The Taste Of Music
Stories
Sharing Visions
Divine Revelations, Angels, And Holy Coincidences
The whole thing began when I was asked to be the song leader for a Walk to Emmaus retreat in 1988. I was a kindergarten teacher and sang in the choir, but no one had ever asked me to lead singing for adults, and I was amazed at having been chosen. I felt comfortable with the task. It didn't require a really good voice, as the singing was mostly used to gather people together after break time and as a time-filler if needed. I had a back-up guitarist who had a good voice, and I knew the leadership team could all sing, so I attended the training sessions and felt really happy and excited about the weekend. But when I arrived in Phoenix, I got sick. I had a stomachache, and it wouldn't go away. I ate Tums, I ate crackers, I sipped water ... I felt lousy. If I had been stressed, I could have blamed that, but I knew I wasn't stressed. At times I felt that there were two of me, one going through the motions of enthusiastically leading the singing, and the other watching me and wondering what I was doing since I was so sick. The retreat started Thursday night. By Saturday, I decided that if I wasn't better by Sunday, I would go to the hospital and see if I had an ulcer, instead of starting for home, 100 miles away.
Saturday night we had a Healing Service and I asked for forgiveness. The thought popped into my head that I needed to forgive my mother for not loving me. This was strange, because intellectually, I suppose I knew that my mother really did love me in her own way, although she was not demonstrative. Apparently I carried those feelings inside and needed to let go of them, because the minute I said that I needed to forgive her, I was healed.
I know that God was working in my life that weekend. I think I could say that I had an "infilling" of the Holy Spirit, although I didn't know what that phrase meant before that time. I do know that when we were ready to leave, those who were the participants in the Walk were asked to stand up at the last gathering and tell what the weekend had meant to them and what they were going to do about it. Though the leaders were not expected to say anything, I got up and said that my life had changed. Not only was my pastor there, my husband and eighteen members of my home church were, too. Most were en route to Mexico for a mission trip. My husband could see such a change in me that he wondered if I was okay to go home while he went to Mexico. I was. I had Jesus with me.
For several months afterwards, every time I closed my eyes, Jesus, with his arms outstretched, was imprinted on the inside of my eyelids. I also experienced great joy and odd sensations, such as being able to taste music. I could suddenly "play by ear" instead of just reading music. It was as though the barrier between the left side and the right side of my brain was broken down and the two sides were integrated somehow. I went from being a very organized left-brained person to being a person who couldn't remember what day it was! Fortunately, that didn't last for too long, and I feel a greater sense of wholeness now than was ever possible before. Another joy was that the scriptures were "opened" to me, so that what I read earlier as words became full of life and meaning. I truly love to read the scripture now and feel God's presence in new ways each time.
As I said, it was a strange weekend. After a year of Spiritual Direction, I felt that I was to leave teaching and go into ordained ministry. God had indeed blessed me in many ways.
Saturday night we had a Healing Service and I asked for forgiveness. The thought popped into my head that I needed to forgive my mother for not loving me. This was strange, because intellectually, I suppose I knew that my mother really did love me in her own way, although she was not demonstrative. Apparently I carried those feelings inside and needed to let go of them, because the minute I said that I needed to forgive her, I was healed.
I know that God was working in my life that weekend. I think I could say that I had an "infilling" of the Holy Spirit, although I didn't know what that phrase meant before that time. I do know that when we were ready to leave, those who were the participants in the Walk were asked to stand up at the last gathering and tell what the weekend had meant to them and what they were going to do about it. Though the leaders were not expected to say anything, I got up and said that my life had changed. Not only was my pastor there, my husband and eighteen members of my home church were, too. Most were en route to Mexico for a mission trip. My husband could see such a change in me that he wondered if I was okay to go home while he went to Mexico. I was. I had Jesus with me.
For several months afterwards, every time I closed my eyes, Jesus, with his arms outstretched, was imprinted on the inside of my eyelids. I also experienced great joy and odd sensations, such as being able to taste music. I could suddenly "play by ear" instead of just reading music. It was as though the barrier between the left side and the right side of my brain was broken down and the two sides were integrated somehow. I went from being a very organized left-brained person to being a person who couldn't remember what day it was! Fortunately, that didn't last for too long, and I feel a greater sense of wholeness now than was ever possible before. Another joy was that the scriptures were "opened" to me, so that what I read earlier as words became full of life and meaning. I truly love to read the scripture now and feel God's presence in new ways each time.
As I said, it was a strange weekend. After a year of Spiritual Direction, I felt that I was to leave teaching and go into ordained ministry. God had indeed blessed me in many ways.
