You Want Too Much, Jesus
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For September 17, 2023:
You Want Too Much, Jesus
by Mary Austin
Matthew 18:21-35
“Ignorant people avenge,” the flashing sign at the diner said, interspersed with “Coffee, eggs and toast: $4.00.” “Strong people forgive” was the next message, followed by another breakfast special. Finally, “Wise people ignore.”
Watching the curious mix of advice plus breakfast specials kept me thinking until my food arrived. I was on board with “strong people forgive,” and yet “wise people ignore” felt like a free pass for bad behavior.
This week Jesus has a demanding word about how often we need to forgive others, and he has me wondering if he’s asking too much of us. His original word is for people joined together in a community of faith. Do we have to apply it to everyone in our lives, too?
In the News
A trip through the headlines raises the question of whether everything should be forgiven.
In the midst of the war with Russia, Elon Musk turned off his company’s Starlink satellite service at a crucial moment for Ukraine. Musk said “he hadn’t disabled the service but had rather refused to comply with an emergency request from Ukrainian officials to enable Starlink connections to Sevastopol on the occupied Crimean peninsula. That was in effect an acknowledgment that he had made the decision to prevent a Ukrainian attack.” Should interference from a private business owner be forgiven by a country under siege by a larger power?
Head football coach Mel Tucker of Michigan State University has been suspended without pay for alleged sexual misconduct against an anti-rape activist. Cynical football fans might wonder if he would have been suspended if he had a winning season last year. Others speculate that the school might be glad to get a huge chunk of the coach’s multimillion dollar contract back.
Michigan State “has continued to face scrutiny over its past handling of sexual abuse allegations against Larry Nassar, the former Michigan State University and USA Gymnastics doctor who abused hundreds of young girls and women. At Nassar’s sentencing in Michigan in 2018, dozens of women came forward with stories of his abuse and the ways Michigan State University ignored their claims and enabled his actions. The university agreed to pay $500 million to settle lawsuits brought by 332 victims.”
Is it right to ask these women to forgive the university?
Forgiving people with whom we have a relationship is hard enough. Do our obligations extend even more widely?
In the Scriptures
An unfortunate division in the lectionary severs the first verse of this passage from the instructions right before it. Instead of a new thought, this is Jesus’ last word in his conversation about disagreements between the believers. He ends the practical advice with this instruction to forgive more times than we can count. His challenge, as part of the lesson about disputes between members of a community, is for people who are connected to each other.
He illustrates his message with this parable about the servant who receives mercy and then fails to pass it on. The contrast invites us to think about where forgiveness flows in and out of our lives, and where it gets stuck. The servant receives grace for a very large debt, and then is harsh with a fellow servant about a much smaller debt. Initially, the servant asks for more time to come up with money to pay the huge debt, and, instead the king forgives the debt. He gets much more than he asks for. Still, he can’t manage to extend the same grace to the person who mirrors his predicament.
The king holds all the power in the parable, and his actions are inspiring. The servant, who has some power, acts with far less kindness. The parable invites us to consider how we extend forgiveness, or refuse to share it, in our own lives.
In the Sermon
As Jesus talks about forgiveness here, he’s talking to people who have a relationship in a faith community. Forgiveness prevents rupture in the group. When we step outside these bonds, we’re not obligated to hold onto a relationship. Or there may be no connection at all. The sermon might look at the selfish side of forgiveness. Even if we don’t care about the relationship, even when the trust is broken and we’re never going back, there’s still a practical value to forgiving.
In his new book, Trust, Henry Cloud proposes that we forgive people for our own spiritual health, not for the benefit of the other party. He writes, “Unforgiveness can turn you into a bitter, vengeful person. It causes you to lose aspects of your soul and life to the person who betrayed you. As long as you hold on to what wrong they did, they still own you. As I heard someone say once, “When you remain angry, you are just a character in someone else’s story.” When you let go and forgive, you are free to write your own story.”
He adds, "Forgiveness cleans out the past so you can evaluate what you want to do with the future. Just because you forgive someone does not mean you trust them. Forgiveness is free. It’s something you grant a person for no reason having anything to do with them. You do it for your own good, so you can move beyond the pain of what they did to you." The sermon might explore forgiveness as a path into the future.
Or, the sermon could examine the call to forgiveness as a mirror. In my own life, the people I find most difficult are the people who show me an ugly, unwanted side of myself. In the parable, the servant fails to show grace to someone who reminds him of his own failings. We do the same. The sermon could invite us to examine where we find it hard to forgive. It could also explore how differently we feel about forgiveness when we’re receiving it, or giving it.
Or, the sermon could delve into the connection between power and forgiveness, also hinted at in the parable. As Henry Cloud notes in Trust, “Anger points us to a problem…We need to get past anger for our own good, and for the hope of anything good ever happening. As it is expressed adequately, and then healing of the wound happens and power is regained, the anger diminishes.” Do we forgive more readily when we have power? Do we hold onto anger when we feel powerless? Is Jesus’ instruction in Matthew 18 a way of regaining agency for the person who has been wronged?
Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg, who has written extensively on repentance, repair, and forgiveness, notes that we confuse the three. For Jewish people, she says, the emphasis is on repentance, not forgiveness. “If I’m doing internal work and not actually making amends, then I’m not doing complete repentance work. If I’m not apologizing to the person I harmed and attending to their material, emotional or spiritual needs, then that’s not repentance work. I’m not doing the active things to repair the hole in the cosmos I created…”
Ruttenberg adds, “forgiveness can be deeply internal. You don’t always have to forgive. Repentance can happen without being forgiven. And even if you forgive the person who harmed you, you can choose never to tell them. Nothing says that you’re obligated to let the other person know.” The sermon could explore different kinds of forgiveness — anything from forgiveness and a new relationship to forgiveness and no relationship.
There is no one-size-fits-all in the realm of forgiveness. No matter what the neon sign at the diner says!
SECOND THOUGHTS
Forgiveness In The Church Wars
by Dean Feldmeyer
Matthew 18:21-35
Unforgiven
In week one of NCAA football the Duke Blue Devils soundly defeated the No. 9 ranked Clemson Tigers in a 27-8 upset. Duke’s junior quarterback Riley Leonard passed for 175 yards and rushed for 98 yards and a touchdown in Duke's win, then sent an extension request to his professor via the postgame media availability.
"Professor Taylor,” Riley pleaded into the camera, “If you're seeing this, please let me turn in my homework late because it's due at 12, and it may already be 12.”
The following day, Professor Donald Taylor replied with his own video on the platform formerly known as Twitter, reminding Leonard that the linemen who were in the class prepared and did the assignment ahead of time, “so why didn't the quarterback?” Then he added, “So, no way man, no extension.”
Think of Professor Taylor as Santa Clause and Quarterback Leonard as a child asking for a specific present, in this case, forgiveness for not turning the assignment in on time. Sadly, our hero has not been a “good little boy,” an eventuality wherein the gift would not have been necessary or requested, and so, the gift is withheld.
Because forgiveness is, after all, a gift.
In his 1992, Academy Award winning film Unforgiven, Clint Eastwood plays a character named Bill Munny, a retired gunman who is described in the prologue and postscript as “a known thief and murderer, a man of notoriously vicious and intemperate disposition.” We are led to believe, however, that he was persuaded to leave that violent life by his wife, a woman who forgave his past and chose to love him in spite of it but has recently died from smallpox. A farmer, mired in grief, depression, and anger, he is left alone to raise his children but unable to bring himself to do even the simplest of farm chores.
Then, one day, a prostitute from a town some miles away shows up at his door. Her face has been hideously disfigured by a drunken, knife wielding cowboy and she and the other girls in the house have collected enough money to pay Bill to return to his old profession and kill the cowboy.
They have no intention of letting go of the injustice they have suffered and forgiving the cowboy. And fate, it seems, has no intention of forgiving Bill and letting him let go of his past. Desperate for money to care for his family and a failure at farming, Bill reluctantly agrees to return to the only work he does so well.
The town where the prostitutes work, however, is a seething pit of corruption, violence, and criminality and his reputation has preceded him. Before Bill can return to his family he will have to deal with a self-righteous, sadistic sheriff, a homicidal bounty hunter, a pitiless citizenry, and the inability of anyone, including himself, to bestow forgiveness, which is, after all, a gift.
When we speak of forgiveness, we tend to turn the camera of our consciousness outward to the world and it is good that we do so. Should we forgive this politician, or that criminal, or this abusive clergyperson or coach or grifter?
The gospel text for today, however, turns the camera inward, to the church. The topic before us on this Sunday is how the gift of forgiveness is bestowed or withheld within the community of faith.
The Great Church Parlor War Of 2017
“If the North American Christian church goes extinct — it won’t, but bear with me — it won’t be marauding infidels or nationalistic idolatries that do it. It will be coffee creamer.” — Rev. Erica Maccreaigh.
Rev. Maccreaigh goes on, in her article for The Christian Century magazine (Sept. 2023) to draw out how coffee and coffee creamer and how they are provided for the church’s Sunday coffee hour are often metaphors for the small, picky, unimportant things that divide congregations.
It’s not, it turns out, that one brand of coffee is that much better than another so much as it is that someone committed the unforgivable faux pas of changing the brands without first consulting with the coffee committee. Same with the creamer. This slight, this insult cannot be tolerated as cannot the refusal of the coffee committee to even consider a different, fair-trade kind of coffee that was offered by these rogue, woke coffee providers. War, as you can imagine, ensues and it is the pastor who is co-opted into the triangle of conflict and wounded by fire from both sides.
Join a church and participate enthusiastically in it for more than a couple of years and Pastor Maccreaigh’s coffee wars will sound familiar. It’s not always coffee, of course.
In our church it was the parlor — a 75-year-old room that resembled nothing so much as a funeral home viewing room and was never used for anything for fear of offending the families whose progenitors had donated the furniture. When the trustees and a group of hospitality minded members decided to remodel the parlor into a welcome center with new, bright colors, café tables, and modern art, the war began.
It lasted about a month and included a three-page, hand written, anonymous letter to the pastor about how he was “killing this church with your liberalism and radical ideas,” and two families, neither of which were related to the founders of the original parlor, leaving the church not because they agreed with one side or the other but because “we just can’t worship in a church where people argue with one another.” (Oh, yeah. Good luck with that.)
I once saw a cartoon of a minister in an easy chair leaning over and pointing to a place on his arm. He’s saying to a small child who is looking at the arm: “I got this one in the choir wars of 1992 and 93. And this one is from the kitchen remodeling war of 1986. And this one…”
After 40 plus years in the ministry I have plenty of scars to show off. There was the church who worshiped in air-conditioned comfort but refused to air-condition the nursery because they had convinced themselves that air-conditioning is unhealthy for children. Then there was the board of trustees who cited cost as the reason to not set the parking lot lights to shine on weeknights so women in the church could feel safe walking to their cars. And there was the church that refused to let the youth fellowship put up a basketball goal on the edge of the parking lot for fear of being sued if someone got hurt shooting hoops.
All were wars fought in the church. And all leaving feelings hurt and forgiveness un-bestowed. A moment with this Sunday’s gospel lesson, however, might have shown us a better way.
Theological Math
In this week’s gospel lesson Jesus and Peter square off over the issue of forgiveness. Let’s walk through the passage and see what it has to offer us:
First, there is one word that jumps off the page and must be addressed and that word is “church.” Peter asks Jesus, “If another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive?”
“Another member of the church.”
Now, if Peter is really asking this of Jesus, the appropriate response would be, “The what?” Because there was no “church” when Jesus and Peter were alive. There were synagogues and temples, but those are not the words that are used here. The Greek word is clearly “ecclesia,” or “church.”
So, what we have here is Matthew letting some of his own agenda slip into the text. This passage is clearly written to address a specific issue that has come up in Matthew’s church, the early Christian church of Antioch in roughly AD 80-90. And the issue being addressed is conflict. There is conflict in the early church. (Conflict in the church? I’m shocked!) Some Christians’ feelings have been hurt by the behavior of other Christians and they have raised the issue of how much forgiveness is appropriate for such an offense?
This passage, then, is not about conflict in general but conflict within the Christian community, the church. It’s not about foreign policy or about business or war or anything like that. Jesus will address those subjects in other places. This passage, however, is about forgiveness in the context of the Christian church and Peter is the spokesperson for those Christians who have been hurt by other Christians.
So, Peter asks how often, or how many times he is expected, as a follower of Jesus, to forgive another follower of Jesus who has wronged him.
He understands that forgiveness is a necessary attribute of those who wish to live the Gospel life, but he is also pragmatic enough to understand that there are probably some limits to forgiveness. It’s not that he’s unwilling to forgive; he just wants to know for how long and how many times. That’s reasonable, right?
What’s a reasonable limit to forgiveness?
The traditional Jewish principle in the first century was that a person who shows remorse and repentance should be forgiven up to three times but not four. Peter more than doubles that number which would, to the original readers, seem extravagantly generous to the point of being silly. He’s obviously using hyperbole to show Jesus that he’s okay with grace even if it goes to unthinkable lengths. The reader’s expectation is that Jesus will say, “Yes, Peter. Seven is about right. That’s twice as many as the Jewish leaders advise us. That’s very generous and loving of you. Well done.”
But, instead, Jesus responds with a little math problem: Not seven times, but seventy times seven.
As a kid I imagined Peter stopping to do the math in his head, squinting, wrinkling his forehead, moving his lips as he thinks, maybe even writing the figures in the air with his index finger. Then:
“Wait a minute! That’s, uh, seventy-seven, no, wait… four hundred and ninety times! Are you kidding me? How am I supposed to keep track of that many?”
And then Jesus smiles and says, “Exactly, Peter. You aren’t.”
Jesus has turned the discussion on its head. It’s not about counting, Peter.
If you are counting, you aren’t really forgiving. You’re just biding your time, waiting for number 491 when you don’t have to forgive any more. Counting is just a way of delaying retribution. It leaves no room for grace and grace is the thing! Grace is what Jesus is trying to teach, here.
Whether the phrase is translated “seventy-seven” or “seventy times seven” (both are correct, depending on which early manuscript of Matthew you are reading) we’re now talking too many times to keep track of and that is Jesus’ point.
Those who live by grace don’t keep track.
Remembering to Forget
There’s a story about Hellen Keller that she was once at a party and a friend of hers saw her talking with a man who had done her a terrible wrong that had deeply hurt her. Later, the friend took her aside and asked her how she could speak to that terrible man who had caused her so much pain, and Hellen answered, “Oh, really? I had completely forgotten about that.”
Her friend responded that she didn’t believe her. “How could you possibly forget? That’s impossible.”
Hellen responded, “No. No, I distinctly remember forgetting about it.”
Now that’s grace. Well done, Hellen. Well done, indeed.
ILLUSTRATIONS
From team member Tom Willadsen:
Matthew 18:21-35
Forgiving you was easy, but forgetting….
Willie Nelson had a #1 Country hit in 1985 with a song he wrote and produced: “Forgiving You Was Easy.” It was the 10th biggest country hit of that year. It spins the familiar trope “Forgive and forget,” this way.
Forgiving you was easy
But forgetting seems to take the longest time
One verse begins, “Cause I believe forgiving/Is the only way I’ll find peace of mind.” Many people who have thought deeply about forgiveness have discovered that the forgiver benefits more than the forgiven. Willie sings of putting down the burden of carrying a grudge or sadness. He also sings, movingly, that isn’t easy, “it takes the longest time.”
* * *
Matthew 18:21-35
Keeping track, keeping score
This familiar exchange begins today’s gospel lesson.
Then Peter came and said to (Jesus), “Lord, if my brother or sister sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times. (New Revised Standard, Updated Edition) The footnote indicates that it may be seventy times seven.
A recent comic I saw pointed out an additional difficulty: Peter laments, “Great! Not only do I have to forgive my brother, now I have to do math!!”
Found the comic, but I do not have copyright!
* * *
Exodus 14:19-31
Which came first, faith or belief?
A wise tale from the Chassidic tradition: A woman came to the Belzer Rebbe entreating his help through prayer. He asked whether she had sufficient faith. Said she: “In the Torah it is written that God first rescued Israel and that then they believed.”
* * *
Exodus 15:1b-11, 20-21
The Song of Moses
Moses is credited as the author of three poems in the Bible: Today’s reading, Exodus 15:1b-18, Deuteronomy 32 and Psalm 90. Another name for this portion of Exodus is “Song of the Sea,” or Shirat ha-Yam, as transliterated. The Sabbath on which Exodus 15:1-18 is recited is called “Shabbat Shirah,” or “The Sabbath of Song.”
* * *
Exodus 15:1b-11, 20-21
The Song of Miriam
The song that Miriam sings matches Exodus 15:1b, the start of the song that Moses sang. The Song of Miriam is distinct because it specifically mentions all the women dancing. Clearly dance can be considered a sacred act of worship.
* * *
Exodus 15:1b-11, 20-21
A modern rendering
Once when telling the story of Israel passing through the Sea of Reeds to a confirmation class, I asked the students, “What song did they sing?” I was not expecting anyone to start “I will sing to the Lord….” Still, I was surprised, and delighted, when after a brief silence, one of the bolder students recalled Queen’s massive hit:
Duh! Duh! Duh! Another one bites the dust!
* * *
Exodus 15:1b-11, 20-21
What exactly are we celebrating?
From the Talmud: God does not rejoice at the death of sinners. On seeing the destruction of the Egyptians the angels wanted to break forth in song, but God silenced them saying: “The work of my hands is drowning in the sea, and you desire to sing songs!”
* * * * * *
From team member Quantisha Mason-Doll:
Matthew 18:21-35
Try Jesus. Don’t try me.
Tobe Nwigwe, an American rapper with Nigerian roots, skyrocketed to fame in mid-2020 with the release of his viral hit Try Jesus. The song is a melodic venture warning the listener to metaphorically try Jesus, not them because they have no problem laying them hands. For those not in the know, laying them hands translates to they fight. Tobe offers an out and the forgiveness of Jesus to the listener because he notes that he is not as kind as our savior.
Matthew’s Jesus is a kind man who kindly requests that we forgive not seven times but rather seventy-seven times. In an ideal world this would be something that is easily accomplished. Our savior models for us the perfect witness. Someone that places justice, kindness, and mercy before his own pride. We are shown that the process of forgiveness can be painful, exhausting, and downright humiliating, yet Jesus stood fast.
In the parable we see a king forgave a massive debt even though it brought a deep financial burden to not only himself but to the wider kingdom. Our king was willing to wipe the slate clean because he was asked for forgiveness. The one forgiven is not as kind when faced with the same plea. When the king hears of this slight, he is no longer the merciful one. He realizes in that moment that kindness does not always beget kindness — which brings us back to the opening line to Tobe Nwigwe’s song “Try Jesus, don’t try me.” Yes, it is true that Jesus requests that we forgive, yet Jesus realizes that there are limits to our ability to do so.
* * *
Matthew 18:21-35
Pride will be your downfall
Our pride can be our downfall. It is hard to forgive, and it is even harder to go unforgiven. In both cases the pain harbored does a number on the soul. Grace and forgiveness are not something to bargain with. Our parable teaches us that much. When one is given forgiveness freely it becomes their responsibility to pay that kindness forward. If they fail to do so they run the risk of breaking the trust instilled in them. Jesus teaches that we should not be haughty in our forgiveness, for we are one step removed from sinning again.
* * * * * *
From team member Katy Stenta:
Matthew 18:21-35
There is something comforting to me about the fact that God is the reckoner, the Great Accountant, the one who knows the number of all the stars and galaxies in the universe, all the the grains of sand on all the beaches, all the hairs on my head, all the mosquitoes on earth (especially after a rainy summer but I’m trying not to think about that) AND the fact that God does not count forgiveness that way. Here are us humans trying to count up forgivenesses like a tally in a bank. It adds new meaning to the idea of “forgive us our debts” because God charges no interest. To me, that is the most amazing part of God’s mercy and grace — there are no late fees or interest when we ask for forgiveness from God.
This is why the story Jesus tells is almost hilarious. Jesus is translating, putting God’s forgiveness into simplistic terms — numbers and money — so that our human brains can understand. But really God’s forgiveness is like a seed that grows wild. God’s forgiveness is like a market share that is bigger than bitcoin. It’s like a toddler who you just gave a cookie to and the child celebrates as all their wants and needs have been fulfilled. I love how Jesus talks to us like an accountant because that is what we need. However, I also like to think he chuckled a bit at the end and thought, you humans are so adorable with your numbers, even as he numbered the stars.
* * *
Genesis 50:15-21
As Joseph is one of the queer characters in the Bible — wearing a lady’s coat — which we obscured with a rainbow one (God’s sense of humor is beautiful), I love to think about how God uses his ministry even though he is kicked out of his family and his country. If you look today at all of the ministry of the LGBTQIA clergy and laypeople it is truly remarkable.
* * * * * *
From team member Chris Keating:
Exodus 14:19-31 or Matthew 18:21-35
Tossing our sins into the sea
This Sunday’s theme of God’s faithfulness in giving the covenant and forgiving sins provides an interesting connection to the Jewish High Holy Days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Rosh Hashanah, the start of the Jewish new year, begins at sundown on Friday, September 15. Among the traditions associated with Rosh Hashanah is “taschlich,” a symbolic tossing of sins into a body of water. (Find out more about Rosh Hashanah here.) Taschlich, which means “to cast,” is an ancient custom that includes reciting scripture and symbolically casting off the crumbs of sin that cling to our bodies. The shaking of garments symbolizes letting go of sin in order to start the new year on a clean slate.
Some Jewish communities have begun practicing a “reverse Tashlich,” which involves removing pollution from bodies of water. Last week, over a 110 volunteers of all ages participated in a reverse Tashlich in Boca Raton, Florida. Leaders of the B’nai Torah Congregation said they were part of a movement of more than 200 Jewish communities in 12 countries to adapt the ancient ritual to earth care practices.
* * *
Romans 14:1-12
We do not live for ourselves
Paul insists that the Christian community is centered around mutual support and assistance instead of the pursuit of individuality at all costs. Our increased sense of nationalism, xenophobia, and distrust of neighbors makes following Paul’s admonitions difficult. An interesting example of this comes from the experience of a surgeon who was among the first doctors to respond to the 9/11 attacks 22 years ago in New York City.
Navinder Singh Nijher, then a resident at a Brooklyn Hospital, was in a meeting with medical colleagues when they witnessed the planes crash into the World Trade Center. Nijher and another colleague volunteered to assist at Ground Zero where they went to work searching for survivors. Days later, however, the feelings of unity she experienced changed into expressions of hatred. Nijher, who is a Sikh, would routinely experience insults and racial slurs. “Within 24 hours, I went from nobody judging me or questioning why I was helping on Ground Zero — including policemen, firefighters and doctors — to walking down the street and people feeling hatred toward me and seeing me as the enemy,” he told Religious News Service.
He believes that the “social fabric of the United States” improved in the years following 9/11, only to become noticeably weaker today.
“The main thing I noticed after 9/11 is that there was a sense of unity in the country. This lasted for a number of years despite other conflicts that we were involved in as a country. In the past few years, I feel we have taken a collective step back and have gone back into our individual silos once again. So much of the progress that was made after 9/11 has been lost, and I hope we can change that momentum and begin creating that sense of unity again.”
* * *
Matthew 18:21-35
Going beyond the minimum
Filmmaker Ben Proudfoot recently released a short documentary, Forgiving Johnny, which tells the story of Johnny Reyes, a young California man with cognitive disabilities who was facing up to 20 years of prison time for an altercation he had with a man who was a father figure to him. Reyes was assigned to public defender Noah Cox, who was part of a pilot project aimed at helping persons with cognitive disabilities convicted of crimes to be diverted into treatment programs rather than incarceration. “Most Americans who I've met put a high value on second chances and forgiveness and are not punitive people,” Proudfoot says. “And yet the system is highly punitive.”
Cox notes that the effort to assist persons with intellectual disabilities involves “little efforts” from many people, not unlike the communal processes of reconciliation outlined by Jesus in Matthew 18. “The number one thing I learned was how much change can be accomplished by small actions from many people who are united in their purpose,” Cox told Time magazine. “I don’t think Johnny would be doing nearly so well without everyone’s dedication — I know it means so much to him that everyone is rooting for him.”
When asked, “What does the word grace mean to you in a case like this?” Cox replied with words similar to Jesus’ parable in Matthew 18:21-35:
The situation in Johnny’s case demonstrated the system at its finest. From the judge, the prosecutor, the probation department, the treatment professionals — everyone did more than necessary to ensure that Johnny was given the most appropriate considerations. The law instructs people on their minimum expectations, but the system can only achieve grace when people go beyond the bare minimum.
* * * * * *
WORSHIP
by George Reed
Call to Worship
One: God brings out of slavery to our fears and sins.
All: We have become the sanctuary of the Most High.
One: The sea looks at the greatness of God’s work and flees.
All: The mountains are in awe of what God does in us.
One: The whole creation trembles at the presence of our God
All: Who turns rock into pools of water, flint into a spring.
OR
One: Bless God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.
All: We bless our God and remember God’s goodness to us.
One: It is God who forgives all our iniquity.
All: God crowns us with steadfast love and mercy.
One: God is merciful and gracious, abounding in steadfast love.
All: God’s steadfast love is as great as the highest heavens.
OR
One: God offers us the gift of forgiveness.
All: We are in need of the forgiveness of God.
One: The gift also includes the gift of forgiving others.
All: We receive this gift and offer it to others.
One: God’s atonement makes us one with God and with others.
All: We celebrate God’s grace and gladly share it.
Hymns and Songs
There’s a Wideness in God’s Mercy
UMH: 121
H82: 469/470
PH: 298
GTG: 435
NCH: 23
CH: 73
LBW: 290
ELW: 587/588
W&P: 61
AMEC: 78
STLT: 213
From All That Dwell Below the Skies
UMH: 101
H82: 380
PH: 229
GTG: 327
NCH: 27
CH: 49
LBW: 550
AMEC: 69
STLT: 381
The King of Love My Shepherd Is
UMH: 138
H82: 645/646
PH: 171
GTG: 802
NCH: 248
LBW: 456
ELW: 502
Renew: 106
Forgive Our Sins as We Forgive
UMH: 390
H82: 674
PH: 347
GTG: 444
LBW: 307
ELW: 605
W&P: 382
Renew: 184
Help Us Accept Each Other
UMH: 560
PH: 358
GTG: 754
NCH: 388
CH: 487
W&P: 596
AMEC: 558
Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing
UMH: 400
H82: 686
PH: 356
GTG: 475
AAHH: 175
NNBH: 166
NCH: 459
CH: 16
LBW: 499
ELW: 807
W&P: 68
AMEC: 77
STLT: 126
Jesu, Jesu
UMH: 432
H82: 602
PH: 367
GTG: 203
NCH: 498
CH: 600
ELW: 708
W&P: 273
Renew: 289
O God of Every Nation
UMH: 435
H82: 607
PH: 289
GTG: 756
CH: 680
LBW: 416
ELW: 713
W&P: 626
Let There Be Light
UMH: 440
NNBH: 450
NCH: 589
STLT: 142
Lord, You Give the Great Commission
UMH: 584
H82: 528
PH: 429
GTG: 298
CH: 459
ELW: 579
W&P: 592
Renew: 305
Sweet, Sweet Spirit
CCB: 7
Only by Grace
CCB: 42
Music Resources Key
UMH: United Methodist Hymnal
H82: The Hymnal 1982
PH: Presbyterian Hymnal
GTG: Glory to God, The Presbyterian Hymnal
AAHH: African American Heritage Hymnal
NNBH: The New National Baptist Hymnal
NCH: The New Century Hymnal
CH: Chalice Hymnal
LBW: Lutheran Book of Worship
ELW: Evangelical Lutheran Worship
W&P: Worship & Praise
AMEC: African Methodist Episcopal Church Hymnal
STLT: Singing the Living Tradition
CCB: Cokesbury Chorus Book
Renew: Renew! Songs & Hymns for Blended Worship
Prayer for the Day/Collect
O God who removes our sins as far as the east is from the west:
Grant us the grace to forgive others who sin against us
and to seek their forgiveness for our faults;
through Jesus Christ our Savior. Amen.
OR
We praise you, O God, because you remove our sins as far as the east is from the west. You are gracious and merciful to your children. Help us to also be gracious and merciful and to forgive those who wrong us. Help us to be willing to seek forgiveness when we do wrong, as well. Amen.
Prayer of Confession
One: Let us confess to God and before one another our sins and especially our failure to forgive and to seek forgiveness from others.
All: We confess to you, O God, and before one another that we have sinned. We have sinned and you have forgiven us but we are slow to forgive others who have wronged us. We hold on to our grudges and hatred. We separate ourselves from others and we do not seek healing for our broken relationships. When we have hurt others instead of seeking forgivingness, we assign blame to the one we wronged. Forgive us once again and instill in us a spirit of forgiveness that reflects your own. Amen.
One: God is forgiving and delights when we reflect that spirit in our relationships with others. Receive God’s grace and be gracious to all.
Prayers of the People
We worship and adore you, O God of mercy and forgiveness. You are gracious and filled with loving kindness. Your mercy is from everlasting to everlasting.
(The following paragraph may be used if a separate prayer of confession has not been used.)
We confess to you, O God, and before one another that we have sinned. We have sinned and you have forgiven us but we are slow to forgive others who have wronged us. We hold on to our grudges and hatred. We separate ourselves from others and we do not seek healing for our broken relationships. When we have hurt others instead of seeking forgivingness, we assign blame to the one we wronged. Forgive us once again and instill in us a spirit of forgiveness that reflects your own.
We thank you for the blessings you heap upon us. They are abundant. We thank you for your forgiveness and grace. We thank you for the ways in which our burdens are lightened when we also are forgiving. We thank you for making us one family of humankind. Thank you for those who remind us of our solidarity with all your children.
(Other thanksgivings may be offered.)
We pray for one another in our need. We pray for those we have wronged and for those we feel have wronged us. We pray for those who are locked in hatred and violence over perceived or actual wrongs. We pray for those who suffer because of the violence around them.
(Other intercessions may be offered.)
Hear us as we pray for others: (Time for silent or spoken prayer.)
All these things we ask in the name of our Savior Jesus Christ who taught us to pray saying:
Our Father....Amen.
(Or if the Our Father is not used at this point in the service.)
All this we ask in the name of the Blessed and Holy Trinity. Amen.
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CHILDREN'S SERMON
Made From the Same Stuff
by Elena Delhagen
Romans 14:1-12
You will need three containers of Play-Doh in different colors.
Good morning, friends! It is so wonderful to see you here in church today! Speaking of church, I have a question for you: When you think of church, what kinds of things come to mind? (Allow a few moments for answers.)
Yes, all of those are wonderful things that remind us of church! Now, I have another question: Let’s pretend maybe you went to a different church one Sunday, one you’d never been to. Do you think it would be the same as this church? (Allow a few moments for answers.)
Correct! It would not be exactly the same. What kinds of things do you think might be different? (Allow a few moments for answers.)
You know, I’ve been to lots of different churches in my life, and each one was a little bit different! I’ve been to some churches that have loud music or where people might dance or clap. I’ve been to some churches that are quiet, where we kneel or bow a lot. I’ve been to churches that have male pastors and I’ve been to churches that have female pastors. And some churches might decorate differently or maybe even use different words when they’re praying.
But the thing is, even though all those churches were different from one another — they also had a lot of things that were the same! For example, even if the prayers were different, we were still praying to God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. And whether it was a male or a female preaching the sermon, they would still use the same Bible. All of those churches were still worshiping God, even if it looked differently from one church to another.
(Take out one container of Play-Doh, rolling it and molding it a bit.) It’s kind of like this Play-Doh right here. This Play-Doh is soft, and smooth, and I can use it to...let’s see here…roll it into a nice little ball! There we go. Now I have a (insert color here) ball made out of Play-Doh. (Set it down and pick up another container of Play-Doh, rolling it and molding it a bit.)
But then I have this Play-Doh here. It’s a different color…hmmm…and I’m going to use it to make…a flat pancake! So, first I made a (insert color here) ball, and now I made a (insert color here) pancake.
(Set it down and pick up another container of Play-Doh, rolling it and molding it a bit.) Then I have this Play-Doh! This is a different color from the other two, isn’t it? I’m going to roll this out and make a nice, long, squiggle line with this Play-Doh! Look at that! First I made a (insert color here) ball, and then I made a (insert color here) pancake, and now I made a (insert color here) squiggle line. These all look so different from one another, don’t they? But even though they are different in some ways, they’re also the same. They’re all Play-Doh! They’re all made out of the same thing! (Set the Play-Doh down.)
That’s kind of what God’s church is like. It’s made up of all sorts of different people with different skin colors and hair colors, who speak different languages or come from different places. We all worship God in different ways, too! Some people might sing or clap really loud, or some people might pray quietly, or some people might laugh or cry — we’re all so different!
But even though we’re different, we’re also the same. Just like the Play-Doh. We’re all made out of the same stuff. We’re all created by God, loved by God, and called by God. Back in the early church, not too long after Jesus died and rose again, there were lots of Christians who would gather to worship God, and you know what? They all worshiped in different ways. And some people started saying, “You can’t do that! You have to worship God the way that I do, or else you’re not really a Christian!”
But the Apostle Paul said that it was okay to be different and to worship God and follow God in different ways. Because at the end of the day, we’re all made from the same stuff. God cares way more about what’s on the inside, in our hearts, than about what we do or say when we come to church.
(End in prayer, thanking God that we are made in beautiful diversity and that we have things in common, especially that we are loved and called by God.)
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The Immediate Word, September 17, 2023 issue.
Copyright 2023 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to The Immediate Word service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons and in worship and classroom settings only. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., 5450 N. Dixie Highway, Lima, Ohio 45807.
- You Want Too Much, Jesus by Mary Austin. What level of forgiveness do we owe to the wider world, and are there any loopholes?
- Second Thoughts: Forgiveness In The Church Wars by Dean Feldmeyer based on Matthew 18:21-35
- Sermon illustrations by Tom Willadsen, Katy Stenta, Chris Keating, Quantisha Mason-Doll.
- Worship resources by George Reed.
- Children's sermon: Made From the Same Stuff by Elena Delhagen based on Romans 14:1-12.
You Want Too Much, Jesusby Mary Austin
Matthew 18:21-35
“Ignorant people avenge,” the flashing sign at the diner said, interspersed with “Coffee, eggs and toast: $4.00.” “Strong people forgive” was the next message, followed by another breakfast special. Finally, “Wise people ignore.”
Watching the curious mix of advice plus breakfast specials kept me thinking until my food arrived. I was on board with “strong people forgive,” and yet “wise people ignore” felt like a free pass for bad behavior.
This week Jesus has a demanding word about how often we need to forgive others, and he has me wondering if he’s asking too much of us. His original word is for people joined together in a community of faith. Do we have to apply it to everyone in our lives, too?
In the News
A trip through the headlines raises the question of whether everything should be forgiven.
In the midst of the war with Russia, Elon Musk turned off his company’s Starlink satellite service at a crucial moment for Ukraine. Musk said “he hadn’t disabled the service but had rather refused to comply with an emergency request from Ukrainian officials to enable Starlink connections to Sevastopol on the occupied Crimean peninsula. That was in effect an acknowledgment that he had made the decision to prevent a Ukrainian attack.” Should interference from a private business owner be forgiven by a country under siege by a larger power?
Head football coach Mel Tucker of Michigan State University has been suspended without pay for alleged sexual misconduct against an anti-rape activist. Cynical football fans might wonder if he would have been suspended if he had a winning season last year. Others speculate that the school might be glad to get a huge chunk of the coach’s multimillion dollar contract back.
Michigan State “has continued to face scrutiny over its past handling of sexual abuse allegations against Larry Nassar, the former Michigan State University and USA Gymnastics doctor who abused hundreds of young girls and women. At Nassar’s sentencing in Michigan in 2018, dozens of women came forward with stories of his abuse and the ways Michigan State University ignored their claims and enabled his actions. The university agreed to pay $500 million to settle lawsuits brought by 332 victims.”
Is it right to ask these women to forgive the university?
Forgiving people with whom we have a relationship is hard enough. Do our obligations extend even more widely?
In the Scriptures
An unfortunate division in the lectionary severs the first verse of this passage from the instructions right before it. Instead of a new thought, this is Jesus’ last word in his conversation about disagreements between the believers. He ends the practical advice with this instruction to forgive more times than we can count. His challenge, as part of the lesson about disputes between members of a community, is for people who are connected to each other.
He illustrates his message with this parable about the servant who receives mercy and then fails to pass it on. The contrast invites us to think about where forgiveness flows in and out of our lives, and where it gets stuck. The servant receives grace for a very large debt, and then is harsh with a fellow servant about a much smaller debt. Initially, the servant asks for more time to come up with money to pay the huge debt, and, instead the king forgives the debt. He gets much more than he asks for. Still, he can’t manage to extend the same grace to the person who mirrors his predicament.
The king holds all the power in the parable, and his actions are inspiring. The servant, who has some power, acts with far less kindness. The parable invites us to consider how we extend forgiveness, or refuse to share it, in our own lives.
In the Sermon
As Jesus talks about forgiveness here, he’s talking to people who have a relationship in a faith community. Forgiveness prevents rupture in the group. When we step outside these bonds, we’re not obligated to hold onto a relationship. Or there may be no connection at all. The sermon might look at the selfish side of forgiveness. Even if we don’t care about the relationship, even when the trust is broken and we’re never going back, there’s still a practical value to forgiving.
In his new book, Trust, Henry Cloud proposes that we forgive people for our own spiritual health, not for the benefit of the other party. He writes, “Unforgiveness can turn you into a bitter, vengeful person. It causes you to lose aspects of your soul and life to the person who betrayed you. As long as you hold on to what wrong they did, they still own you. As I heard someone say once, “When you remain angry, you are just a character in someone else’s story.” When you let go and forgive, you are free to write your own story.”
He adds, "Forgiveness cleans out the past so you can evaluate what you want to do with the future. Just because you forgive someone does not mean you trust them. Forgiveness is free. It’s something you grant a person for no reason having anything to do with them. You do it for your own good, so you can move beyond the pain of what they did to you." The sermon might explore forgiveness as a path into the future.
Or, the sermon could examine the call to forgiveness as a mirror. In my own life, the people I find most difficult are the people who show me an ugly, unwanted side of myself. In the parable, the servant fails to show grace to someone who reminds him of his own failings. We do the same. The sermon could invite us to examine where we find it hard to forgive. It could also explore how differently we feel about forgiveness when we’re receiving it, or giving it.
Or, the sermon could delve into the connection between power and forgiveness, also hinted at in the parable. As Henry Cloud notes in Trust, “Anger points us to a problem…We need to get past anger for our own good, and for the hope of anything good ever happening. As it is expressed adequately, and then healing of the wound happens and power is regained, the anger diminishes.” Do we forgive more readily when we have power? Do we hold onto anger when we feel powerless? Is Jesus’ instruction in Matthew 18 a way of regaining agency for the person who has been wronged?
Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg, who has written extensively on repentance, repair, and forgiveness, notes that we confuse the three. For Jewish people, she says, the emphasis is on repentance, not forgiveness. “If I’m doing internal work and not actually making amends, then I’m not doing complete repentance work. If I’m not apologizing to the person I harmed and attending to their material, emotional or spiritual needs, then that’s not repentance work. I’m not doing the active things to repair the hole in the cosmos I created…”
Ruttenberg adds, “forgiveness can be deeply internal. You don’t always have to forgive. Repentance can happen without being forgiven. And even if you forgive the person who harmed you, you can choose never to tell them. Nothing says that you’re obligated to let the other person know.” The sermon could explore different kinds of forgiveness — anything from forgiveness and a new relationship to forgiveness and no relationship.
There is no one-size-fits-all in the realm of forgiveness. No matter what the neon sign at the diner says!
SECOND THOUGHTSForgiveness In The Church Wars
by Dean Feldmeyer
Matthew 18:21-35
Unforgiven
In week one of NCAA football the Duke Blue Devils soundly defeated the No. 9 ranked Clemson Tigers in a 27-8 upset. Duke’s junior quarterback Riley Leonard passed for 175 yards and rushed for 98 yards and a touchdown in Duke's win, then sent an extension request to his professor via the postgame media availability.
"Professor Taylor,” Riley pleaded into the camera, “If you're seeing this, please let me turn in my homework late because it's due at 12, and it may already be 12.”
The following day, Professor Donald Taylor replied with his own video on the platform formerly known as Twitter, reminding Leonard that the linemen who were in the class prepared and did the assignment ahead of time, “so why didn't the quarterback?” Then he added, “So, no way man, no extension.”
Think of Professor Taylor as Santa Clause and Quarterback Leonard as a child asking for a specific present, in this case, forgiveness for not turning the assignment in on time. Sadly, our hero has not been a “good little boy,” an eventuality wherein the gift would not have been necessary or requested, and so, the gift is withheld.
Because forgiveness is, after all, a gift.
In his 1992, Academy Award winning film Unforgiven, Clint Eastwood plays a character named Bill Munny, a retired gunman who is described in the prologue and postscript as “a known thief and murderer, a man of notoriously vicious and intemperate disposition.” We are led to believe, however, that he was persuaded to leave that violent life by his wife, a woman who forgave his past and chose to love him in spite of it but has recently died from smallpox. A farmer, mired in grief, depression, and anger, he is left alone to raise his children but unable to bring himself to do even the simplest of farm chores.
Then, one day, a prostitute from a town some miles away shows up at his door. Her face has been hideously disfigured by a drunken, knife wielding cowboy and she and the other girls in the house have collected enough money to pay Bill to return to his old profession and kill the cowboy.
They have no intention of letting go of the injustice they have suffered and forgiving the cowboy. And fate, it seems, has no intention of forgiving Bill and letting him let go of his past. Desperate for money to care for his family and a failure at farming, Bill reluctantly agrees to return to the only work he does so well.
The town where the prostitutes work, however, is a seething pit of corruption, violence, and criminality and his reputation has preceded him. Before Bill can return to his family he will have to deal with a self-righteous, sadistic sheriff, a homicidal bounty hunter, a pitiless citizenry, and the inability of anyone, including himself, to bestow forgiveness, which is, after all, a gift.
When we speak of forgiveness, we tend to turn the camera of our consciousness outward to the world and it is good that we do so. Should we forgive this politician, or that criminal, or this abusive clergyperson or coach or grifter?
The gospel text for today, however, turns the camera inward, to the church. The topic before us on this Sunday is how the gift of forgiveness is bestowed or withheld within the community of faith.
The Great Church Parlor War Of 2017
“If the North American Christian church goes extinct — it won’t, but bear with me — it won’t be marauding infidels or nationalistic idolatries that do it. It will be coffee creamer.” — Rev. Erica Maccreaigh.
Rev. Maccreaigh goes on, in her article for The Christian Century magazine (Sept. 2023) to draw out how coffee and coffee creamer and how they are provided for the church’s Sunday coffee hour are often metaphors for the small, picky, unimportant things that divide congregations.
It’s not, it turns out, that one brand of coffee is that much better than another so much as it is that someone committed the unforgivable faux pas of changing the brands without first consulting with the coffee committee. Same with the creamer. This slight, this insult cannot be tolerated as cannot the refusal of the coffee committee to even consider a different, fair-trade kind of coffee that was offered by these rogue, woke coffee providers. War, as you can imagine, ensues and it is the pastor who is co-opted into the triangle of conflict and wounded by fire from both sides.
Join a church and participate enthusiastically in it for more than a couple of years and Pastor Maccreaigh’s coffee wars will sound familiar. It’s not always coffee, of course.
In our church it was the parlor — a 75-year-old room that resembled nothing so much as a funeral home viewing room and was never used for anything for fear of offending the families whose progenitors had donated the furniture. When the trustees and a group of hospitality minded members decided to remodel the parlor into a welcome center with new, bright colors, café tables, and modern art, the war began.
It lasted about a month and included a three-page, hand written, anonymous letter to the pastor about how he was “killing this church with your liberalism and radical ideas,” and two families, neither of which were related to the founders of the original parlor, leaving the church not because they agreed with one side or the other but because “we just can’t worship in a church where people argue with one another.” (Oh, yeah. Good luck with that.)
I once saw a cartoon of a minister in an easy chair leaning over and pointing to a place on his arm. He’s saying to a small child who is looking at the arm: “I got this one in the choir wars of 1992 and 93. And this one is from the kitchen remodeling war of 1986. And this one…”
After 40 plus years in the ministry I have plenty of scars to show off. There was the church who worshiped in air-conditioned comfort but refused to air-condition the nursery because they had convinced themselves that air-conditioning is unhealthy for children. Then there was the board of trustees who cited cost as the reason to not set the parking lot lights to shine on weeknights so women in the church could feel safe walking to their cars. And there was the church that refused to let the youth fellowship put up a basketball goal on the edge of the parking lot for fear of being sued if someone got hurt shooting hoops.
All were wars fought in the church. And all leaving feelings hurt and forgiveness un-bestowed. A moment with this Sunday’s gospel lesson, however, might have shown us a better way.
Theological Math
In this week’s gospel lesson Jesus and Peter square off over the issue of forgiveness. Let’s walk through the passage and see what it has to offer us:
First, there is one word that jumps off the page and must be addressed and that word is “church.” Peter asks Jesus, “If another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive?”
“Another member of the church.”
Now, if Peter is really asking this of Jesus, the appropriate response would be, “The what?” Because there was no “church” when Jesus and Peter were alive. There were synagogues and temples, but those are not the words that are used here. The Greek word is clearly “ecclesia,” or “church.”
So, what we have here is Matthew letting some of his own agenda slip into the text. This passage is clearly written to address a specific issue that has come up in Matthew’s church, the early Christian church of Antioch in roughly AD 80-90. And the issue being addressed is conflict. There is conflict in the early church. (Conflict in the church? I’m shocked!) Some Christians’ feelings have been hurt by the behavior of other Christians and they have raised the issue of how much forgiveness is appropriate for such an offense?
This passage, then, is not about conflict in general but conflict within the Christian community, the church. It’s not about foreign policy or about business or war or anything like that. Jesus will address those subjects in other places. This passage, however, is about forgiveness in the context of the Christian church and Peter is the spokesperson for those Christians who have been hurt by other Christians.
So, Peter asks how often, or how many times he is expected, as a follower of Jesus, to forgive another follower of Jesus who has wronged him.
He understands that forgiveness is a necessary attribute of those who wish to live the Gospel life, but he is also pragmatic enough to understand that there are probably some limits to forgiveness. It’s not that he’s unwilling to forgive; he just wants to know for how long and how many times. That’s reasonable, right?
What’s a reasonable limit to forgiveness?
The traditional Jewish principle in the first century was that a person who shows remorse and repentance should be forgiven up to three times but not four. Peter more than doubles that number which would, to the original readers, seem extravagantly generous to the point of being silly. He’s obviously using hyperbole to show Jesus that he’s okay with grace even if it goes to unthinkable lengths. The reader’s expectation is that Jesus will say, “Yes, Peter. Seven is about right. That’s twice as many as the Jewish leaders advise us. That’s very generous and loving of you. Well done.”
But, instead, Jesus responds with a little math problem: Not seven times, but seventy times seven.
As a kid I imagined Peter stopping to do the math in his head, squinting, wrinkling his forehead, moving his lips as he thinks, maybe even writing the figures in the air with his index finger. Then:
“Wait a minute! That’s, uh, seventy-seven, no, wait… four hundred and ninety times! Are you kidding me? How am I supposed to keep track of that many?”
And then Jesus smiles and says, “Exactly, Peter. You aren’t.”
Jesus has turned the discussion on its head. It’s not about counting, Peter.
If you are counting, you aren’t really forgiving. You’re just biding your time, waiting for number 491 when you don’t have to forgive any more. Counting is just a way of delaying retribution. It leaves no room for grace and grace is the thing! Grace is what Jesus is trying to teach, here.
Whether the phrase is translated “seventy-seven” or “seventy times seven” (both are correct, depending on which early manuscript of Matthew you are reading) we’re now talking too many times to keep track of and that is Jesus’ point.
Those who live by grace don’t keep track.
Remembering to Forget
There’s a story about Hellen Keller that she was once at a party and a friend of hers saw her talking with a man who had done her a terrible wrong that had deeply hurt her. Later, the friend took her aside and asked her how she could speak to that terrible man who had caused her so much pain, and Hellen answered, “Oh, really? I had completely forgotten about that.”
Her friend responded that she didn’t believe her. “How could you possibly forget? That’s impossible.”
Hellen responded, “No. No, I distinctly remember forgetting about it.”
Now that’s grace. Well done, Hellen. Well done, indeed.
ILLUSTRATIONS
From team member Tom Willadsen:Matthew 18:21-35
Forgiving you was easy, but forgetting….
Willie Nelson had a #1 Country hit in 1985 with a song he wrote and produced: “Forgiving You Was Easy.” It was the 10th biggest country hit of that year. It spins the familiar trope “Forgive and forget,” this way.
Forgiving you was easy
But forgetting seems to take the longest time
One verse begins, “Cause I believe forgiving/Is the only way I’ll find peace of mind.” Many people who have thought deeply about forgiveness have discovered that the forgiver benefits more than the forgiven. Willie sings of putting down the burden of carrying a grudge or sadness. He also sings, movingly, that isn’t easy, “it takes the longest time.”
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Matthew 18:21-35
Keeping track, keeping score
This familiar exchange begins today’s gospel lesson.
Then Peter came and said to (Jesus), “Lord, if my brother or sister sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times. (New Revised Standard, Updated Edition) The footnote indicates that it may be seventy times seven.
A recent comic I saw pointed out an additional difficulty: Peter laments, “Great! Not only do I have to forgive my brother, now I have to do math!!”
Found the comic, but I do not have copyright!
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Exodus 14:19-31
Which came first, faith or belief?
A wise tale from the Chassidic tradition: A woman came to the Belzer Rebbe entreating his help through prayer. He asked whether she had sufficient faith. Said she: “In the Torah it is written that God first rescued Israel and that then they believed.”
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Exodus 15:1b-11, 20-21
The Song of Moses
Moses is credited as the author of three poems in the Bible: Today’s reading, Exodus 15:1b-18, Deuteronomy 32 and Psalm 90. Another name for this portion of Exodus is “Song of the Sea,” or Shirat ha-Yam, as transliterated. The Sabbath on which Exodus 15:1-18 is recited is called “Shabbat Shirah,” or “The Sabbath of Song.”
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Exodus 15:1b-11, 20-21
The Song of Miriam
The song that Miriam sings matches Exodus 15:1b, the start of the song that Moses sang. The Song of Miriam is distinct because it specifically mentions all the women dancing. Clearly dance can be considered a sacred act of worship.
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Exodus 15:1b-11, 20-21
A modern rendering
Once when telling the story of Israel passing through the Sea of Reeds to a confirmation class, I asked the students, “What song did they sing?” I was not expecting anyone to start “I will sing to the Lord….” Still, I was surprised, and delighted, when after a brief silence, one of the bolder students recalled Queen’s massive hit:
Duh! Duh! Duh! Another one bites the dust!
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Exodus 15:1b-11, 20-21
What exactly are we celebrating?
From the Talmud: God does not rejoice at the death of sinners. On seeing the destruction of the Egyptians the angels wanted to break forth in song, but God silenced them saying: “The work of my hands is drowning in the sea, and you desire to sing songs!”
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From team member Quantisha Mason-Doll:Matthew 18:21-35
Try Jesus. Don’t try me.
Tobe Nwigwe, an American rapper with Nigerian roots, skyrocketed to fame in mid-2020 with the release of his viral hit Try Jesus. The song is a melodic venture warning the listener to metaphorically try Jesus, not them because they have no problem laying them hands. For those not in the know, laying them hands translates to they fight. Tobe offers an out and the forgiveness of Jesus to the listener because he notes that he is not as kind as our savior.
Matthew’s Jesus is a kind man who kindly requests that we forgive not seven times but rather seventy-seven times. In an ideal world this would be something that is easily accomplished. Our savior models for us the perfect witness. Someone that places justice, kindness, and mercy before his own pride. We are shown that the process of forgiveness can be painful, exhausting, and downright humiliating, yet Jesus stood fast.
In the parable we see a king forgave a massive debt even though it brought a deep financial burden to not only himself but to the wider kingdom. Our king was willing to wipe the slate clean because he was asked for forgiveness. The one forgiven is not as kind when faced with the same plea. When the king hears of this slight, he is no longer the merciful one. He realizes in that moment that kindness does not always beget kindness — which brings us back to the opening line to Tobe Nwigwe’s song “Try Jesus, don’t try me.” Yes, it is true that Jesus requests that we forgive, yet Jesus realizes that there are limits to our ability to do so.
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Matthew 18:21-35
Pride will be your downfall
Our pride can be our downfall. It is hard to forgive, and it is even harder to go unforgiven. In both cases the pain harbored does a number on the soul. Grace and forgiveness are not something to bargain with. Our parable teaches us that much. When one is given forgiveness freely it becomes their responsibility to pay that kindness forward. If they fail to do so they run the risk of breaking the trust instilled in them. Jesus teaches that we should not be haughty in our forgiveness, for we are one step removed from sinning again.
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From team member Katy Stenta:Matthew 18:21-35
There is something comforting to me about the fact that God is the reckoner, the Great Accountant, the one who knows the number of all the stars and galaxies in the universe, all the the grains of sand on all the beaches, all the hairs on my head, all the mosquitoes on earth (especially after a rainy summer but I’m trying not to think about that) AND the fact that God does not count forgiveness that way. Here are us humans trying to count up forgivenesses like a tally in a bank. It adds new meaning to the idea of “forgive us our debts” because God charges no interest. To me, that is the most amazing part of God’s mercy and grace — there are no late fees or interest when we ask for forgiveness from God.
This is why the story Jesus tells is almost hilarious. Jesus is translating, putting God’s forgiveness into simplistic terms — numbers and money — so that our human brains can understand. But really God’s forgiveness is like a seed that grows wild. God’s forgiveness is like a market share that is bigger than bitcoin. It’s like a toddler who you just gave a cookie to and the child celebrates as all their wants and needs have been fulfilled. I love how Jesus talks to us like an accountant because that is what we need. However, I also like to think he chuckled a bit at the end and thought, you humans are so adorable with your numbers, even as he numbered the stars.
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Genesis 50:15-21
As Joseph is one of the queer characters in the Bible — wearing a lady’s coat — which we obscured with a rainbow one (God’s sense of humor is beautiful), I love to think about how God uses his ministry even though he is kicked out of his family and his country. If you look today at all of the ministry of the LGBTQIA clergy and laypeople it is truly remarkable.
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From team member Chris Keating:Exodus 14:19-31 or Matthew 18:21-35
Tossing our sins into the sea
This Sunday’s theme of God’s faithfulness in giving the covenant and forgiving sins provides an interesting connection to the Jewish High Holy Days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Rosh Hashanah, the start of the Jewish new year, begins at sundown on Friday, September 15. Among the traditions associated with Rosh Hashanah is “taschlich,” a symbolic tossing of sins into a body of water. (Find out more about Rosh Hashanah here.) Taschlich, which means “to cast,” is an ancient custom that includes reciting scripture and symbolically casting off the crumbs of sin that cling to our bodies. The shaking of garments symbolizes letting go of sin in order to start the new year on a clean slate.
Some Jewish communities have begun practicing a “reverse Tashlich,” which involves removing pollution from bodies of water. Last week, over a 110 volunteers of all ages participated in a reverse Tashlich in Boca Raton, Florida. Leaders of the B’nai Torah Congregation said they were part of a movement of more than 200 Jewish communities in 12 countries to adapt the ancient ritual to earth care practices.
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Romans 14:1-12
We do not live for ourselves
Paul insists that the Christian community is centered around mutual support and assistance instead of the pursuit of individuality at all costs. Our increased sense of nationalism, xenophobia, and distrust of neighbors makes following Paul’s admonitions difficult. An interesting example of this comes from the experience of a surgeon who was among the first doctors to respond to the 9/11 attacks 22 years ago in New York City.
Navinder Singh Nijher, then a resident at a Brooklyn Hospital, was in a meeting with medical colleagues when they witnessed the planes crash into the World Trade Center. Nijher and another colleague volunteered to assist at Ground Zero where they went to work searching for survivors. Days later, however, the feelings of unity she experienced changed into expressions of hatred. Nijher, who is a Sikh, would routinely experience insults and racial slurs. “Within 24 hours, I went from nobody judging me or questioning why I was helping on Ground Zero — including policemen, firefighters and doctors — to walking down the street and people feeling hatred toward me and seeing me as the enemy,” he told Religious News Service.
He believes that the “social fabric of the United States” improved in the years following 9/11, only to become noticeably weaker today.
“The main thing I noticed after 9/11 is that there was a sense of unity in the country. This lasted for a number of years despite other conflicts that we were involved in as a country. In the past few years, I feel we have taken a collective step back and have gone back into our individual silos once again. So much of the progress that was made after 9/11 has been lost, and I hope we can change that momentum and begin creating that sense of unity again.”
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Matthew 18:21-35
Going beyond the minimum
Filmmaker Ben Proudfoot recently released a short documentary, Forgiving Johnny, which tells the story of Johnny Reyes, a young California man with cognitive disabilities who was facing up to 20 years of prison time for an altercation he had with a man who was a father figure to him. Reyes was assigned to public defender Noah Cox, who was part of a pilot project aimed at helping persons with cognitive disabilities convicted of crimes to be diverted into treatment programs rather than incarceration. “Most Americans who I've met put a high value on second chances and forgiveness and are not punitive people,” Proudfoot says. “And yet the system is highly punitive.”
Cox notes that the effort to assist persons with intellectual disabilities involves “little efforts” from many people, not unlike the communal processes of reconciliation outlined by Jesus in Matthew 18. “The number one thing I learned was how much change can be accomplished by small actions from many people who are united in their purpose,” Cox told Time magazine. “I don’t think Johnny would be doing nearly so well without everyone’s dedication — I know it means so much to him that everyone is rooting for him.”
When asked, “What does the word grace mean to you in a case like this?” Cox replied with words similar to Jesus’ parable in Matthew 18:21-35:
The situation in Johnny’s case demonstrated the system at its finest. From the judge, the prosecutor, the probation department, the treatment professionals — everyone did more than necessary to ensure that Johnny was given the most appropriate considerations. The law instructs people on their minimum expectations, but the system can only achieve grace when people go beyond the bare minimum.
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WORSHIPby George Reed
Call to Worship
One: God brings out of slavery to our fears and sins.
All: We have become the sanctuary of the Most High.
One: The sea looks at the greatness of God’s work and flees.
All: The mountains are in awe of what God does in us.
One: The whole creation trembles at the presence of our God
All: Who turns rock into pools of water, flint into a spring.
OR
One: Bless God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.
All: We bless our God and remember God’s goodness to us.
One: It is God who forgives all our iniquity.
All: God crowns us with steadfast love and mercy.
One: God is merciful and gracious, abounding in steadfast love.
All: God’s steadfast love is as great as the highest heavens.
OR
One: God offers us the gift of forgiveness.
All: We are in need of the forgiveness of God.
One: The gift also includes the gift of forgiving others.
All: We receive this gift and offer it to others.
One: God’s atonement makes us one with God and with others.
All: We celebrate God’s grace and gladly share it.
Hymns and Songs
There’s a Wideness in God’s Mercy
UMH: 121
H82: 469/470
PH: 298
GTG: 435
NCH: 23
CH: 73
LBW: 290
ELW: 587/588
W&P: 61
AMEC: 78
STLT: 213
From All That Dwell Below the Skies
UMH: 101
H82: 380
PH: 229
GTG: 327
NCH: 27
CH: 49
LBW: 550
AMEC: 69
STLT: 381
The King of Love My Shepherd Is
UMH: 138
H82: 645/646
PH: 171
GTG: 802
NCH: 248
LBW: 456
ELW: 502
Renew: 106
Forgive Our Sins as We Forgive
UMH: 390
H82: 674
PH: 347
GTG: 444
LBW: 307
ELW: 605
W&P: 382
Renew: 184
Help Us Accept Each Other
UMH: 560
PH: 358
GTG: 754
NCH: 388
CH: 487
W&P: 596
AMEC: 558
Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing
UMH: 400
H82: 686
PH: 356
GTG: 475
AAHH: 175
NNBH: 166
NCH: 459
CH: 16
LBW: 499
ELW: 807
W&P: 68
AMEC: 77
STLT: 126
Jesu, Jesu
UMH: 432
H82: 602
PH: 367
GTG: 203
NCH: 498
CH: 600
ELW: 708
W&P: 273
Renew: 289
O God of Every Nation
UMH: 435
H82: 607
PH: 289
GTG: 756
CH: 680
LBW: 416
ELW: 713
W&P: 626
Let There Be Light
UMH: 440
NNBH: 450
NCH: 589
STLT: 142
Lord, You Give the Great Commission
UMH: 584
H82: 528
PH: 429
GTG: 298
CH: 459
ELW: 579
W&P: 592
Renew: 305
Sweet, Sweet Spirit
CCB: 7
Only by Grace
CCB: 42
Music Resources Key
UMH: United Methodist Hymnal
H82: The Hymnal 1982
PH: Presbyterian Hymnal
GTG: Glory to God, The Presbyterian Hymnal
AAHH: African American Heritage Hymnal
NNBH: The New National Baptist Hymnal
NCH: The New Century Hymnal
CH: Chalice Hymnal
LBW: Lutheran Book of Worship
ELW: Evangelical Lutheran Worship
W&P: Worship & Praise
AMEC: African Methodist Episcopal Church Hymnal
STLT: Singing the Living Tradition
CCB: Cokesbury Chorus Book
Renew: Renew! Songs & Hymns for Blended Worship
Prayer for the Day/Collect
O God who removes our sins as far as the east is from the west:
Grant us the grace to forgive others who sin against us
and to seek their forgiveness for our faults;
through Jesus Christ our Savior. Amen.
OR
We praise you, O God, because you remove our sins as far as the east is from the west. You are gracious and merciful to your children. Help us to also be gracious and merciful and to forgive those who wrong us. Help us to be willing to seek forgiveness when we do wrong, as well. Amen.
Prayer of Confession
One: Let us confess to God and before one another our sins and especially our failure to forgive and to seek forgiveness from others.
All: We confess to you, O God, and before one another that we have sinned. We have sinned and you have forgiven us but we are slow to forgive others who have wronged us. We hold on to our grudges and hatred. We separate ourselves from others and we do not seek healing for our broken relationships. When we have hurt others instead of seeking forgivingness, we assign blame to the one we wronged. Forgive us once again and instill in us a spirit of forgiveness that reflects your own. Amen.
One: God is forgiving and delights when we reflect that spirit in our relationships with others. Receive God’s grace and be gracious to all.
Prayers of the People
We worship and adore you, O God of mercy and forgiveness. You are gracious and filled with loving kindness. Your mercy is from everlasting to everlasting.
(The following paragraph may be used if a separate prayer of confession has not been used.)
We confess to you, O God, and before one another that we have sinned. We have sinned and you have forgiven us but we are slow to forgive others who have wronged us. We hold on to our grudges and hatred. We separate ourselves from others and we do not seek healing for our broken relationships. When we have hurt others instead of seeking forgivingness, we assign blame to the one we wronged. Forgive us once again and instill in us a spirit of forgiveness that reflects your own.
We thank you for the blessings you heap upon us. They are abundant. We thank you for your forgiveness and grace. We thank you for the ways in which our burdens are lightened when we also are forgiving. We thank you for making us one family of humankind. Thank you for those who remind us of our solidarity with all your children.
(Other thanksgivings may be offered.)
We pray for one another in our need. We pray for those we have wronged and for those we feel have wronged us. We pray for those who are locked in hatred and violence over perceived or actual wrongs. We pray for those who suffer because of the violence around them.
(Other intercessions may be offered.)
Hear us as we pray for others: (Time for silent or spoken prayer.)
All these things we ask in the name of our Savior Jesus Christ who taught us to pray saying:
Our Father....Amen.
(Or if the Our Father is not used at this point in the service.)
All this we ask in the name of the Blessed and Holy Trinity. Amen.
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CHILDREN'S SERMONMade From the Same Stuff
by Elena Delhagen
Romans 14:1-12
You will need three containers of Play-Doh in different colors.
Good morning, friends! It is so wonderful to see you here in church today! Speaking of church, I have a question for you: When you think of church, what kinds of things come to mind? (Allow a few moments for answers.)
Yes, all of those are wonderful things that remind us of church! Now, I have another question: Let’s pretend maybe you went to a different church one Sunday, one you’d never been to. Do you think it would be the same as this church? (Allow a few moments for answers.)
Correct! It would not be exactly the same. What kinds of things do you think might be different? (Allow a few moments for answers.)
You know, I’ve been to lots of different churches in my life, and each one was a little bit different! I’ve been to some churches that have loud music or where people might dance or clap. I’ve been to some churches that are quiet, where we kneel or bow a lot. I’ve been to churches that have male pastors and I’ve been to churches that have female pastors. And some churches might decorate differently or maybe even use different words when they’re praying.
But the thing is, even though all those churches were different from one another — they also had a lot of things that were the same! For example, even if the prayers were different, we were still praying to God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. And whether it was a male or a female preaching the sermon, they would still use the same Bible. All of those churches were still worshiping God, even if it looked differently from one church to another.
(Take out one container of Play-Doh, rolling it and molding it a bit.) It’s kind of like this Play-Doh right here. This Play-Doh is soft, and smooth, and I can use it to...let’s see here…roll it into a nice little ball! There we go. Now I have a (insert color here) ball made out of Play-Doh. (Set it down and pick up another container of Play-Doh, rolling it and molding it a bit.)
But then I have this Play-Doh here. It’s a different color…hmmm…and I’m going to use it to make…a flat pancake! So, first I made a (insert color here) ball, and now I made a (insert color here) pancake.
(Set it down and pick up another container of Play-Doh, rolling it and molding it a bit.) Then I have this Play-Doh! This is a different color from the other two, isn’t it? I’m going to roll this out and make a nice, long, squiggle line with this Play-Doh! Look at that! First I made a (insert color here) ball, and then I made a (insert color here) pancake, and now I made a (insert color here) squiggle line. These all look so different from one another, don’t they? But even though they are different in some ways, they’re also the same. They’re all Play-Doh! They’re all made out of the same thing! (Set the Play-Doh down.)
That’s kind of what God’s church is like. It’s made up of all sorts of different people with different skin colors and hair colors, who speak different languages or come from different places. We all worship God in different ways, too! Some people might sing or clap really loud, or some people might pray quietly, or some people might laugh or cry — we’re all so different!
But even though we’re different, we’re also the same. Just like the Play-Doh. We’re all made out of the same stuff. We’re all created by God, loved by God, and called by God. Back in the early church, not too long after Jesus died and rose again, there were lots of Christians who would gather to worship God, and you know what? They all worshiped in different ways. And some people started saying, “You can’t do that! You have to worship God the way that I do, or else you’re not really a Christian!”
But the Apostle Paul said that it was okay to be different and to worship God and follow God in different ways. Because at the end of the day, we’re all made from the same stuff. God cares way more about what’s on the inside, in our hearts, than about what we do or say when we come to church.
(End in prayer, thanking God that we are made in beautiful diversity and that we have things in common, especially that we are loved and called by God.)
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The Immediate Word, September 17, 2023 issue.
Copyright 2023 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to The Immediate Word service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons and in worship and classroom settings only. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., 5450 N. Dixie Highway, Lima, Ohio 45807.
