"who's Your Daddy?"
Children's sermon
Illustration
Preaching
Sermon
Worship
Object:
Dear Fellow Preacher,
Sunday June 15 isTrinity Sunday on the church calendar. However, for many people in our culture, and in our churches, the day will be celebrated as Father's Day. This sort of liturgical contest always poses a challenge to preachers. What should we preach?
We at The Immediate Word believe it is possible to deal faithfully with both themes. We have asked team member Carlos Wilton to use the lectionary reading from Romans 8:12-17 to explore the meaning of God as parent and how that image illuminates not only God's relationship to us, but also other parental relationships that may exist with and for children.
Also included are team comments, related illustrations, worship resources, and a children's sermon.
"Who's Your Daddy?"
by Carlos Wilton
Romans 8:12-17
THE MESSAGE ON A POSTCARD
What to do about Father's Day? Along with Mother's Day and other secular holidays, Father's Day does not belong to the liturgical year. According to the lectionary, this June 15th is not Father's Day at all, but Trinity Sunday: the Sunday immediately following Pentecost when we're encouraged to teach the doctrine of the Trinity.
The theologian in us may opt for Trinity Sunday, but the pastor in us is aware that many of our listeners -- at least in the U.S.A. -- will have fatherhood on their minds.
So what's a preacher to do?
This week's Epistle lesson, Romans 8:12-17, offers the opportunity to go in either or both directions: "For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption. When we cry, 'Abba! Father!' it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs ..." (Romans 8:15-17, NRSV).
"Who's Your Daddy?" is our Immediate Word topic. For children with a living father, that question instantly gives them a place in the world. Yet we all grow up. In time, our older guides are no longer with us (though they may live on in memory). Romans 8:15 highlights not so much the traditional image of God as male, as the relationship between God -- the caring, nurturing adoptive parent -- and us. This "spirit of adoption" banishes fear.
Adoption is a rich biblical metaphor, highlighting our utter reliance on salvation by grace through faith. It also affords a pastoral opportunity to celebrate the richness of human adoptive relationships, which are undoubtedly present in nearly every congregation.
SOME WORDS ON THE WORD
Paul introduces, in this passage, the theological concept of adoption: that we are members of God's family not by birthright, but by grace alone. Along with many other commentators, William Barclay is convinced that Paul's understanding of adoption comes not from Jewish legal sources (which have little to say about adoption), but from Roman law. Barclay details the process by which a person could take the rare step of being transferred from one patriarchal Roman family (patria potestas) to another:
There were two steps. The first was known as mancipatio, and was carried out by a symbolic sale, in which copper and scales were symbolically used. Three times the symbolism of sale was carried out. Twice the father symbolically sold his son, and twice he bought him back; but the third time he did not buy him back and thus the patria potestas was held to be broken. There followed a ceremony called vindicatio. The adopting father went to the praetor, one of the Roman magistrates, and presented a legal case for the transference of the person to be adopted into his patria potestas. When all this was completed, the adoption was complete. Clearly this was a serious and an impressive step.1
Barclay goes on to say that "in law, the old life of the adopted person was completely wiped out; for instance, all debts were cancelled. He was regarded as a new person entering into a new life with which the past had nothing to do. In the eyes of the law he was absolutely the son of his new father."
The consequence of this adoption is that we are heirs. Just as the Roman adoptee was eligible for the same inheritance as the biological sons, so we -- by grace -- are eligible for the same benefits as God's son, Jesus Christ. We are written into the will, in a manner of speaking: but the will is not yet probated. God's promise is trustworthy, but has yet to be fulfilled.
Ominously, there are other things Christians may be called to share, in the days before the promise is fulfilled and the inheritance bestowed. Christians may be called "to suffer with [Christ] so that we may also be glorified with him."2
The occurrence of the word "Abba" in this passage as an address for God is significant. The word, which also occurs in the same sense in Mark 14:36 and Galatians 4:6, is an Aramaic term of endearment, indicating a close and affectionate family tie. While it's probably going too far to claim, as some commentators have, that it's the Aramaic equivalent of the childlike expression, "Daddy," the term does imply familiarity. Thus it is appropriately paired, here, with Paul's exposition of adoption -- indicating that the Christian is, indeed, welcomed into God's family.
The consequences of this, for Christian living, are dramatic:
We are brought near to the heart of God through the spirit of adoption, and not shut in the back room to make way for the "real" children, whoever we think the real children may be. Sometimes we think the elders of the church, pious Christians, pastors or other brave souls who make sacrifices for their faith, are the real Christians, the real children of God. But Paul says, "We are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ." Through the spirit of adoption we become part of the family, and are invited forward to whisper "Mommy" or "Daddy" into the ear.3
A MAP OF THE MESSAGE
Noted preacher and homiletics professor Fred Craddock tells this story:
In a certain village the school bell rang at 8:30 a.m. to call the children to class. The boys and girls left their homes and toys reluctantly, creeping like snails into the school, not late but not a second early. The bell rang again at 3:30 p.m., releasing the children to homes and toys, to which they rushed at the very moment of the tolling of the bell. This is how it was every day, with every child except one. She came early to help the teacher prepare the room and materials for the day. She stayed late to help the teacher clean the board, dust erasers, and put away materials. And during the day she sat close to the teacher, all eyes and ears for the lessons being taught. One day when noise and inattention were worse than usual, the teacher called the class to order. Pointing to the little girl in the front row, the teacher said, "Why can you not be as she is? She comes early to help, she stays late to help, and all day long she is attentive and courteous."
"It isn't fair to ask us to be as she is," said one boy from the rear of the room.
"Why?"
"Because she has an advantage," he replied.
"I don't understand. What is her advantage?" asked the puzzled teacher.
"She is an orphan," he almost whispered as he sat down.4
Family is where you find it. The orphan girl in Craddock's story knows this, intuitively and maybe even subconsciously. The schoolteacher is surprised to discover how desperately this quiet, obedient girl looks to the teacher as a parental figure.
Countless others have learned this truth that family is where you find it -- or maybe it's better to say, "Where you make it." Many who have known varying degrees of dysfunction in their families of origin -- or perhaps (as in the case of adoptive or foster children) were scarcely acquainted with their biological families at all -- have successfully managed to create family units by marriage or by other intentional arrangement. It's pastorally appropriate -- indeed, it's a pastoral imperative -- to celebrate such non-traditional families, along with the traditional two-parents-with-children model.
Family is a hot-button issue today. Political rhetoric puffs the importance of vaguely-defined "family values." Everyone seems to be in favor of family values, but no one seems to agree on a definition of what they are.
Today's lesson from Romans 8 speaks about God's family values: and curiously, it has nothing to do with biological family. The family of God is composed exclusively of adoptees. Heaven, in Paul's imagination, is one great, big non-traditional family, composed of people who are not related to one another by blood: Christians have received, he says, "a spirit of adoption" (Romans 8:15, NRSV). When it comes to God's grace, all of us are on an equal footing. Some of us who have grown up in the church may imagine we've received our church membership as a birthright, but in fact we're all adopted: both cradle Christians and late-in-life converts.
Much of what's been said in the national debate about families assumes that the biological family is superior to other forms of family (such as foster or adoptive families, or alternative groupings like disabled individuals living in group homes). This preference has been demonstrated in the courts, which in several celebrated cases have upheld the rights of biological parents over those of adoptive parents -- in some cases, even when the child has lived with the adoptive family for longer than the biological one. If God's family is not composed of biologically-linked individuals, but is rather a vast household of adopted siblings, then what does this say about society's unquestioned assumption that biological families are the ideal family pattern?
Reading further in Romans 8, beyond the parameters of the lectionary passage, we discover what's truly essential to God's family values. The essential ingredient is love: "... all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn within a large family."5
This "large family" of God -- apart from the three persons of the Trinity, who are its original members -- is an adoptive family. To those who, by grace, are privileged by divine adoption to dwell in that family, Paul promises that "neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."6
The 1999 film, Cider House Rules (based on a novel of the same name by John Irving), provides one of the most vivid examples in recent cinema of what it means to be adopted. Dr. Wilbur Larch (Michael Caine), an obstetrician, runs an orphanage in St. Cloud, Maine, in the 1940s. This quirky, Dickensian character -- despite many personal flaws (including a secret addiction to the ether he uses in his medical practice) -- leads an orphanage staff that provides, against difficult odds, a stable home life for dozens of young orphans. The crusty Dr. Larch is a loving patriarch, who ends each day by standing in the dormitory doorway and bestowing upon his charges this unconventional blessing: "Goodnight, you princes of Maine, you Kings of New England." These wards of the state have no such birthright, of course (and indeed, in the American democracy, no such birthright exists). Yet the birthright exists in Dr. Larch's mind, and by intoning those words night after night, he makes his young charges feel like royalty.
As caring as the orphanage staff is, however, the large, rambling house still has an institutional feel. The children fantasize about the day when some real parents will show up and adopt them. In one poignant scene, a young soldier in uniform and his wife drive up to the orphanage, to look the children over and choose one for their own (the story takes place long before the establishment of modern social-services screening techniques). Hurriedly, the children put on their best clothes and spruce themselves up, each one hoping to appear sufficiently adoptable. Inevitably, only one child is successful, and the others sadly return to the dormitory, hoping that the next time it will be them. There is no such limitation in God's house; there is plenty of room in God's family for all.
Cider House Rules focuses on the character of Homer Wells (Tobey Maguire), a boy on the edge of adolescence who's already reached the upper age-range of those likely to be adopted. Realizing this, Dr. Larch singles Homer out as someone whom he'd like to mentor into the medical profession. Much of the story is about Homer's struggle with the conflict between his "good-enough" family that is orphanage staff, and his persistent, idealized vision of a "real" family.
"The film's message," write reviewers Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat, "is simple and clear as a bell: We are all orphans with a little bit of Bedouin in our blood, wrestling with who we are, where we come from, and why we're here at all. Go where you are wanted. Go where you are needed. Go where you belong."7
On this Trinity Sunday, it may be well to remind our congregations that, in classic Christian theology, the ties that bind the three persons of the Trinity together are the ties of love. Hymn writer Brian Wren, in "How Wonderful the Three-In-One," celebrates this aspect of the Triune God:
whose energies of dancing light
are undivided, pure and good,
communing love in shared delight.
Some theologians have likened love to the life-blood of the Trinity. Love is shared liberally among the three persons, circulating among them as the essence of divine life itself. Those who are adopted into God's family share a small portion of this ever-circulating divine love.
Yet even so, the doctrine of the Trinity is heavy with mystery. The precise interrelationship of the three persons -- not so much described in scripture as adduced from it -- is hard for earthbound human minds to comprehend. In a poem entitled "Trinity Sunday," George Herbert expresses both the frustration and the resignation that there are some truths we can learn only imperfectly in this life:
The statelier cabinet is the Trinitie,
Whose sparkling light accesse denies:
Therefore thou dost not show
This fully to us, till death blow
The dust into our eyes:
For by that powder thou wilt make us see.
For those wishing to address the theme of fatherhood on Father's Day, it could be useful to explore what it means to be a father when the father himself is adopted. This, indeed, is the case -- spiritually speaking -- with all Christian fathers: while many of us have biological fathers who are either living or whom we honor in memory, in fact (as Paul reminds us) we are all adopted members of God's family. Just as adopted children often have to learn the rules and traditions of their adoptive families in intentional ways their biological siblings do not, so the Christian way of parenting is a skill that must be continually learned and refined.
Last year, the New York Times ran a remarkable article about a young father from the Bronx named H.R. Vargas, who grew up in one of the most dysfunctional family situations imaginable. The child of an adulterous affair, he did not even meet his biological father until he was 21 years old -- and then it was by accident. Vargas' childhood was spent shuttling between his mother, who beat him, and various foster homes. As a teenager, he became involved for a time with the drug trade, and was imprisoned, but eventually managed to break free from that destructive world.
Always, the legacy of his father's adultery and subsequent abandonment of him has haunted him. In the words of the Timesarticle,
"Mr. Vargas, 25, known to his friends as Spirit, wears the broken commandment like a heavy chain around his neck. He says it has done nothing short of devastating his life.
'When you commit adultery, you break a promise,' he said, 'not only to the woman you are in a committed relationship with, not only to the woman you had an affair with, but maybe most importantly to the children born from the affair. My pops was never a father to me. He broke his promise to me on the day I was born. I paid for that broken promise hard, real hard.'
Vargas and his wife, Marilyn, welcomed a son into the world, and then twins -- one of whom died in infancy. As he seeks to be a good father to their two living sons, Vargas has set out on an intentional search for role models.
As part of that journey, Mr. Vargas took the rather unusual step of seeking to be adopted as an adult. He asked his friend and mentor, an Episcopal priest named Gordon Duggins, to legally adopt him. "I adopted him because he asked me to adopt him," Father Duggins described it. "He wanted a parent. The parent usually chooses the child, but I was chosen. The power of this choice was tremendous."
Vargas has found this adoptive relationship to be a beacon for him, as he tries to be a good parent with frighteningly little in the way of role models. "Now I finally have a pops," he told the Times interviewer. "I need his help. I need to break down the patterns I had before. I need love. I am like a small child that makes a lot of mistakes. People have to be patient with me. I have no experience with this. I never had a father. No one wanted me for a son."8
H.R. Vargas' story is a sort of parable of what it means to be a Christian parent. Those of us who are called to parenthood seek to be adopted by God, so we may better parent our own children.
Notes
1 Daily Study Bible: Romans, Romans 8:12-17 (Edinburgh: St. Andrew Press, 1975).
2 Romans 8:17.
3 Verity Jones, "Up For Adoption," The Christian Century, July 3-10, 2002, p. 22.
4 Fred B. Craddock, Craddock Stories (St. Louis: Chalice Press, 2001), p. 16.
5 Romans 8:28-29.
6 Romans 8:38-39.
7 www.spiritualityhealth.com/newsh/items/moviereview/item_1998.html.
8 Chris Hedges, "For Child of an Affair, Bitterness Lingers," New York Times, December 21, 2002.
Team Comments
George Murphy responds: We are children of God by adoption -- we who were (it is wise never to forget it) "children of wrath, like everyone else" (Ephesians 2:3). Often those who are contemplating adoption look for children with very specific qualities -- a certain gender or race, without any health problems, and so forth. Children who are handicapped in one way or another may be bypassed in the adoption process as couples look for the mythical "perfect child." The biblical picture of the divine adoption process is quite different, with God seeking out those with the most serious defect of sinning and leading them by the Spirit to be God's own children.
And yet this is not something that takes place simply by divine fiat. We are adopted as children of God for the sake of the one who is by nature the eternal child of God, Jesus Christ. The idea that we, as sinful and limited creatures, should address the creator of the universe with the familiar "Abba" would be the height of presumption -- if we were not invited and even ordered to do so by the Son of God who tells us to pray, "Our Father...."
And the Spirit in which we are enabled to pray to God as our loving parent is the Spirit who empowered Jesus in his ministry, the Spirit who is the bond of love between Father and Son. The community spirit of God is poured out to be the community spirit of God's adoptive family.
As with a number of other New Testament passages, the Trinitarian note in Romans 8:12-17 is rather low key. The point does not seem to be to teach explicitly about the Trinity. But when Paul speaks here about what God does in us, there is a clear Trinitarian structure, as if that were the natural and almost unconscious way of speaking about God: The Spirit enables us to know that we are joint heirs with the Son and thus to address the Father. It is only later that the church's reflection on the experience described here is developed into formal statements about the Trinity, but the reality is already here.
Carter Shelley responds: I'm am very impressed with the way you keep the biblical word in Romans at the center of this discussion while offering more than a nod to Father's Day. I was a little confused by the explanation Barclay provides for the Roman practice of adoption. Does the biological father perform the first two steps and the adopting father the third step? Along those lines, it seems to me that Caesar Augustus ended up adopting Tiberius as son and successor, due to the former's lack of a biological male heir.
The notion of a father intentionally choosing a son or daughter through adoption makes a powerful statement about the relationship between the two parties. Moreover, the move Paul and you make to God's adoption of us attains greater meaning when presented in this context. The Old Testament covenant model of God as a king and believers as obedient subjects (" I will be your God, if you will be my people) shifts to one of parent and child in the New Testament. While the word "Daddy" doesn't precisely translate the Aramaic word Jesus uses in The Lord's Prayer, it is the best analogy we have in English for the intimacy and parent child relationship Jesus models there. I've noticed that most American children refer to their fathers as "Daddy" during their childhood years, and then move on to "Dad" upon reaching adulthood. The distinction is not one of affection but one of dependence and inequality. The child knows he or she is dependent upon the father for food, clothing, housing, protection, and love. Upon reaching one's majority, most are able to provide the necessities of life for themselves. They still need a parent, but the primary need that continues is the need for love and affirmation from "Dad." As Christians we never outgrow our dependence upon God. While we may be an adult in years, even an adult in faith matters, we remain forever a child of God, ergo "Daddy" not "Dad."
As you aptly acknowledge in content and with illustrations, not everyone has positive connotations for fathers. When an individual is raised solely by a mother or in an orphanage, the notion of a loving, ever present, engaged father is an alien analogy. When an individual has suffered physical or emotional abuse at the hands of a father, it's nie impossible for that experience not to carry over to that person's understanding of God. This reality strongly argues for additional language to describe God in order to expand the concept of who God is and how God relates beyond the confines of one word. Feminist biblical scholars do not so much reject the notion of God as father, as they reject the notion that this term holds equal meaning for all Christians or that one such word can adequately encompass God's divinity. The Trinity itself demonstrates how complex and all encompassing God's reality truly is for humans.
Several film examples of fathers come to mind for me. I've always loved the father in Cheaper by the Dozen. He clearly loves his children, has fun with them, is ambitious for them, spends as much time with them as possible, and maintains authority and discipline in relationship to them. Upon his premature death, it is clear that the love, values, education, and discipline he and his wife have provided have resulted in children who can stand on their own and successfully make their way in the world.
Ron Howard's intergenerational movie Parenthood provides some true to life examples of 20th century fathers. They are men struggling to get parenting right and to help their children develop and grow as emotionally and mentally healthy children. Several insights from the movie are particularly powerful. In one scene Jason Robards, the father, tells his son, played by Steve Martin, how much he resented the son when the he was seriously ill as a child. The resentment stems from the terror and anxiety the boy's illness caused the father who loves his son so much. In the same scene the father explains how being a parent never ends. One may think that one is through worrying about one's children when they become grown-ups, but such is not the case. Being a parent is a life sentence, similar to the one God accepts in adopting us.
In the recent movie About Schmidt, Jack Nicholson portrays a recently retired insurance actuary, who himself views his daughter as "the apple of his eye," yet has never been able to verbally or emotionally express this love to her. In fact, it is clear in the movie that the daughter has not felt such love was available from her father. Where he seems to see the music lessons, horseback riding lessons, and many other economically based opportunities he's provided as evidence of his love, she does not. An irony in the film exists in the way Schmidt reveals his soul and his heart in letters written to an illiterate six-year-old child living in Tanzania in a way Schmidt never could to his wife or daughter.
For those of us who do not always feel we are "good" parents, I find comfort in the humanity of biblical fathers and mothers. Abraham abrogates his responsibility for Ishmael. Jacob's favoritism of Joseph over against Jacob's other sons leads to jealousy and disaster. David's avoidance of paternal interference after son Amnon rapes half-sister Tamar, leads one to murder, rebellion, and the death of two sons, Amnon and Absalom.
I love Country Music lyrics. Some of the lyrics are trite and obvious. Some are witty, clever word plays. Some are idealistic and sentimental. What I love most is the way they provide a succinct synopsis of life. The best country music songs present the real world and insights about human lives in it. Because I love country music lyrics, I did a little online search to see what the word "Daddy" would surface. The most obvious example is "Daddy's Hands" by Holly Dunn. The chorus goes:
Daddy's hands were soft and kind when I was cryin'
Daddy's hands were hard as steel when I'd done wrong
Daddy's hands weren't always gentle but I've come to understand
There was always love in Daddy's hands.
Several country music songs I prefer are actually sung by the father. The first is Phil Vassar's "Just Another Day in Paradise." This song beautifully illustrates the hectic but joyful lives working couples with small children have. Another song, I've always liked but don't know the performers name or title is one a father sings about his eight-year-old daughter, as he comes to realize that the objectification and sexualization of women may be one of the things she inherits. Ordinarily, feminist sentiments are expressed by women country music performers, but in this instance a male voice makes a powerful protest on behalf of daughters.
Related Illustrations
"We -- God's Children! Consider and bear in mind the vast unobservability, impossibility, and paradox of these words. Remember that, in daring this predication, we are taking the miraculous, primal, creative step which Abraham took; we are taking the step of faith, the step over the abyss from the old to the new creation, which God alone can take. We -- God's children! In uttering these words either we are talking blasphemy or we are singing the song of the redeemed."
-- Karl Barth, The Epistle to the Romans, trans. Edwyn C. Hoskins (London: Oxford, 1933), p. 299.
***
In 1999, the Sixty Minutes television show presented a program about a group of baby elephants who, as a result of overpopulation, had been relocated to a different African game preserve. The gamekeepers were initially concerned about the baby elephants' prospects for survival, but they made it successfully to adulthood.
There was only one problem: the behavior of these young elephants proved to be aberrant. A decade or so after the transfer, it became apparent that someone in the vicinity had been killing off rhinoceros, which are an endangered species. To the gamekeepers' amazement, it turned out that young male elephants were the culprits: a behavior they had never before seen in elephants.
They speculated that the reason for this was that the young males had grown up without male role models. And so, using new technology, the researchers transported in several mature bull elephants.
The experiment worked. The young males immediately stopped their precocious, rampant sexuality, killing and violence.
The researchers' conclusion was that fathers do matter, even in elephants.
-- Sixty Minutes, January 20, 1999.
***
"Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you."
-- Robert Fulghum
***
"[Jerry] Seinfeld is 48 and has been married since 1999 to Jessica Sklar, with whom he has a daughter, Sascha, who will turn 2 in November. And that, he says, has changed not only his outlook on life but his approach to comedy.
"I didn't know there was a laugh that was better than any laugh I had ever heard before," he says. "But there is. That one little girl laughing is better than 3,000 people. Since my whole life is about getting a laugh, to have something come along that creates a new category above everything else, that kind of stopped me in my tracks."
--"Going Hunting in Seinfeld Country, Just for Laughs," by Rick Lyman, New York Times, September 16, 2002.
***
Theologian Randall Balmer tells how, on the advice of a friend, he placed a 1961 photo of himself as a boy on his office desk as a kind of therapy. He looked at the photo off and on for several weeks, before it began to speak to him:
"For weeks, the only response that picture inspired in me was laughter. The photograph was taken in 1961, and all my hair was chopped off. That, combined with the spectacles perched awkwardly on my nose, made for a comic figure.
But then one morning, while seated at my desk, it all came back. In 1961, we lived in a parsonage next to the church out in the farm country of southern Minnesota, and there was nothing in the world more important to me than baseball. One day my father returned from town with a plastic bat and ball. 'Let's play ball,' he said. I couldn't have been more excited, in part because I knew, even then, that my father had no interest whatsoever in sports of any kind. I recall what happened next as though it were yesterday. After swinging wildly at a couple of pitches, I decided to let a few go by. Somehow, even in first grade, I had learned enough about baseball to know that four balls constituted a walk and, perhaps to save myself the embarrassment of swinging and missing more pitches, I elected to draw a base on balls.
'Well, what's the point of all this?' my father huffed. 'If you don't swing, I'm just wasting my time.' He tossed the ball in my direction, turned, and headed back to his study.
We never played ball again.
I tell that story not to elicit sympathy and certainly not to suggest that my father acted out of malice, for I realize now that he brought his own brokenness to his role as parent. Yet it would be difficult to overestimate the loneliness and abandonment felt by the kid in glasses. I relate that story because, just a bit more than halfway through my allotted three-score-and-ten years, I have come to believe that we, all of us in the community of faith, have stories to tell. 'We are healed by our stories,' Terry Tempest Williams declares."
Balmer began, through a program of therapy, to explore the ways his perception of God had been tied, all his life, to his childish perception of his father: "distant and austere," as he put it, "disapproving and abandoning. Psychologists call this conditional love. I will love you, provided that you meet my conditions. And if you fail at any time to live up to my expectations, I will withhold that love." He began to discover how he had fallen, as a result of this longing, into a legalistic sort of faith:
This made sense to me. I recalled some of the prayers I had heard in church through the years -- "O Father, come and be among us; let us feel your presence" -- and I began to wonder if I wasn't hearing the anguished cry of a son searching for his daddy. Why did evangelicals impose so many rules and strictures on themselves and on their children? Perhaps it had something to do with the way they viewed God -- as a parent, judgmental and demanding, always keeping a tally of our shortcomings and prepared to withhold his approval, his love, from anyone who fell short of the standards.
Balmer found great spiritual meaning by focusing his devotional life not on God the powerful and righteous judge, but on Jesus the son, who knew feelings of abandonment. Sitting in church one day, he recalled Jesus' despairing words on the cross, "My God, my God! Why have you forsaken me?"
As Balmer describes it, "And if I can translate those words yet again, I hear the anguished voice of a distraught son. 'Daddy? Daddy! Where are you, Daddy?'
As I sat in church that wintry December morning I saw the humanity of Jesus for the first time. I saw him during his moment on the cross not as the Son of God proclaiming victory over sin but as the Son of Man, alone and abandoned, at the end of his rope. I identified with Jesus in his moment of utter despair and hopelessness.... This is the God of liberation, not judgment, of hope in the face of despair. This God, who took on human form, allows me to embrace my own humanity."
-- Excerpted from Randall Balmer, Growing Pains: Learning to Love My Father's Faith (Baker Books, 2001).
***
"Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment, and especially on their children than the unlived lives of parents."
-- Carl Jung
***
"An interesting example of the change of English is in its use of the words 'thou' and 'you.' In Elizabethan English, 'you' was the form of address for those of higher status, and 'thou' referred to persons of equal or lower status. The translators were making a strong theological statement when they chose 'thou' in their address to God. God is accessible. Open. We can talk to God directly -- one to one. But now ... English has changed, and (partly because of that translation) 'thou' refers to someone of higher rank. In many churches, God is addressed as 'thou' and people are addressed as 'you.' Those 16th century translators are rolling in their graves."
--Ralph Milton, in his Rumors e-newsletter, September 1999.
Worship Resources
By George Reed
OPENING
Music
Hymns:
"We Believe in One True God"
WORDS: Tobias Clausnitzer, 1668; trans. By Catherine Winkworth, 1863
MUSIC: J. G. Werner's Chorlbuch, 1815; arr. By William H. Havergal, 1861
(c) Public Domain
as found in
UMH # 85
TPH # 137
LBOW # 374
"How Like a Gentle Spirit"
WORDS: C. Eric Lincoln, 1987
MUSIC: Alfred Morton Smith, 1941
Words (c) The United Methodist Publishing House
as found in
UMH # 115
"Children of the Heavenly Father"
WORDS: Caroline V. Sandell-Berg, 1855; trans. By Ernest W. Olson, 1925
MUSIC: Swedish Melody
Trans. (c) 1925, renewed 1953 Augsburg/Fortress
as found in
UMH # 141
LBOW # 474
Songs:
"Glorify Thy Name"
WORDS & MUSIC: Donna Adkins
(c) 1976 Maranatha! Music
as found in
CCB # 8
"You Are Mine"
WORDS & MUSIC: David Haas
(c) 1986 G.I.A. Publications, Inc.
as found in
CCB # 58
"Father, I Adore You"
WORDS & MUSIC: Terrye Coelho
(c) 1972 Maranatha! Music
as found in
CCB # 64
"Doxology"
WORDS & MUSIC: Steve Garnaas-Holmes
(c) 1992 Abingdon Press
as found in
CCB # 94
"Blessed Be the Lord God Almighty"
(c) 1984
Arr. (c) Scripture in Song
as found in
PMMCH# # 6
"Everlasting Father"
(c) 1988 Maranatha! Music
Arr (c) 1991 Maranatha! Music
CALL TO WORSHIP
Leader: Ascribe to the Lord glory and strength.
People: Ascribe to the Lord the glory of the holy Name.
Leader: The voice of the Lord is powerful.
People: The voice of the Lord is full of majesty.
Leader: May the Lord give strength to the people.
People: May the Lord bless us with peace.
or
Leader: God calls you as family to join together.
People: We come as brothers and sisters to worship.
Leader: God calls you to listen to the family stories.
People: We listen as brothers and sisters with those in the Bible.
Leader: God calls you to the family table.
People: We come with joy.
Leader: God calls you sons and daughters. God calls you beloved.
People: We are blessed for our God loves us.
COLLECT/OPENING PRAYER
O God who adopts us as your own: Grant us the grace to accept your loving care of us so that we might care for the rest of your creation; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
or
God, you choose us and make us your own children. You give us all the blessings we are not entitled to and have not earned. We worship and bless your Name and commit ourselves to live as your daughters and sons. Amen.
RESPONSE MUSIC
Hymns:
"Dear Lord and Father of Mankind"
WORDS: John Greenleaf Whittier, 1872
MUSIC: Frederick C. Maker, 1887
(c) Public Domain
as found in
UMH # 358
TPH # 345
LBOW # 506
Hymnal '82 652, 653
"Father, We Thank You"
WORDS: Greek, 2nd cent.; trans. By F. Bland Tucker and others, 1939, 1982
MUSIC: Attr. To Louis Bourgeouis, 1551; harm. By John Wilson, 1979
Trans. (c) 1940, 1943, renewed 1971; 1985 rev. The Church Pension Fund;
harm. (c) 1979 Hope Publishing Co.
as found in
UMH # 565
Hymnal '82 # 302, 303
"Wash, O God, Our Sons nd Daughters"
(especially for baptism or renewal of baptismal vows)
WORDS: Ruth Duck, 1987 (Jn 3:3-8)
MUSIC: Attr. To B. F. While, 1844; harm. By Ronald A. Nelson, 1978
Words (c) 1989 The United Methodist Publishing House
harm. (c) 1978 Lutheran Book of Worship
as found in
UMH # 605
"Child of Blessing, Child of Promise"
(especially for baptism or renewal of baptismal vows)
WORDS: Ronald S. Cole-Turner, 1981
MUSIC:Attr. To C. F. Witt, 1715; adapt. By Henry J. Gauntlett, 1861
Words (c) Ronald S. Cole-Turner
as found in
UMH # 611
TPH # 498
"You Satisfy the Hungry Heart"
(especially for Holy Communion/Eucharist)
WORDS: Omer Westendorf, 1977 (Jn. 6:34; 10:1-5; I Cor. 10:16-17)
MUSIC: Robert E. Kreutz, 1977
(c) 1977 Archdiocese of Philadelphia
as found in
UMH # 629
TPH # 521
"I Want to Walk as a Child of the Light
WORDS & MUSIC: Kathleen Thomerson, 1966
(c) 1970, 1975 Celebration
as found in
UMH # 206
Hymnal '82 # 490
Songs:
"On Eagle's Wings"
WORDS: Michael Joncas
MUSIC: Michael Joncas; harm. By Carlton R. Young
(c) 1979, 1991, New Dawn Music
as found in
CCB # 97
"If My People"
(c) 1992 Maranatha! Music
as found in
PMMCB3 # 172
PRAYERS OF CONFESSION/PARDON
Leader: Let us confess who we truly are, before God and one another.
All: Lord, you have created us. You formed us of the earth and have breathed into us your own breath, your own Spirit, your own life. When we ran away from your loving care, you came after us. You even sent your only begotten Son to bring us back home to you.
We confess that we have spurned your love. We have been deaf to your call, blind to your gifts of love. We have forgotten whose children we are and we have joined ourselves to other families. We have taken the name of Greed, Lust, Anger, Indifference, and a thousand others. We have forsaken the name of Love. We offer ourselves to your great forgiveness and ask that by the power of your Holy Spirit, you would empower us to take up your Name as our name and to live as your people. This is we ask in the Name of our elder brother, Jesus. Amen.
(All pray in silence)
Leader: God does love us and forgives us. God claims us still. In the Name of Jesus Christ, you are forgiven. Thanks be to God.
All: In the Name of Jesus Christ, you are forgiven. Amen. Alleluia!
GENERAL PRAYERS, LITANIES, ETC
We worship and adore you, O God, for you are our loving parent. You gave birth to us as your people and breathed into us your own life and Spirit. Your love is never failing and your blessings are faithful to the thousandth generation.
(The following paragraph is most suitable if a prayer of confession will not be used elsewhere.)
We confess to you the state of our lives. We have forgotten you and have attached ourselves to others. We have looked more like children of sin than as daughters and sons of the Most High. Forgive us and restore us once more to our place of blessing. By the power of your Holy Spirit, allow us to live as your children and your people so that all may glorify your Name.
We thank you for our baptism and place in your Church with all your faithful people. We thank you for all the blessings we have received. (Other specific thanksgiving may be offered.)
We thank you most of all for Jesus Christ who came as our elder brother and claimed us once again as your children.
We lift up to you all those brothers and sisters of ours who do not yet know that they are children of the Most High. May we be the visible signs of your love for them.
We lift up to you all those brothers and sisters of ours who are suffering in body, mind, or spirit. Grant that as your love and spirit minister to them that we might be part of those healing acts. (Other petitions may be offered.)
All these things we pray in the Name of Jesus who taught us to pray together saying: Our Father....
HYMNAL & SONGBOOK ABBREVIATIONS
All copyright info and credits as given are first example cited.
UMH: United Methodist Hymnal
Hymnal '82: The Hymnal 1982, The Episcopal Church
LBOW: Lutheran Book of Worship
TPH: The Presbyterian Hymnal
AAHH: African American Heritage Hymnal
TNNBH: The New National Baptist Hymnal
CCB: Cokesbury Chorus Book
PMMCH3:Praise. Maranatha! Music Chorus Book, Expanded 3rd Edition
Children's Sermon
By Wesley Runk
Romans 8:15-17
Text: When we cry, "Abba! Father!" it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God.... (vv. 15b-16)
Object: Names (have someone write down each child's name on a name tag using the name the child wants God to use when talking with them)
Good morning, boys and girls. Today is a special day for all of us because we are going to learn that God is our parent and a very special parent. The Bible talks about God in a lot of ways. The Bible tells us that God is our Creator, our Savior, our Lord, and uses many any other names. But Jesus called God by a favorite name. A number of times he spoke of God as Father but on special occasions he called God by a very special name, Daddy. How many of you call your father Daddy? (let them answer) And Jesus was not the only one who talked about God as Daddy. In our reading today St. Paul also talks about God as Daddy. The word used in the Bible is "Abba" but that means Daddy more than Father.
When we talk to each other about our male parent, we may call him our father. When we are in school, the teacher talks about your parent as your father. But when you and your father are alone at home or with the rest of the family, you use the word Daddy because it is a sign of being very close and loving. It is a special name we have for someone who loves us very much.
This is the reason why Jesus and others in the Bible talked about God as Daddy. They had a special love for God and they knew that God had a special love for them. It is the same way today. God loves us in special ways. He knows us by our names and watches over us day and night. How would you like God to speak to you? What name do you want God to use when you are talking with God? Let me write down the name you want God to use when he speaks to you. (ask each child their name and question it if they say their name is, for example, Timothy, by asking them if they want to be called Tim or a similar name change)
Names are very important. We have special names that we like our family to use when they are talking to us. We may share that name with friends. But not everyone uses our special name. I am sure you would want God to use your special name when he talks to you and he will. Sometimes you may want to use a special name when you talk with God. You could say, just as Jesus and Paul said, "Abba, this is (use some of the children's special names) Peggy," or "Abba, this is Sammy." God will know exactly to whom he is talking.
One other thing that we learn today is also very special. The Bible tells us that God adopts us and makes us part of his family forever. Because we are adopted that means that we are brothers and sisters of Jesus. How many of you knew that Jesus was your brother? (let them answer) It's true and sometime soon we are going to talk a lot more about this.
Today, we want to remember our special name for God and his special name for us so that we can connect through the power of the Holy Spirit. You can call him "Abba," which means "Daddy," when you pray. God is filled with love for you and wants to share it every day. And don't forget to tell God your special name when you talk with him in prayer. He will love every moment you share together.
The Immediate Word, June 15, 2003, issue.
Copyright 2003 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to The Immediate Word service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons and in worship and classroom settings only. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to permissions@csspub.com or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., P.O. Box 4503, Lima, Ohio 45802-4503.
Sunday June 15 isTrinity Sunday on the church calendar. However, for many people in our culture, and in our churches, the day will be celebrated as Father's Day. This sort of liturgical contest always poses a challenge to preachers. What should we preach?
We at The Immediate Word believe it is possible to deal faithfully with both themes. We have asked team member Carlos Wilton to use the lectionary reading from Romans 8:12-17 to explore the meaning of God as parent and how that image illuminates not only God's relationship to us, but also other parental relationships that may exist with and for children.
Also included are team comments, related illustrations, worship resources, and a children's sermon.
"Who's Your Daddy?"
by Carlos Wilton
Romans 8:12-17
THE MESSAGE ON A POSTCARD
What to do about Father's Day? Along with Mother's Day and other secular holidays, Father's Day does not belong to the liturgical year. According to the lectionary, this June 15th is not Father's Day at all, but Trinity Sunday: the Sunday immediately following Pentecost when we're encouraged to teach the doctrine of the Trinity.
The theologian in us may opt for Trinity Sunday, but the pastor in us is aware that many of our listeners -- at least in the U.S.A. -- will have fatherhood on their minds.
So what's a preacher to do?
This week's Epistle lesson, Romans 8:12-17, offers the opportunity to go in either or both directions: "For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption. When we cry, 'Abba! Father!' it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs ..." (Romans 8:15-17, NRSV).
"Who's Your Daddy?" is our Immediate Word topic. For children with a living father, that question instantly gives them a place in the world. Yet we all grow up. In time, our older guides are no longer with us (though they may live on in memory). Romans 8:15 highlights not so much the traditional image of God as male, as the relationship between God -- the caring, nurturing adoptive parent -- and us. This "spirit of adoption" banishes fear.
Adoption is a rich biblical metaphor, highlighting our utter reliance on salvation by grace through faith. It also affords a pastoral opportunity to celebrate the richness of human adoptive relationships, which are undoubtedly present in nearly every congregation.
SOME WORDS ON THE WORD
Paul introduces, in this passage, the theological concept of adoption: that we are members of God's family not by birthright, but by grace alone. Along with many other commentators, William Barclay is convinced that Paul's understanding of adoption comes not from Jewish legal sources (which have little to say about adoption), but from Roman law. Barclay details the process by which a person could take the rare step of being transferred from one patriarchal Roman family (patria potestas) to another:
There were two steps. The first was known as mancipatio, and was carried out by a symbolic sale, in which copper and scales were symbolically used. Three times the symbolism of sale was carried out. Twice the father symbolically sold his son, and twice he bought him back; but the third time he did not buy him back and thus the patria potestas was held to be broken. There followed a ceremony called vindicatio. The adopting father went to the praetor, one of the Roman magistrates, and presented a legal case for the transference of the person to be adopted into his patria potestas. When all this was completed, the adoption was complete. Clearly this was a serious and an impressive step.1
Barclay goes on to say that "in law, the old life of the adopted person was completely wiped out; for instance, all debts were cancelled. He was regarded as a new person entering into a new life with which the past had nothing to do. In the eyes of the law he was absolutely the son of his new father."
The consequence of this adoption is that we are heirs. Just as the Roman adoptee was eligible for the same inheritance as the biological sons, so we -- by grace -- are eligible for the same benefits as God's son, Jesus Christ. We are written into the will, in a manner of speaking: but the will is not yet probated. God's promise is trustworthy, but has yet to be fulfilled.
Ominously, there are other things Christians may be called to share, in the days before the promise is fulfilled and the inheritance bestowed. Christians may be called "to suffer with [Christ] so that we may also be glorified with him."2
The occurrence of the word "Abba" in this passage as an address for God is significant. The word, which also occurs in the same sense in Mark 14:36 and Galatians 4:6, is an Aramaic term of endearment, indicating a close and affectionate family tie. While it's probably going too far to claim, as some commentators have, that it's the Aramaic equivalent of the childlike expression, "Daddy," the term does imply familiarity. Thus it is appropriately paired, here, with Paul's exposition of adoption -- indicating that the Christian is, indeed, welcomed into God's family.
The consequences of this, for Christian living, are dramatic:
We are brought near to the heart of God through the spirit of adoption, and not shut in the back room to make way for the "real" children, whoever we think the real children may be. Sometimes we think the elders of the church, pious Christians, pastors or other brave souls who make sacrifices for their faith, are the real Christians, the real children of God. But Paul says, "We are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ." Through the spirit of adoption we become part of the family, and are invited forward to whisper "Mommy" or "Daddy" into the ear.3
A MAP OF THE MESSAGE
Noted preacher and homiletics professor Fred Craddock tells this story:
In a certain village the school bell rang at 8:30 a.m. to call the children to class. The boys and girls left their homes and toys reluctantly, creeping like snails into the school, not late but not a second early. The bell rang again at 3:30 p.m., releasing the children to homes and toys, to which they rushed at the very moment of the tolling of the bell. This is how it was every day, with every child except one. She came early to help the teacher prepare the room and materials for the day. She stayed late to help the teacher clean the board, dust erasers, and put away materials. And during the day she sat close to the teacher, all eyes and ears for the lessons being taught. One day when noise and inattention were worse than usual, the teacher called the class to order. Pointing to the little girl in the front row, the teacher said, "Why can you not be as she is? She comes early to help, she stays late to help, and all day long she is attentive and courteous."
"It isn't fair to ask us to be as she is," said one boy from the rear of the room.
"Why?"
"Because she has an advantage," he replied.
"I don't understand. What is her advantage?" asked the puzzled teacher.
"She is an orphan," he almost whispered as he sat down.4
Family is where you find it. The orphan girl in Craddock's story knows this, intuitively and maybe even subconsciously. The schoolteacher is surprised to discover how desperately this quiet, obedient girl looks to the teacher as a parental figure.
Countless others have learned this truth that family is where you find it -- or maybe it's better to say, "Where you make it." Many who have known varying degrees of dysfunction in their families of origin -- or perhaps (as in the case of adoptive or foster children) were scarcely acquainted with their biological families at all -- have successfully managed to create family units by marriage or by other intentional arrangement. It's pastorally appropriate -- indeed, it's a pastoral imperative -- to celebrate such non-traditional families, along with the traditional two-parents-with-children model.
Family is a hot-button issue today. Political rhetoric puffs the importance of vaguely-defined "family values." Everyone seems to be in favor of family values, but no one seems to agree on a definition of what they are.
Today's lesson from Romans 8 speaks about God's family values: and curiously, it has nothing to do with biological family. The family of God is composed exclusively of adoptees. Heaven, in Paul's imagination, is one great, big non-traditional family, composed of people who are not related to one another by blood: Christians have received, he says, "a spirit of adoption" (Romans 8:15, NRSV). When it comes to God's grace, all of us are on an equal footing. Some of us who have grown up in the church may imagine we've received our church membership as a birthright, but in fact we're all adopted: both cradle Christians and late-in-life converts.
Much of what's been said in the national debate about families assumes that the biological family is superior to other forms of family (such as foster or adoptive families, or alternative groupings like disabled individuals living in group homes). This preference has been demonstrated in the courts, which in several celebrated cases have upheld the rights of biological parents over those of adoptive parents -- in some cases, even when the child has lived with the adoptive family for longer than the biological one. If God's family is not composed of biologically-linked individuals, but is rather a vast household of adopted siblings, then what does this say about society's unquestioned assumption that biological families are the ideal family pattern?
Reading further in Romans 8, beyond the parameters of the lectionary passage, we discover what's truly essential to God's family values. The essential ingredient is love: "... all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn within a large family."5
This "large family" of God -- apart from the three persons of the Trinity, who are its original members -- is an adoptive family. To those who, by grace, are privileged by divine adoption to dwell in that family, Paul promises that "neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."6
The 1999 film, Cider House Rules (based on a novel of the same name by John Irving), provides one of the most vivid examples in recent cinema of what it means to be adopted. Dr. Wilbur Larch (Michael Caine), an obstetrician, runs an orphanage in St. Cloud, Maine, in the 1940s. This quirky, Dickensian character -- despite many personal flaws (including a secret addiction to the ether he uses in his medical practice) -- leads an orphanage staff that provides, against difficult odds, a stable home life for dozens of young orphans. The crusty Dr. Larch is a loving patriarch, who ends each day by standing in the dormitory doorway and bestowing upon his charges this unconventional blessing: "Goodnight, you princes of Maine, you Kings of New England." These wards of the state have no such birthright, of course (and indeed, in the American democracy, no such birthright exists). Yet the birthright exists in Dr. Larch's mind, and by intoning those words night after night, he makes his young charges feel like royalty.
As caring as the orphanage staff is, however, the large, rambling house still has an institutional feel. The children fantasize about the day when some real parents will show up and adopt them. In one poignant scene, a young soldier in uniform and his wife drive up to the orphanage, to look the children over and choose one for their own (the story takes place long before the establishment of modern social-services screening techniques). Hurriedly, the children put on their best clothes and spruce themselves up, each one hoping to appear sufficiently adoptable. Inevitably, only one child is successful, and the others sadly return to the dormitory, hoping that the next time it will be them. There is no such limitation in God's house; there is plenty of room in God's family for all.
Cider House Rules focuses on the character of Homer Wells (Tobey Maguire), a boy on the edge of adolescence who's already reached the upper age-range of those likely to be adopted. Realizing this, Dr. Larch singles Homer out as someone whom he'd like to mentor into the medical profession. Much of the story is about Homer's struggle with the conflict between his "good-enough" family that is orphanage staff, and his persistent, idealized vision of a "real" family.
"The film's message," write reviewers Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat, "is simple and clear as a bell: We are all orphans with a little bit of Bedouin in our blood, wrestling with who we are, where we come from, and why we're here at all. Go where you are wanted. Go where you are needed. Go where you belong."7
On this Trinity Sunday, it may be well to remind our congregations that, in classic Christian theology, the ties that bind the three persons of the Trinity together are the ties of love. Hymn writer Brian Wren, in "How Wonderful the Three-In-One," celebrates this aspect of the Triune God:
whose energies of dancing light
are undivided, pure and good,
communing love in shared delight.
Some theologians have likened love to the life-blood of the Trinity. Love is shared liberally among the three persons, circulating among them as the essence of divine life itself. Those who are adopted into God's family share a small portion of this ever-circulating divine love.
Yet even so, the doctrine of the Trinity is heavy with mystery. The precise interrelationship of the three persons -- not so much described in scripture as adduced from it -- is hard for earthbound human minds to comprehend. In a poem entitled "Trinity Sunday," George Herbert expresses both the frustration and the resignation that there are some truths we can learn only imperfectly in this life:
The statelier cabinet is the Trinitie,
Whose sparkling light accesse denies:
Therefore thou dost not show
This fully to us, till death blow
The dust into our eyes:
For by that powder thou wilt make us see.
For those wishing to address the theme of fatherhood on Father's Day, it could be useful to explore what it means to be a father when the father himself is adopted. This, indeed, is the case -- spiritually speaking -- with all Christian fathers: while many of us have biological fathers who are either living or whom we honor in memory, in fact (as Paul reminds us) we are all adopted members of God's family. Just as adopted children often have to learn the rules and traditions of their adoptive families in intentional ways their biological siblings do not, so the Christian way of parenting is a skill that must be continually learned and refined.
Last year, the New York Times ran a remarkable article about a young father from the Bronx named H.R. Vargas, who grew up in one of the most dysfunctional family situations imaginable. The child of an adulterous affair, he did not even meet his biological father until he was 21 years old -- and then it was by accident. Vargas' childhood was spent shuttling between his mother, who beat him, and various foster homes. As a teenager, he became involved for a time with the drug trade, and was imprisoned, but eventually managed to break free from that destructive world.
Always, the legacy of his father's adultery and subsequent abandonment of him has haunted him. In the words of the Timesarticle,
"Mr. Vargas, 25, known to his friends as Spirit, wears the broken commandment like a heavy chain around his neck. He says it has done nothing short of devastating his life.
'When you commit adultery, you break a promise,' he said, 'not only to the woman you are in a committed relationship with, not only to the woman you had an affair with, but maybe most importantly to the children born from the affair. My pops was never a father to me. He broke his promise to me on the day I was born. I paid for that broken promise hard, real hard.'
Vargas and his wife, Marilyn, welcomed a son into the world, and then twins -- one of whom died in infancy. As he seeks to be a good father to their two living sons, Vargas has set out on an intentional search for role models.
As part of that journey, Mr. Vargas took the rather unusual step of seeking to be adopted as an adult. He asked his friend and mentor, an Episcopal priest named Gordon Duggins, to legally adopt him. "I adopted him because he asked me to adopt him," Father Duggins described it. "He wanted a parent. The parent usually chooses the child, but I was chosen. The power of this choice was tremendous."
Vargas has found this adoptive relationship to be a beacon for him, as he tries to be a good parent with frighteningly little in the way of role models. "Now I finally have a pops," he told the Times interviewer. "I need his help. I need to break down the patterns I had before. I need love. I am like a small child that makes a lot of mistakes. People have to be patient with me. I have no experience with this. I never had a father. No one wanted me for a son."8
H.R. Vargas' story is a sort of parable of what it means to be a Christian parent. Those of us who are called to parenthood seek to be adopted by God, so we may better parent our own children.
Notes
1 Daily Study Bible: Romans, Romans 8:12-17 (Edinburgh: St. Andrew Press, 1975).
2 Romans 8:17.
3 Verity Jones, "Up For Adoption," The Christian Century, July 3-10, 2002, p. 22.
4 Fred B. Craddock, Craddock Stories (St. Louis: Chalice Press, 2001), p. 16.
5 Romans 8:28-29.
6 Romans 8:38-39.
7 www.spiritualityhealth.com/newsh/items/moviereview/item_1998.html.
8 Chris Hedges, "For Child of an Affair, Bitterness Lingers," New York Times, December 21, 2002.
Team Comments
George Murphy responds: We are children of God by adoption -- we who were (it is wise never to forget it) "children of wrath, like everyone else" (Ephesians 2:3). Often those who are contemplating adoption look for children with very specific qualities -- a certain gender or race, without any health problems, and so forth. Children who are handicapped in one way or another may be bypassed in the adoption process as couples look for the mythical "perfect child." The biblical picture of the divine adoption process is quite different, with God seeking out those with the most serious defect of sinning and leading them by the Spirit to be God's own children.
And yet this is not something that takes place simply by divine fiat. We are adopted as children of God for the sake of the one who is by nature the eternal child of God, Jesus Christ. The idea that we, as sinful and limited creatures, should address the creator of the universe with the familiar "Abba" would be the height of presumption -- if we were not invited and even ordered to do so by the Son of God who tells us to pray, "Our Father...."
And the Spirit in which we are enabled to pray to God as our loving parent is the Spirit who empowered Jesus in his ministry, the Spirit who is the bond of love between Father and Son. The community spirit of God is poured out to be the community spirit of God's adoptive family.
As with a number of other New Testament passages, the Trinitarian note in Romans 8:12-17 is rather low key. The point does not seem to be to teach explicitly about the Trinity. But when Paul speaks here about what God does in us, there is a clear Trinitarian structure, as if that were the natural and almost unconscious way of speaking about God: The Spirit enables us to know that we are joint heirs with the Son and thus to address the Father. It is only later that the church's reflection on the experience described here is developed into formal statements about the Trinity, but the reality is already here.
Carter Shelley responds: I'm am very impressed with the way you keep the biblical word in Romans at the center of this discussion while offering more than a nod to Father's Day. I was a little confused by the explanation Barclay provides for the Roman practice of adoption. Does the biological father perform the first two steps and the adopting father the third step? Along those lines, it seems to me that Caesar Augustus ended up adopting Tiberius as son and successor, due to the former's lack of a biological male heir.
The notion of a father intentionally choosing a son or daughter through adoption makes a powerful statement about the relationship between the two parties. Moreover, the move Paul and you make to God's adoption of us attains greater meaning when presented in this context. The Old Testament covenant model of God as a king and believers as obedient subjects (" I will be your God, if you will be my people) shifts to one of parent and child in the New Testament. While the word "Daddy" doesn't precisely translate the Aramaic word Jesus uses in The Lord's Prayer, it is the best analogy we have in English for the intimacy and parent child relationship Jesus models there. I've noticed that most American children refer to their fathers as "Daddy" during their childhood years, and then move on to "Dad" upon reaching adulthood. The distinction is not one of affection but one of dependence and inequality. The child knows he or she is dependent upon the father for food, clothing, housing, protection, and love. Upon reaching one's majority, most are able to provide the necessities of life for themselves. They still need a parent, but the primary need that continues is the need for love and affirmation from "Dad." As Christians we never outgrow our dependence upon God. While we may be an adult in years, even an adult in faith matters, we remain forever a child of God, ergo "Daddy" not "Dad."
As you aptly acknowledge in content and with illustrations, not everyone has positive connotations for fathers. When an individual is raised solely by a mother or in an orphanage, the notion of a loving, ever present, engaged father is an alien analogy. When an individual has suffered physical or emotional abuse at the hands of a father, it's nie impossible for that experience not to carry over to that person's understanding of God. This reality strongly argues for additional language to describe God in order to expand the concept of who God is and how God relates beyond the confines of one word. Feminist biblical scholars do not so much reject the notion of God as father, as they reject the notion that this term holds equal meaning for all Christians or that one such word can adequately encompass God's divinity. The Trinity itself demonstrates how complex and all encompassing God's reality truly is for humans.
Several film examples of fathers come to mind for me. I've always loved the father in Cheaper by the Dozen. He clearly loves his children, has fun with them, is ambitious for them, spends as much time with them as possible, and maintains authority and discipline in relationship to them. Upon his premature death, it is clear that the love, values, education, and discipline he and his wife have provided have resulted in children who can stand on their own and successfully make their way in the world.
Ron Howard's intergenerational movie Parenthood provides some true to life examples of 20th century fathers. They are men struggling to get parenting right and to help their children develop and grow as emotionally and mentally healthy children. Several insights from the movie are particularly powerful. In one scene Jason Robards, the father, tells his son, played by Steve Martin, how much he resented the son when the he was seriously ill as a child. The resentment stems from the terror and anxiety the boy's illness caused the father who loves his son so much. In the same scene the father explains how being a parent never ends. One may think that one is through worrying about one's children when they become grown-ups, but such is not the case. Being a parent is a life sentence, similar to the one God accepts in adopting us.
In the recent movie About Schmidt, Jack Nicholson portrays a recently retired insurance actuary, who himself views his daughter as "the apple of his eye," yet has never been able to verbally or emotionally express this love to her. In fact, it is clear in the movie that the daughter has not felt such love was available from her father. Where he seems to see the music lessons, horseback riding lessons, and many other economically based opportunities he's provided as evidence of his love, she does not. An irony in the film exists in the way Schmidt reveals his soul and his heart in letters written to an illiterate six-year-old child living in Tanzania in a way Schmidt never could to his wife or daughter.
For those of us who do not always feel we are "good" parents, I find comfort in the humanity of biblical fathers and mothers. Abraham abrogates his responsibility for Ishmael. Jacob's favoritism of Joseph over against Jacob's other sons leads to jealousy and disaster. David's avoidance of paternal interference after son Amnon rapes half-sister Tamar, leads one to murder, rebellion, and the death of two sons, Amnon and Absalom.
I love Country Music lyrics. Some of the lyrics are trite and obvious. Some are witty, clever word plays. Some are idealistic and sentimental. What I love most is the way they provide a succinct synopsis of life. The best country music songs present the real world and insights about human lives in it. Because I love country music lyrics, I did a little online search to see what the word "Daddy" would surface. The most obvious example is "Daddy's Hands" by Holly Dunn. The chorus goes:
Daddy's hands were soft and kind when I was cryin'
Daddy's hands were hard as steel when I'd done wrong
Daddy's hands weren't always gentle but I've come to understand
There was always love in Daddy's hands.
Several country music songs I prefer are actually sung by the father. The first is Phil Vassar's "Just Another Day in Paradise." This song beautifully illustrates the hectic but joyful lives working couples with small children have. Another song, I've always liked but don't know the performers name or title is one a father sings about his eight-year-old daughter, as he comes to realize that the objectification and sexualization of women may be one of the things she inherits. Ordinarily, feminist sentiments are expressed by women country music performers, but in this instance a male voice makes a powerful protest on behalf of daughters.
Related Illustrations
"We -- God's Children! Consider and bear in mind the vast unobservability, impossibility, and paradox of these words. Remember that, in daring this predication, we are taking the miraculous, primal, creative step which Abraham took; we are taking the step of faith, the step over the abyss from the old to the new creation, which God alone can take. We -- God's children! In uttering these words either we are talking blasphemy or we are singing the song of the redeemed."
-- Karl Barth, The Epistle to the Romans, trans. Edwyn C. Hoskins (London: Oxford, 1933), p. 299.
***
In 1999, the Sixty Minutes television show presented a program about a group of baby elephants who, as a result of overpopulation, had been relocated to a different African game preserve. The gamekeepers were initially concerned about the baby elephants' prospects for survival, but they made it successfully to adulthood.
There was only one problem: the behavior of these young elephants proved to be aberrant. A decade or so after the transfer, it became apparent that someone in the vicinity had been killing off rhinoceros, which are an endangered species. To the gamekeepers' amazement, it turned out that young male elephants were the culprits: a behavior they had never before seen in elephants.
They speculated that the reason for this was that the young males had grown up without male role models. And so, using new technology, the researchers transported in several mature bull elephants.
The experiment worked. The young males immediately stopped their precocious, rampant sexuality, killing and violence.
The researchers' conclusion was that fathers do matter, even in elephants.
-- Sixty Minutes, January 20, 1999.
***
"Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you."
-- Robert Fulghum
***
"[Jerry] Seinfeld is 48 and has been married since 1999 to Jessica Sklar, with whom he has a daughter, Sascha, who will turn 2 in November. And that, he says, has changed not only his outlook on life but his approach to comedy.
"I didn't know there was a laugh that was better than any laugh I had ever heard before," he says. "But there is. That one little girl laughing is better than 3,000 people. Since my whole life is about getting a laugh, to have something come along that creates a new category above everything else, that kind of stopped me in my tracks."
--"Going Hunting in Seinfeld Country, Just for Laughs," by Rick Lyman, New York Times, September 16, 2002.
***
Theologian Randall Balmer tells how, on the advice of a friend, he placed a 1961 photo of himself as a boy on his office desk as a kind of therapy. He looked at the photo off and on for several weeks, before it began to speak to him:
"For weeks, the only response that picture inspired in me was laughter. The photograph was taken in 1961, and all my hair was chopped off. That, combined with the spectacles perched awkwardly on my nose, made for a comic figure.
But then one morning, while seated at my desk, it all came back. In 1961, we lived in a parsonage next to the church out in the farm country of southern Minnesota, and there was nothing in the world more important to me than baseball. One day my father returned from town with a plastic bat and ball. 'Let's play ball,' he said. I couldn't have been more excited, in part because I knew, even then, that my father had no interest whatsoever in sports of any kind. I recall what happened next as though it were yesterday. After swinging wildly at a couple of pitches, I decided to let a few go by. Somehow, even in first grade, I had learned enough about baseball to know that four balls constituted a walk and, perhaps to save myself the embarrassment of swinging and missing more pitches, I elected to draw a base on balls.
'Well, what's the point of all this?' my father huffed. 'If you don't swing, I'm just wasting my time.' He tossed the ball in my direction, turned, and headed back to his study.
We never played ball again.
I tell that story not to elicit sympathy and certainly not to suggest that my father acted out of malice, for I realize now that he brought his own brokenness to his role as parent. Yet it would be difficult to overestimate the loneliness and abandonment felt by the kid in glasses. I relate that story because, just a bit more than halfway through my allotted three-score-and-ten years, I have come to believe that we, all of us in the community of faith, have stories to tell. 'We are healed by our stories,' Terry Tempest Williams declares."
Balmer began, through a program of therapy, to explore the ways his perception of God had been tied, all his life, to his childish perception of his father: "distant and austere," as he put it, "disapproving and abandoning. Psychologists call this conditional love. I will love you, provided that you meet my conditions. And if you fail at any time to live up to my expectations, I will withhold that love." He began to discover how he had fallen, as a result of this longing, into a legalistic sort of faith:
This made sense to me. I recalled some of the prayers I had heard in church through the years -- "O Father, come and be among us; let us feel your presence" -- and I began to wonder if I wasn't hearing the anguished cry of a son searching for his daddy. Why did evangelicals impose so many rules and strictures on themselves and on their children? Perhaps it had something to do with the way they viewed God -- as a parent, judgmental and demanding, always keeping a tally of our shortcomings and prepared to withhold his approval, his love, from anyone who fell short of the standards.
Balmer found great spiritual meaning by focusing his devotional life not on God the powerful and righteous judge, but on Jesus the son, who knew feelings of abandonment. Sitting in church one day, he recalled Jesus' despairing words on the cross, "My God, my God! Why have you forsaken me?"
As Balmer describes it, "And if I can translate those words yet again, I hear the anguished voice of a distraught son. 'Daddy? Daddy! Where are you, Daddy?'
As I sat in church that wintry December morning I saw the humanity of Jesus for the first time. I saw him during his moment on the cross not as the Son of God proclaiming victory over sin but as the Son of Man, alone and abandoned, at the end of his rope. I identified with Jesus in his moment of utter despair and hopelessness.... This is the God of liberation, not judgment, of hope in the face of despair. This God, who took on human form, allows me to embrace my own humanity."
-- Excerpted from Randall Balmer, Growing Pains: Learning to Love My Father's Faith (Baker Books, 2001).
***
"Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment, and especially on their children than the unlived lives of parents."
-- Carl Jung
***
"An interesting example of the change of English is in its use of the words 'thou' and 'you.' In Elizabethan English, 'you' was the form of address for those of higher status, and 'thou' referred to persons of equal or lower status. The translators were making a strong theological statement when they chose 'thou' in their address to God. God is accessible. Open. We can talk to God directly -- one to one. But now ... English has changed, and (partly because of that translation) 'thou' refers to someone of higher rank. In many churches, God is addressed as 'thou' and people are addressed as 'you.' Those 16th century translators are rolling in their graves."
--Ralph Milton, in his Rumors e-newsletter, September 1999.
Worship Resources
By George Reed
OPENING
Music
Hymns:
"We Believe in One True God"
WORDS: Tobias Clausnitzer, 1668; trans. By Catherine Winkworth, 1863
MUSIC: J. G. Werner's Chorlbuch, 1815; arr. By William H. Havergal, 1861
(c) Public Domain
as found in
UMH # 85
TPH # 137
LBOW # 374
"How Like a Gentle Spirit"
WORDS: C. Eric Lincoln, 1987
MUSIC: Alfred Morton Smith, 1941
Words (c) The United Methodist Publishing House
as found in
UMH # 115
"Children of the Heavenly Father"
WORDS: Caroline V. Sandell-Berg, 1855; trans. By Ernest W. Olson, 1925
MUSIC: Swedish Melody
Trans. (c) 1925, renewed 1953 Augsburg/Fortress
as found in
UMH # 141
LBOW # 474
Songs:
"Glorify Thy Name"
WORDS & MUSIC: Donna Adkins
(c) 1976 Maranatha! Music
as found in
CCB # 8
"You Are Mine"
WORDS & MUSIC: David Haas
(c) 1986 G.I.A. Publications, Inc.
as found in
CCB # 58
"Father, I Adore You"
WORDS & MUSIC: Terrye Coelho
(c) 1972 Maranatha! Music
as found in
CCB # 64
"Doxology"
WORDS & MUSIC: Steve Garnaas-Holmes
(c) 1992 Abingdon Press
as found in
CCB # 94
"Blessed Be the Lord God Almighty"
(c) 1984
Arr. (c) Scripture in Song
as found in
PMMCH# # 6
"Everlasting Father"
(c) 1988 Maranatha! Music
Arr (c) 1991 Maranatha! Music
CALL TO WORSHIP
Leader: Ascribe to the Lord glory and strength.
People: Ascribe to the Lord the glory of the holy Name.
Leader: The voice of the Lord is powerful.
People: The voice of the Lord is full of majesty.
Leader: May the Lord give strength to the people.
People: May the Lord bless us with peace.
or
Leader: God calls you as family to join together.
People: We come as brothers and sisters to worship.
Leader: God calls you to listen to the family stories.
People: We listen as brothers and sisters with those in the Bible.
Leader: God calls you to the family table.
People: We come with joy.
Leader: God calls you sons and daughters. God calls you beloved.
People: We are blessed for our God loves us.
COLLECT/OPENING PRAYER
O God who adopts us as your own: Grant us the grace to accept your loving care of us so that we might care for the rest of your creation; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
or
God, you choose us and make us your own children. You give us all the blessings we are not entitled to and have not earned. We worship and bless your Name and commit ourselves to live as your daughters and sons. Amen.
RESPONSE MUSIC
Hymns:
"Dear Lord and Father of Mankind"
WORDS: John Greenleaf Whittier, 1872
MUSIC: Frederick C. Maker, 1887
(c) Public Domain
as found in
UMH # 358
TPH # 345
LBOW # 506
Hymnal '82 652, 653
"Father, We Thank You"
WORDS: Greek, 2nd cent.; trans. By F. Bland Tucker and others, 1939, 1982
MUSIC: Attr. To Louis Bourgeouis, 1551; harm. By John Wilson, 1979
Trans. (c) 1940, 1943, renewed 1971; 1985 rev. The Church Pension Fund;
harm. (c) 1979 Hope Publishing Co.
as found in
UMH # 565
Hymnal '82 # 302, 303
"Wash, O God, Our Sons nd Daughters"
(especially for baptism or renewal of baptismal vows)
WORDS: Ruth Duck, 1987 (Jn 3:3-8)
MUSIC: Attr. To B. F. While, 1844; harm. By Ronald A. Nelson, 1978
Words (c) 1989 The United Methodist Publishing House
harm. (c) 1978 Lutheran Book of Worship
as found in
UMH # 605
"Child of Blessing, Child of Promise"
(especially for baptism or renewal of baptismal vows)
WORDS: Ronald S. Cole-Turner, 1981
MUSIC:Attr. To C. F. Witt, 1715; adapt. By Henry J. Gauntlett, 1861
Words (c) Ronald S. Cole-Turner
as found in
UMH # 611
TPH # 498
"You Satisfy the Hungry Heart"
(especially for Holy Communion/Eucharist)
WORDS: Omer Westendorf, 1977 (Jn. 6:34; 10:1-5; I Cor. 10:16-17)
MUSIC: Robert E. Kreutz, 1977
(c) 1977 Archdiocese of Philadelphia
as found in
UMH # 629
TPH # 521
"I Want to Walk as a Child of the Light
WORDS & MUSIC: Kathleen Thomerson, 1966
(c) 1970, 1975 Celebration
as found in
UMH # 206
Hymnal '82 # 490
Songs:
"On Eagle's Wings"
WORDS: Michael Joncas
MUSIC: Michael Joncas; harm. By Carlton R. Young
(c) 1979, 1991, New Dawn Music
as found in
CCB # 97
"If My People"
(c) 1992 Maranatha! Music
as found in
PMMCB3 # 172
PRAYERS OF CONFESSION/PARDON
Leader: Let us confess who we truly are, before God and one another.
All: Lord, you have created us. You formed us of the earth and have breathed into us your own breath, your own Spirit, your own life. When we ran away from your loving care, you came after us. You even sent your only begotten Son to bring us back home to you.
We confess that we have spurned your love. We have been deaf to your call, blind to your gifts of love. We have forgotten whose children we are and we have joined ourselves to other families. We have taken the name of Greed, Lust, Anger, Indifference, and a thousand others. We have forsaken the name of Love. We offer ourselves to your great forgiveness and ask that by the power of your Holy Spirit, you would empower us to take up your Name as our name and to live as your people. This is we ask in the Name of our elder brother, Jesus. Amen.
(All pray in silence)
Leader: God does love us and forgives us. God claims us still. In the Name of Jesus Christ, you are forgiven. Thanks be to God.
All: In the Name of Jesus Christ, you are forgiven. Amen. Alleluia!
GENERAL PRAYERS, LITANIES, ETC
We worship and adore you, O God, for you are our loving parent. You gave birth to us as your people and breathed into us your own life and Spirit. Your love is never failing and your blessings are faithful to the thousandth generation.
(The following paragraph is most suitable if a prayer of confession will not be used elsewhere.)
We confess to you the state of our lives. We have forgotten you and have attached ourselves to others. We have looked more like children of sin than as daughters and sons of the Most High. Forgive us and restore us once more to our place of blessing. By the power of your Holy Spirit, allow us to live as your children and your people so that all may glorify your Name.
We thank you for our baptism and place in your Church with all your faithful people. We thank you for all the blessings we have received. (Other specific thanksgiving may be offered.)
We thank you most of all for Jesus Christ who came as our elder brother and claimed us once again as your children.
We lift up to you all those brothers and sisters of ours who do not yet know that they are children of the Most High. May we be the visible signs of your love for them.
We lift up to you all those brothers and sisters of ours who are suffering in body, mind, or spirit. Grant that as your love and spirit minister to them that we might be part of those healing acts. (Other petitions may be offered.)
All these things we pray in the Name of Jesus who taught us to pray together saying: Our Father....
HYMNAL & SONGBOOK ABBREVIATIONS
All copyright info and credits as given are first example cited.
UMH: United Methodist Hymnal
Hymnal '82: The Hymnal 1982, The Episcopal Church
LBOW: Lutheran Book of Worship
TPH: The Presbyterian Hymnal
AAHH: African American Heritage Hymnal
TNNBH: The New National Baptist Hymnal
CCB: Cokesbury Chorus Book
PMMCH3:Praise. Maranatha! Music Chorus Book, Expanded 3rd Edition
Children's Sermon
By Wesley Runk
Romans 8:15-17
Text: When we cry, "Abba! Father!" it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God.... (vv. 15b-16)
Object: Names (have someone write down each child's name on a name tag using the name the child wants God to use when talking with them)
Good morning, boys and girls. Today is a special day for all of us because we are going to learn that God is our parent and a very special parent. The Bible talks about God in a lot of ways. The Bible tells us that God is our Creator, our Savior, our Lord, and uses many any other names. But Jesus called God by a favorite name. A number of times he spoke of God as Father but on special occasions he called God by a very special name, Daddy. How many of you call your father Daddy? (let them answer) And Jesus was not the only one who talked about God as Daddy. In our reading today St. Paul also talks about God as Daddy. The word used in the Bible is "Abba" but that means Daddy more than Father.
When we talk to each other about our male parent, we may call him our father. When we are in school, the teacher talks about your parent as your father. But when you and your father are alone at home or with the rest of the family, you use the word Daddy because it is a sign of being very close and loving. It is a special name we have for someone who loves us very much.
This is the reason why Jesus and others in the Bible talked about God as Daddy. They had a special love for God and they knew that God had a special love for them. It is the same way today. God loves us in special ways. He knows us by our names and watches over us day and night. How would you like God to speak to you? What name do you want God to use when you are talking with God? Let me write down the name you want God to use when he speaks to you. (ask each child their name and question it if they say their name is, for example, Timothy, by asking them if they want to be called Tim or a similar name change)
Names are very important. We have special names that we like our family to use when they are talking to us. We may share that name with friends. But not everyone uses our special name. I am sure you would want God to use your special name when he talks to you and he will. Sometimes you may want to use a special name when you talk with God. You could say, just as Jesus and Paul said, "Abba, this is (use some of the children's special names) Peggy," or "Abba, this is Sammy." God will know exactly to whom he is talking.
One other thing that we learn today is also very special. The Bible tells us that God adopts us and makes us part of his family forever. Because we are adopted that means that we are brothers and sisters of Jesus. How many of you knew that Jesus was your brother? (let them answer) It's true and sometime soon we are going to talk a lot more about this.
Today, we want to remember our special name for God and his special name for us so that we can connect through the power of the Holy Spirit. You can call him "Abba," which means "Daddy," when you pray. God is filled with love for you and wants to share it every day. And don't forget to tell God your special name when you talk with him in prayer. He will love every moment you share together.
The Immediate Word, June 15, 2003, issue.
Copyright 2003 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to The Immediate Word service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons and in worship and classroom settings only. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to permissions@csspub.com or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., P.O. Box 4503, Lima, Ohio 45802-4503.
