Waltzing With Coyotes
Drama
Lectionary Scenes
56 Vignettes For Cycle C
Theme
Loving your enemy is not as easy as it sounds.
Summary
Willie and Bart are friendly enemies who are both interested in a lovely young Indian princess named Li'l-Buttercup-Shines-In-The-Morning but cannot understand her Indian sign language. Along comes Chief Bull-Feathers-In-The-Campfire who has obviously been educated, not only in the English language but also in the Bible. Maybe the chief can get these two "ornery critters" to be quiet long enough to listen to his wisdom.
Playing Time
7 minutes
Setting
A small town in the Old West
Props
None
Costumes
Western and Indian
Time
The Old West
Cast
WILLIE -- an old cowhand
BART -- an old cowpuncher
LI'L-BUTTERCUP-SHINES-IN-THE-MORNING -- an Indian maiden who doesn't know any English but is always "speaking" in Indian sign language
CHIEF BULL-FEATHERS-IN-THE-CAMPFIRE -- a man educated at an eastern university and wise in the ways of the Lord
WILLIE: (ENTERS ALONG WITH BART. STANDING ON BART'S FOOT) This hare town haint big 'nough fer tha both o' us.
BART: Ah reckon ah knowed that. Yar a steppin' on ma toes. (SHOVING WILLIE OFF)
WILLIE: Yar a fixin' ta git yar face kicked in so fer yar a gonna sneeze outen that back a yar haid.
BART: Wale, now haint that sumthin'. Tha toad is a-thinkin' it's a baer. Ah warn't aknowin' that a toad could do nary a thang but sit in tha sun and eat skeeters.
WILLIE: Yar agonna find out that this toad has turned inta a scorpion. Ya better forgit ya ever laid eyes on Li'l-Buttercup-Shines-In-Tha-Mornin'. She's my gal.
BART: She is, huh? Li'l-Buttercup-Shines-In-Tha-Mornin' is my gal. Why did she tell me she was a-gonna up and git hitched ta me?
WILLIE: Ya been asuckin' on a loco weed.
BART: Yada wisht yada never hurd o' me when I turns ya loose. Ah'm jist like a bearcat whan ah'm riled. And ah'm gittin' mighty riled.
WILLIE: Ah'm ashakin' in ma boots. Why don't ya gist jump inta yar boot and than stick yar stinkin' foot in on top of yaself and dance a li'l jig on yar haid?
BART: Yar makin' me real mad like. (LI'L-BUTTERCUP-SHINES-IN-THE-MORNING ENTERS, TRYING TO COMMUNICATE BY MAKING INDIAN SIGN LANGUAGE)
WILLIE: Hare come ma See-oox princess now.
BART: What did you say?
WILLIE: I said: Hare comes ma See-oox princess now.
BART: (LAUGHING) Wall, I niver.
WILLIE: You musta.
BART: I niver haird anythin' so funny.
WILLIE: What? What's so funny?
BART: She haint no See-oox. She's a Soo.
WILLIE: A Soo? Naw, she haint. Her name be Li'l-Buttercup-Shines-In-Tha-Mornin'. Thet's who she is. But she haint no Soo. I knowed it. We'll jist see who she takes ashine ta.
BART: Yup. I reckon we wail.
BUTTERCUP: (ALWAYS USES SIGN LANGUAGE WHEN SHE SPEAKS BUT THE SIGNS DON'T MATCH WHAT THE BOYS THINK SHE IS SAYING) Hiya.
WILLIE: Ah knewed it. I reckon she's ahankerin' fer me.
BART: Didn't she up an say "Hiya, Hiya" to me?
WILLIE: Dad burnit, she haint even alookin' at ya. She's alookin' at me.
BART: Ya horny toad face, do I have ta kick ya outa town?
WILLIE: Shut yar big overgrown hog jowls. She's agonna say sumpin'.
BUTTERCUP: Mina wanka.
WILLIE: She's awantin' me. Ya heard her, she's awantin' me.
BART: She was atalkin' ta me.
WILLIE: Why d'ya havta butt into everthin'?
BART: Ah'm atellin' ya, she was atalkin' ta me.
BUTTERCUP: (TALKING IN INDIAN SIGN LANGUAGE)
BART: She's amakin' signs.
WILLIE: She's adoin' that all tha live long day. It most near drives me loco.
BART: Yar plumb loco anyways.
WILLIE: I gist wisht I could wring yar scrawny nick.
BART: It'ud take a bigger man than you.
WILLIE: We'll jist see bouten that. (GRABS HIS NECK AND BEGINS TO WRING IT)
BART: What're ye adoin'?
WILLIE: I'm achoking yar scrawny nick 'til yar haid pops plumb off.
BART: Oh, wahl, tarnation. That's whet ye were adoin'. I should aknowed it. I thought I felt a li'l somthin' on ma nick. But I thought it were a flea.
WILLIE: A li'l somthin'! Ya most nearly fainted dead away. Why, ya haint looked that sickly since ya found that skunk in yar long johns.
BART: By gum, I see it were you on ma nick. I was right it were a flea.
WILLIE: By tha smell o' ya, ya still got thet skunk in yar long johns. (LI'L BUTTERCUP-SHINES-IN-THE-MORNING BECOMES FRANTIC)
BART: Li'l Buttercup-Shines-In-The-Mornin' is acalling ta me. She's awantin' to tie that knot real soon, I'm abettin'. (LI'L BUTTERCUP WHISPERS SOMETHING IN BART'S EAR AND MAKES FRANTIC MOTIONS)
WILLIE: This is amakin' me riled up fer sure. Stop it. Whet's she atellin' ya?
BART: She's a sayin' somethin' bout "Tika meeta."
BUTTERCUP: Tika meeta! Tika meeta!
WILLIE: "Tika meeta." Whet in blue blazes is "Tika meeta"?
BART: It's a plain as tha ugly honker on yar face.
WILLIE: Well, whet than?
BART: "Tika meeta" means "take me." She wants me to hitch up with her -- now!
WILLIE: It does not!
BART: Anyone with a lick of horse sense knows whet "Tika meeta" means. It means "take me away from this place.' She wants me to take her away from that likes o' yo.
WILLIE: The likes o' you, morin likely, I reckon.
BART: She's a strong hankerin' fer me, thet's whet.
WILLIE: Wait just a minute.
BART: Whet fer?
WILLIE: Jist lookee thet. Lookat thet. It's the Injun chief, chief Bull-Feathers-In-The-Campfire. He'll tell us whet Li'l-Buttercup-Shines-In-The-Mornin' is amakin' signs about. (CHIEF BULL-FEATHERS-IN-THE-CAMPFIRE ENTERS)
WILLIE: How!
BART: How!
CHIEF: Will you two gentlemen kindly state your meaning?
WILLIE: How, Chief?
BART: Yup, like he's saying, how, Chief.
CHIEF: Is there a question you wish to ask me?
BART: I want ta know what it is she's asayin'.
WILLIE: I knowed she has a hankerin' fer me.
BART: Weel jist see 'bout thet.
WILLIE: Ya bet we weel.
CHIEF: Well, Gentlemen, give me a minute, if you would please. (CHIEF WATCHES LI'L BUTTERCUP AS SHE IS FRANTICALLY MAKING SIGNS) I see. It becomes very clear now.
BART: Weel, whet is it?
WILLIE: Tell us.
CHIEF: Something about coyotes. And a dance. No, no. It's Waltzing-With-Coyotes!
WILLIE: Waltzin'?
BART: With coyotes?
CHIEF: It seems, gentlemen, that she is talking about Waltzing-With-Coyotes. Whatever that means.
BART: Waltzing-With-Coyotes?
WILLIE: Waltzing-With-Coyotes?
CHIEF: Gentlemen, she is saying that she wants you two to go to the dance tonight at the church. It's the annual Waltzing-With-Coyotes dance and ice cream social.
WILLIE: Whet's a Waltzing-With-Coyotes dance?
BART: I hain't adancin' with no coyotes, thet's fer sure.
WILLIE: I danced away from a dawg wonct. He was atryin' to bite me.
BART: You air a dawg, so thet come natural.
WILLIE: Weel, you got breath liken a dawg. You could knock me down with it.
BART: I didn't know ya got up from the last time I knocked you down.
WILLIE: Thet's cuz yere blind in both eyes from my a hitten' on ya.
CHIEF: Gentlemen, please, may I interject something?
BART: I reckon.
WILLIE: Go ahead.
CHIEF: Gentlemen, why don't you go to the dance?
WILLIE: Why not?
BART: I'll tell ya why not -- I hate dancin'. I hate church. And I hate him. (POINTING TO WILLIE)
WILLIE: Ma feelin's the same as his'n.
BART: She's ahankerin' fer me. I knowed it.
WILLIE: No she haint.
BART: I oughta know.
WILLIE: Ya oughta but ya don't.
CHIEF: Gentlemen, the Bible says to love your enemies.
WILLIE: I forgot another hate. I hate the Bible.
BART: Likewise.
CHIEF: Gentlemen, Li'l Buttercup-Shines-In-The-Mornin' lives by the Bible.
WILLIE: She do?
BART: I din't know thet.
CHIEF: Well, it's true. And if you want to get to know her you'll have to go to church.
WILLIE: Ah'm athinkin' ah'm agoin' to git religion.
BART: Ah'm agoin' to git it faster then you kin, ah'm abettin'.
WILLIE: No you haint.
BART: Why, you mangy varmit. I oughta blast yo foot.
WILLIE: If yo did yo'd miss.
CHIEF: Love, gentlemen, love. Love is the thing that will win the heart of L'il Buttercup-Shines-In-The-Mornin'. She loves the Bible and the Bible says love your enemies. Do good to those that hate you. Bless those who curse you. (BART AND WILLIE PUT THEIR ARMS AROUND EACH OTHER)
BART: Ah'm agonna do yo some good 'cause ah hate yo so much.
WILLIE: Ah'm gonna curse yo 'cause yo blessed me.
CHIEF: No, no, turn that around. (WILLIE AND BART TURN AROUND TOGETHER) No, no, turn the phrase around. Bless them that curse you.
WILLIE: Oh, ah git it. Ah'm agonna bless you 'cause yo cursed at me.
CHIEF: Love, gentlemen, love.
WILLIE: Look, yo flea-bitten polecat. I love yo -- bettern yo love me.
BART: No, yo don't -- I love yo better, yo lousy, cockeyed whopper jawed critter. (THEY BOTH EXIT ARM IN ARM FOLLOWED BY THE CHIEF AND LI'L BUTTERCUP)
Loving your enemy is not as easy as it sounds.
Summary
Willie and Bart are friendly enemies who are both interested in a lovely young Indian princess named Li'l-Buttercup-Shines-In-The-Morning but cannot understand her Indian sign language. Along comes Chief Bull-Feathers-In-The-Campfire who has obviously been educated, not only in the English language but also in the Bible. Maybe the chief can get these two "ornery critters" to be quiet long enough to listen to his wisdom.
Playing Time
7 minutes
Setting
A small town in the Old West
Props
None
Costumes
Western and Indian
Time
The Old West
Cast
WILLIE -- an old cowhand
BART -- an old cowpuncher
LI'L-BUTTERCUP-SHINES-IN-THE-MORNING -- an Indian maiden who doesn't know any English but is always "speaking" in Indian sign language
CHIEF BULL-FEATHERS-IN-THE-CAMPFIRE -- a man educated at an eastern university and wise in the ways of the Lord
WILLIE: (ENTERS ALONG WITH BART. STANDING ON BART'S FOOT) This hare town haint big 'nough fer tha both o' us.
BART: Ah reckon ah knowed that. Yar a steppin' on ma toes. (SHOVING WILLIE OFF)
WILLIE: Yar a fixin' ta git yar face kicked in so fer yar a gonna sneeze outen that back a yar haid.
BART: Wale, now haint that sumthin'. Tha toad is a-thinkin' it's a baer. Ah warn't aknowin' that a toad could do nary a thang but sit in tha sun and eat skeeters.
WILLIE: Yar agonna find out that this toad has turned inta a scorpion. Ya better forgit ya ever laid eyes on Li'l-Buttercup-Shines-In-Tha-Mornin'. She's my gal.
BART: She is, huh? Li'l-Buttercup-Shines-In-Tha-Mornin' is my gal. Why did she tell me she was a-gonna up and git hitched ta me?
WILLIE: Ya been asuckin' on a loco weed.
BART: Yada wisht yada never hurd o' me when I turns ya loose. Ah'm jist like a bearcat whan ah'm riled. And ah'm gittin' mighty riled.
WILLIE: Ah'm ashakin' in ma boots. Why don't ya gist jump inta yar boot and than stick yar stinkin' foot in on top of yaself and dance a li'l jig on yar haid?
BART: Yar makin' me real mad like. (LI'L-BUTTERCUP-SHINES-IN-THE-MORNING ENTERS, TRYING TO COMMUNICATE BY MAKING INDIAN SIGN LANGUAGE)
WILLIE: Hare come ma See-oox princess now.
BART: What did you say?
WILLIE: I said: Hare comes ma See-oox princess now.
BART: (LAUGHING) Wall, I niver.
WILLIE: You musta.
BART: I niver haird anythin' so funny.
WILLIE: What? What's so funny?
BART: She haint no See-oox. She's a Soo.
WILLIE: A Soo? Naw, she haint. Her name be Li'l-Buttercup-Shines-In-Tha-Mornin'. Thet's who she is. But she haint no Soo. I knowed it. We'll jist see who she takes ashine ta.
BART: Yup. I reckon we wail.
BUTTERCUP: (ALWAYS USES SIGN LANGUAGE WHEN SHE SPEAKS BUT THE SIGNS DON'T MATCH WHAT THE BOYS THINK SHE IS SAYING) Hiya.
WILLIE: Ah knewed it. I reckon she's ahankerin' fer me.
BART: Didn't she up an say "Hiya, Hiya" to me?
WILLIE: Dad burnit, she haint even alookin' at ya. She's alookin' at me.
BART: Ya horny toad face, do I have ta kick ya outa town?
WILLIE: Shut yar big overgrown hog jowls. She's agonna say sumpin'.
BUTTERCUP: Mina wanka.
WILLIE: She's awantin' me. Ya heard her, she's awantin' me.
BART: She was atalkin' ta me.
WILLIE: Why d'ya havta butt into everthin'?
BART: Ah'm atellin' ya, she was atalkin' ta me.
BUTTERCUP: (TALKING IN INDIAN SIGN LANGUAGE)
BART: She's amakin' signs.
WILLIE: She's adoin' that all tha live long day. It most near drives me loco.
BART: Yar plumb loco anyways.
WILLIE: I gist wisht I could wring yar scrawny nick.
BART: It'ud take a bigger man than you.
WILLIE: We'll jist see bouten that. (GRABS HIS NECK AND BEGINS TO WRING IT)
BART: What're ye adoin'?
WILLIE: I'm achoking yar scrawny nick 'til yar haid pops plumb off.
BART: Oh, wahl, tarnation. That's whet ye were adoin'. I should aknowed it. I thought I felt a li'l somthin' on ma nick. But I thought it were a flea.
WILLIE: A li'l somthin'! Ya most nearly fainted dead away. Why, ya haint looked that sickly since ya found that skunk in yar long johns.
BART: By gum, I see it were you on ma nick. I was right it were a flea.
WILLIE: By tha smell o' ya, ya still got thet skunk in yar long johns. (LI'L BUTTERCUP-SHINES-IN-THE-MORNING BECOMES FRANTIC)
BART: Li'l Buttercup-Shines-In-The-Mornin' is acalling ta me. She's awantin' to tie that knot real soon, I'm abettin'. (LI'L BUTTERCUP WHISPERS SOMETHING IN BART'S EAR AND MAKES FRANTIC MOTIONS)
WILLIE: This is amakin' me riled up fer sure. Stop it. Whet's she atellin' ya?
BART: She's a sayin' somethin' bout "Tika meeta."
BUTTERCUP: Tika meeta! Tika meeta!
WILLIE: "Tika meeta." Whet in blue blazes is "Tika meeta"?
BART: It's a plain as tha ugly honker on yar face.
WILLIE: Well, whet than?
BART: "Tika meeta" means "take me." She wants me to hitch up with her -- now!
WILLIE: It does not!
BART: Anyone with a lick of horse sense knows whet "Tika meeta" means. It means "take me away from this place.' She wants me to take her away from that likes o' yo.
WILLIE: The likes o' you, morin likely, I reckon.
BART: She's a strong hankerin' fer me, thet's whet.
WILLIE: Wait just a minute.
BART: Whet fer?
WILLIE: Jist lookee thet. Lookat thet. It's the Injun chief, chief Bull-Feathers-In-The-Campfire. He'll tell us whet Li'l-Buttercup-Shines-In-The-Mornin' is amakin' signs about. (CHIEF BULL-FEATHERS-IN-THE-CAMPFIRE ENTERS)
WILLIE: How!
BART: How!
CHIEF: Will you two gentlemen kindly state your meaning?
WILLIE: How, Chief?
BART: Yup, like he's saying, how, Chief.
CHIEF: Is there a question you wish to ask me?
BART: I want ta know what it is she's asayin'.
WILLIE: I knowed she has a hankerin' fer me.
BART: Weel jist see 'bout thet.
WILLIE: Ya bet we weel.
CHIEF: Well, Gentlemen, give me a minute, if you would please. (CHIEF WATCHES LI'L BUTTERCUP AS SHE IS FRANTICALLY MAKING SIGNS) I see. It becomes very clear now.
BART: Weel, whet is it?
WILLIE: Tell us.
CHIEF: Something about coyotes. And a dance. No, no. It's Waltzing-With-Coyotes!
WILLIE: Waltzin'?
BART: With coyotes?
CHIEF: It seems, gentlemen, that she is talking about Waltzing-With-Coyotes. Whatever that means.
BART: Waltzing-With-Coyotes?
WILLIE: Waltzing-With-Coyotes?
CHIEF: Gentlemen, she is saying that she wants you two to go to the dance tonight at the church. It's the annual Waltzing-With-Coyotes dance and ice cream social.
WILLIE: Whet's a Waltzing-With-Coyotes dance?
BART: I hain't adancin' with no coyotes, thet's fer sure.
WILLIE: I danced away from a dawg wonct. He was atryin' to bite me.
BART: You air a dawg, so thet come natural.
WILLIE: Weel, you got breath liken a dawg. You could knock me down with it.
BART: I didn't know ya got up from the last time I knocked you down.
WILLIE: Thet's cuz yere blind in both eyes from my a hitten' on ya.
CHIEF: Gentlemen, please, may I interject something?
BART: I reckon.
WILLIE: Go ahead.
CHIEF: Gentlemen, why don't you go to the dance?
WILLIE: Why not?
BART: I'll tell ya why not -- I hate dancin'. I hate church. And I hate him. (POINTING TO WILLIE)
WILLIE: Ma feelin's the same as his'n.
BART: She's ahankerin' fer me. I knowed it.
WILLIE: No she haint.
BART: I oughta know.
WILLIE: Ya oughta but ya don't.
CHIEF: Gentlemen, the Bible says to love your enemies.
WILLIE: I forgot another hate. I hate the Bible.
BART: Likewise.
CHIEF: Gentlemen, Li'l Buttercup-Shines-In-The-Mornin' lives by the Bible.
WILLIE: She do?
BART: I din't know thet.
CHIEF: Well, it's true. And if you want to get to know her you'll have to go to church.
WILLIE: Ah'm athinkin' ah'm agoin' to git religion.
BART: Ah'm agoin' to git it faster then you kin, ah'm abettin'.
WILLIE: No you haint.
BART: Why, you mangy varmit. I oughta blast yo foot.
WILLIE: If yo did yo'd miss.
CHIEF: Love, gentlemen, love. Love is the thing that will win the heart of L'il Buttercup-Shines-In-The-Mornin'. She loves the Bible and the Bible says love your enemies. Do good to those that hate you. Bless those who curse you. (BART AND WILLIE PUT THEIR ARMS AROUND EACH OTHER)
BART: Ah'm agonna do yo some good 'cause ah hate yo so much.
WILLIE: Ah'm gonna curse yo 'cause yo blessed me.
CHIEF: No, no, turn that around. (WILLIE AND BART TURN AROUND TOGETHER) No, no, turn the phrase around. Bless them that curse you.
WILLIE: Oh, ah git it. Ah'm agonna bless you 'cause yo cursed at me.
CHIEF: Love, gentlemen, love.
WILLIE: Look, yo flea-bitten polecat. I love yo -- bettern yo love me.
BART: No, yo don't -- I love yo better, yo lousy, cockeyed whopper jawed critter. (THEY BOTH EXIT ARM IN ARM FOLLOWED BY THE CHIEF AND LI'L BUTTERCUP)

