INYERFACE With The Baptizer
Drama
Thespian Theology
Advent, Christmas, Epiphany
Thespian Theological Thoughts
Very often, John the Baptizer is portrayed as a loud, abrasive, in-your-face kind of guy -- and when he confronted the hypocrites, he probably was loud and abrasive and in-your-face.
But what if there had been electronic mass media in John's day? And what if a Larry King had invited John to be on his show? Isn't it at least possible that John would have delivered God's message with a little of that wild honey on his tongue?
I don't know. What do you think?
The passage from Baruch 5 which closes this play is a lovely and heartening portrait of God's assurance to his people. Baruch, like much of the so-called Apocrypha, is wonderful literature. It's a shame that those of us in non-Catholic churches don't hear it more often.
Cast
Irving Inyerface
John The Baptizer
Props/Costumes
Table
Irving -- sign: "INYERFACE -- Live!"
John -- camel's hair coat
(Irving Inyerface sits at a table; sign on table says: "INYERFACE -- Live!")
Irving: Good evening! I'm Irving Inyerface. My guest tonight on INYERFACE -- Live! is a man who has caused quite a stir out in the wilderness of Judea. So much, in fact, that people are flocking to him by the thousands! He refers to himself as "The voice of one crying in the wilderness: 'Prepare the way of the Lord!' " He eats locusts (oorg!) and wild honey, and he wears a coat of camel's hair. He is, to say the least, a rather unconventional man. We wanted to find out what makes him tick, so we invited him to INYERFACE -- Live! ... and whattayaknow? He accepted our invitation. Here he is: John the Baptist!
(John the Baptizer enters and sits down at the table)
John: Actually, it's John the Baptizer. I don't want to get caught up in that denominational thing.
Irving: Okay, John the Baptizer. Let's get right to it: What's all this stuff about filling up the valleys and bringing down the mountains and straightening out the crooked? Are you a real estate developer?
John: No, no, no. This is sublimely beautiful poetry from the prophet Isaiah.
Irving: I don't understand poetry, John. What's the meaning of all this claptrap?
John: It's not claptrap! Seven hundred years ago, Isaiah prophesied the deliverance of Israel from captivity in Babylon. His beautiful poetry is an ecstasy of joy, as he sees the end of the long, dark night of exile.
Irving: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Enough of the literary criticism, already! What's with all the earth-moving and road-straightening here, John?
John: This is simply a call for Israel to clear the path for the visit of the King --
Irving: What king?
John: The King of kings and Lord of lords.
Irving: You mean ... God?
John: None other!
Irving: So, let me get this straight, John: You're saying that God himself is coming?
John: That's exactly what I'm saying.
Irving: Whoa, dude! That's a prize-winning news story, if ever I heard one! Either that, or it's the mother of all sucker tricks. How do I know this is the real deal here, John? You know, we've had lots of so-called prophets -- some of 'em even weirder than you -- and they all told us that they were speaking on behalf of God. What makes you and your "poetry" so all-fired special?
John: Come down to the Jordan River and see for yourself.
Irving: Oh, no. I don't do man-in-the-street interviews, John. I'm strictly a studio guy. So why don't you just tell me: What's goin' on down by the river? I hear that you're dunkin' people in the Jordan, John. What are you, some kind of sanitation engineer?
John: What's going on down by the river is that people are hearing God speak to them about repentance --
Irving: What's "repentance" got to do with it?
John: Repentance is the key to preparing the way of the Lord, Irving: You need to repent of your sins and change your life, so that you'll be ready for the King.
Irving: And dunkin' my body in that muddy ol' river is gonna do that for me?
John: Not exactly. Baptism -- or "dunkin' " as you call it -- is just a symbolic washing away of the sins that separate you from God. What really happens is that you decide to make a change in your life: to turn away -- repent -- from sin.
Irving: You keep talkin' about "sin," John. Do you mean like murder or rape or armed robbery -- stuff like that?
John: Those are sins, but so is anything you do -- or anything you fail to do --Êwhich separates you from our holy and righteous God. God will not look upon sin!
Irving: Whoa, man -- that's harsh! If I'm hearing you correctly, you're saying that any little thing I do that's not what God wants me to do ... separates me from God?
John: Yup. And there's no such thing as a "little" sin, Irv. Sin is sin, and God makes no distinctions among sins.
Irving: I can't live up to a standard like that -- and neither can anybody else, John ... even you!
John: Of course we can't. But we can ask God to help us.
Irving: Okay. So let's assume that I decide to do this life-changing thing, John. And let's assume I let you dunk -- er, I mean baptize -- me in that muddy ol' river. And let's assume that I ask God to help me keep away from sin. And let's assume that God agrees to do that. What's in it for me?
John: How about ... eternal life: Does that sound good to you, Irv?
Irving: Ya mean if I get dunked I'm gonna live forever?
Irving: No, your body will die some day --
Irving: Ah! There's a catch: I knew it!
John: -- but your spirit will live forever with God. "Jerusalem, take off your clothes you have worn in your mourning and distress, and put on the eternal splendor of God's glory. Put around you the cloak of God's righteousness. Place on your head the crown of the glory of the Eternal God. God will show your splendor to every nation on earth. Forever he will say to you: 'Your security comes from your righteousness, and your splendor from your devotion to me.' "
Irving: Hmmmmm ... sounds pretty good!
John: It's better than pretty good, Irv -- it's God's best for you! (Stands up) Come on down to the river!
Irving: This is Irving Inyerface, signing off. See ya down by the river!
(John and Irving exit together)
Very often, John the Baptizer is portrayed as a loud, abrasive, in-your-face kind of guy -- and when he confronted the hypocrites, he probably was loud and abrasive and in-your-face.
But what if there had been electronic mass media in John's day? And what if a Larry King had invited John to be on his show? Isn't it at least possible that John would have delivered God's message with a little of that wild honey on his tongue?
I don't know. What do you think?
The passage from Baruch 5 which closes this play is a lovely and heartening portrait of God's assurance to his people. Baruch, like much of the so-called Apocrypha, is wonderful literature. It's a shame that those of us in non-Catholic churches don't hear it more often.
Cast
Irving Inyerface
John The Baptizer
Props/Costumes
Table
Irving -- sign: "INYERFACE -- Live!"
John -- camel's hair coat
(Irving Inyerface sits at a table; sign on table says: "INYERFACE -- Live!")
Irving: Good evening! I'm Irving Inyerface. My guest tonight on INYERFACE -- Live! is a man who has caused quite a stir out in the wilderness of Judea. So much, in fact, that people are flocking to him by the thousands! He refers to himself as "The voice of one crying in the wilderness: 'Prepare the way of the Lord!' " He eats locusts (oorg!) and wild honey, and he wears a coat of camel's hair. He is, to say the least, a rather unconventional man. We wanted to find out what makes him tick, so we invited him to INYERFACE -- Live! ... and whattayaknow? He accepted our invitation. Here he is: John the Baptist!
(John the Baptizer enters and sits down at the table)
John: Actually, it's John the Baptizer. I don't want to get caught up in that denominational thing.
Irving: Okay, John the Baptizer. Let's get right to it: What's all this stuff about filling up the valleys and bringing down the mountains and straightening out the crooked? Are you a real estate developer?
John: No, no, no. This is sublimely beautiful poetry from the prophet Isaiah.
Irving: I don't understand poetry, John. What's the meaning of all this claptrap?
John: It's not claptrap! Seven hundred years ago, Isaiah prophesied the deliverance of Israel from captivity in Babylon. His beautiful poetry is an ecstasy of joy, as he sees the end of the long, dark night of exile.
Irving: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Enough of the literary criticism, already! What's with all the earth-moving and road-straightening here, John?
John: This is simply a call for Israel to clear the path for the visit of the King --
Irving: What king?
John: The King of kings and Lord of lords.
Irving: You mean ... God?
John: None other!
Irving: So, let me get this straight, John: You're saying that God himself is coming?
John: That's exactly what I'm saying.
Irving: Whoa, dude! That's a prize-winning news story, if ever I heard one! Either that, or it's the mother of all sucker tricks. How do I know this is the real deal here, John? You know, we've had lots of so-called prophets -- some of 'em even weirder than you -- and they all told us that they were speaking on behalf of God. What makes you and your "poetry" so all-fired special?
John: Come down to the Jordan River and see for yourself.
Irving: Oh, no. I don't do man-in-the-street interviews, John. I'm strictly a studio guy. So why don't you just tell me: What's goin' on down by the river? I hear that you're dunkin' people in the Jordan, John. What are you, some kind of sanitation engineer?
John: What's going on down by the river is that people are hearing God speak to them about repentance --
Irving: What's "repentance" got to do with it?
John: Repentance is the key to preparing the way of the Lord, Irving: You need to repent of your sins and change your life, so that you'll be ready for the King.
Irving: And dunkin' my body in that muddy ol' river is gonna do that for me?
John: Not exactly. Baptism -- or "dunkin' " as you call it -- is just a symbolic washing away of the sins that separate you from God. What really happens is that you decide to make a change in your life: to turn away -- repent -- from sin.
Irving: You keep talkin' about "sin," John. Do you mean like murder or rape or armed robbery -- stuff like that?
John: Those are sins, but so is anything you do -- or anything you fail to do --Êwhich separates you from our holy and righteous God. God will not look upon sin!
Irving: Whoa, man -- that's harsh! If I'm hearing you correctly, you're saying that any little thing I do that's not what God wants me to do ... separates me from God?
John: Yup. And there's no such thing as a "little" sin, Irv. Sin is sin, and God makes no distinctions among sins.
Irving: I can't live up to a standard like that -- and neither can anybody else, John ... even you!
John: Of course we can't. But we can ask God to help us.
Irving: Okay. So let's assume that I decide to do this life-changing thing, John. And let's assume I let you dunk -- er, I mean baptize -- me in that muddy ol' river. And let's assume that I ask God to help me keep away from sin. And let's assume that God agrees to do that. What's in it for me?
John: How about ... eternal life: Does that sound good to you, Irv?
Irving: Ya mean if I get dunked I'm gonna live forever?
Irving: No, your body will die some day --
Irving: Ah! There's a catch: I knew it!
John: -- but your spirit will live forever with God. "Jerusalem, take off your clothes you have worn in your mourning and distress, and put on the eternal splendor of God's glory. Put around you the cloak of God's righteousness. Place on your head the crown of the glory of the Eternal God. God will show your splendor to every nation on earth. Forever he will say to you: 'Your security comes from your righteousness, and your splendor from your devotion to me.' "
Irving: Hmmmmm ... sounds pretty good!
John: It's better than pretty good, Irv -- it's God's best for you! (Stands up) Come on down to the river!
Irving: This is Irving Inyerface, signing off. See ya down by the river!
(John and Irving exit together)
