Living With Anger
Children's sermon
Illustration
Preaching
Sermon
Worship
The furor surrounding Mel Gibson and his outburst toward a police officer has been a major item in the news during the past week -- and while the prominence of this story is in part a reflection of our culture's obsession with celebrities and the details of their private lives, it also provides a glimpse of the shocking behavior that sometimes results when anger gets the best us. In this installment of The Immediate Word, team member Scott Suskovic uses the Gibson story as a springboard for discussing anger and its corrosive effects, basing his approach on the lectionary passage from Ephesians in which Paul counsels us to "Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil" (4:26-27). Team member Steve McCutchan contributes further thoughts, focusing on how we might apply Paul's lessons on anger in the church today. Several illustrations on both anger and the "bread of life" theme from the Gospel reading are included, as well as worship resources and a children's sermon.
Living With Anger
by Scott Suskovic
Ephesians 4:25-5:2
THE WORLD
Each day this week the news has featured an update on Mel Gibson. The actor and movie director was arrested in California on drunk driving charges, and in the course of being arrested Mr. Gibson evidently uttered some anti-Semitic remarks. In light of the controversy surrounding his movie The Passion of the Christ, these remarks have created a surge of publicity. Mr. Gibson has released a profound apology for his remarks (not a denial), a restatement that he is not anti-Semitic, and an admission that he is seeking treatment for his drinking.
Such a story makes one wonder about anger. Does anger always lie there just below the surface, ready to erupt after a hard day, a stubbed toe, or a couple of drinks? Can anger be eliminated in our lives, or must it constantly be managed? The fiasco surrounding Mel Gibson also makes us wonder how well we would fare if we had his stardom. With every move, every word, every action under scrutiny, what would the camera reveal about our own semi-hidden anger?
THE WORD
In this week's Ephesians text, Paul talks about righteous living. There are many suggestions about not stealing, living purely, and being above reproach. Paul also gives four very specific and practical guidelines for dealing with anger:
1. Be angry! This is in the imperative. In other words, it is a command. We hesitate to point out this command to be angry to those who need very little encouragement! However, here we see that anger itself is not a sin. While Jesus spoke against anger in Matthew 5, we know that Jesus himself was angry with the moneychangers in the Temple. Furthermore, the angriest person in the Bible is God! Three hundred seventy-five (375) times in the Old Testament there is mention of the anger or wrath of God. Anger itself is not a sin. Sometimes we are called to be angry. If Martin Luther King had not been angry at racism, the civil rights movement might not have flourished. If Gandhi had not been angry at oppression, India's independence might not have happened. Anger, channeled in a positive way, can be a catalyst for change.
2. ...but do not sin. Here is the rub. Be angry, but do not sin. There is a difference, isn't there, between righteous and unrighteous anger? Righteous anger, the type displayed by Jesus with the moneychangers, is not forbidden here. We all know the type of sinful anger of which Paul writes. It's the anger that is ego-driven, relationship-destroying, and revenge-seeking. This is the anger of which Jesus spoke when he said that if you are angry with another, you commit murder. Proverbs 29:11 says: "A stupid man gives free reign to his anger, but a wise man waits and lets it grow cool."
3. ...do not let the sun go down on your anger. How shall we understand this? Literally? Don't go to bed angry? I'm much better at resolving conflict with my wife at 9:00 in the morning than at midnight -- late into the night, I'll often say something I will regret. I'll get petty; I'll get sarcastic. "Don't let the sun go down on your anger." Could that simply mean, "resolve your anger quickly"? How many relationships have been forever destroyed because some small issue was left to fester, grow, and divide the best of friends? Paul is not telling us to resolve the issue before the sun goes down. Resolution may take a long time. However, Paul is telling us to put aside our anger quickly.
4. Do not give the devil a foothold. If Jesus prayed about unity in John 17, we can be sure that the devil is working toward disunity. When anger erupts, it is as if there is a third person in that room who delights in the cutting sarcasm, the hurtful words, and the hateful threats. Paul reminds us that this third person is looking for that foothold. Don't give it to him.
CRAFTING THE SERMON
It would be the easiest thing in the world to cast stones at Mel Gibson for his angry remarks. However, who among us would be left standing if a camera followed us around each day, waiting for something to report to the press? Scripture reminds us that all of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God -- famous and not so famous alike.
Paul's words here in Ephesians reveal to us something about dealing with both Mr. Gibson's anger as well as our own:
* Anger can quickly lead to sin. When racial slurs are added and hateful remarks are thrown, that line is quickly crossed and sin creeps in.
* Anger must be dealt with quickly. While no one condones such racial slurs (not even Mr. Gibson himself), there is something commendable about a quick apology and a desire to amend that relationship.
* Anger is a foothold for the devil. It is not just the media who delights in catching Mel Gibson speaking anti-Semitic words -- the devil rejoices as well. More fuel for the fire... more lines drawn... more battles to fight. This is a foothold.
The answer, of course, is found in God's grace. No one stands innocent and blameless before God. Anger lurks deep within each of us, and for some it doesn't take much for anger to reach the surface. In the heat of an argument, when tempers are flaring and that third person is hammering that wedge and smiling with delight, you wonder: Who's going to go first? Who's going to break first? Who's going to say they are sorry first? Who's going to say I forgive you first? Who's going to cross that line first? Not me... not me. And that third person in the room, the devil, delights in the rising anger.
Thankfully, there is a fourth person in the room who says: I will. I'll go first. I forgive your angry words, your hurtful deeds, your hard head, your stupid ego, your immature self-pity, and your ugly revenge. How about I go first? Your sins are forgiven. Now, forgive one another as I have forgiven you. Now, be angry but do not sin. Now, do not let that sun go down on your anger. And above all, don't you dare crack open that door and give the devil room in your relationship because he'll take it and rip you apart.
That fourth person in the room is named Jesus, and he has already taken that first step. The next one is yours. Paul knew that in writing Ephesians -- even Paul, who uttered in Galatians that he wished those Judaizers who demanded circumcision would castrate themselves, is not innocent. Perhaps these words in Ephesians are one more example of Paul writing from personal experience. He needed to hear words of encouragement and grace, chief sinner that he is. But then again, don't we all as preachers really preach that which we need to hear? Most Sundays we are merely preaching to ourselves; the congregation simply listens in.
ANOTHER VIEW
by Stephen McCutchan
In addition to Scott's helpful analysis, I think that it is very important for the pastor to remember that Paul is not writing a Dear Abby column of advice to individuals on how to control their anger -- he is writing to the church as a corporate community. The church at Corinth had exhibited a strong capacity to engage in quarreling as well as other acts that tore at the fabric of the community of faith. They were having a great deal of difficulty in demonstrating the one Body of Christ by their behavior towards each other. If, as Jesus declared, the whole faith can be summed up in the two commandments around relationships -- love of God and love of neighbor -- then their relationship with their neighbors within the church was a critical element in how they proclaimed the gospel. Given our seemingly incessant capacity to engage in endless fights within the church, both as individual congregations and as denominations, it is quite appropriate to listen in on how Paul instructs the church to behave.
It is clear from Paul's instructions that the new life in Christ was not automatic. Like the church today, Paul's church also wrestled with negative human behavior that tore at community. The central core of Paul's instructions was a reminder that our faith is lived out in relationships. The Corinthian Christians were to measure their individual behavior in terms of how it affected the bonds of community: "Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear."
At the same time, Paul was not urging the avoidance of conflict through the hiding of their true feelings. That type of peace leads to a false sense of community which will finally be destructive to truth: "So then, putting away falsehood, let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another."
Paul understood that if they were truthful with their neighbor, sometimes their differences would result in anger. If they buried that anger so as not to cause conflict, they would, in Paul's words, be making "room for the devil." Such repressed anger would continue to work within them and would lead to a life of lies that was destructive to community. Drawing upon the wisdom of the Psalms (see Psalm 4:4), Paul encouraged people to "be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger."
Anger is a natural human emotion generated by our independent spirits rubbing up against each other. One does not have to question the sincerity of the various sides within current church fights to recognize that when people feel passionately about something, anger is often near the surface. Notice the force of Paul's advice. Facing anger honestly and immediately, keeping the value of the building up of the community primarily in mind, we have the opportunity to grow in relationship to each other.
Living in the kingdom is not an easy task, and it is a continual challenge for the church. What church has not experienced periods where the negative spirits seemed to dominate? Can you not hear Paul speaking directly to your church when he says, "Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice..."? What would be the effect if our various denominations followed that advice as they engaged in their debates?
When Paul urges us "to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another," it is more than just pragmatic advice. God in Christ having formed the church through forgiveness established the foundation for our community. The heart of authentic community rests on our recognizing that God has forgiven us; therefore, to be true to God, we must forgive each other. This will continually require sacrifice on each individual's part on behalf of the others in the community. In doing so, we are imitating God as we seek to "live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." With that corporate understanding before you, take Scott's four points but apply them to the church -- your individual church, your denomination, or the worldwide Body of Christ.
Be angry! The issues that we are fighting about are important. Scott points out that the scriptures record God becoming angry 375 times in the Old Testament, and we also know that Jesus became angry as well. But when we get angry, be in charge of that anger and don't let the anger be in charge of you: "Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear." Or "do not sin." Our anger should be against what is tearing down our community of faith, and toward what will build it up. Gandhi was once asked why he did not become a Christian. His response was that when he read about Jesus in the New Testament, he was very tempted to become a Christian -- but then he looked at how Christians behaved and the attraction died away.
Do not let the sun go down on your anger. Another way to put that would be to say, "Don't let your anger hide in the dark where it can fester and grow." Name your anger -- and deal with it in the open. Churches don't benefit from little groups that meet to plot the defeat of their opposition on an issue. Churches benefit when people come together, share honestly their differences, and seek together a solution that honors Christ.
Do not give the devil a foothold. C.S. Lewis once wrote a marvelous book called The Screwtape Letters. It was a satire about all the little ways that the devil can defeat the church by playing on our self-righteousness and piety. It is important for us to remember that the best of us can do bad by doing good.
In our current fractured community of faith, this Ephesians text is a very important passage to put before the people. It is also an important passage for each of us to hear for ourselves.
ILLUSTRATIONS
Scott Adams, creator of the Dilbert comic strip, was conducting his "Second Annual Highly Unscientific Dilbert Survey" when he asked this question: "If you had a chance to hit your boss in the back of the head with one of the following objects, with no risk of being caught, which would you use?"
Here's how his respondents answered:
* a large bean burrito -- 19%
* a "Nerf" ball -- 17%
* a ripe melon -- 14%
* a framed certificate of appreciation -- 13%
* an outdated computer you are forced to use -- 13%
* your last performance review, including the 600 lb. filing cabinet you keep it in -- 13%
* all your coworkers, bound by duct tape and flung from a huge catapult -- 8%
* a Ford Pinto with a full tank of gas -- 7%
Adams explains why the bean burrito was the big winner: "I think the bean burrito won because it would make a really cool sound and it would be messy with or without guacamole." He observes further that the bean burrito may have picked up a few votes for another reason: "Over 64% of respondents selected a non-lethal response, knowing that if their boss were injured it would mean more work for them."
Well, that's how things work in the twisted universe of Dilbert... but even in the real world, you have to admit there's something intrinsically attractive about anger.
***
There's an old story about the famous painter Leonardo da Vinci. During the time when Leonardo was working on his famous painting "The Last Supper," he became angry with an acquaintance of his. The two men had words and parted from each other on very bad terms. Leonardo returned to the church on whose wall he was painting the fresco.
It was no use. Leonardo could paint nothing he was happy with. It just so happened that he had reached the point in the project where he was doing the face of Jesus. Time and again he tried to render a passable likeness of the Lord, but he was unable to do so.
Finally the great artist realized that he had work to do, but it was not in the church he had been commissioned to decorate. Leonardo put down his brushes and palette, and sought out the man who had been the subject of his wrath. He asked the man's forgiveness. The man accepted his apology and offered an apology of his own.
It was only then that Leonardo was able to return to the church and finish painting the face of Jesus.
There's a powerful message in that homely little story. Whenever we allow our lives to be ruled by anger, we too cannot perceive the face of our Lord. First we must be reconciled to our fellow men and women; only then can we be reconciled with our God.
***
How do we befriend our inner enemies lust and anger? By listening to what they are saying. They say, "I have some unfulfilled needs" and "Who really loves me?" Instead of pushing our lust and anger away as unwelcome guests, we can recognize that our anxious, driven hearts need some healing. Our restlessness calls us to look for the true inner rest where lust and anger can be converted into a deeper way of loving.
There is a lot of unruly energy in lust and anger! When that energy can be directed toward loving well, we can transform not only ourselves but even those who might otherwise become the victims of our anger and lust. This takes patience, but it is possible.
-- Henri J.M. Nouwen, Bread for the Journey
***
When do we become angry? Often it's when we're afraid we or others will lose (or have already lost) someone or something that's important to us -- our job, our health, a friend, a loved one -- something we thought we had a right to have, but that now is being (or already has been) taken from us.
Jesus knew the full extent of this awful kind of loss. When he cried out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" he was experiencing the depths of the most terrible loss any of us can sustain, the loss of the presence of God.
But we don't need to go through that, because Jesus has promised us, his followers, that he will never leave us or forsake us. \ He will never leave us; we will never lose him.
***
Sometimes we're angry with others, sometimes we're angry with ourselves, and sometimes we're angry with God.
But is it okay to be angry with God?
Well, God already knows what we're thinking and feeling, so why not level with him and talk to him about what's bugging us? Instead of letting our anger separate us from God, we can turn it into an opportunity to really communicate with him at the level of our deepest feelings, knowing that he'll understand and help us deal with whatever difficulty we're facing.
***
When we become angry, it's important that we not take it out on other people. Yet we do need to find some outlet for the fury that's raging within us.
Sometimes something as simple as pounding the upholstered chair we're sitting in, or going outside and throwing a few basketballs into the hoop, or digging in our garden can help us get rid of our pent-up emotions -- and being ready to ask the Lord to help us deal more calmly with the situation.
We will have losses in our life. One writer referred to them as "necessary losses." No one can get through life without losing friends and loved ones, without watching hopes and dreams being shattered, without experiencing health (and aging, if we live that long) difficulties.
But our Lord is always available to help us not only survive these difficulties but also learn from them and grow into the kind of people he is trying to help us become.
***
Habits of Our Hearts
anger is the ulcer
in our souls
that causes sleepless nights;
lies are the stones
we pile
on top of each other
until we have built
a wall
between us and another;
our words
muttered in malice
or
hurled like lightning
are the weapons of mass destruction
in the deserts of our lives.
all the habits
of our hearts
that break yours,
Gentle One,
we would let go of
so we might be held
in your grace.
-- Thom M. Shuman
***
As an Episcopalian, whose worship life is centered in community around the altar, I might see Christ as truly "present" in the breaking of Bread. I would remember the words of Jesus at the Last Supper, from which our entire Eucharistic Life is modeled, when he said: "Love on another." That love is "The Bread of Life."
On the other hand, a Lutheran friend of mine would remind me of Grace; the Grace of God given in the person of Jesus Christ that is indeed the Bread that comes down from heaven. That Bread fills the human heart with Love. What Grace is there greater than that? As Luther himself says in the Large Catechism: "For here in the sacrament [Communion] you receive from Christ's lips the forgiveness of sins, which contains and conveys God's grace and Spirit with all his gifts, protection, defense, and power against death and the devil and all evils." That Grace is manifest in this "Bread of Life."
And again, a Presbyterian friend might remind me of Calvin's Institutes of Religion, and the sign of a covenant as the reality behind the outward sign of that Bread. Thus again the nature of the Love of God in its covenantal dimension becomes clear, especially when Jesus says: "I am the Bread of Life."
As we think of all of our denominational "twists" on our biblical understandings of the Christ Event, I cannot help but think of St. Paul's words in his great Hymn to Love: "Our knowledge now is partial, then it will be made whole, like God's knowledge of us" (1 Corinthians 12). On this side of the Kingdom, our knowledge of Faith, Hope, and Love are indeed partial.
Wholeness comes when Jesus reminds us that He is the Bread of Life; he reminds us of the wholeness of our knowledge of Him. We discover that wholeness insofar as we Love Him and insofar as we Love One Another.
***
His name is Christopher. He is named after that now demoted saint, who is said to have "carried" Christ on his shoulders over perilous streams in Germany centuries ago, before bridges made such travel somewhat safer. For a fee, weary travelers could engage the services of a stalwart sort to carry them and their belongings across rivers and streams, especially in stormy times. On one especially stormy night, it is said that the heroics and humanitarian work of an especially conscientious practitioner of this kind of service discovered he was carrying none other than our Lord as he carried the poorest to safety; someone unable to pay. The story is dismissed by historians in the church, but the name and the myths have stuck. Hence the name Christopher means literally "Christ carrier."
But the Christopher I speak of is a young man who had been around the block a couple of times. I'm afraid he fell victim to drug abuse. He developed quite a reputation around town. He came to a priest one time as he struggled to move away from the old ways of sin that were leading him toward death. There were conversations that led into the small hours of the night because the priest thought he was worth saving. Eventually he began to read several books the priest thought would be helpful. And they were. But ultimately Christopher began to read the Bible. He was led somehow to read the Sermon on the Mount and the Gospel of Mark. Imagine the young man's surprise when he discovered in those few pages how much God loves him, forgives him, and seeks eagerly to reconcile him to the entire community of faith.
So now he wants to be baptized. He wants to put to death the old way of life that leads to sin and death. Indeed, he wants to embrace and hold fast the New Life that he can have in Jesus. He can share that life as a peer counselor with others who are struggling to overcome their addictions to drugs and alcohol.
The priest asked him what it was that finally did the trick of conversion. "Reading the Bible," he said without a moment's hesitation. "There is so much love and forgiveness in that Book and it sounds so different from those who seem to use it as a weapon for judgment. It was Good News to the likes of me to discover how much God loves even ME!"
Christopher is a Christ carrier indeed. And for Chris, Jesus is the Bread of Life.
***
Love is the bread of life: you have to make it everyday if you want it fresh.
-- anonymous
WORSHIP RESOURCES
by Thom M. Shuman
Call To Worship
Leader: Watch what God does:
mostly God loves us.
People: We would learn a life of such love
so we might do as God does.
Leader: Watch how Christ loves us:
not with caution, but with extravagance.
People: We would practice such lavish love,
not noticing what it costs us.
Leader: Watch how the Spirit loves us:
moving in us, breathing love into us.
People: We would live such love for others,
keeping company with God.
Prayer Of The Day
We gather in this place, with these people, in these moments, Gentle God,
because we hope our self-righteous anger
might become passionate justice for others.
We gather in this place, with these people, in these moments, Christ our Bread,
because we hope our complacency with half-lies
might become a hunger for your truth.
We gather in this place, with these people, in these moments, Gifting Spirit,
because we hope our fumbling, faltering words
might be transfigured into good news to others.
We gather in this place, with these people, in these moments, God, Christ, and Spirit,
praying as we have been taught,
Our Father . . .
Call To Reconciliation
It's this simple -- God loves us.
But our inactions grieve God, our sins break God's heart.
In Christ, God forgives us through and through.
Let us confess our failures and our faithlessness,
trusting in God's promise to make us new.
(Unison) Prayer Of Confession
We break your heart, God of all the world, by the respectable lives we lead.
Blessed by you with every gift, we practice thrift towards others.
Seeking to be good and proper Christians, we overlook you
in the company of the poor, the oppressed, those without a voice.
We choose to spread gossip about our friends and neighbors,
when we could speak gently to them.
Forgive us for the pain we cause you and other people, Grieving God.
Help us to make a clean break with those habits which keep us from wholeness.
Open us to the movement of your Spirit within us.
Feed us with the Bread of Life,
so we might have the love and passion to feed the world.
This we pray in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
(silent prayers may be offered)
Assurance Of Pardon
Leader: It is really that simple -- God loves us.
Through the Holy Spirit, God works in us,
transfiguring our old ways, breathing life and love into us.
People: We receive God's grace, so we can offer it to others.
We are caressed in God's gentleness, so we can hold the broken.
We will be quick to forgive, even as God has forgiven us.
Thanks be to God. Amen.
CHILDREN'S SERMON
Forgive one another
Object: an alarm clock -- set for bedtime
Good morning, boys and girls. How many of you can tell time? (let them answer) Can anyone tell me what time it is on this clock? (let them answer) It's about (time), which for some of you could be the time you go to bed at night. I brought this clock with me because it reminds me of this morning's lesson. The lesson tells us to not let the sun go down if we are angry with someone. It also tells us to forgive one another.
I want to tell you a story about two girls. They were best friends. Every day in the summer they would get together to play. Sometimes they would play games outdoors like kickball or Mother May I. Sometimes they would draw on the sidewalk with colored chalk. Sometimes they would play in a backyard playhouse with their toys. One day something happened while they were playing that made one of the girls upset with the other. For some reason they started to argue. One of the girls told the other that she had enough of this arguing. She said that she was going into her house. She would never play with her friend again. The other girl said the exact same thing. Both girls went home mad. Has anything like this happened between you and any of your friends? (let them answer) The girls remained angry with each other for the rest of the day. By bedtime, both girls felt a little sorry about the argument. Just before bedtime, one of the girls asked her parents if she could go next door for a minute. She went to her friend's house. She took a cookie with her. She gave the cookie to her friend and told her something like this: "I can't remember why we argued. Will you forgive me? Will you still be my friend and can we play together tomorrow?" The other girl was relieved to hear this. She answered: "Yes, you are still my friend. Yes, I forgive you. Will you forgive me? Yes, we can play tomorrow."
These girls didn't let the sun do down while they were angry. They settled their argument first. This week, if you get into an argument with someone, try to settle it before you go to bed. Be a forgiving person. If you do, everyone will be much happier.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Immediate Word, August 13, 2006, issue.
Copyright 2006 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to The Immediate Word service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons and in worship and classroom settings only. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to permissions@csspub.com or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., 517 South Main Street, Lima, Ohio 45804.
Living With Anger
by Scott Suskovic
Ephesians 4:25-5:2
THE WORLD
Each day this week the news has featured an update on Mel Gibson. The actor and movie director was arrested in California on drunk driving charges, and in the course of being arrested Mr. Gibson evidently uttered some anti-Semitic remarks. In light of the controversy surrounding his movie The Passion of the Christ, these remarks have created a surge of publicity. Mr. Gibson has released a profound apology for his remarks (not a denial), a restatement that he is not anti-Semitic, and an admission that he is seeking treatment for his drinking.
Such a story makes one wonder about anger. Does anger always lie there just below the surface, ready to erupt after a hard day, a stubbed toe, or a couple of drinks? Can anger be eliminated in our lives, or must it constantly be managed? The fiasco surrounding Mel Gibson also makes us wonder how well we would fare if we had his stardom. With every move, every word, every action under scrutiny, what would the camera reveal about our own semi-hidden anger?
THE WORD
In this week's Ephesians text, Paul talks about righteous living. There are many suggestions about not stealing, living purely, and being above reproach. Paul also gives four very specific and practical guidelines for dealing with anger:
1. Be angry! This is in the imperative. In other words, it is a command. We hesitate to point out this command to be angry to those who need very little encouragement! However, here we see that anger itself is not a sin. While Jesus spoke against anger in Matthew 5, we know that Jesus himself was angry with the moneychangers in the Temple. Furthermore, the angriest person in the Bible is God! Three hundred seventy-five (375) times in the Old Testament there is mention of the anger or wrath of God. Anger itself is not a sin. Sometimes we are called to be angry. If Martin Luther King had not been angry at racism, the civil rights movement might not have flourished. If Gandhi had not been angry at oppression, India's independence might not have happened. Anger, channeled in a positive way, can be a catalyst for change.
2. ...but do not sin. Here is the rub. Be angry, but do not sin. There is a difference, isn't there, between righteous and unrighteous anger? Righteous anger, the type displayed by Jesus with the moneychangers, is not forbidden here. We all know the type of sinful anger of which Paul writes. It's the anger that is ego-driven, relationship-destroying, and revenge-seeking. This is the anger of which Jesus spoke when he said that if you are angry with another, you commit murder. Proverbs 29:11 says: "A stupid man gives free reign to his anger, but a wise man waits and lets it grow cool."
3. ...do not let the sun go down on your anger. How shall we understand this? Literally? Don't go to bed angry? I'm much better at resolving conflict with my wife at 9:00 in the morning than at midnight -- late into the night, I'll often say something I will regret. I'll get petty; I'll get sarcastic. "Don't let the sun go down on your anger." Could that simply mean, "resolve your anger quickly"? How many relationships have been forever destroyed because some small issue was left to fester, grow, and divide the best of friends? Paul is not telling us to resolve the issue before the sun goes down. Resolution may take a long time. However, Paul is telling us to put aside our anger quickly.
4. Do not give the devil a foothold. If Jesus prayed about unity in John 17, we can be sure that the devil is working toward disunity. When anger erupts, it is as if there is a third person in that room who delights in the cutting sarcasm, the hurtful words, and the hateful threats. Paul reminds us that this third person is looking for that foothold. Don't give it to him.
CRAFTING THE SERMON
It would be the easiest thing in the world to cast stones at Mel Gibson for his angry remarks. However, who among us would be left standing if a camera followed us around each day, waiting for something to report to the press? Scripture reminds us that all of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God -- famous and not so famous alike.
Paul's words here in Ephesians reveal to us something about dealing with both Mr. Gibson's anger as well as our own:
* Anger can quickly lead to sin. When racial slurs are added and hateful remarks are thrown, that line is quickly crossed and sin creeps in.
* Anger must be dealt with quickly. While no one condones such racial slurs (not even Mr. Gibson himself), there is something commendable about a quick apology and a desire to amend that relationship.
* Anger is a foothold for the devil. It is not just the media who delights in catching Mel Gibson speaking anti-Semitic words -- the devil rejoices as well. More fuel for the fire... more lines drawn... more battles to fight. This is a foothold.
The answer, of course, is found in God's grace. No one stands innocent and blameless before God. Anger lurks deep within each of us, and for some it doesn't take much for anger to reach the surface. In the heat of an argument, when tempers are flaring and that third person is hammering that wedge and smiling with delight, you wonder: Who's going to go first? Who's going to break first? Who's going to say they are sorry first? Who's going to say I forgive you first? Who's going to cross that line first? Not me... not me. And that third person in the room, the devil, delights in the rising anger.
Thankfully, there is a fourth person in the room who says: I will. I'll go first. I forgive your angry words, your hurtful deeds, your hard head, your stupid ego, your immature self-pity, and your ugly revenge. How about I go first? Your sins are forgiven. Now, forgive one another as I have forgiven you. Now, be angry but do not sin. Now, do not let that sun go down on your anger. And above all, don't you dare crack open that door and give the devil room in your relationship because he'll take it and rip you apart.
That fourth person in the room is named Jesus, and he has already taken that first step. The next one is yours. Paul knew that in writing Ephesians -- even Paul, who uttered in Galatians that he wished those Judaizers who demanded circumcision would castrate themselves, is not innocent. Perhaps these words in Ephesians are one more example of Paul writing from personal experience. He needed to hear words of encouragement and grace, chief sinner that he is. But then again, don't we all as preachers really preach that which we need to hear? Most Sundays we are merely preaching to ourselves; the congregation simply listens in.
ANOTHER VIEW
by Stephen McCutchan
In addition to Scott's helpful analysis, I think that it is very important for the pastor to remember that Paul is not writing a Dear Abby column of advice to individuals on how to control their anger -- he is writing to the church as a corporate community. The church at Corinth had exhibited a strong capacity to engage in quarreling as well as other acts that tore at the fabric of the community of faith. They were having a great deal of difficulty in demonstrating the one Body of Christ by their behavior towards each other. If, as Jesus declared, the whole faith can be summed up in the two commandments around relationships -- love of God and love of neighbor -- then their relationship with their neighbors within the church was a critical element in how they proclaimed the gospel. Given our seemingly incessant capacity to engage in endless fights within the church, both as individual congregations and as denominations, it is quite appropriate to listen in on how Paul instructs the church to behave.
It is clear from Paul's instructions that the new life in Christ was not automatic. Like the church today, Paul's church also wrestled with negative human behavior that tore at community. The central core of Paul's instructions was a reminder that our faith is lived out in relationships. The Corinthian Christians were to measure their individual behavior in terms of how it affected the bonds of community: "Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear."
At the same time, Paul was not urging the avoidance of conflict through the hiding of their true feelings. That type of peace leads to a false sense of community which will finally be destructive to truth: "So then, putting away falsehood, let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another."
Paul understood that if they were truthful with their neighbor, sometimes their differences would result in anger. If they buried that anger so as not to cause conflict, they would, in Paul's words, be making "room for the devil." Such repressed anger would continue to work within them and would lead to a life of lies that was destructive to community. Drawing upon the wisdom of the Psalms (see Psalm 4:4), Paul encouraged people to "be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger."
Anger is a natural human emotion generated by our independent spirits rubbing up against each other. One does not have to question the sincerity of the various sides within current church fights to recognize that when people feel passionately about something, anger is often near the surface. Notice the force of Paul's advice. Facing anger honestly and immediately, keeping the value of the building up of the community primarily in mind, we have the opportunity to grow in relationship to each other.
Living in the kingdom is not an easy task, and it is a continual challenge for the church. What church has not experienced periods where the negative spirits seemed to dominate? Can you not hear Paul speaking directly to your church when he says, "Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice..."? What would be the effect if our various denominations followed that advice as they engaged in their debates?
When Paul urges us "to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another," it is more than just pragmatic advice. God in Christ having formed the church through forgiveness established the foundation for our community. The heart of authentic community rests on our recognizing that God has forgiven us; therefore, to be true to God, we must forgive each other. This will continually require sacrifice on each individual's part on behalf of the others in the community. In doing so, we are imitating God as we seek to "live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." With that corporate understanding before you, take Scott's four points but apply them to the church -- your individual church, your denomination, or the worldwide Body of Christ.
Be angry! The issues that we are fighting about are important. Scott points out that the scriptures record God becoming angry 375 times in the Old Testament, and we also know that Jesus became angry as well. But when we get angry, be in charge of that anger and don't let the anger be in charge of you: "Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear." Or "do not sin." Our anger should be against what is tearing down our community of faith, and toward what will build it up. Gandhi was once asked why he did not become a Christian. His response was that when he read about Jesus in the New Testament, he was very tempted to become a Christian -- but then he looked at how Christians behaved and the attraction died away.
Do not let the sun go down on your anger. Another way to put that would be to say, "Don't let your anger hide in the dark where it can fester and grow." Name your anger -- and deal with it in the open. Churches don't benefit from little groups that meet to plot the defeat of their opposition on an issue. Churches benefit when people come together, share honestly their differences, and seek together a solution that honors Christ.
Do not give the devil a foothold. C.S. Lewis once wrote a marvelous book called The Screwtape Letters. It was a satire about all the little ways that the devil can defeat the church by playing on our self-righteousness and piety. It is important for us to remember that the best of us can do bad by doing good.
In our current fractured community of faith, this Ephesians text is a very important passage to put before the people. It is also an important passage for each of us to hear for ourselves.
ILLUSTRATIONS
Scott Adams, creator of the Dilbert comic strip, was conducting his "Second Annual Highly Unscientific Dilbert Survey" when he asked this question: "If you had a chance to hit your boss in the back of the head with one of the following objects, with no risk of being caught, which would you use?"
Here's how his respondents answered:
* a large bean burrito -- 19%
* a "Nerf" ball -- 17%
* a ripe melon -- 14%
* a framed certificate of appreciation -- 13%
* an outdated computer you are forced to use -- 13%
* your last performance review, including the 600 lb. filing cabinet you keep it in -- 13%
* all your coworkers, bound by duct tape and flung from a huge catapult -- 8%
* a Ford Pinto with a full tank of gas -- 7%
Adams explains why the bean burrito was the big winner: "I think the bean burrito won because it would make a really cool sound and it would be messy with or without guacamole." He observes further that the bean burrito may have picked up a few votes for another reason: "Over 64% of respondents selected a non-lethal response, knowing that if their boss were injured it would mean more work for them."
Well, that's how things work in the twisted universe of Dilbert... but even in the real world, you have to admit there's something intrinsically attractive about anger.
***
There's an old story about the famous painter Leonardo da Vinci. During the time when Leonardo was working on his famous painting "The Last Supper," he became angry with an acquaintance of his. The two men had words and parted from each other on very bad terms. Leonardo returned to the church on whose wall he was painting the fresco.
It was no use. Leonardo could paint nothing he was happy with. It just so happened that he had reached the point in the project where he was doing the face of Jesus. Time and again he tried to render a passable likeness of the Lord, but he was unable to do so.
Finally the great artist realized that he had work to do, but it was not in the church he had been commissioned to decorate. Leonardo put down his brushes and palette, and sought out the man who had been the subject of his wrath. He asked the man's forgiveness. The man accepted his apology and offered an apology of his own.
It was only then that Leonardo was able to return to the church and finish painting the face of Jesus.
There's a powerful message in that homely little story. Whenever we allow our lives to be ruled by anger, we too cannot perceive the face of our Lord. First we must be reconciled to our fellow men and women; only then can we be reconciled with our God.
***
How do we befriend our inner enemies lust and anger? By listening to what they are saying. They say, "I have some unfulfilled needs" and "Who really loves me?" Instead of pushing our lust and anger away as unwelcome guests, we can recognize that our anxious, driven hearts need some healing. Our restlessness calls us to look for the true inner rest where lust and anger can be converted into a deeper way of loving.
There is a lot of unruly energy in lust and anger! When that energy can be directed toward loving well, we can transform not only ourselves but even those who might otherwise become the victims of our anger and lust. This takes patience, but it is possible.
-- Henri J.M. Nouwen, Bread for the Journey
***
When do we become angry? Often it's when we're afraid we or others will lose (or have already lost) someone or something that's important to us -- our job, our health, a friend, a loved one -- something we thought we had a right to have, but that now is being (or already has been) taken from us.
Jesus knew the full extent of this awful kind of loss. When he cried out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" he was experiencing the depths of the most terrible loss any of us can sustain, the loss of the presence of God.
But we don't need to go through that, because Jesus has promised us, his followers, that he will never leave us or forsake us. \ He will never leave us; we will never lose him.
***
Sometimes we're angry with others, sometimes we're angry with ourselves, and sometimes we're angry with God.
But is it okay to be angry with God?
Well, God already knows what we're thinking and feeling, so why not level with him and talk to him about what's bugging us? Instead of letting our anger separate us from God, we can turn it into an opportunity to really communicate with him at the level of our deepest feelings, knowing that he'll understand and help us deal with whatever difficulty we're facing.
***
When we become angry, it's important that we not take it out on other people. Yet we do need to find some outlet for the fury that's raging within us.
Sometimes something as simple as pounding the upholstered chair we're sitting in, or going outside and throwing a few basketballs into the hoop, or digging in our garden can help us get rid of our pent-up emotions -- and being ready to ask the Lord to help us deal more calmly with the situation.
We will have losses in our life. One writer referred to them as "necessary losses." No one can get through life without losing friends and loved ones, without watching hopes and dreams being shattered, without experiencing health (and aging, if we live that long) difficulties.
But our Lord is always available to help us not only survive these difficulties but also learn from them and grow into the kind of people he is trying to help us become.
***
Habits of Our Hearts
anger is the ulcer
in our souls
that causes sleepless nights;
lies are the stones
we pile
on top of each other
until we have built
a wall
between us and another;
our words
muttered in malice
or
hurled like lightning
are the weapons of mass destruction
in the deserts of our lives.
all the habits
of our hearts
that break yours,
Gentle One,
we would let go of
so we might be held
in your grace.
-- Thom M. Shuman
***
As an Episcopalian, whose worship life is centered in community around the altar, I might see Christ as truly "present" in the breaking of Bread. I would remember the words of Jesus at the Last Supper, from which our entire Eucharistic Life is modeled, when he said: "Love on another." That love is "The Bread of Life."
On the other hand, a Lutheran friend of mine would remind me of Grace; the Grace of God given in the person of Jesus Christ that is indeed the Bread that comes down from heaven. That Bread fills the human heart with Love. What Grace is there greater than that? As Luther himself says in the Large Catechism: "For here in the sacrament [Communion] you receive from Christ's lips the forgiveness of sins, which contains and conveys God's grace and Spirit with all his gifts, protection, defense, and power against death and the devil and all evils." That Grace is manifest in this "Bread of Life."
And again, a Presbyterian friend might remind me of Calvin's Institutes of Religion, and the sign of a covenant as the reality behind the outward sign of that Bread. Thus again the nature of the Love of God in its covenantal dimension becomes clear, especially when Jesus says: "I am the Bread of Life."
As we think of all of our denominational "twists" on our biblical understandings of the Christ Event, I cannot help but think of St. Paul's words in his great Hymn to Love: "Our knowledge now is partial, then it will be made whole, like God's knowledge of us" (1 Corinthians 12). On this side of the Kingdom, our knowledge of Faith, Hope, and Love are indeed partial.
Wholeness comes when Jesus reminds us that He is the Bread of Life; he reminds us of the wholeness of our knowledge of Him. We discover that wholeness insofar as we Love Him and insofar as we Love One Another.
***
His name is Christopher. He is named after that now demoted saint, who is said to have "carried" Christ on his shoulders over perilous streams in Germany centuries ago, before bridges made such travel somewhat safer. For a fee, weary travelers could engage the services of a stalwart sort to carry them and their belongings across rivers and streams, especially in stormy times. On one especially stormy night, it is said that the heroics and humanitarian work of an especially conscientious practitioner of this kind of service discovered he was carrying none other than our Lord as he carried the poorest to safety; someone unable to pay. The story is dismissed by historians in the church, but the name and the myths have stuck. Hence the name Christopher means literally "Christ carrier."
But the Christopher I speak of is a young man who had been around the block a couple of times. I'm afraid he fell victim to drug abuse. He developed quite a reputation around town. He came to a priest one time as he struggled to move away from the old ways of sin that were leading him toward death. There were conversations that led into the small hours of the night because the priest thought he was worth saving. Eventually he began to read several books the priest thought would be helpful. And they were. But ultimately Christopher began to read the Bible. He was led somehow to read the Sermon on the Mount and the Gospel of Mark. Imagine the young man's surprise when he discovered in those few pages how much God loves him, forgives him, and seeks eagerly to reconcile him to the entire community of faith.
So now he wants to be baptized. He wants to put to death the old way of life that leads to sin and death. Indeed, he wants to embrace and hold fast the New Life that he can have in Jesus. He can share that life as a peer counselor with others who are struggling to overcome their addictions to drugs and alcohol.
The priest asked him what it was that finally did the trick of conversion. "Reading the Bible," he said without a moment's hesitation. "There is so much love and forgiveness in that Book and it sounds so different from those who seem to use it as a weapon for judgment. It was Good News to the likes of me to discover how much God loves even ME!"
Christopher is a Christ carrier indeed. And for Chris, Jesus is the Bread of Life.
***
Love is the bread of life: you have to make it everyday if you want it fresh.
-- anonymous
WORSHIP RESOURCES
by Thom M. Shuman
Call To Worship
Leader: Watch what God does:
mostly God loves us.
People: We would learn a life of such love
so we might do as God does.
Leader: Watch how Christ loves us:
not with caution, but with extravagance.
People: We would practice such lavish love,
not noticing what it costs us.
Leader: Watch how the Spirit loves us:
moving in us, breathing love into us.
People: We would live such love for others,
keeping company with God.
Prayer Of The Day
We gather in this place, with these people, in these moments, Gentle God,
because we hope our self-righteous anger
might become passionate justice for others.
We gather in this place, with these people, in these moments, Christ our Bread,
because we hope our complacency with half-lies
might become a hunger for your truth.
We gather in this place, with these people, in these moments, Gifting Spirit,
because we hope our fumbling, faltering words
might be transfigured into good news to others.
We gather in this place, with these people, in these moments, God, Christ, and Spirit,
praying as we have been taught,
Our Father . . .
Call To Reconciliation
It's this simple -- God loves us.
But our inactions grieve God, our sins break God's heart.
In Christ, God forgives us through and through.
Let us confess our failures and our faithlessness,
trusting in God's promise to make us new.
(Unison) Prayer Of Confession
We break your heart, God of all the world, by the respectable lives we lead.
Blessed by you with every gift, we practice thrift towards others.
Seeking to be good and proper Christians, we overlook you
in the company of the poor, the oppressed, those without a voice.
We choose to spread gossip about our friends and neighbors,
when we could speak gently to them.
Forgive us for the pain we cause you and other people, Grieving God.
Help us to make a clean break with those habits which keep us from wholeness.
Open us to the movement of your Spirit within us.
Feed us with the Bread of Life,
so we might have the love and passion to feed the world.
This we pray in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
(silent prayers may be offered)
Assurance Of Pardon
Leader: It is really that simple -- God loves us.
Through the Holy Spirit, God works in us,
transfiguring our old ways, breathing life and love into us.
People: We receive God's grace, so we can offer it to others.
We are caressed in God's gentleness, so we can hold the broken.
We will be quick to forgive, even as God has forgiven us.
Thanks be to God. Amen.
CHILDREN'S SERMON
Forgive one another
Object: an alarm clock -- set for bedtime
Good morning, boys and girls. How many of you can tell time? (let them answer) Can anyone tell me what time it is on this clock? (let them answer) It's about (time), which for some of you could be the time you go to bed at night. I brought this clock with me because it reminds me of this morning's lesson. The lesson tells us to not let the sun go down if we are angry with someone. It also tells us to forgive one another.
I want to tell you a story about two girls. They were best friends. Every day in the summer they would get together to play. Sometimes they would play games outdoors like kickball or Mother May I. Sometimes they would draw on the sidewalk with colored chalk. Sometimes they would play in a backyard playhouse with their toys. One day something happened while they were playing that made one of the girls upset with the other. For some reason they started to argue. One of the girls told the other that she had enough of this arguing. She said that she was going into her house. She would never play with her friend again. The other girl said the exact same thing. Both girls went home mad. Has anything like this happened between you and any of your friends? (let them answer) The girls remained angry with each other for the rest of the day. By bedtime, both girls felt a little sorry about the argument. Just before bedtime, one of the girls asked her parents if she could go next door for a minute. She went to her friend's house. She took a cookie with her. She gave the cookie to her friend and told her something like this: "I can't remember why we argued. Will you forgive me? Will you still be my friend and can we play together tomorrow?" The other girl was relieved to hear this. She answered: "Yes, you are still my friend. Yes, I forgive you. Will you forgive me? Yes, we can play tomorrow."
These girls didn't let the sun do down while they were angry. They settled their argument first. This week, if you get into an argument with someone, try to settle it before you go to bed. Be a forgiving person. If you do, everyone will be much happier.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Immediate Word, August 13, 2006, issue.
Copyright 2006 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to The Immediate Word service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons and in worship and classroom settings only. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to permissions@csspub.com or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., 517 South Main Street, Lima, Ohio 45804.
