Addicted To Sin
Children's sermon
Illustration
Preaching
Sermon
Worship
In this week’s lectionary text from Romans, Paul laments his inability to completely live up to the standards of the Christian life. As he frames it: “I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” He goes on to add: “I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do” -- and that’s the textbook definition of sin. But as team member Dean Feldmeyer notes in this installment of The Immediate Word, that pattern of behavior is also endemic to various forms of addiction. Being unable to control our actions without the grace of a higher power is one of the bedrock assumptions of 12-step programs to overcome addiction -- and so, Dean wryly observes, we are addicted to sin itself. While addiction may be a thoroughly modern problem -- especially with the burgeoning epidemic of opioid abuse -- Paul reminds us that the underlying issues are timeless.
Team member Beth Herrinton-Hodge shares some additional thoughts on the Genesis text, and on the contrast between its account of the arranged marriage of Isaac and Rebekah and our modern notions of how marriages come together. Even so, Beth points out that the Bible is full of successful marriages -- so we might want to remember that learning to live and love together is something that happens even more so after the marriage ceremony than prior to it.
Addicted to Sin
by Dean Feldmeyer
Romans 7:15-25a; Matthew 11:16-19, 25-30
As the classic public service ad from the 1980s put it: “No one ever says, ‘I want to be a junkie when I grow up.’ ” It just happens, usually when we aren’t paying attention. People who work in the fields of addiction and compulsion call it the “cycle of addiction.” Briefly, it works like this:
* You feel rotten -- fear, anxiety, emotional pain, whatever.
* You take drugs or alcohol to feel better, which you do for a brief amount of time.
* You take more drugs or alcohol to extend the period of relief.
* Your use of drugs or alcohol becomes out of control and you can’t stop.
* You feel rotten for being addicted.
* So you take more drugs or alcohol to feel better, and on and on it goes.
The thing you don’t want to do, you do. The thing you want to do, you don’t do. Sound familiar? Sounds like what Paul is talking about in his letter to the church in Rome, doesn’t it? But Paul isn’t talking about heroin. He’s talking about sin -- and he’s framing it the same terms we use to describe the cycle of addiction: I’m separated and estranged from God and my neighbor. I feel ashamed and guilty because of that estrangement, and I don’t want God or my neighbor to know what a wretch I am. So I separate myself from them even further.
Yes (with apologies to Robert Palmer), we might as well face it... we’re addicted to sin.
In the News
In 1972 it was car crashes. In 1993 it was guns. In 1995 it was AIDS.
In 2017 it is drugs. Drug overdoses are now the leading cause of death for Americans under the age of 50. In the past ten years, opioid overdoses have killed more Americans than 20 years of war in Vietnam.
“The United States is in the midst of the worst drug addiction epidemic in its history," says Dr. Andrew Kolodny, co-director of opioid policy research at the Heller School for Social Policy and Management at Brandeis University. He is also co-founder and director of Physicians for Responsible Opioid Prescribing.
Why? Where did this horrible state of affairs come from? What is it about this place and time that make living so painful, that people are willing to risk their lives in order to dull the pain for just a short time with drugs that could kill them?
Some believe that the problem stems from overworked, hurried, and harried doctors overprescribing painkillers, and from patients who abuse or take advantage of the doctor’s kindness and concern or desire to solve the immediate problem and move on to the next patient. All we need to do, they say, is get doctors to stop prescribing so much opiate pain medication. But what of people with real and significant pain? Shall we let them suffer just to bring down the number of abusers?
Others believe that the blame falls upon drug manufacturers who do not give adequate warnings to physicians about the addictive potential of their products. More than a dozen states have filed lawsuits against pharmaceutical companies on this charge, and those cases are now working their way through the courts.
Is addiction a disease, as we have lately come to accept? Or is it a psychological disorder, as is argued by Dr. Lance Dodes in Psychology Today? Or is it simply a moral weakness, worthy of our contempt, as was believed by many in the first half of the 20th century?
Whatever the source and cause of addiction and addictive/compulsive behaviors, the current opioid crisis has brought many of us to question our own behavior.
Am I an addict? Am I a compulsive gambler, shopper, eater? Am I addicted to alcohol, caffeine, sex, work? And how do I know if I’m an addict? And if I am, how do I break the cycle of addiction?
Family physician Dr. Jill Grimes says that “If the thought of giving up a habit for a week produces anxiety, then you may have a problem,” and may want to consider seeing a professional counselor.
Psychiatrist Dr. Mike Dow suggests asking yourself four questions:
1) Have I ever asked myself if I need to cut back?
2) Have I ever become annoyed or angry with someone who suggested that I cut back?
3) Have I ever felt guilty about the amount I use?
4) Have I ever felt like I needed it, especially first thing in the morning?
If you answer yes to even one of these questions, talking to a counselor or a mental health professional may be in order.
A seminary professor of mine who taught pastoral care and counseling said this: “If drinking alcohol is creating a series of serious problems in your life and you keep drinking anyway, you’re an alcoholic.” He said the same measure applies to any behavior -- if it causes you problems and you keep doing it anyway, you are an addict, or at the very least a compulsive.
It sounds, does it not, very much like what Paul is talking about to the Christians in Rome in his exhaustive (and sometimes exhausting) letter.
In the Scriptures
Paul begins “I don’t understand my own behavior.”
Well, he won’t have to look far to find people who can relate, huh? Most of us, at one time or another, act or behave in ways that puzzle even us.
What was I thinking? I did what? I said it, and as it was coming out of my mouth I heard myself trying to stop and I couldn’t. One more won’t hurt. I’ll quit tomorrow. Every time I lit a cigarette, I felt stupid. And yet I still kept lighting those cigarettes.
We do stupid, short-sighted, mean, hateful, unthinking things, and we know -- even when we are doing them --that they are wrong, but we do them anyway and hate ourselves for doing them.
Why?
Why do I do the thing that I don’t want to do and leave undone the very things that I want to do?
Paul offers an answer: Sin. That is, separation, estrangement from God, each other, creation, and even our own potential and authentic selves. And that Sin (note the uppercase “S”) is not something we do or something we put on like a jacket. It is a state of being. It dwells within us; it is part of who we are. We are, as human beings, essentially separated.
And not only are we separated from all that we love and value, we are constantly making that separation greater and wider. Why? How?
Well, the problem is the Law. (Again with the uppercase? Oh yes.)
We are estranged -- and we know we are estranged, especially from God. And we know that we know... etc. So we try to solve the problem ourselves by using the Law. We will, we say, obey the law. We will be perfect in the law. We will observe every jot and tittle, every letter and implication, every intention and purpose of the law. We will be perfect... in the law.
And then God will have no choice but to reach across that great divide, that great separation that yawns like a chasm between God and me, and accept me, love me, and bring me into God’s embrace. God will simply have no choice. I will see to it.
But it doesn’t work, does it? Because in trying to manipulate, force, require, and make God act the way I desire, I have only made the separation worse. I have imagined that I am more powerful than God, and in doing so I have pushed God away as surely as if I had dug the divide with my own shovel.
And wretched man that I am, says Paul, who will rescue me from this horrible state of affairs? Only one: “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord.” It is not by my acts, by my perfect observance of the law that I am made acceptable to God, but by God’s grace as it comes to me in Jesus Christ.
In the Sermon
Grace does not strike us when we have made ourselves perfect by our slavish devotion to the law, when we have become so good that God has no choice but to accept us, for that is simply not possible. In trying to force God’s hand, we place ourselves above God and drive God further away.
When does grace strike? In The Shaking of the Foundations, Paul Tillich described it like this:
Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness. It strikes us when we walk through the dark valley of a meaningless and empty life. It strikes us when we feel that our separation is deeper than usual, because we have violated another life, a life which we loved, or from which we were estranged. It strikes us when our disgust for our own being, our indifference, our weakness, our hostility, and our lack of direction and composure have become intolerable to us. It strikes when, year after year, the longed-for perfection of life does not appear, when the old compulsions reign within us as they have for decades, when despair destroys all joy and courage.
Ten years ago I had never heard the word “opioid.”
Heroin was the drug of choice for the lowest of the low, those who had given up on themselves, on God, on life. Cocaine? Well, sure, wealthy people called it “nose candy” and everyone knew that you could get in trouble with it, but it wasn’t going to kill anyone except maybe the most extreme cases. And there was ecstasy, the disco drug, the party drug. And speed, methamphetamine, crank -- the drug of choice for rural tweakers and college students who wanted to stay up and cram for finals, but it did such horrible things to your appearance that, well not many wanted to go there.
There was crack, rock cocaine, but that was confined mainly to the ghetto, right? And weed was relegated pretty much, to the same level of danger as caffeine or nicotine and it didn’t give you cancer, at least that anyone knew of. Oxycontin might have been fun, but it carried that horrible image of “hillbilly heroin,” so it never really hit its stride except for those chronic pain sufferers who became addicted almost by accident.
But wasn’t the war on drugs pretty much over? Hadn’t that fight been basically won?
I mean, even Hollywood was on board, right?
Before most of us were born, the sad life of the drug addict was depicted by Frank Sinatra in The Man with the Golden Arm, and the slow descent of a couple into alcoholism was realistically depicted by Jack Lemmon and Lee Remick in Days of Wine and Roses. Way back in 1969, the movie Easy Rider opened with the song “The Pusher.” Written by country music legend Hoyt Axton and recorded by Steppenwolf, it asked God to damn the pusher of hard drugs, a “monster” who doesn’t care “if you live or if you die.” More recently, Trainspotting took us to the depths of depravity experienced by young adults addicted to heroin, and Drugstore Cowboy led us through the desperate and depressing culture of drug abuse of all kinds.
While movies may have convinced some people to not start using drugs, however, it is probably the case that they never convinced anyone to give up drugs.
That is done, we now know, through intervention. It happens, if it happens at all, when those who love and care for the addict come together and intervene in the addictive behavior by confronting him or her with the behavior that they have been tolerating, the behavior that has been destroying the family, crushing friendships, embarrassing loved ones, and estranging the user from everyone whom he or she once loved or cared about. It happens when those people lovingly but firmly intervene in the self-destructive behavior of the addict or compulsive.
But what about when our addiction is to Sin? What shall happen to us when we are addicted to that cycle of estrangement and separation that leads us further and further away from God, from our loved ones and friends, from the creation, and even from ourselves?
Oh, wretched person that I am, who will intervene for me? Who will rescue me from this cycle of sin and estrangement?
Again, Tillich provides an answer:
Sometimes at that moment a wave of light breaks into our darkness and it is as though a voice were saying: “You are accepted. You are accepted. Accepted by that which is greater than you.... Simply accept the fact that you are accepted!” If that happens to us, we experience grace. After such an experience we may not be better than before, and we may not believe more than before, but still, everything is transformed. In that moment grace conquers sin, and reconciliation bridges the gulf of estrangement.
And Paul responds: “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!”
SECOND THOUGHTS
by Beth Herrinton-Hodge
Genesis 24:34-38, 42-29, 58-67; Psalm 45:10-17; Song of Solomon 2:8-13
The narrative about the match-up between Abraham’s son Isaac and the daughter of Abraham’s people fills the whole of Genesis 24. The selected verses in this Sunday’s lections abbreviate the narrative. In verse 34 we meet Abraham’s servant, who has been sent on a mission to find a suitable and agreeing wife for his master’s son.
Marriage in that time was a transactional relationship -- typically arranged by family or tribal members to maintain or strengthen familial or tribal connections. In many cases, a groom or his agent would travel to a location to secure a bride. He would meet the parents of the girl/woman that he would marry, and details of an engagement and marriage would be agreed upon. Often gifts were exchanged. In this case, Rebekah received rings and bracelets. The bride would leave her family to go with the groom or his agent and belong to the family of her husband. Upon returning to the groom’s home, the marriage would be consummated. Similar meeting patterns appear in the stories of Jacob and Rachel (Genesis 29:1-20) and Moses and Jethro’s daughters (Exodus 2:15-21).
Arranged marriages such as these did not rely on love, attraction, and feelings of bliss. Marriage served more utilitarian purposes, which included strengthening familial or tribal alliances, maintaining lines of inheritance, begetting offspring, and securing dowry such as livestock, cash, and land. The modern concepts of attraction and love didn’t enter the picture.
Even though this scene between Isaac and Rebekah details an arranged marriage, there are hints of budding interest between the two. In vv. 62-67, Isaac saw a caravan of camels moving across the desert toward him; he began walking toward it. Did he know his bride was coming to him? Rebekah, upon seeing a man walking across the field toward them, inquired as to who he was. When she learned that the man was the servant’s master -- the one she was to marry -- she came down from her camel and covered herself with a veil. Her dismount may have been an act of honor due a man of importance. Her veil was a symbolic act of a free-born woman. She had been brought to this place, not as a servant or slave, but as one who consented to come.
Jewish marriage ceremonies today include elements from the wooing of Rebekah. Prior to the processional, the Jewish bride covers herself with a veil as Rebekah did. More than an act of modesty, the veiling symbolizes the central importance of looking upon the soul and character of the person one marries rather than on physical appearance. Under the Chuppah, the groom lifts the veil and recites the blessing given to Rebekah by her brother: “Our sister, may you be the mother of thousands of ten thousands” (Genesis 24:60).
When reading the Genesis text, paired with both Psalm 45 and Song of Solomon 2, we find expressions of passion and joy-filled love. The love song of Psalm 45 is unique within the psalter. A princess is decked out in her chamber, awaiting the king who will call to her. The Song of Solomon gives a glimpse into the longing of a young woman whose beloved is absent. The words and imagery in these two texts let us know that longing, imagination, emotion, and passion are not missing from the Bible. Nor do modern readers need to squash our passions in favor of dry, transactional marriages.
The Bible is full of loving, edifying, satisfying marriages: Abraham and Sarah, Jacob and Rachel, Moses and Zipporah, Ruth and Boaz, Elizabeth and Zechariah, Mary and Joseph. We don’t know all the details about the courtships of these couples. Some of these marriages were arranged. Some endured struggle even to the point of break-up (or almost breaking up). What we find consistent is that love, commitment, and endurance in these relationships grew over time.
I’m reminded of the storyline in Fiddler on the Roof. After 25 years of marriage, Tevye asks Golde if she loves him. The couple has endured poverty and hard work; they have born and reared children; they built a life together. Whatever brought them together initially -- whether it was an arranged marriage, or a marriage of attraction and passion -- these details have long passed. “Do I love you? After all of this... I guess I do.”
The challenge of living and loving together, of laughing, crying, struggling, and overcoming together... these are the marks of love and marriage. Isaac and Rebekah have yet to learn this truth. Love is not what brought them together. But love is what will grow between them as they assume their place in the Patriarchy, following the deceased Sarah and the aged Abraham.
ILLUSTRATIONS
From team member Ron Love:
Genesis 24:34-38, 42-29, 58-67
When the USS Fitzgerald was rammed by a Philippine container ship, the birthing compartments on the destroyer, located below sea level, immediately flooded. Brayden Harden, 19, was knocked out of his bunk by the impact, but the men sleeping on the bunks above and below him died. Harden made it to safety and could have remained there, but instead he continued to rescue sailors below deck. He kept diving to reach trapped sailors until there were no longer any air pockets, and he had to cease his efforts.
Application: There is no end to the sacrifices we make for love.
*****
Song of Solomon 2:8-13
Emanuel AME Church of Charleston, South Carolina suffered the death of nine parishioners in a mass killing by Dylan Roof. As a reminder that good triumphs over evil, last year the church planted 15 trees on its front lawn -- one each in remembrance of the nine who were killed, the five others who were wounded and survived, and the church’s congregation. The message the trees convey is that love prevails over hate.
Application: We should always be singing a song of love.
*****
Song of Solomon 2:8-13
Emanuel AME Church of Charleston, South Carolina is the oldest African Methodist Episcopal church in the South, with a strong heritage of freedom and tolerance. In 1822 one of the church’s founders, Denmark Vesey, led a slave revolt. As a result, he was executed and the church was burned to the ground and closed for decades. But it eventually emerged from the ashes with the same message of freedom and tolerance. Michael Arad, the designer of the 9/11 Memorial in New York City, has been selected to design a memorial in remembrance of the nine parishioners killed in a June 17, 2015 massacre. The church’s pastor, Rev. Eric Manning, said of the memorial: “If we are able to shine a light on the beauty, resiliency, and love that was shown by the members of this congregation and the community of Charleston, we will succeed in showing the best of humankind in the wake of the worst.”
Application: We should always be singing a song of love.
*****
Song of Solomon 2:8-13
Danica Patrick, 35, is a NASCAR superstar. On a recent visit to Boston, she promoted racing and the importance of women in history. As she visited various historic sites with schoolchildren, telling them of the great accomplishments of women in history, she made it a point to greet every child in the group and any tourist who reached out to her. Of her trip to Boston, Patrick said: “Days like today, when you hear that you’re an inspiration, that’s the good part. That makes the work, which is sometimes frustrating, worth it.”
Application: We are to show love whenever we can.
*****
Zechariah 9:9-12
Emanuel AME Church of Charleston, South Carolina suffered the death of nine parishioners in a mass killing by Dylan Roof on June 17, 2015. Since then many tourists come each Sunday to worship with the congregation. The congregation’s pastor, Rev. Eric Manning, used to greet each visitor by name between hymns and the sermon. But since so many visitors are now present the introductions became too lengthy, detracting from the worship experience. So now visitors are welcomed as a group at the start of the service, including a short song: “Emmanuel, God is with us. Emmanuel. In Him we trust. We welcome you to this holy place. We welcome you with our warm embrace. We welcome you, we welcome you to Emmanuel.” Of this decision Manning said: “I did not want worship to become a spectator sport.”
Application: Our lesson teaches us to always be rejoicing.
*****
Romans 7:15-25a
In a Blondie comic strip, Blondie asks her husband Dagwood: “Do you ever miss being footloose and fancy-free?” Dagwood is confused by this, replying that he never was footloose and fancy-free, only to be corrected by Blondie that he was. The next morning, in the car pool with three others, the puzzled look on Dagwood’s face causes the driver to ask Dagwood what’s on his mind. Perplexed, Dagwood answers: “Apparently I was footloose and fancy-free but I never realized it.”
Application: It can be difficult to always understand our behavior.
*****
Romans 7:15-25a
The towering inferno of the 24-story apartment building Grenfell Tower in London has claimed nearly 100 lives. The fire spread so rapidly that no one had time to escape. The inferno was caused by a remodeling project that did not use fire-resistant material. In order to give the building a sleek look and be energy-efficient an outside casing was installed made of two thin aluminum sheets with a plastic core. It is inexpensive -- but also is not to be used on buildings taller than 40 feet.
Application: Sometimes our evil actions are a mysterious to us, and other times we are just plain and simply evil.
*****
Romans 7:15-25a
Danica Patrick, 35, is a NASCAR superstar. As such, many people want to get her autograph while others are intent on denouncing her. Recently at the race in Pocono, Pennsylvania, a fan got over the barricade and harassed and booed her. Patrick stormed over to the fan and said “I’m a person, too. I have feelings. When you boo me, it hurts my feelings!” Of course, the incident was caught on social media and instantly went viral. Of the incident Patrick said: “But every now and again they just catch you in a moment. And I had a moment.”
Application: Paul notes that each of us has “a moment.”
*****
Romans 7:15-25a
The Secret Service has a long-standing practice of assigning code names to the presidents and presidential candidates they have sworn to protect. President George W. Bush was “Tumbler.” This was the code name assigned to him when his father was president, reflective of his behavior prior to his life-changing encounter with evangelist Billy Graham. His father, George H. W. Bush, was “Timberwolf,” respectful of his Texas heritage. Ronald Reagan was “Rawhide,” the true cowboy who occupied the Oval Office. Bill Clinton was “Eagle,” and his wife Hillary still carries the designation “Evergreen.” Jimmy Carter was “Deacon,” acknowledging his position as a Sunday school teacher. New England roots defined John Kerry with the word “Minuteman.” Barack Obama, the only 2008 presidential candidate to be afforded Secret Service protection, is called “Renegade.” Dick Cheney is “Angler.” Al Gore was referred to as “Sawhorse.” After countless protests on his part it was changed to “Sundance,” a designation he found equally objectionable.
Application: We should be cognizant of how our behavior and actions affect the name we want to be referred by.
*****
Matthew 11:16-19, 25-30
After President Donald Trump announced the U.S. withdrawal from the Paris agreement for climate control, Ban Ki-moon, the former Secretary General of the United Nations, spoke out against Trump and his decision. Ban said that Trump should stand “on the right side of history” and once again join the Paris accord. Ban said Trump’s decision was “misguided” and represented “a short-term vision.”
Application: It would appear that Trump continues in a state of not knowing if he wants someone who does not dance or one who dances too much. We too should be mindful that we are clear in our objectives.
***************
From team member Mary Austin:
Genesis 24:34-38, 42-29, 58-67
Arranged Marriage, the Modern Way
As the story of the patriarchs and matriarchs continues, it’s time to find a wife for Isaac. Abraham sends his trusted servant back to his home area to seek a wife. When Farahad Zama tells the story of his arranged marriage, there was a geographic requirement also. Twenty years ago, when he was a young software engineer, his mother asked about his list of requirements for a bride. “Whoever you choose,” he answered, recalling that “I was a well-brought-up boy, after all. Further conversation followed. My mother was adamant that I should be married only to a local Vizag girl. ‘Why?’ I asked. I knew that the girl my parents selected would be of the same religion and similar economic and social circumstances, and that made sense, but this requirement of a local girl was a new wrinkle.”
“Looking back,” Zama says, “I can see that my mother was unusually clear-headed and prescient. The software industry in India was in its early days and still quite small. The movers and shakers of big companies in the West weren’t easily convinced that these mustachioed men with ill-fitting suits and funny accents, from a country better known for its poverty, sacred cows, and fakirs, could build sophisticated computer systems. But my mother said: ‘Your job will grow and take you all round the globe. You will come to India for two weeks each year, and it is only natural that while you want to spend time with us, your wife will want to visit her own parents. I don’t want your limited holidays split between two towns and wasted in traveling from place to place.’ I could see the logic in that and I finally had a requirement of my own. I wanted a college graduate who could speak English. My mother and sister knew just the girl -- our neighbor’s niece.”
It was arranged for the couple to look each other over briefly, and then the wedding was set. Zama says, “Most American couples know a lot about each other before they tie the knot. They’ve been on dates, fallen in love, fought, made up, had sex, and most probably even lived together before going down the aisle. Our story, of course, is different. That 45-minute meeting was our only contact before we were husband and wife. We went to movies and the beach, fought over important and trivial things, made up and fell in love -- all after our wedding. ‘How could you marry somebody you did not know?’ is a common question that many people have asked us in the West. The slow discovery of another person and the unraveling of layers of mystery are part of the fun of arranged marriage.”
“This has to be true of all marriages,” Zama says, but the discovery process is different in an arranged marriage. He doesn’t know if he and his wife had met in a more Western way, if they would have fallen in love and married. “What I am sure about is that our marriage, arranged with other considerations in mind, took us from acquaintance to love and kept us together until we realized that our differences are the yin and yang that make our relationship whole. Now we consider ourselves absolutely perfect for each other.”
*****
Genesis 24:34-38, 42-29, 58-67
Arranged Marriage, the Even More Modern Way
As time and cultural values change, even arranged marriages are changing according to Sanjena Sathian. People from India are still most likely to marry someone else who has Indian heritage, but matchmakers and even apps do the arranging now.
“Trisha Gill, a 27-year-old nurse practitioner in Los Angeles, started looking around at the man market last year. She knew what she wanted: a Sikh, like her; someone from a good family, with a good education. Someone funny. And someone, preferably, in L.A. She found her fiancé, Sanju Sembhi, who ticked all the boxes except the whole local thing -- he lives near Philadelphia. Gill and 30-year-old Sembhi used the app Dil Mil.... They’re modern millennials.” Gill insisted that her parents not send around her picture and marital profile to potential matches.
“And yet, their story has a hint of the old in it. Their courtship was a 21st-century version of an epistolary romance: They communicated across the country for a few months and spent a total of just six days together in person before Sembhi asked for Gill’s hand. Dil Mil, which roughly means ‘to meet one’s heart,’ itself has some traditional bits to it: In addition to Facebook photos or LinkedIn connections, one selects religious preferences and even indicates from which state within India one’s family hails.”
Sathian notes that for “lonely and satisfied hearts back in India: Things are changing as cities boom and women work. (It’s worth noting, of course, that some three-quarters of all Indians still prefer arranged marriages, according to a 2013 survey by the Taj Wedding Barometer.)” Wells and camels have been replaced in the panoply of ways marriages come about, but the arranged marriage still has value for many people.
*****
Genesis 24:34-38, 42-29, 58-67
Wedding Customs
Rebekah gets a nose ring and two bracelets as an opening gift, plus much more jewelry when the betrothal is sealed. Her family also receives gifts from Abraham’s emissary. In our time, according to the wedding site The Knot, “70 percent of all brides sport the traditional diamond on the fourth finger of their left hand.” The tradition started with wealthy Venetians toward the end of the 15th century, who used diamonds set in gold or silver as betrothal rings. Further, “in the symbolic language of jewels, a sapphire in a wedding ring means marital happiness.” A pearl engagement ring is considered bad luck, as the pearl shape echoes the shape of a tear. Customs change. “Snake rings dotted with ruby eyes were popular wedding bands in Victorian England -- the coils winding into a circle symbolized eternity.” Wedding jewelry is a big business. “Seventeen tons of gold are made into wedding rings each year in the United States.”
*****
Genesis 24:34-38, 42-29, 58-67
Elaborate Proposals
The long journey of Abraham’s trusted servant to find a bride for Isaac has a modern echo in the imaginative proposals that some people create in our time. Going down on one knee with a ring box in hand seems too simple for some people, who stage very elaborate proposals.
“A mysterious sand art installation was spotted at Ocean Beach, California. An elaborate pattern contained the words, ‘Will you marry me Kelly?’ After the pictures were posted at the San Francisco 7x7 magazine blog, readers identified the couple. The sand imprint was created by artist Andres Amador, who was commissioned by Jason Fordley, who ‘might well be the most romantic man in San Francisco.’ The question was directed to Kelly Riplinger, who only saw the huge message when the couple climbed to the top of a nearby hill. (She said yes.) The proposal was followed by a city tour, dinner, and a beach party with their friends.” How about a magician? “For his big moment, Arvin approached magician Dan Trommater for help with his proposal. He took Cindy on a walk and just happened to catch a street performance, where Trommater directed Arvin to get down on one knee to help him conjure up a ‘magic box’ that held an engagement ring. It was a complete surprise to Cindy, who accepted.” Or there’s always Twitter. “The first known marriage proposal by Twitter happened on March 2, 2008, when Greg Rewis proposed to Stephanie Sullivan. She replied with a Tweet of her own, accepting the offer. Since then, many online geeks have sealed the deal on Twitter.”
One downside is that things don’t always go as planned. “Reed Harris planned a creative proposal for Kaitlyn Whipple by planting a ring in her milkshake. She was supposed to be surprised when she reached the bottom of the shake, but there was no ring. She had swallowed it! The couple went to a hospital, and x-rays confirmed that Whipple had the ring inside her. Harris then proposed by presenting Whipple with the x-ray evidence. She accepted, and the ring, uh, appeared two days later.” (Eeew.)
WORSHIP RESOURCES
by George Reed
Call to Worship
Leader: God is gracious and merciful and is slow to anger.
People: God is abounding in steadfast love.
Leader: God is good to all, with compassion over all creation.
People: All your works shall give thanks to you, O God.
Leader: Our God upholds all who are falling.
People: God raises up all who are bowed down.
OR
Leader: Come to the God who calls us to life and freedom.
People: We are afraid to come to God because of our sin.
Leader: Our sin is already known to God, and God stills loves us.
People: God loves us even in our sin? That is strong love.
Leader: God’s love is enough to free us from our sin.
People: We come to receive that awesome gift of God’s grace.
Hymns and Sacred Songs
“Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah”
found in:
UMH: 127
H82: 690
PH: 281
AAHH: 138, 139, 140
NNBH: 232
NCH: 18, 19
CH: 622
LBW: 343
ELA: 618
W&P: 501
AMEC: 52, 53, 65
“Lift High the Cross”
found in:
UMH: 159
H82: 473
PH: 371
AAHH: 242
NCH: 198
CH: 108
LBW: 377
ELA: 660
W&P: 287
Renew: 297
“Pues Si Vivimos” (“When We Are Living”)
found in:
UMH: 356
PH: 400
NCH: 499
CH: 536
ELA: 639
W&P: 415
“Amazing Grace”
found in:
UMH: 378
H82: 671
PH: 280
AAHH: 271, 272
NNBH: 161, 163
NCH: 547, 548
CH: 546
LBW: 448
ELA: 779
W&P: 422
AMEC: 226
STLT: 205, 206
Renew: 189
“This Is a Day of New Beginnings”
found in:
UMH: 383
NCH: 417
CH: 518
W&P: 355
“Precious Lord, Take My Hand”
found in:
UMH: 474
PH: 404
AAHH: 471
NCH: 472
CH: 628
ELA: 773
W&P: 500
AMEC: 393
STLT: 199
“Come, My Way, My Truth, My Life”
found in:
UMH: 163
H82: 487
ELA: 816
“How Like a Gentle Spirit”
found in:
UMH: 115
NCH: 443
CH: 69
“God, You Are My God”
found in:
CCB: 60
“I Exalt You”
found in:
CCB: 34
Renew: 44
Music Resources Key:
UMH: United Methodist Hymnal
H82: The Hymnal 1982 (The Episcopal Church)
PH: Presbyterian Hymnal
AAHH: African-American Heritage Hymnal
NNBH: The New National Baptist Hymnal
NCH: The New Century Hymnal
CH: Chalice Hymnal
LBW: Lutheran Book of Worship
ELA: Evangelical Lutheran Worship
W&P: Worship & Praise
AMEC: African Methodist Episcopal Church Hymnal
STLT: Singing the Living Tradition
CCB: Cokesbury Chorus Book
Renew: Renew! Songs & Hymns for Blended Worship
Prayer for the Day / Collect
O God who is life and freedom: Grant us the grace to turn to you to find freedom from the sin that binds us; through Jesus Christ our Savior. Amen.
OR
We praise you, O God, because you are life itself and in you is true freedom. As you come among us this day, fill us with your Spirit so that we may find in you freedom from the sin that binds us up tightly. Amen.
Prayer of Confession
Leader: Let us confess to God and before one another our sins, and especially our willingness to stay chained to our sins.
People: We confess to you, O God, and before one another that we have sinned. We have done those things we ought not to have done, and we have left undone those things we ought to have done. We know this and yet our behavior seldom changes, or when it does not for very long. We are ashamed to admit our failures to anyone else, and often we are ashamed to admit them even to ourselves. We decide that what we are doing isn’t really that bad. At least it is not as bad as others are doing. And we really do things that are worthwhile, and that offsets the bad, right? But you know us, O God, and know what we could become if we allowed your grace to wash over us and renew us. So here we are. Wash us in your grace and renew us in mind and Spirit. Break our addiction to our sin. Amen.
Leader: God knows our frame and how easily we become addicted to what we know is harmful to us. Receive God’s love and grace, and be filled with God’s life-giving, life-renewing Spirit.
Prayers of the People (and the Lord’s Prayer)
We praise you, O God, for we are wondrously made in your image. We are your children and the bearers of your Spirit.
(The following paragraph may be used if a separate prayer of confession has not been used.)
We confess to you, O God, and before one another that we have sinned. We have done those things we ought not to have done, and we have left undone those things we ought to have done. We know this and yet our behavior seldom changes, or when it does not for very long. We are ashamed to admit our failures to anyone else, and often we are ashamed to admit them even to ourselves. We decide that what we are doing isn’t really that bad. At least it is not as bad as others are doing. And we really do things that are worthwhile, and that offsets the bad, right? But you know us, O God, and know what we could become if we allowed your grace to wash over us and renew us. So here we are. Wash us in your grace and renew us in mind and Spirit. Break our addiction to our sin.
We thank you for your grace that ever surrounds us and holds us in your love. We thank you for your Spirit that you pour out upon all creation and into each of us.
(Other thanksgivings may be offered.)
We pray for all your children. We pray especially for the grace that breaks the downward spiral of sin and releases us to new life and to new heights.
(Other intercessions may be offered.)
All these things we ask in the name of our Savior Jesus Christ, who taught us to pray together, saying:
Our Father . . . Amen.
(or if the Lord’s Prayer is not used at this point in the service)
All this we ask in the Name of the Blessed and Holy Trinity. Amen.
Children’s Sermon Starter
Sometimes we might be playing and we know it is time to stop and get ready for dinner or get ready for bed, but we are having so much fun that we just play a little longer. It is fun until one of our parents comes to get us and they are not happy that we did not come when they called the first time. Now it is not so much fun. There are lots of things that may seem like fun at the time, but they are not good for us... or at least not if we have too much. Ice cream is good, but it isn’t good if we eat it for every meal. All though life we need to be aware that even good things can have bad ends so that we can avoid them.
CHILDREN’S SERMON
Recalculating
by Chris Keating
Matthew 11:16-19, 25-30
Gather ahead of time:
* Images of yokes used to tether oxen
* The GPS function on a smartphone
* (Option: if you want to have some fun, record your voice imitating the computer-generated voices of GPS devices saying, “Recalculating! Recalculating!”)
Background:
Jesus’ words in Matthew 11:16-19, 25-30 are spoken to a people confused and uncertain who and what to follow. They have seen John come to them preaching a rather disciplined message of restraint and serious awareness of how God’s kingdom was emerging. Jesus, on the other hand, comes living a more joyful, almost party-like way of faith. Yet neither message seemed to resonate with the generation of Jesus’ listeners, who just don’t seem to know how to follow.
With this background, think of how you can use the image of an oxen’s yoke to explain the path of Christian discipleship. Jesus calls us to follow by placing the yoke on our shoulders -- but unlike the yoke used by animals, the burden of discipleship is freeing. It recalculates our lives, and helps us go in the direction that will be most helpful for us.
Message:
After the children gather, say something like “Have you ever gone on a car trip where your mom or dad missed a turn? Did you end up going a different way?” Sometimes our sense of direction is a little mixed-up. Years ago we depended on maps to help us find our way, but nearly all of the children present will know what it means to use a GPS for directions. But even these handy little satellite systems in our pockets can be confusing!
But when we miss our turns, our GPS’ friendly voice from the sky says to us, “Recalculating!”
Pretend to use your cellphone as a GPS device. Try and find something (like the pulpit or a lectern) but act confused, and deliberately go the wrong direction. Ask the children if they know where the pulpit is. Act surprised, then say, “We better turn around!” and then say “Recalculating!”
Show the children images of a yoke used by farmers on cattle. Tell them that this is an ancient tool that helped the animals do what the farmer needed them to do. Without a yoke, they could not have pulled heavy loads. In a sense, a yoke was a bit like a GPS. It helped “recalculate” the path for the animals so they could do the job the farmer needed them to do.
Jesus looked at the confused and distraught crowds who were following him. He asked them to change direction, and to recalculate their lives by accepting his yoke. Unlike the yokes farmers use, Jesus’ yoke brings freedom and rest by assuring us that God will recalculate our lives.
Prayer: Jesus, thank you for offering us your yoke, which keeps us connected to you and to God. You offer us rest, and show us the way of true happiness and peace. Help us to follow you. Amen.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Immediate Word, July 9, 2017, issue.
Copyright 2017 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to The Immediate Word service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons and in worship and classroom settings only. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., 5450 N. Dixie Highway, Lima, Ohio 45807.
Team member Beth Herrinton-Hodge shares some additional thoughts on the Genesis text, and on the contrast between its account of the arranged marriage of Isaac and Rebekah and our modern notions of how marriages come together. Even so, Beth points out that the Bible is full of successful marriages -- so we might want to remember that learning to live and love together is something that happens even more so after the marriage ceremony than prior to it.
Addicted to Sin
by Dean Feldmeyer
Romans 7:15-25a; Matthew 11:16-19, 25-30
As the classic public service ad from the 1980s put it: “No one ever says, ‘I want to be a junkie when I grow up.’ ” It just happens, usually when we aren’t paying attention. People who work in the fields of addiction and compulsion call it the “cycle of addiction.” Briefly, it works like this:
* You feel rotten -- fear, anxiety, emotional pain, whatever.
* You take drugs or alcohol to feel better, which you do for a brief amount of time.
* You take more drugs or alcohol to extend the period of relief.
* Your use of drugs or alcohol becomes out of control and you can’t stop.
* You feel rotten for being addicted.
* So you take more drugs or alcohol to feel better, and on and on it goes.
The thing you don’t want to do, you do. The thing you want to do, you don’t do. Sound familiar? Sounds like what Paul is talking about in his letter to the church in Rome, doesn’t it? But Paul isn’t talking about heroin. He’s talking about sin -- and he’s framing it the same terms we use to describe the cycle of addiction: I’m separated and estranged from God and my neighbor. I feel ashamed and guilty because of that estrangement, and I don’t want God or my neighbor to know what a wretch I am. So I separate myself from them even further.
Yes (with apologies to Robert Palmer), we might as well face it... we’re addicted to sin.
In the News
In 1972 it was car crashes. In 1993 it was guns. In 1995 it was AIDS.
In 2017 it is drugs. Drug overdoses are now the leading cause of death for Americans under the age of 50. In the past ten years, opioid overdoses have killed more Americans than 20 years of war in Vietnam.
“The United States is in the midst of the worst drug addiction epidemic in its history," says Dr. Andrew Kolodny, co-director of opioid policy research at the Heller School for Social Policy and Management at Brandeis University. He is also co-founder and director of Physicians for Responsible Opioid Prescribing.
Why? Where did this horrible state of affairs come from? What is it about this place and time that make living so painful, that people are willing to risk their lives in order to dull the pain for just a short time with drugs that could kill them?
Some believe that the problem stems from overworked, hurried, and harried doctors overprescribing painkillers, and from patients who abuse or take advantage of the doctor’s kindness and concern or desire to solve the immediate problem and move on to the next patient. All we need to do, they say, is get doctors to stop prescribing so much opiate pain medication. But what of people with real and significant pain? Shall we let them suffer just to bring down the number of abusers?
Others believe that the blame falls upon drug manufacturers who do not give adequate warnings to physicians about the addictive potential of their products. More than a dozen states have filed lawsuits against pharmaceutical companies on this charge, and those cases are now working their way through the courts.
Is addiction a disease, as we have lately come to accept? Or is it a psychological disorder, as is argued by Dr. Lance Dodes in Psychology Today? Or is it simply a moral weakness, worthy of our contempt, as was believed by many in the first half of the 20th century?
Whatever the source and cause of addiction and addictive/compulsive behaviors, the current opioid crisis has brought many of us to question our own behavior.
Am I an addict? Am I a compulsive gambler, shopper, eater? Am I addicted to alcohol, caffeine, sex, work? And how do I know if I’m an addict? And if I am, how do I break the cycle of addiction?
Family physician Dr. Jill Grimes says that “If the thought of giving up a habit for a week produces anxiety, then you may have a problem,” and may want to consider seeing a professional counselor.
Psychiatrist Dr. Mike Dow suggests asking yourself four questions:
1) Have I ever asked myself if I need to cut back?
2) Have I ever become annoyed or angry with someone who suggested that I cut back?
3) Have I ever felt guilty about the amount I use?
4) Have I ever felt like I needed it, especially first thing in the morning?
If you answer yes to even one of these questions, talking to a counselor or a mental health professional may be in order.
A seminary professor of mine who taught pastoral care and counseling said this: “If drinking alcohol is creating a series of serious problems in your life and you keep drinking anyway, you’re an alcoholic.” He said the same measure applies to any behavior -- if it causes you problems and you keep doing it anyway, you are an addict, or at the very least a compulsive.
It sounds, does it not, very much like what Paul is talking about to the Christians in Rome in his exhaustive (and sometimes exhausting) letter.
In the Scriptures
Paul begins “I don’t understand my own behavior.”
Well, he won’t have to look far to find people who can relate, huh? Most of us, at one time or another, act or behave in ways that puzzle even us.
What was I thinking? I did what? I said it, and as it was coming out of my mouth I heard myself trying to stop and I couldn’t. One more won’t hurt. I’ll quit tomorrow. Every time I lit a cigarette, I felt stupid. And yet I still kept lighting those cigarettes.
We do stupid, short-sighted, mean, hateful, unthinking things, and we know -- even when we are doing them --that they are wrong, but we do them anyway and hate ourselves for doing them.
Why?
Why do I do the thing that I don’t want to do and leave undone the very things that I want to do?
Paul offers an answer: Sin. That is, separation, estrangement from God, each other, creation, and even our own potential and authentic selves. And that Sin (note the uppercase “S”) is not something we do or something we put on like a jacket. It is a state of being. It dwells within us; it is part of who we are. We are, as human beings, essentially separated.
And not only are we separated from all that we love and value, we are constantly making that separation greater and wider. Why? How?
Well, the problem is the Law. (Again with the uppercase? Oh yes.)
We are estranged -- and we know we are estranged, especially from God. And we know that we know... etc. So we try to solve the problem ourselves by using the Law. We will, we say, obey the law. We will be perfect in the law. We will observe every jot and tittle, every letter and implication, every intention and purpose of the law. We will be perfect... in the law.
And then God will have no choice but to reach across that great divide, that great separation that yawns like a chasm between God and me, and accept me, love me, and bring me into God’s embrace. God will simply have no choice. I will see to it.
But it doesn’t work, does it? Because in trying to manipulate, force, require, and make God act the way I desire, I have only made the separation worse. I have imagined that I am more powerful than God, and in doing so I have pushed God away as surely as if I had dug the divide with my own shovel.
And wretched man that I am, says Paul, who will rescue me from this horrible state of affairs? Only one: “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord.” It is not by my acts, by my perfect observance of the law that I am made acceptable to God, but by God’s grace as it comes to me in Jesus Christ.
In the Sermon
Grace does not strike us when we have made ourselves perfect by our slavish devotion to the law, when we have become so good that God has no choice but to accept us, for that is simply not possible. In trying to force God’s hand, we place ourselves above God and drive God further away.
When does grace strike? In The Shaking of the Foundations, Paul Tillich described it like this:
Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness. It strikes us when we walk through the dark valley of a meaningless and empty life. It strikes us when we feel that our separation is deeper than usual, because we have violated another life, a life which we loved, or from which we were estranged. It strikes us when our disgust for our own being, our indifference, our weakness, our hostility, and our lack of direction and composure have become intolerable to us. It strikes when, year after year, the longed-for perfection of life does not appear, when the old compulsions reign within us as they have for decades, when despair destroys all joy and courage.
Ten years ago I had never heard the word “opioid.”
Heroin was the drug of choice for the lowest of the low, those who had given up on themselves, on God, on life. Cocaine? Well, sure, wealthy people called it “nose candy” and everyone knew that you could get in trouble with it, but it wasn’t going to kill anyone except maybe the most extreme cases. And there was ecstasy, the disco drug, the party drug. And speed, methamphetamine, crank -- the drug of choice for rural tweakers and college students who wanted to stay up and cram for finals, but it did such horrible things to your appearance that, well not many wanted to go there.
There was crack, rock cocaine, but that was confined mainly to the ghetto, right? And weed was relegated pretty much, to the same level of danger as caffeine or nicotine and it didn’t give you cancer, at least that anyone knew of. Oxycontin might have been fun, but it carried that horrible image of “hillbilly heroin,” so it never really hit its stride except for those chronic pain sufferers who became addicted almost by accident.
But wasn’t the war on drugs pretty much over? Hadn’t that fight been basically won?
I mean, even Hollywood was on board, right?
Before most of us were born, the sad life of the drug addict was depicted by Frank Sinatra in The Man with the Golden Arm, and the slow descent of a couple into alcoholism was realistically depicted by Jack Lemmon and Lee Remick in Days of Wine and Roses. Way back in 1969, the movie Easy Rider opened with the song “The Pusher.” Written by country music legend Hoyt Axton and recorded by Steppenwolf, it asked God to damn the pusher of hard drugs, a “monster” who doesn’t care “if you live or if you die.” More recently, Trainspotting took us to the depths of depravity experienced by young adults addicted to heroin, and Drugstore Cowboy led us through the desperate and depressing culture of drug abuse of all kinds.
While movies may have convinced some people to not start using drugs, however, it is probably the case that they never convinced anyone to give up drugs.
That is done, we now know, through intervention. It happens, if it happens at all, when those who love and care for the addict come together and intervene in the addictive behavior by confronting him or her with the behavior that they have been tolerating, the behavior that has been destroying the family, crushing friendships, embarrassing loved ones, and estranging the user from everyone whom he or she once loved or cared about. It happens when those people lovingly but firmly intervene in the self-destructive behavior of the addict or compulsive.
But what about when our addiction is to Sin? What shall happen to us when we are addicted to that cycle of estrangement and separation that leads us further and further away from God, from our loved ones and friends, from the creation, and even from ourselves?
Oh, wretched person that I am, who will intervene for me? Who will rescue me from this cycle of sin and estrangement?
Again, Tillich provides an answer:
Sometimes at that moment a wave of light breaks into our darkness and it is as though a voice were saying: “You are accepted. You are accepted. Accepted by that which is greater than you.... Simply accept the fact that you are accepted!” If that happens to us, we experience grace. After such an experience we may not be better than before, and we may not believe more than before, but still, everything is transformed. In that moment grace conquers sin, and reconciliation bridges the gulf of estrangement.
And Paul responds: “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!”
SECOND THOUGHTS
by Beth Herrinton-Hodge
Genesis 24:34-38, 42-29, 58-67; Psalm 45:10-17; Song of Solomon 2:8-13
The narrative about the match-up between Abraham’s son Isaac and the daughter of Abraham’s people fills the whole of Genesis 24. The selected verses in this Sunday’s lections abbreviate the narrative. In verse 34 we meet Abraham’s servant, who has been sent on a mission to find a suitable and agreeing wife for his master’s son.
Marriage in that time was a transactional relationship -- typically arranged by family or tribal members to maintain or strengthen familial or tribal connections. In many cases, a groom or his agent would travel to a location to secure a bride. He would meet the parents of the girl/woman that he would marry, and details of an engagement and marriage would be agreed upon. Often gifts were exchanged. In this case, Rebekah received rings and bracelets. The bride would leave her family to go with the groom or his agent and belong to the family of her husband. Upon returning to the groom’s home, the marriage would be consummated. Similar meeting patterns appear in the stories of Jacob and Rachel (Genesis 29:1-20) and Moses and Jethro’s daughters (Exodus 2:15-21).
Arranged marriages such as these did not rely on love, attraction, and feelings of bliss. Marriage served more utilitarian purposes, which included strengthening familial or tribal alliances, maintaining lines of inheritance, begetting offspring, and securing dowry such as livestock, cash, and land. The modern concepts of attraction and love didn’t enter the picture.
Even though this scene between Isaac and Rebekah details an arranged marriage, there are hints of budding interest between the two. In vv. 62-67, Isaac saw a caravan of camels moving across the desert toward him; he began walking toward it. Did he know his bride was coming to him? Rebekah, upon seeing a man walking across the field toward them, inquired as to who he was. When she learned that the man was the servant’s master -- the one she was to marry -- she came down from her camel and covered herself with a veil. Her dismount may have been an act of honor due a man of importance. Her veil was a symbolic act of a free-born woman. She had been brought to this place, not as a servant or slave, but as one who consented to come.
Jewish marriage ceremonies today include elements from the wooing of Rebekah. Prior to the processional, the Jewish bride covers herself with a veil as Rebekah did. More than an act of modesty, the veiling symbolizes the central importance of looking upon the soul and character of the person one marries rather than on physical appearance. Under the Chuppah, the groom lifts the veil and recites the blessing given to Rebekah by her brother: “Our sister, may you be the mother of thousands of ten thousands” (Genesis 24:60).
When reading the Genesis text, paired with both Psalm 45 and Song of Solomon 2, we find expressions of passion and joy-filled love. The love song of Psalm 45 is unique within the psalter. A princess is decked out in her chamber, awaiting the king who will call to her. The Song of Solomon gives a glimpse into the longing of a young woman whose beloved is absent. The words and imagery in these two texts let us know that longing, imagination, emotion, and passion are not missing from the Bible. Nor do modern readers need to squash our passions in favor of dry, transactional marriages.
The Bible is full of loving, edifying, satisfying marriages: Abraham and Sarah, Jacob and Rachel, Moses and Zipporah, Ruth and Boaz, Elizabeth and Zechariah, Mary and Joseph. We don’t know all the details about the courtships of these couples. Some of these marriages were arranged. Some endured struggle even to the point of break-up (or almost breaking up). What we find consistent is that love, commitment, and endurance in these relationships grew over time.
I’m reminded of the storyline in Fiddler on the Roof. After 25 years of marriage, Tevye asks Golde if she loves him. The couple has endured poverty and hard work; they have born and reared children; they built a life together. Whatever brought them together initially -- whether it was an arranged marriage, or a marriage of attraction and passion -- these details have long passed. “Do I love you? After all of this... I guess I do.”
The challenge of living and loving together, of laughing, crying, struggling, and overcoming together... these are the marks of love and marriage. Isaac and Rebekah have yet to learn this truth. Love is not what brought them together. But love is what will grow between them as they assume their place in the Patriarchy, following the deceased Sarah and the aged Abraham.
ILLUSTRATIONS
From team member Ron Love:
Genesis 24:34-38, 42-29, 58-67
When the USS Fitzgerald was rammed by a Philippine container ship, the birthing compartments on the destroyer, located below sea level, immediately flooded. Brayden Harden, 19, was knocked out of his bunk by the impact, but the men sleeping on the bunks above and below him died. Harden made it to safety and could have remained there, but instead he continued to rescue sailors below deck. He kept diving to reach trapped sailors until there were no longer any air pockets, and he had to cease his efforts.
Application: There is no end to the sacrifices we make for love.
*****
Song of Solomon 2:8-13
Emanuel AME Church of Charleston, South Carolina suffered the death of nine parishioners in a mass killing by Dylan Roof. As a reminder that good triumphs over evil, last year the church planted 15 trees on its front lawn -- one each in remembrance of the nine who were killed, the five others who were wounded and survived, and the church’s congregation. The message the trees convey is that love prevails over hate.
Application: We should always be singing a song of love.
*****
Song of Solomon 2:8-13
Emanuel AME Church of Charleston, South Carolina is the oldest African Methodist Episcopal church in the South, with a strong heritage of freedom and tolerance. In 1822 one of the church’s founders, Denmark Vesey, led a slave revolt. As a result, he was executed and the church was burned to the ground and closed for decades. But it eventually emerged from the ashes with the same message of freedom and tolerance. Michael Arad, the designer of the 9/11 Memorial in New York City, has been selected to design a memorial in remembrance of the nine parishioners killed in a June 17, 2015 massacre. The church’s pastor, Rev. Eric Manning, said of the memorial: “If we are able to shine a light on the beauty, resiliency, and love that was shown by the members of this congregation and the community of Charleston, we will succeed in showing the best of humankind in the wake of the worst.”
Application: We should always be singing a song of love.
*****
Song of Solomon 2:8-13
Danica Patrick, 35, is a NASCAR superstar. On a recent visit to Boston, she promoted racing and the importance of women in history. As she visited various historic sites with schoolchildren, telling them of the great accomplishments of women in history, she made it a point to greet every child in the group and any tourist who reached out to her. Of her trip to Boston, Patrick said: “Days like today, when you hear that you’re an inspiration, that’s the good part. That makes the work, which is sometimes frustrating, worth it.”
Application: We are to show love whenever we can.
*****
Zechariah 9:9-12
Emanuel AME Church of Charleston, South Carolina suffered the death of nine parishioners in a mass killing by Dylan Roof on June 17, 2015. Since then many tourists come each Sunday to worship with the congregation. The congregation’s pastor, Rev. Eric Manning, used to greet each visitor by name between hymns and the sermon. But since so many visitors are now present the introductions became too lengthy, detracting from the worship experience. So now visitors are welcomed as a group at the start of the service, including a short song: “Emmanuel, God is with us. Emmanuel. In Him we trust. We welcome you to this holy place. We welcome you with our warm embrace. We welcome you, we welcome you to Emmanuel.” Of this decision Manning said: “I did not want worship to become a spectator sport.”
Application: Our lesson teaches us to always be rejoicing.
*****
Romans 7:15-25a
In a Blondie comic strip, Blondie asks her husband Dagwood: “Do you ever miss being footloose and fancy-free?” Dagwood is confused by this, replying that he never was footloose and fancy-free, only to be corrected by Blondie that he was. The next morning, in the car pool with three others, the puzzled look on Dagwood’s face causes the driver to ask Dagwood what’s on his mind. Perplexed, Dagwood answers: “Apparently I was footloose and fancy-free but I never realized it.”
Application: It can be difficult to always understand our behavior.
*****
Romans 7:15-25a
The towering inferno of the 24-story apartment building Grenfell Tower in London has claimed nearly 100 lives. The fire spread so rapidly that no one had time to escape. The inferno was caused by a remodeling project that did not use fire-resistant material. In order to give the building a sleek look and be energy-efficient an outside casing was installed made of two thin aluminum sheets with a plastic core. It is inexpensive -- but also is not to be used on buildings taller than 40 feet.
Application: Sometimes our evil actions are a mysterious to us, and other times we are just plain and simply evil.
*****
Romans 7:15-25a
Danica Patrick, 35, is a NASCAR superstar. As such, many people want to get her autograph while others are intent on denouncing her. Recently at the race in Pocono, Pennsylvania, a fan got over the barricade and harassed and booed her. Patrick stormed over to the fan and said “I’m a person, too. I have feelings. When you boo me, it hurts my feelings!” Of course, the incident was caught on social media and instantly went viral. Of the incident Patrick said: “But every now and again they just catch you in a moment. And I had a moment.”
Application: Paul notes that each of us has “a moment.”
*****
Romans 7:15-25a
The Secret Service has a long-standing practice of assigning code names to the presidents and presidential candidates they have sworn to protect. President George W. Bush was “Tumbler.” This was the code name assigned to him when his father was president, reflective of his behavior prior to his life-changing encounter with evangelist Billy Graham. His father, George H. W. Bush, was “Timberwolf,” respectful of his Texas heritage. Ronald Reagan was “Rawhide,” the true cowboy who occupied the Oval Office. Bill Clinton was “Eagle,” and his wife Hillary still carries the designation “Evergreen.” Jimmy Carter was “Deacon,” acknowledging his position as a Sunday school teacher. New England roots defined John Kerry with the word “Minuteman.” Barack Obama, the only 2008 presidential candidate to be afforded Secret Service protection, is called “Renegade.” Dick Cheney is “Angler.” Al Gore was referred to as “Sawhorse.” After countless protests on his part it was changed to “Sundance,” a designation he found equally objectionable.
Application: We should be cognizant of how our behavior and actions affect the name we want to be referred by.
*****
Matthew 11:16-19, 25-30
After President Donald Trump announced the U.S. withdrawal from the Paris agreement for climate control, Ban Ki-moon, the former Secretary General of the United Nations, spoke out against Trump and his decision. Ban said that Trump should stand “on the right side of history” and once again join the Paris accord. Ban said Trump’s decision was “misguided” and represented “a short-term vision.”
Application: It would appear that Trump continues in a state of not knowing if he wants someone who does not dance or one who dances too much. We too should be mindful that we are clear in our objectives.
***************
From team member Mary Austin:
Genesis 24:34-38, 42-29, 58-67
Arranged Marriage, the Modern Way
As the story of the patriarchs and matriarchs continues, it’s time to find a wife for Isaac. Abraham sends his trusted servant back to his home area to seek a wife. When Farahad Zama tells the story of his arranged marriage, there was a geographic requirement also. Twenty years ago, when he was a young software engineer, his mother asked about his list of requirements for a bride. “Whoever you choose,” he answered, recalling that “I was a well-brought-up boy, after all. Further conversation followed. My mother was adamant that I should be married only to a local Vizag girl. ‘Why?’ I asked. I knew that the girl my parents selected would be of the same religion and similar economic and social circumstances, and that made sense, but this requirement of a local girl was a new wrinkle.”
“Looking back,” Zama says, “I can see that my mother was unusually clear-headed and prescient. The software industry in India was in its early days and still quite small. The movers and shakers of big companies in the West weren’t easily convinced that these mustachioed men with ill-fitting suits and funny accents, from a country better known for its poverty, sacred cows, and fakirs, could build sophisticated computer systems. But my mother said: ‘Your job will grow and take you all round the globe. You will come to India for two weeks each year, and it is only natural that while you want to spend time with us, your wife will want to visit her own parents. I don’t want your limited holidays split between two towns and wasted in traveling from place to place.’ I could see the logic in that and I finally had a requirement of my own. I wanted a college graduate who could speak English. My mother and sister knew just the girl -- our neighbor’s niece.”
It was arranged for the couple to look each other over briefly, and then the wedding was set. Zama says, “Most American couples know a lot about each other before they tie the knot. They’ve been on dates, fallen in love, fought, made up, had sex, and most probably even lived together before going down the aisle. Our story, of course, is different. That 45-minute meeting was our only contact before we were husband and wife. We went to movies and the beach, fought over important and trivial things, made up and fell in love -- all after our wedding. ‘How could you marry somebody you did not know?’ is a common question that many people have asked us in the West. The slow discovery of another person and the unraveling of layers of mystery are part of the fun of arranged marriage.”
“This has to be true of all marriages,” Zama says, but the discovery process is different in an arranged marriage. He doesn’t know if he and his wife had met in a more Western way, if they would have fallen in love and married. “What I am sure about is that our marriage, arranged with other considerations in mind, took us from acquaintance to love and kept us together until we realized that our differences are the yin and yang that make our relationship whole. Now we consider ourselves absolutely perfect for each other.”
*****
Genesis 24:34-38, 42-29, 58-67
Arranged Marriage, the Even More Modern Way
As time and cultural values change, even arranged marriages are changing according to Sanjena Sathian. People from India are still most likely to marry someone else who has Indian heritage, but matchmakers and even apps do the arranging now.
“Trisha Gill, a 27-year-old nurse practitioner in Los Angeles, started looking around at the man market last year. She knew what she wanted: a Sikh, like her; someone from a good family, with a good education. Someone funny. And someone, preferably, in L.A. She found her fiancé, Sanju Sembhi, who ticked all the boxes except the whole local thing -- he lives near Philadelphia. Gill and 30-year-old Sembhi used the app Dil Mil.... They’re modern millennials.” Gill insisted that her parents not send around her picture and marital profile to potential matches.
“And yet, their story has a hint of the old in it. Their courtship was a 21st-century version of an epistolary romance: They communicated across the country for a few months and spent a total of just six days together in person before Sembhi asked for Gill’s hand. Dil Mil, which roughly means ‘to meet one’s heart,’ itself has some traditional bits to it: In addition to Facebook photos or LinkedIn connections, one selects religious preferences and even indicates from which state within India one’s family hails.”
Sathian notes that for “lonely and satisfied hearts back in India: Things are changing as cities boom and women work. (It’s worth noting, of course, that some three-quarters of all Indians still prefer arranged marriages, according to a 2013 survey by the Taj Wedding Barometer.)” Wells and camels have been replaced in the panoply of ways marriages come about, but the arranged marriage still has value for many people.
*****
Genesis 24:34-38, 42-29, 58-67
Wedding Customs
Rebekah gets a nose ring and two bracelets as an opening gift, plus much more jewelry when the betrothal is sealed. Her family also receives gifts from Abraham’s emissary. In our time, according to the wedding site The Knot, “70 percent of all brides sport the traditional diamond on the fourth finger of their left hand.” The tradition started with wealthy Venetians toward the end of the 15th century, who used diamonds set in gold or silver as betrothal rings. Further, “in the symbolic language of jewels, a sapphire in a wedding ring means marital happiness.” A pearl engagement ring is considered bad luck, as the pearl shape echoes the shape of a tear. Customs change. “Snake rings dotted with ruby eyes were popular wedding bands in Victorian England -- the coils winding into a circle symbolized eternity.” Wedding jewelry is a big business. “Seventeen tons of gold are made into wedding rings each year in the United States.”
*****
Genesis 24:34-38, 42-29, 58-67
Elaborate Proposals
The long journey of Abraham’s trusted servant to find a bride for Isaac has a modern echo in the imaginative proposals that some people create in our time. Going down on one knee with a ring box in hand seems too simple for some people, who stage very elaborate proposals.
“A mysterious sand art installation was spotted at Ocean Beach, California. An elaborate pattern contained the words, ‘Will you marry me Kelly?’ After the pictures were posted at the San Francisco 7x7 magazine blog, readers identified the couple. The sand imprint was created by artist Andres Amador, who was commissioned by Jason Fordley, who ‘might well be the most romantic man in San Francisco.’ The question was directed to Kelly Riplinger, who only saw the huge message when the couple climbed to the top of a nearby hill. (She said yes.) The proposal was followed by a city tour, dinner, and a beach party with their friends.” How about a magician? “For his big moment, Arvin approached magician Dan Trommater for help with his proposal. He took Cindy on a walk and just happened to catch a street performance, where Trommater directed Arvin to get down on one knee to help him conjure up a ‘magic box’ that held an engagement ring. It was a complete surprise to Cindy, who accepted.” Or there’s always Twitter. “The first known marriage proposal by Twitter happened on March 2, 2008, when Greg Rewis proposed to Stephanie Sullivan. She replied with a Tweet of her own, accepting the offer. Since then, many online geeks have sealed the deal on Twitter.”
One downside is that things don’t always go as planned. “Reed Harris planned a creative proposal for Kaitlyn Whipple by planting a ring in her milkshake. She was supposed to be surprised when she reached the bottom of the shake, but there was no ring. She had swallowed it! The couple went to a hospital, and x-rays confirmed that Whipple had the ring inside her. Harris then proposed by presenting Whipple with the x-ray evidence. She accepted, and the ring, uh, appeared two days later.” (Eeew.)
WORSHIP RESOURCES
by George Reed
Call to Worship
Leader: God is gracious and merciful and is slow to anger.
People: God is abounding in steadfast love.
Leader: God is good to all, with compassion over all creation.
People: All your works shall give thanks to you, O God.
Leader: Our God upholds all who are falling.
People: God raises up all who are bowed down.
OR
Leader: Come to the God who calls us to life and freedom.
People: We are afraid to come to God because of our sin.
Leader: Our sin is already known to God, and God stills loves us.
People: God loves us even in our sin? That is strong love.
Leader: God’s love is enough to free us from our sin.
People: We come to receive that awesome gift of God’s grace.
Hymns and Sacred Songs
“Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah”
found in:
UMH: 127
H82: 690
PH: 281
AAHH: 138, 139, 140
NNBH: 232
NCH: 18, 19
CH: 622
LBW: 343
ELA: 618
W&P: 501
AMEC: 52, 53, 65
“Lift High the Cross”
found in:
UMH: 159
H82: 473
PH: 371
AAHH: 242
NCH: 198
CH: 108
LBW: 377
ELA: 660
W&P: 287
Renew: 297
“Pues Si Vivimos” (“When We Are Living”)
found in:
UMH: 356
PH: 400
NCH: 499
CH: 536
ELA: 639
W&P: 415
“Amazing Grace”
found in:
UMH: 378
H82: 671
PH: 280
AAHH: 271, 272
NNBH: 161, 163
NCH: 547, 548
CH: 546
LBW: 448
ELA: 779
W&P: 422
AMEC: 226
STLT: 205, 206
Renew: 189
“This Is a Day of New Beginnings”
found in:
UMH: 383
NCH: 417
CH: 518
W&P: 355
“Precious Lord, Take My Hand”
found in:
UMH: 474
PH: 404
AAHH: 471
NCH: 472
CH: 628
ELA: 773
W&P: 500
AMEC: 393
STLT: 199
“Come, My Way, My Truth, My Life”
found in:
UMH: 163
H82: 487
ELA: 816
“How Like a Gentle Spirit”
found in:
UMH: 115
NCH: 443
CH: 69
“God, You Are My God”
found in:
CCB: 60
“I Exalt You”
found in:
CCB: 34
Renew: 44
Music Resources Key:
UMH: United Methodist Hymnal
H82: The Hymnal 1982 (The Episcopal Church)
PH: Presbyterian Hymnal
AAHH: African-American Heritage Hymnal
NNBH: The New National Baptist Hymnal
NCH: The New Century Hymnal
CH: Chalice Hymnal
LBW: Lutheran Book of Worship
ELA: Evangelical Lutheran Worship
W&P: Worship & Praise
AMEC: African Methodist Episcopal Church Hymnal
STLT: Singing the Living Tradition
CCB: Cokesbury Chorus Book
Renew: Renew! Songs & Hymns for Blended Worship
Prayer for the Day / Collect
O God who is life and freedom: Grant us the grace to turn to you to find freedom from the sin that binds us; through Jesus Christ our Savior. Amen.
OR
We praise you, O God, because you are life itself and in you is true freedom. As you come among us this day, fill us with your Spirit so that we may find in you freedom from the sin that binds us up tightly. Amen.
Prayer of Confession
Leader: Let us confess to God and before one another our sins, and especially our willingness to stay chained to our sins.
People: We confess to you, O God, and before one another that we have sinned. We have done those things we ought not to have done, and we have left undone those things we ought to have done. We know this and yet our behavior seldom changes, or when it does not for very long. We are ashamed to admit our failures to anyone else, and often we are ashamed to admit them even to ourselves. We decide that what we are doing isn’t really that bad. At least it is not as bad as others are doing. And we really do things that are worthwhile, and that offsets the bad, right? But you know us, O God, and know what we could become if we allowed your grace to wash over us and renew us. So here we are. Wash us in your grace and renew us in mind and Spirit. Break our addiction to our sin. Amen.
Leader: God knows our frame and how easily we become addicted to what we know is harmful to us. Receive God’s love and grace, and be filled with God’s life-giving, life-renewing Spirit.
Prayers of the People (and the Lord’s Prayer)
We praise you, O God, for we are wondrously made in your image. We are your children and the bearers of your Spirit.
(The following paragraph may be used if a separate prayer of confession has not been used.)
We confess to you, O God, and before one another that we have sinned. We have done those things we ought not to have done, and we have left undone those things we ought to have done. We know this and yet our behavior seldom changes, or when it does not for very long. We are ashamed to admit our failures to anyone else, and often we are ashamed to admit them even to ourselves. We decide that what we are doing isn’t really that bad. At least it is not as bad as others are doing. And we really do things that are worthwhile, and that offsets the bad, right? But you know us, O God, and know what we could become if we allowed your grace to wash over us and renew us. So here we are. Wash us in your grace and renew us in mind and Spirit. Break our addiction to our sin.
We thank you for your grace that ever surrounds us and holds us in your love. We thank you for your Spirit that you pour out upon all creation and into each of us.
(Other thanksgivings may be offered.)
We pray for all your children. We pray especially for the grace that breaks the downward spiral of sin and releases us to new life and to new heights.
(Other intercessions may be offered.)
All these things we ask in the name of our Savior Jesus Christ, who taught us to pray together, saying:
Our Father . . . Amen.
(or if the Lord’s Prayer is not used at this point in the service)
All this we ask in the Name of the Blessed and Holy Trinity. Amen.
Children’s Sermon Starter
Sometimes we might be playing and we know it is time to stop and get ready for dinner or get ready for bed, but we are having so much fun that we just play a little longer. It is fun until one of our parents comes to get us and they are not happy that we did not come when they called the first time. Now it is not so much fun. There are lots of things that may seem like fun at the time, but they are not good for us... or at least not if we have too much. Ice cream is good, but it isn’t good if we eat it for every meal. All though life we need to be aware that even good things can have bad ends so that we can avoid them.
CHILDREN’S SERMON
Recalculating
by Chris Keating
Matthew 11:16-19, 25-30
Gather ahead of time:
* Images of yokes used to tether oxen
* The GPS function on a smartphone
* (Option: if you want to have some fun, record your voice imitating the computer-generated voices of GPS devices saying, “Recalculating! Recalculating!”)
Background:
Jesus’ words in Matthew 11:16-19, 25-30 are spoken to a people confused and uncertain who and what to follow. They have seen John come to them preaching a rather disciplined message of restraint and serious awareness of how God’s kingdom was emerging. Jesus, on the other hand, comes living a more joyful, almost party-like way of faith. Yet neither message seemed to resonate with the generation of Jesus’ listeners, who just don’t seem to know how to follow.
With this background, think of how you can use the image of an oxen’s yoke to explain the path of Christian discipleship. Jesus calls us to follow by placing the yoke on our shoulders -- but unlike the yoke used by animals, the burden of discipleship is freeing. It recalculates our lives, and helps us go in the direction that will be most helpful for us.
Message:
After the children gather, say something like “Have you ever gone on a car trip where your mom or dad missed a turn? Did you end up going a different way?” Sometimes our sense of direction is a little mixed-up. Years ago we depended on maps to help us find our way, but nearly all of the children present will know what it means to use a GPS for directions. But even these handy little satellite systems in our pockets can be confusing!
But when we miss our turns, our GPS’ friendly voice from the sky says to us, “Recalculating!”
Pretend to use your cellphone as a GPS device. Try and find something (like the pulpit or a lectern) but act confused, and deliberately go the wrong direction. Ask the children if they know where the pulpit is. Act surprised, then say, “We better turn around!” and then say “Recalculating!”
Show the children images of a yoke used by farmers on cattle. Tell them that this is an ancient tool that helped the animals do what the farmer needed them to do. Without a yoke, they could not have pulled heavy loads. In a sense, a yoke was a bit like a GPS. It helped “recalculate” the path for the animals so they could do the job the farmer needed them to do.
Jesus looked at the confused and distraught crowds who were following him. He asked them to change direction, and to recalculate their lives by accepting his yoke. Unlike the yokes farmers use, Jesus’ yoke brings freedom and rest by assuring us that God will recalculate our lives.
Prayer: Jesus, thank you for offering us your yoke, which keeps us connected to you and to God. You offer us rest, and show us the way of true happiness and peace. Help us to follow you. Amen.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Immediate Word, July 9, 2017, issue.
Copyright 2017 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to The Immediate Word service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons and in worship and classroom settings only. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., 5450 N. Dixie Highway, Lima, Ohio 45807.
