The Dishonest Woodcutter
Stories
Contents
What's Up This Week: "Balm in Viborg"
A Story to Live By: "The Dishonest Woodcutter"
Shining Moments: "Praying for a Child" by Kris Drollinger
Good Stories: "The Crooked Accountant" by John Sumwalt
Scrap Pile: "Funeral Sermon for Herb" by Mindy Ehrke
Balm in Viborg
Mindy Ehrke was faced with one of the most difficult duties any pastor ever has to perform. Herb, one of her beloved parishioners, had committed suicide. What to say to the bereaved family as they raised questions about their loved one's immortal soul? What to say to the whole community at the funeral? Mindy trusts her pastor's heart; she recalls reminders of God's extravagant love in the life of Jesus and told in the scriptures. She declares boldly that we will see Herb in heaven. Mindy does what every good shepherd is called to do. She gives hope to those who fear there is no hope. Is there a balm in Gilead, Jeremiah asks. There was a balm in Viborg, South Dakota, on that cold winter day last January when they buried Herb. Praise God! Check out Mindy's "Funeral Sermon for Herb" in this week's Scrap Pile.
A Story to Live By
The Dishonest Woodcutter
"Whoever is faithful in a very little is faithful also in much; and whoever is dishonest in a very little is dishonest also in much. If then you have not been faithful with the dishonest wealth, who will entrust to you the true riches? And if you have not been faithful with what belongs to another, who will give you what is your own?"
Luke 16:10-12
One day while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied that his axe had fallen into the water, and he needed the axe to make his living. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "No." The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. Again the woodcutter replied, "No." The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.
Some time later, the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied, "Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez. "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked. "Yes," cried the woodcutter. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The woodcutter replied, "Oh, please forgive me, my Lord! It is a misunderstanding! You see, if I had said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez, you would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I had also said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and I am not able to take care of all three wives, so that is why I said 'yes' to Jennifer Lopez."
The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it!!!
Shining Moments
Praying for a Child
by Kris Drollinger
He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the Lord!
Psalm 113:9 [alternate lectionary text]
My experience occurred on a Saturday morning in early November of 1988. My husband Rick and I had been trying to have a baby for about two years. We were both in our mid-thirties, so time (especially since we had hoped to have two children) was getting short. We had been going through some rather expensive fertility workups and we were in our fourth month of this effort and beginning to run low on money. I had been praying daily to the Lord to just at least give us a chance. I felt that with God's help and guidance Rick and I could raise a child who would make a difference -- even if it were a difference in just his or her neighborhood. We felt we could raise a happy, healthy child. We had been married for ten years, so we felt we were very secure in our love for each other.
The morning in question was one of those typical early November days -- frosty, some traces of unmelted snow, but not really a snow cover. My husband had gone off somewhere running simple Saturday morning errands, and I was getting set to run a few of my own in the area, walking to the mailbox and then up to a grocery store several blocks from our home. In the process of getting ready to leave I discovered, much to my disappointment, that yet again this month I had not become pregnant. I remember standing in front of the mirror, brushing my hair and crying and praying my usual prayer to God asking for just one chance for a child.
I pulled myself together and started out to run my errands. I was standing waiting for the light to change at 92nd and Capitol Drive. The sun was shining in that weak kind of silvery way when it's trying to shine through a thin layer of clouds, and it was chilly enough that I had my jacket zipped up. The light changed, and as I stepped up onto the little island in the center of Capitol Drive, I very clearly heard a hoarse whisper, loudest in my left ear, saying, "Kris, Jesus loves you, this you should know!" I stepped down off the island and continued walking the rest of the way across the street, and then turned right towards the mailbox on 93rd Street. I felt shaken by the voice, but also astounded! Of course, I of all people should know how much Jesus loves me! I had the feeling like, what in the world was I thinking? From then on I absolutely knew that everything would be all right and that our prayers could most certainly be answered.
On the 29th of that same month I went in for a fourth fertility treatment, and at Christmas I was able to announce that I indeed was expecting a child in August 1989. Our daughter Michelle is now 15 years old, but the voice I heard is as clear to me today as it was on that November morning in 1988.
Call it a mother's love, but our daughter is truly a gift. She is beautiful, and is very involved in school, our church, and the community. She is an honor-roll student, and has been a complete joy to my husband and me as well as to the people she meets. Michelle knows this entire story, and her faith in God is very strong. I am proud to share my story with anyone who will take the time to listen because I know with every fiber of my being that this is true, not my imagination, and that a strong faith in the Lord is absolutely the only way to live, love, and be loved.
Kris Drollinger is a medical transcriber who lives quietly in suburban Milwaukee with her husband, daughter, and two cats. They are members of Trinity Pilgrim United Methodist Church.
Good Stories
The Crooked Accountant
by John Sumwalt
"And his master commended the dishonest manager because he had acted shrewdly; for the children of this age are more shrewd in dealing with their own generation than are the children of light."
Luke 16:8
There was a rich bookie who had an accountant who was accused of mismanaging his business affairs. And the bookie called in the accountant and said, "Hey, man, what's this I hear about you? Turn in the books -- you're fired!"
The accountant thought, "What shall I do? I won't qualify for unemployment and I am too proud to go on welfare. I know what I'll do... I'll make sure that enough people owe me that I won't have to worry when I start looking for another job."
So he called in all of the bookie's clients, one by one. "How did you do on your last bet?" he asked the first. "I lost $3,000," the man told him. "Let me check that on the computer," the accountant said. "That's what I thought, there was a mistake in the point spread on that game. You only owe $1,500."
The next man was in arrears on several losing bets. "How much do you owe all together?" the accountant asked him. "Ten thousand dollars," came the reply. The accountant smiled at him and said, "Pay me 80 cents on the dollar and the slate is clean."
And so it went, until the accountant had enough people in his debt that he could be certain of landing another job. When the rich bookie found out what his former employee had done, he bought him a drink and congratulated him on his shrewdness.
Scrap Pile
Funeral Sermon for Herb
by Mindy Ehrke
Is there no balm in Gilead? Is there no physician there?
Jeremiah 8:22a
Help us, O God of our salvation, for the glory of your name; deliver us, and forgive our sins, for your name's sake.
Psalm 79:9
[On January 14 of this year, a kind, sweet 97-year-old man who still lived in his own apartment committed suicide. This was my sermon, based on Romans 8:31-35, 37-39; Psalm 23; Revelation 21:2-7; and John 14:1-6.]
Herb was one of the kindest, gentlest people I knew. Despite his age, the weather usually had to get pretty bad before he would miss worship. He was always appreciative of any kindness done or visit made. He was faithful to his church, his friends, and he was so proud of his family.
Herb didn't just know about the 23rd Psalm, he lived it. He had let the Lord lead him and guide him all his life. He believed the promise in the final verse: "And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever." He believed that promise not because he thought he had earned his way into heaven, but because of what Jesus had done for him. Jesus said in our Gospel lesson: "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but by me." Herb trusted that way and the promise that Jesus was preparing a place for him, and for you and for me.
Herb has been ready for death as long as I have known him. But then, he was already 90 when we met, and it had been seven years since his wife had died. He often told me he didn't know why he was still here. But he was proud that he was still taking care of himself, that he had his mind and could drive his car and could play a game of cards once in a while with the old people up at the home.
If Herb had fears, they were of getting too old and of losing his eyesight. How could he learn to cope at his age? But death? Death was the gate to eternal life. He had heard the promise in the passage from Revelation: "Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away." And the one who was seated on the throne said, "See, I am making all things new." Herb trusted that the limitations of old age, and the sorrows of this world, would all be gone in heaven.
I'm not very good about tap dancing around issues. Those who knew and loved Herb have had lots of questions this past week. We need to ask and answer some of those questions here. Should he have committed suicide? No. But I don't think anyone could have guessed the choice Herb would make for himself, or that any of us could have stopped him. Will Herb go to hell because of his choice? No! The church used to discourage suicide by preaching hell. I suspect the hell Herb faced was in his last hours of life, but not now. I believe Herb is in heaven.
Paul wrote to the Romans: "It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? ... For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus, not suicide or depression, not death or disease, nothing.
Herb was one of the kindest, gentlest people I knew. He was 97 years old, but he died too soon. He will be missed. But he is not separated from the love of God, and neither are we. Herb is with Christ in heaven. Someday we hope to join him there. Amen.
Mindy Ehrke is pastor of Bethany Lutheran Church in Viborg, South Dakota, and Our Redeemer Lutheran Church in Irene, South Dakota. She preaches, teaches, and serves as an officer for several organizations outside the church. With her husband Greg, she has nearly finished raising three children (Chris, Sara, and Dan), and occasionally finds time to write. She has been a contributor to several books and her local newspaper.
**************
StoryShare, September 19, 2004, issue.
Copyright 2004 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to the StoryShare service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons, in worship and classroom settings, in brief devotions, in radio spots, and as newsletter fillers. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to permissions@csspub.com or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., P.O. Box 4503, Lima, Ohio 45802-4503.
What's Up This Week: "Balm in Viborg"
A Story to Live By: "The Dishonest Woodcutter"
Shining Moments: "Praying for a Child" by Kris Drollinger
Good Stories: "The Crooked Accountant" by John Sumwalt
Scrap Pile: "Funeral Sermon for Herb" by Mindy Ehrke
Balm in Viborg
Mindy Ehrke was faced with one of the most difficult duties any pastor ever has to perform. Herb, one of her beloved parishioners, had committed suicide. What to say to the bereaved family as they raised questions about their loved one's immortal soul? What to say to the whole community at the funeral? Mindy trusts her pastor's heart; she recalls reminders of God's extravagant love in the life of Jesus and told in the scriptures. She declares boldly that we will see Herb in heaven. Mindy does what every good shepherd is called to do. She gives hope to those who fear there is no hope. Is there a balm in Gilead, Jeremiah asks. There was a balm in Viborg, South Dakota, on that cold winter day last January when they buried Herb. Praise God! Check out Mindy's "Funeral Sermon for Herb" in this week's Scrap Pile.
A Story to Live By
The Dishonest Woodcutter
"Whoever is faithful in a very little is faithful also in much; and whoever is dishonest in a very little is dishonest also in much. If then you have not been faithful with the dishonest wealth, who will entrust to you the true riches? And if you have not been faithful with what belongs to another, who will give you what is your own?"
Luke 16:10-12
One day while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied that his axe had fallen into the water, and he needed the axe to make his living. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "No." The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. Again the woodcutter replied, "No." The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.
Some time later, the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied, "Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez. "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked. "Yes," cried the woodcutter. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The woodcutter replied, "Oh, please forgive me, my Lord! It is a misunderstanding! You see, if I had said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez, you would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I had also said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and I am not able to take care of all three wives, so that is why I said 'yes' to Jennifer Lopez."
The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it!!!
Shining Moments
Praying for a Child
by Kris Drollinger
He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the Lord!
Psalm 113:9 [alternate lectionary text]
My experience occurred on a Saturday morning in early November of 1988. My husband Rick and I had been trying to have a baby for about two years. We were both in our mid-thirties, so time (especially since we had hoped to have two children) was getting short. We had been going through some rather expensive fertility workups and we were in our fourth month of this effort and beginning to run low on money. I had been praying daily to the Lord to just at least give us a chance. I felt that with God's help and guidance Rick and I could raise a child who would make a difference -- even if it were a difference in just his or her neighborhood. We felt we could raise a happy, healthy child. We had been married for ten years, so we felt we were very secure in our love for each other.
The morning in question was one of those typical early November days -- frosty, some traces of unmelted snow, but not really a snow cover. My husband had gone off somewhere running simple Saturday morning errands, and I was getting set to run a few of my own in the area, walking to the mailbox and then up to a grocery store several blocks from our home. In the process of getting ready to leave I discovered, much to my disappointment, that yet again this month I had not become pregnant. I remember standing in front of the mirror, brushing my hair and crying and praying my usual prayer to God asking for just one chance for a child.
I pulled myself together and started out to run my errands. I was standing waiting for the light to change at 92nd and Capitol Drive. The sun was shining in that weak kind of silvery way when it's trying to shine through a thin layer of clouds, and it was chilly enough that I had my jacket zipped up. The light changed, and as I stepped up onto the little island in the center of Capitol Drive, I very clearly heard a hoarse whisper, loudest in my left ear, saying, "Kris, Jesus loves you, this you should know!" I stepped down off the island and continued walking the rest of the way across the street, and then turned right towards the mailbox on 93rd Street. I felt shaken by the voice, but also astounded! Of course, I of all people should know how much Jesus loves me! I had the feeling like, what in the world was I thinking? From then on I absolutely knew that everything would be all right and that our prayers could most certainly be answered.
On the 29th of that same month I went in for a fourth fertility treatment, and at Christmas I was able to announce that I indeed was expecting a child in August 1989. Our daughter Michelle is now 15 years old, but the voice I heard is as clear to me today as it was on that November morning in 1988.
Call it a mother's love, but our daughter is truly a gift. She is beautiful, and is very involved in school, our church, and the community. She is an honor-roll student, and has been a complete joy to my husband and me as well as to the people she meets. Michelle knows this entire story, and her faith in God is very strong. I am proud to share my story with anyone who will take the time to listen because I know with every fiber of my being that this is true, not my imagination, and that a strong faith in the Lord is absolutely the only way to live, love, and be loved.
Kris Drollinger is a medical transcriber who lives quietly in suburban Milwaukee with her husband, daughter, and two cats. They are members of Trinity Pilgrim United Methodist Church.
Good Stories
The Crooked Accountant
by John Sumwalt
"And his master commended the dishonest manager because he had acted shrewdly; for the children of this age are more shrewd in dealing with their own generation than are the children of light."
Luke 16:8
There was a rich bookie who had an accountant who was accused of mismanaging his business affairs. And the bookie called in the accountant and said, "Hey, man, what's this I hear about you? Turn in the books -- you're fired!"
The accountant thought, "What shall I do? I won't qualify for unemployment and I am too proud to go on welfare. I know what I'll do... I'll make sure that enough people owe me that I won't have to worry when I start looking for another job."
So he called in all of the bookie's clients, one by one. "How did you do on your last bet?" he asked the first. "I lost $3,000," the man told him. "Let me check that on the computer," the accountant said. "That's what I thought, there was a mistake in the point spread on that game. You only owe $1,500."
The next man was in arrears on several losing bets. "How much do you owe all together?" the accountant asked him. "Ten thousand dollars," came the reply. The accountant smiled at him and said, "Pay me 80 cents on the dollar and the slate is clean."
And so it went, until the accountant had enough people in his debt that he could be certain of landing another job. When the rich bookie found out what his former employee had done, he bought him a drink and congratulated him on his shrewdness.
Scrap Pile
Funeral Sermon for Herb
by Mindy Ehrke
Is there no balm in Gilead? Is there no physician there?
Jeremiah 8:22a
Help us, O God of our salvation, for the glory of your name; deliver us, and forgive our sins, for your name's sake.
Psalm 79:9
[On January 14 of this year, a kind, sweet 97-year-old man who still lived in his own apartment committed suicide. This was my sermon, based on Romans 8:31-35, 37-39; Psalm 23; Revelation 21:2-7; and John 14:1-6.]
Herb was one of the kindest, gentlest people I knew. Despite his age, the weather usually had to get pretty bad before he would miss worship. He was always appreciative of any kindness done or visit made. He was faithful to his church, his friends, and he was so proud of his family.
Herb didn't just know about the 23rd Psalm, he lived it. He had let the Lord lead him and guide him all his life. He believed the promise in the final verse: "And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever." He believed that promise not because he thought he had earned his way into heaven, but because of what Jesus had done for him. Jesus said in our Gospel lesson: "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but by me." Herb trusted that way and the promise that Jesus was preparing a place for him, and for you and for me.
Herb has been ready for death as long as I have known him. But then, he was already 90 when we met, and it had been seven years since his wife had died. He often told me he didn't know why he was still here. But he was proud that he was still taking care of himself, that he had his mind and could drive his car and could play a game of cards once in a while with the old people up at the home.
If Herb had fears, they were of getting too old and of losing his eyesight. How could he learn to cope at his age? But death? Death was the gate to eternal life. He had heard the promise in the passage from Revelation: "Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away." And the one who was seated on the throne said, "See, I am making all things new." Herb trusted that the limitations of old age, and the sorrows of this world, would all be gone in heaven.
I'm not very good about tap dancing around issues. Those who knew and loved Herb have had lots of questions this past week. We need to ask and answer some of those questions here. Should he have committed suicide? No. But I don't think anyone could have guessed the choice Herb would make for himself, or that any of us could have stopped him. Will Herb go to hell because of his choice? No! The church used to discourage suicide by preaching hell. I suspect the hell Herb faced was in his last hours of life, but not now. I believe Herb is in heaven.
Paul wrote to the Romans: "It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? ... For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus, not suicide or depression, not death or disease, nothing.
Herb was one of the kindest, gentlest people I knew. He was 97 years old, but he died too soon. He will be missed. But he is not separated from the love of God, and neither are we. Herb is with Christ in heaven. Someday we hope to join him there. Amen.
Mindy Ehrke is pastor of Bethany Lutheran Church in Viborg, South Dakota, and Our Redeemer Lutheran Church in Irene, South Dakota. She preaches, teaches, and serves as an officer for several organizations outside the church. With her husband Greg, she has nearly finished raising three children (Chris, Sara, and Dan), and occasionally finds time to write. She has been a contributor to several books and her local newspaper.
**************
StoryShare, September 19, 2004, issue.
Copyright 2004 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to the StoryShare service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons, in worship and classroom settings, in brief devotions, in radio spots, and as newsletter fillers. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to permissions@csspub.com or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., P.O. Box 4503, Lima, Ohio 45802-4503.
