Purify Me Of My Sin
Stories
John knocked at the door and waited. His heart was pounding in his chest and he was sweating. He wouldn’t be surprised if Suzy slammed the door into his face. What he had done to her, what he had done to their marriage, was simply unforgivable. His heart leapt when the door started to open and he froze when Suzy’s father, Mark, stood before him. From the look on his father-in-law’s face there was no doubt that he knew what John had done.
John thought for a moment about just turning around and leaving. Yet he missed Suzy and he loved her and if this was the price he had to pay in order to get to see her he would face his sin and take it like a man. John took a deep breath.
“I was hoping to talk to Suzy, sir.”
“You’ll talk to me first.” Mark started into the kitchen.
John followed Mark hoping this would be brief.
His father-in-law pointed at a chair. “Sit.”
“I can explain —” John began.
“No, you cannot.” Mark interrupted. “You can give excuses, you can say words but you cannot justify breaking my little girl’s heart and throwing away your marriage.”
John swallowed the rest of his explanation. Mark was right. There were no words that could make this better. John knew because for the last two days he had been trying to figure out what to say to Suzy. John couldn’t meet Mark’s gaze and simply looked at the floor. He waited for the older man to yell at him, berate him, call him all the terrible names John had called himself the last two days. The silence dragged on and finally John looked up.
“Why are you here?” Mark asked.
“I want to talk to Suzy.”
“Why?”
“I want to make things right.”
“You can’t. There is nothing you can do or promise to do that will take away the hurt you have caused.”
The words hit John hard and he broke down in tears. His worst fear was that his selfishness, his stupidity, would ruin the best thing in his life. He had lost everything for something meaningless. He covered his face and wept. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up at Mark holding a tissue.
John wiped his eyes. “I guess I’ll be going then.”
“You could do that,” Mark said quietly.
“What else can I do?” John asked. “I know I’ve ruined things but I love Suzy with all my heart and if I could go back and relive two nights ago I would walk away.”
Mark considered him. “I always liked you John.”
“Really?”
“Yes. You didn’t just say that you loved Suzy you actually treated her right. I figured you would have a long happy marriage.”
John hung his head. “I’m sorry I disappointed you.”
“I also think you have a good heart which is why I asked Suzy to let me answer the door and talk to you first before she speaks with you.”
John looked up. “She’ll speak to me?”
“In a moment, yes she will.” Mark paused. “Your mother raised you in church, didn’t she?”
“Yes, sir.”
“There’s a part in the Bible where King David sinned badly against God with a women he shouldn’t have been with. And do you know what he does?”
John shook his head.
“He asks for forgiveness. He knows that there is nothing he can do to make things right. Nothing he can say, no action he can take except to admit he was wrong because only God can forgive him.”
“I expect God is mighty angry with me for breaking my wedding vows.”
“I expect God is pretty disappointed,” Mark said. “I also expect that God wants you to try and work things out.”
“How? You told me there’s nothing I can say or do to make things right.”
“You can’t. Only the person you have wronged can do that by forgiving you.” Mark held up his hand. “Yes, you will need to do things. Maybe see Pastor Harris or someone for marriage counselling. Certainly spend a great deal of time rebuilding your trust and your marriage. You know that awful feeling you’ve got that you’re dirty and can’t get clean?”
“I do.”
“Only forgiveness can make that go away. Her forgiveness and God’s forgiveness.”
“What if they won’t forgive me?” John whispered. “I broke Suzy’s heart and I broke the promises I made before God in church.”
“God sent Jesus to die for our sins so you ask and God will forgive,” Mark said. “As for Suzy, she agreed to see you. I don’t know what that means but at least you have a chance.”
John swallowed. “A chance to tell her face to face that I was wrong and ask for her to forgive me.”
Mark nodded. “If she does the road will not be easy.”
“I don’t want to walk any road in this life unless I am at her side.”
Mark pointed to the stairs. “Then go and see if she’ll walk with you.”
John headed up the stairs and as he did Mark prayed that God would help his daughter and son-in-law find a way forward through the pain they both were suffering.
**************
StoryShare, February 26, 2020, issue.
Copyright 2020 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to the StoryShare service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons, in worship and classroom settings, in brief devotions, in radio spots, and as newsletter fillers. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to permissions@csspub.com or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., 5450 N. Dixie Hwy., Lima, Ohio 45807.
John thought for a moment about just turning around and leaving. Yet he missed Suzy and he loved her and if this was the price he had to pay in order to get to see her he would face his sin and take it like a man. John took a deep breath.
“I was hoping to talk to Suzy, sir.”
“You’ll talk to me first.” Mark started into the kitchen.
John followed Mark hoping this would be brief.
His father-in-law pointed at a chair. “Sit.”
“I can explain —” John began.
“No, you cannot.” Mark interrupted. “You can give excuses, you can say words but you cannot justify breaking my little girl’s heart and throwing away your marriage.”
John swallowed the rest of his explanation. Mark was right. There were no words that could make this better. John knew because for the last two days he had been trying to figure out what to say to Suzy. John couldn’t meet Mark’s gaze and simply looked at the floor. He waited for the older man to yell at him, berate him, call him all the terrible names John had called himself the last two days. The silence dragged on and finally John looked up.
“Why are you here?” Mark asked.
“I want to talk to Suzy.”
“Why?”
“I want to make things right.”
“You can’t. There is nothing you can do or promise to do that will take away the hurt you have caused.”
The words hit John hard and he broke down in tears. His worst fear was that his selfishness, his stupidity, would ruin the best thing in his life. He had lost everything for something meaningless. He covered his face and wept. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up at Mark holding a tissue.
John wiped his eyes. “I guess I’ll be going then.”
“You could do that,” Mark said quietly.
“What else can I do?” John asked. “I know I’ve ruined things but I love Suzy with all my heart and if I could go back and relive two nights ago I would walk away.”
Mark considered him. “I always liked you John.”
“Really?”
“Yes. You didn’t just say that you loved Suzy you actually treated her right. I figured you would have a long happy marriage.”
John hung his head. “I’m sorry I disappointed you.”
“I also think you have a good heart which is why I asked Suzy to let me answer the door and talk to you first before she speaks with you.”
John looked up. “She’ll speak to me?”
“In a moment, yes she will.” Mark paused. “Your mother raised you in church, didn’t she?”
“Yes, sir.”
“There’s a part in the Bible where King David sinned badly against God with a women he shouldn’t have been with. And do you know what he does?”
John shook his head.
“He asks for forgiveness. He knows that there is nothing he can do to make things right. Nothing he can say, no action he can take except to admit he was wrong because only God can forgive him.”
“I expect God is mighty angry with me for breaking my wedding vows.”
“I expect God is pretty disappointed,” Mark said. “I also expect that God wants you to try and work things out.”
“How? You told me there’s nothing I can say or do to make things right.”
“You can’t. Only the person you have wronged can do that by forgiving you.” Mark held up his hand. “Yes, you will need to do things. Maybe see Pastor Harris or someone for marriage counselling. Certainly spend a great deal of time rebuilding your trust and your marriage. You know that awful feeling you’ve got that you’re dirty and can’t get clean?”
“I do.”
“Only forgiveness can make that go away. Her forgiveness and God’s forgiveness.”
“What if they won’t forgive me?” John whispered. “I broke Suzy’s heart and I broke the promises I made before God in church.”
“God sent Jesus to die for our sins so you ask and God will forgive,” Mark said. “As for Suzy, she agreed to see you. I don’t know what that means but at least you have a chance.”
John swallowed. “A chance to tell her face to face that I was wrong and ask for her to forgive me.”
Mark nodded. “If she does the road will not be easy.”
“I don’t want to walk any road in this life unless I am at her side.”
Mark pointed to the stairs. “Then go and see if she’ll walk with you.”
John headed up the stairs and as he did Mark prayed that God would help his daughter and son-in-law find a way forward through the pain they both were suffering.
**************
StoryShare, February 26, 2020, issue.
Copyright 2020 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to the StoryShare service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons, in worship and classroom settings, in brief devotions, in radio spots, and as newsletter fillers. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to permissions@csspub.com or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., 5450 N. Dixie Hwy., Lima, Ohio 45807.
