Surviving Clergy Sexual Abuse
Illustration
Stories
Because you have made the Lord your refuge
the Most High your dwelling place,
no evil shall befall you,
no scourge come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways.
On their hands they will bear you up,
so that you will not dash your foot against a stone. (vv. 9-12)
It was August of 1967. I was sixteen years old, sophomore class president, sectional wrestling champion, and still basking in the afterglow of participating in the state tournament. It had been the best year of my young life. And I had no way of knowing that I was about to be "swallowed alive by a terrible evil that I could never have imagined existed in this world.
No one had heard of sexual predators in those days. There were men who "liked boys," and some who molested young girls, but they were always somewhere else, in a city far away, never in our world of Holsteins and feeder pigs in the American heartland, and certainly not in our little white-frame country church. It was unheard of and unthinkable, and, as we would all come to know; it was happening to thousands of boys and girls in country and city churches all over the world.
Yes, I am a survivor of clergy sexual abuse. I always knew it, but I didn't feel the pain of it until I was 42 years old. When it broke (another story) I began the long process of recovery. Sharing what happened with my wife, Jo, and others close to me, was the beginning of my healing. Therapy, weekly support group meetings with other survivors, and prayer has brought me to a good place in my life.
The post-traumatic episodes I suffered for over ten years are gone. The nightmares I had of my abusers (yes, there were two) have abated. I still see them in my dreams occasionally, but there is no more terror. I am also at a point of full forgiveness. I can pray for them and empathize with the pain in their lives that led them to sexually assault me and others.
I do not, of course, excuse their behavior. I held them publicly accountable in the church and the community. And I have moved on. I made a very conscious decision not to assume a victim/survivor identity. I have too many other things to do with my life.
Now it can be said, even by the Pope, whose predecessors like my own Protestant bishops have denied, minimalized, and covered up the damages while protecting the predators all of these years.
"Since his election, Pope Francis has offered new hope to victims, with a call for action on sex abuse in the church. Under his papacy, a Vatican committee has been set up to fight sexual abuse and help victims. In a report by Vatican Radio, the Pope asked for forgiveness for the 'evil' damage to children caused by sexual abusers in the clergy and said "sanctions" would be imposed." Protestant church leaders are at last also making new efforts to protect children from predator clergy.
It seemed so easy, so simple, when at last the truth of the horrors was spoken by this "shepherd of shepherds" to the unprotected, neglected, wounded souls who for years have been left outside the fold of the church.
Why did it take so long?
the Most High your dwelling place,
no evil shall befall you,
no scourge come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways.
On their hands they will bear you up,
so that you will not dash your foot against a stone. (vv. 9-12)
It was August of 1967. I was sixteen years old, sophomore class president, sectional wrestling champion, and still basking in the afterglow of participating in the state tournament. It had been the best year of my young life. And I had no way of knowing that I was about to be "swallowed alive by a terrible evil that I could never have imagined existed in this world.
No one had heard of sexual predators in those days. There were men who "liked boys," and some who molested young girls, but they were always somewhere else, in a city far away, never in our world of Holsteins and feeder pigs in the American heartland, and certainly not in our little white-frame country church. It was unheard of and unthinkable, and, as we would all come to know; it was happening to thousands of boys and girls in country and city churches all over the world.
Yes, I am a survivor of clergy sexual abuse. I always knew it, but I didn't feel the pain of it until I was 42 years old. When it broke (another story) I began the long process of recovery. Sharing what happened with my wife, Jo, and others close to me, was the beginning of my healing. Therapy, weekly support group meetings with other survivors, and prayer has brought me to a good place in my life.
The post-traumatic episodes I suffered for over ten years are gone. The nightmares I had of my abusers (yes, there were two) have abated. I still see them in my dreams occasionally, but there is no more terror. I am also at a point of full forgiveness. I can pray for them and empathize with the pain in their lives that led them to sexually assault me and others.
I do not, of course, excuse their behavior. I held them publicly accountable in the church and the community. And I have moved on. I made a very conscious decision not to assume a victim/survivor identity. I have too many other things to do with my life.
Now it can be said, even by the Pope, whose predecessors like my own Protestant bishops have denied, minimalized, and covered up the damages while protecting the predators all of these years.
"Since his election, Pope Francis has offered new hope to victims, with a call for action on sex abuse in the church. Under his papacy, a Vatican committee has been set up to fight sexual abuse and help victims. In a report by Vatican Radio, the Pope asked for forgiveness for the 'evil' damage to children caused by sexual abusers in the clergy and said "sanctions" would be imposed." Protestant church leaders are at last also making new efforts to protect children from predator clergy.
It seemed so easy, so simple, when at last the truth of the horrors was spoken by this "shepherd of shepherds" to the unprotected, neglected, wounded souls who for years have been left outside the fold of the church.
Why did it take so long?
