Family wounds and God's grace
Commentary
Object:
In one of my former parishes, the wife of retired pastor led us in a Bible study of the book of Genesis. She was trained as a social worker and had previously led studies of Genesis in her work with prisoners. As we progressed through the stories, she told us how the complicated family relationships of the patriarchs prompted the incarcerated men in her Bible study to talk about their own families and the troubles so many of them had experienced growing up. Today's readings invite us to consider the families God has given us, how they may be sources both of wounding and grace, and how we are ultimately called to place our trust in God alone.
Genesis 21:8-21
This is the second of two stories in Genesis in which Hagar cast out into the wilderness. In the first story (Genesis 16), Hagar is pregnant by Abram, runs away when she is ill-treated by Sarai, and is found by a spring in the wilderness by an angel who tells her to return to Abram and Sarai and bear her son Ishmael. The angel gives Hagar a promise similar to the one God gave to Abram that her offspring will be so many that they cannot be counted (Genesis 16:10). This first story is considered by scholars to come from the Jahwist source.
Today's story is attributed to the Elohist source and while it bears some striking parallels to the earlier story, it also differs in significant ways. Sarai and Abram have become Sarah and Abraham; Ishmael is now a child and Isaac has been born. Where the conflict in the first story is over the pregnant Hagar's contempt for her barren mistress Sarai and Sarai's subsequent mistreatment of Hagar, here Sarah becomes jealous of Hagar's son Ishmael and fears that he will share in or usurp Isaac's inheritance. When Hagar leaves this time, she does not run away; she is dismissed by Abraham at Sarah's bidding, and she does not come back. In casting her out, Abraham gives the Egyptian Hagar her freedom after years as a slave; yet she wanders in the wilderness where death is a certainty. The connections with the later Exodus story are striking. When the water Abraham has given them runs out, Hagar despairs of her own life and her son's. While we are told that Hagar was the one who raised up her voice in despair, the angel who responds says that God has heard the voice of her son, a wordplay on Ishmael's name, which means "God hears." Hagar receives the promise that Ishmael will become a great nation. And now both Jewish and Muslim traditions consider Ishmael the father of the Arab people.
Romans 6:1b-11
Today is the first of thirteen successive weeks reading through Paul's letter to the Romans from the beginning of chapter 6 through the end of chapter 12, skipping some sections along the way. In chapters 1-5, Paul has developed his argument that Jew and Gentile alike are justified by faith, not works. It is Christ's death that has saved sinful humanity and reconciled us with God. This is a free gift of grace, to be accepted with joy and gratitude, and which will rightly lead us to transformed lives. Freed from God's judgment for our sins, we no longer live in fear, but grace.
In chapter 6, Paul describes the transformation that comes when we accept God's justification through baptism. We die to the old ways, as Christ died, and rise to new life as he rose. Through Christ's death, our sins have been forgiven, so we, too, through his death must become dead to sin. When we accept this through baptism, we do not go on living in the same old way, confident that God will keep forgiving us over and over again. Instead, we are transformed from our old, sinful selves, united with God and live gladly according to his ways.
Matthew 10:24-39
Chapter 10 in Matthew describes Jesus sending out the twelve apostles to perform healings and exorcisms. Most of the chapter, including today's readings, reports his instructions to the twelve; this "Missionary Discourse" is the second of five major discourses in the gospel of Matthew, which together may reflect the five books of the Torah. (The other discourses appear in chapters 5-7, 13, 18, and 24-25.) Jesus tells the apostles to visit Jewish towns and offer their services freely to those who will accept them (10:5-15). He warns them to expect persecution (10:16-23) and verses 24-25 continue this warning, noting that if people call Jesus Beelzebul (master of the demons), then the apostles should expect similar or worse treatment. In the face of expected persecution, Jesus offers words of reassurance that God will preserve the souls of those who are faithful (vv. 26-32). The disciples should expect that following Jesus' instructions will produce conflict (not peace, but a sword) and division and he cites the prophet Micah in describing divisions even within households (vv. 35-36). These disturbing promises and the call to take up one's cross end with the promise of life for those who are willing to surrender all that they have and are to God's mission.
Application
Today's readings are all about placing our trust in God rather than human beings and even the closest of human relationships. In Genesis, Hagar and Ishmael are cast out into the wilderness by Ishmael's father Abraham where they are saved by an angel of God. In Romans, Paul has spent chapters describing the depravity to which humanity has sunk and counsels that we can never be saved by our own merit, but only through the sacrifice of Christ. In Matthew, Jesus warns his apostles to expect persecution, resistance, possibly even death for carrying his message to the surrounding countryside. Even family members may turn against the apostles or against one another when some hear and respond to their message while others do not. God will value the apostles and preserve their souls whatever comes, if they remain faithful, but what will come will be difficult indeed.
"Amen!" some will cry aloud or in their hearts to this message to trust only God and not even those closest to us. Those who have experienced betrayal, neglect, and abuse in intimate relationships may cling to these words. Others, sitting in the pews with loving or at least good-enough families may cringe and want to cover their ears against these very same words. I think of the prisoners my friend ministered with who found the difficult stories of Genesis an opening to talk about their own experiences of the harm family members can do to each other. I think of the homeless woman who this past week shared with me her own story of bouncing around the foster care system as a child, where the families who were charged with her care often neglected and sometimes outright abused her. There are people in this world who know in their very bones how little even those closest to them may be trusted; for them, finding a way to place their trust in God can be a monumental step toward wholeness and new life. But this same message may sound like hard news for those who do love mother and father, daughter and son.
It is worth remembering that neither Jesus nor Paul had any notion of a family in which spouses shared the Christian faith and raised their children in it. Adult converts, not infants, were baptized into the faith. The gospel of Matthew and Paul's letter to the Romans come out of the earliest years of the formation of Christian communities that now have lasted for 2,000 years. We live in a world that has been profoundly shaped by Jesus' teaching. Sin still abounds, yes, but Christian communities and families have also sought to practice agape love with one another in every generation since Matthew and Romans were written. What was true in Matthew and Paul's day may not be true for everyone in the same way today. Even so all of us, no matter how loving our relationships, are called to place our ultimate trust and devotion in God. If we expect other people to fill the place of God in our lives, we do them a disservice and we fail in our love for them and for God. It may be worth reflecting on the ways we can place our trust or hope inappropriately in others: by expecting them to love us perfectly, to never get sick or make mistakes, to never die, to read our minds, to know and meet all our needs. Children may do all these things, but mature Christians know better (though all but the wisest may need reminding from time to time). When we give our hearts to God, we are freed to truly love other people as they are, not as we wish them to be.
An Alternate Application
Next Sunday, June 29, marks the beginning of Ramadan, and the story of Hagar and Ishmael invites reflection on the troubled family relationships among the three Abrahamic religions of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. More than one person has observed how our bitterest enemies are often those who are like us, not those who are different. Family grudges and hostilities can divide generations, where fallings-out among friends seldom persist for so long with such vigor. With sufficient planning, a guest speaker or preacher from an Islamic community may make sense for some congregations, while prayers for peace and unity among world religions may make sense for others. Peace-making efforts across religious lines in the Holy Land or elsewhere could be highlighted.
Genesis 21:8-21
This is the second of two stories in Genesis in which Hagar cast out into the wilderness. In the first story (Genesis 16), Hagar is pregnant by Abram, runs away when she is ill-treated by Sarai, and is found by a spring in the wilderness by an angel who tells her to return to Abram and Sarai and bear her son Ishmael. The angel gives Hagar a promise similar to the one God gave to Abram that her offspring will be so many that they cannot be counted (Genesis 16:10). This first story is considered by scholars to come from the Jahwist source.
Today's story is attributed to the Elohist source and while it bears some striking parallels to the earlier story, it also differs in significant ways. Sarai and Abram have become Sarah and Abraham; Ishmael is now a child and Isaac has been born. Where the conflict in the first story is over the pregnant Hagar's contempt for her barren mistress Sarai and Sarai's subsequent mistreatment of Hagar, here Sarah becomes jealous of Hagar's son Ishmael and fears that he will share in or usurp Isaac's inheritance. When Hagar leaves this time, she does not run away; she is dismissed by Abraham at Sarah's bidding, and she does not come back. In casting her out, Abraham gives the Egyptian Hagar her freedom after years as a slave; yet she wanders in the wilderness where death is a certainty. The connections with the later Exodus story are striking. When the water Abraham has given them runs out, Hagar despairs of her own life and her son's. While we are told that Hagar was the one who raised up her voice in despair, the angel who responds says that God has heard the voice of her son, a wordplay on Ishmael's name, which means "God hears." Hagar receives the promise that Ishmael will become a great nation. And now both Jewish and Muslim traditions consider Ishmael the father of the Arab people.
Romans 6:1b-11
Today is the first of thirteen successive weeks reading through Paul's letter to the Romans from the beginning of chapter 6 through the end of chapter 12, skipping some sections along the way. In chapters 1-5, Paul has developed his argument that Jew and Gentile alike are justified by faith, not works. It is Christ's death that has saved sinful humanity and reconciled us with God. This is a free gift of grace, to be accepted with joy and gratitude, and which will rightly lead us to transformed lives. Freed from God's judgment for our sins, we no longer live in fear, but grace.
In chapter 6, Paul describes the transformation that comes when we accept God's justification through baptism. We die to the old ways, as Christ died, and rise to new life as he rose. Through Christ's death, our sins have been forgiven, so we, too, through his death must become dead to sin. When we accept this through baptism, we do not go on living in the same old way, confident that God will keep forgiving us over and over again. Instead, we are transformed from our old, sinful selves, united with God and live gladly according to his ways.
Matthew 10:24-39
Chapter 10 in Matthew describes Jesus sending out the twelve apostles to perform healings and exorcisms. Most of the chapter, including today's readings, reports his instructions to the twelve; this "Missionary Discourse" is the second of five major discourses in the gospel of Matthew, which together may reflect the five books of the Torah. (The other discourses appear in chapters 5-7, 13, 18, and 24-25.) Jesus tells the apostles to visit Jewish towns and offer their services freely to those who will accept them (10:5-15). He warns them to expect persecution (10:16-23) and verses 24-25 continue this warning, noting that if people call Jesus Beelzebul (master of the demons), then the apostles should expect similar or worse treatment. In the face of expected persecution, Jesus offers words of reassurance that God will preserve the souls of those who are faithful (vv. 26-32). The disciples should expect that following Jesus' instructions will produce conflict (not peace, but a sword) and division and he cites the prophet Micah in describing divisions even within households (vv. 35-36). These disturbing promises and the call to take up one's cross end with the promise of life for those who are willing to surrender all that they have and are to God's mission.
Application
Today's readings are all about placing our trust in God rather than human beings and even the closest of human relationships. In Genesis, Hagar and Ishmael are cast out into the wilderness by Ishmael's father Abraham where they are saved by an angel of God. In Romans, Paul has spent chapters describing the depravity to which humanity has sunk and counsels that we can never be saved by our own merit, but only through the sacrifice of Christ. In Matthew, Jesus warns his apostles to expect persecution, resistance, possibly even death for carrying his message to the surrounding countryside. Even family members may turn against the apostles or against one another when some hear and respond to their message while others do not. God will value the apostles and preserve their souls whatever comes, if they remain faithful, but what will come will be difficult indeed.
"Amen!" some will cry aloud or in their hearts to this message to trust only God and not even those closest to us. Those who have experienced betrayal, neglect, and abuse in intimate relationships may cling to these words. Others, sitting in the pews with loving or at least good-enough families may cringe and want to cover their ears against these very same words. I think of the prisoners my friend ministered with who found the difficult stories of Genesis an opening to talk about their own experiences of the harm family members can do to each other. I think of the homeless woman who this past week shared with me her own story of bouncing around the foster care system as a child, where the families who were charged with her care often neglected and sometimes outright abused her. There are people in this world who know in their very bones how little even those closest to them may be trusted; for them, finding a way to place their trust in God can be a monumental step toward wholeness and new life. But this same message may sound like hard news for those who do love mother and father, daughter and son.
It is worth remembering that neither Jesus nor Paul had any notion of a family in which spouses shared the Christian faith and raised their children in it. Adult converts, not infants, were baptized into the faith. The gospel of Matthew and Paul's letter to the Romans come out of the earliest years of the formation of Christian communities that now have lasted for 2,000 years. We live in a world that has been profoundly shaped by Jesus' teaching. Sin still abounds, yes, but Christian communities and families have also sought to practice agape love with one another in every generation since Matthew and Romans were written. What was true in Matthew and Paul's day may not be true for everyone in the same way today. Even so all of us, no matter how loving our relationships, are called to place our ultimate trust and devotion in God. If we expect other people to fill the place of God in our lives, we do them a disservice and we fail in our love for them and for God. It may be worth reflecting on the ways we can place our trust or hope inappropriately in others: by expecting them to love us perfectly, to never get sick or make mistakes, to never die, to read our minds, to know and meet all our needs. Children may do all these things, but mature Christians know better (though all but the wisest may need reminding from time to time). When we give our hearts to God, we are freed to truly love other people as they are, not as we wish them to be.
An Alternate Application
Next Sunday, June 29, marks the beginning of Ramadan, and the story of Hagar and Ishmael invites reflection on the troubled family relationships among the three Abrahamic religions of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. More than one person has observed how our bitterest enemies are often those who are like us, not those who are different. Family grudges and hostilities can divide generations, where fallings-out among friends seldom persist for so long with such vigor. With sufficient planning, a guest speaker or preacher from an Islamic community may make sense for some congregations, while prayers for peace and unity among world religions may make sense for others. Peace-making efforts across religious lines in the Holy Land or elsewhere could be highlighted.
