The Danger Of Denying The Inevitable
Stories
Object:
Contents
"The Danger of Denying the Inevitable" by Lamar Massingill
"Losing Your Life" by Peter Andrew Smith
* * * * * * * *
The Danger of Denying the Inevitable
by Lamar Massingill
Mark 8:31-38
Peter always wanted things solved before they ever happened. Or he wanted someone else to solve the contradictions for him. He's most like us. He wants to know outcomes before events, the scores before the games even begin. He always wants to know how things finish before anything even starts. It would be nice, wouldn't it?
This is why I always have a soft spot for Peter. I identify with him most, more than all the other disciples, with the possible exception of Thomas. But Peter... he wanted the carefree kind of existence: no conflict, no worry, no discomfort, no ambiguous answers, no ambiguous questions, no chaos, no disagreements. Peter wanted everything handed to him on a silver platter, as we like to say it -- everything solved. Peter had quite a biography in the New Testament.
You may remember in the beginning of Jesus' ministry, he and the other disciples were in a boat and suddenly there was a storm so powerful it tossed the boat like a piece of flotsam in a troubled sea. Peter cries out for Jesus to wake up and to do something -- in other words -- take care of us! Don't you care that we are perishing?
On another occasion, Peter and the others were fishing and Peter sees what he thought was an apparition, and then knew it to be Jesus walking toward them on the water. Jesus invites Peter to come out to him, and though frightened, Peter does. After a while, he begins to sink and cries to Jesus to save him. Take care of me! Don't you care that I am sinking? To which Jesus responds "oh ye of little faith."
Then, on yet another occasion, Peter shows his insecurity regarding ambiguous questions and answers. Jesus asks him, "Who do you say that I am?" Peter, just as if he were answering a multiple choice question, says, "Well, you are the Christ, of course, the son of the living God." Jesus asks him twice over again, and Peter begins to get frustrated at all this thinking.
Then you remember during the transfiguration, Peter was trying to build houses for Jesus and the Old Testament prophets who appeared with him, knowing that he would be taken care of for the rest of his life. It was as if he was saying in a non-verbal way, Jesus, please don't make me go back down the mountain and reenter into real life.
We all know about those extremely brave words to Jesus before the crucifixion, "Lord I will go to the death with you!" But they didn't last very long, for Peter denied Jesus afterward, as Jesus predicted he would, and Peter found himself in utter grief over his choices that night. Peter was always one to take the route that involved the least conflict or worry.
That brings us to this episode with Jesus. Jesus is trying to tell Peter and the other disciples that he would have to suffer many things and then be killed. For someone who spent his life in avoidance of the inevitable in life, this was just too much for Peter to take, so he took Jesus aside and began to rebuke him saying, "Lord, this will never happen to you!" It really was a selfish statement, made probably more out of concern for himself and not Jesus. After all, what would Peter do without Jesus, who had taken care of him and had been his mainstay? Living without Jesus would be a highly insecure prospect for Peter, so he continued the pattern of avoidance he had nurtured for so long. Jesus quickly put Peter in his place, really the only time we see Jesus this direct with any of his disciples: "Get behind me Satan, your thoughts are not God's thoughts, but they come from man." It is a rather harsh statement, but I think for Peter, it was highly instructive.
I think Jesus was addressing the evil in Peter, which arose from his own pattern of denying the very things that are inevitable to living; inevitable to the created order -- human beings included -- like conflict and chaos and worry and disagreement and even, in this case, grief. Peter could not affirm what Fr. Andrew Greely once referred to as "the incredible all-rightness of the way things are," the way God created them to be. Quite to the contrary, Peter continually tried to run away from the way things are; in a word, Peter was always running from reality. I ask you: Is it not the essence of immaturity, when we cannot face life as life is, and consequently create a conspiracy of denial so thick that nothing matters in living but our own comfort and security? We become so sucked into ourselves that we cannot see the bigger picture, the one that God intends for us to see.
In short, when we refuse to confront real living and deny things that are inevitable to living in God's world, we become something other than alive; we become numb from the emotional anesthetic we've used to deaden our pain and reality. We're not really living, we're just existing; we're uncomfortable with the inevitable things life is full of. In a word, we're uncomfortable with change because we are in love with permanence and nothing stays permanent very long in this world.
Jesus seems to be saying to Peter that things will change, and it is both inevitable and it is good. Jesus saw the good thing that the chaos of his death would bring about and seemed to be saying that the inevitabilities of life, painful though some of them may be, are the very things that will reconcile us with God. Conflict, crisis, chaotic change is the beginning of the joy and celebration of God. Frederick Buechner once said that the gospel is bad news before its good news. We must accept the inevitabilities first, like the fact that were all sinners and miss the mark miserably, and feel the grief of that before we can appreciate the celebration and the affirmation of God toward us. Change is inevitable and to the extent we can accept this and learn to live creatively with it, will we experience the joy of God. All of the inevitable changes that happen in life are the very things that grow us up and on. In a phrase, in order to accept these as the raw material of new growth, we must grow out of the old. They are all, at the core of things, experiences of change. The reality of change is inevitably a loss and gain occurrence. We can't have one without the other.
So, I suppose Bob Dylan was eternally right when he wrote the song, "The Times, They Are A-Changin'." They always are. The question for us is: Will we make the changes a creative means of growing with Christ? If he can bring life out of death, then certainly he can take the losses of our own lives and fashion new growth out of them too. Is there any reason to doubt this? I think not. I think not.
The Rev. Lamar Massingill, a former Southern Baptist pastor, and also long time minister at the historic United Methodist Church in Port Gibson, Mississippi (1988-1999), is now Religion Editor for the Magnolia Gazette (magnoliagazette.com), for which he writes a weekly column. Massingill has traveled nationally and internationally and has lectured widely on the interaction between religion and psychology. He recently retired from the parish church after thirty years of pastoral ministry.
Losing Your Life
by Peter Andrew Smith
Mark 8:31-38
There once was a good man married to a good woman who was blessed to have a newborn son. The man was very thankful that after many years of study he had been offered a position at a good company so he could provide for his family. He went to church every Sunday with his wife and son and gave thanks to God for all his blessings.
The man worked hard to be able to provide the best for his loved ones and soon was promoted to a better position with more pay. He now had more responsibility but the man pushed himself and excelled. By the time his second son was born the man had been promoted once again.
He sometimes had to work long hours but he didn't mind, his family was worth it. He comforted himself during the days he devoted to work knowing that he would spent time with his beloved wife and sons on Saturday and Sunday they would go to church together.
As the children entered school and his wife decided to return to university, the man realized it was going to take even more money to give his family what he felt they deserved. He made himself indispensable to his company. He asked for and was given even more responsibility and greater pay.
For the first time, though, the man began to notice the cost. As well as working long hours during the week he started to go to the office on Saturday just to keep ahead of things. On Sunday, he was often tired and had to push himself to go to church with his family.
The man's wife asked him to cut back on his hours and give up some responsibilities but after the company started downsizing the man was afraid that if he did not give everything he had to his work then he would lose everything that was important to him. He continued to push himself even though he was growing older and finding that long hours were harder to do.
Sometimes he was so tired on Sunday morning that he stayed in bed when his family went to church. The man felt guilty about missing worship but reminded himself that his job was to provide for his wife and children.
After years of devotion to the company, the man was offered a tremendous opportunity to head up a special two-year project worth millions. He was going to be in charge of everything and with excitement and joy the man headed home to tell his wife and sons his good news.
The man was shocked at how his family reacted. His sons didn't care about what he was doing. His wife locked herself in the bathroom and cried. He kept explaining to her that it was something that would make their lives better and although it would mean some long nights and maybe some weekends he would finally be able to give them everything he wanted to give them.
After taking on the special project, the man worked so many hours that he often slept in his office during the week. He knew he was missing things that were happening at home and when his wife complained he simply answered that the project would someday finish.
Finally when the two years were over and the project was done the company thanked the man for all his work and gave him a bonus for doing everything so well. They offered him an even larger project to head up and the man was honored at their trust in him.
Yet as he drove home to tell his family, all he could think about were the constant fights with his wife about the time he spent at work. He tried to think about how his sons would respond to the news but realized he couldn't remember the last time he had spoken more than two words to them.
The more the man thought about his family and his life the less happy he became. He really couldn't remember the last time they all did something together. No, that wasn't true he could remember. It was when his wife dragged him to church Christmas Eve before he started the special project for the company.
The man sat in his car in front of the house for a long time. He wondered about his health and how long he could keep up the frantic pace of working seven days a week. He thought about what he had and for the first time in his life he wondered if it was all worth it. He found himself thinking about what he had lost by giving his life to his work. Then the man did something he hadn't done in a long time. He bowed his head in prayer.
When he finished he went into the house and told his wife that he had been offered an even greater job and he was refusing it and requesting a less demanding position. His wife cried at his news as she embraced him. The man was then certain his life had just taken the first steps on heading back to where he needed to be with his family and with his God.
Peter Andrew Smith is an ordained minister in the United Church of Canada who currently serves at St. James United Church in Antigonish, Nova Scotia. He is the author of All Things Are Ready (CSS), a book of lectionary-based communion prayers, as well as many stories and articles, which can be found listed at www.peterandrewsmith.com.
*****************************************
StoryShare, March 4, 2012, issue.
Copyright 2012 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to the StoryShare service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons, in worship and classroom settings, in brief devotions, in radio spots, and as newsletter fillers. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to permissions@csspub.com or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., 5450 N. Dixie Highway, Lima, Ohio 45807.
"The Danger of Denying the Inevitable" by Lamar Massingill
"Losing Your Life" by Peter Andrew Smith
* * * * * * * *
The Danger of Denying the Inevitable
by Lamar Massingill
Mark 8:31-38
Peter always wanted things solved before they ever happened. Or he wanted someone else to solve the contradictions for him. He's most like us. He wants to know outcomes before events, the scores before the games even begin. He always wants to know how things finish before anything even starts. It would be nice, wouldn't it?
This is why I always have a soft spot for Peter. I identify with him most, more than all the other disciples, with the possible exception of Thomas. But Peter... he wanted the carefree kind of existence: no conflict, no worry, no discomfort, no ambiguous answers, no ambiguous questions, no chaos, no disagreements. Peter wanted everything handed to him on a silver platter, as we like to say it -- everything solved. Peter had quite a biography in the New Testament.
You may remember in the beginning of Jesus' ministry, he and the other disciples were in a boat and suddenly there was a storm so powerful it tossed the boat like a piece of flotsam in a troubled sea. Peter cries out for Jesus to wake up and to do something -- in other words -- take care of us! Don't you care that we are perishing?
On another occasion, Peter and the others were fishing and Peter sees what he thought was an apparition, and then knew it to be Jesus walking toward them on the water. Jesus invites Peter to come out to him, and though frightened, Peter does. After a while, he begins to sink and cries to Jesus to save him. Take care of me! Don't you care that I am sinking? To which Jesus responds "oh ye of little faith."
Then, on yet another occasion, Peter shows his insecurity regarding ambiguous questions and answers. Jesus asks him, "Who do you say that I am?" Peter, just as if he were answering a multiple choice question, says, "Well, you are the Christ, of course, the son of the living God." Jesus asks him twice over again, and Peter begins to get frustrated at all this thinking.
Then you remember during the transfiguration, Peter was trying to build houses for Jesus and the Old Testament prophets who appeared with him, knowing that he would be taken care of for the rest of his life. It was as if he was saying in a non-verbal way, Jesus, please don't make me go back down the mountain and reenter into real life.
We all know about those extremely brave words to Jesus before the crucifixion, "Lord I will go to the death with you!" But they didn't last very long, for Peter denied Jesus afterward, as Jesus predicted he would, and Peter found himself in utter grief over his choices that night. Peter was always one to take the route that involved the least conflict or worry.
That brings us to this episode with Jesus. Jesus is trying to tell Peter and the other disciples that he would have to suffer many things and then be killed. For someone who spent his life in avoidance of the inevitable in life, this was just too much for Peter to take, so he took Jesus aside and began to rebuke him saying, "Lord, this will never happen to you!" It really was a selfish statement, made probably more out of concern for himself and not Jesus. After all, what would Peter do without Jesus, who had taken care of him and had been his mainstay? Living without Jesus would be a highly insecure prospect for Peter, so he continued the pattern of avoidance he had nurtured for so long. Jesus quickly put Peter in his place, really the only time we see Jesus this direct with any of his disciples: "Get behind me Satan, your thoughts are not God's thoughts, but they come from man." It is a rather harsh statement, but I think for Peter, it was highly instructive.
I think Jesus was addressing the evil in Peter, which arose from his own pattern of denying the very things that are inevitable to living; inevitable to the created order -- human beings included -- like conflict and chaos and worry and disagreement and even, in this case, grief. Peter could not affirm what Fr. Andrew Greely once referred to as "the incredible all-rightness of the way things are," the way God created them to be. Quite to the contrary, Peter continually tried to run away from the way things are; in a word, Peter was always running from reality. I ask you: Is it not the essence of immaturity, when we cannot face life as life is, and consequently create a conspiracy of denial so thick that nothing matters in living but our own comfort and security? We become so sucked into ourselves that we cannot see the bigger picture, the one that God intends for us to see.
In short, when we refuse to confront real living and deny things that are inevitable to living in God's world, we become something other than alive; we become numb from the emotional anesthetic we've used to deaden our pain and reality. We're not really living, we're just existing; we're uncomfortable with the inevitable things life is full of. In a word, we're uncomfortable with change because we are in love with permanence and nothing stays permanent very long in this world.
Jesus seems to be saying to Peter that things will change, and it is both inevitable and it is good. Jesus saw the good thing that the chaos of his death would bring about and seemed to be saying that the inevitabilities of life, painful though some of them may be, are the very things that will reconcile us with God. Conflict, crisis, chaotic change is the beginning of the joy and celebration of God. Frederick Buechner once said that the gospel is bad news before its good news. We must accept the inevitabilities first, like the fact that were all sinners and miss the mark miserably, and feel the grief of that before we can appreciate the celebration and the affirmation of God toward us. Change is inevitable and to the extent we can accept this and learn to live creatively with it, will we experience the joy of God. All of the inevitable changes that happen in life are the very things that grow us up and on. In a phrase, in order to accept these as the raw material of new growth, we must grow out of the old. They are all, at the core of things, experiences of change. The reality of change is inevitably a loss and gain occurrence. We can't have one without the other.
So, I suppose Bob Dylan was eternally right when he wrote the song, "The Times, They Are A-Changin'." They always are. The question for us is: Will we make the changes a creative means of growing with Christ? If he can bring life out of death, then certainly he can take the losses of our own lives and fashion new growth out of them too. Is there any reason to doubt this? I think not. I think not.
The Rev. Lamar Massingill, a former Southern Baptist pastor, and also long time minister at the historic United Methodist Church in Port Gibson, Mississippi (1988-1999), is now Religion Editor for the Magnolia Gazette (magnoliagazette.com), for which he writes a weekly column. Massingill has traveled nationally and internationally and has lectured widely on the interaction between religion and psychology. He recently retired from the parish church after thirty years of pastoral ministry.
Losing Your Life
by Peter Andrew Smith
Mark 8:31-38
There once was a good man married to a good woman who was blessed to have a newborn son. The man was very thankful that after many years of study he had been offered a position at a good company so he could provide for his family. He went to church every Sunday with his wife and son and gave thanks to God for all his blessings.
The man worked hard to be able to provide the best for his loved ones and soon was promoted to a better position with more pay. He now had more responsibility but the man pushed himself and excelled. By the time his second son was born the man had been promoted once again.
He sometimes had to work long hours but he didn't mind, his family was worth it. He comforted himself during the days he devoted to work knowing that he would spent time with his beloved wife and sons on Saturday and Sunday they would go to church together.
As the children entered school and his wife decided to return to university, the man realized it was going to take even more money to give his family what he felt they deserved. He made himself indispensable to his company. He asked for and was given even more responsibility and greater pay.
For the first time, though, the man began to notice the cost. As well as working long hours during the week he started to go to the office on Saturday just to keep ahead of things. On Sunday, he was often tired and had to push himself to go to church with his family.
The man's wife asked him to cut back on his hours and give up some responsibilities but after the company started downsizing the man was afraid that if he did not give everything he had to his work then he would lose everything that was important to him. He continued to push himself even though he was growing older and finding that long hours were harder to do.
Sometimes he was so tired on Sunday morning that he stayed in bed when his family went to church. The man felt guilty about missing worship but reminded himself that his job was to provide for his wife and children.
After years of devotion to the company, the man was offered a tremendous opportunity to head up a special two-year project worth millions. He was going to be in charge of everything and with excitement and joy the man headed home to tell his wife and sons his good news.
The man was shocked at how his family reacted. His sons didn't care about what he was doing. His wife locked herself in the bathroom and cried. He kept explaining to her that it was something that would make their lives better and although it would mean some long nights and maybe some weekends he would finally be able to give them everything he wanted to give them.
After taking on the special project, the man worked so many hours that he often slept in his office during the week. He knew he was missing things that were happening at home and when his wife complained he simply answered that the project would someday finish.
Finally when the two years were over and the project was done the company thanked the man for all his work and gave him a bonus for doing everything so well. They offered him an even larger project to head up and the man was honored at their trust in him.
Yet as he drove home to tell his family, all he could think about were the constant fights with his wife about the time he spent at work. He tried to think about how his sons would respond to the news but realized he couldn't remember the last time he had spoken more than two words to them.
The more the man thought about his family and his life the less happy he became. He really couldn't remember the last time they all did something together. No, that wasn't true he could remember. It was when his wife dragged him to church Christmas Eve before he started the special project for the company.
The man sat in his car in front of the house for a long time. He wondered about his health and how long he could keep up the frantic pace of working seven days a week. He thought about what he had and for the first time in his life he wondered if it was all worth it. He found himself thinking about what he had lost by giving his life to his work. Then the man did something he hadn't done in a long time. He bowed his head in prayer.
When he finished he went into the house and told his wife that he had been offered an even greater job and he was refusing it and requesting a less demanding position. His wife cried at his news as she embraced him. The man was then certain his life had just taken the first steps on heading back to where he needed to be with his family and with his God.
Peter Andrew Smith is an ordained minister in the United Church of Canada who currently serves at St. James United Church in Antigonish, Nova Scotia. He is the author of All Things Are Ready (CSS), a book of lectionary-based communion prayers, as well as many stories and articles, which can be found listed at www.peterandrewsmith.com.
*****************************************
StoryShare, March 4, 2012, issue.
Copyright 2012 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to the StoryShare service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons, in worship and classroom settings, in brief devotions, in radio spots, and as newsletter fillers. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to permissions@csspub.com or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., 5450 N. Dixie Highway, Lima, Ohio 45807.
