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How Not To Throw A Party

Sermon
Come As You Are
Sermons On The Lord's Supper
When I prepare a sermon, I usually begin by reading the assigned Bible passage for that day, often in several translations. Then I free associate, writing down, as fast as I can, my thoughts about the passage as they come. Next I consult commentaries, the writings of learned Bible scholars, about the verses in question. I did all those things as groundwork for today's sermon.

But, I also consulted Emily Post. Not the actual Emily Post, the Baltimore-born socialite who used to summer on Martha's Vineyard. America's "First Lady of Etiquette" died about forty years ago. But I did consult the twelfth edition of Emily Post's Etiquette. Luke 14 focuses on etiquette for guests and hosts at dinner parties. I thought I should see what the original "Miss Manners" had to say on that subject.

I uncovered a lot while browsing through Emily Post's Etiquette (Funk and Wagnalls, 1969). I learned to kneel, kiss his ring, and address him as "Your Holiness" when having a private audience with the Pope. I learned replies to lunch invitations to the White House must always be handwritten and always returned that same day -- and the answer is always, "Yes." I learned maid's uniforms, including cuffs and collars, are supplied by the employer. But the cook's uniforms, except for his aprons, are not.


Emily Post was very specific about planning formal dinners. Seating charts were included showing which seats the guests of honor should get. Who's seated next to whom is also important. Emily writes: "Silly people should never be put anywhere near learned ones, nor the dull near the clever, unless the dull one is a young and pretty woman with a talent for listening, and the clever one is a man with an admiration for beauty and a love of talking" (p. 164).

Emily Post sums it up: "The requisites for a perfect formal dinner ... are ... Guests who are congenial, Servants who are competent, A lovely table setting -- Food that is perfectly prepared ... A cordial and hospitable host and a charming hostess" (and a good seating chart). "How to throw a party," a la Emily Post.

But, there are other kinds of parties. And there is another source we can turn to on how to throw a perfect party. That source is older even than Emily Post, who started writing about etiquette in 1922. The source is Scripture. And the "etiquette expert" is Jesus himself.

Jesus gives guidance on party protocol while attending a formal dinner. His host, though unnamed, was someone of importance. We can be sure that all the "right" people were there: Mr. Law, Mr. Rich, Mr. Goodland, and Mr. Stocksan Bonds were present and accounted for. Each, of course, was seated in accordance with his or her rank.

Maybe it was just as they were about to pass around the kosher caviar that Jesus dropped a bombshell. Jesus looked around the table, saw who was there -- and who was missing --and started to criticize his host -- in front of his guests!

"When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, in case they may invite you in return, and you would be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind. And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you, for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous" (Luke 14:12b-14, NRSV).

We can imagine the twitter around the table at Jesus' cutting comments: "Who does he think he is, Rabbi Nobody from Nowhere Nazareth? Anyone can clearly see he's N.O.K.D. (Not Our Kind, Dear). Who died and made him King?"

You see, the guests at that table were comfortable in a world that many of us live in: a world where rank has its privileges; where the first will always be first, and the last will always be last; a world where people (sometimes including you and me) struggle to elbow themselves upward; where image, titles, and honors count; where "networking" with the rich and powerful is a wise thing to do. Jesus would call that world the world of upward mobility, the world of "Me First," "The Kingdom of this World."

What Jesus offers instead is the vision of a new world. He calls that New Creation "The Kingdom of God." It was that new "Kingdom" that Jesus talked about more than anything, lived for, and died for. God's Kingdom includes banquets, too. But God's Banquet Feast will be different from any dinner party you or I will ever attend. Martin Copenhaver, Pastor of the Wellesley Congregational Church, offers a vision of what God's Banquet Feast might be like:

When God is throwing a party, you never know who will be there or whom you will sit next to. The financier will be seated next to the panhandler he always passed on his way to work. The store owner will be next to the person he just fired, and the doctor will be put next to the woman who just sued him for malpractice. Rush Limbaugh may be beside the single mother on welfare. Jerry Falwell may have to strike up a conversation with a gay rights activist.

Yes, all the "right" people will be there -- that is everyone who responds to (God's) invitation ... and seated next to the host (Jesus) in the places of honor are not the dignitaries, the celebrities, the distinguished people of position and prominence, but rather the poor, the hurting, the outcast -- people who have distinguished themselves only by their need." (Library of Distinctive Sermons, vol. 2, Multnomah Press, p. 48)


I might add to Copenhaver's vision that at that Banquet Feast, everyone will get along famously. And that at that Banquet Feast, you and I may well find ourselves seated next to, and engaging in conversation with, people we presently can't stand (or who can't stand us). But the old anger, hurt, and grudges will be gone, and reconciliation will come.

At God's Table, the barriers that keep people apart -- rich/poor, upperclass/lowerclass, black/white, Republican/Democrat, gay/straight, friend/foe, the dividing walls of hostility will come smashing down. The crash will be greater than the fall of the Berlin Wall. God's Banquet Feast will be the greatest party ever!

How can you and I get an invitation to a party like that? We already have one, issued by Jesus himself. That invitation is scattered throughout Scripture. Most of us have heard it most of our lives: "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28, RSV); "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me shall not hunger, and he who believes in me shall never thirst" (John 6:35, RSV). "Blessed are they who hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled" (Matthew 5:6, KJV).

Again and again in Scripture, Jesus offers us invitations: "Come to me, come to my Banquet Feast, and find yourselves restored, rested, and refreshed. But how seriously have we taken his invitation? Are we living in the Kingdom of God or in the Kingdom of this World? If our primary concern is "Me First" and "Looking Out for Number One," we're still living in the Kingdom of this World.

Honestly, I'd have to confess that the Kingdom of this World gets more than its fair share of my allegiance. What about you? Are you living in the Kingdom of this World or in the Kingdom of God? Where, long term, do you want to live?

The Kingdom of this World is familiar, powerful, and alluring. But every now and then, I have to tell you, I catch a glimpse of that Kingdom of God. For the Kingdom of God is both coming in Heaven and already here on earth. And, when I catch a glimpse of that Kingdom, I get excited. It looks good. I want more.

Last Sunday I think I caught a glimpse of The Kingdom of God. Once again we hosted a Day of Hospitality for guests from the NOAH Shelter in Hyannis. Twenty-two people, equally divided between churchmembers and guests, had a picnic on our lawn. It was a perfect afternoon: blue sky, lots of sun, but not too warm. The hot dogs and hamburgers were just the way I remembered them as a child, when my goal was to wolf down as many as I could (before I got sick). The Ice Cream Smuggler sent over ice cream. One of our guests said it was the best ice cream she had ever eaten.

We played games: croquet, the game of Kings and Queens, lawn bowling, Frisbee, and relay races. I ran a foot race against a ten-year-old, and lost! I never would have run against her had I known how fast she was! The music was loud. The teenagers were rowdy. A lady, reading her paper at the Village Green, threatened to call the police. Fortunately she changed her mind. One of our guests seemed a bit depressed. We learned it was his birthday. No one was celebrating. He perked up when we brought him cake and sang "Happy Birthday." Some of the volunteers had rushed through the church trying to locate a birthday candle. They tore apart the upstairs and downstairs kitchens. No candle. Finally, someone said, "Well, at least we can put a match on the cake." They found a box of stick matches. In it was a birthday candle.

The guest perked up even more when everyone complimented him on the music played on the boom box. He really started to shine when he proved to be the fastest runner! When he left, he smiled and said it had been a good day.

One guest, only a teenager herself, showed us pictures of her baby. Because she didn't think some of the women of the church believed she was a mother, she showed them her stretch marks, too! Another guest took me aside before leaving. He said he wanted to make a contribution to the Day of Hospitality. I watched him as he picked through the meager wad of bills in his pocket. It was mostly ones, probably everything he owned. I was stunned and shocked and moved when he pulled out a twenty-dollar bill, and gave it to me to give to the church!

Was last Sunday's party a party Emily Post would have approved of? Maybe not. Loud, rowdy, disorganized, the police almost called, stretch marks disclosed, a mixture of people, plastic-ware and styrofoam cups instead of silver and crystal. No one of any particular prominence. Just 22 children of God. Emily Post might have said that was how not to throw a party.

But, I think it was a wonderful glimpse of The Kingdom of God -- the Kingdom of God which is coming; the Kingdom of God which is already here, if we only have eyes to see. Thanks to Jesus Christ, you and I already have a place guaranteed at his Banquet table. Thanks to Jesus Christ, we don't have to worry or push or shove to get in. We have to only believe.

We celebrate that coming Banquet Feast every time we come together for Our Lord's Supper. We are the (spiritually) poor, crippled, lame, and blind that Christ calls to himself. Our place is assured. So, can we live in this world in such a way that we support the Kingdom of God when we see it? Can we even help God bring it to others?

"When you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind ... because they cannot repay you" (Luke 14:13, NRSV). And you will be blessed.
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