem to be enacting change. Unfortunately, Oliver points out these trends also describe the 90’s. He interviews Anita Hill, a woman who testified before congress for eight hours 27 years ago about the harassment she suffered. The news that we are repeating history is grim and leaves the viewer wondering how we make change stick.
Other modern day storytellers include our television and movie makers. Their influence on public opinion is immense. Nigeria has a booming film industry, often touted as a new Bollywood. Unfortunately, recent films have perpetuated a social evil that accuses children of being witches. The article “Branded and Beaten” by Marc Ellison illustrates the terrible reality children are living and how the film industry is perpetuating fears. Film is powerful and can be used as a method to call society into repentance and action too. In Papua New Guinea Tuberculosis is still rampant and there is social stigma around the disease. Filmmakers are trying to change that with a documentary. Series and books like The Hand Maid’s Tale, Hunger Games, Westworld, 1985, and so many more warn society of a possible path. These artists seek to turn the collective towards something better.
In the Sermon
Speaking the truth in love is a hard task. A task preachers wrestle with every week as sermons are inspired and crafted. A preacher’s method is generally the same. Read, observe, pray, write, re-write, re-write...step into a pulpit and preach the truth in love. The world is struggling to find its method, and in truth one method will not be enough. This week Nathan tells a story to deflect attention and wrath until David is ready to hear the truth. Truth that his relationship with Bathsheba is sinful and his son by her will die. Later though, Nathan will team up with Bathsheba to make sure Solomon takes the throne. Ones method for change also needs to be open to changing as well.
The sermon this week can challenge congregations to analyze their methods of enacting change. When they feel called to speak truth they should ask “what would Nathan do?” WWND.
If we cannot beat people with the Bible, WWND. If we cannot overreact and shoot people who wrong us, WWND. If we cannot boycott every organization and company that does not share our moral code, WWND. When Rave Revolutions, hash tags, marches, and movements fall short, WWND. When we have private meetings with our offender and testify for eight hours in front of congress and they still fall back into bad choices, WWND.
Perhaps Nathan would get a comedy special on Netflix or a late-night show. Make us find our common humanity through laughter and point out our weaknesses through satire. Maybe Nathan would pick up a camera and make a documentary about societies wrong doing. Giving the audience enough distance from the problem to really hear and digest. Possibly Nathan would film a fictional series that roots it’s dilemma close enough to home that the audience sees the unthinkable before it manifests. Nathan may take up painting or sculpting and show us a world we never could imagine. Challenging us to do better now so we can collectively reach his utopian imagery.
Nathan may simply do as Anita Hill suggests and sit with the victims. Asking how they are doing and making them feel heard.
SECOND THOUGHTS
Mature Like Jesus
by Dean Feldmeyer
Ephesians 4:1-16
Apparently, spiritual maturity, or the lack thereof, was an ongoing concern in the early Christian churches. Paul seems to never tire of talking about it:
In his first letter to the church in Corinth, he says, “We do, however, speak a message of wisdom among the mature, but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing.” (2:6)
He calls on the Philippians to agree with him and each other as, “All of us, then, who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you.” (3:15)
He reminds the Colossians that his goal, in teaching them, is “so that we may present everyone fully mature in Christ.” (1:28). And he reminds them that Epaphras is praying for them so that they “may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured.” (4:12)
So, it comes as no surprise to us that in his letter to the church in Ephesus he admonishes this new and diverse body of Christian believers to work to become mature in their lives together as well as their Christian faith.
But what does it mean to be “mature” in the faith.
For Paul, it means, quite simply, to be like Jesus.
Being like Jesus is the goal and the desire of every Christian and the closer we come to that goal the more mature we are in our Christian faith, not to mention our personal, daily lives and relationships.
Child, Parent, Adult
One way the preacher might approach this topic is through the insights of Transactional Analysis, the system of popular psychology based on the idea that one’s behavior and social relationships reflect an interchange between parental (critical and nurturing), adult (rational), and childlike (intuitive and dependent) aspects of personality established early in life.
Confronted with a life-problem, the emotional and volatile “child” within us tends to emote about the problem until we are rescued by someone who solves the problem for us. The critical/nurturing “parent” within, tends to establish blame for the problem and criticize us for having the problem in the first place, and then reassure us that everything will be okay just as soon as someone comes and solves the problem for us. The rational “adult” is informed by the parent and child but seeks solutions and strives to solve the problem.
Nowhere are these three “personalities” more in evidence than in the life of the church.
Whether we are dealing with a leaky roof, a disruptive toddler, an inadequate budget, an administrative policy, or a missional outreach program, any committee, taskforce, work group, or commission will find within its midst these three identities hard at work:
The “children” in the group will want to spend a great deal of time worrying about possible problems and bemoaning the fact that a problem is disrupting the otherwise tranquil and supportive life of the church.
The “parents” will want to discuss how this problem came to be and whose fault it is and why it wasn’t fixed sooner. They will want to make sure the entire, vast extent of the problem is widely known and understood, and they will want to be absolutely certain that any solution that is proposed meets every jot and tittle of church policy.
The “adults” in the group will want to focus, as Jesus did, on solving the problem as quickly and efficiently as possible. That way, the people of God can get back to its real task of spreading the good news of Jesus Christ through mission and evangelism.
This “adult” way of functioning is, of course, the most mature way and the way to which Paul would call us.
Childlike But not Childish
In Mark 10:15 we hear Jesus tell his listeners that “anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”
Unfortunately, this verse and those like it in the other gospels have often led to confusion in the church about the difference in being childlike and childish.
To be childlike is to be simple and trusting, loving and teachable. To be childish is to be self-centered, thoughtless, irresponsible, and impulsive.
In a March 14, 2016 article for Psychology Today, Dr. Susan Heitler identifies ten signs of childish adult behavior and one need not work too hard to discover the mature alternative in each case.1 Any two or three of these could easily become the foundation of a sermon:
1. Emotional escalations
Immature people cry, get mad, pout and/or throw temper tantrums. Mature people seldom do.
2. Blaming
Children tend to find someone to blame when things go wrong. Adults simply solve the problem and move on.
3. Lies
In an uncomfortable situation, young children might lie to stay out of trouble. Grownups deal with reality, reliably speaking the truth.
4. Name-calling
Children call each other names. Adults seek to understand issues. Adults do not make attacks on people’s personal traits. Instead, they attack the problem. They do not disrespect others with mean labels.
5. Poor impulse control
Children strike out impulsively when they feel hurt or mad. They speak recklessly or take impulsive action without pausing to think about the potential consequences. Adults pause, resisting the impulse to shoot out hurtful words or actions. They calm themselves. They then think through the problem, seeking more information and analyzing options. Similarly, instead of listening to others’ viewpoints, immature people impulsively interrupt them.
6. Need to be the center of attention
Ever tried to have adult dinner conversations with a two-year-old at the table? There are immature adults who, in much the same way, have to be the center of everyone’s attention. Mature adults share the spotlight and encourage others to take center stage.
7. Bullying
Children often assume that larger size or more aggressive nature gives a person privileges allowing for the exploitation of others who, out of fear, do not respond. Adults respect boundaries. Yours is yours and mine is mine.
8. Narcissism
Narcissists have trouble seeing beyond themselves and their own needs. Other people simply don’t matter to them. This is often a natural state in early childhood. However, mature people listen to others to understand others’ feelings, concerns and preferences. Narcissists who hear only themselves are emotionally brittle. It’s my way or the highway.
9. Immature defenses
Children tend to regard the best defense as a strong offense and angry denial. Taking what they want, bullying and then denying that it happened are the typical signs. Adults use defense mechanisms like listening to others’ concerns as well as to their own. They then engage in collaborative problem-solving.
10. The inability to learn from mistakes
When emotionally mature adults ‘lose their cool’ and express anger inappropriately, they soon after realize that their outburst was inappropriate. That is, they can see with hindsight that their behavior was out of line with their value system. Children tend to see their anger as normal. They justify their rages by blaming the other person.
Conclusion
Several years ago a Christian magazine (I don’t remember which one) published a cartoon that showed an adult man in a business suit sitting squeezed and squished into a child’s high chair. He is a sad eyed character, unable to move or do anything for himself and he is saying to the viewer: “I just don’t feel like I’m being fed at this church.”
The desire to constantly be fed is a childish, immature approach to the Christian faith and the church that embodies it. Mature Christians seek to feed as well as be fed, to prepare their own metaphorical spiritual meal and to share it with others, to be the “non-anxious presence in an anxious system.”2
* * * Notes * * *
1 Can You Spot 10 Signs of a Childish Adult? by Susan Heitler Ph.D., PsychologyToday.com
2 Edwin Friedman
* * * * * * *
ILLUSTRATIONS
From team member Ron Love:
Truth
In the comic strip the Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom, we have Wilberforce in his baseball uniform. He is standing in front of the easy chair in which his father Brutus, also known as the Born Loser, is sitting. Wilberforce asks his father for advice on the big game he is scheduled to play this evening. His father answers, “The best advice I ever heard was from Woodie Held of the Cleveland Indians, ‘Always swing hard -- you never know you just might hit the ball!’” I found the quote inspiring, so I decided I would like to know more about Woodie Held. In my research I learned that the actual quote was, “Don’t forget to swing hard, in case you hit the ball.” Held began his baseball career in 1954, and he played shortstop and in the outfield.
Application: Our lectionary reading discusses truth, especially the pronouncement by Nathan. As we share the truth with others we must be accurate in our presentation. It would have been easy for me to continually quote what Art and Chip Sansom wrote, thinking it was accurate.
* * *
Unity
Amy Coney Barrett was appointed by President Donald Trump as a jude for the United States Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit. She took office on November 2, 2017. Prior to that she was a professor of law at Norte Dame University. Because of her ultra-conservative interpretation of the law her appointment was in question. During the hearing Senator Dianne Feinstein, a Democratic representing California, said that Barrett’s “dogma lives loudly” in her. Barrett was one of the four finalists that Trump considered as his nomination to the United States Supreme Court, but because of Barrett’s difficult approval by the Senate to serve on the Court of Appeals, she was passed over for Brett Kavanaugh.
Application: Paul discusses the importance of unity. We cannot not have unity if our views are so extreme as to prevent compromise.
* * *
Unity
Derek Anderson is a 32-year-old rescue specialist for the United States Air Force. He is stationed in Okinawa. Anderson was one of the scuba divers that participated in the rescue of the twelve boys, along with their coach, who were stranded in the Tham Luang cave in Thailand. In an interview he explained how complicated and dangerous the rescue of the Wild Boars soccer team was. Especially challenging was putting scuba gear on children who have never used the equipment before. The entire rescue effort required the coordination of countless individuals and organizations. During the rescue there would be 100 people in the cave. Anderson said, “It’s important to realize how complex and how many pieces of this puzzle had to come together.”
Application: Paul discusses the importance of unity for the church to fulfill its mission for Christ.
* * *
Unity
On of the reasons why the twelve boys, ages 11 to 16, survived their eighteen-day captivity in the Tham Luang cave in Thailand, was because of their coach. The Wild Boars soccer team was coached by Ekapol Chanthawong, better known as “Coach Ake.” Prior to this ordeal he was a Buddhist monk for ten years, which taught him the discipline of mediation. The day-to-day wisdom imparted by the coach kept the children unified, working as a team. This team unity was enhanced because Coax Ake would take his team bike riding, river rafting, swimming in waterfalls and exploring in caves. All of these activities, coupled with the practical advice provided by a coach over the years, allowed the Wild Boars to bond with one another. John O’Sullivan, founder of the Changing the Game Project, said, “The role of sports is that sports skills become life skills.” O’Sullivan went on to report, “The best in the coaching business are often those who master the art of subtly instilling habits that can carry over to different venues in life.”
Application: As Paul discusses, it is only working as a team that the church can fulfill its mission.
* * *
Truth
Larry Fedora has been an assistant coach for seven seasons with the North Carolina Tar Heels. While attending the ACC media days, which began on July 18, Fedora dismissed the studies that concluded that football concussions cause the degenerative brain damage called CTE. He said of the studies, “it’s more about people twisting data.” Fedora did acknowledge that football can cause concussions, but not to the extent that is reported. He fears that football is “under attack” because of these reports, and the resulting regulations will create a game in ten years that is no longer recognizable.
Application: When people like Nathan and Paul speak, and certainly Jesus, we must acknowledge the truth of their words.
* * *
Judgement
In the comic strip Frank and Ernest by Bob Thaves, we have two motley characters that seem too stumble through life. And as they do so, they have the uncanny ability to impart wisdom upon us. In this episode we see Ernie slipping on a banana peel. Frank, observing this, says to a friend standing next to him, “For Ernie, learning from his mistakes is a form of continuing education.”
Application: Our lectionary readings discuss judgment. There is judgement upon us if we do not learn from our mistakes.
* * *
Truth
Arthur “Harpo” Marx was born in 1888. In the comedy team of the Marx Brothers he was the second oldest. His two brothers were Groucho and Chico. Harpo was a comedian, actor, musician and mime artist. Harpo’s comic style was visual, being an example of both clown and pantomime traditions. He wore a curly reddish blonde wig when he performed, and he never spoke during performances. Harpo was constantly asked to perform at charities. On a visit to New York, a persistent woman telephoned him no fewer than twelve times in forty-eight hours to try to get him to perform at her charity. Exasperated, Harpo finally agreed. The lady, wanting to make certain that the comedian appeared, personally went to his room to escort the actor to her event. As they were leaving the phone rang, and she inquired if he was going to answer it. Harpo responded with a weary sigh, “It’s undoubtedly you again.”
Application: In our lectionary readings, we repeatedly encounter individuals who are persistent in seeking the truth.
* * *
Discipleship
Pete Rose, without question, was one of the most outstanding baseball players that has ever stood on the field. His enthusiasm for the game gave him the nickname “Charlie Hustle.” His baseball career spanned from 1963 to 1989. Unfortunately, but rightfully so, when it was discovered that he bet on baseball games while both a player and a coach, he lost his eligibility to be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York. While playing for the Cincinnati Reds, his manager, Sparky Anderson, was awed by Rose’s abilities. Rose was so versatile that he played in five different positions in five different All-Star games. When Anderson was asked to describe the skills of Pete Rose he said, “Pete Rose is the best thing to happen to the game since, well, the game.”
Application: Paul instructs that each of us has a special skill to use for the ministry of the church.
* * *
Second Coming
The Seven-day Adventist denomination is one of the fastest growing today, especially in Latin America and Africa. This is because of the Adventist theology and teachings. The Third World nations can relate to the optimism of the immediate return of Jesus. The Adventists have 28 fundamental beliefs that are the core of their theology. Adventists are opposed to the formulation of creeds, so the 28 fundamental beliefs are considered descriptors, not prescriptors; that is, that they describe the official position of the church but are not criteria for membership. One of those fundamental beliefs is the proclamation of an imminent, universally visible second coming of Christ, which will be preceded by a “time of trouble.” The teaching that Christ will be universally visible is based on Revelation 1:7 which states that “every eye will see him.”
Application: With those who questioned Jesus, we all should live with the hope of the immediate return of Jesus.
* * *
Truth
In April 2013, as United States troops were pulling out of Afghanistan, the Taliban continued its insurgency operations. Many towns and villages could not escape their military wrath and religious domination. During this time, Army General Martin Dempsey, chairman of the joint Chiefs of Staff, said, “And if we were having this conversation ten years from now, I suspect there would still be contested areas because the history of Afghanistan suggests that there will always be contested areas.” Now, five years later, Dempsey’s prophetic words remain true.
Application: We must listen to the wisdom and truth of the prophets.
* * * * * * * * *
From team member Mary Austin:
Ephesians 4:1-16
Being an Adult
There are certain unfortunate truths to being an adult. Maturity involves things we would rather not do…and yet have to. Writer Steve Kux shares some of the things he’s learned. His truths include: “Patience is a virtue. We live in a world that breeds short attention spans and severely limits a person’s ability to be patient, but the more able you are to wait for the good things in life, the better they will be. From money to relationships to career goals, rushing towards the finish line or your next great step is a sure fire way to miss out on a lot of valuable lessons and cheapen the things to accomplish on the way. Slow down.” And also this inescapable reality: “You are responsible for yourself…all the little things you took for granted as a kid require an actual effort on your part. When a light bulb burns out, there won’t magically be a new one waiting in a kitchen drawer. You actually have to go out and buy light bulbs. The same applies for food, medicine, and soap.” He adds another caveat about maturity: Things will get monotonous. One of the easiest traps to fall into as an adult is routine. Obviously it is important and even enjoyable to know what lies around the next corner, but don’t let your life get too boring. You will have to make a conscious effort to seek out new things and to spice things up. Inertia is a hard thing to overcome, but it is worth it when you do.”
Living life with maturity calls for, well, yes, maturity.
* * *
Ephesians 4:1-16
When Are We Grown-ups?
We can vote and enter into legal contracts at 18, drink alcohol at 21, typically graduate from college sometime in our 20’s, and yet it’s hard to tell when we are actually adults. Julie Beck writes for The Atlantic that moving into adulthood is a longer transition than we usually imagine. “In fact, if you think of the transition to “adulthood” as a collection of markers -- getting a job, moving away from your parents, getting married, and having kids -- for most of history, with the exception of the 1950s and 60s, people did not become adults any kind of predictable way. And yet these are still the venerated markers of adulthood today, and when people take too long to acquire them, or eschew them all together, it becomes a reason to lament that no one is a grown-up. While bemoaning the habits and values of the youths is the eternal right of the olds, many young adults do still feel like kids trying on their parents’ shoes.” The author recalls, “In college, I had a writing professor who I think fancied himself a bit of a provocateur -- at any rate he was always trying to drop truth bombs on us. Most of them bounced right off, but there was one that cratered me. I don’t remember what precipitated this, but during one class, he just paused and pronounced, “Between the ages of 22 and 25, you will be miserable. Sorry. If you’re like most people, you will flail”.”
This transition into adulthood is a distinct life stage, as some see it. “The difficulty many 18-to-25-year-olds had in answering “Are you an adult?” led Jeffrey Jensen Arnett in the late ’90s to lump those ages into a new life stage he called “emerging adulthood.” Emerging adulthood is a vague, transitory time between adolescence and true adulthood. It’s so vague that Jensen Arnett, a research professor of psychology at Clark University, says he sometimes uses 25 as the upper boundary, and sometimes 29. While he thinks adolescence clearly ends at 18, when people typically leave high school and their parents’ homes, and are legally recognized as adults, one leaves emerging adulthood … whenever one is ready.”
Some markers of maturity include what one researcher calls “the Big Three.” These are the things people “rank as what they most need to be a grown-up: taking responsibility for yourself, making independent decisions, and becoming financially independent. These three criteria have been ranked highly not just in the U.S., but in many other countries as well, including China, Greece, Israel, India, and Argentina. But some cultures add their own values to the list. In China, for example, people highly valued being able to financially support their parents, and in India people valued the ability to keep their family physically safe.”
Adulthood and maturity sometimes arrive at different times, but we might think about what signs of maturity we seek in ourselves, and in the young people around us.
* * *
2 Samuel 11:26--12:13a
The Heartfelt Apology
There are lots of unsatisfying ways to apologize. “Mistakes were made.” “If you feel that way, I’m sorry.”
Writer Martha Beck says we can do so much better, when we are truly repentant. “When we lack the ability to say we’re sorry, minor offenses eventually accumulate enough weight to sink any relationship. But the simple act of apologizing can reestablish goodwill even when our sins are much, much graver. Of course, it must be done right. A lame, badly constructed apology can do more damage than the original offense. Fortunately, the art of effective apology is simple, and mastering it can mean a lifetime of solid, resilient relationships.” We struggle with knowing when to apologize, and Beck says the answer is simple. “Here’s what I think: The perfect moment to apologize is the moment you realize you’ve done something wrong.”
She adds some tips on how to apologize. “Apologizing is rarely comfortable or easy, so if you’re going to do it at all, make it count. Aaron Lazare, MD, a psychiatrist and dean of the University of Massachusetts Medical School, has spent years studying acts of contrition in every context, from interpersonal to international. He has found that, to be effective, most apologies need to contain the following elements:
1. Full acknowledgment of the offense. Start by describing exactly what you did wrong, without avoiding the worst truths. Once the facts are out, acknowledge that your behavior violated a moral code. It doesn’t matter whether you and the person you’ve hurt shares the same ethics: If you’ve broken your own rules, you’re in the wrong. Accept responsibility.
2. An explanation. A truthful explanation is your best shot at rebuilding a strong, peaceful relationship. The core-deep explanation for your behavior is your key to changing for the better. Explanations help you and your victim understand why you misbehaved and assure both of you that the offense won’t recur. Excuses merely deflect responsibility. Leave them out of your apology.
3. Genuine expression of remorse. Anyone who has been on the receiving end of the comment “I’m sorry you feel that way” knows the difference between sincere regret and an attempt to avoid responsibility for bad behavior. Few things are less likely to evoke forgiveness than apology without remorse.
4. Reparations for damage. An apology includes real repair work: not just saying “I’m sorry.” Often there will be nothing tangible to repair; hearts and relationships are broken more often than physical objects. In such cases, your efforts should focus on restoring the other person’s dignity. The question “What else do you want me to do?” can start this process. If you ask it sincerely, really listen to the answer and act on the other party’s suggestions, you’ll be honoring their feelings, perspective and experience. The knowledge that one is heard and valued has incredible healing power; it can mend even seemingly irreparable wounds.”
* * *
2 Samuel 11:26--12:13a
The Power of An Apology
Author and life coach Martha Beck says that a true apology, done well, changes the chemistry of the relationship between people. Beck says, “Anne Lamott refers to forgiveness as “giving up all hope of having had a different past.” The same words apply to apologizing. An apology is the end of our struggle with history, the act by which we untangle from our past by accepting what it actually was. From this truthful place we are free to move forward, whether or not we are forgiven. Apologizing doesn’t make us perfect, but it shows our commitment to be honest about our imperfections and steadfast in our efforts to do better.”
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2 Samuel 11:26--12:13a
Better Late Than Never
The other side of repentance is forgiveness from the wronged party. Even a long-delayed apology can be very powerful, says Dr. Robert Karen.
Dr. Karen recalls the famous Vietnam War photo of the terrified young girl, running naked down the road, her clothes burned off and her body in pain from napalm. “The man who ordered the raid on this child’s village in June 1972 was 24-year-old helicopter pilot and operations officer John Plummer. The day after the raid he saw the photo in the military newspaper The Stars and Stripes and was devastated. Twenty-four years later Plummer told an Associated Press reporter, “It just knocked me to my knees. And that was when I knew I could never talk about this.” The guilt over the bombing raid had become a lonely torment.” He didn’t know what to do with his anguish.
“The girl in the photo, Phan Thi Kim Phuc, survived 17 operations, eventually relocated to Toronto, and became an occasional goodwill ambassador for UNESCO. In 1996 Plummer heard that Kim would be speaking at a Veterans Day observance in Washington, D.C., not far from his home. Kim’s speech included this: “If I could talk face-to-face with the pilot who dropped the bombs, I would tell him we cannot change history, but we should try to do good things for the present....” Plummer, in the audience, wrote her a note -- “I am that man” -- and asked an officer to take it to her. At the end of the speech, he pushed through the crowd to reach her. “She just opened her arms to me,” Plummer recounted. “I fell into her arms sobbing. All I could say was, ‘I’m so sorry. I’m just so sorry.’ ”
"It’s all right,” Kim responded. “I forgive. I forgive.” Five months later, still connected by their peculiar history, the two were shown in an AP wire photo, their heads touching, almost cheek to cheek, Plummer’s arm around her, both smiling with an incongruous delight, as if he had never ordered the raid that left her body scarred and in permanent pain and as if he did not live with recurrent nightmares.”
Dr. Karen adds, “The story of the pilot and the girl moves us because the need to be forgiven lives so strongly in us, and it is rare that we see it played out in such direct and dramatic form. And yet in our everyday lives we are touched by forgiveness and haunted by its lack in a myriad of ways. Can we be forgiven our insensitivity? Our cruelties? Our betrayals? Can we be forgiven the things in us that feel so terrible we dare not speak them? How others feel about us contributes to how we define ourselves to ourselves, and often it is through other people, their tolerance, their perspective, their generosity, that we are able to forgive what has seemed unpardonable in us before.” We can, by grace, if we are willing.
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From team member Tom Willadsen:
2 Samuel 11:26--12:13a
David has done a terrible thing. He contrived to have Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah, killed in battle, so he could bring her into the palace, that is, marry her. That part of his plan worked as he wanted, but the prophet Nathan was sent by God to pronounce a judgment against David.
Imagine Nathan’s anxiety, bringing this awful news to the popular, powerful king. The text does not indicate whether the Lord provided Nathan with the parable of the rich man who takes the poor man’s lone lamb. Whether he made it up, or spoke words the Lord had provided, Nathan used a brilliant strategy. David was hooked by the injustice and greed of the rich man; he was outraged at the way this man had behaved, and even pronounced a judgment -- what should happen to this rich man!
Plot twist, David! You’re the guy! It wasn’t Uriah’s lone lamb, it was his beautiful wife, but same difference.
To David’s credit, he declares his own guilt, “I have sinned against the Lord.”
Do we have modern examples of people taking responsibility for their actions? For recognizing the error of their ways and declaring that their punishment is just. Has anyone recently said, “Yep, I had it coming; I deserve punishment.”
At a recent class about how to be an ally for people who are gender non-conforming I left with two important insights:
What I had thought was an appropriate mea culpa, was really my privilege to demand that this person whom I had just insulted forgive me. I may feel as horrible as I described, but perhaps it’s better for everyone for me to endure the discomfort of this guilt and not browbeat a marginalized person into telling me it’s all right.
David’s punishment was worse, but he had a guy killed.
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Psalm 51:1-12
It is unfortunate that today’s reading stops short of verse 17, Psalm 51’s grand finale:
In today’s reading there’s a nice balance between metaphors for sin and metaphors for forgiveness.
Rejoice is a verb, a command. It’s too easy to overlook the “re” part of “rejoice.” “Joice again!” is a good rendering into English. Its novelty to the ear gets the hearer’s attention. And it implies that you’ve already joiced at least once, so you know what it feels like.
The other part “crushed” is harder for 21st century Americans to hear, “Let the bones that you have crushed rejoice.” Are we really comfortable taking our crushed bones to the Lord? Are we really comfortable blaming the Lord for our crushed bones? That’s what the psalmist suggests.
David accepted the Lord’s judgment, and acted maturely and with contrition. How would his story unwind if he’d blamed God for the crushing sadness of the death of his son born to Bathsheba?
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Ephesians 4:1-16
This passage is filled with familiar words and concepts. “One Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all,” is frequently invoked at baptisms -- into the universal Christian church. These words of guidance and instruction have wide application. But look closely, the author does not call these “gifts of the Spirit,” though the reader may indeed make that assumption. They are the gifts of Christ!
The unity of the Spirit is essential to the peace and stability of the fellowship of believers, but the gifts themselves come from Christ.
A close reading of the text shows that this description and these instructions are intended for the internal peace, the management of the church of Christ. There is not instruction about how to spread the Good News, rather one finds a list of the tools and attitudes that are required for a stable Christian community.
The digression, parenthetical in the NRSV, in verses 9 &10, is a parallel between Christ and Moses. Moses went up the mountain, so that he might descend from the mountain, having been made radiant in God’s immediate presence -- and bring the Commandments down from on high. Jesus is here imagined as a second Moses, though he went higher (to heaven) and lower (lower parts of the earth.) This is as close as the New Testament gets to saying “He descended to hell (or ‘the dead’) in the Apostles’ Creed.
Verse 6 is rich in prepositions: above all, through all, and in all, again very familiar words. So familiar that we might miss that the hope of Christ, the peace of Christ, the love of Christ is everywhere, ubiquitous! So high you can’t get over it….
Finally, two versions of the verb “equip” appear in the final half of this reading. Think of these gifts as tools, or gear, essential for the church of Jesus Christ to maintain itself, and grow in maturity. Of course, maturity is commended, and believers are equipped with different gear, gifts from Christ, to grow together, in faith, in unity.
Imagine the equipment as being like clothes that are too large, but that we are destined to grow into.
The first baseball glove I ever had was a gift from my cigarette-smoking grandparents. Each pack of Salems included a coupon which could be saved and then redeemed for merchandise; they were like Green Stamps, with the added benefit of an increased risk of cancer and heart and lung disease. I was six years old, and the glove was too big for me. I couldn’t break it in properly. It was more glove than I was ready for. Still, it equipped me to begin learning the game of baseball. My ability grew, and my hand grew, and I was then equipped with a glove more fitting for my ability -- one that I could use for the benefit not only of myself, but of my team.
Ships get tossed about and blown in every direction, just as believers in Christ do before they are mature. There’s a steadying, stabilizing aspect to the people of the church using the gifts they’ve been equipped with for the ship to sail safely. Maturity is totally better than immaturity in this regard.
And all these varied pieces of equipment and like the varied parts of the body, each of which is essential the growth and functioning of the body.
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John 6:24-35, 53-56
You might think this is about food. Jesus had just fed a lot of people with just five loaves and a couple small fish. The people were impressed, they went looking for him. They found him in Capernaum. They are puzzled how he got there so quickly.
He tells them why they are looking for him. They’re keeping their eyes on getting their bellies filled. For some reason it does not occur to them that Jesus’ having just fed them with such a small amount of food was a sign. They knew to expect a sign, a signal for a true prophet; something to verify the prophet’s connection to the Lord.
“Manna,” they say, “manna we would believe. Moses gave us manna.”
“Well, nuh-uh,” Jesus replied, “Manna didn’t come from Moses, it came from my Father in heaven. That’s the bread that gives life.”
“Right, Jesus, that’s what we meant. Give us that bread.”
“Actually, you’d be better off doing my Father’s will. Instead of asking me for a sign.
(Which you totally missed when I fed you earlier in chapter 6! Remember those five loaves and two fish I whipped up into a feast? Didn’t think so.)” [Another passage from “The Book of Tom”)
The bread Jesus was talking about would endure. It would last longer than the manna that fed their ancestors. It would last longer than the feast he whipped up before they all got to Capernaum. It would abide in him, just as the Holy Spirit abided in him when he was baptized.
Doing God’s will will last longer, will abide longer, than any food they could eat. Jesus advised them -- and advises us -- to abide in the bread of heaven, which we consume, just as it subsumes us into the one body of Christ throughout the world.
WORSHIP
by George Reed
Call to Worship:
Leader: God desires truth in the inward being.
People: Teach us wisdom in our secret heart.
Leader: Purge me with hyssop, and we shall be clean.
People: Wash us, and we shall be whiter than snow.
Leader: Let us hear joy and gladness.
People: Even in our brokeness may we rejoice.
OR
Leader: God calls us to new life in Christ.
People: Fed by the Bread of Life we will grow in love.
Leader: God calls us to forsake our sinful ways.
People: With God’s love and help we will turn to God.
Leader: God delights in our growing in grace.
People: We will seek God’s Spirit that we may grow up.
Hymns and Songs:
From All That Dwell Below the Skies
UMH: 101
H82: 380
PH: 229
NCH: 27
CH: 49
LBW: 550
AMEC: 69
STLT: 381
Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah
UMH: 127
H82: 690
PH: 281
AAHH: 138/139/140
NNBH: 232
NCH: 18/19
CH: 622
LBW: 343
ELA: 618
W&P: 5012
AMEC: 52/53/65
All Hail the Power of Jesus’ Name
UMH: 154/155
H82: 450/451
PH: 142/143
AAHH: 292/293/294
NNBH: 3/5
NCH: 304
CH: 91/92
LBW: 328/329
ELA: 634
W&P: 100/106
AMEC: 4/5/6
Renew: 45
Tú Has Venido a la Orilla (Lord, You Have Come to the Lakeshore)
UMH: 344
PH: 377
CH: 342
W&P: 347
Dear Lord and Father of Mankind
UMH: 358
H82: 652/653
PH: 345
NCH: 502
CH: 594
LBW: 506
W&P: 407
AMEC: 344
O Come and Dwell in Me
UMH: 388
Spirit of the Living God
UMH: 393
PH: 322
AAHH: 320
NNBH: 133
NCH: 283
CH: 259
W&P: 492
Renew: 90
Take My Life, and Let It Be
UMH: 399
H82: 707
PH: 391
NNBH: 213
NCH: 448
CH: 609
LBW: 406
ELA: 583/685
W&P: 466
AMEC: 292
Renew: 150
Humble Yourself in the Sight of the Lord
CCB: 72
Renew: 188
Refiner’s Fire
CCB: 79
Music Resources Key:
UMH: United Methodist Hymnal
H82: The Hymnal 1982
PH: Presbyterian Hymnal
AAHH: African American Heritage Hymnal
NNBH: The New National Baptist Hymnal
NCH: The New Century Hymnal
CH: Chalice Hymnal
LBW: Lutheran Book of Worship
ELA: Evangelical Lutheran Worship
W&P: Worship & Praise
AMEC: African Methodist Episcopal Church Hymnal
STLT: Singing the Living Tradition
CCB: Cokesbury Chorus Book
Renew: Renew! Songs & Hymns for Blended Worship
Prayer for the Day/Collect
O God who calls creation to grow and change:
Grant us the grace to grow into maturity
willing to change and leave the past behind;
through Jesus Christ our Savior. Amen.
OR
We praise you, O God, because you created us to grow and change. Help us to leave the past behind as we become mature people. Help us to face the places where we need to change and then to begin the process of changing. Amen.
Prayer of Confession
Leader: Let us confess to God and before one another our sins and especially our unwillingness to confess our faults and grow into mature Christians.
People: We confess to you, O God, and before one another that we have sinned. We are quick to see the faults of others but slow to acknowledge our own sins and failures. We are good at finding excuses for our bad behavior but not so good and changing. Instead of growing and becoming mature we too often act like spoiled children. Forgive us and help us to use the power of your Spirit to repent and grow. Amen.
Leader: God created us for good. Trust in God’s love and direction for your life. Rejoice in God’s forgiveness and share that forgiveness with others.
Prayers of the People
We praise you, O God, for the love with which you created us. We praise you for giving us the ability to grow and mature.
(The following paragraph may be used if a separate prayer of confession has not been used.)
We confess to you, O God, and before one another that we have sinned. We are quick to see the faults of others but slow to acknowledge our own sins and failures. We are good at finding excuses for our bad behavior but not so good and changing. Instead of growing and becoming mature we too often act like spoiled children. Forgive us and help us to use the power of your Spirit to repent and grow.
We thank you for the opportunity to repent and to change the direction of our lives. We thank you that your love encourages us to grow in wisdom and maturity.
(Other thanksgivings may be offered.)
We pray for one another in our need. We pray for those who are shamed by others who refuse to forgive them. We pray for all who find it difficult to forgive themselves.
(Other intercessions may be offered.)
All these things we ask in the Name of our Savior Jesus Christ who taught us to pray together saying:
Our Father....Amen.
(Or if the Our Father is not used at this point in the service)
All this we ask in the Name of the Blessed and Holy Trinity. Amen.
Children’s Sermon Starter
Show the children pictures of babies and talk about how cute they are in their bonnets, with their pacifiers, etc. (Or use a real baby, if available!) Ask if they think they would look cute dressed like that. What about their parents? What is cute and normal for babies isn’t for older children and adults. We grow and we mature. Sometimes babies cry when they don’t have what they want. That is okay for babies. It is the only way they can communicate. But as we get older we learn how to talk and ask for things. We learn we can’t always have what we want when we want it. God invites us all to grow up and learn how to love one another.
CHILDREN’S SERMON
What Is It?
by Chris Keating
Exodus 16:2-4, 9-15
Gather ahead of time:
As the children gather, greet them and ask them if they can tell you about the last time they took a really, really boring car trip. Long road trips can be especially trying for children -- how many times can they remember saying, “Are we there yet?” or “How much longer?” or “I’m hungry!” Ask them to imagine going on a long trip to a place where they have never been. What do they imagine would be boring? What would be exciting?
Briefly share some highlights about Israel’s meanderings in the wilderness, and how they had begun complaining that the trip was taking too long. Not only that, now they are hungry and there doesn’t seem to be good choices. There were no rest stops or McDonalds, no fast food places or even stores to buy food. Every day their complaints got worse! They were not happy.
Can you imagine a time when you are hungry and not happy? What happens?
The good news, of course, is that God hears their cries. God heard their cries when they were in Egypt, and God hears their cries when they are lost. One day, the Israelites wake up, and they find that the ground is covered with a “fine, flaky substance.” “What is it?” they wondered.
What do you think it was?
Holding the bag of graham crackers, ask the children if they can guess what is inside your bag. What is it? After several guesses, pass around the graham crackers. As the children get them, tell them that God surprised Israel by providing them something they called “Bread from heaven,” or “manna.” Manna can also be a play on words for their questions, “What is it?” When they were hungry, God provided. And God always provides.
As you pass around the pieces of paper which say, “God provides,” invite the children to be God’s helpers in providing for those who need school supplies in your area. God instructed the Israelites to share the manna they had received, and God wants us to share as well. One way we can help others know that God provides is by picking up a few extra school supplies when we are doing our back to school shopping. We can share those gifts with children in the area, so that they also will know that God provides.
Close with a prayer thanking God for all the many ways God provides for us, and for the many different forms that manna can take in our lives. Help us always to be surprised, wondering, “What is it?” so that we may receive all of God’s gifts.
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The Immediate Word, August 5, 2018, issue.
Copyright 2018 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to The Immediate Word service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons and in worship and classroom settings only. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., 5450 N. Dixie Highway, Lima, Ohio 45807.
- Call to Repentance through Storytelling by Bethany Peerbolte -- As a people who are called to speak the truth in love what can we learn from the artistry of Nathan’s message. Artistry may be the lesson.
- Second Thoughts: Mature Like Jesus by Dean Feldmeyer -- To be mature in our Christian faith is to be like Jesus.
- Sermon illustrations by Ron Love, Mary Austin and Tom Willadsen.
- Worship resources by George Reed that focus on maturity and repentance.
- What Is It? Children’s sermon by Chris Keating -- While it may be hard for children to understand the story of God providing bread from heaven, they will be able to see the story as an imaginative approach to how God provides for our lives.
Call to Repentance through Storytelling
by Bethany Peerbolte
2 Samuel 11:26--12:13a
Nathan confronts the most powerful man in the kingdom about his sins. He calls David to repent for his sins, and it works! As a people who are called to speak the truth in love what can we learn from the artistry of Nathan’s message. Artistry may be the lesson. Nathan’s story allows David enough space to process the problem and accept his own involvement in the offense. We still have storytellers who are calling us to repent. Filmmakers, comedians, artists around the world use their gifts to hold up mirrors when we would rather look away. Speaking truth to power has never been an easy task but Nathan finds a way to make David see, and our storytellers may be the keys to enacting the repentance and change our world needs today.
In the Scripture
As the story of King David unfolds we come to the point where the dirty deeds are done, and the time has come to face the consequences. In light of modern norms, it would not surprise anyone if King David gets away with adultery and murder because of his power and position. Thankfully, that will not be the case with God’s man Nathan on the scene. The prophet Nathan has watched David make passionate and poor decisions. It is finally time to face David and call him to repent for his actions.
There may be countless reasons why Nathan waits till now to confront David. Nathan could have been afraid of the ramifications of his words. If David decided not to heed the message of repentance Nathan would at best be out of a job; more likely he would be killed. Nathan’s delay could be that he fell victim to the thought “kings will be kings” and turned a blind eye to David’s womanizing until now. Possibly Nathan tried to hint that David’s choices were wrong and the message was never heard nor recorded for us today. Whatever the cause for the timing we find Nathan unable to stay quiet after the murder of Uriah.
Standing in front of the most powerful man to tell him he was wrong, Nathan is indeed putting his life on the line. Nathan has to be clever to safely bring David’s attention to the issue. Nathan decides to tell a story. He roots the tale in a social norm that allowed a person to take a lamb from a neighbor’s flock if an unexpected guest arrives. The rule was meant to ensure hospitality to travelers without travelers being a burden on the poor. As such it was the poorer of the two neighbors who could enact the rule.
In Nathan’s story, however, a rich man with a large prosperous flock takes a lamb from a poor neighbor for his guest’s visit. With this story, Nathan can gage David’s moral compass and adjust, if needed, how he will point out that David’s recent actions parallel the rich man in the story. If David sides with the rich man and tries to reason away the man’s actions, Nathan will know David is farther off the path then he anticipated. Thankfully, the story’s example of misuse of power enrages David and he insists this rich man be held accountable for his wrong doing. David’s reaction allows Nathan to show that David’s choices and action surrounding the affair with Bathsheba are like what the rich man had done in the story.
Nathan says, “You are the man” and lists the abundant blessings God has given David, yet David has chosen to take the one good lamb of a poorer man. Uriah did not deserve to lose his wife or be killed yet David’s action leads to those outcomes. The consequences are now due. Just as David called for judgement on the rich man God is now calling for judgement on David.
David is mature enough to know he has done wrong and repents. Instead of trying to fight, David agrees he has sinned and looks to Nathan to help him repent. Nathan assures David there are consequences, his son by Bathsheba will die, but now that he has chosen to repent David will live.
In the News
The best method to call someone or some corporation or some government to repentance has many question marks around it. There are many methods with varying levels of success. Some methods seem obviously out of bounds. A man in New York beat his girlfriend with a Bible. In Arkansas, a woman killed her husband for looking at pornography. There are other methods with more grey area though.
New York Times Publisher AG Sulzberger recently tried the method of sitting down with his offender to talk about the problem. He had a private heart to heart meeting with President Trump to urge him not to call the news and reporters “evil.” The meeting was prompted after a recent shooting at a newspaper in Maryland. Sulzberger believes the negative rhetoric from the White House encouraged the shooter. At first it seemed the conversation moved Trump and he tweeted that the time with Sulzberger was “very good.” That impression lasted barely a day when another tweet from the President called reporters “unpatriotic.”
In Georgia, young citizens are trying to make safe spaces for their LGBT friends with night clubs and music. The government however is raiding those night clubs. A recent raid prompted young citizens to try the method of public protest in a “Rave Revolution,” an open air rave in the streets to call attention to the mistreatment.
Arkady Babchenko faked his own death in May to try and bring attention to Russia’s involvement in political assassinations. There was a lot of backlash over this attempted method of call to repentance. Some felt he had gone too far, putting his family and friend through the pain of thinking he was dead. While others agreed these extreme demonstrations would be the only thing to draw attention to the issue.
The public response to a call to repentance is a whole other level. Twitter has given everyone a platform to make calls of repentance, but it also allows everyone to comment on the validity of the call. Usually commenters only have a portion of the story onto which they are casting judgement. This week, a woman was asked by a friend to step down as a bridesmaid. When the woman tried to get a refund for her plane ticket from Jet Blue on Twitter, the internet caught fire. Complete strangers turned against the bride and chastised the airline for offering to fly the friends somewhere for free so they could make amends. Twitter users even suggested people boycott Jet Blue if she does not get a full refund. Scott Altman urges us to save boycotts for people who deserve them. Altman says “on one hand, [boycotts] have been important tools for expressing moral outrage and for seeking justice, as they were, for example, in the Montgomery bus boycott. On the other hand, these tools can be used oppressively, like they were in the case of Hollywood blacklists of alleged Communists.” The appropriate call to repentance method is a case by case judgement.
Nathan’s example does point us towards a method that is still very effective today -- storytelling. Leslie Jones, a cast member of Saturday Night Live, recently went on The View to talk about her call to be a comedian. In the interview, Jones expresses the belief that society needs to keep listening to comedians. She believes comedians are the ones who make us laugh through the stressful times while also making us think.
Comedians may just be our modern-day prophets. In her comedy special on Netflix, called Nanette, Hannah Gadsby effortlessly slides from comedy to social commentary. Gadsby grew up in a conservative part of Australia where homosexuality was illegal until 1997. Her childhood was filled with self-hatred and turmoil as she became more aware of her own sexual identity. Abuse, assault, and rejection painted her experience and her only way to cope was to defuse the tension with jokes. Gadsby admits when she wrote the set she assumed she would perform it once and be booed off every stage. Instead she has rocketed into the spotlight. Her success shows society’s readiness to hear these fringe stories and our willingness to do better. Much like the prophet Nathan, Gadsby calls the audience to repentance by weaving a compelling and hilarious story. When the audience is certain she has no malicious intent, she reveals the painful truth behind her jokes and offers a chance to be better.
Gadsby is not the first comedian to infuse laughter with hard truths. Late night hosts often comment on headlines with humor and a razor-focused lens. This week John Oliver’s show, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, looked at work place sexual harassment. In the episode he shows how the #MeToo movement has brought sexual harassment into the social consciousness. With the Oscars being themed around the movement, a record number of women running for office, and major companies having to pay large settlements, we seem to be enacting change. Unfortunately, Oliver points out these trends also describe the 90’s. He interviews Anita Hill, a woman who testified before congress for eight hours 27 years ago about the harassment she suffered. The news that we are repeating history is grim and leaves the viewer wondering how we make change stick.
Other modern day storytellers include our television and movie makers. Their influence on public opinion is immense. Nigeria has a booming film industry, often touted as a new Bollywood. Unfortunately, recent films have perpetuated a social evil that accuses children of being witches. The article “Branded and Beaten” by Marc Ellison illustrates the terrible reality children are living and how the film industry is perpetuating fears. Film is powerful and can be used as a method to call society into repentance and action too. In Papua New Guinea Tuberculosis is still rampant and there is social stigma around the disease. Filmmakers are trying to change that with a documentary. Series and books like The Hand Maid’s Tale, Hunger Games, Westworld, 1985, and so many more warn society of a possible path. These artists seek to turn the collective towards something better.
In the Sermon
Speaking the truth in love is a hard task. A task preachers wrestle with every week as sermons are inspired and crafted. A preacher’s method is generally the same. Read, observe, pray, write, re-write, re-write...step into a pulpit and preach the truth in love. The world is struggling to find its method, and in truth one method will not be enough. This week Nathan tells a story to deflect attention and wrath until David is ready to hear the truth. Truth that his relationship with Bathsheba is sinful and his son by her will die. Later though, Nathan will team up with Bathsheba to make sure Solomon takes the throne. Ones method for change also needs to be open to changing as well.
The sermon this week can challenge congregations to analyze their methods of enacting change. When they feel called to speak truth they should ask “what would Nathan do?” WWND.
If we cannot beat people with the Bible, WWND. If we cannot overreact and shoot people who wrong us, WWND. If we cannot boycott every organization and company that does not share our moral code, WWND. When Rave Revolutions, hash tags, marches, and movements fall short, WWND. When we have private meetings with our offender and testify for eight hours in front of congress and they still fall back into bad choices, WWND.
Perhaps Nathan would get a comedy special on Netflix or a late-night show. Make us find our common humanity through laughter and point out our weaknesses through satire. Maybe Nathan would pick up a camera and make a documentary about societies wrong doing. Giving the audience enough distance from the problem to really hear and digest. Possibly Nathan would film a fictional series that roots it’s dilemma close enough to home that the audience sees the unthinkable before it manifests. Nathan may take up painting or sculpting and show us a world we never could imagine. Challenging us to do better now so we can collectively reach his utopian imagery.
Nathan may simply do as Anita Hill suggests and sit with the victims. Asking how they are doing and making them feel heard.
SECOND THOUGHTS
Mature Like Jesus
by Dean Feldmeyer
Ephesians 4:1-16
Apparently, spiritual maturity, or the lack thereof, was an ongoing concern in the early Christian churches. Paul seems to never tire of talking about it:
In his first letter to the church in Corinth, he says, “We do, however, speak a message of wisdom among the mature, but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing.” (2:6)
He calls on the Philippians to agree with him and each other as, “All of us, then, who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you.” (3:15)
He reminds the Colossians that his goal, in teaching them, is “so that we may present everyone fully mature in Christ.” (1:28). And he reminds them that Epaphras is praying for them so that they “may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured.” (4:12)
So, it comes as no surprise to us that in his letter to the church in Ephesus he admonishes this new and diverse body of Christian believers to work to become mature in their lives together as well as their Christian faith.
But what does it mean to be “mature” in the faith.
For Paul, it means, quite simply, to be like Jesus.
Being like Jesus is the goal and the desire of every Christian and the closer we come to that goal the more mature we are in our Christian faith, not to mention our personal, daily lives and relationships.
Child, Parent, Adult
One way the preacher might approach this topic is through the insights of Transactional Analysis, the system of popular psychology based on the idea that one’s behavior and social relationships reflect an interchange between parental (critical and nurturing), adult (rational), and childlike (intuitive and dependent) aspects of personality established early in life.
Confronted with a life-problem, the emotional and volatile “child” within us tends to emote about the problem until we are rescued by someone who solves the problem for us. The critical/nurturing “parent” within, tends to establish blame for the problem and criticize us for having the problem in the first place, and then reassure us that everything will be okay just as soon as someone comes and solves the problem for us. The rational “adult” is informed by the parent and child but seeks solutions and strives to solve the problem.
Nowhere are these three “personalities” more in evidence than in the life of the church.
Whether we are dealing with a leaky roof, a disruptive toddler, an inadequate budget, an administrative policy, or a missional outreach program, any committee, taskforce, work group, or commission will find within its midst these three identities hard at work:
The “children” in the group will want to spend a great deal of time worrying about possible problems and bemoaning the fact that a problem is disrupting the otherwise tranquil and supportive life of the church.
The “parents” will want to discuss how this problem came to be and whose fault it is and why it wasn’t fixed sooner. They will want to make sure the entire, vast extent of the problem is widely known and understood, and they will want to be absolutely certain that any solution that is proposed meets every jot and tittle of church policy.
The “adults” in the group will want to focus, as Jesus did, on solving the problem as quickly and efficiently as possible. That way, the people of God can get back to its real task of spreading the good news of Jesus Christ through mission and evangelism.
This “adult” way of functioning is, of course, the most mature way and the way to which Paul would call us.
Childlike But not Childish
In Mark 10:15 we hear Jesus tell his listeners that “anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”
Unfortunately, this verse and those like it in the other gospels have often led to confusion in the church about the difference in being childlike and childish.
To be childlike is to be simple and trusting, loving and teachable. To be childish is to be self-centered, thoughtless, irresponsible, and impulsive.
In a March 14, 2016 article for Psychology Today, Dr. Susan Heitler identifies ten signs of childish adult behavior and one need not work too hard to discover the mature alternative in each case.1 Any two or three of these could easily become the foundation of a sermon:
1. Emotional escalations
Immature people cry, get mad, pout and/or throw temper tantrums. Mature people seldom do.
2. Blaming
Children tend to find someone to blame when things go wrong. Adults simply solve the problem and move on.
3. Lies
In an uncomfortable situation, young children might lie to stay out of trouble. Grownups deal with reality, reliably speaking the truth.
4. Name-calling
Children call each other names. Adults seek to understand issues. Adults do not make attacks on people’s personal traits. Instead, they attack the problem. They do not disrespect others with mean labels.
5. Poor impulse control
Children strike out impulsively when they feel hurt or mad. They speak recklessly or take impulsive action without pausing to think about the potential consequences. Adults pause, resisting the impulse to shoot out hurtful words or actions. They calm themselves. They then think through the problem, seeking more information and analyzing options. Similarly, instead of listening to others’ viewpoints, immature people impulsively interrupt them.
6. Need to be the center of attention
Ever tried to have adult dinner conversations with a two-year-old at the table? There are immature adults who, in much the same way, have to be the center of everyone’s attention. Mature adults share the spotlight and encourage others to take center stage.
7. Bullying
Children often assume that larger size or more aggressive nature gives a person privileges allowing for the exploitation of others who, out of fear, do not respond. Adults respect boundaries. Yours is yours and mine is mine.
8. Narcissism
Narcissists have trouble seeing beyond themselves and their own needs. Other people simply don’t matter to them. This is often a natural state in early childhood. However, mature people listen to others to understand others’ feelings, concerns and preferences. Narcissists who hear only themselves are emotionally brittle. It’s my way or the highway.
9. Immature defenses
Children tend to regard the best defense as a strong offense and angry denial. Taking what they want, bullying and then denying that it happened are the typical signs. Adults use defense mechanisms like listening to others’ concerns as well as to their own. They then engage in collaborative problem-solving.
10. The inability to learn from mistakes
When emotionally mature adults ‘lose their cool’ and express anger inappropriately, they soon after realize that their outburst was inappropriate. That is, they can see with hindsight that their behavior was out of line with their value system. Children tend to see their anger as normal. They justify their rages by blaming the other person.
Conclusion
Several years ago a Christian magazine (I don’t remember which one) published a cartoon that showed an adult man in a business suit sitting squeezed and squished into a child’s high chair. He is a sad eyed character, unable to move or do anything for himself and he is saying to the viewer: “I just don’t feel like I’m being fed at this church.”
The desire to constantly be fed is a childish, immature approach to the Christian faith and the church that embodies it. Mature Christians seek to feed as well as be fed, to prepare their own metaphorical spiritual meal and to share it with others, to be the “non-anxious presence in an anxious system.”2
* * * Notes * * *
1 Can You Spot 10 Signs of a Childish Adult? by Susan Heitler Ph.D., PsychologyToday.com
2 Edwin Friedman
* * * * * * *
ILLUSTRATIONS
From team member Ron Love:
Truth
In the comic strip the Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom, we have Wilberforce in his baseball uniform. He is standing in front of the easy chair in which his father Brutus, also known as the Born Loser, is sitting. Wilberforce asks his father for advice on the big game he is scheduled to play this evening. His father answers, “The best advice I ever heard was from Woodie Held of the Cleveland Indians, ‘Always swing hard -- you never know you just might hit the ball!’” I found the quote inspiring, so I decided I would like to know more about Woodie Held. In my research I learned that the actual quote was, “Don’t forget to swing hard, in case you hit the ball.” Held began his baseball career in 1954, and he played shortstop and in the outfield.
Application: Our lectionary reading discusses truth, especially the pronouncement by Nathan. As we share the truth with others we must be accurate in our presentation. It would have been easy for me to continually quote what Art and Chip Sansom wrote, thinking it was accurate.
* * *
Unity
Amy Coney Barrett was appointed by President Donald Trump as a jude for the United States Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit. She took office on November 2, 2017. Prior to that she was a professor of law at Norte Dame University. Because of her ultra-conservative interpretation of the law her appointment was in question. During the hearing Senator Dianne Feinstein, a Democratic representing California, said that Barrett’s “dogma lives loudly” in her. Barrett was one of the four finalists that Trump considered as his nomination to the United States Supreme Court, but because of Barrett’s difficult approval by the Senate to serve on the Court of Appeals, she was passed over for Brett Kavanaugh.
Application: Paul discusses the importance of unity. We cannot not have unity if our views are so extreme as to prevent compromise.
* * *
Unity
Derek Anderson is a 32-year-old rescue specialist for the United States Air Force. He is stationed in Okinawa. Anderson was one of the scuba divers that participated in the rescue of the twelve boys, along with their coach, who were stranded in the Tham Luang cave in Thailand. In an interview he explained how complicated and dangerous the rescue of the Wild Boars soccer team was. Especially challenging was putting scuba gear on children who have never used the equipment before. The entire rescue effort required the coordination of countless individuals and organizations. During the rescue there would be 100 people in the cave. Anderson said, “It’s important to realize how complex and how many pieces of this puzzle had to come together.”
Application: Paul discusses the importance of unity for the church to fulfill its mission for Christ.
* * *
Unity
On of the reasons why the twelve boys, ages 11 to 16, survived their eighteen-day captivity in the Tham Luang cave in Thailand, was because of their coach. The Wild Boars soccer team was coached by Ekapol Chanthawong, better known as “Coach Ake.” Prior to this ordeal he was a Buddhist monk for ten years, which taught him the discipline of mediation. The day-to-day wisdom imparted by the coach kept the children unified, working as a team. This team unity was enhanced because Coax Ake would take his team bike riding, river rafting, swimming in waterfalls and exploring in caves. All of these activities, coupled with the practical advice provided by a coach over the years, allowed the Wild Boars to bond with one another. John O’Sullivan, founder of the Changing the Game Project, said, “The role of sports is that sports skills become life skills.” O’Sullivan went on to report, “The best in the coaching business are often those who master the art of subtly instilling habits that can carry over to different venues in life.”
Application: As Paul discusses, it is only working as a team that the church can fulfill its mission.
* * *
Truth
Larry Fedora has been an assistant coach for seven seasons with the North Carolina Tar Heels. While attending the ACC media days, which began on July 18, Fedora dismissed the studies that concluded that football concussions cause the degenerative brain damage called CTE. He said of the studies, “it’s more about people twisting data.” Fedora did acknowledge that football can cause concussions, but not to the extent that is reported. He fears that football is “under attack” because of these reports, and the resulting regulations will create a game in ten years that is no longer recognizable.
Application: When people like Nathan and Paul speak, and certainly Jesus, we must acknowledge the truth of their words.
* * *
Judgement
In the comic strip Frank and Ernest by Bob Thaves, we have two motley characters that seem too stumble through life. And as they do so, they have the uncanny ability to impart wisdom upon us. In this episode we see Ernie slipping on a banana peel. Frank, observing this, says to a friend standing next to him, “For Ernie, learning from his mistakes is a form of continuing education.”
Application: Our lectionary readings discuss judgment. There is judgement upon us if we do not learn from our mistakes.
* * *
Truth
Arthur “Harpo” Marx was born in 1888. In the comedy team of the Marx Brothers he was the second oldest. His two brothers were Groucho and Chico. Harpo was a comedian, actor, musician and mime artist. Harpo’s comic style was visual, being an example of both clown and pantomime traditions. He wore a curly reddish blonde wig when he performed, and he never spoke during performances. Harpo was constantly asked to perform at charities. On a visit to New York, a persistent woman telephoned him no fewer than twelve times in forty-eight hours to try to get him to perform at her charity. Exasperated, Harpo finally agreed. The lady, wanting to make certain that the comedian appeared, personally went to his room to escort the actor to her event. As they were leaving the phone rang, and she inquired if he was going to answer it. Harpo responded with a weary sigh, “It’s undoubtedly you again.”
Application: In our lectionary readings, we repeatedly encounter individuals who are persistent in seeking the truth.
* * *
Discipleship
Pete Rose, without question, was one of the most outstanding baseball players that has ever stood on the field. His enthusiasm for the game gave him the nickname “Charlie Hustle.” His baseball career spanned from 1963 to 1989. Unfortunately, but rightfully so, when it was discovered that he bet on baseball games while both a player and a coach, he lost his eligibility to be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York. While playing for the Cincinnati Reds, his manager, Sparky Anderson, was awed by Rose’s abilities. Rose was so versatile that he played in five different positions in five different All-Star games. When Anderson was asked to describe the skills of Pete Rose he said, “Pete Rose is the best thing to happen to the game since, well, the game.”
Application: Paul instructs that each of us has a special skill to use for the ministry of the church.
* * *
Second Coming
The Seven-day Adventist denomination is one of the fastest growing today, especially in Latin America and Africa. This is because of the Adventist theology and teachings. The Third World nations can relate to the optimism of the immediate return of Jesus. The Adventists have 28 fundamental beliefs that are the core of their theology. Adventists are opposed to the formulation of creeds, so the 28 fundamental beliefs are considered descriptors, not prescriptors; that is, that they describe the official position of the church but are not criteria for membership. One of those fundamental beliefs is the proclamation of an imminent, universally visible second coming of Christ, which will be preceded by a “time of trouble.” The teaching that Christ will be universally visible is based on Revelation 1:7 which states that “every eye will see him.”
Application: With those who questioned Jesus, we all should live with the hope of the immediate return of Jesus.
* * *
Truth
In April 2013, as United States troops were pulling out of Afghanistan, the Taliban continued its insurgency operations. Many towns and villages could not escape their military wrath and religious domination. During this time, Army General Martin Dempsey, chairman of the joint Chiefs of Staff, said, “And if we were having this conversation ten years from now, I suspect there would still be contested areas because the history of Afghanistan suggests that there will always be contested areas.” Now, five years later, Dempsey’s prophetic words remain true.
Application: We must listen to the wisdom and truth of the prophets.
* * * * * * * * *
From team member Mary Austin:
Ephesians 4:1-16
Being an Adult
There are certain unfortunate truths to being an adult. Maturity involves things we would rather not do…and yet have to. Writer Steve Kux shares some of the things he’s learned. His truths include: “Patience is a virtue. We live in a world that breeds short attention spans and severely limits a person’s ability to be patient, but the more able you are to wait for the good things in life, the better they will be. From money to relationships to career goals, rushing towards the finish line or your next great step is a sure fire way to miss out on a lot of valuable lessons and cheapen the things to accomplish on the way. Slow down.” And also this inescapable reality: “You are responsible for yourself…all the little things you took for granted as a kid require an actual effort on your part. When a light bulb burns out, there won’t magically be a new one waiting in a kitchen drawer. You actually have to go out and buy light bulbs. The same applies for food, medicine, and soap.” He adds another caveat about maturity: Things will get monotonous. One of the easiest traps to fall into as an adult is routine. Obviously it is important and even enjoyable to know what lies around the next corner, but don’t let your life get too boring. You will have to make a conscious effort to seek out new things and to spice things up. Inertia is a hard thing to overcome, but it is worth it when you do.”
Living life with maturity calls for, well, yes, maturity.
* * *
Ephesians 4:1-16
When Are We Grown-ups?
We can vote and enter into legal contracts at 18, drink alcohol at 21, typically graduate from college sometime in our 20’s, and yet it’s hard to tell when we are actually adults. Julie Beck writes for The Atlantic that moving into adulthood is a longer transition than we usually imagine. “In fact, if you think of the transition to “adulthood” as a collection of markers -- getting a job, moving away from your parents, getting married, and having kids -- for most of history, with the exception of the 1950s and 60s, people did not become adults any kind of predictable way. And yet these are still the venerated markers of adulthood today, and when people take too long to acquire them, or eschew them all together, it becomes a reason to lament that no one is a grown-up. While bemoaning the habits and values of the youths is the eternal right of the olds, many young adults do still feel like kids trying on their parents’ shoes.” The author recalls, “In college, I had a writing professor who I think fancied himself a bit of a provocateur -- at any rate he was always trying to drop truth bombs on us. Most of them bounced right off, but there was one that cratered me. I don’t remember what precipitated this, but during one class, he just paused and pronounced, “Between the ages of 22 and 25, you will be miserable. Sorry. If you’re like most people, you will flail”.”
This transition into adulthood is a distinct life stage, as some see it. “The difficulty many 18-to-25-year-olds had in answering “Are you an adult?” led Jeffrey Jensen Arnett in the late ’90s to lump those ages into a new life stage he called “emerging adulthood.” Emerging adulthood is a vague, transitory time between adolescence and true adulthood. It’s so vague that Jensen Arnett, a research professor of psychology at Clark University, says he sometimes uses 25 as the upper boundary, and sometimes 29. While he thinks adolescence clearly ends at 18, when people typically leave high school and their parents’ homes, and are legally recognized as adults, one leaves emerging adulthood … whenever one is ready.”
Some markers of maturity include what one researcher calls “the Big Three.” These are the things people “rank as what they most need to be a grown-up: taking responsibility for yourself, making independent decisions, and becoming financially independent. These three criteria have been ranked highly not just in the U.S., but in many other countries as well, including China, Greece, Israel, India, and Argentina. But some cultures add their own values to the list. In China, for example, people highly valued being able to financially support their parents, and in India people valued the ability to keep their family physically safe.”
Adulthood and maturity sometimes arrive at different times, but we might think about what signs of maturity we seek in ourselves, and in the young people around us.
* * *
2 Samuel 11:26--12:13a
The Heartfelt Apology
There are lots of unsatisfying ways to apologize. “Mistakes were made.” “If you feel that way, I’m sorry.”
Writer Martha Beck says we can do so much better, when we are truly repentant. “When we lack the ability to say we’re sorry, minor offenses eventually accumulate enough weight to sink any relationship. But the simple act of apologizing can reestablish goodwill even when our sins are much, much graver. Of course, it must be done right. A lame, badly constructed apology can do more damage than the original offense. Fortunately, the art of effective apology is simple, and mastering it can mean a lifetime of solid, resilient relationships.” We struggle with knowing when to apologize, and Beck says the answer is simple. “Here’s what I think: The perfect moment to apologize is the moment you realize you’ve done something wrong.”
She adds some tips on how to apologize. “Apologizing is rarely comfortable or easy, so if you’re going to do it at all, make it count. Aaron Lazare, MD, a psychiatrist and dean of the University of Massachusetts Medical School, has spent years studying acts of contrition in every context, from interpersonal to international. He has found that, to be effective, most apologies need to contain the following elements:
1. Full acknowledgment of the offense. Start by describing exactly what you did wrong, without avoiding the worst truths. Once the facts are out, acknowledge that your behavior violated a moral code. It doesn’t matter whether you and the person you’ve hurt shares the same ethics: If you’ve broken your own rules, you’re in the wrong. Accept responsibility.
2. An explanation. A truthful explanation is your best shot at rebuilding a strong, peaceful relationship. The core-deep explanation for your behavior is your key to changing for the better. Explanations help you and your victim understand why you misbehaved and assure both of you that the offense won’t recur. Excuses merely deflect responsibility. Leave them out of your apology.
3. Genuine expression of remorse. Anyone who has been on the receiving end of the comment “I’m sorry you feel that way” knows the difference between sincere regret and an attempt to avoid responsibility for bad behavior. Few things are less likely to evoke forgiveness than apology without remorse.
4. Reparations for damage. An apology includes real repair work: not just saying “I’m sorry.” Often there will be nothing tangible to repair; hearts and relationships are broken more often than physical objects. In such cases, your efforts should focus on restoring the other person’s dignity. The question “What else do you want me to do?” can start this process. If you ask it sincerely, really listen to the answer and act on the other party’s suggestions, you’ll be honoring their feelings, perspective and experience. The knowledge that one is heard and valued has incredible healing power; it can mend even seemingly irreparable wounds.”
* * *
2 Samuel 11:26--12:13a
The Power of An Apology
Author and life coach Martha Beck says that a true apology, done well, changes the chemistry of the relationship between people. Beck says, “Anne Lamott refers to forgiveness as “giving up all hope of having had a different past.” The same words apply to apologizing. An apology is the end of our struggle with history, the act by which we untangle from our past by accepting what it actually was. From this truthful place we are free to move forward, whether or not we are forgiven. Apologizing doesn’t make us perfect, but it shows our commitment to be honest about our imperfections and steadfast in our efforts to do better.”
* * *
2 Samuel 11:26--12:13a
Better Late Than Never
The other side of repentance is forgiveness from the wronged party. Even a long-delayed apology can be very powerful, says Dr. Robert Karen.
Dr. Karen recalls the famous Vietnam War photo of the terrified young girl, running naked down the road, her clothes burned off and her body in pain from napalm. “The man who ordered the raid on this child’s village in June 1972 was 24-year-old helicopter pilot and operations officer John Plummer. The day after the raid he saw the photo in the military newspaper The Stars and Stripes and was devastated. Twenty-four years later Plummer told an Associated Press reporter, “It just knocked me to my knees. And that was when I knew I could never talk about this.” The guilt over the bombing raid had become a lonely torment.” He didn’t know what to do with his anguish.
“The girl in the photo, Phan Thi Kim Phuc, survived 17 operations, eventually relocated to Toronto, and became an occasional goodwill ambassador for UNESCO. In 1996 Plummer heard that Kim would be speaking at a Veterans Day observance in Washington, D.C., not far from his home. Kim’s speech included this: “If I could talk face-to-face with the pilot who dropped the bombs, I would tell him we cannot change history, but we should try to do good things for the present....” Plummer, in the audience, wrote her a note -- “I am that man” -- and asked an officer to take it to her. At the end of the speech, he pushed through the crowd to reach her. “She just opened her arms to me,” Plummer recounted. “I fell into her arms sobbing. All I could say was, ‘I’m so sorry. I’m just so sorry.’ ”
"It’s all right,” Kim responded. “I forgive. I forgive.” Five months later, still connected by their peculiar history, the two were shown in an AP wire photo, their heads touching, almost cheek to cheek, Plummer’s arm around her, both smiling with an incongruous delight, as if he had never ordered the raid that left her body scarred and in permanent pain and as if he did not live with recurrent nightmares.”
Dr. Karen adds, “The story of the pilot and the girl moves us because the need to be forgiven lives so strongly in us, and it is rare that we see it played out in such direct and dramatic form. And yet in our everyday lives we are touched by forgiveness and haunted by its lack in a myriad of ways. Can we be forgiven our insensitivity? Our cruelties? Our betrayals? Can we be forgiven the things in us that feel so terrible we dare not speak them? How others feel about us contributes to how we define ourselves to ourselves, and often it is through other people, their tolerance, their perspective, their generosity, that we are able to forgive what has seemed unpardonable in us before.” We can, by grace, if we are willing.
* * * * * * * * *
From team member Tom Willadsen:
2 Samuel 11:26--12:13a
David has done a terrible thing. He contrived to have Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah, killed in battle, so he could bring her into the palace, that is, marry her. That part of his plan worked as he wanted, but the prophet Nathan was sent by God to pronounce a judgment against David.
Imagine Nathan’s anxiety, bringing this awful news to the popular, powerful king. The text does not indicate whether the Lord provided Nathan with the parable of the rich man who takes the poor man’s lone lamb. Whether he made it up, or spoke words the Lord had provided, Nathan used a brilliant strategy. David was hooked by the injustice and greed of the rich man; he was outraged at the way this man had behaved, and even pronounced a judgment -- what should happen to this rich man!
Plot twist, David! You’re the guy! It wasn’t Uriah’s lone lamb, it was his beautiful wife, but same difference.
To David’s credit, he declares his own guilt, “I have sinned against the Lord.”
Do we have modern examples of people taking responsibility for their actions? For recognizing the error of their ways and declaring that their punishment is just. Has anyone recently said, “Yep, I had it coming; I deserve punishment.”
At a recent class about how to be an ally for people who are gender non-conforming I left with two important insights:
- Listen to understand, not to win; and
- When you make a mistake, apologize and move on.
What I had thought was an appropriate mea culpa, was really my privilege to demand that this person whom I had just insulted forgive me. I may feel as horrible as I described, but perhaps it’s better for everyone for me to endure the discomfort of this guilt and not browbeat a marginalized person into telling me it’s all right.
David’s punishment was worse, but he had a guy killed.
* * *
Psalm 51:1-12
It is unfortunate that today’s reading stops short of verse 17, Psalm 51’s grand finale:
The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit,(The psalm’s final two verses are obviously tacked on, from another source.) Of all the Lenten disciplines I have observed, reading Psalm 51:1-17 once a day has been the most impactful. A broken spirit, a broken heart, yes, yes, these are what I must offer to the Lord! Take them, take them every day!
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
In today’s reading there’s a nice balance between metaphors for sin and metaphors for forgiveness.
Mercy......IniquityTake a deeper look at this last polarity: rejoice, crushed.
Wash/cleanse......Transgressions
Justified......Sins
Blameless......Guilty
Purge/clean......Done evil
Blot out
Rejoice......Crushed
Rejoice is a verb, a command. It’s too easy to overlook the “re” part of “rejoice.” “Joice again!” is a good rendering into English. Its novelty to the ear gets the hearer’s attention. And it implies that you’ve already joiced at least once, so you know what it feels like.
The other part “crushed” is harder for 21st century Americans to hear, “Let the bones that you have crushed rejoice.” Are we really comfortable taking our crushed bones to the Lord? Are we really comfortable blaming the Lord for our crushed bones? That’s what the psalmist suggests.
David accepted the Lord’s judgment, and acted maturely and with contrition. How would his story unwind if he’d blamed God for the crushing sadness of the death of his son born to Bathsheba?
* * *
Ephesians 4:1-16
This passage is filled with familiar words and concepts. “One Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all,” is frequently invoked at baptisms -- into the universal Christian church. These words of guidance and instruction have wide application. But look closely, the author does not call these “gifts of the Spirit,” though the reader may indeed make that assumption. They are the gifts of Christ!
The unity of the Spirit is essential to the peace and stability of the fellowship of believers, but the gifts themselves come from Christ.
A close reading of the text shows that this description and these instructions are intended for the internal peace, the management of the church of Christ. There is not instruction about how to spread the Good News, rather one finds a list of the tools and attitudes that are required for a stable Christian community.
The digression, parenthetical in the NRSV, in verses 9 &10, is a parallel between Christ and Moses. Moses went up the mountain, so that he might descend from the mountain, having been made radiant in God’s immediate presence -- and bring the Commandments down from on high. Jesus is here imagined as a second Moses, though he went higher (to heaven) and lower (lower parts of the earth.) This is as close as the New Testament gets to saying “He descended to hell (or ‘the dead’) in the Apostles’ Creed.
Verse 6 is rich in prepositions: above all, through all, and in all, again very familiar words. So familiar that we might miss that the hope of Christ, the peace of Christ, the love of Christ is everywhere, ubiquitous! So high you can’t get over it….
Finally, two versions of the verb “equip” appear in the final half of this reading. Think of these gifts as tools, or gear, essential for the church of Jesus Christ to maintain itself, and grow in maturity. Of course, maturity is commended, and believers are equipped with different gear, gifts from Christ, to grow together, in faith, in unity.
Imagine the equipment as being like clothes that are too large, but that we are destined to grow into.
The first baseball glove I ever had was a gift from my cigarette-smoking grandparents. Each pack of Salems included a coupon which could be saved and then redeemed for merchandise; they were like Green Stamps, with the added benefit of an increased risk of cancer and heart and lung disease. I was six years old, and the glove was too big for me. I couldn’t break it in properly. It was more glove than I was ready for. Still, it equipped me to begin learning the game of baseball. My ability grew, and my hand grew, and I was then equipped with a glove more fitting for my ability -- one that I could use for the benefit not only of myself, but of my team.
Ships get tossed about and blown in every direction, just as believers in Christ do before they are mature. There’s a steadying, stabilizing aspect to the people of the church using the gifts they’ve been equipped with for the ship to sail safely. Maturity is totally better than immaturity in this regard.
And all these varied pieces of equipment and like the varied parts of the body, each of which is essential the growth and functioning of the body.
* * *
John 6:24-35, 53-56
You might think this is about food. Jesus had just fed a lot of people with just five loaves and a couple small fish. The people were impressed, they went looking for him. They found him in Capernaum. They are puzzled how he got there so quickly.
He tells them why they are looking for him. They’re keeping their eyes on getting their bellies filled. For some reason it does not occur to them that Jesus’ having just fed them with such a small amount of food was a sign. They knew to expect a sign, a signal for a true prophet; something to verify the prophet’s connection to the Lord.
“Manna,” they say, “manna we would believe. Moses gave us manna.”
“Well, nuh-uh,” Jesus replied, “Manna didn’t come from Moses, it came from my Father in heaven. That’s the bread that gives life.”
“Right, Jesus, that’s what we meant. Give us that bread.”
“Actually, you’d be better off doing my Father’s will. Instead of asking me for a sign.
(Which you totally missed when I fed you earlier in chapter 6! Remember those five loaves and two fish I whipped up into a feast? Didn’t think so.)” [Another passage from “The Book of Tom”)
The bread Jesus was talking about would endure. It would last longer than the manna that fed their ancestors. It would last longer than the feast he whipped up before they all got to Capernaum. It would abide in him, just as the Holy Spirit abided in him when he was baptized.
Doing God’s will will last longer, will abide longer, than any food they could eat. Jesus advised them -- and advises us -- to abide in the bread of heaven, which we consume, just as it subsumes us into the one body of Christ throughout the world.
WORSHIP
by George Reed
Call to Worship:
Leader: God desires truth in the inward being.
People: Teach us wisdom in our secret heart.
Leader: Purge me with hyssop, and we shall be clean.
People: Wash us, and we shall be whiter than snow.
Leader: Let us hear joy and gladness.
People: Even in our brokeness may we rejoice.
OR
Leader: God calls us to new life in Christ.
People: Fed by the Bread of Life we will grow in love.
Leader: God calls us to forsake our sinful ways.
People: With God’s love and help we will turn to God.
Leader: God delights in our growing in grace.
People: We will seek God’s Spirit that we may grow up.
Hymns and Songs:
From All That Dwell Below the Skies
UMH: 101
H82: 380
PH: 229
NCH: 27
CH: 49
LBW: 550
AMEC: 69
STLT: 381
Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah
UMH: 127
H82: 690
PH: 281
AAHH: 138/139/140
NNBH: 232
NCH: 18/19
CH: 622
LBW: 343
ELA: 618
W&P: 5012
AMEC: 52/53/65
All Hail the Power of Jesus’ Name
UMH: 154/155
H82: 450/451
PH: 142/143
AAHH: 292/293/294
NNBH: 3/5
NCH: 304
CH: 91/92
LBW: 328/329
ELA: 634
W&P: 100/106
AMEC: 4/5/6
Renew: 45
Tú Has Venido a la Orilla (Lord, You Have Come to the Lakeshore)
UMH: 344
PH: 377
CH: 342
W&P: 347
Dear Lord and Father of Mankind
UMH: 358
H82: 652/653
PH: 345
NCH: 502
CH: 594
LBW: 506
W&P: 407
AMEC: 344
O Come and Dwell in Me
UMH: 388
Spirit of the Living God
UMH: 393
PH: 322
AAHH: 320
NNBH: 133
NCH: 283
CH: 259
W&P: 492
Renew: 90
Take My Life, and Let It Be
UMH: 399
H82: 707
PH: 391
NNBH: 213
NCH: 448
CH: 609
LBW: 406
ELA: 583/685
W&P: 466
AMEC: 292
Renew: 150
Humble Yourself in the Sight of the Lord
CCB: 72
Renew: 188
Refiner’s Fire
CCB: 79
Music Resources Key:
UMH: United Methodist Hymnal
H82: The Hymnal 1982
PH: Presbyterian Hymnal
AAHH: African American Heritage Hymnal
NNBH: The New National Baptist Hymnal
NCH: The New Century Hymnal
CH: Chalice Hymnal
LBW: Lutheran Book of Worship
ELA: Evangelical Lutheran Worship
W&P: Worship & Praise
AMEC: African Methodist Episcopal Church Hymnal
STLT: Singing the Living Tradition
CCB: Cokesbury Chorus Book
Renew: Renew! Songs & Hymns for Blended Worship
Prayer for the Day/Collect
O God who calls creation to grow and change:
Grant us the grace to grow into maturity
willing to change and leave the past behind;
through Jesus Christ our Savior. Amen.
OR
We praise you, O God, because you created us to grow and change. Help us to leave the past behind as we become mature people. Help us to face the places where we need to change and then to begin the process of changing. Amen.
Prayer of Confession
Leader: Let us confess to God and before one another our sins and especially our unwillingness to confess our faults and grow into mature Christians.
People: We confess to you, O God, and before one another that we have sinned. We are quick to see the faults of others but slow to acknowledge our own sins and failures. We are good at finding excuses for our bad behavior but not so good and changing. Instead of growing and becoming mature we too often act like spoiled children. Forgive us and help us to use the power of your Spirit to repent and grow. Amen.
Leader: God created us for good. Trust in God’s love and direction for your life. Rejoice in God’s forgiveness and share that forgiveness with others.
Prayers of the People
We praise you, O God, for the love with which you created us. We praise you for giving us the ability to grow and mature.
(The following paragraph may be used if a separate prayer of confession has not been used.)
We confess to you, O God, and before one another that we have sinned. We are quick to see the faults of others but slow to acknowledge our own sins and failures. We are good at finding excuses for our bad behavior but not so good and changing. Instead of growing and becoming mature we too often act like spoiled children. Forgive us and help us to use the power of your Spirit to repent and grow.
We thank you for the opportunity to repent and to change the direction of our lives. We thank you that your love encourages us to grow in wisdom and maturity.
(Other thanksgivings may be offered.)
We pray for one another in our need. We pray for those who are shamed by others who refuse to forgive them. We pray for all who find it difficult to forgive themselves.
(Other intercessions may be offered.)
All these things we ask in the Name of our Savior Jesus Christ who taught us to pray together saying:
Our Father....Amen.
(Or if the Our Father is not used at this point in the service)
All this we ask in the Name of the Blessed and Holy Trinity. Amen.
Children’s Sermon Starter
Show the children pictures of babies and talk about how cute they are in their bonnets, with their pacifiers, etc. (Or use a real baby, if available!) Ask if they think they would look cute dressed like that. What about their parents? What is cute and normal for babies isn’t for older children and adults. We grow and we mature. Sometimes babies cry when they don’t have what they want. That is okay for babies. It is the only way they can communicate. But as we get older we learn how to talk and ask for things. We learn we can’t always have what we want when we want it. God invites us all to grow up and learn how to love one another.
CHILDREN’S SERMON
What Is It?
by Chris Keating
Exodus 16:2-4, 9-15
Gather ahead of time:
- A paper lunch bag
- Strips of paper which say, “God provides”
- A box of graham crackers/Teddy Grahams.
- A list of school supplies needed from at-risk youth organizations or community service agencies.
As the children gather, greet them and ask them if they can tell you about the last time they took a really, really boring car trip. Long road trips can be especially trying for children -- how many times can they remember saying, “Are we there yet?” or “How much longer?” or “I’m hungry!” Ask them to imagine going on a long trip to a place where they have never been. What do they imagine would be boring? What would be exciting?
Briefly share some highlights about Israel’s meanderings in the wilderness, and how they had begun complaining that the trip was taking too long. Not only that, now they are hungry and there doesn’t seem to be good choices. There were no rest stops or McDonalds, no fast food places or even stores to buy food. Every day their complaints got worse! They were not happy.
Can you imagine a time when you are hungry and not happy? What happens?
The good news, of course, is that God hears their cries. God heard their cries when they were in Egypt, and God hears their cries when they are lost. One day, the Israelites wake up, and they find that the ground is covered with a “fine, flaky substance.” “What is it?” they wondered.
What do you think it was?
Holding the bag of graham crackers, ask the children if they can guess what is inside your bag. What is it? After several guesses, pass around the graham crackers. As the children get them, tell them that God surprised Israel by providing them something they called “Bread from heaven,” or “manna.” Manna can also be a play on words for their questions, “What is it?” When they were hungry, God provided. And God always provides.
As you pass around the pieces of paper which say, “God provides,” invite the children to be God’s helpers in providing for those who need school supplies in your area. God instructed the Israelites to share the manna they had received, and God wants us to share as well. One way we can help others know that God provides is by picking up a few extra school supplies when we are doing our back to school shopping. We can share those gifts with children in the area, so that they also will know that God provides.
Close with a prayer thanking God for all the many ways God provides for us, and for the many different forms that manna can take in our lives. Help us always to be surprised, wondering, “What is it?” so that we may receive all of God’s gifts.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Immediate Word, August 5, 2018, issue.
Copyright 2018 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to The Immediate Word service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons and in worship and classroom settings only. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., 5450 N. Dixie Highway, Lima, Ohio 45807.
