The Wild and Crazy Wedding Feast
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For October 15, 2023:
The Wild and Crazy Wedding Feast
by Chris Keating
Matthew 22:1-14
NOTE: The introduction to this week’s article was written prior to Saturday’s attacks on Israel by Hamas. The “In the News” section has been changed to include references to this ongoing situation. All references are current as of October 9, 2023.
First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the costly hassles involved with planning a beautiful reception. Just ask the king in the parable of the wedding feast. This guy’s to-do list is filled with everything from booking bands and renting chair covers to ordering platters of antipasto and baked ziti. It’s no wonder that the king seems a bit testy when people refuse to show up.
Clearly, this is no ordinary wedding feast. Just when you’re expecting the upbeat Franck Eggelhoffer, the fictious wedding planner played by Martin Short in Father of the Bride, Linda Blair’s character from The Exorsist shows up instead.
Holy crudites! Just what is happening in this allegory of life in the kingdom?
Layered in these verses is a call to come into God’s eschatological feast. It’s a call that requires our full, wholehearted response. Yet, too often we exchange that responsibility for bad behavior. A good example is the way Congress, for many reasons, ousted Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy. Like guests beating up the king’s representatives, a minority of representatives plunged the entire House of Representatives into chaos. The feast is over, at least for now.
The tradeoff in firing McCarthy is that nothing gets done in the House until a new speaker is elected. So while representatives may bang their gavel loudly, they have sidelined themselves from the job they were elected to do.
It’s clear this is just a tip of the American political iceberg. Some conservatives believe there’s blame to be shared on both sides of aisle, which perhaps circles back to Matthew’s reminder that “many are called, but few are chosen.” The question becomes whether we’ll RSVP for the work God has called us to do.
In the News
Saturday’s surprise attack of Israel by the Palestinian militant group Hamas added to the seriousness of the continuing leadership vacuum in the House of Representatives. Removing Rep. Kevin McCarthy as speaker rendered Congress powerless in handling any business except those actions related to the election of a speaker. According to House rules, Rep. Patrick McHenry, as interim speaker, can only convene Congress to elect a new speaker. One scholar summed up McHenry’s limitations this way: “There is even a question as to whether McHenry could call for a moment of silence on the House floor — that is how limited his powers are believed to be.”
It's an indication that accepting invitations – whether to parties or positions of leadership – carries enormous responsibility. Jesus’ story invites consideration of what it means to called to discern the activity and wisdom of God, a reminder of the invitation expressed by Proverbs 9:5-6, “Come, eat of my bread, and drink of the wine I have mixed. Lay aside immaturity, and live, and walk in the way of insight.”
Invitations to celebrations were likely on the minds of Israelis as they awaited Saturday’s normally joyful celebration of Simchat Torah (“the joy of the Torah,”). But Hamas’ early morning attack supplanted that anticipation, replacing it with laments of grief and sounds of missiles. Simchat Torah is the conclusion of Sukkot, a fall harvest festival, and is traditionally celebrated by dancing and marching the Torah around synagogues.
Instead, Saturday became a day some have been called “Israel’s 9/11.” The surprise attack began shortly after dawn. Hamas began firing thousands of rockets in central and southern Israel. The missiles eventually landed in Tel Aviv and Jerusalem. A recorded message from one of Hamas’ military leaders made it clear that the military operation had been initiated so that “the enemy will understand that the time of their rampaging without accountability has ended.” By Sunday, death tolls had risen to more than 700 persons dead. In addition, at least 150 Israelis have been taken hostage, and other nations are trying to determine if their citizens are being held as well.
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu called Saturday a “dark day” for Israel. Among Hamas’ targets was a trance music festival that was filled with young adults celebrating and dancing all night long. Many attending the festival shrugged off the initial sounds of explosions. But then the music stopped and an emergency alert was broadcast. Within a few minutes, Hamas gun fighters began shooting into the crowd. “We started running; we didn’t know where to go,” said one attendee. “Nobody knew what to do.”
Gunmen blocked roads, and ambushed escaping cars, while also looking for potential kidnapping targets. By Sunday, Israeli soldiers returned to the place where the rave was held to load bodies into refrigeration trucks and clear away debris.
The party was over.
From the perspectives of Palestinians, however, the party had ended long ago. Once considered to be an obscure militant group, Hamas has emerged as a powerful player in the protracted conflicts between Palestine and Israel. (The link referenced is a helpful background article by NBC News producer and international reporter Yasmine Salam.)
The multilayered conflict between Israel and Palestine resists easy description or understanding. The residents of Gaza, which is controlled by Hamas, have been broken and impoverished by Israel’s blockade of the territory. Meanwhile, Hamas is unpopular with other Palestinian groups, and its actions considered divisive by those working to create sustainable peace.
The terror incited by Hamas this weekend is certainly inexcusable, but the broader context of the circumstances leading up to Saturday cannot be ignored. It is a complex, intractable problem that has eluded even the most conscientious. The years-long blockade of Gaza by Israel has led to rampant poverty, recurring violence, and desperate conditions. “Conditions in the Gaza Strip are unsettling and unbearable,” notes the United Nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestinian refugees in the near east.
Saturday’s Simchat Torah celebrations were over before they got started. Hamas’ vicious attacks, fueled by long-standing oppression and conflict, have ignited what will certainly be a long and brutal war. Even the vineyard owner would be taken aback by the violence that shall continue for some time.
The lesson hidden in Jesus’ rather complicated, sometimes even infuriating, allegory is the impact of rejecting God’s urgent invitation. The excuses involved at rejecting God’s invitation range from political shenanigans to determined avoidance of reconciliation and justice. The party, however, will not wait, which should give us cause to reflect on what Jesus means when he tells the crowd, “many are called, but few are chosen.”
In the Scripture
Jesus’ arrival in Jerusalem sets the stage for this week’s pericope, which is the third of three parables of the kingdom. So far these parables have proven to be deceptively innocent at first blush, employing characters such as banquets and vineyards, fathers and sons, landlords and tenants. Each one’s decidedly allegorical bent may lend to an all-too quick identification of the miscreants with Jesus’ opponents. Themes of judgment, hypocrisy, and neglect of God’s call are easily detected.
Sally Brown’s homiletical observations in Feasting on the Gospels: Matthew, Vol. 2, are worth considering. Brown reminds us that far from inculcating anti-Jewish feelings, Matthew is “interested in an intramural debate” between Jesus and the interpreters of Jewish tradition. “Matthew does not pit an entity called the ‘Christian church’ against the Jewish faith as a whole. This rules out from the start identifying the first-invited with Jews, the second-invited with Gentiles.” (Feasting on the Gospels: Matthew, Vol. 2, p. 185). Such wisdom is worthy of full consideration, especially in times when hate crimes and acts of antisemitism are on the rise.
The allegory does suggest that Jesus is concerned with the hypocrisy and poor behavior of the religious leaders. This is consistent with the message of the earlier parables, and a reminder of the higher righteousness Jesus proclaimed in the Sermon on the Mount.
In this week’s parable, the king’s actions are troubling. He responds to the escalating reasons for rejecting the invitation by murdering those he had invited and destroying their cities. His next move is a reminder of the inclusive nature of the kingdom. This time the servants are called to go into the streets, inviting “everyone you find.” The result is a decidedly mixed bag of both “good and bad” persons who fill the wedding hall.
So far, so good. But as the king goes from table to table, he finds a lone guest who apparently has never seen an episode of What Not to Wear. Once again, the tale takes a difficult turn. Instead of ending on the moral high note, the king is outraged by the guest’s attire. Commentators note the jarring nature of verses 11-13, which may leave our congregations as speechless as the man who forgot to grab his tux.
Interpreting this parable involves reckoning with Jesus’ presence in Jerusalem. The shadow of the cross, and all it demands, looms over the text. It holds implications for a church that has grown weary of the cost of discipleship, exchanging it for messages about manifesting prosperity or embodying Christian nationalism. It is a prophetic word which calls the church to consider what it means to be called. The invitation we have received is not just to dance the night away, but to respond with whole-hearted discipleship. Such discipleship, informed by Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, includes obedience, justice, humility, and extension of God’s welcome to outcasts and sinners.
In the Sermon
Matthew’s parable is an interpretative challenge and includes difficult to understand images. But engaging it as a parable of the kingdom provides insights into the importance of opening ourselves to the inclusive abundance of the invitation of God’s calling.
Most of us have faced the frustrating situation of sending out invitations that get ignored. Etiquette and protocol experts are unsure why so many people fail to say yay or nay to invitations. Perhaps we’re conflict avoidant, preferring to put off a decision. Or perhaps we are overwhelmed by out-of-control schedules and panicked by a lack of down time. Perhaps we are a nation of homebodies disinterested in getting dressed up and going out. Anyone who has ever hosted a wedding knows that far too many guests delay making a decision until it is almost too late.
I have often joked with our congregation about their reluctance to sign up for events. “I wonder,” I once said with a grin, “what would happen if I announced that Jesus would be returning next Sunday. I suspect several of you would first check to see if you have a soccer game or a softball tournament to attend.”
Jesus’ parable makes a similar point. The Spirit of God was at work inviting people to come to the abundant banquet God had prepared. A great feast is planned, and all will be invited to join in the sumptuous banquet. Such an invitation demands our attention and faithful response. A sermon could explore the message of God’s calling to our distracted churches. Coming to the party means participating in God’s acts of justice and righteousness.
In some ways, the behavior of the king’s guests is like politicians in Washington who set personal agendas ahead of serving the country by refusing to work creatively for the good of the country. It is also like those who ignore the opportunities to work graciously and collaboratively for peace, including leaders of both Palestine and Israel. Jesus describes the guest as selfish and angry, neglectful of their responsibility to honor the invitation they have been handed. in the parable. Having been told the feast is ready, the guests balk. They turn from their responsibility. Even some of those who end up attending the party have forgotten that the king expects them to be dressed appropriately.
The sermon could follow this route and make a political point would be the reminder that leaders who have been elected are called to faithfully serve. They too are called a rich feast—but that feast is not a self-serving bacchanal or seedily-indulgent party. It is a party where God’s abundance and God’s justice are to be celebrated, and a party where the rich diversity of God’s people are present. Ignoring the implications of the invitation carries considerable consequences.
As hard as it is to address, the impact of the Israeli/Hamas war cannot be ignored. This is a sensitive issue, and preachers may not feel quite up to the task of teasing out the layers. While Hamas’ actions are deplorable, the situation in Palestine cannot be ignored. A preacher would do well to wrestle with what it means to accept God’s invitation in a world of division, warfare, and deep seated resentment.
For Matthew, the party was over before it even got started—a lesson, of course, that is hidden in Jesus’ rather complicated allegory in Matthew. There are some curious, if tentative, places where the story of the wedding feast in Matthew 22 can connect with the egregious behaviors of politicians and militants who refuse to do the work they’ve been asked to do. They got their invitation and have been told barbecue is just about done. But in so many ways, they refuse to accept the invitation.
It's too bad, of course, because the party will be memorable. There’s plenty to consider, of course, but it seems that if you want to work creatively and collaboratively for peace and justice, the best place to begin is by accepting the invitation God offers.
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SECOND THOUGHTS
Non-reactive Leadership
by Katy Stenta
Exodus 32:1-14
As I sit and type this, my youngest kitten is curled on my chest. She feels my anxiety from the day. I must confess that between reading up on Columbus and the attack of Israel by the extremist group of Hamas and the retaliation threat to Palestine by the government, my blood pressure has been raised all day. It makes me think about how Moses must have felt climbing the mountain, leaving his people alone, trusting them not to panic when he was gone.
I recently left my ministry position, and my small congregation is sad, and angry. The members are panicking, making decisions I would not recommend, and I am doomed to sit back and watch, biting my tongue. I keep hoping other competent leaders will step up and step in while the usual suspects of Golden calves arise — the building, money, finding every mistake I have ever made. The hurt of abandonment is real, both in my church, and I imagine, for the Hebrew people. They would rather worship a golden calf then feel alone.
It makes me think about war, how fast we would rather react in war and anger, than mourn, or sit with our pain, and provide a non-anxious presence. What a gifted leader it is to be able to just sit in the pain. Desmond Tutu is one such leader renowned for being able to do so. Moses might be another. It is a rare gift to be able sit with someone when they are scared or in pain and know that sometimes you can do nothing to fix it.
Sometimes there is no fixing of the pain. I am not convinced there is a solution to the mess of the Israel-Palestinian conflict, other than people have to stop hurting one another. It makes me think of when I visited the tomb of Jesus Christ, a most holy site. It is guarded and jealously divided by seven different sects of Christianity. It hurt my heart to see that we are in such fierce competition for holiness. Is holiness a finite resource, like the water and land that all the people — the Bedouins, Christians, Jews, Christians and more, fight over in the small scrap of land of Israel and Palestine?
I don’t know the answer, other than to sit with those who hurt, because war, panic, and golden calves are clearly all not the right answer.
ILLUSTRATIONS
From team member Mary Austin:
Matthew 22:1-14
Wedding Banquet With Strangers
The parable Jesus tells found a match in one Jewish wedding banquet. As the groom’s brother, Eli Reiter, tells it, “I’ve never been happier to be kicked out of my seat — and it happened at my brother’s wedding. I’m an Orthodox Jew, and…we throw seven wedding parties, the biggest affair the first night and then one a night for six more nights. Usually, family and friends host the last six by renting out a restaurant or even hosting a mini-banquet in their homes.” This family wanted something with more meaning, so they decided to host the wedding banquet at a Masbia kosher soup kitchen, it was such an obvious idea that I wish I had thought of it myself. Masbia has a few New York City locations, each designed as a restaurant, to help give its client base dignity. Rather than burn money at an expensive eatery, we could hold the party in a Masbia dining room, bring the regulars in on the fun, offer our guests something different and give a donation that would more than cover the costs.”
On the night of the party, “the place seemed nice but a bit empty…slowly, more of the regulars started to trickle in, some wearing their Shabbat best on a Tuesday, to be a part of the festive atmosphere. An older woman brought a bouquet of roses, which we proudly displayed on the dais in front of the couple. Some took pictures with their old BlackBerry phones, like proud grandparents. During the party, I got up to greet a cousin. Then, I turned around to see my seat taken by a stranger. The regulars were starting to sit side by side with us. I was more than happy to grab a seat at a nearby unclothed table, especially because some of our guests were joining the clients in the other part of the eatery. Throughout the evening, the happy couple were approached by dozens of strangers who wished them congratulations.”
The wedding banquet — with people from the street — had all the joy the family could have wanted, and more.
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Philippians 4:1-9
Learning Joy
“Rejoice in the Lord always,” Paul urges, and most of us need to learn to cultivate joy. Rachel Macy Stafford says she was always focused on her to-do list, until her daughters taught her how to be spontaneous. One day, they were cleaning out the garage when the rain started. Becoming a student of joy, Rachel Macy Stafford knew what to do. She says, "I abruptly tossed the broom to the floor and ran to where the girls were crushing empty soda cans with enthusiasm. In a voice so urgent it actually startled them, I hollered, “Let’s go see if there’s a rainbow!” I darted out to our driveway, which was already dotted with tiny raindrops. The girls quickly followed with delighted yet reserved smiles. Natalie looked like she was waiting for me to spoil the fun by adding, “But only for a minute. We don’t want to get our clothes wet; plus we have lots of work to do!” But when I extended my arms and began swirling in circles, my daughter relaxed and did the same with a look of pure joy on her face. For several moments, my children and I just stood there savoring the soft, slow rain as it tickled our bare arms.”
“Without warning, the silence of our enchanted moment was broken by urgent young voices from off in the distance. “Rainbow! Rainbow!” shouted two neighbor boys as they pointed excitedly to the west. In our rain-induced reverie, my children and I had forgotten our initial intention. When we turned to look, our eyes filled with the most glorious sight. Not one, but two full-fledged rainbows! Miraculously, we could see their arches from end to end. My daughters looked at me and then at each other with the most amazed expressions. “Thank you! Thank you!” I cried out with joy. The boys across the street probably thought I was thanking them, but my gratitude for that glorious moment was meant for God alone.” (from Hands Free Mama)
Paul is right — we can all learn to rejoice, in all things.
* * *
Philippians 4:1-9
Rejoice Everywhere
“Rejoice always,” Paul urges the faithful, or “Rejoice in all things.”
Aritst Jan Vormann wants to make people rejoice as they move around big cities, including New York. He uses small Lego pieces to fill in gaps and cracks in buildings, hoping to surprise and delight people. His artful repairs have “used tens of thousands of LEGO bricks to patch crumbling holes in architectural structures around the world. His colorful bricks imitate the brick or cobblestone-constructed buildings he often “repairs,” however at a miniature scale. Some pieces have just a few dozen LEGOs incorporated into an installation, while others cover zig-zagging expanses that reach across entire walls.” We can find joy everywhere!
* * *
Philippians 4:1-9
Rejoice In Spite of Your Life
Paul’s instruction to rejoice in all things is hard to live out in real life. Molly Phinney Baskette writes about finding God’s joy even in illness, and through chemo and feeling awful. She observes, “God’s voice is both kinder and sterner than I imagined. Then and now. It often tells me things I don’t want to hear. He urges me onto a hard path that leads to far greater joy in living. My version of God may sound more like a stalker than a Hallmark card, but how often does a Hallmark card fix your life? Of course, God is as likely to ruin your life as fix it — though She will usually ruin it for the better. God is not a trained dog who will come at our calling. But there are circumstances in which we are much more likely to hear from God, usually involving loneliness and terror.” (from How to Begin When Your World Is Ending: A Spiritual Field Guide to Joy Despite Everything)
Rejoice in all things, and find God there.
* * *
Philippians 4:1-9
Conflict Island
Paul winds up this tender letter to the believers in Philippi by urging two divided church members “to be of one mind.” Conflict expert Amada Ripley suggests a hack for similar situations in our world.
She says that in Scotland there is an island in the middle of Loch Leven called “Eilean a’ Chombraidh” or “The Isle of Discussion.” “Legend has it that the clan chiefs who would disagree (and potentially drag their clans into a useless and costly conflict) were rowed out to this tiny little island by members of their own clans. Cheese, oatcakes, and wine would be left. The clansmen would then row ashore, and sit on the banks together. Their job was to ensure that the chiefs could not escape the island by swimming away. The only way the chiefs could leave is if they came to an agreement. At first, neither would give way. They would eat the cheese and oatcake, drink the wine, curse, and argue. But as the night came, and the cheese and wine ran out, and the cold wind blew into the loch from the North Sea, the men, desperate to leave, would begin to negotiate. Once an agreement had been reached, the men would row their chiefs to another little island where agreements were ensconced in writing and sealed.”
Perhaps this would work for Euodia and Syntyche, or for us, or even for Congress.
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From team member Tom Willadsen:
Exodus 32:1-14
God changed God’s mind
The NRSV says that God “changed his mind” in Exodus 32:14. The Jewish Publishing Society renders that concept “renounced the punishment He had planned.” Other translations say God “repented,” and “relented from the disaster.”
The Message says “And God did think twice.” Moses was persuasive, and God is alive. This time, Moses was relieved that God changed God’s mind. Compare him to Jonah, who was irritated when the Lord decided not to destroy Nineveh. God’s mercy infuriated Jonah.
* * *
Psalm 106:1-6, 19-23
Moses in the breach (on the beach)
The last verse in today’s psalm reading has Moses “in the breach” between God and the people. A breach can be a violation, e.g. a breach of trust or of a contract, but it is also a gap. One could say that Moses put himself into a breach in both senses of the English term. Clearly, the Lord’s trust was violated when Aaron forged the golden calf, but Moses also stood between the people and their enraged Lord when Moses implored the Lord to spare the Israelites, because what would the Egyptians think of you — and You promised, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
Psalm 106 combines God’s deliverance at the Sea of Reeds from Exodus 14, with God repenting from God’s anger in Exodus 34. So, Moses is in the breach, on the beach.
* * *
Matthew 22:1-14
It’s not fair (but it’s not a party!)
Today’s parable from Matthew’s gospel is intended to offend. It’s the third of three parables Jesus told against chief priests and elders, starting back in Matthew 21:23. Remember, he’s just arrived in Jerusalem and cleansed the Temple. He’s on a roll.
* * *
Philippians 4:1-9
Suppose the Philippians wrote back!
Former major league baseball player and humorist, Joe Garagiola, used to muse, “It seems every Sunday in church we hear ‘Paul’s Letter to the Corinthians.’ I gotta wonder, did the Corinthians ever write back?”
Well, it appears that the Philippians did. Paul learns of a squabble between two women in the congregation — Euodia and Syntyche. We don’t know the nature of the dispute, but we can have a lot of fun speculating. These women appear only here in the Bible. Clement is also mentioned only here in scripture. He does not appear to be part of the disagreement between Euodia and Syntyche.
* * *
Philippians 4:3
“yoke fellow”
The New Revised Standard Version renders the Greek γνήσιε γνήσιε as “loyal companion.” This individual is unnamed, presumably not Clement, but another trusted leader who could help Euodia and Syntyche reach peace. A literal rendering would be “yoke fellow.” Other translations have “loyal friend,” “true partner,” and “faithful partner,” but yoke fellow gives a much grittier, humbler picture of one of Paul’s most trusted companions, and the task of Christians living together in peace.
* * *
Psalm 106:1-6
Thank and switch
The first three verses of today’s reading are classic thanksgiving language. At verse 4 the psalm makes a dramatic turn. The psalmist speaks in the first person singular and asks for mercy and prosperity. At the sixth verse, the psalmist confesses his sin and the sin of his ancestors. The final portion of today’s reading recalls the three violations of the commandments recounted in today’s reading from Exodus:
They made an image of God; they worshipped it; and they forgot what the Lord their God had done in busting them out of the House of Slavery.
* * *
Philippians 4:7
Guarded hearts
Paul’s use of φρουρήσει (will guard) may be a subtle reference to his being in prison. The word is also used to describe garrisoned cities, well-protected banks and mother wolves defending pups. It’s a much stronger term than the English “keep.”
* * * * * *
From team member Dean Feldmeyer:
Exodus 32:1-14
When Moses fails to show up, the people become anxious and start acting out in inappropriate ways, the chief of which is idolatry.
Panic Attack vs. Anxiety Attack
“Dean, as I was afraid might be the case, the places on your thighs are malignant. They’re a form of lymphoma called Mycosis Fungoides and we’ll need to talk about a treatment. Can you come in tomorrow morning?”
If my doctor would have asked me to be in within the hour, I would have, of course, dropped everything. As it was, waiting 18 hours was worse. But I managed to keep it under control. I waited, slept a little, had my breakfast, and then my wife, Jean, and I made our way to the doctor’s office.
We talked calmly for about 20 minutes. He explained about MF (as he called it) and we asked some questions. Turned out the treatment was, oddly enough, fairly simple. A super expensive ointment that had to be applied every day for what would turn out to be a year and a half.
Then we got in the car to drive home and a couple of miles down the road, I couldn’t breathe. I gasped. I heaved. I panicked. I hyperventilated. Jean pulled the car into a parking lot and waited patiently for me to get it together. I think it was the words “lymphoma,” and “cancer” that finally hit me. Like a sledge hammer to the chest.
I thought it was a panic attack. Jean explained that it was, more likely, an anxiety attack. Turns out there’s a difference.
Panic attack and anxiety attack are not the same terms. Panic attack is a defined medical condition with specific criteria and symptoms, while anxiety attack is a colloquial term that varies in meaning and intensity. Panic attacks can happen suddenly and without a trigger, while anxiety attacks are usually a response to a stressor or threat. Panic attacks are typically brief and intense, while anxiety attacks can last longer and range from mild to severe.
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What Is Anxiety?
Here are some of the things that the Mayo Clinic website has to say about anxiety and specifically, anxiety disorder:
Experiencing occasional anxiety is a normal part of life. However, people with anxiety disorders frequently have intense, excessive and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Often, anxiety disorders involve repeated episodes of sudden feelings of intense anxiety and fear or terror that reach a peak within minutes (panic attacks).
Anxiety disorder occurs when a person’s anxiety interferes with daily activities, is difficult to control, is out of proportion to the actual danger and can last a long time.
Examples of anxiety disorders include generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder (social phobia), specific phobias and separation anxiety disorder. You can have more than one anxiety disorder. Sometimes anxiety results from a medical condition that needs treatment.
Common anxiety signs and symptoms include:
Feeling nervous, restless or tense
Having a sense of impending danger, panic or doom
Having an increased heart rate
Breathing rapidly (hyperventilation)
Sweating
Trembling
Feeling weak or tired
Trouble concentrating or thinking about anything other than the present worry
Having trouble sleeping
Experiencing gastrointestinal (GI) problems
Having difficulty controlling worry
Having the urge to avoid things that trigger anxiety
Several types of anxiety disorders exist — they include: Agoraphobia; Generalized anxiety disorder; Panic disorder; Selective mutism; Separation anxiety disorder; Social anxiety disorder (social phobia); Substance-induced anxiety disorder; and “unspecified anxiety disorder.”
Symptoms of an anxiety disorder may include:
You feel like you're worrying too much and it's interfering with your work, relationships or other parts of your life.
Your fear, worry or anxiety is upsetting to you and difficult to control.
You feel depressed, have trouble with alcohol or drug use, or have other mental health concerns along with anxiety.
You think your anxiety could be linked to a physical health problem.
You have suicidal thoughts or behaviors — if this is the case, seek emergency treatment immediately.
Your worries may not go away on their own, and they may get worse over time if you don't seek help. See your doctor or a mental health provider before your anxiety gets worse. It's easier to treat if you get help early.
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The Non-Anxious Presence
In his groundbreaking book, Generation to Generation, psychologist/rabbi Edwin Friedman says that the true leader is the person with the ability to be the non-anxious presence in an anxious system. The corollary to this axiom is that all systems are, inherently, anxious.
From the United States Congress to the little league baseball team, from the multi-national corporation to the church on the corner, from the board of directors to the PTA, all systems are inherently and chronically anxious. Anxious about being judged or criticized by others inside and/or outside the system, about failing to meet their goals, about making the wrong decisions, about making any decisions at all. They are anxious about the past and anxious about the future.
The best leaders are those who can be in the midst of an anxious system without becoming anxious, themselves.
* * *
Philippians 4:1-9
Paul addresses a situation in the Philippian church where an interpersonal dispute between two women is endangering the mission of the entire church.
Surrendering Power
Another observation that Friedman often makes is that churches (as well as other systems) often tend to turn over control of the system to the loudest, meanest, most emotionally immature, and dysfunctional person in the system, not because it’s the smart or helpful thing to do but because it’s the “Christian thing to do.”
We don’t want a scene. We don’t want people to get angry or fight. We don’t want a disruption in the nice, pleasant, polite progress of the meeting, worship service, classroom, ball game, or whatever. So, when that negative person threatens to disrupt the event, we let them have their way in order to keep everything nice.
He points out that, more often, the Christian thing to do is to stand up to bullies, call out hypocrites, confront liars, and hold fast in the face of challenges.
* * *
Conflict Managed
Years ago, a large statue of Christ was erected high in the Andes on the border between Argentina and Chile. Called "Christ of the Andes," the statue symbolizes a pledge between the two countries that as long as the statue stands, there will be peace between Chile and Argentina. Shortly after the statue was erected, the Chileans began to protest that they had been slighted — the statue had its back turned to Chile. Just when tempers were at their highest in Chile, a Chilean newspaperman saved the day. In an editorial that not only satisfied the people but made them laugh, he simply said, "The people of Argentina need more watching over than the Chileans."
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How To Turn A Disagreement Into A Feud
In his book, Tell it to the Church, Ron Kraybill, offers that there are eight ways to turn a simple disagreement into a roiling feud.
1. Be sure to develop and maintain a healthy fear of conflict, letting your own feelings build up so you are in an explosive frame of mind.
2. If you must state your concerns, be as vague and general as possible. Then the other person cannot do anything practical to change the situation.
3. Assume you know all the facts and you are totally right. The use of a clinching Bible verse is helpful. Speak prophetically for truth and justice; do most of the talking.
4. With a touch of defiance, announce your willingness to talk with anyone who wishes to discuss the problem with you. But do not take steps to initiate such conversation.
5. Latch tenaciously onto whatever evidence you can find that shows the other person is merely jealous of you.
6. Judge the motivation of the other party on any previous experience that showed failure or unkindness. Keep track of any angry words.
7. If the discussion should, alas, become serious, view the issue as a win/lose struggle. Avoid possible solutions and go for total victory and unconditional surrender. Don't let too many options on the table.
8. Pass the buck! If you are about to get cornered into a solution, indicate you are without power to settle; you need your partner, spouse, bank, whatever.
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Disagreements vs. Conflicts
Catherine Aponte Psy.D writes in Psychology Today that for relationships to survive and be healthy, people need to understand the difference between disagreements and conflicts. She offers this advice.
Differences and disagreements are about what you and your partner want to happen. You can disagree about when to go to the movies, how to discipline your children, or where to get the car serviced. When you disagree with your spouse, it is about something not about each other.
The defining thing about a disagreement is that you and your partner are talking to each other. And because you are talking to each other, you can negotiate a resolution to the disagreement. You can look for a win-win outcome. Most importantly, after the disagreement, you are both still talking to each other.
In contrast, when you and your spouse are in conflict, you are making assumptions about each other and the feelings you have toward each other are negative and strong. In a conflict, you are not talking; rather, you are yelling, avoiding, accusing, talking over each other, etc. These actions fuel the relationship conflict. There is no negotiation in conflict — no resolution — and no benefit to the relationship.
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Big Feuds
The following are, according to the World Atlas, some of the biggest, longest, and most impactful feuds of all time:
The Medici Family and The Pazzi Family — The Medici family was well known as the most powerful family in the city of Florence, Italy, and their power threatened the Pazzis. On April 26th, 1478, a couple of members of the Pazzi family decided to organize an assassination attempt on some Medici members. They did so during a mass at the Florence Cathedral. They managed to kill Giuliano de Medici, and as retaliation, the Medici family executed the assassins and exiled the rest of the Pazzi family.
Adolf Dassler versus Rudolf Dassler — Both of these men were shoemakers from the German city of Herzogenaurach. They were also brothers, which makes their feud all the more bizarre. No one knows exactly what happened, but even though they achieved success when Jesse Owens wore their shoes at the 1936 Olympics, the brothers decided to part ways. And they did so on bad terms. They split their company and became enemies. However, both achieved success, one with the company Adidas, and the other with his company Puma.
Alexander Hamilton versus Aaron Burr — These two politicians in the 18th century were good friends until Burr managed to beat Hamilton’s father-in-law for a seat in the New York Senate. This turned their friendship into a widely-known feud that resulted in an actual duel. With guns! It ended tragically, Hamilton shot his gun in the air because he never wanted to duel, and Burr shot him in the stomach. Hamilton died the next day.
The Feud of Biddulph, Ontario — This feud involved an entire city going against a family called the Donnellys. The father of the family was imprisoned for murder in 1857, but his two sons opened up a successful business in the town of Biddulph. However, the people living there did not like this, so they constantly tried shutting them down. The tensions exploded eventually, and the feud culminated in people breaking into Donnelly’s house and killing five members of the family.
The Ako Vendetta — During the 17th century, Kira Yoshinaka, a Japanese military official, continuously disrespected Asano Naganori, a feudal lord. Naganori eventually got fed up and attacked Yoshinaka in self-defense, but he was arrested and forced to commit ritual suicide known as seppuku. After they learned of his death, his loyal samurai warriors decided to avenge him. There were 47 of them, and they attacked Yoshinaka’s home and killed him. They were eventually arrested and forced to commit seppuku as well.
Thomas Edison And Nikola Tesla — The rivalry between these two inventors can be easily described as the battle between the electrical currents they discovered — AC versus DC. Nikola Tesla actually worked for Edison for a short while and tried warning him how limited direct current is when compared to alternating current. Edison did not like Tesla’s ideas, so Tesla quit and sold his patents to a different company. Throughout the years, Edison continued to belittle Tesla’s work out of jealousy; however, they were both posthumously recognized for their important work.
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Matthew 22:1-14
Parable: The Kingdom of God is like a king who throws a wedding feast and the invited guests not only refuse to come but mistreat the messengers who come to tell them that the feast is starting. So, the king invites people from the streets instead.
The Fomo Phenomenon
Experts tell us that, when you send out invitations, depending on what kind of event you are inviting people to, you can expect somewhere between 25-50% to ignore your request to RSVP. Why is that? Well, it depends on lots of things: the event, the people, their maturity level, their level of cultural awareness. Here are the most common excuses people give for not RSVP’ing.
Interestingly, (and coincidentally?) the Fomorians or Fomori are a supernatural race in Irish mythology, who are often portrayed as hostile and monstrous beings.
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Disasterous Wedding = Disasterous Marriage?
Maybe, but maybe not.
Prince Albert and Charlene Wittsock are a more modern couple whose wedding was doused in disaster. Prince Albert is Grace Kelly’s son, while Charlene is a stunning South African swimmer.
Good looks and handy connections don’t necessarily make for a smooth wedding, however.
Just a few days before the two were set to be wed, Charlene made an attempt to flee to Monaco. Her reasoning was that it had come out that Prince Albert had just become a father to a third illegitimate child. Although she didn’t go through with her plan, she tried again later with a one-way ticket to France, but she was intercepted at the airport.
Eventually, the couple did get married in 2011. Despite the fact that the princess went through with the wedding, they spent their honeymoon in separate hotels. Still, they’ve managed to weather the storm and are still together today.
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From team member Elena Delhagen:
Exodus 32:1-14
A Tale of Three Calves
A large portion of biblical scholars date this text from Exodus to approximately the late eighth century — early seventh century B.C.E. In that time, the northern kingdom of Israel had broken away, and King Jeroboam famously set up his golden idols (which were calves!) in Bethel and Dan so that the people would no longer have to go all the way to Jerusalem to worship the Lord. Jeroboam’s sin was punished by YHWH, as we know, becoming the reason for the northern kingdom’s harsh judgment in 723-722 B.C.E. when the ruling city of Samaria was captured by Neo-Assyria.
If the timing is accurate, it would appear the author of Exodus (which traditionally has been named as Moses, though recent scholarship suggests the writing took place long after Moses’ time) was drawing a deliberate connection between Aaron and the Israelites at Horeb and Jeroboam and the Israelites in the northern kingdom. Why? To showcase the futility of humanity’s attempts to worship gods of our own making.
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Exodus 32:1-14
These Are Your Gods. (Or Are They?)
Aaron gets a bad rap for being the one who formed the golden calf, declaring “These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt!” However, more than one interpreter has suggested that Aaron’s words to the Israelites may be more tongue-in-cheek than they appear. In ancient Mesopotamia, when a statue of a deity was made, a ritual called “mis-pi” would take place, which essentially means “washing of the mouth.” The idea is that this mouth-washing ritual was necessary in order to turn the finite statue into a living, intangible god. The ritual took place over several days and aimed to wash away all remaining traces of its human manufacturer from the statue so that the deity could become wholly divine.
Since the text gives no indication that the mis-pi ritual actually took place at the base of the mountain, according to cultural belief of the day, the calf was not really a god at all; it was simply a golden cow. And Aaron knew this. That is why it’s been suggested that his words — “These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt!” — are mocking the belief that mere human hands could make gods. For truly, there is only one God, who brought Israel up out of the land of Egypt — no mouth-washing ritual necessary.
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Psalm 106:1-6, 19-23
Scandalous Forgiveness
Psalm 106 recounts in great detail the litany of sins that Israel has committed against YHWH. The song appears to read as historical narrative and lament, meant to recall God’s faithfulness to God’s people by showing God’s investment in their lives and response to their prayers, their confessions, their cries, their praises, and their worship. It’s a story of unmerited forgiveness — mercy that defies comprehension.
The Forgiveness Project, founded in 2004 by a journalist named Marina Cantacuzino, provides stories and resources to help people examine and overcome their own unresolved grievances. At the project’s heart is its understanding that restorative narratives have the power to elicit transformation. YHWH had every reason to turn away from the people, justified by their rebellion and betrayals. But that’s what makes forgiveness and mercy so powerful; it defies what’s expected. It’s upside-down to our typical “eye for an eye” type of thinking.
The Forgiveness Project’s stories section is full of testimonials of people who had every reason to hold grudges, walk away, even seek revenge. Yet somehow, they forgave. Just as this psalm leads us to praise God for his forgiveness, may we also be spurred to examine how we can offer forgiveness in our own lives as well.
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Matthew 22:1-14
Who’s In and Who’s Out?
“It’s a Wonderful Life” is perhaps one of the most famous films of all time. It begins with a love story — that of Mary and George Bailey. They are sacrificial, loving, kind, and caring, giving selflessly to everyone that comes across their path, particularly those who are what we might call “the least of these.” Mr. Potter, the movie’s villain and self-proclaimed King of Bedford Falls, simply cannot understand why Mary and George live this way. It’s almost…offensive to him.
Well, as with life, George has so much love and joy in his days, but he also has his fair share of trials. By the end of the movie, it’s Christmas Eve, and George is in the middle of a crisis. His uncle has lost an $8,000 deposit that would have protected their savings and loan business from bankruptcy and fraud charges. The government is breathing down his neck, George could be arrested at any moment, and George, not knowing what else to do, asks his nemesis, Mr. Potter, for a loan.
And Mr. Potter responds…well, just as one would expect him to respond. He cruelly tells George to go ask all the people he’s helped to save him now, knowing full-well that all those whom George has helped are unable to repay him. Mr. Potter throws George out of his office, spitting at him that George would be worth more dead than alive at this point. Ready to take his life, George ends up at a bridge — and then God, sending an angel named Clarence, steps in.
Clarence opts to show George what life would have been life if he’d never been born at all, and it is a terrifying imagination. All those people George had helped in life were angry and destitute because, of course, they’d never had anyone willing to do something kind for them. His brother is dead, because George hadn’t been there when he was nine to save him when he fell beneath the ice. Mr. Potter reigns over the town (it’s now called Pottersville) and the beautiful family George has had doesn’t exist. There is no joy. No grace. And this jolts George back to reality, begging for God to take him back.
And so George Bailey returns home and oh, what a beautiful return it is. He grabs his wife and children and hugs them tightly, and then the door opens, and guests start to arrive. They’ve brought all the money they had, called in some favors, cancelled any Christmas plans they had, to show up for George. They shower him with all the love and joy he invested into others his whole life.
And this, I think, is what the wedding banquet in this week’s text from Matthew is meant to look like. I’ve heard so many interpretations of this parable over the years. The King could be God, or he could represent the Roman occupation and political rule of the time. Jesus could be the groom, or perhaps he’s the undressed wedding guest. One thing that all these interpretations have in common, though, is the roles we assign to ourselves when we read this text. We’re the ones that get to show up to the party. Even if we’re B-listers, at least we get an invitation! And at least we’re grateful for it! How convenient, isn’t it? And also — how grossly beyond the point.
Because the trap of this text is that we often start categorizing people to fit the character boxes we’ve placed them in. This person or this group is in. That one? Out. And our interpretation is usually always flawed. We have a tendency to mistake earthly kings for God and to mistake those who are our brothers and sisters as outsiders… even our enemies. But that is not the Kingdom of God. That’s not the gospel of Christ. God doesn’t ask us to choose who we deem worthy or not; God asks us to go out and call, to preach the good news, to do justice and love mercy and walk humbly, to taste and see that the Lord is good and to offer that bread of life to all those who hunger for it.
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WORSHIP
by George Reed
Call to Worship
One: Praise the Lord! O give thanks to God who is good.
All: Praise God whose steadfast love endures forever.
One: Who can tell all God’s deeds or declare all God’s praise?
All: Happy are we who observe justice and do righteousness.
One: Remember us, O God, show favor to your people.
All: Then we will rejoice in gladness when you deliver us.
OR
One: The Lord is our shepherd, we shall not want.
All: God makes us lie down in green pastures.
One: God leads us beside still waters and restores our soul.
All: God leads us in right paths that we might honor God’s name.
One: Surely goodness and mercy shall follow us always.
All: Let us dwell in the presence of our God our whole life long.
OR
One: Come to the banquet of love God has set before us.
All: We rejoice that God calls us to such a feast.
One: Come and enter fully into God’s realm of love.
All: We come to be filled with God’s love for all.
One: Share the love and grace that you receive.
All: We open our hearts and lives to all God’s children.
Hymns and Songs
Holy, Holy, Holy! Lord God Almighty
UMH: 64/65
H82: 362
PH: 138
GTG: 1
AAHH: 329
NNBH: 1
NCH: 277
CH: 4
LBW: 165
ELW: 413
W&P: 136
AMEC: 25
STLT 26
Renew: 204
O Worship the King
UMH: 73
H82: 388
PH: 476
GTG: 41
NNBH: 6
NCH: 26
CH: 17
LBW: 548
ELW: 842
W&P: 2
AMEC: 12
Immortal, Invisible, God Only Wise
UMH: 103
H82: 423
PH: 263
GTG: 12
NCH: 1
CH: 66
LBW: 526
ELW: 834
W&P: 48
AMEC: 71
STLT: 273
Renew: 46
Jesus Shall Reign
UMH: 157
H82: 544
PH: 423
GTG: 265
NNBH: 10
NCH: 300
CH: 95
LBW: 530
ELW: 434
W&P: 341
AMEC: 96
Renew: 296
Christ, Whose Glory Fills the Skies
UMH: 173
H82: 6/7
PH: 462/463
GTG: 662
LBW: 265
ELW: 553
W&P: 91
Come, Sinners, to the Gospel Feast
UMH: 339
AMEC: 234
Tú Has Venido a la Orilla (Lord, you Have Come to the Lakeshore
UMH: 344
PH: 377
CH: 342
W&P: 347
Dear Lord and Father of Mankind
UMH: 358
H82: 652/653
PH: 345
GTG: 169
NCH: 502
CH: 594
LBW: 506
W&P: 470
AMEC: 344
Amazing Grace
UMH: 378
H82: 671
PH: 280
GTG: 649
AAHH: 271/272
NNBH: 161/163
NCH: 547/548
CH: 546
LBW: 448
ELW: 779
W&P: 422
AMEC: 226
STLT 205/206
Renew: 189
Jesus Calls Us
UMH: 398
H82: 549/550
GTG: 720
NNBH: 183
NCH: 171/172
CH: 337
LBW: 494
ELW: 696
W&P: 345
AMEC: 238
O How He Loves You and Me!
CCB: 38
Renew: 27
The Steadfast Love of the Lord
CCB: 28
Renew: 23
Music Resources Key
UMH: United Methodist Hymnal
H82: The Hymnal 1982
PH: Presbyterian Hymnal
GTG: Glory to God, The Presbyterian Hymnal
AAHH: African American Heritage Hymnal
NNBH: The New National Baptist Hymnal
NCH: The New Century Hymnal
CH: Chalice Hymnal
LBW: Lutheran Book of Worship
ELW: Evangelical Lutheran Worship
W&P: Worship & Praise
AMEC: African Methodist Episcopal Church Hymnal
STLT: Singing the Living Tradition
CCB: Cokesbury Chorus Book
Renew: Renew! Songs & Hymns for Blended Worship
Prayer for the Day/Collect
O God who constantly invites us into your presence:
Open our hearts that we may not only respond to your invitation
but to come prepared to participate in your new realm of love;
through Jesus Christ our Savior. Amen.
OR
We praise you, O God, because you are the one who is always inviting us to come to your banquet of love. You open the doors to your new realm and invite us to dine with you. Help us to respond whole heartedly that we may enter and participate in the new things you are doing. Amen.
Prayer of Confession
One: Let us confess to God and before one another our sins and especially our reluctance to enter God’s banquet hall or to invite others in.
All: We confess to you, O God, and before one another that we have sinned. We have shunned your invitation choosing rather to enter into the realm of strife, greed, and conflict. We refuse your generous offer and we try to prevent others from entering declaring that they are not ‘worthy’. Forgive us our foolish ways and open our eyes to the wonder of your gracious invitation to dine on life and love. Amen.
One: God’s invitation is extended to all. Forsake the old ways and enter into God’s banquet hall inviting all to join us.
Prayers of the People
Praised and glorious are you, O Gracious Host, who opens your realm of love, light, and life to all creation. Blessed are you now and for ever.
(The following paragraph may be used if a separate prayer of confession has not been used.)
We confess to you, O God, and before one another that we have sinned. We have shunned your invitation choosing rather to enter into the realm of strife, greed, and conflict. We refuse your generous offer and we try to prevent others from entering declaring that they are not ‘worthy'. Forgive us our foolish ways and open our eyes to the wonder of your gracious invitation to dine on life and love.
We give you thanks for all the ways in which your gracious love is opened to us. You have given us a wonderful world to live in that provides for all our earthly needs. You have given us your own Spirit to dwell within us and among us to satisfy our hearts and souls. You have given us your own Son to guide us and lead us back to you. We thank you for those of your children who have heard your invitation and have shared it with us.
(Other thanksgivings may be offered.)
We pray for all your children and your creation. We are broken and in need of your healing. We pray for those who have been told they are not welcome in your banquet hall and so find it hard to believe in your gracious love and care for them. We pray for those who are striving to be open doors to your realm. We pray for ourselves that we may mirror the loving care for all that we find in the Christ.
(Other intercessions may be offered.)
Hear us as we pray for others: (Time for silent or spoken prayer.)
All these things we ask in the name of our Savior Jesus Christ who taught us to pray saying:
Our Father....Amen.
(Or if the Our Father is not used at this point in the service.)
All this we ask in the name of the Blessed and Holy Trinity. Amen.
* * * * * *
CHILDREN'S SERMON
Beware of False Idols
by Quantisha Mason-Doll
Psalm 106:19-23
Theme: It takes only one person.
Required Items
Aaron loses hope in Moses’ return and when he loses hope he loses faith in God’s steadfast promise to the people.
The idol or golden calf is an earthly being bound by earthly rule. Give the calf a speaking role. It could sound something like this:
“I’m the calf of Horeb. I am made by human hand, of earthly materials! Look how I shine in the noon light! There is not much I can do for you no matter how much you pray to me. But, I’m very pretty to look at!”
Moses puppet can ask the question of puppet Aaron: “Why lose faith now?”
It is okay if this question goes unanswered by puppet Aaron. Have the children try answer by telling about the times they felt lost or hopeless.
God almost rejects the chosen people because God’s trust was broken. This was painful for God. But Moses stands up for his brothers and sisters. They might have lost faith in God and him but he (Moses) did not lose faith in them.
Prayer
Leader: We thank you God for being our guiding light.
Children: Help us to share our light.
Leader: We thank you for showing us right from wrong.
Children: Guide us always when we need you most.
Leader: We thank you for showing us the way home.
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The Immediate Word, October 15, 2023 issue.
Copyright 2023 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to The Immediate Word service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons and in worship and classroom settings only. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., 5450 N. Dixie Highway, Lima, Ohio 45807.
- The Wild and Crazy Wedding Feast by Chris Keating based on Matthew 22:1-14.
- Second Thoughts: Non-reactive Leadership by Katy Stenta based on Exodus 32:1-14.
- Sermon illustrations by Mary Austin, Tom Willadsen, Elena Delhagen, Dean Feldmeyer.
- Worship resources by George Reed.
- Children's sermon: Beware of False Idols by Quantisha Mason-Doll based on Psalm 106:1-6, 19-23.
The Wild and Crazy Wedding Feastby Chris Keating
Matthew 22:1-14
NOTE: The introduction to this week’s article was written prior to Saturday’s attacks on Israel by Hamas. The “In the News” section has been changed to include references to this ongoing situation. All references are current as of October 9, 2023.
First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the costly hassles involved with planning a beautiful reception. Just ask the king in the parable of the wedding feast. This guy’s to-do list is filled with everything from booking bands and renting chair covers to ordering platters of antipasto and baked ziti. It’s no wonder that the king seems a bit testy when people refuse to show up.
Clearly, this is no ordinary wedding feast. Just when you’re expecting the upbeat Franck Eggelhoffer, the fictious wedding planner played by Martin Short in Father of the Bride, Linda Blair’s character from The Exorsist shows up instead.
Holy crudites! Just what is happening in this allegory of life in the kingdom?
Layered in these verses is a call to come into God’s eschatological feast. It’s a call that requires our full, wholehearted response. Yet, too often we exchange that responsibility for bad behavior. A good example is the way Congress, for many reasons, ousted Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy. Like guests beating up the king’s representatives, a minority of representatives plunged the entire House of Representatives into chaos. The feast is over, at least for now.
The tradeoff in firing McCarthy is that nothing gets done in the House until a new speaker is elected. So while representatives may bang their gavel loudly, they have sidelined themselves from the job they were elected to do.
It’s clear this is just a tip of the American political iceberg. Some conservatives believe there’s blame to be shared on both sides of aisle, which perhaps circles back to Matthew’s reminder that “many are called, but few are chosen.” The question becomes whether we’ll RSVP for the work God has called us to do.
In the News
Saturday’s surprise attack of Israel by the Palestinian militant group Hamas added to the seriousness of the continuing leadership vacuum in the House of Representatives. Removing Rep. Kevin McCarthy as speaker rendered Congress powerless in handling any business except those actions related to the election of a speaker. According to House rules, Rep. Patrick McHenry, as interim speaker, can only convene Congress to elect a new speaker. One scholar summed up McHenry’s limitations this way: “There is even a question as to whether McHenry could call for a moment of silence on the House floor — that is how limited his powers are believed to be.”
It's an indication that accepting invitations – whether to parties or positions of leadership – carries enormous responsibility. Jesus’ story invites consideration of what it means to called to discern the activity and wisdom of God, a reminder of the invitation expressed by Proverbs 9:5-6, “Come, eat of my bread, and drink of the wine I have mixed. Lay aside immaturity, and live, and walk in the way of insight.”
Invitations to celebrations were likely on the minds of Israelis as they awaited Saturday’s normally joyful celebration of Simchat Torah (“the joy of the Torah,”). But Hamas’ early morning attack supplanted that anticipation, replacing it with laments of grief and sounds of missiles. Simchat Torah is the conclusion of Sukkot, a fall harvest festival, and is traditionally celebrated by dancing and marching the Torah around synagogues.
Instead, Saturday became a day some have been called “Israel’s 9/11.” The surprise attack began shortly after dawn. Hamas began firing thousands of rockets in central and southern Israel. The missiles eventually landed in Tel Aviv and Jerusalem. A recorded message from one of Hamas’ military leaders made it clear that the military operation had been initiated so that “the enemy will understand that the time of their rampaging without accountability has ended.” By Sunday, death tolls had risen to more than 700 persons dead. In addition, at least 150 Israelis have been taken hostage, and other nations are trying to determine if their citizens are being held as well.
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu called Saturday a “dark day” for Israel. Among Hamas’ targets was a trance music festival that was filled with young adults celebrating and dancing all night long. Many attending the festival shrugged off the initial sounds of explosions. But then the music stopped and an emergency alert was broadcast. Within a few minutes, Hamas gun fighters began shooting into the crowd. “We started running; we didn’t know where to go,” said one attendee. “Nobody knew what to do.”
Gunmen blocked roads, and ambushed escaping cars, while also looking for potential kidnapping targets. By Sunday, Israeli soldiers returned to the place where the rave was held to load bodies into refrigeration trucks and clear away debris.
The party was over.
From the perspectives of Palestinians, however, the party had ended long ago. Once considered to be an obscure militant group, Hamas has emerged as a powerful player in the protracted conflicts between Palestine and Israel. (The link referenced is a helpful background article by NBC News producer and international reporter Yasmine Salam.)
The multilayered conflict between Israel and Palestine resists easy description or understanding. The residents of Gaza, which is controlled by Hamas, have been broken and impoverished by Israel’s blockade of the territory. Meanwhile, Hamas is unpopular with other Palestinian groups, and its actions considered divisive by those working to create sustainable peace.
The terror incited by Hamas this weekend is certainly inexcusable, but the broader context of the circumstances leading up to Saturday cannot be ignored. It is a complex, intractable problem that has eluded even the most conscientious. The years-long blockade of Gaza by Israel has led to rampant poverty, recurring violence, and desperate conditions. “Conditions in the Gaza Strip are unsettling and unbearable,” notes the United Nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestinian refugees in the near east.
Saturday’s Simchat Torah celebrations were over before they got started. Hamas’ vicious attacks, fueled by long-standing oppression and conflict, have ignited what will certainly be a long and brutal war. Even the vineyard owner would be taken aback by the violence that shall continue for some time.
The lesson hidden in Jesus’ rather complicated, sometimes even infuriating, allegory is the impact of rejecting God’s urgent invitation. The excuses involved at rejecting God’s invitation range from political shenanigans to determined avoidance of reconciliation and justice. The party, however, will not wait, which should give us cause to reflect on what Jesus means when he tells the crowd, “many are called, but few are chosen.”
In the Scripture
Jesus’ arrival in Jerusalem sets the stage for this week’s pericope, which is the third of three parables of the kingdom. So far these parables have proven to be deceptively innocent at first blush, employing characters such as banquets and vineyards, fathers and sons, landlords and tenants. Each one’s decidedly allegorical bent may lend to an all-too quick identification of the miscreants with Jesus’ opponents. Themes of judgment, hypocrisy, and neglect of God’s call are easily detected.
Sally Brown’s homiletical observations in Feasting on the Gospels: Matthew, Vol. 2, are worth considering. Brown reminds us that far from inculcating anti-Jewish feelings, Matthew is “interested in an intramural debate” between Jesus and the interpreters of Jewish tradition. “Matthew does not pit an entity called the ‘Christian church’ against the Jewish faith as a whole. This rules out from the start identifying the first-invited with Jews, the second-invited with Gentiles.” (Feasting on the Gospels: Matthew, Vol. 2, p. 185). Such wisdom is worthy of full consideration, especially in times when hate crimes and acts of antisemitism are on the rise.
The allegory does suggest that Jesus is concerned with the hypocrisy and poor behavior of the religious leaders. This is consistent with the message of the earlier parables, and a reminder of the higher righteousness Jesus proclaimed in the Sermon on the Mount.
In this week’s parable, the king’s actions are troubling. He responds to the escalating reasons for rejecting the invitation by murdering those he had invited and destroying their cities. His next move is a reminder of the inclusive nature of the kingdom. This time the servants are called to go into the streets, inviting “everyone you find.” The result is a decidedly mixed bag of both “good and bad” persons who fill the wedding hall.
So far, so good. But as the king goes from table to table, he finds a lone guest who apparently has never seen an episode of What Not to Wear. Once again, the tale takes a difficult turn. Instead of ending on the moral high note, the king is outraged by the guest’s attire. Commentators note the jarring nature of verses 11-13, which may leave our congregations as speechless as the man who forgot to grab his tux.
Interpreting this parable involves reckoning with Jesus’ presence in Jerusalem. The shadow of the cross, and all it demands, looms over the text. It holds implications for a church that has grown weary of the cost of discipleship, exchanging it for messages about manifesting prosperity or embodying Christian nationalism. It is a prophetic word which calls the church to consider what it means to be called. The invitation we have received is not just to dance the night away, but to respond with whole-hearted discipleship. Such discipleship, informed by Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, includes obedience, justice, humility, and extension of God’s welcome to outcasts and sinners.
In the Sermon
Matthew’s parable is an interpretative challenge and includes difficult to understand images. But engaging it as a parable of the kingdom provides insights into the importance of opening ourselves to the inclusive abundance of the invitation of God’s calling.
Most of us have faced the frustrating situation of sending out invitations that get ignored. Etiquette and protocol experts are unsure why so many people fail to say yay or nay to invitations. Perhaps we’re conflict avoidant, preferring to put off a decision. Or perhaps we are overwhelmed by out-of-control schedules and panicked by a lack of down time. Perhaps we are a nation of homebodies disinterested in getting dressed up and going out. Anyone who has ever hosted a wedding knows that far too many guests delay making a decision until it is almost too late.
I have often joked with our congregation about their reluctance to sign up for events. “I wonder,” I once said with a grin, “what would happen if I announced that Jesus would be returning next Sunday. I suspect several of you would first check to see if you have a soccer game or a softball tournament to attend.”
Jesus’ parable makes a similar point. The Spirit of God was at work inviting people to come to the abundant banquet God had prepared. A great feast is planned, and all will be invited to join in the sumptuous banquet. Such an invitation demands our attention and faithful response. A sermon could explore the message of God’s calling to our distracted churches. Coming to the party means participating in God’s acts of justice and righteousness.
In some ways, the behavior of the king’s guests is like politicians in Washington who set personal agendas ahead of serving the country by refusing to work creatively for the good of the country. It is also like those who ignore the opportunities to work graciously and collaboratively for peace, including leaders of both Palestine and Israel. Jesus describes the guest as selfish and angry, neglectful of their responsibility to honor the invitation they have been handed. in the parable. Having been told the feast is ready, the guests balk. They turn from their responsibility. Even some of those who end up attending the party have forgotten that the king expects them to be dressed appropriately.
The sermon could follow this route and make a political point would be the reminder that leaders who have been elected are called to faithfully serve. They too are called a rich feast—but that feast is not a self-serving bacchanal or seedily-indulgent party. It is a party where God’s abundance and God’s justice are to be celebrated, and a party where the rich diversity of God’s people are present. Ignoring the implications of the invitation carries considerable consequences.
As hard as it is to address, the impact of the Israeli/Hamas war cannot be ignored. This is a sensitive issue, and preachers may not feel quite up to the task of teasing out the layers. While Hamas’ actions are deplorable, the situation in Palestine cannot be ignored. A preacher would do well to wrestle with what it means to accept God’s invitation in a world of division, warfare, and deep seated resentment.
For Matthew, the party was over before it even got started—a lesson, of course, that is hidden in Jesus’ rather complicated allegory in Matthew. There are some curious, if tentative, places where the story of the wedding feast in Matthew 22 can connect with the egregious behaviors of politicians and militants who refuse to do the work they’ve been asked to do. They got their invitation and have been told barbecue is just about done. But in so many ways, they refuse to accept the invitation.
It's too bad, of course, because the party will be memorable. There’s plenty to consider, of course, but it seems that if you want to work creatively and collaboratively for peace and justice, the best place to begin is by accepting the invitation God offers.
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SECOND THOUGHTSNon-reactive Leadership
by Katy Stenta
Exodus 32:1-14
As I sit and type this, my youngest kitten is curled on my chest. She feels my anxiety from the day. I must confess that between reading up on Columbus and the attack of Israel by the extremist group of Hamas and the retaliation threat to Palestine by the government, my blood pressure has been raised all day. It makes me think about how Moses must have felt climbing the mountain, leaving his people alone, trusting them not to panic when he was gone.
I recently left my ministry position, and my small congregation is sad, and angry. The members are panicking, making decisions I would not recommend, and I am doomed to sit back and watch, biting my tongue. I keep hoping other competent leaders will step up and step in while the usual suspects of Golden calves arise — the building, money, finding every mistake I have ever made. The hurt of abandonment is real, both in my church, and I imagine, for the Hebrew people. They would rather worship a golden calf then feel alone.
It makes me think about war, how fast we would rather react in war and anger, than mourn, or sit with our pain, and provide a non-anxious presence. What a gifted leader it is to be able to just sit in the pain. Desmond Tutu is one such leader renowned for being able to do so. Moses might be another. It is a rare gift to be able sit with someone when they are scared or in pain and know that sometimes you can do nothing to fix it.
Sometimes there is no fixing of the pain. I am not convinced there is a solution to the mess of the Israel-Palestinian conflict, other than people have to stop hurting one another. It makes me think of when I visited the tomb of Jesus Christ, a most holy site. It is guarded and jealously divided by seven different sects of Christianity. It hurt my heart to see that we are in such fierce competition for holiness. Is holiness a finite resource, like the water and land that all the people — the Bedouins, Christians, Jews, Christians and more, fight over in the small scrap of land of Israel and Palestine?
I don’t know the answer, other than to sit with those who hurt, because war, panic, and golden calves are clearly all not the right answer.
ILLUSTRATIONS
From team member Mary Austin:Matthew 22:1-14
Wedding Banquet With Strangers
The parable Jesus tells found a match in one Jewish wedding banquet. As the groom’s brother, Eli Reiter, tells it, “I’ve never been happier to be kicked out of my seat — and it happened at my brother’s wedding. I’m an Orthodox Jew, and…we throw seven wedding parties, the biggest affair the first night and then one a night for six more nights. Usually, family and friends host the last six by renting out a restaurant or even hosting a mini-banquet in their homes.” This family wanted something with more meaning, so they decided to host the wedding banquet at a Masbia kosher soup kitchen, it was such an obvious idea that I wish I had thought of it myself. Masbia has a few New York City locations, each designed as a restaurant, to help give its client base dignity. Rather than burn money at an expensive eatery, we could hold the party in a Masbia dining room, bring the regulars in on the fun, offer our guests something different and give a donation that would more than cover the costs.”
On the night of the party, “the place seemed nice but a bit empty…slowly, more of the regulars started to trickle in, some wearing their Shabbat best on a Tuesday, to be a part of the festive atmosphere. An older woman brought a bouquet of roses, which we proudly displayed on the dais in front of the couple. Some took pictures with their old BlackBerry phones, like proud grandparents. During the party, I got up to greet a cousin. Then, I turned around to see my seat taken by a stranger. The regulars were starting to sit side by side with us. I was more than happy to grab a seat at a nearby unclothed table, especially because some of our guests were joining the clients in the other part of the eatery. Throughout the evening, the happy couple were approached by dozens of strangers who wished them congratulations.”
The wedding banquet — with people from the street — had all the joy the family could have wanted, and more.
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Philippians 4:1-9
Learning Joy
“Rejoice in the Lord always,” Paul urges, and most of us need to learn to cultivate joy. Rachel Macy Stafford says she was always focused on her to-do list, until her daughters taught her how to be spontaneous. One day, they were cleaning out the garage when the rain started. Becoming a student of joy, Rachel Macy Stafford knew what to do. She says, "I abruptly tossed the broom to the floor and ran to where the girls were crushing empty soda cans with enthusiasm. In a voice so urgent it actually startled them, I hollered, “Let’s go see if there’s a rainbow!” I darted out to our driveway, which was already dotted with tiny raindrops. The girls quickly followed with delighted yet reserved smiles. Natalie looked like she was waiting for me to spoil the fun by adding, “But only for a minute. We don’t want to get our clothes wet; plus we have lots of work to do!” But when I extended my arms and began swirling in circles, my daughter relaxed and did the same with a look of pure joy on her face. For several moments, my children and I just stood there savoring the soft, slow rain as it tickled our bare arms.”
“Without warning, the silence of our enchanted moment was broken by urgent young voices from off in the distance. “Rainbow! Rainbow!” shouted two neighbor boys as they pointed excitedly to the west. In our rain-induced reverie, my children and I had forgotten our initial intention. When we turned to look, our eyes filled with the most glorious sight. Not one, but two full-fledged rainbows! Miraculously, we could see their arches from end to end. My daughters looked at me and then at each other with the most amazed expressions. “Thank you! Thank you!” I cried out with joy. The boys across the street probably thought I was thanking them, but my gratitude for that glorious moment was meant for God alone.” (from Hands Free Mama)
Paul is right — we can all learn to rejoice, in all things.
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Philippians 4:1-9
Rejoice Everywhere
“Rejoice always,” Paul urges the faithful, or “Rejoice in all things.”
Aritst Jan Vormann wants to make people rejoice as they move around big cities, including New York. He uses small Lego pieces to fill in gaps and cracks in buildings, hoping to surprise and delight people. His artful repairs have “used tens of thousands of LEGO bricks to patch crumbling holes in architectural structures around the world. His colorful bricks imitate the brick or cobblestone-constructed buildings he often “repairs,” however at a miniature scale. Some pieces have just a few dozen LEGOs incorporated into an installation, while others cover zig-zagging expanses that reach across entire walls.” We can find joy everywhere!
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Philippians 4:1-9
Rejoice In Spite of Your Life
Paul’s instruction to rejoice in all things is hard to live out in real life. Molly Phinney Baskette writes about finding God’s joy even in illness, and through chemo and feeling awful. She observes, “God’s voice is both kinder and sterner than I imagined. Then and now. It often tells me things I don’t want to hear. He urges me onto a hard path that leads to far greater joy in living. My version of God may sound more like a stalker than a Hallmark card, but how often does a Hallmark card fix your life? Of course, God is as likely to ruin your life as fix it — though She will usually ruin it for the better. God is not a trained dog who will come at our calling. But there are circumstances in which we are much more likely to hear from God, usually involving loneliness and terror.” (from How to Begin When Your World Is Ending: A Spiritual Field Guide to Joy Despite Everything)
Rejoice in all things, and find God there.
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Philippians 4:1-9
Conflict Island
Paul winds up this tender letter to the believers in Philippi by urging two divided church members “to be of one mind.” Conflict expert Amada Ripley suggests a hack for similar situations in our world.
She says that in Scotland there is an island in the middle of Loch Leven called “Eilean a’ Chombraidh” or “The Isle of Discussion.” “Legend has it that the clan chiefs who would disagree (and potentially drag their clans into a useless and costly conflict) were rowed out to this tiny little island by members of their own clans. Cheese, oatcakes, and wine would be left. The clansmen would then row ashore, and sit on the banks together. Their job was to ensure that the chiefs could not escape the island by swimming away. The only way the chiefs could leave is if they came to an agreement. At first, neither would give way. They would eat the cheese and oatcake, drink the wine, curse, and argue. But as the night came, and the cheese and wine ran out, and the cold wind blew into the loch from the North Sea, the men, desperate to leave, would begin to negotiate. Once an agreement had been reached, the men would row their chiefs to another little island where agreements were ensconced in writing and sealed.”
Perhaps this would work for Euodia and Syntyche, or for us, or even for Congress.
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From team member Tom Willadsen:Exodus 32:1-14
God changed God’s mind
The NRSV says that God “changed his mind” in Exodus 32:14. The Jewish Publishing Society renders that concept “renounced the punishment He had planned.” Other translations say God “repented,” and “relented from the disaster.”
The Message says “And God did think twice.” Moses was persuasive, and God is alive. This time, Moses was relieved that God changed God’s mind. Compare him to Jonah, who was irritated when the Lord decided not to destroy Nineveh. God’s mercy infuriated Jonah.
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Psalm 106:1-6, 19-23
Moses in the breach (on the beach)
The last verse in today’s psalm reading has Moses “in the breach” between God and the people. A breach can be a violation, e.g. a breach of trust or of a contract, but it is also a gap. One could say that Moses put himself into a breach in both senses of the English term. Clearly, the Lord’s trust was violated when Aaron forged the golden calf, but Moses also stood between the people and their enraged Lord when Moses implored the Lord to spare the Israelites, because what would the Egyptians think of you — and You promised, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
Psalm 106 combines God’s deliverance at the Sea of Reeds from Exodus 14, with God repenting from God’s anger in Exodus 34. So, Moses is in the breach, on the beach.
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Matthew 22:1-14
It’s not fair (but it’s not a party!)
Today’s parable from Matthew’s gospel is intended to offend. It’s the third of three parables Jesus told against chief priests and elders, starting back in Matthew 21:23. Remember, he’s just arrived in Jerusalem and cleansed the Temple. He’s on a roll.
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Philippians 4:1-9
Suppose the Philippians wrote back!
Former major league baseball player and humorist, Joe Garagiola, used to muse, “It seems every Sunday in church we hear ‘Paul’s Letter to the Corinthians.’ I gotta wonder, did the Corinthians ever write back?”
Well, it appears that the Philippians did. Paul learns of a squabble between two women in the congregation — Euodia and Syntyche. We don’t know the nature of the dispute, but we can have a lot of fun speculating. These women appear only here in the Bible. Clement is also mentioned only here in scripture. He does not appear to be part of the disagreement between Euodia and Syntyche.
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Philippians 4:3
“yoke fellow”
The New Revised Standard Version renders the Greek γνήσιε γνήσιε as “loyal companion.” This individual is unnamed, presumably not Clement, but another trusted leader who could help Euodia and Syntyche reach peace. A literal rendering would be “yoke fellow.” Other translations have “loyal friend,” “true partner,” and “faithful partner,” but yoke fellow gives a much grittier, humbler picture of one of Paul’s most trusted companions, and the task of Christians living together in peace.
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Psalm 106:1-6
Thank and switch
The first three verses of today’s reading are classic thanksgiving language. At verse 4 the psalm makes a dramatic turn. The psalmist speaks in the first person singular and asks for mercy and prosperity. At the sixth verse, the psalmist confesses his sin and the sin of his ancestors. The final portion of today’s reading recalls the three violations of the commandments recounted in today’s reading from Exodus:
They made an image of God; they worshipped it; and they forgot what the Lord their God had done in busting them out of the House of Slavery.
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Philippians 4:7
Guarded hearts
Paul’s use of φρουρήσει (will guard) may be a subtle reference to his being in prison. The word is also used to describe garrisoned cities, well-protected banks and mother wolves defending pups. It’s a much stronger term than the English “keep.”
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From team member Dean Feldmeyer:Exodus 32:1-14
When Moses fails to show up, the people become anxious and start acting out in inappropriate ways, the chief of which is idolatry.
Panic Attack vs. Anxiety Attack
“Dean, as I was afraid might be the case, the places on your thighs are malignant. They’re a form of lymphoma called Mycosis Fungoides and we’ll need to talk about a treatment. Can you come in tomorrow morning?”
If my doctor would have asked me to be in within the hour, I would have, of course, dropped everything. As it was, waiting 18 hours was worse. But I managed to keep it under control. I waited, slept a little, had my breakfast, and then my wife, Jean, and I made our way to the doctor’s office.
We talked calmly for about 20 minutes. He explained about MF (as he called it) and we asked some questions. Turned out the treatment was, oddly enough, fairly simple. A super expensive ointment that had to be applied every day for what would turn out to be a year and a half.
Then we got in the car to drive home and a couple of miles down the road, I couldn’t breathe. I gasped. I heaved. I panicked. I hyperventilated. Jean pulled the car into a parking lot and waited patiently for me to get it together. I think it was the words “lymphoma,” and “cancer” that finally hit me. Like a sledge hammer to the chest.
I thought it was a panic attack. Jean explained that it was, more likely, an anxiety attack. Turns out there’s a difference.
Panic attack and anxiety attack are not the same terms. Panic attack is a defined medical condition with specific criteria and symptoms, while anxiety attack is a colloquial term that varies in meaning and intensity. Panic attacks can happen suddenly and without a trigger, while anxiety attacks are usually a response to a stressor or threat. Panic attacks are typically brief and intense, while anxiety attacks can last longer and range from mild to severe.
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What Is Anxiety?
Here are some of the things that the Mayo Clinic website has to say about anxiety and specifically, anxiety disorder:
Experiencing occasional anxiety is a normal part of life. However, people with anxiety disorders frequently have intense, excessive and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Often, anxiety disorders involve repeated episodes of sudden feelings of intense anxiety and fear or terror that reach a peak within minutes (panic attacks).
Anxiety disorder occurs when a person’s anxiety interferes with daily activities, is difficult to control, is out of proportion to the actual danger and can last a long time.
Examples of anxiety disorders include generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder (social phobia), specific phobias and separation anxiety disorder. You can have more than one anxiety disorder. Sometimes anxiety results from a medical condition that needs treatment.
Common anxiety signs and symptoms include:
Feeling nervous, restless or tense
Having a sense of impending danger, panic or doom
Having an increased heart rate
Breathing rapidly (hyperventilation)
Sweating
Trembling
Feeling weak or tired
Trouble concentrating or thinking about anything other than the present worry
Having trouble sleeping
Experiencing gastrointestinal (GI) problems
Having difficulty controlling worry
Having the urge to avoid things that trigger anxiety
Several types of anxiety disorders exist — they include: Agoraphobia; Generalized anxiety disorder; Panic disorder; Selective mutism; Separation anxiety disorder; Social anxiety disorder (social phobia); Substance-induced anxiety disorder; and “unspecified anxiety disorder.”
Symptoms of an anxiety disorder may include:
You feel like you're worrying too much and it's interfering with your work, relationships or other parts of your life.
Your fear, worry or anxiety is upsetting to you and difficult to control.
You feel depressed, have trouble with alcohol or drug use, or have other mental health concerns along with anxiety.
You think your anxiety could be linked to a physical health problem.
You have suicidal thoughts or behaviors — if this is the case, seek emergency treatment immediately.
Your worries may not go away on their own, and they may get worse over time if you don't seek help. See your doctor or a mental health provider before your anxiety gets worse. It's easier to treat if you get help early.
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The Non-Anxious Presence
In his groundbreaking book, Generation to Generation, psychologist/rabbi Edwin Friedman says that the true leader is the person with the ability to be the non-anxious presence in an anxious system. The corollary to this axiom is that all systems are, inherently, anxious.
From the United States Congress to the little league baseball team, from the multi-national corporation to the church on the corner, from the board of directors to the PTA, all systems are inherently and chronically anxious. Anxious about being judged or criticized by others inside and/or outside the system, about failing to meet their goals, about making the wrong decisions, about making any decisions at all. They are anxious about the past and anxious about the future.
The best leaders are those who can be in the midst of an anxious system without becoming anxious, themselves.
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Philippians 4:1-9
Paul addresses a situation in the Philippian church where an interpersonal dispute between two women is endangering the mission of the entire church.
Surrendering Power
Another observation that Friedman often makes is that churches (as well as other systems) often tend to turn over control of the system to the loudest, meanest, most emotionally immature, and dysfunctional person in the system, not because it’s the smart or helpful thing to do but because it’s the “Christian thing to do.”
We don’t want a scene. We don’t want people to get angry or fight. We don’t want a disruption in the nice, pleasant, polite progress of the meeting, worship service, classroom, ball game, or whatever. So, when that negative person threatens to disrupt the event, we let them have their way in order to keep everything nice.
He points out that, more often, the Christian thing to do is to stand up to bullies, call out hypocrites, confront liars, and hold fast in the face of challenges.
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Conflict Managed
Years ago, a large statue of Christ was erected high in the Andes on the border between Argentina and Chile. Called "Christ of the Andes," the statue symbolizes a pledge between the two countries that as long as the statue stands, there will be peace between Chile and Argentina. Shortly after the statue was erected, the Chileans began to protest that they had been slighted — the statue had its back turned to Chile. Just when tempers were at their highest in Chile, a Chilean newspaperman saved the day. In an editorial that not only satisfied the people but made them laugh, he simply said, "The people of Argentina need more watching over than the Chileans."
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How To Turn A Disagreement Into A Feud
In his book, Tell it to the Church, Ron Kraybill, offers that there are eight ways to turn a simple disagreement into a roiling feud.
1. Be sure to develop and maintain a healthy fear of conflict, letting your own feelings build up so you are in an explosive frame of mind.
2. If you must state your concerns, be as vague and general as possible. Then the other person cannot do anything practical to change the situation.
3. Assume you know all the facts and you are totally right. The use of a clinching Bible verse is helpful. Speak prophetically for truth and justice; do most of the talking.
4. With a touch of defiance, announce your willingness to talk with anyone who wishes to discuss the problem with you. But do not take steps to initiate such conversation.
5. Latch tenaciously onto whatever evidence you can find that shows the other person is merely jealous of you.
6. Judge the motivation of the other party on any previous experience that showed failure or unkindness. Keep track of any angry words.
7. If the discussion should, alas, become serious, view the issue as a win/lose struggle. Avoid possible solutions and go for total victory and unconditional surrender. Don't let too many options on the table.
8. Pass the buck! If you are about to get cornered into a solution, indicate you are without power to settle; you need your partner, spouse, bank, whatever.
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Disagreements vs. Conflicts
Catherine Aponte Psy.D writes in Psychology Today that for relationships to survive and be healthy, people need to understand the difference between disagreements and conflicts. She offers this advice.
Differences and disagreements are about what you and your partner want to happen. You can disagree about when to go to the movies, how to discipline your children, or where to get the car serviced. When you disagree with your spouse, it is about something not about each other.
The defining thing about a disagreement is that you and your partner are talking to each other. And because you are talking to each other, you can negotiate a resolution to the disagreement. You can look for a win-win outcome. Most importantly, after the disagreement, you are both still talking to each other.
In contrast, when you and your spouse are in conflict, you are making assumptions about each other and the feelings you have toward each other are negative and strong. In a conflict, you are not talking; rather, you are yelling, avoiding, accusing, talking over each other, etc. These actions fuel the relationship conflict. There is no negotiation in conflict — no resolution — and no benefit to the relationship.
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Big Feuds
The following are, according to the World Atlas, some of the biggest, longest, and most impactful feuds of all time:
The Medici Family and The Pazzi Family — The Medici family was well known as the most powerful family in the city of Florence, Italy, and their power threatened the Pazzis. On April 26th, 1478, a couple of members of the Pazzi family decided to organize an assassination attempt on some Medici members. They did so during a mass at the Florence Cathedral. They managed to kill Giuliano de Medici, and as retaliation, the Medici family executed the assassins and exiled the rest of the Pazzi family.
Adolf Dassler versus Rudolf Dassler — Both of these men were shoemakers from the German city of Herzogenaurach. They were also brothers, which makes their feud all the more bizarre. No one knows exactly what happened, but even though they achieved success when Jesse Owens wore their shoes at the 1936 Olympics, the brothers decided to part ways. And they did so on bad terms. They split their company and became enemies. However, both achieved success, one with the company Adidas, and the other with his company Puma.
Alexander Hamilton versus Aaron Burr — These two politicians in the 18th century were good friends until Burr managed to beat Hamilton’s father-in-law for a seat in the New York Senate. This turned their friendship into a widely-known feud that resulted in an actual duel. With guns! It ended tragically, Hamilton shot his gun in the air because he never wanted to duel, and Burr shot him in the stomach. Hamilton died the next day.
The Feud of Biddulph, Ontario — This feud involved an entire city going against a family called the Donnellys. The father of the family was imprisoned for murder in 1857, but his two sons opened up a successful business in the town of Biddulph. However, the people living there did not like this, so they constantly tried shutting them down. The tensions exploded eventually, and the feud culminated in people breaking into Donnelly’s house and killing five members of the family.
The Ako Vendetta — During the 17th century, Kira Yoshinaka, a Japanese military official, continuously disrespected Asano Naganori, a feudal lord. Naganori eventually got fed up and attacked Yoshinaka in self-defense, but he was arrested and forced to commit ritual suicide known as seppuku. After they learned of his death, his loyal samurai warriors decided to avenge him. There were 47 of them, and they attacked Yoshinaka’s home and killed him. They were eventually arrested and forced to commit seppuku as well.
Thomas Edison And Nikola Tesla — The rivalry between these two inventors can be easily described as the battle between the electrical currents they discovered — AC versus DC. Nikola Tesla actually worked for Edison for a short while and tried warning him how limited direct current is when compared to alternating current. Edison did not like Tesla’s ideas, so Tesla quit and sold his patents to a different company. Throughout the years, Edison continued to belittle Tesla’s work out of jealousy; however, they were both posthumously recognized for their important work.
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Matthew 22:1-14
Parable: The Kingdom of God is like a king who throws a wedding feast and the invited guests not only refuse to come but mistreat the messengers who come to tell them that the feast is starting. So, the king invites people from the streets instead.
The Fomo Phenomenon
Experts tell us that, when you send out invitations, depending on what kind of event you are inviting people to, you can expect somewhere between 25-50% to ignore your request to RSVP. Why is that? Well, it depends on lots of things: the event, the people, their maturity level, their level of cultural awareness. Here are the most common excuses people give for not RSVP’ing.
- They may have trouble making decisions or commitments.
- They could be trying to avoid conflict by failing to RSVP because, for them, it's easier to ignore an invite than to actively decline it.
- They forget to RSVP.
- They can't make up their minds.
- They think one more person showing up or not coming isn't a big deal.
- They procrastinate and then feel guilty, so they delay even longer.
Interestingly, (and coincidentally?) the Fomorians or Fomori are a supernatural race in Irish mythology, who are often portrayed as hostile and monstrous beings.
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Disasterous Wedding = Disasterous Marriage?
Maybe, but maybe not.
Prince Albert and Charlene Wittsock are a more modern couple whose wedding was doused in disaster. Prince Albert is Grace Kelly’s son, while Charlene is a stunning South African swimmer.
Good looks and handy connections don’t necessarily make for a smooth wedding, however.
Just a few days before the two were set to be wed, Charlene made an attempt to flee to Monaco. Her reasoning was that it had come out that Prince Albert had just become a father to a third illegitimate child. Although she didn’t go through with her plan, she tried again later with a one-way ticket to France, but she was intercepted at the airport.
Eventually, the couple did get married in 2011. Despite the fact that the princess went through with the wedding, they spent their honeymoon in separate hotels. Still, they’ve managed to weather the storm and are still together today.
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From team member Elena Delhagen:Exodus 32:1-14
A Tale of Three Calves
A large portion of biblical scholars date this text from Exodus to approximately the late eighth century — early seventh century B.C.E. In that time, the northern kingdom of Israel had broken away, and King Jeroboam famously set up his golden idols (which were calves!) in Bethel and Dan so that the people would no longer have to go all the way to Jerusalem to worship the Lord. Jeroboam’s sin was punished by YHWH, as we know, becoming the reason for the northern kingdom’s harsh judgment in 723-722 B.C.E. when the ruling city of Samaria was captured by Neo-Assyria.
If the timing is accurate, it would appear the author of Exodus (which traditionally has been named as Moses, though recent scholarship suggests the writing took place long after Moses’ time) was drawing a deliberate connection between Aaron and the Israelites at Horeb and Jeroboam and the Israelites in the northern kingdom. Why? To showcase the futility of humanity’s attempts to worship gods of our own making.
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Exodus 32:1-14
These Are Your Gods. (Or Are They?)
Aaron gets a bad rap for being the one who formed the golden calf, declaring “These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt!” However, more than one interpreter has suggested that Aaron’s words to the Israelites may be more tongue-in-cheek than they appear. In ancient Mesopotamia, when a statue of a deity was made, a ritual called “mis-pi” would take place, which essentially means “washing of the mouth.” The idea is that this mouth-washing ritual was necessary in order to turn the finite statue into a living, intangible god. The ritual took place over several days and aimed to wash away all remaining traces of its human manufacturer from the statue so that the deity could become wholly divine.
Since the text gives no indication that the mis-pi ritual actually took place at the base of the mountain, according to cultural belief of the day, the calf was not really a god at all; it was simply a golden cow. And Aaron knew this. That is why it’s been suggested that his words — “These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt!” — are mocking the belief that mere human hands could make gods. For truly, there is only one God, who brought Israel up out of the land of Egypt — no mouth-washing ritual necessary.
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Psalm 106:1-6, 19-23
Scandalous Forgiveness
Psalm 106 recounts in great detail the litany of sins that Israel has committed against YHWH. The song appears to read as historical narrative and lament, meant to recall God’s faithfulness to God’s people by showing God’s investment in their lives and response to their prayers, their confessions, their cries, their praises, and their worship. It’s a story of unmerited forgiveness — mercy that defies comprehension.
The Forgiveness Project, founded in 2004 by a journalist named Marina Cantacuzino, provides stories and resources to help people examine and overcome their own unresolved grievances. At the project’s heart is its understanding that restorative narratives have the power to elicit transformation. YHWH had every reason to turn away from the people, justified by their rebellion and betrayals. But that’s what makes forgiveness and mercy so powerful; it defies what’s expected. It’s upside-down to our typical “eye for an eye” type of thinking.
The Forgiveness Project’s stories section is full of testimonials of people who had every reason to hold grudges, walk away, even seek revenge. Yet somehow, they forgave. Just as this psalm leads us to praise God for his forgiveness, may we also be spurred to examine how we can offer forgiveness in our own lives as well.
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Matthew 22:1-14
Who’s In and Who’s Out?
“It’s a Wonderful Life” is perhaps one of the most famous films of all time. It begins with a love story — that of Mary and George Bailey. They are sacrificial, loving, kind, and caring, giving selflessly to everyone that comes across their path, particularly those who are what we might call “the least of these.” Mr. Potter, the movie’s villain and self-proclaimed King of Bedford Falls, simply cannot understand why Mary and George live this way. It’s almost…offensive to him.
Well, as with life, George has so much love and joy in his days, but he also has his fair share of trials. By the end of the movie, it’s Christmas Eve, and George is in the middle of a crisis. His uncle has lost an $8,000 deposit that would have protected their savings and loan business from bankruptcy and fraud charges. The government is breathing down his neck, George could be arrested at any moment, and George, not knowing what else to do, asks his nemesis, Mr. Potter, for a loan.
And Mr. Potter responds…well, just as one would expect him to respond. He cruelly tells George to go ask all the people he’s helped to save him now, knowing full-well that all those whom George has helped are unable to repay him. Mr. Potter throws George out of his office, spitting at him that George would be worth more dead than alive at this point. Ready to take his life, George ends up at a bridge — and then God, sending an angel named Clarence, steps in.
Clarence opts to show George what life would have been life if he’d never been born at all, and it is a terrifying imagination. All those people George had helped in life were angry and destitute because, of course, they’d never had anyone willing to do something kind for them. His brother is dead, because George hadn’t been there when he was nine to save him when he fell beneath the ice. Mr. Potter reigns over the town (it’s now called Pottersville) and the beautiful family George has had doesn’t exist. There is no joy. No grace. And this jolts George back to reality, begging for God to take him back.
And so George Bailey returns home and oh, what a beautiful return it is. He grabs his wife and children and hugs them tightly, and then the door opens, and guests start to arrive. They’ve brought all the money they had, called in some favors, cancelled any Christmas plans they had, to show up for George. They shower him with all the love and joy he invested into others his whole life.
And this, I think, is what the wedding banquet in this week’s text from Matthew is meant to look like. I’ve heard so many interpretations of this parable over the years. The King could be God, or he could represent the Roman occupation and political rule of the time. Jesus could be the groom, or perhaps he’s the undressed wedding guest. One thing that all these interpretations have in common, though, is the roles we assign to ourselves when we read this text. We’re the ones that get to show up to the party. Even if we’re B-listers, at least we get an invitation! And at least we’re grateful for it! How convenient, isn’t it? And also — how grossly beyond the point.
Because the trap of this text is that we often start categorizing people to fit the character boxes we’ve placed them in. This person or this group is in. That one? Out. And our interpretation is usually always flawed. We have a tendency to mistake earthly kings for God and to mistake those who are our brothers and sisters as outsiders… even our enemies. But that is not the Kingdom of God. That’s not the gospel of Christ. God doesn’t ask us to choose who we deem worthy or not; God asks us to go out and call, to preach the good news, to do justice and love mercy and walk humbly, to taste and see that the Lord is good and to offer that bread of life to all those who hunger for it.
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WORSHIPby George Reed
Call to Worship
One: Praise the Lord! O give thanks to God who is good.
All: Praise God whose steadfast love endures forever.
One: Who can tell all God’s deeds or declare all God’s praise?
All: Happy are we who observe justice and do righteousness.
One: Remember us, O God, show favor to your people.
All: Then we will rejoice in gladness when you deliver us.
OR
One: The Lord is our shepherd, we shall not want.
All: God makes us lie down in green pastures.
One: God leads us beside still waters and restores our soul.
All: God leads us in right paths that we might honor God’s name.
One: Surely goodness and mercy shall follow us always.
All: Let us dwell in the presence of our God our whole life long.
OR
One: Come to the banquet of love God has set before us.
All: We rejoice that God calls us to such a feast.
One: Come and enter fully into God’s realm of love.
All: We come to be filled with God’s love for all.
One: Share the love and grace that you receive.
All: We open our hearts and lives to all God’s children.
Hymns and Songs
Holy, Holy, Holy! Lord God Almighty
UMH: 64/65
H82: 362
PH: 138
GTG: 1
AAHH: 329
NNBH: 1
NCH: 277
CH: 4
LBW: 165
ELW: 413
W&P: 136
AMEC: 25
STLT 26
Renew: 204
O Worship the King
UMH: 73
H82: 388
PH: 476
GTG: 41
NNBH: 6
NCH: 26
CH: 17
LBW: 548
ELW: 842
W&P: 2
AMEC: 12
Immortal, Invisible, God Only Wise
UMH: 103
H82: 423
PH: 263
GTG: 12
NCH: 1
CH: 66
LBW: 526
ELW: 834
W&P: 48
AMEC: 71
STLT: 273
Renew: 46
Jesus Shall Reign
UMH: 157
H82: 544
PH: 423
GTG: 265
NNBH: 10
NCH: 300
CH: 95
LBW: 530
ELW: 434
W&P: 341
AMEC: 96
Renew: 296
Christ, Whose Glory Fills the Skies
UMH: 173
H82: 6/7
PH: 462/463
GTG: 662
LBW: 265
ELW: 553
W&P: 91
Come, Sinners, to the Gospel Feast
UMH: 339
AMEC: 234
Tú Has Venido a la Orilla (Lord, you Have Come to the Lakeshore
UMH: 344
PH: 377
CH: 342
W&P: 347
Dear Lord and Father of Mankind
UMH: 358
H82: 652/653
PH: 345
GTG: 169
NCH: 502
CH: 594
LBW: 506
W&P: 470
AMEC: 344
Amazing Grace
UMH: 378
H82: 671
PH: 280
GTG: 649
AAHH: 271/272
NNBH: 161/163
NCH: 547/548
CH: 546
LBW: 448
ELW: 779
W&P: 422
AMEC: 226
STLT 205/206
Renew: 189
Jesus Calls Us
UMH: 398
H82: 549/550
GTG: 720
NNBH: 183
NCH: 171/172
CH: 337
LBW: 494
ELW: 696
W&P: 345
AMEC: 238
O How He Loves You and Me!
CCB: 38
Renew: 27
The Steadfast Love of the Lord
CCB: 28
Renew: 23
Music Resources Key
UMH: United Methodist Hymnal
H82: The Hymnal 1982
PH: Presbyterian Hymnal
GTG: Glory to God, The Presbyterian Hymnal
AAHH: African American Heritage Hymnal
NNBH: The New National Baptist Hymnal
NCH: The New Century Hymnal
CH: Chalice Hymnal
LBW: Lutheran Book of Worship
ELW: Evangelical Lutheran Worship
W&P: Worship & Praise
AMEC: African Methodist Episcopal Church Hymnal
STLT: Singing the Living Tradition
CCB: Cokesbury Chorus Book
Renew: Renew! Songs & Hymns for Blended Worship
Prayer for the Day/Collect
O God who constantly invites us into your presence:
Open our hearts that we may not only respond to your invitation
but to come prepared to participate in your new realm of love;
through Jesus Christ our Savior. Amen.
OR
We praise you, O God, because you are the one who is always inviting us to come to your banquet of love. You open the doors to your new realm and invite us to dine with you. Help us to respond whole heartedly that we may enter and participate in the new things you are doing. Amen.
Prayer of Confession
One: Let us confess to God and before one another our sins and especially our reluctance to enter God’s banquet hall or to invite others in.
All: We confess to you, O God, and before one another that we have sinned. We have shunned your invitation choosing rather to enter into the realm of strife, greed, and conflict. We refuse your generous offer and we try to prevent others from entering declaring that they are not ‘worthy’. Forgive us our foolish ways and open our eyes to the wonder of your gracious invitation to dine on life and love. Amen.
One: God’s invitation is extended to all. Forsake the old ways and enter into God’s banquet hall inviting all to join us.
Prayers of the People
Praised and glorious are you, O Gracious Host, who opens your realm of love, light, and life to all creation. Blessed are you now and for ever.
(The following paragraph may be used if a separate prayer of confession has not been used.)
We confess to you, O God, and before one another that we have sinned. We have shunned your invitation choosing rather to enter into the realm of strife, greed, and conflict. We refuse your generous offer and we try to prevent others from entering declaring that they are not ‘worthy'. Forgive us our foolish ways and open our eyes to the wonder of your gracious invitation to dine on life and love.
We give you thanks for all the ways in which your gracious love is opened to us. You have given us a wonderful world to live in that provides for all our earthly needs. You have given us your own Spirit to dwell within us and among us to satisfy our hearts and souls. You have given us your own Son to guide us and lead us back to you. We thank you for those of your children who have heard your invitation and have shared it with us.
(Other thanksgivings may be offered.)
We pray for all your children and your creation. We are broken and in need of your healing. We pray for those who have been told they are not welcome in your banquet hall and so find it hard to believe in your gracious love and care for them. We pray for those who are striving to be open doors to your realm. We pray for ourselves that we may mirror the loving care for all that we find in the Christ.
(Other intercessions may be offered.)
Hear us as we pray for others: (Time for silent or spoken prayer.)
All these things we ask in the name of our Savior Jesus Christ who taught us to pray saying:
Our Father....Amen.
(Or if the Our Father is not used at this point in the service.)
All this we ask in the name of the Blessed and Holy Trinity. Amen.
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CHILDREN'S SERMONBeware of False Idols
by Quantisha Mason-Doll
Psalm 106:19-23
Theme: It takes only one person.
Required Items
- Golden calf or Plastic cow spray painted gold
- Two puppets — one Aaron and one Moses
Aaron loses hope in Moses’ return and when he loses hope he loses faith in God’s steadfast promise to the people.
The idol or golden calf is an earthly being bound by earthly rule. Give the calf a speaking role. It could sound something like this:
“I’m the calf of Horeb. I am made by human hand, of earthly materials! Look how I shine in the noon light! There is not much I can do for you no matter how much you pray to me. But, I’m very pretty to look at!”
Moses puppet can ask the question of puppet Aaron: “Why lose faith now?”
It is okay if this question goes unanswered by puppet Aaron. Have the children try answer by telling about the times they felt lost or hopeless.
God almost rejects the chosen people because God’s trust was broken. This was painful for God. But Moses stands up for his brothers and sisters. They might have lost faith in God and him but he (Moses) did not lose faith in them.
Prayer
Leader: We thank you God for being our guiding light.
Children: Help us to share our light.
Leader: We thank you for showing us right from wrong.
Children: Guide us always when we need you most.
Leader: We thank you for showing us the way home.
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The Immediate Word, October 15, 2023 issue.
Copyright 2023 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to The Immediate Word service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons and in worship and classroom settings only. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., 5450 N. Dixie Highway, Lima, Ohio 45807.
