A Pizza With Everything
Drama
Thespian Theology
Advent, Christmas, Epiphany -- Cycle B
Thespian Theological Thoughts
"I truly understand that God shows no partiality."
Man, I gotta tell you that I'm glad he doesn't! If being a member of Christ's body were something like joining a country club or being part of a particular race, I wouldn't want anything to do with it.
But thank God that "there is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28).
And thank God that he used "A Pizza With Everything" to get Peter's attention on this matter!
Cast
Narrator
Peter
Roman Soldiers (3)
Voice of the Holy Spirit
Props/Costumes
Roman Soldiers -- helmets, toy rifles
Chair
(Narrator is at podium, stage left)
Narrator: It's a beautiful day in Joppa-by-the-sea. A light breeze stirs the trees and moves the boats gracefully through the cobalt sea. The air is livened by a gentle cacophony of the screeches of gulls and the piping of terns. (Peter enters stage right) And Simon Peter has just awakened from a midday nap.
Peter: Man! What was that all about?
Narrator: What ho, Peter?
Peter: I just had the strangest dream!
Narrator: Did you dream the world had all agreed to put an end to war, Peter?
Peter: Huh?
Narrator: Never mind. It's a twenty-first century thing. But tell us, Peter, what did you dream?
(Peter comes to center stage and sits down)
Peter: I saw heaven open up, and coming down was this huge thing, like a sheet. And in this thing were all kinds of animals and reptiles and birds. And I heard the Lord's voice saying, "Get up, Peter; kill and eat."
Narrator: So this thing you saw was kind of like a huge pizza with everything, huh?
Peter: A what?
Narrator: Sorry, Pete, another twenty-first century thing. Go on.
Peter: Well, I looked at all those critters that the Lord wanted me to eat, and I realized that none of it was kosher! So I said, "No way, Lord! Unclean and profane things have never passed through my lips. I'm an observant Jew."
Narrator: You are, Peter?
Peter: Well, most of the time! But I really have been faithful to our dietary laws. Anyway, now comes the strange part. Jesus answered me and said, "What God has made clean, you must not call profane." What's up with that?
Narrator: Maybe he was saying that you have to change some of your old ways of thinking, Peter.
Peter: Change again? Hey, following Jesus has meant nothing but change for me! I guess I have to do it, if he tells me to. But do you think this means I have to change everything about the way I live?
(Three Roman Soldiers enter stage left)
Soldier #1: Excuse me, I'm looking for Simon, who is called Peter. Is he staying here?
Peter: (To Narrator) Those guys are Romans. I got nothing to do with them, because they're Gentiles.
Voice of Holy Spirit: (Offstage) These men are searching for you, Peter.
Peter: (Looking around, puzzled) Yeah, but ...
Voice: No buts, Peter! Get up and go with them, without hesitation. I, the Lord, have sent them to you.
Peter: (Stands up) Here we go again. More ever-lovin' change.
Narrator: Who are you talking to, Peter?
Peter: The Holy Spirit. Didn't you hear the voice?
Narrator: (Stands up) I sure didn't, Peter, but if you heard the Holy Spirit, you'd better do what he tells you to do. (Returns to podium, stage left)
Peter: Yeah, I know. Sometimes it's kind of a drag, know-what'm-sayin'? (To Soldiers) I'm your man. What's up?
Soldier #2: We were sent here by Cornelius, a centurion.
Peter: Ugh, a Roman centurion! What have I to do with such a profane one?
Voice: What God has made clean, you must not call profane, Peter.
Peter: Oh, yeah. (To Soldiers) Who is this Cornelius, anyway?
Soldier #3: He is an upright and God-fearing man, who is well-spoken of by the whole Jewish nation.
Peter: Oh, really? How can a Gentile Roman be well-spoken of by my people? Who's foolin' whom here?
Voice: What God has made clean, you must not call profane. That's the third time, Peter. Have you gotten the message yet?
Peter: The message?
Voice: The message God sent to the people of Israel, preaching peace by Jesus Christ -- he is Lord of all.
Peter: But I thought that message was to the people of Israel -- not to unclean Gentiles!
Voice: Hello, Peter? He is Lord of all! What does "all" mean, Peter?
Peter: Hmmm ... I guess it means "all," huh?
Voice: And "all" includes Roman centurions, huh, Peter?
Peter: If you say so, Lord.
Voice: I say so, Peter.
Peter: (Hesitates and thinks ... then to Soldiers) I truly understand now that God shows no partiality, but in every nation anyone who worships God and does the right thing is acceptable to God.
All Soldiers: Tell that to Cornelius!
Peter: I intend to. Come along, my brothers!
(All exit stage left)
"I truly understand that God shows no partiality."
Man, I gotta tell you that I'm glad he doesn't! If being a member of Christ's body were something like joining a country club or being part of a particular race, I wouldn't want anything to do with it.
But thank God that "there is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28).
And thank God that he used "A Pizza With Everything" to get Peter's attention on this matter!
Cast
Narrator
Peter
Roman Soldiers (3)
Voice of the Holy Spirit
Props/Costumes
Roman Soldiers -- helmets, toy rifles
Chair
(Narrator is at podium, stage left)
Narrator: It's a beautiful day in Joppa-by-the-sea. A light breeze stirs the trees and moves the boats gracefully through the cobalt sea. The air is livened by a gentle cacophony of the screeches of gulls and the piping of terns. (Peter enters stage right) And Simon Peter has just awakened from a midday nap.
Peter: Man! What was that all about?
Narrator: What ho, Peter?
Peter: I just had the strangest dream!
Narrator: Did you dream the world had all agreed to put an end to war, Peter?
Peter: Huh?
Narrator: Never mind. It's a twenty-first century thing. But tell us, Peter, what did you dream?
(Peter comes to center stage and sits down)
Peter: I saw heaven open up, and coming down was this huge thing, like a sheet. And in this thing were all kinds of animals and reptiles and birds. And I heard the Lord's voice saying, "Get up, Peter; kill and eat."
Narrator: So this thing you saw was kind of like a huge pizza with everything, huh?
Peter: A what?
Narrator: Sorry, Pete, another twenty-first century thing. Go on.
Peter: Well, I looked at all those critters that the Lord wanted me to eat, and I realized that none of it was kosher! So I said, "No way, Lord! Unclean and profane things have never passed through my lips. I'm an observant Jew."
Narrator: You are, Peter?
Peter: Well, most of the time! But I really have been faithful to our dietary laws. Anyway, now comes the strange part. Jesus answered me and said, "What God has made clean, you must not call profane." What's up with that?
Narrator: Maybe he was saying that you have to change some of your old ways of thinking, Peter.
Peter: Change again? Hey, following Jesus has meant nothing but change for me! I guess I have to do it, if he tells me to. But do you think this means I have to change everything about the way I live?
(Three Roman Soldiers enter stage left)
Soldier #1: Excuse me, I'm looking for Simon, who is called Peter. Is he staying here?
Peter: (To Narrator) Those guys are Romans. I got nothing to do with them, because they're Gentiles.
Voice of Holy Spirit: (Offstage) These men are searching for you, Peter.
Peter: (Looking around, puzzled) Yeah, but ...
Voice: No buts, Peter! Get up and go with them, without hesitation. I, the Lord, have sent them to you.
Peter: (Stands up) Here we go again. More ever-lovin' change.
Narrator: Who are you talking to, Peter?
Peter: The Holy Spirit. Didn't you hear the voice?
Narrator: (Stands up) I sure didn't, Peter, but if you heard the Holy Spirit, you'd better do what he tells you to do. (Returns to podium, stage left)
Peter: Yeah, I know. Sometimes it's kind of a drag, know-what'm-sayin'? (To Soldiers) I'm your man. What's up?
Soldier #2: We were sent here by Cornelius, a centurion.
Peter: Ugh, a Roman centurion! What have I to do with such a profane one?
Voice: What God has made clean, you must not call profane, Peter.
Peter: Oh, yeah. (To Soldiers) Who is this Cornelius, anyway?
Soldier #3: He is an upright and God-fearing man, who is well-spoken of by the whole Jewish nation.
Peter: Oh, really? How can a Gentile Roman be well-spoken of by my people? Who's foolin' whom here?
Voice: What God has made clean, you must not call profane. That's the third time, Peter. Have you gotten the message yet?
Peter: The message?
Voice: The message God sent to the people of Israel, preaching peace by Jesus Christ -- he is Lord of all.
Peter: But I thought that message was to the people of Israel -- not to unclean Gentiles!
Voice: Hello, Peter? He is Lord of all! What does "all" mean, Peter?
Peter: Hmmm ... I guess it means "all," huh?
Voice: And "all" includes Roman centurions, huh, Peter?
Peter: If you say so, Lord.
Voice: I say so, Peter.
Peter: (Hesitates and thinks ... then to Soldiers) I truly understand now that God shows no partiality, but in every nation anyone who worships God and does the right thing is acceptable to God.
All Soldiers: Tell that to Cornelius!
Peter: I intend to. Come along, my brothers!
(All exit stage left)

