Login / Signup

Free Access

How Not To Throw A Party

Sermon
Come As You Are
Sermons On The Lord's Supper
When I prepare a sermon, I usually begin by reading the assigned Bible passage for that day, often in several translations. Then I free associate, writing down, as fast as I can, my thoughts about the passage as they come. Next I consult commentaries, the writings of learned Bible scholars, about the verses in question. I did all those things as groundwork for today's sermon.

But, I also consulted Emily Post. Not the actual Emily Post, the Baltimore-born socialite who used to summer on Martha's Vineyard. America's "First Lady of Etiquette" died about forty years ago. But I did consult the twelfth edition of Emily Post's Etiquette. Luke 14 focuses on etiquette for guests and hosts at dinner parties. I thought I should see what the original "Miss Manners" had to say on that subject.

I uncovered a lot while browsing through Emily Post's Etiquette (Funk and Wagnalls, 1969). I learned to kneel, kiss his ring, and address him as "Your Holiness" when having a private audience with the Pope. I learned replies to lunch invitations to the White House must always be handwritten and always returned that same day -- and the answer is always, "Yes." I learned maid's uniforms, including cuffs and collars, are supplied by the employer. But the cook's uniforms, except for his aprons, are not.


Emily Post was very specific about planning formal dinners. Seating charts were included showing which seats the guests of honor should get. Who's seated next to whom is also important. Emily writes: "Silly people should never be put anywhere near learned ones, nor the dull near the clever, unless the dull one is a young and pretty woman with a talent for listening, and the clever one is a man with an admiration for beauty and a love of talking" (p. 164).

Emily Post sums it up: "The requisites for a perfect formal dinner ... are ... Guests who are congenial, Servants who are competent, A lovely table setting -- Food that is perfectly prepared ... A cordial and hospitable host and a charming hostess" (and a good seating chart). "How to throw a party," a la Emily Post.

But, there are other kinds of parties. And there is another source we can turn to on how to throw a perfect party. That source is older even than Emily Post, who started writing about etiquette in 1922. The source is Scripture. And the "etiquette expert" is Jesus himself.

Jesus gives guidance on party protocol while attending a formal dinner. His host, though unnamed, was someone of importance. We can be sure that all the "right" people were there: Mr. Law, Mr. Rich, Mr. Goodland, and Mr. Stocksan Bonds were present and accounted for. Each, of course, was seated in accordance with his or her rank.

Maybe it was just as they were about to pass around the kosher caviar that Jesus dropped a bombshell. Jesus looked around the table, saw who was there -- and who was missing --and started to criticize his host -- in front of his guests!

"When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, in case they may invite you in return, and you would be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind. And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you, for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous" (Luke 14:12b-14, NRSV).

We can imagine the twitter around the table at Jesus' cutting comments: "Who does he think he is, Rabbi Nobody from Nowhere Nazareth? Anyone can clearly see he's N.O.K.D. (Not Our Kind, Dear). Who died and made him King?"

You see, the guests at that table were comfortable in a world that many of us live in: a world where rank has its privileges; where the first will always be first, and the last will always be last; a world where people (sometimes including you and me) struggle to elbow themselves upward; where image, titles, and honors count; where "networking" with the rich and powerful is a wise thing to do. Jesus would call that world the world of upward mobility, the world of "Me First," "The Kingdom of this World."

What Jesus offers instead is the vision of a new world. He calls that New Creation "The Kingdom of God." It was that new "Kingdom" that Jesus talked about more than anything, lived for, and died for. God's Kingdom includes banquets, too. But God's Banquet Feast will be different from any dinner party you or I will ever attend. Martin Copenhaver, Pastor of the Wellesley Congregational Church, offers a vision of what God's Banquet Feast might be like:

When God is throwing a party, you never know who will be there or whom you will sit next to. The financier will be seated next to the panhandler he always passed on his way to work. The store owner will be next to the person he just fired, and the doctor will be put next to the woman who just sued him for malpractice. Rush Limbaugh may be beside the single mother on welfare. Jerry Falwell may have to strike up a conversation with a gay rights activist.

Yes, all the "right" people will be there -- that is everyone who responds to (God's) invitation ... and seated next to the host (Jesus) in the places of honor are not the dignitaries, the celebrities, the distinguished people of position and prominence, but rather the poor, the hurting, the outcast -- people who have distinguished themselves only by their need." (Library of Distinctive Sermons, vol. 2, Multnomah Press, p. 48)


I might add to Copenhaver's vision that at that Banquet Feast, everyone will get along famously. And that at that Banquet Feast, you and I may well find ourselves seated next to, and engaging in conversation with, people we presently can't stand (or who can't stand us). But the old anger, hurt, and grudges will be gone, and reconciliation will come.

At God's Table, the barriers that keep people apart -- rich/poor, upperclass/lowerclass, black/white, Republican/Democrat, gay/straight, friend/foe, the dividing walls of hostility will come smashing down. The crash will be greater than the fall of the Berlin Wall. God's Banquet Feast will be the greatest party ever!

How can you and I get an invitation to a party like that? We already have one, issued by Jesus himself. That invitation is scattered throughout Scripture. Most of us have heard it most of our lives: "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28, RSV); "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me shall not hunger, and he who believes in me shall never thirst" (John 6:35, RSV). "Blessed are they who hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled" (Matthew 5:6, KJV).

Again and again in Scripture, Jesus offers us invitations: "Come to me, come to my Banquet Feast, and find yourselves restored, rested, and refreshed. But how seriously have we taken his invitation? Are we living in the Kingdom of God or in the Kingdom of this World? If our primary concern is "Me First" and "Looking Out for Number One," we're still living in the Kingdom of this World.

Honestly, I'd have to confess that the Kingdom of this World gets more than its fair share of my allegiance. What about you? Are you living in the Kingdom of this World or in the Kingdom of God? Where, long term, do you want to live?

The Kingdom of this World is familiar, powerful, and alluring. But every now and then, I have to tell you, I catch a glimpse of that Kingdom of God. For the Kingdom of God is both coming in Heaven and already here on earth. And, when I catch a glimpse of that Kingdom, I get excited. It looks good. I want more.

Last Sunday I think I caught a glimpse of The Kingdom of God. Once again we hosted a Day of Hospitality for guests from the NOAH Shelter in Hyannis. Twenty-two people, equally divided between churchmembers and guests, had a picnic on our lawn. It was a perfect afternoon: blue sky, lots of sun, but not too warm. The hot dogs and hamburgers were just the way I remembered them as a child, when my goal was to wolf down as many as I could (before I got sick). The Ice Cream Smuggler sent over ice cream. One of our guests said it was the best ice cream she had ever eaten.

We played games: croquet, the game of Kings and Queens, lawn bowling, Frisbee, and relay races. I ran a foot race against a ten-year-old, and lost! I never would have run against her had I known how fast she was! The music was loud. The teenagers were rowdy. A lady, reading her paper at the Village Green, threatened to call the police. Fortunately she changed her mind. One of our guests seemed a bit depressed. We learned it was his birthday. No one was celebrating. He perked up when we brought him cake and sang "Happy Birthday." Some of the volunteers had rushed through the church trying to locate a birthday candle. They tore apart the upstairs and downstairs kitchens. No candle. Finally, someone said, "Well, at least we can put a match on the cake." They found a box of stick matches. In it was a birthday candle.

The guest perked up even more when everyone complimented him on the music played on the boom box. He really started to shine when he proved to be the fastest runner! When he left, he smiled and said it had been a good day.

One guest, only a teenager herself, showed us pictures of her baby. Because she didn't think some of the women of the church believed she was a mother, she showed them her stretch marks, too! Another guest took me aside before leaving. He said he wanted to make a contribution to the Day of Hospitality. I watched him as he picked through the meager wad of bills in his pocket. It was mostly ones, probably everything he owned. I was stunned and shocked and moved when he pulled out a twenty-dollar bill, and gave it to me to give to the church!

Was last Sunday's party a party Emily Post would have approved of? Maybe not. Loud, rowdy, disorganized, the police almost called, stretch marks disclosed, a mixture of people, plastic-ware and styrofoam cups instead of silver and crystal. No one of any particular prominence. Just 22 children of God. Emily Post might have said that was how not to throw a party.

But, I think it was a wonderful glimpse of The Kingdom of God -- the Kingdom of God which is coming; the Kingdom of God which is already here, if we only have eyes to see. Thanks to Jesus Christ, you and I already have a place guaranteed at his Banquet table. Thanks to Jesus Christ, we don't have to worry or push or shove to get in. We have to only believe.

We celebrate that coming Banquet Feast every time we come together for Our Lord's Supper. We are the (spiritually) poor, crippled, lame, and blind that Christ calls to himself. Our place is assured. So, can we live in this world in such a way that we support the Kingdom of God when we see it? Can we even help God bring it to others?

"When you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind ... because they cannot repay you" (Luke 14:13, NRSV). And you will be blessed.
UPCOMING WEEKS
In addition to the lectionary resources there are thousands of non-lectionary, scripture based resources...
New Year's Eve/Day
13 – Sermons
40+ – Illustrations / Stories
16 – Children's Sermons / Resources
6 – Worship Resources
6 – Commentary / Exegesis
2 – Pastor's Devotions
and more...
Christmas 2
20 – Sermons
60+ – Illustrations / Stories
12 – Children's Sermons / Resources
10 – Worship Resources
12 – Commentary / Exegesis
4 – Pastor's Devotions
and more...
Epiphany of the Lord
30 – Sermons
120+ – Illustrations / Stories
31 – Children's Sermons / Resources
22 – Worship Resources
25 – Commentary / Exegesis
4 – Pastor's Devotions
and more...
Plus thousands of non-lectionary, scripture based resources...

New & Featured This Week

The Immediate Word

Nazish Naseem
Mary Austin
Thomas Willadsen
Katy Stenta
George Reed
Christopher Keating
For January 4-6, 2026:
Nazish Naseem
Mary Austin
Thomas Willadsen
Katy Stenta
George Reed
Christopher Keating
For January 4-6, 2026:

The Village Shepherd

Janice B. Scott
I was only just full-grown when we set out on the journey, but I was strong and eager for adventure. And by the time we returned to our own land after many years, I was older and wiser than my age might have you believe.

Don't get me wrong. I was happy in my home, living in the paddock with my brothers and sisters and the rest of the herd, for we were well looked after. We always had food and water, and the camel master almost never beat us, even when occasionally we'd spit at him, just for fun.

StoryShare

David O. Bales
Frank Ramirez
Timothy F. Merrill
Contents
What's Up This Week
"Sons from Far Away, Daughters in Nurses' Arms" by David O. Bales
"Tenting Among Us" by Frank Ramirez
"God's Resolutions" by Timothy F. Merrill


What's Up This Week
C. David Mckirachan
Larry Winebrenner
Keith Hewitt
Contents
"A Time for Everything" by Larry Winebrenner
"A Word of Hope" by Larry Winebrenner
"You Were Adopted" by C. David McKirachan
"Behold the Man" by Keith Hewitt


* * * * * * * *


A Time for Everything
Larry Winebrenner
Ecclesiastes 3:1-13

Henry didn't like Jack.

Oh, he loved him like a brother. He would die for his friend. But oh, the arrogance. He always thought he was right. And he would always use authority, authority of some kind, to support his claims.

SermonStudio

Mark Wm. Radecke
This season, the boundaries of darkness are pushed back. A light shines in the darkness and the darkness is powerless to extinguish it.

Darkness has always been a potent metaphor for those things in life that oppress and enthrall us, frighten and intimidate us, cause us worry and anxiety and leech the joy from our lives.

We know darkness in our physical lives when illness is close at hand, when we lack the basic necessities of life -- food, shelter and clothing.
Paul E. Robinson
Early in January in northern Canada the sun peeks above the horizon for the first time after six weeks of hiding. An important dawn for Canada. Imagine how the lives of people in the northern latitudes would be different if they got used to the darkness and never even expected that a dawn would ever lighten their horizon again.
John N. Brittain
We lived in Florida for a while in the 1980s and it was then that we learned about Tarpon Springs. Not a large city, it has the highest percentage of Greek Americans of any place in the US. This dates back to the 1880s, when Greek immigrants moving into the area were hired as sponge divers, a trade they had plied back in the old country. Today Tarpon Springs' main claim to fame is the Greek Orthodox Church's Epiphany celebration, which is held every January 6, with the blessing of the waters and the boats.
Charles L. Aaron, Jr.
Early January always feels like a fresh start. The Christmas whirlwind has settled down. We still have a fighting chance to keep our resolutions for the new year. Cartoons always depict the New Year as a baby, full of possibilities and innocence. We hope that with a new year we can leave the baggage behind us, stretching toward a brighter future.

Stephen M. Crotts
Many things are written with all of the excitement of some fresh truth recently received. Other things are written from anger. And there is much these days in any pastorate to make one mad. Still other messages are delivered from depression. I'm convinced that the majority of preachers I know are over the edge into burnout. And what of this particular study? Where am I coming from? Today, I'm writing from a broken heart, a heart shattered by a fallen comrade.
William B. Kincaid, III
Did you notice that bad things did not stop happening through the holidays? And is any warning necessary that bad things will happen in every season of this year? Surely there is better news than that, but we ought to be honest about the bad news. Not even the holidays generate enough good will to stop people from blowing up airplanes and destroying people's reputations and abusing children and selling drugs to teenagers and gunning down their neighbors.
Robert A. Beringer
"So, what's new?" he asked. It happens all the time. You meet someone on the street you have not seen for awhile. "What's new?" "Oh, nothing much, really.

Emphasis Preaching Journal

When to accommodate and when not to accommodate? That's the question we face today. Most likely, the minds and hearts of our congregations will be focused on the new year. They will have just celebrated the advent not only of a new year but in this case a new millennium. With all the hype about the year 2000, our attention will doubtless be engrossed in the calendar. On the other hand, today is also an important liturgical celebration of the naming of Jesus. It provides us opportunity to acknowledge the importance of that name which has become sacred in our tradition.
Mark J. Molldrem
Schuyler Rhodes
These are the longest hours of darkness. Although the winter solstice is passed, the darkness lingers for many more weeks. The season becomes a symbol for the longing of the human spirit to "see the light." It becomes difficult to catch sight of the light, however, when so many shadows lurk at every turn of a corner we make. We claim to be an enlightened people; yet settle for clap-trap on television and spend countless hours absorbing it like a sponge under a dripping faucet. We call athletes heroes for nothing more than being good at what they do.
Cathy Venkatesh
In many countries, January 6 is a public holiday with parades, parties, and festivities celebrating the visit of the wise men. For some Christian churches, the main celebration of Christ's incarnation occurs on this day. But in the United States, Monday, January 6, 2014, is nothing special in the public sphere. For most of us, this day marks the beginning of our first full week back at work or school after the Christmas and New Year's holidays.

CSSPlus

Teachers: Most youngsters (and many adults) have a misconception of the wise men. The Bible does not state that the wise men visited Jesus at the manger. Even so, our tradition of gift giving at Christmas may relate to the wise men's gifts. The church celebrates the arrival of the wise men's visit to Jesus 12 days after Christmas. This event is called "Epiphany."

Take a moment to explain to your students the significance of Epiphany, the wise men, and Jesus. The lesson from Matthew states three gifts that the wise men gave Jesus: gold, frankincense and
Today we are going to be like the wise men from the East who looked for baby Jesus. They were told the wonderful story about a promised Messiah who would save the world. He was the "king of the Jews" and would be king of all people. They traveled a great distance. They wanted to see the baby. They had to see the baby! So they left and ended up in Jerusalem. There they asked about the promised king.

The man who was king became very jealous. Even though they were looking for a spiritual king -- a king of our hearts, minds,
Teachers or Parents: Have an Epiphany pageant to close off the Christmas season and the twelve days of Christmas with the children of your church. Have people stationed in various parts of the home or church building where you might go to ask the question, "Are you the Messiah?" They will, of course, say, "No." The first group might add, "Look for the star." Involve as many children as possible. Let them ask the question. Let them get into the role of wise men from the East. Help them relive the story and see that Jesus is more than king of the Jews or king of

Special Occasion

Wildcard SSL